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Blondieee
October 30th, 2015, 01:37 AM
Hey everyone! I've been trying to decide which hair color I want for a while now. Once I make a decision, I change my mind again. I was born a blonde and when I was younger it was dirty blonde. As I got older, it turned light brown but before I started doing color to it, it looked dirty blonde in the sun. I went blonde a few years ago and it was a bad job so I couldn't really tell if I actually liked it. And then I went darker and it looked good but the color looked chocolate/reddish brown in some pictures which I didn't like and the cut was bad. It's like she cut my hair into a million layers. I haven't applied color to my hair in a couple years and I've been dealing with some health problems so I didn't want to color it. But my new hairstylist did tell me if I go blonde, he can use dye and it will be okay even though I've been dealing with thinning hair. It's still thin but I am starting to see some flyaways. He just doesn't want to use bleach on it since that thins out even healthy hair a little bit. But I can't get my hair done if I can't ever make a decision. I can't decide between blonde hair (I want dirty blonde hair like I had, not bleach blonde and no roots. I want it to look like I have naturally blonde hair) and dark brown hair. By dark brown hair, I don't mean black or almost black. I mean like the hair color Angelina Jolie has. I've also thought about the idea of dark brown hair with some highlights so it won't look like it's been dyed like how Angelina Jolie has her hair in this picture.
http://i65.tinypic.com/2mnkxsj.jpg

But I can't make a decision and it's driving me crazy! Once I decide on one color, I change my mind a couple days later. I know this might sound ridiculous but I do value the opinion of guys and what they like. Now obviously if they like something and I don't, I'm not going to do that. For example, if a guy I'm interested in likes curly hair, I'm not wearing it like that because I don't like it. I like curling iron curls so I might curl it occasionally but I'm not wearing natural curls because I don't like that and don't have confidence with it. But when it comes to color, I like both hair colors. I think both hair colors are beautiful so their opinion does matter to me. And I'm in college and it appears like more brunettes are in relationships and that the brunettes are getting the attractive guys. I know this may sound shallow and trust me, I'm not a shallow person at all but looks do matter in a relationship and I keep seeing over and over on Facebook in my news feed blondes with unattractive guys. And the brunettes are getting the attractive nice guys that they are settling down with which makes me wonder if guys prefer brunettes for long-term relationships/marriage which is what I'm looking for. And I know you may think college guys are just looking for fun. Some of them are but a lot of them are not and are genuine and are looking to find someone and settle down. So if I were to go blonde and the guys who are going to be interested are either going to be unattractive or going to be looking for a fling, I should just dye it brown. And I do find that some of my friends who are blonde gets messages on Facebook (Nothing wrong with this, I met my ex on Facebook) from guys who are either not very attractive or are basically losers and by that I mean not nice guys. Does this happen to all girls and the brunettes just ignore messages from those kinds of guys and wait for the good guys? I did take a survey at my university online and a lot of people said that more brunettes seem to be in relationships and there were quite a few blonde girls who said they've been single for a while and don't really get approached. So I don't know what color to dye my hair. I just know I don't like my current color which is light brown. I don't know if the blonde is going to be really unhealthy for my hair if my hairstylist uses dye instead of bleach or is your hair okay if you use blonde dye? I don't know if dark brown hair is going to look unnatural on me and wash me out. I have a slight tan during summer but am pale during winter. Also, one more thing to consider. I don't know exactly how to word this but there's this guy that I like a lot and I'm just going to have to be honest about the situation because I don't know how else to ask my question. He is super sweet and nice and genuine and just amazing. And yes, I met him in person and he goes to my school so he is who he says he is and everything but I met him under a fake account on Facebook before I met him in person (please don't judge) and the girl in the pictures was a brunette. We both fell for each other really hard and he keeps looking for girls with similar names to me trying to recreate what we had. He is looking for that connection that we had and he hasn't found it. The girl he dated after that had the same name as the girl on the profile but it didn't last. He doesn't have a hair color preference. He has dated both blondes and brunettes although mostly brunettes. I know when I meet him again we will click right away because there is that connection but I'm wondering if I have a better chance as a brunette. I'm thinking maybe if he sees that connection and that long brown hair, he will think she's the one. So those are my thoughts. I really need advice on which hair color to choose. Thanks in advance!

Blondieee
October 30th, 2015, 02:00 AM
Also another thing I want to add is when my hair is lighter, I constantly get compared to Scarlett Johanssen and although some people might take it as a compliment, I find it kinda insulting. When my hair is brown, I don't get compared to her. So that's another thing to think about. I feel like blonde hair softens features though and I seem to look sweeter with blonde hair.

