Help :(

[NapoleonDM]

I'm feeling so upset right now. :(
I need your help. Badly.

My sister was getting married (worse than any bridezilla) and said I had to have my hair like the other bridesmaids. I didn't want to look like the bad one and sucked it up, bc she told her friends I would ruin the wedding pictures.

The lady used the strongest hairspray bc I had such long hair. Then she used a hot curling iron for curls, followed by more hairspray.
I could hear it singe.
I asked her to turn down heat, she brushed me off.
Then she crammed in over 100 bobby pins, that were mangled mess getting out. Awful. The end result looked stiff spaghetti noodles/spider webs in all the girls hair. But the horror was after I washed it and it dried.

My hair is ruined. It feels dry and stiff. And brittle.

As lame as it sounds, I'm crying. It took me over 15 years to get it this long and in one night is ruined. ;(

What do I do to prevent more breakage? Is there anything I can do before I give up and have to chop it all off?
I feel upset just thinking about this. My aunts are both upset looking at my hair bc they saw it.

I had regular rollers with me, without heat, and my sister wouldn't let me use them.

I already have fine hair, but it was HEALTHY and beautiful, bc I let it be, and I was gentle.

My sister on the other hand has fried, bleached hair that is broken off into a half bob length and sparse. She also takes diet pills to keep herself underweight, which kept her hair from growing past shoulder length.

She told me for the wedding, I had to wear my hair up because she didn't want any focus on me.
And that was fine with me.

She's the type of person that if someone gives me a compliment, she bad mouths me right after. I dont mind laying low or staying away from her at this point.

If she saw my hair like this right now, it would make her happy. And that's what hurts even more.

She knew I loved my hair.

Is there anything I can do to try to save it?

What products?
Super conditioners? I have never done anything to my hair that was bad, so never had a problem before.

My normal routine is just a little shampoo on the roots, and then Loreal Natures therapy.

[cathair]

:grouphug: try not to panic, it might feel more normal after a few washes. Perhaps all the hairspray isn't out if it still feels stiff? I would oil and condition it tons if I were in your shoes, but I am sure someone will be along with more specific advice.

[NapoleonDM]

Thank you. I'm just so sad at this moment about my hair. :(

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Try some deep conditioning and moisturising treatments, be gentle with your hair, maybe try some oiling, and see how that goes. I'm sorry your hair had to suffer this way.

[luxurioushair]

I'm not an expert, but start deep conditioning with a plastic cap/plastic bag, do it overnight, the whole works. Use conditioner, oil, a mask or whatever you have.

I don't think shampoo is good for your hair at this time, so shelve it for the next few months at least.

I'm sure your hair can be returned to some normalcy but start getting moisture in there as soon as possible.

[Seventy7]

Aww, that does sound horrible! Hugs to you for being the good sister and doing what the bride wants.

I'm sure one time curling shouldn't completely ruin your hair, so don't even think about chopping yet!

It is really likely your hair needs a bit more TLC now than you're used to.
I expect other people to join in on here with great tips and experiences. An SMT would be a good start. Also a protein-treatment might improve the quality. What did your hair think of protein before?

I feel for you and hope your hair gets happy again soon!
Keep breathing and pamper your hair, you will be fine.

[two_wheels]

Don't freak out!
Try clarifying if you can't get the hairspray out :) neutrogena clarifying shampoo is popular here.
And lots of conditioner.
And overnight coconut oil is lovely too!

[parkmikii]

Definitely a deep conditioner. Also, does your hair handle protein treatments? There is the gelatin protein treatment from sciencey hair blog. But make sure to follow it with a deep moisturising treatment.
More than this I don't really know other than continue to baby it as before.. I am really sorry you bad to go through that :hugs:

[roman8]

This just happened to me but it was self induced and not on the same scale, i know that desperation. I think you can only do what you've learned, for the next while, moisture moisture moisture. Benign neglect as much as possible and deep conditioning, and absolutely minimal interference, I am tying my hair up and keeping it up for the foreseeable future. If you feel like a S&D session would put your mind at rest, you could do that. Don't do anything rash the now, some may feel like they want to do a huge chop, but let your hair settle and pamper it, and review in a few weeks. Hair always looks worse the day after. Make use of your natural oils, scalp massages, don't try rip through any tangles.
I deep conditioned twice for about 20 minutes and all my tangles slipped out without the use of a brush. Hang in there.

[eshta]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I can understand your sister wanting to be in the spotlight for her own wedding, but that doesn't give her the right to make that kind of decisions over your hair. She sounds more than a little jealous of your hair.

If they used that much and very strong hairspray maybe clarifying might help get rid of the stiff and dry feeling? I would follow up with a protein treatment if your hair like those to help with the brittle feeling and a SMT or other deep treatment with some added oil your hair likes for extra softness.

