Need help and advice on miserable hair Pleeeease!!!

[starshade]

Hello everyone! So I've been a member here for a few years now, but got kind of busy with work and life, so never really became a regular. I continued with the whole hair growing journey in the meantime though.
My hair was initially damaged from some dying and heat tools, but I stopped with that, started using henna and taking care of it while figuring out what worked. I managed to get my hair back to being fairly healthy. For most of 2013 I trimmed away the damage, so didn't have any length gains, but didn't mind that. Thanks to all the amazing advice here, my hair was really starting to look good and had gained in thickness too.
But then around July- September last year, I had a really bad shed. My ponytail thickness went down from around 4" to less than 2.5", and the ends of my hair particularly started to look extremely thin. Since I didn't have much choice, I continued to trim sometimes taking off 2.5-3" at a time. So essentially my hair has remained between BSL and WL for over 2 years now. My hair does tend to shed easily if I'm not careful, as well as being quite fine and compressing a lot to look even thinner. Even after a year I've only gone back to around 3.25" thickness at the very top of my ponytail and the ends still look straggly and pathetic. :(

I basically got sick of being at the same length for what felt like forever and thought I would grow out to hip and then maintain, but seeing how it looks these days, I'm not sure I wouldn't be happier just doing a big trim and getting rid of most of those straggly ends. My hair looks miserable when left open, braids look terrible as the last 6" gets super-thin. An english braid is bad enough, but anything with french/dutch braids seems to look even worse. Any updos look sad as well, as there just isn't enough hair for them to look halfway good. Also I have a wide face and updos look terrible on me anyway. All in all it doesn't even 'feel' long despite being 28" now, because the lower half is so see-through.

So here's my 1st question... Looking at my pics below, does it make sense to chop off around 3-4" so my hemline immediately looks better or should I just keep plodding along the way I am now and maybe micro-trimming now and then. I'm guessing, it will take a minimum of another year, maybe much more, for my thickness to catch up to a decent length. The good news is that my hair grows a bit faster than average- 3/4- 1" a month. :confused:
My 2nd question is that my hair seems much finer and limper than before- could it be lack of protein? Would that help with getting some volume back? I have done the occasional gelatine treatment but not sure if it made much difference or how often I should be doing it

Thanks in advance! Looking forward to your replies.

before pic- taken around Jan 2012
http://s5.postimg.org/v1o1fw44n/hairstyles_12.jpg (http://postimage.org/) upload gambar (http://postimage.org/)

After pic- taken this month
http://s5.postimg.org/iyipsbt2f/aug_sept_2015_016.jpg (http://postimage.org/) upload pics (http://postimage.org/)

[lapushka]

Did you see a doctor when you went from 4 to 2 and a bit in circumference? Because that is alarming and sounds as though you might be lacking in some essential nutrients. I'd still get bloodwork done, if it were up to me. :flower:

I would microtrim. It doesn't look bad at all, just like fairytale ends a bit. No need to take a huge chunk of it off.

[starshade]

Thank you for your reply lapushka, unfortunately I didn't go to a doctor then. And I know the shed was caused due to a prolonged period of stress, insomnia and not eating properly at the time. It did get better after that, once I got back to a good diet and routine. I've only had slightly more shedding than usual again last month due to it being monsoon season here with high heat and humidity with lots of rainy days, so it's more like a seasonal thing. Right now though, the problem's under control, and my hair does seem to be regaining it's original thickness slowly.
I haven't yet decided whether to start micro-trimming as I've been feeling frustrated with the lack of progress and what looks like a regression instead of improvement in my hair journey. I know this is not something that can resolve itself overnight of course, but I'm just trying to figure the best option. While I love fairy tail ends on others, I don't like them as much on myself, or maybe it would look better if my hair was significantly longer.

[lapushka]

Honestly, it doesn't look bad. :) And I'm not just trying to make you feel better, I really feel that way. Your curls are gorgeous! Maybe trim a larger bit off than your growth every month?

