Help for friend: children's afro-hair care for beginners

[Arctic]

[June 2016 update on this post (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=133856&p=3250217&viewfull=1#post3250217).]


Hello everyone!

I am reaching out on behalf of my friend, to ask help from the collective wisdom that is LHC :).

My friend is in a process of adopting a child from Africa. I tought that one small way I might be able to help her and her husband in this all, is to help her find information, advice and experiences about haircare of afro-type hair, because I have understood it's often very different to care and something adoptive parents might find difficult in the beginning. Now they do not yet know exactly when they will actually be able to have their future child - probably during the next year or so, perhaps even in few months time - and thus they also don't yet know age, sex, hair type, hair length, or possible skin sensitiveness issues, etc., of their future child. (Note, the information we are looking for isn't neccessarily of long hair care, but more generally (possibly very) curly hair care related.)

As a cultural background information, afro-type or "ethnic" hair, or to be honest any types of really curly, really thick hairtypes, are not very common in our country, and for example specific products and specialized hairsalons are difficult to find. For reference, my friend has almost no experience about curly hair care of any type, or super thick hair care.

I'd appreciate if you'd forget that I personally have been on hair forums for a long time. This thread is for my friend, and it would be helpful to gather information starting from the very basics of curly, hyper curly, kinky curly and very thick haircare, especially when it comes to small children (of both sexes). In general she is not familiar with the typical LHC terminology or abbreviations, nor at hair forum circles commonly known stuff, so please keep this in mind too. In other words, please in your replies, expect to write to a person who doesn't have LHC-type hair knowledge. :flower:

I would like to hear back from everyone regardless of background, etc., but probably first hand information and experiences of afro-hair care would be the most helpful. I'd love to hear from all of those who have hyper curly, kinky curly or very thick and curly (or any combination of these) hairtype themself - or those who have different hairtype, but have learned to take care of these curly hairtypes for others (preferably children's hair).

My friend could use information, knowledge, experiences, help and tips about everything hair related. Including links to websites, videos, blogs, tutorials, and ofcourse the personal experiences of LHCers. Moisturizing, hair (and scalp?) oiling, hair washing methods and frequency, types of shampoos and conditioners, conditioner only (CO) washing, leave-ins, detangling of curly hair ... pros and cons of combs and brushes ... all kinds of things you can think of, and especially remembering this is for a small child. I'm sure she would love to hear about other things that for example adoptive parents (or people in comparable situation) have experienced, too, if someone is willing to share.

While product recommendations are fine too, please be aware that most of them are not available in our country, and it is probably not a really long term, sustainable option to order products from abroads. So if you want to recommend products, it might probably be helpful to really explain why you love that particular product, and give ingredient lists, and links to the products, so she might learn to recognize the type of products that often are found to be good for afro/very curly hair. Then she can start seeing how she wants to proceed, and what we have available here in our country that she could use. DIY hair stuff might be helpful too.

And hairstyling help, especially for a small child would be great. Braids, twists, puffs... how to secure them, how to care them. If you know good tutorials, please share, and first hand information would be wonderful: either from a caregivers (parents, adult relatives, nannies, etc.) perspective, or memories when you were a child yourself (how you experienced the hair styling? What could have been improved? What you loved?). What kind of styles would suit a child, how to do them, how often the styles would need re-doing, what kind of learning curve there is and how long one styling session might last, how to avoid traction alopecia, and so on.

Also it might be helpful to hear about afro-textured hair cutting, trimming, dusting and S&D (=search and destroy, where damaged ends are snipped one by one from individual hair strands) in general, because in my country hair salons specialized to ethnic hair are very few, and it might be helpful to learn what to look for in salons/stylists, and maybe how to DIY cut child's hair (boys and girls) if it would be needed at some point. Starting from the very basics, like the equipments: what type of shears and so on. Someone had told my friend "normal" hair cutting shears wouldn't cut afro-hair, and I was of opinion this can't be true, that hair is hair, so please enlighten us about this issue too. I can only imagine the person who had said so, was either speaking of prejudiced stereotypes, or had not sectioned the hair properly, if the claim was based on personal experience, and had tried to cut too much hair at once. Otherwise it just doesn't make sense to me.

