Feeling conflicted about trim

[Arwenlily]

I've been in the process of growing out dye and heat damage, and the resulting thin ends. I planned a trim for today, which is my first in about 5 months. Before the trim, most my hair reached 28" but the ends were very uneven with bits near APL, some at BSL and others at MBL.

I am so happy that my hair is finally growing again. I was worried about a lack of progress from my ends breaking off. Well, anyway ... I had my husband trim the longest bits of my hair. But when he was finished I wasn't satisfied, so I asked him to even out the hemline to where the hairs at BSL laid. He said, "but that is 2 1/2 inches, are you sure?" And I said, I don't want my to just feel long, I want it to look healthier too. So I had him cut the 2 inches or so.

At first, I was relieved and thrilled at how much healthier my hair looked. But as I sat with it, I really noticed how short it was. My hair was no longer brushing the middle of my back and the reduced length made my curls shrink up even more. Now I'm just barely at 26 inches and I kind of feel terrible ... I was just starting to get somewhere and then I cut off all my progress.

I keep trying to think about the benefits of the trim but I also keep thinking, was it worth it?

[Seventy7]

:grouphug: hugs to you!

You didn't do wrong, and I'm sure it's worth it. If your hair has reached MBL, it will again.
Growing out damaged hair just is a pain and there is no right way to do it. You don't magically get all healthy hair when you decide to.

I think it is really sweet that your husband was worries about cutting too much.

Would you consider microtrimming every month or two, so you only have to cut a tiny bit? I do this, and because I know I will be trimming soon again, I don't have to completely fix my ends in one go.

Be gentle to yourself. Enjoy the healthier ends! It's gonna be ok.

[diddiedaisy]

I do this all the time, except my beef is thin ends rather than damage. I also think it looks loads better then regret the length loss. Give it a few days and you'll be back to appreciating how much better it looks.

Growing hair if your starting point is not perfect is a real test of patience. You have to be able to enjoy your hair though or there's no point to growing it. It's taken me a year and a half to realise that. I want long hair yes, but long hair that looks nice. I'm at a point now that I'm just going to micro trim, you get the best of both worlds then, growth and progress with with your problem ends.

Happy growing, and don't let it stress you. :)

[Johannah]

There are two kind of progress: quality and quantity. Today you made progress in the first category. And IMO quality goes above quantity anyway, so there's nothing wrong with cutting 2" more if you think it was necessary. I've been where you are, feeling stuck but if I look back now my hair is almost BCL, I wouldn't do it different. You'll reach your goal before you know it ;)

[Theobroma]

You haven't cut off all your progress, you've made progress towards a fuller hemline! You haven't slowed down your journey towards the hemline you want at the length you want, you've only prioritised hemline over length for a bit. And if you don't trim for a few months now, you'll grow back most of those 2.5" by the end of the year in any case. Enjoy the improvement and don't fret about the length! :)

[Shia]

I did the same thing a couple of weeks ago. I'm growing out bleach damage and finding myself having to trim off my growth every month to combat the crumbling ends. Its so depressing, because you feel stuck in a rut, but I just keep telling myself that it won't last forever.

This year I've been microtrimming regularly, as it's just too heartbreaking to let it grow, then whack it all off in one chop after a few months or more. It's been good because although I haven't seen any progress in length, like others have said, I'm progressing in the hemline department.

Hang in there, and I'm sure you'll be feeling better about it in a few days. Enjoy your lovely fresh ends :)

[cat11]

I thin kit's worth it if your hair Is now even at the hem and feels better. Plus, you'll still see progress this year. I just cut off my second inch this year.... Yeah, I might get to waist a couple months later, but it's worth it for the added neatness and healthiness. I think your hair will grow back before you know it <3

[redredrobin]

When you are growing out damage, it's inevitable for most of us that we have to do slightly bigger trims along the way. It does make you feel conflicted, because it's difficult to lose length, and then you wonder if you made the wrong decision. My thoughts are that you will always get that feeling, but that you still did the right thing :D

[Mimha]

Hello Awenlily !

You know what ? I have been looking at the pictures I took when I found LHC and started getting interested in growing my hair as a goal per se. Until this time, I never had a defined length goal. My hair was growing and I knew nothing about "steps" such as APL, BSL, etc. I didn't know about micro-trim as well, and for me, to get a trim meant to chop of 5 to 20 cm from time to time. I remember that I always enjoyed my fresh ends despite the loss of length because I had no goal of reaching this or that step. So finally, even if growing with LHC is a lot of fun (and I do enjoy my hair much more on an every day basis), it adds a little stress due to the "goal to reach". It's more frustrating when you have precise expectations ! There is a frame. There are threads with fellows hair growers to whom who can compare your progresses and that can be as encouraging as it can be stressful or depressing ! Lol.