[lilin]

It's really up to you and what makes you most comfortable. Your hair does look nice, and it doesn't necessarily need to be cut. But if it's making you so self-conscious, you have to weigh whether you'd be happier with more length, or with a thicker hemline.

If you keep it, the only thing I'd say is to baby those ends. My experience, when my hair was layered, is that the less dense ends were more prone to damage because they didn't have as many of their buddies protecting them. Splits can travel up the hair shaft, so do keep on eye on that.

[missmelaniem]

You need to do what makes you happy, but since youve pinpointed the reason for the shed I wouldnt go trim-happy. It seems like it would be best to just give it some time. If you want, maybe just trim whatever new growth you have every month till you regain your overall thickness?

If it were me thats what I would do.

[spidermom]

I don't think it looks bad either. What you do depends on what you want. If you need a change, go ahead and cut it back. If you still want long hair, keep up with small trims.

[Deborah]

Is your hair cut in layers? If so, maybe just trim off a couple of inches now and then and let the layers catch up.

[starshade]

Thanks everyone for your replies and kind words.
spidermom I think it's a case of being one's own harshest critic, as well as being used to seeing myself with more thickness. Also, I live in Bangalore (India) where literally every second girl I see has the whole South-Indian gene thing going on with super-thick long hair, and mine looks like a little rat's tail in comparison! But obviously, it doesn't make sense to compare with every random person I see on the street or otherwise. No one would ever be happy at that rate!

missmelaniem I think you're right, I'll probably regret having a huge chop, trimming off some or all the growth gradually may be a better route to go, and hopefully at the rate I grow it won't be that long before the thickness travels down a decent amount.

lilin I have noticed that as well, about the ends needing more protection. I'm a frequent oiler and don't leave my hair down much so hopefully that should be fine.

Deborah my hair is not cut in layers any more, but because of the huge shed I had last year the new hairs have only grown in to about 1/3- 1/2 the length, so the bottom half of my hair still looks thin.

I guess I just needed some perspective, and usually everyone here is pretty sensible and understands 'hair issues' the way friends in real life don't!

[Anje]

As someone whose hair isn't as thick as yours is now, I really don't think it looks bad. Your curls are well-clumped, which is going to open up space between them where your clothes show through. (I'm sure if you were to leave it without any leave-ins and brush out the curls once your hair was dry, your hair would be a LOT less see-through. And a fluffy cloud. ;) ) Besides, if you had a bad shed only last year, I'd only expect the top couple inches to be thickened up yet, and probably much of it still doesn't reach a ponytail. These things take a lot of time to resolve, unfortunately. Personally, I'd still suggest that you get a doctor to check you out, maybe make sure that your iron levels and thyroid are OK, as those are two common culprits for big sheds.

Whether you trim is really up to you. If your hair is in the process of thickening up, the fairytaling could be really cool as it gets longer. I don't think it looks bad as it currently is.

I don't have a lot to suggest with the limpness, because my hair's quite different from yours in texture. Some of it is that the curl has gone out? I think the best thing to do would be to see how much it stretches when wet. If an individual hair stretches a LOT and doesn't rebound from a smaller stretch, protein's what you want. If it doesn't stretch much at all before breaking, maybe you need to do more moisturizing. (Think humectants. Oils are good for holding it in, but they don't moisturize in that way.)

[starshade]

Haha Anje I guess I'll skip the whole electrocuted with a brush look! ;) The only reason my hair has regained a decent amount of thickness even now is it grows fairly quickly. Some months I had close to 1.5" growth, so in the last 12 months a total of around 12-14" or so? Maybe that's to do with living in a warm climate. And I helped it along with frequent scalp massages. Sometimes I cut back 2-3" at a time which is why it's pretty much been stuck at around the same length.
I think my hair might need more protein because it sure doesn't need more moisture these days, quite the opposite in fact.

[holothuroidea]

Your ends look beautiful to me!