On the same vein, I sometimes see our members here mentioning their hair is so thick and/or curly it breaks stuff like brushes, combs, ponytail holders and other thing used to secure a hair style (known as "hair toys" here at LHC). What is your experience about this, and how to avoid this?


Lastly, I wanted to point out that this thread was my idea, and I hope it will turn into a nice resource for my friend and maybe others in the same position. We'll need to keep the thread on a public forum, so she will be able to read this, as she's not a member here. I will give a link to this thread for her, and I hope we could keep this in a positive, easy to read, on point format, so she doesn't get overwhelmed. If she has questions, I can post them for her here.


I will thank you everyone in advance for taking time to reply! :flowers: It would be wonderful if we could get many people to answer and different kinds of experiences gathered here.

[Johannah]

Black Girl Long Hair (http://blackgirllonghair.com/) will definitely help. Also, just type into youtube 'going natural basics' and there's sure a lot of information to go through! Also, here in Belgium there are special 'afro hairdressers'. Maybe she can research some already so she knows where to go. There are also some special afro-shops around in the big cities here as well with products used for afro-hair. I'm not sure if you can find those shops and hairdressers in Finland, but it's worth the search IMO.

[Arctic]

Thank you Johannah!

I think at least in the capital city there are some few hairsalons specialized in afro-hair, but I'm not sure how easy it would be to travel with a small child just to get her/his hair cut. But that's something my friend and her husband need to consider themselves. I am personally not aware of shops specialized for afrotype hair (which doesn't mean there aren't any), but if there are, my friend probably could find them by googling, thanks for they ideas! I'd imagine those few hair salons would perhaps carry some product lines too, maybe they could be ordered from their websites if they have one.

[Arctic]

What are the differences between hair products aimed for afro-hair or "ethnic" hair compared to products aimed for, for example, caucasian hair?

I often read here at LHC that people of all hairtypes use pretty similar products, and I can come to a conclusion there aren't that much differencies between products marketed for X or Y or Z. What do people who have more experience think?

[yogagirl]

First of all, all the best to your friend on her adoption journey. What an exciting and nerve wracking time this must be.

When I was a teenager I was a full time care giver for a couple of amazing African American girls. As such I was responsible to do their hair for the day and for the night each day. 1-2 times a week I would wash their hair.

First of all, between the two of them their day styling took about 30 minutes each morning. Depending on the style of course. When I first started caring for them, I started doing super simple styles that were efficient at keeping their hair contained for their day at kindergarten/school. The time spent doing their hair was a nice "quiet time" each morning. I would usually turn the tv on to Sesame Street, put them on a little chair and sit behind them on the couch to do their hair.

1. Take hair out of sleeping style, often add some detangling spray, then use a wide toothed comb to gently comb their hair out.
2. Then section their hair in 2, 3, 4, or 6 sections and tie them using bauble style ties (similar to here, but smaller bobbles: http://content.latest-hairstyles.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Large-Braids-with-Multi-Colored-Hair-Ties-cropped.jpg) You can smooth the sections using a boar bristle brush.
3. The girl in the above link has twists, but I would just do simple 3-strand braids for each section. Tie off with little elastic. If the front braids get into the girl's face, I would add the end of the front braids to the base hair tie of a braid in the back.
3*. If the hair is too short to do braids, I would just do one or two fluffed up ponytails on top of their heads.

This is definitely the style I found easiest and most efficient. There really wasn't a need to go all out with French braids etc, at least not for the hair "my" little girls had. Another bonus, it easily transforms into a night style by taking the bobbles at the base of the braids out, while leaving the braid intact and leaving the end of the braid tied off. This way they hair won't tangle at night, but their scalp get a rest from hair ties. Once the hair tangles, it can be very difficult to detangle.