Well, I am not a young woman anymore, I have already had my hair down to TBL-classic area several times in my life, so I have got some more philosophical state of mind about my growth. And I definitely prefer to privilege quality to length. I now plan to trim at the end of my one-year-no-trim challenge 2015 to attack 2016 with fresh ends (and it is already p**** me off :justy: because I am so happy to reach waist soon !! Lol). But hey, even if I cut 5 cm I'll be back around MBL, which seemed a dreamy length only one year ago ! That's why I love looking at my old pics : I remember how happy I was when I reached APL^^. It's worth remembering ! :) By that not-so-far-away-time, BSL seemed such a long length, ha ha ha !... Actually I try to act with my hair like I do with my money : once I decide to spend my money for something expensive, I don't regret it afterwards. When I decide to cut, I wait until I am really fed up so I can enjoy the relief of cutting without regretting the loss of length. Once the cut is done, I know that I have to focus on a new goal that will motivate me enough to forget about my regrets. And just the wonderful look of my fresh ends in the mirror is soothing enough to make me feel better.

I share the other posters' feeling about the fact that your disappointment will soon be over. Enjoy your gorgeous shiny, super sproingy curls, and how vivid and energetic they are ! Look at your great soft hemline. Think when you had dreamed to be there before, when it was shorter. It's good to compare our hair length with our own progresses, sometimes. :blossom:

[parkmikii]

I too went through a 2 inch trim two months ago because my hemline got pretty thin. And all I have to say is that I'm much happier with my hair right now. So for me quality is above quantity and after all hair grows, there's no need to sacrifice the blunt hemline you prefer just for some length. Where's the fun in growing the hair if you don't like how it looks? But if you prefer to not have to trim this much in the future I think you could try microtrimming even every other month to take off about 1/4 inch to freshen up the ends :)

[georgia_peach]

Hi, Arwenlily! Four months ago I had my DH do the same thing. I'd say he trimmed about 2.5 inches, and I was really down about it for probably the first two months. I waited to do a comparison photo at the end of August (4 months after the trim) and was VERY happy with the results. You've got beautiful hair, by the way. But, give yourself a few months then take another look. I bet you'll be delighted at what you see! :)

[Deborah]

You did the right thing. It will be so very much worth it to have stronger, healthier, more even ends. Honestly. I totally agree with quality over quantity. And, you will gain those couple of inches back in a very short time.

Good choice. :cheer:

[Groovy Granny]

I felt the same way when I cut the rest of my layers out in April from MBL to APL+.

So I focused on the positives,did what I could with it AND IT GREW ;)
I am now almost at WL with a nice thicker hemline.

It's natural to feel that way...stay positive and it will pass :blossom:

Enjoy the benefits and happy growing!

[TrapperCreekD]

*hugs* You made the right decision! It's hard to lose length, but you're dealing with damage which, no matter how much you baby it and limp it along, it can't be repaired and will have to be trimmed off at some point anyway.

[DollyDagger]

I do understand these feelings. But just think now that the damage is gone you'll be exponentially happier with the new length coming in! :) and these conflicted feelings at losing the length will fade away. Happy speedy healthier shinier gorgeouser growth to you! :flower:

[meteor]

Yes, quality over quantity! :agree: :toast: Congrats on a new trim! :D Also, now that you have a thicker hemline, the growth will likely even look faster, because more hair strands will be reaching new milestones at once. :applause Fresh ends ftw! :cheer:

[Hypnotica]

It doesn't matter how long your hair is - when it comes to the trims (especially if you trim like only once or twice a year), you will always feel that your hair is short.

Case in point - when I went for my yearly trim in spring, I had calf length hair. Granted, the bulk of my hair wasn't there so I wanted to have an inch or so to even out things.
Due to a miscommunication, it came down to 3 inches and hair that was almost knee length.

I freaked out completely that first evening. It felt so SHORT. But the fresh nice blunt ends grew on me (no pun intended).

And still sometimes, even after 6 months - when people ask me if I have long hair I tell them "I had calf length hair but now it is *only* knee length".