Alex Lou
October 30th, 2015, 02:21 AM
Oh my...

I think you're going to have the most success with guys just being yourself and not worrying about if they like blondes or brunettes. Speaking of which, I hope you told this guy you're interested in about the fake FB account. Imagine if you do meet him and have a successful relationship. This kind of thing will come out eventually. Long term relationships are founded on trust, and you don't want to sabotage that trust before the real relationship even begins.

But objectively, I have read that men are more likely to marry brunettes even if they date blondes:
http://jezebel.com/5992153/stupid-study-about-hair-color-suggests-than-men-want-to-marry-women-with-serious-brown-hair
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/03/25/men-marry-brunettes_n_2948696.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1081532/Men-prefer-blondes-girlfriends--marry-brunette.html

Also, you don't get a lighter hair color than your natural color without damaging your hair. So going blonde will damage your hair.

diddiedaisy
October 30th, 2015, 02:54 AM
Wow.....

I agree with Blondieee, you should be yourself. You should pick your hair colour based on what you like and what suits your colouring.

I'm a natural blonde who went darker in my twenties, I spent my thirties hating my darker colour as it didn't suit my skin tone. I was always to lazy to dye. About four years ago I took the plunge and went back to blonde. I immediately felt like I was looking at myself again in the mirror. I love it. It makes me feel like me.

You could go get the best of both worlds by dying brunette and have some chunky blonette highlights put through.

Ps as a blonde I had some very good looking boyfriends and married one of them. It boils down to you, confidence and a great sense of humour and humility goes a long way. A couple of stunning brunettes I know are still alone at 40 because they are all about themselves and very fake in their personalities, and know matter how good you look, you still need a nice personality to bag your man!!

Nique1202
October 30th, 2015, 04:29 AM
I don't have any suggestions on your hair colour specifically, because that's your choice and will depend on what you think looks best on you. I do have a suggestion to stop trying to make yourself into some man's ideal image. Find your own self-image, figure out what you like best, and let the right man come to you in his own time, someone who will accept you and not accuse you of faking or lying about your appearance when he sees the roots of your hair growing in or whatever.

There are LOTS of men in the world, and lots of men looking for serious, stable relationships, and they ALL have different preferences. Some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like redheads, some like skinny girls, some like bigger girls, some like their girls to be in between. Even if you're interested in someone, faking your appearance to look one way for now or for the rest of your life just to keep him happy is sacrificing a big part of your own happiness and comfort. Be the person YOU think looks best, whether that's blonde or brunette, whether that's naked-faced or you spend an hour getting your contouring just right in the morning. The right man for you will show up eventually and love you for your best self, not the self you think he'll want you to be.

lapushka
October 30th, 2015, 04:43 AM
I don't have any suggestions on your hair colour specifically, because that's your choice and will depend on what you think looks best on you. I do have a suggestion to stop trying to make yourself into some man's ideal image. Find your own self-image, figure out what you like best, and let the right man come to you in his own time, someone who will accept you and not accuse you of faking or lying about your appearance when he sees the roots of your hair growing in or whatever.

Amen!

Anything you do to your hair or self-image, do it for you or it will come to bite you on the butt.

Amenahh
October 30th, 2015, 05:18 AM
I agree with the previous posts about just finding what you like and being yourself.

In my opinion, looks don't matter much in a long term relationship. Even if you sometimes get interested in someone because of looks, that will never keep you in the relationship long term, because you can only fall in love with someone's personality and soul.

Even if looks mattered, hair colour is such an unimportant thing. All hair colours are beautiful and everyone has a different preference (as has been mentioned before). But it doesn't really matter.
Generally, i like dark hair and eyes on guys, but i dated a blond because i liked him. Hair colour was so unimportant.

To sum up, the right guy will never love you for your hair colour so just choose whatever suits you best :)

Eiderduck
October 30th, 2015, 05:38 AM
Be yourself - find your own beauty, in you, for you.

The right man will love every streak of gray, every wrinkle, and every imperfection.

Mimha
October 30th, 2015, 06:16 AM
Good Lord !...