I get down on my hair for being thin all the time, and I always think for sure it will never grow past X because the ends just look too wispy and done. But lo and behold, it always grows. And not only that, it always looks thicker at lengths I didn't think it'd even get too! Hair growth is strange and mysterious, try not to get discouraged.

If you're in a hair funk and haven't had a trim in a while, it might boost your hair-esteem, but don't go as far as 3''. Try just one inch, you may be surprised how much of a difference it makes.

[starshade]

Thank you holothuroidea! Your hair looks pretty to me and not thin at all. I do tend to over-trim, so will try and go easy there. I think I'll try trimming a 1/2" for the next few months and see how it goes.

[holothuroidea]

Thank you holothuroidea! Your hair looks pretty to me and not thin at all. I do tend to over-trim, so will try and go easy there. I think I'll try trimming a 1/2" for the next few months and see how it goes.

Aw thanks. My hair IS thin, though. In my avatar I have a day-after-wash bun waves, which is as fluffy as my hair gets, so it's not really representative. I like to think of my hair as thin and pretty at the same time. Like a silk scarf.

Do you trim every month? Maybe try trimming every other month?

[starshade]

Aw thanks. My hair IS thin, though. In my avatar I have a day-after-wash bun waves, which is as fluffy as my hair gets, so it's not really representative. I like to think of my hair as thin and pretty at the same time. Like a silk scarf.

Do you trim every month? Maybe try trimming every other month?

You're welcome :o A silk scarf- I like that! I haven't trimmed now for about 2 months, I was trimming every month for the previous 6 though. I'll try and average it out (1/2" a month or 1" every 2 months) because most times only a few strands get trimmed at 1/2" Do you have that problem as well?

[holothuroidea]

You're welcome :o A silk scarf- I like that! I haven't trimmed now for about 2 months, I was trimming every month for the previous 6 though. I'll try and average it out (1/2" a month or 1" every 2 months) because most times only a few strands get trimmed at 1/2" Do you have that problem as well?

I definitely do! I try to trim 1/2'' every three months. I haven't been trimming very long, I only started when I was a bit past APL and I usually forget to do it so I've only done it a couple times (maybe 4? 5?) so I'm still experimenting with the best way to do it.

I did the method where you put your hair in a pony tail and slide down the scrunchy and trim the tail. When I do that, a half inch measured from the longest strand will cut maybe 5-6 hairs, lol! So I thought maybe separating the hair into more than one pony tail would solve that problem, and it did, but it didn't go very well and my hemline is a weird shape now (like an upside down U, oops!, I have no idea how it happened).

Here is my hair without bun waves, and you can see how it's a bit wonky:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/holothuroidea/FullSizeRender_zpstu06nqy4.jpg

I'm going to trim next week, hopefully I'll have better results!

How do you do your trims?

[starshade]

I definitely do! I try to trim 1/2'' every three months. I haven't been trimming very long, I only started when I was a bit past APL and I usually forget to do it so I've only done it a couple times (maybe 4? 5?) so I'm still experimenting with the best way to do it.

I did the method where you put your hair in a pony tail and slide down the scrunchy and trim the tail. When I do that, a half inch measured from the longest strand will cut maybe 5-6 hairs, lol! So I thought maybe separating the hair into more than one pony tail would solve that problem, and it did, but it didn't go very well and my hemline is a weird shape now (like an upside down U, oops!, I have no idea how it happened).

Here is my hair without bun waves, and you can see how it's a bit wonky:

I'm going to trim next week, hopefully I'll have better results!

How do you do your trims?
Your hair is truly lovely :cheer:
I use the same trim method as you, one ponytail with a scrunchy slid down. I end up trimming at least an inch at a time because I figure 3 strands (or 5!) don't count towards my hem-length, and I'd rather get more even ends than save non-existent length! It makes sense that more than 1 ponytail trimmed would give uneven results because the hair is being held at different points on your head, so the end points would vary too. I think.

[Anje]

Heh. This sounds a LOT like how my trims go. "I want to trim an inch, but that's about 10 hairs."

