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Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 12:49 AM
Hey everyone! I’ve been wanting to grow my hair long for years and unfortunately, I always had hair stylists who kept cutting it, despite my protests. I haven’t been to a hair stylist in a long time so I haven’t even had a trim and my hair has gotten much longer and is almost at the length I’m looking for but it doesn’t look very good. It doesn’t look how I expected it to look. Here’s what I mean. I don’t know how to describe exactly what I don’t like about it but it just doesn’t look very good. It doesn’t seem flattering. It doesn’t look right. The only thing I can think of is it’s too thin which is making it not look right. I’ve been having health issues and my hair is a lot thinner than how it used to be, mostly from low ferritin.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=29q08c1&s=9#.VkboiEv41g0

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=ta085w&s=9#.VkbovEv41g0

I found this picture from when I was 13-14 and my hair looked great! I don’t remember letting any hairstylist touch it and I was in good health. It was really thick and long (exactly at the length I’m looking for) and it looked pretty and flattering. This is when I had dark brown hair before it started getting a reddish tint and turning colors. All I had to do here was straighten it and I would have loved it.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=vpcknd&s=9#.Vkbijkv41g0

Here’s what I’m looking for. I like really long hair. I like it to be just past the chest like this girl has. I like layers that don’t look like layers. This is what I’m looking for. It’s so pretty! Her hair is at the length I want but it looks good. It looks natural and flattering, unlike my hair long right now.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2r2tdv5&s=9#.VkbpeUv41g0

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=24lqz6h&s=9#.Vkbpokv41g0

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2m47uba&s=9#.Vkbp1Ev41g0


I’ve had layers before and I did not like them. It’s not that I don’t like layers (I’ve heard you actually need layers in your hair for movement, I’m not sure if that’s true or not). I just didn’t like this layered cut. One side is mostly one length with the other side having tons of layers and just a mess. It looks like I didn’t brush my hair that day. I also remember it being hard to wear ponytails.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2mrw7q0&s=9#.VkbsJUv41g0

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=24yy2du&s=9#.VkbsW0v41g0

So I was wondering why my hair isn’t looking right long? Why it’s not flattering? Is it just because it’s thin and not thick? And how can I get the type of cut I’m looking for like this girl has? Thanks everyone!

Sarahlabyrinth
November 14th, 2015, 12:52 AM
I can't see any of your pictures.

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 12:57 AM
If you're reading my question right now, I'm having problems with the links. Sorry, I'm trying to fix them.

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 01:11 AM
Okay it's fixed. I don't know what the problem was. It might be tinypic having the problem. I'm about to go to bed so if the links don't work again, I'm really sorry and just look at the pictures that work. Thank you!

Nellon
November 14th, 2015, 03:27 AM
My initial thought is: Did you try the curly girl method? Perhaps you hair needs more moisture since you're curly? :)
Also, I love your hair, the colour and the curls. It's pretty darn perfect to me. Honestly. It looks good, perhaps just a bit dry and in need of some TLC? :)

ETA: However, I'm not the expert on this. Someone else will come along with great advice I'm sure!

lapushka
November 14th, 2015, 04:16 AM
I think your hair looks great & amazing as it is. You could try adding more moisture, such as a thicker conditioner (Shea Moisture line) or one with silicones in it. Maybe try changing up your routine, before taking scissors to it (don't see why you should, really).

cat11
November 14th, 2015, 11:32 AM
Your hair type is completely different from that other girl. Your hair will never look like that on its own. I am not saying this to be harsh, but because you need to accept it to be happy with your hair. My hair is very similar to yours but with looser curls/waves (its stretched in my siggy & most pics tho). I think you could make it a lot smoother using tips from this forum but it would still be wavy and the layers will lay a bit fluffier since you have fine individual strands. We can give you tips on conditioning/smoothing/hair care if you want but this post seem more cut oriented. Layers behave a lot different on people with curly or wavy hair than on people with straight hair. If you were to straighten your hair every time you washed it then it might look somewhat like that, but not completely since your hair looks more light weight. And it would take a toll on your fragile hair type to be doing it all the time at that length. The girl looks like she might have straightened her hair too but its hard to tell.

I think the reason all your layers are on one side of the head is most likely because you wore it with a very deep side part and it was probably cut with your hair parted in the middle or with a natural part.. Part your hair the way it was cut for it to look right.

