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meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 01:03 PM
Hello all! I am a long time lurker of these forums, and I am so grateful for all of the information, care, and support that I've gotten from checking these threads. With that said, I think it's time I asked for more specific help.. ;)

The story-

I've always hated my hair, and have always been in a state of "waiting for it to be better." I've always kept my hair very cropped. A while ago, I started growing my hair out from a pixie and after being bored with it (it had grown for about a year or so), I went into the salon for a chemical service ("body wave" as was recommended to me as I hated my stick straight hair.) Long story short my hair really rejected it (despite being in "good" virigin condition) and most of my hair melted off. I basically had to shave it. Traumatic, but I've gotten over it and learned a very important lesson that day, lol. :(

For 2 years I have been growing out my hair since then. I had started with an inch of hair on my head and have been very kind to it. The only coloring I've done is with lush henna/indigo and the very occasional demi permanent (no ammonia or peroxide) color. I let my hair air dry and rarely use heat. I use Surface moisture shampoo and conditioner with Bassu Oil, some Lush hair products, coconut oil masks, pure argon oil masks, etc. I have also used the Phillip Kingsly Elasticizer and the occasional various protein treatments. Needless to say I don't really spare expenses on products because I get so desperate. I take hair vitamins with biotin, iron and b-12 complex. My iron and nutrient levels are healthy according to my doctor. I eat well and am active, drink mostly water.

All of this...and my hair is still brittle and breaks very easily. Also (I am unsure if this is true or just me being impatient.) But it seems in the past two years my hair really hasn't grown all of that much. Should it have grown more by this point? I have gotten the occasional trim (probably every 8-10 weeks). I recently had bangs cut in but that was a huge mistake, taking what little hair I have and putting it on my forehead wasn't the best idea :rolleyes:

My hair has never gone passed my chin, and it seems whenever it starts to get there, it just stops growing and starts to get nasty and I need to get it trimmed. Few months pass, and the same thing happens again and again.

Medically, I have some sort of auto-immune issues. Some of my doctors suspect I have Lupus, others think I am fine. I do have alopecia areata (you will see one large bald spot in my photos.) I have been treated for it with injections, but the hair that comes back is very brittle. These bald spots were needless to say very unsightly when I had and inch of hair on my head.

My hair-

I am always confused at my hair. I have very little of it, but the individual strands are very thick. But they are very brittle and break easily. It is so stick straight it doesn't do much, and won't curl (won't even hold a curl with an overnight wet set). My scalp is very dry and itchy (I occasionally get sores and scaliness), but my hair is very oily. It also feels very hay-like when it's dry and it snaps easily when wet (it does stretch a little). My hair is the most thin on top, and I get tons of those broken hairs that pop up.

So that's it :rolleyes: Not sure what I'm expecting, some moral support, maybe recommendations on some hairstyles that might make my life easier? I had dreams of growing my hair long and luxurious as I've never had long, or even really medium hair, but is that just not my destiny? :( I hate feeling like I dare not touch or do anything to my hair because of the chance it'll fall out, I am jealous of people who have fun with their hair :(

Photo links below! This is my hair air dried with nothing done to it. I also apologize for my tired, "un-done" face.

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9796.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9795.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9794.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9793.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9792.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9791.jpg

http://i1182.photobucket.com/albums/x446/cbelt09/IMG_9790.jpg

Eastbound&Down
September 8th, 2015, 01:17 PM
My first thought is, your hair looks fine in your pictures.

You said that you are trimming your hair every 8-10 weeks? That is quite frequent, you may try spreading that out, you aren't giving your hair a chance to grow.

Have you been to a dermatolagist? It sounds like you have some scalp issues, and some of the products you are using may be making it worse, like the oil treatments. Sometimes oil can irritate the scalp if you have an existing condition.

All and all, I think simplifying your routine and leaving alone for a couple months would be good for you. It sounds like this is stressing you out (stress can also cause hair fall) and an easier routine may be good for you. I hope this helped and I hope you can get on track :)

spidermom
September 8th, 2015, 01:27 PM
Other than the spot of alopecia (so sorry about that), I don't see anything so terribly wrong with your hair. I believe that those short hairs are new hairs that have grown in, not hairs that have broken off. I don't know whether you are familiar with the cycles of growing hair, so here's a short overview: each hair on your head goes through its individual cycle of actively growing, stopping or resting, then shedding out. You might notice that hairs come out when you wash, comb, or brush your hair. Those are naturally shed hairs. After they shed out, a new hair starts to grow. That is why you notice very short hairs sticking out as your hair grows longer. When you keep your hair short, those short hairs blend in better.

