Hair depression

[Thumper]

I am finding myself getting really emotionally upset about my hair. For a little history - I used to have really long straight hair down past my BSL but just above my waist. The last time it was really healthy was about 5 years ago. At that time, we were on a different well system with our home and the water was terribly contaminated with iron which made the water dark brown/orange. My DH was playing with the chemistry to clean the water and eventually got the right ratio, however the end result was that there was so much chlorine in, you couldn't even sit in bath without almost passing out from the fumes. I believe this was the start of a dark journey for my hair. It slowly began breaking off. Now over a year ago, we paid over 10K for a new well which we should have done years ago, but anyways, we have crystal clear water and zero treatment as the water is not hard and has normal amounts of minerals in it. However the damage is still there and my hair is now between my shoulders and BSL. If you look at the back of my head you can see the 'line' going across where the majority of the breakage occured so there are different lengths all over the place. Every day I put my hair up in a bun and use a wood hair clip to keep it there. I cannot wear my hair down due to the bad decay of it (I've actually had people ask me if I was okay because of my hair!). Last night I decided to put it in a braid instead of the usual bun on top of my head. From the nape of my neck down, the braid was about the circumference of a straw - and I cried. I worked so hard for so long to keep my hair long and healthy...and now not only has most of it broken off, but it KEEPS BREAKING!!! I do go to my hair dresser about every 3 months and even she notes when she sees me that it looks worse than the time before. Thanks for listening, I just feel like my hair will never come back to the way it once was - I really don't think it will. I'm 44 and I think my days of healthy long hair are over.

[lapushka]

Now over a year ago, we paid over 10K for a new well which we should have done years ago, but anyways, we have crystal clear water and zero treatment as the water is not hard and has normal amounts of minerals in it. However the damage is still there and my hair is now between my shoulders and BSL. If you look at the back of my head you can see the 'line' going across where the majority of the breakage occured so there are different lengths all over the place. Every day I put my hair up in a bun and use a wood hair clip to keep it there. I cannot wear my hair down due to the bad decay of it (I've actually had people ask me if I was okay because of my hair!). Last night I decided to put it in a braid instead of the usual bun on top of my head. From the nape of my neck down, the braid was about the circumference of a straw - and I cried. I worked so hard for so long to keep my hair long and healthy...and now not only has most of it broken off, but it KEEPS BREAKING!!! I do go to my hair dresser about every 3 months and even she notes when she sees me that it looks worse than the time before. Thanks for listening, I just feel like my hair will never come back to the way it once was - I really don't think it will. I'm 44 and I think my days of healthy long hair are over.

I think it is still the breakage catching up to you... But at least one year of it is full healthy hair. 44 is still young, and you have plenty of time to grow it back. Just keep the focus real! And maybe have it cut shorter a bit, then slowly start microtrimming; that to me would be the way to go forward.

Stay strong! You can do it. :) :flower:

[copperlites]

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing and am sending you big hugs. Perhaps seek some medical advice as there could be other underlying reasons that your hair is maybe not growing as strongly as it once did? I am a similar age ( 47) and know the the hair i am growing now is far finer and more fragile than it was 10 years ago, and yet my diet is far healthier. Also it may be worth looking at a filter for your shower heads to eliminate some of the chlorine in the water for your hair. or maybe get a rain water tank, just for hair purposes? I am no expert at all but hope that some of these suggestions may be worth investigating further if you have not already?

[Thumper]

Thank you Copperlites for your kind words; we do not have chlorine in the system any more. My new hair is actually growing in not to badly, its the remenents from when we did have chlorine that are continuing to break. I think I might do as lapushka suggest above and just do a major chop.

I am so sorry for what you are experiencing and am sending you big hugs. Perhaps seek some medical advice as there could be other underlying reasons that your hair is maybe not growing as strongly as it once did? I am a similar age ( 47) and know the the hair i am growing now is far finer and more fragile than it was 10 years ago, and yet my diet is far healthier. Also it may be worth looking at a filter for your shower heads to eliminate some of the chlorine in the water for your hair. or maybe get a rain water tank, just for hair purposes? I am no expert at all but hope that some of these suggestions may be worth investigating further if you have not already?

[bunneh.]

That's so sad :( I don't know if it would help anything, but maybe try some conditioning treatments like oiling the ends or using leave-in conditioner... If it doesn't work out you can always cut it.

[Arctic]

I trust you have been using a swimmer's shampoo when/after the chlorine water exposure? Proteins and moisture treatments? Oils and silicones?