Aside from that judging from those pics, tho its hard to tell, it looks like the girl only has the bottom couple inches layered around her head, IF even that(looks like it could be natural taper, maybe even from the straightening...,) and most of the shorter pieces are actually just face framing layers around the front. I would recommend not getting layers all around and just having them cut long, face framing layers in the very front to get that look she has when you straighten your hair. :)

Also the length you want we refer to as mid back length. But at a hair dressers when getting a cut I'd tell them the exact number in I inches to take off, measure before you go..

Just my two cents :)


(I’ve heard you actually need layers in your hair for movement, I’m not sure if that’s true or not).
Not true, if you are in doubt head to the "hair in motion" thread... long hair of every kind moves and blows around and drapes in pretty ways.

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 12:42 PM
I know you guys aren't trying to be rude but I don't think any of us want to hear we can't have the hair length/style/cut/color we're looking for. At one point when I was around 15, I had a hair stylist who straightened my hair for me and it did look like that every time she straightened it. She moved to another state unfortunately. Curly hair is dominant. Most everyone has naturally curly hair yet you see most everyone with straight hair because they are all straightening it and it looks natural and pretty! And yes that girl has naturally curly hair too and straightens it. I've seen the pictures of her with her naturally curly hair on her Facebook page. Most celebrities you see with straight hair also have naturally curly hair like Nina Dobrev.

Thank you for saying you like my natural hair but I don't. I haven't been happy with it since 5th grade and I want to straighten it. I will never like my curly hair. After using Shades EQ it was the healthiest it's ever been and I still didn't like my curly hair. Straight hair and curling iron curls/waves is just what I like and nothing is going to change my mind. I wasn't asking about straight versus curly hair. I know I want straight hair. That wasn't the question. I was asking why her hair looks good long and why MY own hair looked good long at 13-14 but doesn't look good long now. I'm guessing it's the thickness and cut but that's why I'm asking.

As far as the curly girl method, my hair likes sulfates. I recently used a sulfate free shampoo for months and had major hair loss and bald spots on the sides of my head. I thought it was health related like my low ferritin which made sense because low ferritin causes hair loss. But my ferritin is still low. Exactly where it was before. I haven't used the shampoo in 2 months and I have tons of flyaways and the bald spots are starting to fill in. The same thing has happened with other sulfate free shampoos in the past and they don't all have an ingredient in common. My guess is either that my hair doesn't like to be overmoisturized or that dirt and oil is getting trapped in my hair follicles causing them to be inflamed since it doesn't clean effectively. Like what's going on with Wen. People are having bald spots and major hair loss from it. There's a lawsuit against them. So when I have that kind of reaction to sulfate free shampoos, there's no telling what cowashing would do. I've just accepted that my hair has to have sulfates to be happy. It might not be as healthy as it would be if I wasn't using sulfates but I'd much rather have hair.

That makes a lot of sense about the part! My hairstylist at the time always cut my hair with a middle part. I prefer side parts though so I'll ask my new hair stylist to cut it while it's parted to the side. Thank you!

Also thank you for telling me what the length I'm looking for is called. I've been wondering what it's called but I wasn't sure what to call it.

The long face framing layers makes sense. I will ask for that and I will check out that thread. Thank you for your help! :)

Sarahlabyrinth
November 14th, 2015, 12:56 PM
Hair straightening (using flat irons) causes a lot of damage to hair, and likely will be to yours as well, if you are doing that. Have you looked into non heat methods of hair straightening, because it sounds like you prefer your hair straight rather than wavy/curly.

If you want healthy hair, it may be best if you learn to work with your hair and what it wants to do, rather than trying to force your hair to do something it doesn't really want to do. It will also take much less time and effort.

Gentleness and avoiding damage is one of the secrets to healthy hair, and patience too. Any damage you currently have can be disguised to some extent, but the only way to remove that damage completely is to use scissors, unfortunately. Your hair is pretty just the way it is, and there are lots of ways to maximise that.