If you want to find "the good one", start being fully yourself first. If a guy is attracted by a "false you", you'll have to lie with yourself and pretend (dye your hair, don't forget your makeup, play a role, etc.) all your life in fear of him to discover that you are not the one he thought !

parkmikii
October 30th, 2015, 06:19 AM
Agreeing with what everyone else said, be yourself. I'm sure he would feel a bit cheated on if he falls in love with something you are not and I think it can only end in a break up that way.

spidermom
October 30th, 2015, 09:04 AM
I agree - take what you think guys like out of the equation. When you feel comfortable in your own skin, you'll be more attractive.

jeanniet
October 30th, 2015, 09:26 AM
Men like real. Everyone has preferences, but that doesn't mean they marry them because personality trumps everything. As far as connecting with the guy from FB, if it happens you need to bite the bullet and find a way to tell him the truth and hope he accepts your explanation. Relationships built on lies aren't real, and when he finds out on his own it won't be pretty. Be honest and be yourself--which means picking a hair color simply because you like it.

Amahaitz
October 30th, 2015, 10:41 AM
The right guy will like YOU. He may have a preference for something that's different from what you have (my husband "always had a thing for brunettes" --his exact words), but he married a blonde and thinks I am beautiful. I agree with others that you should figure out what you like and do that. The right person will like it too.

MsPharaohMoan
October 30th, 2015, 10:51 AM
If a guy ever decides 'she's the one' based on my hair, I'd run like hell.

Sarahlabyrinth
October 30th, 2015, 10:53 AM
Men marry for personality and honesty, rather than hair colour. That is a wonderful thing because it means that you can have the hair color YOU like best, and the right man will still come along and love you for you - not what you look like. Which is also wonderful because if he loves you for your personality, it won't matter to him when you go grey and get wrinkles and lose your looks. Looks are temporary, personality is permanent. Actually, I am of the opinion that wrinkles and grey hair add character....

meteor
October 30th, 2015, 11:04 AM
I've been trying to decide which hair color I want for a while now. Once I make a decision, I change my mind again. [...]
I haven't applied color to my hair in a couple years and I've been dealing with some health problems so I didn't want to color it. But my new hairstylist did tell me if I go blonde, he can use dye and it will be okay even though I've been dealing with thinning hair. It's still thin but I am starting to see some flyaways. He just doesn't want to use bleach on it since that thins out even healthy hair a little bit. But I can't get my hair done if I can't ever make a decision.

Based on this, I wouldn't recommend permanent dyeing or bleaching. Maybe a deposit-only temporary dye would be OK since it's not really damaging (and low commitment), but if you are dealing with thinning hair and fragile hair strands, it's better to stay far away from bleach/peroxide/developer and enjoy your natural hair color. :flower:

If you feel like experimenting with different colors, wigs in different colors are probably safer and would allow you to choose the color you would enjoy in the long run. :)

Best of luck! :)

diamond_storm
October 30th, 2015, 11:35 AM
Oh........ Just want to second everything everyone else has said!!

If I were you, I would ditch the worrying about what other people think and choose the color I want. Also, you might want to think about what color takes less maintenance since you're in college and certain colors cost more for upkeep and have to be redone frequently.

As for the 'guy situation'........ Think about yourself for a moment. Do you have a preference in hair color on men? Some people do, some people don't. Personally, I prefer darker hair on men. If you asked my best friend the same question, she would have a different answer. If you asked 10 women on the street, I'm sure you would get many different answers. Men are all individuals, just like women. And just like women, they all have their own preference (or, just like women, they may have no preference at all). I'm a straight haired brunette. My ex boyfriend preferred brunettes and he used to LOVE when I curled my hair. My now husband loves blonde, straight hair. Even so, that in no way makes or breaks our relationship. He may think blonde hair is the most interesting (he is Chinese and since he didn't see a lot of blonde hair growing up, he thinks it's really cool :)) and he says he thinks it looks the best when I don't curl my hair, but he still likes me for who I am. And quite frankly, if he had tried to get me to change my hair just to please him I would have dropped everything and ran in the opposite direction. Likewise, if I met a guy who ONLY liked me for what my hair looked like, I would be getting out of there as soon as possible as well.