Hopefully understanding this will help you develop a more kindly attitude toward your hair. Those short hairs sticking out are normal; everybody has them, although they blend in better for some hair types than for others. Just take good care of your hair, get occasional trims at the bottom to have a nice shape to your hem (or not, a natural uneven hem is acceptable, too), and be patient. Hair grows, and I doubt you're anywhere near your maximum length yet. When you're actively seeking long hair, it's a good idea to minimize the trims as much as possible, although if your hair stylist is cooperative, you can achieve length with frequent trims. The stylist has to be sure to trim off less than the growth. I grew out from pixie to the bottom of my shoulder blades with trims about every 8 weeks. Then I started trimming about every 3 months, and now sometimes I go an entire year without a trim.

You might have to give up the term luxurious, though. People with natural wave and more thickness tend to match that adjective better. You can easily achieve shiny and sleek, and there's nothing wrong with that.

lapushka
September 8th, 2015, 01:32 PM
I would stop mixing henna with chemical dyes. I did the same and added bleach even and I had a chemical cut & burn. So be careful with that!

Anje
September 8th, 2015, 01:35 PM
I'm sorry you've been struggling with your hair so much.

My first thought is that if the hair seems brittle, particularly if it's hard and brittle, you might have too much protein going on it from your various treatments and such. Some hair does well with protein, and hair that's been chemically treated frequently needs it. But some of us have hair that doesn't like it very much -- I can use products with protein on rare occasions, but not at all frequently or my hair will be rough and brittle and tangles like something out of nightmares. So check your products (especially conditioners and leave-ins) for things that say ___ protein, hydrolyzed ____, ____ amino acids, keratin, collagen. Often they'll helpfully advertise stuff like "Now with soy protein complex for strong hair!" in big letters.

Make sure you have a conditioner or two that don't have protein. Try using them primarily for a while and see how your hair behaves. Maybe try an SMT with one to put extra moisture in. If that sort of thing doesn't work for you, you can always put the protein-containing products back into the rotation. :) If you want to read more about the whole protein/moisture thing, this is about the most clear post I've ever seen on the subject. (http://blackbeautyblackhair86911.yuku.com/topic/511/t/Hair-Breakage-and-Shedding-101.html)

Another thought -- definitely stop trimming your hair so much. Most hair dressers take off a substantial amount of hair, because they're assuming that you more or less want to maintain a style. Most people who are actively growing their hair can get by with no more than 3-4 cuts/year, and a lot of us do a lot fewer than that. If your ends aren't fully of splits, trimming isn't going to do much except make your ends a little fuller and your hair shorter.

All I can say about the alopecia is that I wish you luck. I know we've got a number of members with fantastic hair who get bald spots. I know stress makes it worse. I know that I don't have any luck whatsoever avoiding stress, and I don't really see how anyone can and still live their lives. But, you know, try not to be more miserable than necessary. ;)

Seventy7
September 8th, 2015, 01:36 PM
Welcome meteorfalls! I agree with Eastbound&Down that your hair looks good. It has a lovely shine and color!

I have had quite a difficult time around chin to shoulder as well. My roots would be greasy, while my ends would feel dry and hay-like. This, however, never urged me to go to a hairdresser. I've slowly changed my routine, mainly different products, like the cheapest SLS-shampoo and finally found some nice conditioners my hair loves. With that and added length, it slowly got better.
I did put my hair up as soon as it was possible. Thin hair gives quite some options, even before collarbone. This has helped me to forget about it and not fuss daily about how bad it felt.

And also: hair does grow really slowly if you look at it really often. If you only check for growth every few months, it seems to grow much more. ;)

I hope you do find some way to get past this point and enjoy your hair!

Arctic
September 8th, 2015, 01:42 PM
You've gotten good advice already. I just wanted to say, that I think your hair looks lovely in the photos and so do you (in fact, you look gorgeous!). I disagree with Spidermom about the definition of luxurious, I think it is not tied to a particular hairtype. But each can ofcourse define the terms how they like.

Good luck to you, and maybe try not to try too many new things at once, otherwise it'll be difficult to know which helped (or didn't).

