Advise please

[vega]

Hey guys

I have bsl length curls and recently my coworker asked me when will you cut your hair and I just shrugged it off not even answering her, any way she has same hair length and no she is sporting waist length extensions I was just abit confused cause why would my length be an issue for her any advice

[yogagirl]

Huh that is odd. Did you feel she said it in a catty way?

[woodswanderer]

My advice is to not think about it....though that can be easier said than done. You will probably never know why for sure anyway, unless you ask the coworker. That might get a little awkward though.

[Pearly~91]

Generally my answer to the "when are you cutting" type questions is "Well I'm letting it grow right now, so I only trim a bit off the ends when it needs it." or "Well it doesn't need it right now, so I'm waiting." As long as they aren't accusatory or demeaning I answer back politely, but don't give much detail.
If people keep pestering the answers get shorter and shorter. "Not right now." "I'm growing it out." I consider people who pester me to be rude so I don't mind being rude back. :)

But for the most part you just don't need to let them bother you. It's nobody's business but yours and you don't need their approval.

[Madora]

You might tell your co worker "I'll cut my hair when I feel it has reached my ideal length".

[Kitten1030]

Tell her when she starts minding her own business. Sorry. That's not very nice. I'm sick and crabby today.

[Wildcat Diva]

It's over. Ignore such questions. If you feel a need to answer, say whatever you want. IDK seems pretty noncommittal and dismissive as a response.

[vega]

Tell her when she starts minding her own business. Sorry. That's not very nice. I'm sick and crabby today.

Haha love the advise guys what's so annoying is that's ok for to have long hair but not others I just ignored her anyways but I just don't get some people...

[vega]

Huh that is odd. Did you feel she said it in a catty way?
Yes she said it in a Nasty way

[missrandie]

If it was said nasty, I probably would have been just as taken aback.. Then I would have came up with awesome comebacks later. Such as, "I don't know, when are you going to quit wearing fake hair? Can't you grow your own?" or "when I damn well feel like it, and not a minute sooner" or "when Hell offers snowcones" something equally abrupt or catty. Then again, I think I'm having POS. (peri-ovulation syndrome). It's my excuse for feeling b****y when I'm nowhere near my period ;)

[Alastríona]

My answer is either 'I don't know, why?' or, more usually, 'I'm not.'
Accompanied by a 'duh what a dumb question' look and shake of my head.
I agree though, the only way to know is to ask your coworker. If they bring it up again I would ask why do they want to know.
Otherwise, hygiene, dress codes, etc etc aside, it is truly none of their business.

Missrandie I LOVE your 'when are you going to quit wearing fake hair' suggestion :-D

[vega]

If it was said nasty, I probably would have been just as taken aback.. Then I would have came up with awesome comebacks later. Such as, "I don't know, when are you going to quit wearing fake hair? Can't you grow your own?" or "when I damn well feel like it, and not a minute sooner" or "when Hell offers snowcones" something equally abrupt or catty. Then again, I think I'm having POS. (peri-ovulation syndrome). It's my excuse for feeling b****y when I'm nowhere near my period ;)


Your so funny miss randie

Thx for your comments x lol

[Elly May]

I try to be very slow to take offense and quick to give others the benefit of the doubt, but anytime someone asks "when are you going to cut your hair?", it seems to me they are expressing their disapproval, unless of course, it it bracketed by compliments and asked in curiosity (asking how long will you grow) or dismay (oh no, please dont' cut it!) Since she is wearing extensions, she may be jealous of your thick curly mane (I know "I" am....I'm a finey.....:)) or she may have issues with men and long hair (I love long hair on guys!). So it is her issue--you just keep growing, Vega, and don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks! Remember our mantra: I'm not here to decorate your world.

(That said, anytime says something obviously rude to me, my usual response is some form of "I can't believe you just said that/why would you say such a thing?" or if it is REALLY bad, a simple "Wow, that was rude." End of discussion....)

[cathair]

I would have asked her 'why?', then waited for her to bury herself with her own response.

[MINAKO]

Most of us have two middle fingers to respond to that sort of questions. I'm not afraid to use them, lol.

[lapushka]

Oh... oh... she would have gotten some fine "feedback" from me. ;)

[Saldana]

How about just saying "Why do you ask?" Then you wait for her answer. It will probably be something like ".....I was just curious." Then you say "Oh." And then you change the subject or walk away.

Easy.

[Dark40]

I would ignore her. Don't let it bother you at all. Keep your long hair. Their are always people out there that are always looking for others to have their hair cut. Or, wanting to cut on someone else's hair themselves.

[luxurioushair]

Ignore her, but watch out for your hair...some people do crazy things out of jealousy...

[MINAKO]

Ignore her, but watch out for your hair...some people do crazy things out of jealousy...

Lol, i can't say that i didn't already consider the thought of being assaulted by my hair, but that would probably end in an extreme gore scenario once i take the scissors from them them. Hahaha, i'd go ballistic.

[Wavelength]

How about just saying "Why do you ask?" Then you wait for her answer. It will probably be something like ".....I was just curious." Then you say "Oh." And then you change the subject or walk away.


This is what I would do, but with the caveat that I'd be wearing my hair up around her from now on. Preferably in a bun. Nothing that could be easily cut off with scissors (like a braid), because honestly it sounds like she wants to be the ONLY one with long hair -- even if it's fake.