My point is, just be yourself. The right person will like you for who you are and won't try (or want!!) to change you. Someone who does want to change you isn't someone you want to be with in the long run anyway, trust me :) Best of luck!! <3

Blondieee
October 31st, 2015, 12:16 AM
Thank you everyone for all the advice! I really appreciate it! :)

I know I shouldn't care what guys think at all but it is easier said than done especially when I saw a gorgeous brunette at the grocery store today with a hunk on her arm. The thing is I can't decide which color I like best because I like them both. So maybe I should just go with the color that would look best on me…can you guys help me decide which color would look best on me please? There are certain hair colors that just suit certain people like I can't imagine Angelina Jolie as a blonde and I can't imagine Carrie Underwood as a brunette. The hair colors they have suit their features and look flattering on them. But I don't know which color would look best on me. I will say if I go brunette I am worried about PPD. I have a severe fear of it. I will have my hairstylist put the dye in foils but I would still be exposed to it when he rinses it off. And although I wouldn't do permanent dye right now, I would want to eventually and I've heard permanent dye has more PPD and also makes you go grey faster. Another thing I've noticed about blondes is a lot of them seem to have either extensions or short hair whereas most brunettes have their natural hair and it is long and I wonder if it is because the hair can't grow very long and breaks off a lot when it keeps being bleached. The thing I like more than anything is long hair. I like length to be below the chest. And a lot of my blonde friends have very short hair. And I'm not wanting to get extensions, I want my natural hair. So I value length above anything and I want to do a lot of heat styling. So flat ironing, waves, curling iron curls, etc. I feel pretty when I heat style my hair and I feel confident with that. I know it's not the healthiest for your hair but a lot of stuff we do to our hair isn't healthy to it.

Here's a picture of me and my natural hair color. I don't like my natural color. I know it doesn't look that bad in this lighting but it's just the lighting, trust me. Normally it's a mix of light brown/red/blonde and just looks terrible and is not flattering at all. So I don't know if my features are better suited for blonde or brown hair and which one would look better on me. So please let me know what you think. Thank you! :)

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=35lsoau&s=9#.VjRZTUv41g0

Blondieee
October 31st, 2015, 12:27 AM
Here’s a couple other pictures of me with different hair colors do you can see how they looked. This is a picture of when I was a brunette. It was a light brown color but this lighting makes it look dark so you can see how I look with dark brown hair.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2cgm1z9&s=9#.VjRdxkv41g0

I’ve only went blonde once and I didn’t have a good blonde job but this is one picture where it started to grow out and blended nicely with my brown so a dirty blonde color.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=famo0h&s=9#.VjRexkv41g0

Nique1202
October 31st, 2015, 04:15 AM
Three short points:

-You can go non-damaging with going darker, but there is no way to lighten hair that doesn't damage it, so if you plan to grow or keep your hair long (you don't list a current or specific goal length anywhere) then the lighter you go, the less likely you are to make it.

-Permanent dye doesn't make you go "grey" or white haired faster, because white hair is based on your genes and stress levels.

-Pictures don't always have the right lighting or colour balance to show strangers on the internet what the colour really looks like against your skin in person.

-Only you can say what colour you like best on yourself. Whether this means that you have to stare at those old pictures until your eyes get sore, or you experiment with new shades of colour until you find the one you want to stick with, this really should be your decision alone, not anybody else's, because you're the one looking for your best inner and outer self.

Also, if you don't mind my asking, what's wrong with your natural colour in your opinion? Is it too dark, too light? That will help you decide for yourself what colour to go with, or maybe you can learn to love your natural colour and work with the cut and style options instead of the colour to make yourself feel more attractive. Your natural colour sounds beautiful, to me. All that natural dimension and tone, people pay a lot of money for highlights and lowlights to get a mixed hair colour effect. Why do you think it's not flattering? (This isn't necessarily a question for you to answer here, but something that I'd really encourage you to think about while making your choice.)

The world's your oyster, but it has to start with you making your choices for your own reasons. Relying on the input of other people is still forming yourself into what other people say they find attractive but literally every single one of the 7 billion people on this planet has a different opinion. I think this is a good time for you to stop and look at why you like or don't like things about your appearance as it is and work to make yourself into your most beautiful self and gain the confidence that comes from being 100% genuinely you.

lapushka
October 31st, 2015, 05:08 AM
I'd go with your natural hair color - seems the best, especially if you have a hard time deciding and need the opinion of total strangers. ;) :p

Amenahh
October 31st, 2015, 06:47 AM
I would go with your natural hair colour as well. I think it's really nice.
If you want long hair, you need to try to cause as little damage as possible. And if you're so undecided, you might end up changing your mind a lot and dyeing it multiple times.
Plus it's just easier that way.

dancingrain91
October 31st, 2015, 09:19 AM
I would not dye it yet. Not as indecisive as you are. Your hair looks pretty to me and the fact that under some lighting it is unflattering is pretty normal. I feel like most people's hair changes color in different lighting, but blondes and lighter brunettes might feel the difference. So here is my hair a bit dirty and not combed, but under different lighting so you can see how I feel about my color.

http://imgur.com/a/Bt7nV

I tend to prefer my hair under one kind of lighting that I'm rarely under. But I like my color in the sunlight so I tend to think of it that way. It makes it easier to not dye it. Especially since when I did bleach it it still looked best under only certain lights and the rest of the time it looked either bad or not it's best.

spidermom
October 31st, 2015, 11:06 AM
You can go darker without damaging your hair or using PPD formula. Try a deposit-only formula. If it turns out to not suit you, no worries. It will gradually fade back to your natural color.