Please don't chop it off before trying some treatments :blossom:

[Platzhalter]

Try deep conditioning, clarifying and protein treatments - there doesn't seem to be much to lose any more, and I believe that it's worth a try to save at least some of your hair.
Your anger and sadness is understandable, especially since you did so much and hardly got any gratefulness for that. Not to mention that not stealing all the attention is one thing, but not allowing you to try doing it in a less harmful way is another.

[Eastbound&Down]

What is your hair type? I know you said thin, but is it wavy, curly, straight? Does it handle oils well? I would clarify and deep condition, let it rest and relax and recover. I'm sorry your sister demanded that from you, but you have our support.

[Amapola]

Could you explain your current hair care system? What you do and don't do? That might help to find something useful you are not doing right now.

My hair is super fine and fragile. I always have it up, even at night, I sleep on a satin pillow case, I don't sit or lean on my hair, I am slow and careful with detangling and so on and so forth. But without knowing what you already do, and the products, I'm not real sure what to recommend.

However I am sure that with time and care your hair will come back and be as lovely and beautiful as it was before. Try and stay calm, as hard as it is, keep your hair up if you don't normally, and give it the time it needs to recover. :flower:

[Llama]

It will start feeling healthy again after a few washes/conditions. Try not to worry about it.
The same thing happened to me a couple years ago. I had just started growing out my hair and hadn't done anything damaging to my hair for months. Then one day I curled my hair for an event and used hairspray. I about had a panic attack because my hair felt irreparably damaged. But that wasn't the case, just needed a week or so to start feeling silky again.

Don't let your sister bully you into doing something you don't want to do again!

[kaylenfalse]

In my experience, heavy hairsprays take some effort to get out. I'd agree with using some clarifying shampoo. Swishing your hair around in a warm bath and working the shampoo in bit by bit might help to dissolve it. Follow up with some good conditioning like everyone else has said. It has taken me up to a week to get all the hairspray out after some events. It will need a solvent, water will not be enough. Until it comes out, your hair is going to feel dry and tangle easily. I really think it will be okay in the end. Some people have reported washing their hair with beer, and the alcohol could help to dissolve the hairspray. So if that doesn't sound gross to you, that could be an option.

[Groovy Granny]

Oh my goodness :agape: :how terrible to be that hateful :nono:

Bless your dear :heart: but it is time to start setting healthy boundaries with her :patrol:

I have no ideas except to agree with the 'wait ~ pamper ~ don't panic' mode that everyone has suggested :thumbsup:
No need to cut ....until there is a need to cut!

You will get through this with our support ((((Hugs)))) Keep the faith :flowers:

[Nadine <3]

Clarify! Something really loaded in sulphates to remove all the product that was used. Follow up with a SMT. Baby it, maybe use some oil on the ends.

[lapushka]

First: breathe. DO NOT PANIC or you'll make things worse that probably aren't that bad.

It's "just" hairspray and it was once. That won't ruin your hair forever, even if it can take its toll on fine hair.

I'd clarify wash. A regular strong sulfate shampoo, wash twice if you need to. Then DEEP condition; or condition it twice if you don't have a deep conditioner handy.

Then re-assess the situation, and come back here and tell us more.

I'd also like to know what your regular routine is. :)

[sarahthegemini]

I would shampoo the crap out of it (literally haha :p) and then use a rich conditioner afterwards as well as a leave-in conditioner. Don't panic yet!

[NapoleonDM]

Thanks for the support. It means a lot right now. My sister has been crazy and extreme about the wedding. Not a very kind person. Very competitive and aggressive. I'm trying not to say too much on here about her, but I will say it’s been a nightmare, not just for me, but for my whole family being around her the last 8 months. She's behaved in ways that aren't ok.
I might need to vent to you bc I'm upset.

If I told her she wouldn't care, she would probably grin.

My aunts are both upset after seeing my hair today and said that lady and my sister never should have done what they did. It wasn't necessary.

It feels like straw. I feel like the elasticity is gone. My hair has always been like silk and very soft.
I do not over wash my hair, but had to wash it twice in 24 hours. Here’s what I have done so far:

I used a gentle shampoo last night (Nexxus therape) and then applied Loreal Natures Therapy.
That did *nothing*. I should have left it on longer but was exhausted and trying to be quiet for sleeping company.
I assume not enough of the hairspray came out. I was trying to be gentle. It still clogged up my drain from residue!


So, this morning, despite fear of washing it, I used a leave in as everyone said.

***First, I used Aussie "cleanse and mend" shampoo, because it seems gentle enough while hopefully strong enough to remove hair spray. I’m not sure it was strong enough to remove this cement from my hair, but it got a lot out.