ReadingRenee
November 14th, 2015, 12:59 PM
If you have to use sulfates you might want to check out the WCC thread. Basically, wash condition, condition. I have wavy hair prone to frizz and I can't use sulfate free shampoo, and this has helped a lot. Basically after washing, you condition, let it sit at least two minutes, rinse out and then condition again with a different (usually heavier) conditioner, let it sit for two minutes, and rinse out. It really helps with extra moisture and smoothing for me. The link to the WCC thread is in Lapushkas signature below me. ;)

lapushka
November 14th, 2015, 01:02 PM
I know you guys aren't trying to be rude but I don't think any of us want to hear we can't have the hair length/style/cut/color we're looking for. At one point when I was around 15, I had a hair stylist who straightened my hair for me and it did look like that every time she straightened it. She moved to another state unfortunately. Curly hair is dominant. Most everyone has naturally curly hair yet you see most everyone with straight hair because they are all straightening it and it looks natural and pretty! And yes that girl has naturally curly hair too and straightens it. I've seen the pictures of her with her naturally curly hair on her Facebook page. Most celebrities you see with straight hair also have naturally curly hair like Nina Dobrev.

This site and people on it will always say to work with what you've got, and not try to force your hair into a "style", shape or cut that it isn't naturally wanting to be. Nobody is going to stop you, but you will have damage. You will always have damage!

My scalp needs sulfates (seborrheic dermatitis) and that is why I do WCC (link is in my signature) for my hair to still be wavy. It works. Maybe try some other methods before you toss in the towel and say you don't like your natural hair. It may just be the methods you're using. Back when I was a teen I went from 1b/c hair to 2b/c due to puberty and hormones and I kept treating it as if it were straight. It took me 2 decades to let my hair be natural. I just didn't know how to deal with it. Now I do and I've never been happier. So I get it, I do.

cat11
November 14th, 2015, 01:09 PM
I know you guys aren't trying to be rude but I don't think any of us want to hear we can't have the hair length/style/cut/color we're looking for. At one point when I was around 15, I had a hair stylist who straightened my hair for me and it did look like that every time she straightened it. She moved to another state unfortunately. Curly hair is dominant. Most everyone has naturally curly hair yet you see most everyone with straight hair because they are all straightening it and it looks natural and pretty! And yes that girl has naturally curly hair too and straightens it. I've seen the pictures of her with her naturally curly hair on her Facebook page. Most celebrities you see with straight hair also have naturally curly hair like Nina Dobrev.

You're welcome- Im glad I could help!

I'm very sorry I offended you- it was meant to be a bit of tough love from someone who used to be just like you always straightening my hair and wondering why I couldn't get X look down pat like the person I saw it on. I did not want to hear "oh your curls are gorgeous." I just wanted it to be different and thought I'd never like it. My hair started to be much less frustrating when I started making the best of what it was- not what I wanted it to be- and learned techniques to deal with it properly for it's type online. Ehhhh sorry for the mini speech. Im really sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings. Your hair looks good straight and curly, for the record :) Do what makes you happy in this moment. I totally respect you want straight hair right now.

For the most part, this forum is all about growing the overall best looking, healtiest, longest hair you can. People give advice with this goal in mind. Not nessecarily "whipping your hair into submission" to achieve a certain look or how to get your hair to do one style for fashion. That's why people are encouraging your curls. You could grow longer without straightening. Less splits. Think of types of hair as subjects in school. Someone with curly hair with a great pattern like you could get a %100 in the thud-worthy curls category. With a lot more work, you could get a %85 in the straight catergory- but couldn't do as well as those it comes naturally for. Again- tough love- but the truth. LHCers see that discreopency in potential and thats what they are addressing. The comments may seem rude but they are trying to point you in the direction of most potential. Its like, you can tell a kid who sucks at math- "yeah, go for it, try to be an engineer!" but most people would think it would be better, easier, and kinder to encourage him to excel in other areas he's naturally gifted at. That is the realistic place those comments come from :)

Chocowalnut
November 14th, 2015, 09:00 PM
You're welcome- Im glad I could help!

I'm very sorry I offended you- it was meant to be a bit of tough love from someone who used to be just like you always straightening my hair and wondering why I couldn't get X look down pat like the person I saw it on. I did not want to hear "oh your curls are gorgeous." I just wanted it to be different and thought I'd never like it. My hair started to be much less frustrating when I started making the best of what it was- not what I wanted it to be- and learned techniques to deal with it properly for it's type online. Ehhhh sorry for the mini speech. Im really sorry if I offended you or hurt your feelings. Your hair looks good straight and curly, for the record :) Do what makes you happy in this moment. I totally respect you want straight hair right now.