Also if you are going to use hair ties on super curly hair, definitely use bobbles. It is so much gentler, because it doesn't require pulling the whole length of hair through the elastic. (How to use hair bobbles: http://youtu.be/i2rTGEvt__w)

Sorry, I don't remember which products we used. I just remember we used a little bit of detangler every day while styling their hair on top of whatever conditioner and and creme was already in their hair. And yes, the products were specifically for 3/4 type hair.

[Swan Maiden]

Chocolatehairvanillacare.com
Edited to add: that is very nice of you Arctic to think of this detail to help them. I had a friend that adopted some children from Ethiopia and she mentioned the site I gave.

[lapushka]

http://www.tightlycurly.com - Teri LaFlesh's site. Very useful, and she has a guide for little kids' hair.

[Johannah]

What are the differences between hair products aimed for afro-hair or "ethnic" hair compared to products aimed for, for example, caucasian hair?

I often read here at LHC that people of all hairtypes use pretty similar products, and I can come to a conclusion there aren't that much differencies between products marketed for X or Y or Z. What do people who have more experience think?

In general - the curlier, the more moisture it needs. So those products 'for afro hair' are products which are really heavy and really moisturizing. Obviously someone with 1a hair can use them as well!

[Arctic]

yogagirl - thank you for the detailed reply! I'm sure it will be very helpful! Yes it's very exciting time for my friend and her husband, the process is in the phase where they might get that very special phone call almost any time now, or on the other hand it might take a longer while too. It muct be difficult to be patient!

Swan Maiden - thank you! I've read so many times the bad experienced very curly haired people have had as children, and also how difficult it is suddenly to learn caring for very different hairtype of a child than one has themselves, and being a hairforum veteran I thought about this right away :)

Lapushka - that's a site I had in my mind too, I'm glad it was brought up!

Johannah - thank you!

[DollyDagger]

Very nice of you Arctic..she's lucky to call you her friend :) All the sites I wouldve mentioned have already been mentioned but just to reiterate you tube you tube you tube :) always has great info and tutorials.

[Arctic]

Here are some basic things I can think on top of my hat about curly hair care:


- curly hair shouldn't be brushed
- although there are curlies who do brush at least occasionally, often just before washing
- always detangle with wide tooth comb before gently brushing
- if you brush curly hair (or even if you comb when it's dry), it will break the curl pattern and those clumps of curls, which will result as frizz and poof and lot of volume. The aim is to keep those curl clumps as "clumpy" as possible
- wide toothed, seamless comb is the best detangling method (The Body Shop has a nice wooden, wide toothed combs)
- often detangling is recommended to be done on wet hair, while hair is slippery with conditioner
- always start the detangling, combing or possible brushing from the ends and slowly work towards scalp
- many curlies mostly toss their combs and brushes, and mostly detangle with their fingers
- very curly hair might not need regular shampooing
- but it needs regular, intensive conditioning, both rinse out and leave in conditioners
- conditioner can be used in place of shampoo: this is called CO-washing (Conditioner Only)
- it was, I think developed by the the person who invented the Curly Girl method (=CG), which might be something to google too
- curly hair stives with moisture

[Arctic]

Very nice of you Arctic..she's lucky to call you her friend :) All the sites I wouldve mentioned have already been mentioned but just to reiterate you tube you tube you tube :) always has great info and tutorials.

Thanks, I do hope she'll find this useful!


Does anyone have any specific You Tube links?

[DollyDagger]

Thanks, I do hope she'll find this useful!


Does anyone have any specific You Tube links?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcZEGTN_hvo

That one there seems pretty good
There are soooo many to choose from....:) I watch a few black womens haircare channels but none geared specifically for kids although Im sure the basics apply the same to kids anyways.

[Arctic]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcZEGTN_hvo

that one there seems pretty good

Ooh, the girl has gorgeous hair, and very long too!