Well, one things for sure; if the new growth is coming in healthy and nice, you have good things happening and there will be long and healthy mane for you in the near future.

I also recommend regular trimming, it will make your hair look better from day to day, untill you get the damage trimmed off.

[Gabriel]

:grouphug: Hey Thumper, nothing to suggest that hasn't already been suggested but just wanted to offer you a hug.

[MsPharaohMoan]

Yeah, if you find the hair from those days is starting to affect the new growth in terms of damage, biting the bullet and chopping as much of the damage out might be best for the integrity of the new, healthy hair. You could start your journey with fresh ends and all growth from then on you'll know you'll be keeping. That being said, it is your own choice to make and microtrimming would mean keeping the length until the damage is cut out over time. I'm sorry to hear this has you feeling so bummed, you deserve to be happy. On the plus side, you've mentioned your new growth appears to be healthy, which means I'm sure you'll have long, healthy hair in time. :flowers:

[Gertrude]

I have fragile hair, and it can't deal with chlorine very well. I live in London, UK, so there's chlorine in the tap water shampoo and conditioner help with but swimming in pools with a high concentration chlorine like I was forced to do in elementary school does make my hair brittle and break off. There were no showers before or after so it dried in my hair. , no swimmers shampoo but gradually my hair did change. It was also like Sun in and colour was lost from the damaged areas. Some other blonde girls had similar issues, and others didn't. I know my hair is very porous. I am so sorry to read about your experience in your own home with chlorine.

There are great suggestions about treatments you can try from other posters, and mine is just my experience. I cut off the damage and the new hair growing in was all right. There weren't products like now when I was a child decades ago.

I really feel for you a lot. Perhaps you could try the various conditioning treatments and keep on micro-trimming each month, or cut off more in stages or at once but give yourself some time.

[pailin]

I don't have any more hair advice to offer; it sounds pretty discouraging. But maybe it might be helpful for you to choose some ways to pamper yourself a little when you're feeling down about your hair. And there are certainly people on this forum who are growing out damage of some sort, and others who've already grown it out; I hope you can find lots of encouragement on the way here. It will grow, and you will have beautiful long hair again!

[meteor]

I'm very sorry to hear you are having such a tough time! Sending hugs your way! :grouphug:

If you experience such serious water problems again, I'd wash hair with chelating/swimmers' shampoos or in distilled water. Distilled water is usually sold in huge amounts very cheaply in stores dealing with cars - for car radiators. Experimenting with so-called "Miracle Water" (with Vit. C and citric acid) might help, too.

Hair that is breaking off or experiencing other forms of damage can really benefit from oils and some form of protein treatment from time to time. This article (http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.ca/2015/10/protein-101-lots-of-basic-information.html) covers it really well. I would do deep oil and protein treatments while microtrimming the damaged ends away.

Also, the fact that other people are asking you if you are OK based on hair makes me wonder if it would be worth considering getting blood work done next time with this issue in mind, as well. :flower: Sometimes health conditions and some medication can make hair brittle or otherwise a lot more prone to breakage (e.g. via miniaturization of hair strands or change in sebum production, etc). If it coincided with water problems, it could look like only water was to blame, while there could be some underlying health issues...


I'm really happy that your new growth is feeling much better! :D That's such a great sign! :applause Stay positive! Your new healthy growth will be travelling down and your hair will be doing better and better! :cheer:

[cat11]

I don't think your good days of hair are over. I think you should cut off all the bad hair and it will grow back. I think in this particular situation cutting is the right solution and will stop you from having anxiety over you r breaking hair and feeling self conscious about the looks of it. It will also help you grow, your ends are probably breaking at the same rate your roots ate growing.

[chen bao jun]

Hugs to you.

Your good hair days are not over at age 44. I started taking care of my hair at age 55 and at age 58, its nothing but good hair days now and my hair is better than since I was a child.

I would suggest you read Nightbloomings article on 'Damage' in the articles section.

some can bear to big chop, and some can't. If you can't bear to have short hair, definitely go the microtrimming route (which is what I've been doing) and after you make sure you have got the chlorine totally out of your hair (I know you said you had, but a swimmer's shampoo treatment or chelating may be good to make sure), start babying your ends with lots of treatments like SMTs (recipe is over in the Recipes section). Also make yourself a batch of Fox's shea butter conditioner http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=4586

Spritz your damaged hair with kimberlily's defrizz spray (recipe section), put fox's shea butter on it and wear it up. spritz it again and put more fox's shea butter and then put it in a cap (braided if you choose) at night. I would try this for 3 months before you do any significant cut. The wearing the hair up is an important part of this. This regimen saved my hair--I was able to microtrim the damage gradually off.