Then for conditioner, I did a hair masque I found on here. I found an aloe plant growing in my back yard (yay!). I picked a leaf, and after it drained, I mixed it with **honey, **jojoba oil, and then added a giant glob of Loreal therapy & Aussie Moist conditioner (I don't use Aussie conditioner, but felt maybe it had something extra that would benefit at this point).

I applied saran wrap on head, and left on 45 mins (should have done it longer but got anxious). Rinsed out.

It feels 40% better. But still crispy in parts and frayed.

My hair has a course wiry feel to it that it never had before.

I’m scared of combing my hair bc it will snap off.

I have moments where I cry when I touch the back of my head and feel it, or look into a mirror. ;( All of it could be gone because of one day.
I will try to salvage it for a 1-3 months before making any crazy decisions.

I will need to apply more protective measures.

Is a braid at night still safe? What do you guys do that is super gentle?

Everything feels like it is tugging on my head. my scalp hurts. :(

I don't ever tie the ends of a braid before bed, so it's lose and comes out, but now I would like to keep it protected. What wont snag on my hair when I am out?

QUESTIONS:

Should I try to clarify it? Do I need to make sure I get the rest of hairspray out? or leave it alone?

What do you recommend?

I dont have a lot of harsh shampoo on hand except Aussie "Cleanse and mend", but can get a new shampoo.

I have not tried protein treatments yet. is that the stuff you buy in a packet at Sally's?

Tell me about this “Joico” deep treatment. Should I go pick it up? and use that from now on?

The lady who cuts my mom's hair, told me to try vinegar (1 part vinegar to 15 parts water to spray and leave in my hair overnight). I was too scared it would break off.




Try deep conditioning, clarifying and protein treatments - there doesn't seem to be much to lose any more, and I believe that it's worth a try to save at least some of your hair.
Your anger and sadness is understandable, especially since you did so much and hardly got any gratefulness for that. Not to mention that not stealing all the attention is one thing, ***but not allowing you to try doing it in a less harmful way is another.

This one.
It would have been fine and looked the same, without what she did. How my sister handled this was awful (along with other things I cant mention), and that's what I'm struggling with inside. Because she was so awful and cold.

[NapoleonDM]

This just happened to me but it was self induced and not on the same scale, i know that desperation. I think you can only do what you've learned, for the next while, moisture moisture moisture. Benign neglect as much as possible and deep conditioning, and absolutely minimal interference, I am tying my hair up and keeping it up for the foreseeable future. If you feel like a S&D session would put your mind at rest, you could do that. Don't do anything rash the now, some may feel like they want to do a huge chop, but let your hair settle and pamper it, and review in a few weeks. Hair always looks worse the day after. Make use of your natural oils, scalp massages, don't try rip through any tangles.
I deep conditioned twice for about 20 minutes and all my tangles slipped out without the use of a brush. Hang in there.

I can still hear and smell my hair being singed. Poor hair.

[NapoleonDM]

My hair is naturally straight, and each strand is what's considered fine.
But it's healthy and looks thick (I have good ends) and therefore it looks thick because I take care of it (or leave it alone I guess) if that makes sense?

Oils tend to make it look thinner on my scalp lol, I guess from grease?
I usually just use Loreal Natures therapy Mega Moisture from ears down.



What is your hair type? I know you said thin, but is it wavy, curly, straight? Does it handle oils well? I would clarify and deep condition, let it rest and relax and recover. I'm sorry your sister demanded that from you, but you have our support.

[Amapola]

Yeah, I would try and get all of that hairspray out before attempting serious detangling. You know, I use Suave Naturals shampoo for getting my hair really clean. It has sulfates, it's dirt cheap and you can get it pretty much anywhere. You should even be able to find a tiny travel bottle of it, so you don't have loads of stuff you don't need or use. Maybe use something like that to get rid of all the product in your hair. Then use a deep treatment. There is one they sell at Sally's called... let me think here... it's a Hair Science product. Oh yes! Bamboo Deep Strengthening Masque. I think you can even get a little packet of it, so you don't have to buy the whole jar. This stuff is loaded with cones... for me, with my very fine, fragile hair, this helps to protect it. And the nice thing is the Sauve will wash out the cones.

For my hair type, that works for me. Your hair could be different. But I would say for sure, get that hairspray out!

The other thing I would recommend is to get some spin pins and put your hair up on top of your head at night, so it does not rub as bad on the sheets and pillow. Put it up in a cinnabun or something, but obviously don't wind it very tight, just coil loosely. You can get spin pins at Sally's too. And maybe just finger-comb for now as that is very gentle.

It's good to hear that you had some progress! 40% better is moving in the right direction! You will get through this with your hair. With your sister? I have no idea. But I am sure your hair is going to be OK.