[holothuroidea]

Your hair is truly lovely :cheer:
I use the same trim method as you, one ponytail with a scrunchy slid down. I end up trimming at least an inch at a time because I figure 3 strands (or 5!) don't count towards my hem-length, and I'd rather get more even ends than save non-existent length! It makes sense that more than 1 ponytail trimmed would give uneven results because the hair is being held at different points on your head, so the end points would vary too. I think.

I followed an online tutorial on how to cut using a double pony tail method. You don't make two different pony tails at the same time, you make one and then another. One was at the crown and the other was at the top of the head. I'd love to blame the tutorial, but my long hair handling skills leave a lot to be desired and it could just as easily have been me.

It actually did work in getting better ends to work with trimming wise, though.

[Silverbrumby]

Your hair is actually thicker than mine and quite lovely but I do hope the thickness comes all back! I lost a bunch two years ago and it was depressing. The thickness has partly returned and here is a bun I can do with hair similar to yours when I need a "Big Bun" day to perk me up.

https://farm1.staticflickr.com/597/21260139408_5eba279377.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ)bigbun (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ) by Donna Donut (https://www.flickr.com/photos/43043412@N08/), on Flickr

I put a ponytail in low and curl the pony around my finger then use a clip to create the bun then pins on the side to hold it down or a hair toy.

[lapushka]

https://farm1.staticflickr.com/597/21260139408_5eba279377.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ)bigbun (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ) by Donna Donut (https://www.flickr.com/photos/43043412@N08/), on Flickr

I put a ponytail in low and curl the pony around my finger then use a clip to create the bun then pins on the side to hold it down or a hair toy.

Impressive, and a beautiful elegant style! :D

[starshade]

I followed an online tutorial on how to cut using a double pony tail method. You don't make two different pony tails at the same time, you make one and then another. One was at the crown and the other was at the top of the head. I'd love to blame the tutorial, but my long hair handling skills leave a lot to be desired and it could just as easily have been me.

It actually did work in getting better ends to work with trimming wise, though.

That sounds interesting... do you have the link to the tutorial? I don't have a problem with uneven ends since my hair's curly it doesn't matter too much.

[starshade]

Your hair is actually thicker than mine and quite lovely but I do hope the thickness comes all back! I lost a bunch two years ago and it was depressing. The thickness has partly returned and here is a bun I can do with hair similar to yours when I need a "Big Bun" day to perk me up.

https://farm1.staticflickr.com/597/21260139408_5eba279377.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ)bigbun (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ) by Donna Donut (https://www.flickr.com/photos/43043412@N08/), on Flickr

I put a ponytail in low and curl the pony around my finger then use a clip to create the bun then pins on the side to hold it down or a hair toy.

Oh, I'm sorry you had to lose your thickness too. This hairstyle is really pretty and I think I'll just have to give it a try now!
It's so surprising to hear so many people tell me my thickness is Ok since the average thickness I see around where I live is wrist-thick, probably around 6" and often considerably more.

[Arctic]

Your hair is actually thicker than mine and quite lovely but I do hope the thickness comes all back! I lost a bunch two years ago and it was depressing. The thickness has partly returned and here is a bun I can do with hair similar to yours when I need a "Big Bun" day to perk me up.

https://farm1.staticflickr.com/597/21260139408_5eba279377.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ)bigbun (https://flic.kr/p/yoFLKJ) by Donna Donut (https://www.flickr.com/photos/43043412@N08/), on Flickr

I put a ponytail in low and curl the pony around my finger then use a clip to create the bun then pins on the side to hold it down or a hair toy.

Thats beautiful!

[starshade]

Heh. This sounds a LOT like how my trims go. "I want to trim an inch, but that's about 10 hairs."

:D so true. But it's heartening to see so many ladies here with fine hair that grows super long.

[starshade]

And just for fun, here's a braid picture from the Great Before! Only now noticing how little taper I had then.
http://s5.postimg.org/68vizmcbr/hair_n_me_007.jpg (http://postimage.org/) image upload no size limit (http://postimage.org/)