For the most part, this forum is all about growing the overall best looking, healtiest, longest hair you can. People give advice with this goal in mind. Not nessecarily "whipping your hair into submission" to achieve a certain look or how to get your hair to do one style for fashion. That's why people are encouraging your curls. You could grow longer without straightening. Less splits. Think of types of hair as subjects in school. Someone with curly hair with a great pattern like you could get a %100 in the thud-worthy curls category. With a lot more work, you could get a %85 in the straight catergory- but couldn't do as well as those it comes naturally for. Again- tough love- but the truth. LHCers see that discreopency in potential and thats what they are addressing. The comments may seem rude but they are trying to point you in the direction of most potential. Its like, you can tell a kid who sucks at math- "yeah, go for it, try to be an engineer!" but most people would think it would be better, easier, and kinder to encourage him to excel in other areas he's naturally gifted at. That is the realistic place those comments come from :)

All this advice is great. I went a long time depressed wondering why my straightened hair never looked like other girl's straight hair (presumably naturally straight).

Dessi
November 14th, 2015, 10:49 PM
I think your hair is absolutely fine the way it is! Doesn't look thin to me at all. And I'm for natural ways of straightening hair!
I'm really surprised by this thing you said - that many people have curly hair where you are. In my country, you'd never see a person with naturally curly hair! And how I wish I had curly hair, my waves are gone the second day after a wash and braid waves are all I have after that.. :D

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 11:54 PM
Thank you everyone! :) I know you didn’t mean to offend me. It’s just that people like what they like. I remember in 5th grade I had dirty blonde curly hair. Everyone loved it. I remember the guys pulling up a seat next to me lol I loved the color but I didn’t like the curls. There have been lots of times when my curls looked healthy but I still didn’t like them so it’s not a matter of health. I just don’t like naturally curly hair, except on guys. I do love curling iron curls/waves. I tend to ask girls who have curling iron curls/waves what they used on their hair and they’ll tell me the name of the curling iron they used. I know that some people fight it for years and eventually embrace the curls but trust me, I’m not going to do that. I do agree with trying to achieve the healthiest looking, longest hair you can so maybe I should try some non-heat methods of getting it straight and wavy. I absolutely love wavy hair so if I could get it wavy (not curly) without frizz, that would be a style I could wear some days. Right now my hair is a mix of curls and waves but I want all waves. And it used to be super curly and I think health problems changed the curl pattern and possibly the fact that it’s gotten a lot longer too. I really hope it doesn’t come back. It’s much easier to work with a mix of curls and waves than tight curls. I could try getting rid of the frizz, braiding it, and sleeping in it and it might make pretty waves the next day. I don’t want to use those curlformers. I have tried those and it pulled my hair out. I left them in for a few minutes and it pulled lots of hair out. Do you know what non-heat methods I can use to wear it straight some days? I want to rotate between straight and wavy. I see what you guys are saying. Nothing is wrong with wanting to wear my hair straight, it’s just that using heat to get it straight is really damaging and will put me further away from my goal of getting it really long. And I do get we shouldn’t try to force our hair into a style, shape, or cut it’s not wanting to be...but what about color? Don’t most of us color treat our hair? I’m just curious why doesn’t the same thing apply to color?

I haven’t heard of the WCC method before but that sounds like it might work for my hair. I will check it out, thank you! For the conditioning, I have both moisture and protein conditioners. Do I use one of each or how does that work? And I’m assuming it doesn’t cause hair loss right? I’m really nervous after what happened with the sulfate free shampoo.

hypersensitive
November 15th, 2015, 02:27 AM
Color treating hair is also damaging. It lifts the cuticle and nothing really smooths it back down to the way it was before. Bleach is the worst, because it is permanent damage. But there are threads here of people who bleach their hair and are trying to maximize length. I recently redyed my hair to its natural color from a lighter brown that was achieved through bleach. My hair will never be as healthy as when it was my virgin natural color.at least until I grow it out and cut it off. But I knew the consequences going in and decided to do it so. But I am willing to pay the price. Only you can decide if you think it is worth it to achieve the look you want.

cat11
November 15th, 2015, 09:35 AM
Yeah, on here most people use semi permanent dye which coats over the shaft instead of breaking into it and changing it chemically. Or henna or henna & indigo to get various shades or red, brown, and black. That way you can maintain hair's condition but still color. there are box dyers though.