[Arctic]

Link to a very popular DIY hair mask, called SMT (comes from words Snowymoon's Moisture Treatment):

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128

It's basically a pimped up conditioner: 1 part honey (moisturizes), 1 part aloe vera gel (as pure as possible, moisturizes), and 4 parts of conditioner. :thumbsup:


One good website is Naturally Curly (http://www.naturallycurly.com/) (=NC), they have great articles and hair type specific information.
They have a forum too: click (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/).


I will add a link to hairtyping here in a minute, because one might bumb into these a lot when reading hair-related articles and forum posts.
ETA: Here's an LHC hairtyping page: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=116252
And here's NC hairtyping page, which is curl-centric. More info when you'll click each photos: http://www.naturallycurly.com/hair-types

[DollyDagger]

It's basically a pimped up conditioner: 1 part honey (moisturizes), 1 part aloe vera gel (as pure as possible, moisturizes), and 4 parts of conditioner. :thumbsup:



Lol..well put :)

[DollyDagger]

Another
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3YFkfjMR04

[Arctic]

Thank you DollyDagger!

It's good to have some specific videos, as I can imagine just going to Youtube and typing some hair related search words might become overwhelming - there are so.many.videos out there!

***

Some other things about very curly hair.

- It shrinks. It's called (surprisingly ;)) shrinkage. The curlier the hair, the more it shrinks: someone might have hair down to the middle back when stretched, but when let spring up, it might be hovering around shoulders. Many of the common curly/kinky curly hair styles stretch the hair (temporary, until it gets wet again). When trimming curly or even just wavy hair, it's better done on dry hair, otherwise the shrinkage might make the new cut surprisingly short when it dries.

- Very curly hair also doesn't grow down, but up and out. It takes considerable length for the hair to have enough weight for it to start growing downward. Also because of the tight curls, it appears to grow slowly, even though in reality it grows like any other hair, it just needs more length to show because of those curls.

- Interesting link about how kinky curly hair differs from curly: http://www.thenaturalhavenbloom.com/2011/05/curly-vs-kinky-what-is-difference.html (kinky hair is not limited to african hair type at all, thought, for example I have kinky hairs too).



These terms might become handy when reading articles/forums and watching videos:

- Terminology: natural hair = this often refers to non-relaxed (=non-chemically steightened) curly hair (but hair might be coloured, or heat styled)

- Terminology: Braid is American English, plait is English English.

- Terminology: same or similar hair styles might be called differently depending on the culture: small french/dutch braids = cornrows, ropebraid=two strand twists

- Terminology: when hair is first been worn in twists and braids and later those have been taken out and hair has nice curls, it's called twist outs and braid outs

[lapushka]

There's plenty of YT channels out there on new naturals. Do search for those, also.

[Arctic]

There's plenty of YT channels out there on new naturals. Do search for those, also.

Thanks Lapushka! Ha ha, my friend is going to be very busy learning about hair care :D
If you know good channels or videos, please post them too!

[Hairkay]

My family didn't use salons for child hair care. We just got our hair daily rinsed as we showered and shampooed on sundays (once). We used a sturdy wide tooth comb. Damp hair was oiled. Then it was put into bantu knots to dry. It was later styled in plaits. We had it combed every day though that's not necessary. It can be styled once a week. Everyone on the forum is aware of how beneficial satin caps can be and or satin pillowslips.

Baby hair care just meant rinsing hair and oiling with coconut oil. When hair has grown a bit and is getting thicker and curlier then it's time to do more. For hair styling this was done very gently when baby is being put to sleep. The baby is put across your lap and rocked whilst hair is gentle put into little plaits or twists. You just work on the side of the head that is up then turn the baby's head or work as the baby turns their head. If done gently the baby will always see hair care as a good comforting experience. No tight hair styling and be careful of pulling the delicate edges. Remember to allow the child's hair to rest between styles and it's okay to let it be free.

My own experience was helpful being encouraged to be part of my own hair care from very young. I got Saturdays to play around in my own hair.