[MsPharaohMoan]

Clarifying means stripping everything off the surface of the hair's cuticle. I'd recommend this BEFORE attempting moisture treatments.

[spidermom]

I agree with clarifying. VO5, Suave, and White Rain all make clarifying shampoos that are cheap and work just fine. Sometimes you have to use it more than once, like the time my snake released musk in my hair. Puke!

Then do a deep treatment under plastic with a wool cap on your head to keep the heat in (or any other way you can think of to keep heat in).

I once thought I had ruined my hair by adding baking soda to my shampoo, but every day I'd get into the shower, work conditioner through my hair and comb it because this is the only way I could get a comb through my hair, then rinse. It took about 2 weeks for my hair to feel normal again.

You might need to have a trim to get rid of any true damage, but that's just a temporary set-back. Hair grows.

And P.S.: learn to stand up to your sister. This is b.s. I'd rather have not been in her stupid wedding as had my hair destroyed.

[Anje]

Yep, I think you need to clarify it. Cheap, strong sulfate shampoo, maybe even two or three times in a row. You've got to get all that gunk out, and I'm betting that that's a lot of the problem. A shampoo like Suave won't ruin your hair -- I've used it on my fine hair for years, though I've decided my scalp stays happier if I normally use it diluted.

After that, I agree with the suggestions to deep treat it. Most likely a moisture treatment like the one you did will help, but it's possible that you'll get good effects if you do a protein treatment and follow up with more moisture. (I'd save the two-step protein-then-moisture for if clarifying and moisturizing don't cut it, personally. But my hair isn't fond of much protein.)

[Nadine <3]

I just wanted to add (maybe it will put your mind at ease a little) I sometimes willingly soak my hair in hairspray because I like to wear it down with some heat free curls in it. They won't stay without soaking it in hair spray! So maybe once a month I do this and it always takes a few clarifying washes to get it all out. Hair spray is hard to remove! I just clarify, making sure to smush the shampoo all the way to the ends and then do a DT for an hour or so. It takes at least 2 washes before my hair is normal again, but it does and then it's fine. I just oil it and wear it in a bun when it's feeling weird. Don't try running a comb through it unless it's soaked in conditioner.

[eshta]

It actually clogged your drain :agape:

It sounds like your hair still has a lot of hairspray in it, don't worry about using "harsh" clarifying shampoo. It's important to get that junk out. I bet if you use a clarifying shampoo as everybody suggests it will feel a lot better and the stiff wirey feeling and snapping if you comb will stop. That sounds like hairspray and not damage to me.

[NapoleonDM]

I will pick those shampoos up! Does it say clarifying on the bottle or is anyone good?

I would have loved to have not been in the wedding. It would have saved a lot of stress (and my hair). She should have been on the show bridezilla.

She has no remorse that this happened. I didn't think she would.

There's a lot of damage on the top where I didn't expect it, with hair popping up in the front... and I may have side bangs now.
I have never had to use products for fly-aways or frizz (virgin hair) but I may have too in future when I am out. Maybe use aloe to "gel" and hold it down, because I cant reach it to S&D.

lol, what kind of snake?


I agree with clarifying. VO5, Suave, and White Rain all make clarifying shampoos that are cheap and work just fine. Sometimes you have to use it more than once, like the time my snake released musk in my hair. Puke!

Then do a deep treatment under plastic with a wool cap on your head to keep the heat in (or any other way you can think of to keep heat in).

I once thought I had ruined my hair by adding baking soda to my shampoo, but every day I'd get into the shower, work conditioner through my hair and comb it because this is the only way I could get a comb through my hair, then rinse. It took about 2 weeks for my hair to feel normal again.

You might need to have a trim to get rid of any true damage, but that's just a temporary set-back. Hair grows.

And P.S.: learn to stand up to your sister. This is b.s. I'd rather have not been in her stupid wedding as had my hair destroyed.

[NapoleonDM]

I really appreciate all the support and responses.

[spidermom]

Clarifying shampoos will have the word "clarifying" on the label.

He's a very large Burmese python.
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/busterswimming.jpg (http://s25.photobucket.com/user/spidermom/media/busterswimming.jpg.html)

[Horrorpops]

It sounds like you've gotten excellent advice about your hair. The way you describe the situation - it sounds like your sister isn't a very good one to you at the moment. Particularly if you feel like she'd take pleasure in knowing you're upset about your hair. That is not nice at all.

I am sorry this is all happening but I am sure you'll be able to get your hair healthy again. :o all the best xx

[sarahthegemini]

Just to reiterate what others have touched on - shampoo your hair with a big 'ole blob of strong shampoo. There's little point in adding treatments and such to your hair when it's still covered in hairspray. You need to concentrate on getting that out first and foremost. THEN work on moisturising your hair.