[cat11]

I think she's jealous because someone else will have long hair that's more impressive and more real then hers and she wont be special anymore. I'd say "Im not!" with a smile and kill that bitch with kindness

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I would say something like "When I decide it's long enough".

[sarahthegemini]

Just say 'it's not long enough yet' I don't see why it's such a big deal, tbh I think many on here take hair cutting questions far too seriously.

[sarahthegemini]

I think she's jealous because someone else will have long hair that's more impressive and more real then hers and she wont be special anymore. I'd say "Im not!" with a smile and kill that bitch with kindness

Oh please, don't bring jealousy into it. Not every (possibly) negative comment is down to jealousy for pete's sake.

[spidermom]

Why do you care? It was just a question. Answer it truthfully or make something up. My answer would probably have been "Cut my hair? That'll be the day!"

[vega]

I just want to keep my comments professional cause it is within the workplace , it doesn't really bother me when she comments but when other colleagues are hearing this that hurts

[cat11]

Oh please, don't bring jealousy into it. Not every (possibly) negative comment is down to jealousy for pete's sake.

"Oh please," stop being so contrary. She said that the girl said it in a nasty way, and that she has extensions. I think those are two good reasons why the girl could be jealous.

Why do you care if we say so? Both of your posts confronted other people's opinions, saying "people around here" take things too seriously and then nitpicking me. Why not just state your opinion in a way that doesn't negatively involve others and move on?

[vega]

Thanks Cat11 I suspected a form of jealousy since she's insisting others to cut hair , but it's ok for her to have long hair

[spidermom]

I'm sorry, not trying to be difficult on purpose, but I still don't get why you need to ask advice about answering a question, even if you do think the question was asked in a nasty tone of voice. Also, why are you hurt when co-workers hear another person being nasty toward you? You didn't do anything wrong. The co-worker is making herself look bad.

Anyway, my opinion is the same - just answer the question. Don't flip out or get nasty. Let the coworker look bad all by herself.

[luxurioushair]

I would stay calm and tie my hair up for the time being :cheese:

That's just what I would do...

[sarahthegemini]

"Oh please," stop being so contrary. She said that the girl said it in a nasty way, and that she has extensions. I think those are two good reasons why the girl could be jealous.

Why do you care if we say so? Both of your posts confronted other people's opinions, saying "people around here" take things too seriously and then nitpicking me. Why not just state your opinion in a way that doesn't negatively involve others and move on?

The 'people around here' comment was something I have noticed time and time again, hence I vocalise said observation. And the jealousy comment (or anti jealous I should say) was said because it's absolutely ridiculous to.assume every scenario in which someone has questioned a 'long hair's is down to jealousy. Perhaps the girl in question did say it in a nasty way or perhaps it was misconstrued - either way, doesn't mean it's jealousy. I mean, anyone can grow hair!

Also, please state where the 'negatively involved' aspect was? Are you referring to the 'oh please? ' because... Those two.words really aren't negative - unless you've portrayed them as that way in which case, that further suggests that comments can be misconstrued. You've suggested I state my opinion and I did. I don't think the girl was jealous and I do think.people take these sorts of things too seriously!

[Pearly~91]

Wow, this thread escalated fast! I think the OP was looking for helpful, realistic suggestions. Talking about scissor stabbings may be emotionally satisfying, but really?


I just want to keep my comments professional cause it is within the workplace , it doesn't really bother me when she comments but when other colleagues are hearing this that hurts
This is totally reasonable, although I wouldn't worry too much about other colleagues hearing it, they probably wont change their opinions because of comments from one person. Really, in the workplace, rude gestures and sarcasm are hardly appropriate responses. I'd answer calmly in a way that doesn't invite more conversation. If she really starts harassing you about it, I'd go to a superior, but don't get yourself in trouble because someone can't deal with your personal choices.

I second Wavelength's suggestion of wearing hair in a bun. Not for the same reason, I try to have faith that real grownup people don't run around cutting of chunks of co-workers' hair. But in my experience a bun attracts less attention. A good simple bun with minimal adornment will hopefully draw less vitriolic comments, also length isn't as readily apparent in a bun. It won't seem as long, and growth wont be noticeable.


Anyway, my opinion is the same - just answer the question. Don't flip out or get nasty. Let the coworker look bad all by herself.

Spidermom, I totally agree!

[cat11]

Thanks Cat11 I suspected a form of jealousy since she's insisting others to cut hair , but it's ok for her to have long hair

Your welcome :)


And the jealousy comment (or anti jealous I should say) was said because it's absolutely ridiculous to.assume every scenario in which someone has questioned a 'long hair's is down to jealousy.

Yes its ridiculous to say that Jealousy is the motivation behind every comment, but due to the circumstances and what OP has said, I don't think its ridiculous to think it played a part in this specific situation.

meh...

[sarahthegemini]

Your welcome :)



Yes its ridiculous to say that Jealousy is the motivation behind every comment, but due to the circumstances and what OP has said, I don't think its ridiculous to think it played a part in this specific situation.

meh...

Perhaps I was a bit quick to go on the defence, it just seems jealousy is the default LHC answer and it can get frustrating.