[HairPlease]

The only reason I haven't trimmed in so long, is because I trimmed it a lot. I trimmed it a whole lot.
Growing out from a very short length gave my hair a wispy, hideous appearance more suited to a teenage punk rocker, and I simply couldn't look at myself in the mirror. As my hair approached CBL like that, I thought, man, this just isn't worth it, so, I cut to chin! Amazingly, my hair actually felt longer, because it was all together at a length instead of a few brushing my collarbones and the rest way up there somewhere (which didn't feel much longer than a pixie when you put it this way). But it actually started to fall like "hair" once I cut it back. Quality versus quantity in every way. You did the right thing.

[missmelaniem]

I get conflicted with trims when I think about them too much. Is a little "benign neglect" in order? Those 2 inches will be back before you know it :)

Maybe play with different ways of putting it up or get some new hair toys.. both fun distractions.

I think in the end you'll be glad you trimmed.

[Arwenlily]

Thank you all so much for the kind words. You are making this so much easier for me and your comments have given me a new perspective of my hair journey. So thank you for being so supportive and wonderful :blossom:

I do have to say that I am a lot happier that I not only evened up my hemline a bit but I also lost two inches of damage! That's something right? I have be patient with growing out the damage, I know, but it is so hard .. My ends are all messed up. Clumps of curls are different lengths and the ends are jagged from breakage.

Do you think micro trimming is the best bet for me? Or what do you think is the best route for me to grow out damage and revive my ends?

[parkmikii]

Thank you all so much for the kind words. You are making this so much easier for me and your comments have given me a new perspective of my hair journey. So thank you for being so supportive and wonderful :blossom:

I do have to say that I am a lot happier that I not only evened up my hemline a bit but I also lost two inches of damage! That's something right? I have be patient with growing out the damage, I know, but it is so hard .. My ends are all messed up. Clumps of curls are different lengths and the ends are jagged from breakage.

Do you think micro trimming is the best bet for me? Or what do you think is the best route for me to grow out damage and revive my ends?

In my opinion while growing out damage microtrimming is indeed something you should look into if you would also like to see some growth in the same time. You could try trimming half of your monthly growth and in this way you'll get a tiny length too while freshening the ends :)

[school of fish]

Do you think micro trimming is the best bet for me? Or what do you think is the best route for me to grow out damage and revive my ends?

Since I'm a straighty I can't advise on how easy or difficult it is to microtrim curls, but I can tell you that as a strategy microtrimming has been the number one best thing I've done to remove my damage. Updos, moisture treatments and acv rinses have all helped as well, but those are all either protective or preventative measures that support the removal of the damage - nothing can truly eliminate existing damage other than cutting it out :)

Maybe someone in the 3s can offer some practical advice on how to microtrim curls - the ponytail method is the one I use but again, I'm in the 1s so it's pretty straightforward, so to speak ;)

In the meantime, you've been given some wonderful support and encouragement here, and I'm in agreement with the crowd that your recent 2" sacrifice is indeed for the greater good. Over a year and a half of microtrimming has shown me that where damaged ends are concerned, there is strength in numbers! While individual weakened strands are more vulnerable to breakage, clumps of strands will help protect each other, so the thicker the hemline the more resilient it tends to be. So that means your newly trimmed hemline has put you in your best position for the strongest growth possible!

Enjoy your new hemline! :)

[Jennah]

I do have to say that I am a lot happier that I not only evened up my hemline a bit but I also lost two inches of damage! That's something right?

Hey Arwenlily, how are you doing with the trim now?

And post a picture!!! We want to see what you did! :agree:

[lines-wine]

Arwenlily - if you're anything like average, your hair will grow back those 2 inches in 4 months or so - quality over quantity anytime!

[Arwenlily]

I think that from now on since I have gotten a good amount of damage off, I'm going to start microtrimming. It will probably be the best for me and my goals. Thanks ladies for the help!


Hey Arwenlily, how are you doing with the trim now?

And post a picture!!! We want to see what you did! :agree:

I'm doing a lot better since the trim. I still miss the length of course and I'm discouraged by my still thin ends (especially on my right side for some reason), but overall I feel better about it. I am looking forward to eventually having healthier and thicker hair. My hair has really gone through a lot over the past couple of years!

Here is a picture! As you can see, the right side of my hair is thin ... I'm guessing because of breakage. I've had a lot of that and I believe a lot is an understatement. But here is how it is looking right now. It looks to be about bsl, ahh I was just about at mbl before the trim!

http://i1349.photobucket.com/albums/p743/Arwenlily/imag1112_zpskqxuttvj.jpg (http://s1349.photobucket.com/user/Arwenlily/media/imag1112_zpskqxuttvj.jpg.html)