[luxurioushair]

Clarifying shampoos will have the word "clarifying" on the label.

He's a very large Burmese python.
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/busterswimming.jpg (http://s25.photobucket.com/user/spidermom/media/busterswimming.jpg.html)

:cheese::hifive:

[Vallena]

Everyone has given all the advice I'd like to give, so I'd just like to say I'm very sorry this happened to you.

[Nadine <3]

I think the suave clarifying shampoo is blue and it says "daily clarifying" and if you can't find that one I think the VO5 one is green and called "Kiwi squeeze". I know I shop by color. I walk down the aisle going "okay, a blue bottle...blue bottle"

[NapoleonDM]

Thank you all for the tips, and understanding.

I just got the suave "clarifying shampoo".

And will try another hour of a hair conditioner.

Should I mix the conditioner with a little aloe and jojoba oil still?

or just let it soak in plain for now?

[NapoleonDM]

You all are the best.

[NapoleonDM]

I will check out sally's for the packet and the spin pins.
I usually wear a low bun (to cover a neck scar) for most of the day until evening when I let it down, but right now I'm scared of fastening a bun, so a cinnabun might be good.
I can tell you I will never look at bobby pins the same. 130 of those little ****ers.
I have it in a loose braid with nothing on the end, but even that feels like its pulling on my hair. I wish I could just tuck my hair in my shirt during the day. But might look a little weird around everyone.

Good point on the sister. I sent a text, and after a day got back, "sorry. hope it gets better." right after my other sister called. I know my other sister made her respond bc they text me at the same time. I'm sure it was painful she had to even text that.

[vpatt]

Sounds like great advice from every one. Good luck on your hair getting back to normal. Hugs to you....I know how upset I would be.

[AutobotsAttack]

i would say that once you get your hairs moisture up to normal again everything will go back to normal. Try a good ACV rinse maybe twice a week until your hairs PH is back to normal, and lots of deep conditioning. All that heat probably threw off your hair's Ph balance and hydrogen bonding capabilities and such.

[irodaryne]

That's so, so terrible that your sister cornered you in to doing that. And the fact that you think she'd be happy about ruining your hair? Equally awful.

I don't have any advice to give outside of what everyone else is giving, so here's some hugs, support, and cheese. ((hug)) :cheese:

[embee]

Your scalp will feel better. It is just trying to recover from the 130 bobbypins and cans of hairspray. Your hair will also recover, it will just take time and plenty of rinsing/washing to get the spray-gook out. They don't call it "helmet hair" for nothing. ;) Right now it's probably like a non-woven polyester "fabric".... like they make interfacing from. Cheap coney shampoo and conditioner (like at Dollar Store) is a good choice for this kind of thing.

If you don't want to mess with spinpins, you can always use a simple hairstick to make a topknot for sleeping.

Really, I do believe you will end up ok. But I'd avoid saying anything to your sister, it sounds like she'd enjoy it, and she's had her share of pleasure for the foreseeable future, especially from *you*! Geez. What is it with this bride business??

If you think you've got most of the ick out, you can try detangling in the shower with a wide-tooth comb - and heaps of conditioner to help with slip. Of course at the end your hair will likely be limp and flat (conditioner does that to me, another thin/fine hair person). But that too will pass. :)

[therebelqueen]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! Take a deep breath, and don't panic. I used to do this to my hair when I was dancing regularly. I have since learned better about the hair, though the dancing is still around.

That lasting "crunch" is the hairspray that's still in your hair. And yes, it's completely normal for it to take multiple washes to get out. I would agree with everyone else about the clarifying shampoo followed by massive conditioning and babying.

Since you're also worried about your hair rubbing against things, I'd suggest wrapping your hair in a silky scarf. You can keep your hair braided/conditioned/oiled underneath while the scarf protects your hair from the rest of the world.

[oceanlove]

I'm sorry you had to go through that! I know its really hard right now, but don't stress!
Your hair is just in shock right now (my former hairdresser once used this term, not sure if its a real thing or not...)
Anyway, you have to be super gentle and loving towards your hair and nourish it back to health.
When I had super long hair (and even now, as I am trying to regrow it) and it had been under a lot of stress (heat styling, etc...) I always did a natural mask (mine is a few spoons of coconut oil, mixed with a few drops of jojoba oil, mixed with a little bit of warm water) and left it on for as long as I could (whether it be overnight or a few hours) and then washed it out properly and applied a GOOD quality conditioner or mask (I highly recommend Wella's LuxeOil Keratin Restore). My hair has always come out feeling MUCH better after this.
I really really hope you and your hair feel better soon. Best of luck!