[Groovy Granny]

Oh hey....I'm 20 years older than you and still growing; you've got plenty of time to recover!
I don't have any advice to give , but some of the girls will (and already have).
Wishing you healthy hair and happy growing ~ hang in there :cheer:

[lapushka]

You know what I don't get? How well water in any way, shape or form can cause something like this? Maybe something else was going on?

[Thumper]

You know what I don't get? How well water in any way, shape or form can cause something like this? Maybe something else was going on?

Hi - it's not the well water in itself, it's because the first well we had - had very *hard* water and we had to treat it with heavy amounts of chlorine. So basically I was washing my hair in a high concentration of the stuff. We got the new well about 2 years ago and now there are no issues so we do not have to treat the water.
I will point out however that with the original well, part of the hardness was iron and apparently the iron can choke your hair and make it brittle.

[lapushka]

Hi - it's not the well water in itself, it's because the first well we had - had very *hard* water and we had to treat it with heavy amounts of chlorine. So basically I was washing my hair in a high concentration of the stuff. We got the new well about 2 years ago and now there are no issues so we do not have to treat the water.
I will point out however that with the original well, part of the hardness was iron and apparently the iron can choke your hair and make it brittle.

I have had hard water (the hardest) all my life... I don't have issues with it. Are you sure your bloodwork is on point? :confused:

[Thumper]

I have had hard water (the hardest) all my life... I don't have issues with it. Are you sure your bloodwork is on point? :confused:

I don't understand your question?? It was the chlorine we were using to treat the water that was damaging my hair - not the hardness of the water.

[truepeacenik]

Thumper,
The question Lapushka and a couple others are asking is: have you gotten a full check up?
Yes iron and chlorine can wreak havoc, but health can, too.

Now, you say that the new hair since the new well is healthy, so I think that you are correct in assuming it's topical chemical damage.

I'm 47. I think if my braid was only straw thickness, and I knew it was canopy breakage, I'd chop.
Well, I'd probably due it blue for a while then chop, but I'd definitely take the stress out of my life by cutting off the damage.

But I wouldn't think all my good hair days were behind me.
I know my hair is different than it was in my 20s, but it's still wonderful, and I still want a lot of it.

[Thumper]

Thumper,
The question Lapushka and a couple others are asking is: have you gotten a full check up?
Yes iron and chlorine can wreak havoc, but health can, too.

Now, you say that the new hair since the new well is healthy, so I think that you are correct in assuming it's topical chemical damage.

I'm 47. I think if my braid was only straw thickness, and I knew it was canopy breakage, I'd chop.
Well, I'd probably due it blue for a while then chop, but I'd definitely take the stress out of my life by cutting off the damage.

But I wouldn't think all my good hair days were behind me.
I know my hair is different than it was in my 20s, but it's still wonderful, and I still want a lot of it.

Oh yes - just had my regular check up a month ago and i'm in perfect health, thyroid, iron - everything is fine.

[luxurioushair]

I don't think your days of nice hair are over. New hair is growing from your scalp, so just remember that the state of your hair now, is really just what your hair was. It is not your new hair, it's old hair from the past few years. So I think, you should focus on how to have new hair that is in the best possible condition.

#1 thing, stop stressing, otherwise your new hair will also be weak. Think about how lucky you are to have had nice hair most of your life, and remember, you can get it back. You have done it before. This is just a short interruption, after which you will likely return to having amazing hair.

Do all the good stuff (eat right, exercise, don't stress, don't dry your hair out etc) and soon you will see, the hair at your roots will be lovely and thick, and you will grow out the weak hair of yesteryear. Go forth and regrow!

[lapushka]

Oh yes - just had my regular check up a month ago and i'm in perfect health, thyroid, iron - everything is fine.

Oh that's good to know. I didn't mean to confuse you with my question. I just misunderstood you. I thought you were saying it was due to the hard water. Sorry 'bout that!

[Thumper]

Oh that's good to know. I didn't mean to confuse you with my question. I just misunderstood you. I thought you were saying it was due to the hard water. Sorry 'bout that!

No worries - I'm not the best at describing exactly what is going on at times myself!