DollyDagger
September 8th, 2015, 01:52 PM
Hi there meteorfall and welcome. Im glad you found your way here! I hope that with the excellent advice youve received and all the knowledge you'll find in these parts you will eventually come to be much happier with your hair. With a little tweaking I'm certain you will be. :) I agree also that it actually does look really nice! I'd see your pic and think .."wow look at that beautiful shiny hair on that pretty girl.:blossom:

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:11 PM
I would say I usually get it cut when I feel I'm getting split ends, I've had it as cut as frequently at 8 weeks, or have gone as long as 4 months-ish. Maybe I should chill and step away from the salon :)

And I did not know that! I assumed oils were good for my hair, but I did not think about my scalp...I have very sensitive skin so maybe I should look into that!

And yep, I have a good derm. I do have just basic dermatitis (I think that's the word) and I have a medicated shampoo, but it makes my hair feel like poop! There is a conditioning version of it but my insurance won't cover that type because it's a "vanity expense" >:(

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:13 PM
I did know that there was a cycle, but no one has ever explained it to me in such a simple and understandable way! lol so thank you!

I think your last bit of advice is probably the best...my hair pinterest board is filled with hair that just isn't mine (and probably isn't the models either, :p) maybe I should, not lower my expectations per say, but make them more realistic.

Arctic
September 8th, 2015, 02:14 PM
Maybe CWC with the medicated shampoo?

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:15 PM
I am very careful! So far no problems. I've been having luck using the no peroxide, no ammonia demi colors. I am trying to grow the lush henna/indigo out and have occasionally been using the color to blend it. No bleach though!

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:15 PM
This is very informative! thank you :)

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:18 PM
This is good advice. I have been thinking of just putting it up everyday for a couple of months, just to stop thinking about it. I think my sanity and hair would thank me.. And lol! I should stop looking at it. Any tips for putting it back at my length? it always slides through bands and claw clips!

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:19 PM
wow! thank you! :) no one has ever told me I have beautiful hair! I think after a while I start to convince myself it's awful and probably worse than it really is :)

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:21 PM
Thank you for all of the amazing advice already...I am thinking of doing a challenge to put it up everyday for 2 or 3 months, I think that will do me some good mentally and for my hair physically :)

DollyDagger
September 8th, 2015, 02:25 PM
wow! thank you! :) no one has ever told me I have beautiful hair! I think after a while I start to convince myself it's awful and probably worse than it really is :)
We're always our own worse critic..from an observers view point your hair is pretty. Very shiny and sleek as spidermom said. Every hair type has its beauty. :) and yes alot of the pinterest pics are major BS...dont be focusing on those toO much...:) When I stalk pinterest I try to find pics that are somewhat attainable (to me ) for inspiration..like long curly salt and pepper hair in my case...lol

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 02:34 PM
what kind of terms do you think I should be searching? when I search things like thin and fine hair, I get a lot of pixies! which are great but I'm trying to move past that :)

Arctic
September 8th, 2015, 02:52 PM
Don't search internet, seach LHC ;)

If you'd go to the member's page, and advanced search, you can search members by hairtype.

MsBubbles
September 8th, 2015, 02:55 PM
I have thin & fine hair and I think a pixie would just about be the worst style I could give it!

8-10 weeks for a trim is extremely often in my opinion. I would recommend you let it grow out, yourself (grit your teeth and get through the awkward stages) until it's long enough to do your own self trimming. There are threads here for people growing out at various awkward stages, so you may find a place for commiserations! That might help you get through it and to the other side (beyond shoulder length?).

DollyDagger
September 8th, 2015, 02:58 PM
I have thin & fine hair and I think a pixie would just about be the worst style I could give it!

agreed...

shoulder length sleek Bob..try that :) dont use thin and fine in your search terms
Go check out the straight and silky thread here
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=22766

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 03:04 PM
thank you :)

meteor
September 8th, 2015, 03:13 PM
Welcome to the LHC, meteorfalls! :cheer: Such shiny, beautiful hair! You already got so much great advice! I want to echo again the excellent advice on avoiding trimming hair too often. If you want to grow longer and you don't see any split ends, any white dots, your hair is absolutely fine and you can let it grow trim-free.

You are already very serious on hair care and use some great products, so I have nothing to add there, except that sleeping on silky smooth materials or covering hair with a silk scarf/bonnet might be good, as well - because hair slides on silky materials and remains a bit more moisturized, smooth and tangle-free, compared to absorbent cotton, for example.