Natural color is, of course, the easiest.

Alex Lou
October 31st, 2015, 06:39 PM
I think it's fine to ask other people's opinions about what suits you. It's often hard to judge what looks best on yourself.

I like the photos of you best with your natural color and with brown hair. Plus going blonde will damage your hair and jeopardize your goals of having long, healthy hair.

I also think you could use a dose of the Blonette pride thread:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=80416

Deborah
October 31st, 2015, 09:06 PM
I like your natural color best. I think your face looks prettier with the natural tone.

Blondieee
October 31st, 2015, 09:19 PM
Thanks everyone! I don't see how I'm relying on other people's inputs. I'm just asking what hair color looks best on me. Everyone has their color and I'm just asking what mine is. I don't see what's wrong with that.

I will say that even though I have difficulty deciding between blonde and brown, I do know for sure that I don't like my natural color. I've never been happy and confident with it. Of course there's nothing wrong with being blonette or having multiple hair colors but I don't like mine. That picture was one of the best pictures I've taken in a while and my hair happened to look good in that picture. And even in that picture, I would still want either dirty blonde or dark brown. I think everyone should have the hair color they feel confident with. I do agree that blonde would be really damaging. And when I had straight brown hair, I was really confident. I can ask my hair stylist to do a deposit only hair color. Is that demi-permanent? I've had demi-permanent color before and it still has PPD.

Blondieee
October 31st, 2015, 09:36 PM
This is how my natural hair color actually looks. Probably some of the weird coloring at the bottom is from leftover bleach mixed with dye from years ago. But I just don't like it at all and I'm not confident with it.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=fxb9s7&s=9#.VjWH7WS9Kc0

And here's another picture of me with brown hair. It wasn't as dark as I wanted it but I was really happy and confident. I look like I'm glowing.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2z3qcly&s=9#.VjWIfmS9Kc0

dancingrain91
October 31st, 2015, 10:43 PM
This is how my natural hair color actually looks. Probably some of the weird coloring at the bottom is from leftover bleach mixed with dye from years ago. But I just don't like it at all and I'm not confident with it.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=fxb9s7&s=9#.VjWH7WS9Kc0

And here's another picture of me with brown hair. It wasn't as dark as I wanted it but I was really happy and confident. I look like I'm glowing.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2z3qcly&s=9#.VjWIfmS9Kc0

Of course you should have a color you are happy and confident with. It seems to me like you are leaning heavily toward brunette so I would go darker (it won't turn you prematurely grey). The only thing that gives me pause is how you seem to believe this is what will land you a relationship and as others have said this is only going to cause more pain in the end if it isn't true to you.

Blondieee
November 1st, 2015, 01:37 AM
Yes I am leaning more toward brunette. Are you sure permanent hair dye doesn't make you go prematurely grey? The reason I'm asking is cause I've not only read it on several sites but my mom never dyed her hair until she started going grey. She had slight grey strands but still a good amount of brown mixed in when she started using permanent dye. After she got it done, not only did she feel like her scalp was cooking underneath her head (and it wasn't a PPD reaction cause she used Shades EQ with no problem) but when her roots grew out she was completely grey when she was only a little grey before. I do agree that a certain hair color doesn't land someone a relationship but if you have confidence with a certain hair color that will attract people and I'm sure guys can pick up on insecurity (from not liking my hair color although they don't know that).