[KittyCatCarrie]

Don't cut it! :tmi: I once remember having my hair done as you describe for a dance performance. As the other wonderful users have suggested, be calm, be patient. You can get back from this! :D It did take quite a few washes to get 2 cans of hairspray out of my mid back hair. After lots of soaking and conditioning with a deep conditioner for a few hours once a week my hair finally felt nice again. Also don't let your sister get to you. Some people just bring negativity and you don't need that in your life! :grouphug:

[Clarkie]

You've been given loads of good advice already, I just wanted to give you a ((((((hug))))) and chime in to say I think with some TLC your hair will be ok. Your sister sounds like a spoiled, selfish brat.
I kinda feel sorry for her new husband! lol!

[NapoleonDM]

i would say that once you get your hairs moisture up to normal again everything will go back to normal. Try a good ACV rinse maybe twice a week until your hairs PH is back to normal, and lots of deep conditioning. All that heat probably threw off your hair's Ph balance and hydrogen bonding capabilities and such.

This may be the next step.

It looks very frayed. very tangled. I think it might be able to be salvageable if I can tame it. I went from very straight, easy hair to what looks like "netted" hair.

I did get the Suave clarifying shampoo which helped. Although my hair isnt dry anymore, all of the damage and fly aways are kind of insane,

I used a 2 hour mask of Loreal Mega moisture after. I don't think my hair wants this one anymore.

My hair was pretty low-maintenace before. Easy.

But right now it looks like I stuck a fork in a light socket. It's frizzy and I'm not sure how to tame that, because I haven't had to deal with this before. Anyone on here with suggestions? New products?

I'm not sure what my hair needs anymore.

I've been accepting 12 inches is coming off. but will still try for a month to see what I can do.

It's everywhere. I think I even have bangs now :/

I finally grew my hair out in one nice blunt length and there's broken pieces everywhere even at the base. but I have enough hair I'm hoping I can work with it.

But this frizz!!

[NapoleonDM]

You've been given loads of good advice already, I just wanted to give you a ((((((hug))))) and chime in to say I think with some TLC your hair will be ok. Your sister sounds like a spoiled, selfish brat.
I kinda feel sorry for her new husband! lol!

I was thinking the same thing...

[Kherome]

I think you'll be fine. You may need to chelate, and then do an overnight SMT. Then I'd try cones for a while to help it recover. Sorry that your sister sucks.

[LauraAlaina]

Wow I honestly can't imagine a stylist ruining your hair just from heat styling to the point where it needs to be cut off?
I'm sure if you just do some coconut oil treatments it will feel like normal again..

[meteor]

This may be the next step.

It looks very frayed. very tangled. I think it might be able to be salvageable if I can tame it. I went from very straight, easy hair to what looks like "netted" hair.

I did get the Suave clarifying shampoo which helped. Although my hair isnt dry anymore, all of the damage and fly aways are kind of insane,

I used a 2 hour mask of Loreal Mega moisture after. I don't think my hair wants this one anymore.

My hair was pretty low-maintenace before. Easy.

But right now it looks like I stuck a fork in a light socket. It's frizzy and I'm not sure how to tame that, because I haven't had to deal with this before. Anyone on here with suggestions? New products?

I'm not sure what my hair needs anymore.

I've been accepting 12 inches is coming off. but will still try for a month to see what I can do.

It's everywhere. I think I even have bangs now :/

I finally grew my hair out in one nice blunt length and there's broken pieces everywhere even at the base. but I have enough hair I'm hoping I can work with it.

But this frizz!!

No, please don't cut!! :pray:

So, you've clarified, done deep oiling and SMT treatments already?

If so, and it's still not working, I'd get a heavy dose of protein (followed by moisture).

Do you have Sally's Beauty Supply there? If so, I'd get one the following:
- Joico K-Pak Reconstruct (both the treatment *and* the clarifying shampoo - they work much better together) - this would be my first choice;
- Redken Extreme Builder Plus;
- (this one, I hesitate to recommend because it's *very* strong) Aphogee 2-step - http://www.sallybeauty.com/protein-hair-treatment/APHOGE4,default,pd.html If you use it, you MUST follow up with the second step moisturizing conditioner. It's for very damaged hair, but since you are ready to cut 12'' off, I imagine it's probably a good candidate for "big guns".

If you use a protein treatment and the hair feels just a bit better but not back to normal yet - then you can use it again. But don't overdo it, and always follow up with a moisturizing treatment like the SMT!

If you can't get to a store and want a DIY protein treatment, you could try this:
1 pack of Knox gelatin (or any gelatin) + ~1/4 cup of hot water (enough to dilute) + enough conditioner to make it easy to apply (say, ~1/2 cup) + 1-2 tbsp of honey + 1-2 tsp of oil you like.
Apply on clarified hair for 20-30 min then rinse with a moisturizing conditioner.
That's the recipe on the mild side of things (not too much protein). If it starts working but still not enough, use more Knox gelatin next time.
Here are some good gelatin mask recipes: http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.ca/2014/04/gelatin-protein-treatment-recipe-update.html
And, obviously, keep deep oiling the hair (pre-poo coconut oil or olive oil or avocado oil should be good) and generally keep it oiled and simply braided/bunned and don't manipulate it much at this time.