This is good advice. I have been thinking of just putting it up everyday for a couple of months, just to stop thinking about it. I think my sanity and hair would thank me.. And lol! I should stop looking at it. Any tips for putting it back at my length? it always slides through bands and claw clips!


Thank you for all of the amazing advice already...I am thinking of doing a challenge to put it up everyday for 2 or 3 months, I think that will do me some good mentally and for my hair physically :)

Excellent idea! If you want to put hair up at this length, something like a peacock twist with a claw, a French/Dutch braid, a French braid tuck, a crown braid... can work well! ;)
Braiding along the scalp really helps add "grippage" to updos, so I recommend that. If your hair isn't long enough for updos yet, that's fine. You could do a half-up, for example. :)

carrie30
September 8th, 2015, 03:24 PM
Welcome! I think your hair looks lovely and shiny and if you want to see hay like texture you should see mine! Bleaching is what damaged my hair beyond repair and I really don't think you are anywhere near that level. I would maybe try some natural, organic products on your hair to gently cleanse and condition without heaviness- or there is a range called 'living proof' that Is expensive but could help as they conditioners nourish but don't weigh down the hair. Also - try omega 3 capsules for health and shine , I've started taking them as I saw how they transformed a friend's dry hair x

Azy
September 8th, 2015, 03:27 PM
You have really lovely hair meteorfalls. Don't ever think otherwise. The way you described it I was expecting something way worse than what I saw in your pics. Like the others said. Less trims, less oil and maybe try using a moisturizing conditioner. Protein overload is quite possible. Good luck with growing and I hope your alopecia improves. :cheer:

sarahthegemini
September 8th, 2015, 03:39 PM
Other than the spot of alopecia (so sorry about that), I don't see anything so terribly wrong with your hair. I believe that those short hairs are new hairs that have grown in, not hairs that have broken off. I don't know whether you are familiar with the cycles of growing hair, so here's a short overview: each hair on your head goes through its individual cycle of actively growing, stopping or resting, then shedding out. You might notice that hairs come out when you wash, comb, or brush your hair. Those are naturally shed hairs. After they shed out, a new hair starts to grow. That is why you notice very short hairs sticking out as your hair grows longer. When you keep your hair short, those short hairs blend in better.

Hopefully understanding this will help you develop a more kindly attitude toward your hair. Those short hairs sticking out are normal; everybody has them, although they blend in better for some hair types than for others. Just take good care of your hair, get occasional trims at the bottom to have a nice shape to your hem (or not, a natural uneven hem is acceptable, too), and be patient. Hair grows, and I doubt you're anywhere near your maximum length yet. When you're actively seeking long hair, it's a good idea to minimize the trims as much as possible, although if your hair stylist is cooperative, you can achieve length with frequent trims. The stylist has to be sure to trim off less than the growth. I grew out from pixie to the bottom of my shoulder blades with trims about every 8 weeks. Then I started trimming about every 3 months, and now sometimes I go an entire year without a trim.

You might have to give up the term luxurious, though. People with natural wave and more thickness tend to match that adjective better. You can easily achieve shiny and sleek, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Luxurious can only be applied to thick hair? Hmm okay then.

OP - Firstly stop trimming! Secondly, your hair might naturally be fragile (mine is!) and need more care and protection to grow without breaking. I would also be tempted to suggest that in terms of what you're putting on your hair - go back to basics.

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 03:53 PM
Earlier I said I always wanted "long and luxurious hair" they took at as me wanting a hair type that I don't naturally have (which is true). I think when most people think "luxurious" in regards to hair they think of having A LOT of hair. I don't think they meant to put a hair type down or say those with thin hair can't have luxurious hair, just in response to the way I originally worded it at the top of the thread, I could benefit from changing the words I was associating with my end goal.

And thank you! I definitely need to stop trimming and just put up with the way it looks.

kjirstiben
September 8th, 2015, 04:25 PM
A thought... you'd mentioned you've used henna to color with -- back when I did repeated henna treatments, I noticed a real difference in my hair texture, making it feel sort of dry and snappy and rough at the ends... henna does coat the hair strands and eventually can make it hard for water to penetrate them, so it could be playing into some of your hair issues.