Also another thing I wanted to ask about...When I was younger, I had dirty blonde hair. My hair turned brown when I got older which is normal and happens to practically all blondes. My hair looked a pretty brown color inside, almost dark brown which is what I love. And it looked so long and beautiful on me. That was around 13-14. Then around 17, my health started going downhill. And looking at pictures from when I was 18, my hair just looks red in pictures. It's a reddish brown color but mostly red. I do not like it at all. And it's all shriveled up and short. It has no length. I wonder if there is a correlation between this. The health problems I'm going through are complex and are only understood by functional medicine doctors. But they can cause all kinds of strange symptoms. Like I've read about people who weren't able to tan well because of it even though they could tan well in the past and then once they got better, they got their tan back. So I don't know if the hair is a symptom of it too or related to something else. But now I know why brown hair dye looks so good on me. Because I had brown hair!! I've seen about 4 pictures of myself around 13-14 and my hair was brown. No red at all. And both my parents have brown hair. My dad is bald but he had brown hair. I'm just so mad that I lost my brown hair! I know something had to cause it. If it's not health related, it could be hard water. We moved (although not far) when I was around 15. But we do have a water softener and it does run out of salt occasionally but most of the time we stay on top of it. Any ideas? I would hate to keep dying my hair brown when I had brown hair!

Alex Lou
November 1st, 2015, 02:48 AM
It is possible that your illness caused your hair to become reddish, for example if it caused you to have a deficiency in protein absorption. Or, it could just be a natural change in your hair color based on your genetics.

The thing about the story with your mom and hair dye, is that it is anecdotal evidence. We can't draw any conclusions from something that happened to one person because her hair may have become rapidly gray for any number of reasons not having to do with the dye. When looking up information like this, you want to make sure that the sources have evidence to back up the claims and aren't just wive's tales and anecdotal evidence themselves.

Amenahh
November 1st, 2015, 03:27 AM
Ok, if you really don't like your natural haircolour, i'd go with brunette as well.
You can do a semi permanent one at first, so if you change your mind, it's not permanent.
Blonde would damage your hair more.

dancingrain91
November 1st, 2015, 05:39 AM
Your health can affect the length and health of your hair and possibly the color, though deficiencies can certainly affect the color. The other possibility is that your hair color changed based on your genetics. Both of my parents have dark brown hair but at 23 I'm still a blonde because my grandmother was blondette until she began greying. I inherited her hair color, my great grandmother's bone structure and only a few things from my parents.

Your mother was already greying when she began dyeing her hair. My mother went nearly completely grey fast. Seemingly overnight. Yet my father has had a few grey hairs for about five years now and they're barely multiplying. These things seem to have a range that is likely inherited or influenced by stress or malnutrition. Dyeing your hair is not on the list for causes of grey hair so I am confident in the lack of evidence. Use a cheating shampoo if you think mineral buildup is affecting your color.

Dye your hair if you want to. Do not expect a "hunk" of a boyfriend to magically appear from this. Not because of the color of your hair or because of your confidence. You seem very young. A boyfriend will come in time if it's in the cards for you and his personality is what you will have to live with. Many of my friends got desperate and jumped the gun and they are now regretting it. I hated this advice as a teenager but I ended up in a terrible relationship, ruined several friendships and have to live with regrets for not listening to it. I dated a "hunk" and was never happy because your partner's looks won't keep you warm at night.

meteor
November 1st, 2015, 01:00 PM
I will say that even though I have difficulty deciding between blonde and brown, I do know for sure that I don't like my natural color. I've never been happy and confident with it. Of course there's nothing wrong with being blonette or having multiple hair colors but I don't like mine. That picture was one of the best pictures I've taken in a while and my hair happened to look good in that picture. And even in that picture, I would still want either dirty blonde or dark brown. I think everyone should have the hair color they feel confident with. I do agree that blonde would be really damaging. And when I had straight brown hair, I was really confident. I can ask my hair stylist to do a deposit only hair color. Is that demi-permanent? I've had demi-permanent color before and it still has PPD.

No, it should be a true "semi", not demi. If you want to avoid damage, make sure it doesn't have a developer/peroxide. I think deposit-only, direct dye can give you the shade you want temporarily.


This is how my natural hair color actually looks. Probably some of the weird coloring at the bottom is from leftover bleach mixed with dye from years ago. But I just don't like it at all and I'm not confident with it.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=fxb9s7&s=9#.VjWH7WS9Kc0

And here's another picture of me with brown hair. It wasn't as dark as I wanted it but I was really happy and confident. I look like I'm glowing.

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2z3qcly&s=9#.VjWIfmS9Kc0

If these colors are true to life (of course, a lot depends on light, camera and even surrounding colors on pictures), I would imagine that you can achieve the color you want with a simple toner? :hmm: It looks like all that's necessary is to tone down the redness, make it more ashy/cool... It looks like it might be the same level, just ashier?
Anyway, I'd bring the pictures of the exact desired shade to your appointment with a colorist, if that's what you want.