Please keep us posted on how things go. I'm so terribly sorry you are going through this! :grouphug: But it will get much better and easier soon, I really believe! :pray:

[diamond_storm]

Oh wow. I am seriously reading this with my jaw dropped. I am so sorry that happened to you :(

Please don't cut it yet. Not only do I think things will get better with all of the good advice everyone gave, but I also would hate to see you give your sister the satisfaction I'm sure she'd get from you cutting it. :(

Sorry I don't have much else to add since everyone else gave great advice already. I also have very fine hair and I understand how it can feel 'crunchy' and damaged if something like hair spray is stuck to it. I think clarifying will do wonders for you.

I just can't imagine being forced to do something I was totally against by a loved one--especially just because they were being mean. I guess things like this are an important reminder that sometimes we have to do what's right for us even if it makes people unhappy. I really hope from now on people in your life only add positivity:heartbeat

Please keep us updated on your progress!

[embee]

I cannot quite believe that 12 inches needs to come off. Give it time. The fly-aways are because of all this washing. And the weather is changing too, going to winter where I am. More flyaways here. If by Christmas time you are still feeling terribly sad and bummed about your hair then you can start seriously thinking about trims. But until then, just keep on keeping on. It took years to get this long, don't toss it all away because of 2 cans of stupid hairspray and 130 bobby pins, not to mention a bridezilla! ;)

[Agnes Hannah]

Clarifying shampoos will have the word "clarifying" on the label.

He's a very large Burmese python.
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c79/spidermom/busterswimming.jpg (http://s25.photobucket.com/user/spidermom/media/busterswimming.jpg.html)

Hey! I was afraid of snakes before I met one of these, we had a kiss! I like snakes now!
NapoleonDM, I have very fine baby soft hair, I wear it in an English braid unfastened at night with a silk sleep cap and silk pillow. It is really protective. Good luck with your hair, let us know how you get on. Also really sorry you have such an awful sister. Sending a big hug.x

[kitcatsmeow]

I didn't read through the entire thread but I'm so sorry this happened :( I've been there with chemical disasters.

Everyone has given very good advice! Lots of tlc. You may want to try an aphogee protein treatment followed by a deep conditioner. That may help smooth and rebuild the damaged hair structure.

And if you can, get your hands on some olaplex or find a salon that offers olaplex treatments (just pass on the blow dry). I've seen it work wonders on severely damaged hair (including mine).

Personally I would have told my sister to F off and would never have let that be done that to my hair. She should have compromised a little it's not the end of the world ha know? Bridezillas are the worst! They take "it's your day" to the utter extreme. Sending lots of hugs and prayers that you can salvage your hair

[dancingrain91]

I know some people are saying no shampoo, but I would do an overnight oil treatment and clarify before doing an SMT for at least an hour. Then I would wash gently for successive washes and add lots of moisture. If your hair handles protein well I would also do a gelatin. treatment. One curling day will not permanently ruin your hair if you treat it with extreme care for a little while. I'd say the stiff feeling is being caused by stubborn hairspray.

[dancingrain91]

No, please don't cut!! :pray:

So, you've clarified, done deep oiling and SMT treatments already?

If so, and it's still not working, I'd get a heavy dose of protein (followed by moisture).

Do you have Sally's Beauty Supply there? If so, I'd get one the following:
- Joico K-Pak Reconstruct (both the treatment *and* the clarifying shampoo - they work much better together) - this would be my first choice;
- Redken Extreme Builder Plus;
- (this one, I hesitate to recommend because it's *very* strong) Aphogee 2-step - http://www.sallybeauty.com/protein-hair-treatment/APHOGE4,default,pd.html If you use it, you MUST follow up with the second step moisturizing conditioner. It's for very damaged hair, but since you are ready to cut 12'' off, I imagine it's probably a good candidate for "big guns".

If you use a protein treatment and the hair feels just a bit better but not back to normal yet - then you can use it again. But don't overdo it, and always follow up with a moisturizing treatment like the SMT!