Otherwise, I'd go with the excellent advice that the posters above me in the thread have given you! And yes, prioritize finding a shampoo/conditioner combination that your scalp can live with -- I have sensitive skin, too, and I've had to do a lot of trial and error to figure out what products my scalp won't react badly to. In a pinch, going to a Water Only (WO) routine might make your scalp happier -- it did for mine -- but you'd have to plan for how to deal with your hair during the transition period.

But good luck to you! And your hair looks really pretty in your pictures... a beautiful sleekness and shine to it!

Deborah
September 8th, 2015, 06:59 PM
Your hair looks pretty, shiny, and perfectly normal and nice to me. I think you are bring overly self critical.

If I were you I would stop coloring it at all, just keep it clean and let it grow. All types of hair coloring can cause any number of problems, including brittleness and dryness. On this board you will hear people call hairdryers 'hairfryers', and for good reason. They really can and do cause damage to hair. Let it dry naturally. Just these two changes would probably make a wonderful change in the health of your hair.

Welcome and good luck! :flower:

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 07:05 PM
thank you! yeah I think I was being overly harsh. I guess after trying to grow it out for so long I kind of just started to go nuts and was convinced there was something wrong with me. :)

meteorfalls
September 8th, 2015, 07:07 PM
thank you! the alopecia is a battle, but many have it way worse. I am lucky that the one spot on the side of my head is the only spot I have, (though I will likely have it forever) the rest of the spots filled in after the treatments I received from my derm.

And thank you! After all of the kind comments I do think I was being a bit harsh, but we are our own worst critics I guess!

Sarahlabyrinth
September 8th, 2015, 07:13 PM
Gosh your hair is beautiful! Oh, and welcome to the LHC! Just be very gentle with your hair, never pull or tug on the comb when detangling. Try trimming less often - maybe a small trim every 6 months? And I'm sure your hair will reward you. You can also try diluting your shampoo and conditioner with water, which is much gentler on your hair.

And do you know not to pile all your hair on top of your head and scrub away at it when you wash it - that just causes tangles and damage. Stroke the shampoo gently through your scalp hair, you don't need to put shampoo on your ends usually, when you rinse it off the suds will run down the length and clean it. As for conditioner, you only need to apply it from your ears downwards, your scalp doesn't need conditioner.

I hope this helps :)

RavenRose
September 8th, 2015, 07:29 PM
Your hair looks Pretty!

You have lots of good advice

It may be that you are trying to hard- doing to much at once. I know my hair is easily damaged- so for the longest time was using very heavy repairative shampoos, conditioners, protein and oil treatments.I was also washing and conditioning the entire length every time I showered. My scalp was always greasy and the ends extremely dry.

It turns out for my hair less is better. I stretch my washes to 3 days now, and I need to treat my oily scalp different than my ends. I rarely shampoo below my ears, and my scalp only sees conditioner during a deep treatment. Most oils make my hair drier, if put on dry hair, since they can block moisture from the hair. I can only use lighter conditioners, and small amounts of protein or cones are okay, but build up quickly.

Do you clarify? I found that is extremely helpful to clarify once a month, or when my ends start to feel rough or tangly, usually followed by a deep treatment. Starting with clarified hair will make it easier to see how your hair is reacting to one particular product.

spidermom
September 8th, 2015, 08:44 PM
Luxurious can only be applied to thick hair? Hmm okay then.

I did not say that luxurious can only be applied to thick hair. I said "tend to match the adjective better," although I meant to say "definition" instead of "adjective."

Luxurious definition I was thinking in terms of: present or occurring in great abundance, rich profusion, etc.; opulent

Seventy7
September 13th, 2015, 09:56 AM
This is good advice. I have been thinking of just putting it up everyday for a couple of months, just to stop thinking about it. I think my sanity and hair would thank me.. And lol! I should stop looking at it. Any tips for putting it back at my length? it always slides through bands and claw clips!

Have you tried braiding yet? Dutch and french braids look cute, even with ends poking out everywhere. ;)
If a single braid is not doable yet, you could try twin braids or just a braid along the hairline.
I've worn a Gibson tuck quite often. Lilith Moon (https://youtu.be/zmZR-PlJ_AU) has a nice tutorial.

If you can get the technique for bobby pins down, you can just pin it every which way and it will look cute. :D

lines-wine
September 19th, 2015, 03:56 PM
I'd wash t less, trim it a LOT less & try a dutch braid. (my 2 cents)