Also another thing I wanted to ask about...When I was younger, I had dirty blonde hair. My hair turned brown when I got older which is normal and happens to practically all blondes. My hair looked a pretty brown color inside, almost dark brown which is what I love. And it looked so long and beautiful on me. That was around 13-14. Then around 17, my health started going downhill. And looking at pictures from when I was 18, my hair just looks red in pictures. It's a reddish brown color but mostly red. I do not like it at all. And it's all shriveled up and short. It has no length. I wonder if there is a correlation between this. The health problems I'm going through are complex and are only understood by functional medicine doctors. But they can cause all kinds of strange symptoms. Like I've read about people who weren't able to tan well because of it even though they could tan well in the past and then once they got better, they got their tan back. So I don't know if the hair is a symptom of it too or related to something else. But now I know why brown hair dye looks so good on me. Because I had brown hair!! I've seen about 4 pictures of myself around 13-14 and my hair was brown. No red at all. And both my parents have brown hair. My dad is bald but he had brown hair. I'm just so mad that I lost my brown hair! I know something had to cause it. If it's not health related, it could be hard water. We moved (although not far) when I was around 15. But we do have a water softener and it does run out of salt occasionally but most of the time we stay on top of it. Any ideas? I would hate to keep dying my hair brown when I had brown hair!

Yes, medication, hormones, health conditions... can change the quality of hair - color and texture (curl/wave pattern and diameter of strands), for example.

Have you tried chelating shampoos? It could be that there is some mineral build-up on your hair that makes it look more reddish than you are used to? (Iron in water is notorious for that, for example).
There are lots of chelating shampoos out there, Redken Cleansing Cream shampoo, Lanza Ultimate Treatment Chelating shampoo, Kenra Clarifying, Joico Clarifying, UltraSwim, Ion, Pantene Damage Detox, etc...
Alternatively, experimenting with citric acid rinse can help.
If the redness doesn't budge at all after chelating, I'd go the toner/deposit-only dye route, if that color makes you happy. HTH! :flower:

Blondieee
November 2nd, 2015, 12:33 AM
I'm just going to do a really quick reply before I go to bed and I'll be on tomorrow. Thank you everyone for all your help! :)

Can I ask if I can use demi-permanent hair color like Shades EQ? The reason I ask is even though all hair dye is damaging for the most part, this dye although it sounds hard to believe made my hair super healthy looking. It grew like a weed. My hair always grows slow. Always. But it's like it made it so healthy on the outside that my hair grew really fast. Does healthy hair grow faster than unhealthy hair? Not only that, but I didn't get tangles. The comb went right through my hair like butter. This effect from the dye lasted a couple months. I get tangles so bad now that my hair mats together and that causes more hair loss. So since I am losing hair from health problems, wouldn't it be okay and even possible a good idea to use the Shades EQ (even just once) to get it to grow fast again and not have any tangles? Because tangles causes breakage which equals more hair loss. And the tangles are health related I believe which I'm working on right now. And I wouldn't have my stylist put the dye on my scalp. The color they use matches my scalp so I don't get a line of demarcation or anything. I would just ask my stylist to put the dye from midshaft to ends.

Btw a couple iron related questions. Can low ferritin cause tangles and make your hair really dry? I know it's for sure related to another health problem I have going on but I'm just wondering if the low iron is contributing. Also what is considered a good ferritin level? All the doctors I've been to have said 50 but my hairline started receding above 50. I've heard 70-80 is ideal and I don't feel comfortable with a ferritin level above 80 but I'm worried about some stuff I've read like where someone was iron deficient and took iron and their iron became too high and they got cancer. And apparently some studies show that anything above 50 causes oxidation. But I would just feel more comfortable around 70. I know men have higher ferritin levels than women but having a ferritin level of 100 (not that I want this but just as an example) doesn't seem to be bad for their health. But every doctor keeps saying at least 50 so it's making me think 50 is acceptable. What is your ferritin level at everyone if you don't mind me asking?

LadyCelestina
November 2nd, 2015, 04:15 AM
I just logged in to say your posts are sooo incredibly cute,you sound like if you were a character from a 19th century novel :o

Blondieee
November 2nd, 2015, 08:57 AM
I just logged in to say your posts are sooo incredibly cute,you sound like if you were a character from a 19th century novel :o

Thanks :) I'm not sure what you mean though lol

spidermom
November 2nd, 2015, 10:45 AM
Questions about acceptable ferritin levels are something to settle with your doctor. The normal range can vary from lab to lab based on the calibration of the equipment used. Me telling you what is normal for my local lab won't help you.