If you can't get to a store and want a DIY protein treatment, you could try this:
1 pack of Knox gelatin (or any gelatin) + ~1/4 cup of hot water (enough to dilute) + enough conditioner to make it easy to apply (say, ~1/2 cup) + 1-2 tbsp of honey + 1-2 tsp of oil you like.
Apply on clarified hair for 20-30 min then rinse with a moisturizing conditioner.
That's the recipe on the mild side of things (not too much protein). If it starts working but still not enough, use more Knox gelatin next time.
Here are some good gelatin mask recipes: http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.ca/2014/04/gelatin-protein-treatment-recipe-update.html
And, obviously, keep deep oiling the hair (pre-poo coconut oil or olive oil or avocado oil should be good) and generally keep it oiled and simply braided/bunned and don't manipulate it much at this time.

Please keep us posted on how things go. I'm so terribly sorry you are going through this! :grouphug: But it will get much better and easier soon, I really believe! :pray:

Listen to this advice. Meteor has the best advice. And please stay away from your sister until she learns how to be an adult.

Sorry I didn't see your latest post. There might be some damage, or your hair could just be reacting to the second wash. Either way I would do at least one protein treatment followed by lots of moisture. That always helps me when I'm nearly ready to cut it and my hair hates protein. Otherwise give it time. Trim off an inch at most if it is really bugging you after two weeks. I grew out really damaged fine hair after bleaching the absolute **** out of it and it looked fine despite having broken off chunks. People assumed they were layers. In the worst case scenario I would maintain for a little while at your current length.

[juniperjetcat]

I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. It probably all seems like a horrible mess now with no hope in sight but the truth is that it will get better! With some time, love, and treatment you and your hair will be ok.

My sister recently had a very similar experience with her getting sprayed and heat treated a crazy amount for an event. She had spent months getting her into beautiful condition only for it to be ruined.

If I remember correctly she washed out the product and then used coconut oil in her hair and slept with it in a cap. When she woke up she kept the coconut oil in her hair for the next day and only washed it out later that evening. Her hair stayed super oily for ages but she just kept rinsing it gently. This happened a few weeks ago and today her hair is back to normal.

I agree, don't cut it yet, just give it a little bit of time and then assess whether it needs a snip or not.

[Dommydomdom]

OMG, you poor thing! I am so sorry :( my heart broke while reading your story, but I was so happy that LHC have given you such good advice and support.

A very similar thing happened to me. I think I may have spoken about this on another thread, but basically I went onto a TV show where they styled my hair with a curling iron and CANS of hairspray. I haven't used heat on my hair for years (apart from at the hairdresser this one time) and I haven't used hair gel or hairspray for decades. Also, I have been trying to get through a transition period when I changed to WO 5 months ago. When I got home I was so depressed, and confused! I didn't know if I should use S&C and start my WO transition all over again (this thought made me cry) or if I should just cut it off. I didn't think a WO wash was going to do anything to get my hair back to where it was before. So, I just went to bed miserable until in the middle of the night I remembered something I had read on LHC. I jumped out of bed, went into my bathroom and used my coconut oil that I usually use as body cream and under-eye cream. I put about 6 or 7 tablespoons of it into my brastrap length hair. As soon as I started putting it on (I started with the ends which were the most broken, damaged, crunchy and fragile) I could feel some softness and elasticity come back into my strands. I then put a plastic shower cap on, wrapped a towel around my head and went to bed. The next day I spent gently massaging my scalp and putting more CO on my hair (it had actually soaked up quite a bit) then rinsed as much out as I could (also being careful not to use water that was too warm). Obviously, since I only wash my hair with water, not a lot of the CO came out. The next day, I did an egg protein treatment (cracked 2 whole eggs into a bottle, shook it up a little to mix the egg, put it on my hair from roots to tips, left it on for about 10/15 minutes) and washed it out under cold water. I WO washed my hair about another 5 times in the next 2 weeks to get all the coconut oil out, but my hair has been so much happier - even happier than it was before the whole nightmare. Also, I think that having my natural sebum on my hair to protect it during the big fry and spray session as well as after during my recovery has helped a lot. I didn't care that my hair was a big greaseball for two weeks, I just kept it in a bun or braid and knew that it just needed time and deep moisture to get it back to normal.

I hope that even if you don't do something as radical as I did that at least my story will give you hope - your hair will get better, give it time, care for it, moisturize it, and hopefully you won't have to cut off your years of hard work.

[kelseyxface]

I skimmed through the thread and saw the usual deep conditioning and clarifying tips, but has anyone suggested henna yet? When I bleached my hair to oblivion two treatments really helped to salvage my hair. And as everyone has said do not cut! If you need to trim up an inch off the ends to get rid of any splits, go for it. But you might regret cutting it if your hair gets better! I know there were times when I was recovering from severe damage I contemplated just shaving it all off and starting from scratch. I'm so glad I didn't! I just had to find the right hair care routine again to help baby it. That's were you're at now! It's not so much that your hair is beyond repair, it's a case of finding what works for you all over again. Which is stressful, I know, but in my opinion better than long length. (: Best of luck darling <3