Also, I can totally help you stretching for waves. That's what I do. I just find it easier to deal with (and conveniently, the styles I wear in the day stretch my hair! But you could do it at night if you want) I find that loose braids (but with all of the hairs going in the same direction) are good. But what I mostly use is buns. The process of detangling it from tip to root with a wide tooth comb, putting 2 drops of oil on each side on the bottom half, and then twisting it into a bun seriously straightens (or waves, rather) it out. If you wear your hair in a twisty bun like a lazy wrap bun (instructions on you tube) or a disc bun and wear it for a day or for a night it should stretch it out a bit. For me doing braids had a really dramatic stretching effect too. The looser you braid the wider the wave. You can get your hair very slightly damp before you do it and that helps too. I think it helps too to make it more smooth is every time you make a braid pass you smooth down the entire strand. Torrinpaige has a good video on this. Its for french braiding but the technique is for all braids (https://youtu.be/HTUiDFhzjao) It makes so much neater braids and helps the waves look smoother that result of them too. The first time I did two braids (one on either side- what I'd recommend) I couldn't believe how much poof it took out of my hair and how evenly wavy it made it look.

There's also the caterpillar braid method.
You take your hair and neatly comb it into a pony on the nape of your neck, making your crown as neatly and straightly combed out as possible. Then tug it down a teeny bit so that even the hairs on the bottom by your neck go in the down direction (hope this makes sense, avoids you getting a bigger bump there) then every two inches put another hair tie on the ponytail, and tug it a bit so its going tightly down instead of making a bubble. do this down the whole length as often as you want. It makes some pretty straight hair!! Not pin straight but slightly slightly wavy straight.

There's a straightening method too which I haven't used where you wrap your hair around your entire head in sections to straighten it. Ive seen videos on youtube of people with tight curls doing it, if people with very tight curls can do it I don't see why you couldn't. I'm pretty sure, like rollers, you sleep on it. https://youtu.be/m1RO-d1Z9Hs this is the basic idea you can make adjustments of course, I wouldnt start brushing your hair at the roots with a bbb like she does cause thats bad for fine hair, in stead id detangle it first with a wide tooth comb, then use a fine tooth comb for the top...

I know there's others I cant think of. If you google "non heat straightening long hair community" or look it up on you tube there should be even more!

lapushka
November 15th, 2015, 09:58 AM
I haven’t heard of the WCC method before but that sounds like it might work for my hair. I will check it out, thank you! For the conditioning, I have both moisture and protein conditioners. Do I use one of each or how does that work? And I’m assuming it doesn’t cause hair loss right? I’m really nervous after what happened with the sulfate free shampoo.

It just means you can still use the harsh sulfates, but you get the benefits of conditioning it twice, which might eliminate all the frizz and weigh it down some. I typically use 2 different conditioners. You could use a protein one first and a moisturizing one after, but it's not a must.

dancingrain91
November 15th, 2015, 12:53 PM
I think that girl just has face framing layers and side bangs as someone mentioned earlier. So don't cut in layers all around your head and try to encourage them to go at a steep angle. I don't know how you could make your hair look like hers. She has completely different hair from you. You could try straightening it and dye it brown. It will get very damaged though since you appear to have fine hair. Fine damaged hair is a major pain in the butt to coerce into looking good. You will need to use lots of protein and silicones and spend a good amount of time styling it. Especially since you are showing us this girl's styled look versus your every day look.

As far as the loss of thickness, it looks to me like your hair got less poofy so now it looks thinner than it did when it was curlier. It's hard to tell but that's my guess. You will never get hair to look as thick as it does when it's poofy when it gets straighter. But the girl in the picture seems to have thinner hair so it doesn't seem like that would interfere with your goal.

Christine_O
December 2nd, 2015, 02:38 PM
...but what about color? Don’t most of us color treat our hair? I’m just curious why doesn’t the same thing apply to color?...

You know, I find this a very odd question. Until I joined the LHC community I had never considered color treating my hair, was actually wishing I would start to grey because I thought it would soften my look. Now I use henna because I learned it could actually strengthen and protect my very fine, easily damaged hair.
I know a lot of people who choose healthy hair over colors that, forgive my prejudice, don't work with their natural coloring anyway.