Do try a semi-permanent dye first. I don't want to see a post like "OMG; this is too dark! I hate it! How do I get it out?" With a semi-permanent, you aren't stuck with it if it doesn't suit you. I can tell you absolutely for sure that dye is not responsible for healthy hair, although it's entirely possible that you got benefit from the way it coated the hair shaft and filled in any areas where the cuticle was disrupted. Any dye should do the same (but not bleach or peroxide, which is what would be used to go blonde).

lapushka
November 2nd, 2015, 11:26 AM
Do try a semi-permanent dye first. I don't want to see a post like "OMG; this is too dark! I hate it! How do I get it out?" With a semi-permanent, you aren't stuck with it if it doesn't suit you. I can tell you absolutely for sure that dye is not responsible for healthy hair, although it's entirely possible that you got benefit from the way it coated the hair shaft and filled in any areas where the cuticle was disrupted. Any dye should do the same (but not bleach or peroxide, which is what would be used to go blonde).

+ the conditioners that usually come along with these dyes are packed full of silicones and smooth out the hair considerably. :)

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 12:15 AM
Thanks everyone! I’m glad you guys believe me about the dye. People normally think I’m crazy when I say that lol the conditioners and silicones as well as coating the hair shaft makes a lot of sense! I will say though that I use products that have silicones and nothing makes my hair feel as soft and healthy as the Shades EQ so it would be really nice if they could put that combination of ingredients in a product available over the counter because I love it!

As far as the redness in my hair, I’ve noticed (even in pictures from years ago) that my hair grows out brown at the roots and then turns red. So that can’t be genetics right? I don’t want to try a chelating shampoo right now just because my hair is so thin from health issues and those are known for being really harsh. What mineral deficiencies can cause a red tint to the hair? Is iron deficiency known for doing that? As far as going gray earlier because of malnutrition, should I be taking a multivitamin or should I just take specific vitamins I need? What vitamins/minerals should I focus on?

When I was asking about acceptable ferritin levels, I wasn’t talking about the range. Those ranges are ridiculous! My lab says a ferritin level of 5 is okay because it’s “in range.” I meant where you like to keep your ferritin level at. Like I know some women probably feel comfortable keeping it at 50 while some women strive for 70-80 so I was just asking because it seems like my hairline started receding at 50 and I think I might need more than 50 but I’ve read oxidation can happen beyond 50 and lead to cancer and stuff like that so I’m worried.

I have another question but I think I’m starting to get off topic so I’ll start another post about it. Please be sure to look for it. I really value your opinions. :)

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 12:51 AM
Also, if I do change my mind and decide to go blonde, my hair stylist says my natural hair color is light enough to use blonde dye and not bleach. Will blonde dye have all these silicones and still have the same moisturizing effect or not as much since you're lightening the hair and stripping it of moisture and protein?

lapushka
November 14th, 2015, 04:35 AM
Dye always has bleach in it (peroxide developer). The lighter you want to go, the more % your developer will be - so it makes little to no difference.

Blondieee
November 14th, 2015, 11:56 PM
So brown hair dye has bleach too, it's just that blonde dye has a lot more? Blonde hair regardless of bleach or dye will always be more damaging than brown?

dancingrain91
November 15th, 2015, 08:46 AM
As far as the redness in my hair, Iíve noticed (even in pictures from years ago) that my hair grows out brown at the roots and then turns red. So that canít be genetics right? I donít want to try a chelating shampoo right now just because my hair is so thin from health issues and those are known for being really harsh. What mineral deficiencies can cause a red tint to the hair? Is iron deficiency known for doing that? As far as going gray earlier because of malnutrition, should I be taking a multivitamin or should I just take specific vitamins I need? What vitamins/minerals should I focus on? :)

That could definitely be genetic if your brown hair has a lot of red naturally. It sounds like your hair highlights to red tones rather than lighter brown or blonde tones. If it was a deficiency then you would notice the color at the root more than at the ends. If it was your water it would likely coat all of your hair.

lapushka
November 15th, 2015, 08:56 AM
So brown hair dye has bleach too, it's just that blonde dye has a lot more? Blonde hair regardless of bleach or dye will always be more damaging than brown?

Nope, brown dye can have a light developer and blonde can too, it just depends on your hair color and how much lighter you want to go. If you want to go too light and stray too far away from your natural color, the hairdresser will have to use straight up bleach to lighten the hair first, then tone it.