Here's a youtube video

young baby and toddler

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLBdZdkKVYg

girl
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsGHj33MR78


girl's hairstyle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8TLXs5QJh4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SWOPkuzKrg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxYY-FVeeBU

[DollyDagger]

Arctic you're gonna be a good babysitter/hairstyler too :)

[lapushka]

Thanks Lapushka! Ha ha, my friend is going to be very busy learning about hair care :D
If you know good channels or videos, please post them too!

Ooh, I will! These are a few curlies I watch:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6zz69ZilZqs2eeEMZpnzUg
https://www.youtube.com/user/SunKissAlba
https://www.youtube.com/user/LanaLadyBugg
https://www.youtube.com/user/CurlyPenny
https://www.youtube.com/user/Khadi878
https://www.youtube.com/user/JustKellee101
https://www.youtube.com/user/shalimarcat
https://www.youtube.com/user/tashaxgreen
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3LEg54OH5KgdGrgdT7KowQ
https://www.youtube.com/user/NaturalEquation1
https://www.youtube.com/user/lovingdeenaturally
https://www.youtube.com/user/missthis897
https://www.youtube.com/user/Naptural85
https://www.youtube.com/user/thewhirlsandcurls
https://www.youtube.com/user/RisasRizos
https://www.youtube.com/user/MoKnowsHair <-- definitely worth watching! (well they all are)

These are not all of them, I just browsed my feed for the last couple of days... If I come across more, I'll post them!

[meteor]

There are a ton of great YouTube videos where moms show how they wash, detangle and style their kids' Afro-textured hair.

Just type "kinky curly hair care kids" in YT searchbar. I've seen too many good videos by now to mention specific ones, but the best ones were probably with 4-6-8 braids or twists - left down or bunned up. This is both protective and not too fussy, not too tight on scalp.
Also, many do oil rinses during S&C washes and that really helps with detangling.
It's important to get excellent detangling products, detangle gently with water, oil and conditioner and style super-gently and resist the temptation to do any tight styles.

[Arctic]

Hairkay - thank you so much, that information is really helpful! That's important point you made, to try and make the hair care a positive experience for the child. Great links too!

(And more terminology for my friend: edges are those fine babyhairs around the hairline. They get damaged easily.)



DollyDagger that would be awesome :)



Cool Lapushka, thanks!



ETA: Thanks Meteor, those are good advice! Having Youtube really is a wonderful resource! It so different to actually see how hair behaves and how something is done, rather than just read about it.

[AutobotsAttack]

How sweet of you Arctic! :) I'm in my 20's so I will just give you a summed up version of a few basics.
1. She should fine a good moisturizing conditioner (look for ingredients with Behentrimonium chloride they provide to a of slip for detangling)
2. Get a good leave in conditioner (she might want to try products such as L'Oreal (if they are available there)
3. Find a sulfate free shampoo
4. Get a clarifying shampoo (one with sulfates)
5. Get a good water based moisturizer (water should be the first ingredient. Make sure no mineral oils, parrafins, or lanolin oils or present)
6. Wide tooth combs
7. Satin scarf or bonnet (to protect the child's hair, mainly if it's a girl)
8. An oil. Some good ones are coconut, avocado, argan, olive oil, Jamaican black castor oil, castor oil, carrot oil, or grape seed oil. This is to be used to oil scalp and to be a sealant.

Just have her build a simple but effective regimen.
Here's a good outline of one that she can tweak to how her child's hair texture is:
Co-wash once a week
Deep condition once a week
Clarify once a month
Shampoo wash maybe once a week or twice a week depending on build up
Moisturize in sections nightly and then seal with oil of choice.
When she shampoos or clarifies, make sure she follows up with a conditioner and then does a deep conditioning treatment for at least 30 mins with heat (hooded dryer), or up to an hour and a half without heat.
Leave Ins should be applied once everything has been washed out (conditioning or deep conditioning).
She should let hair air dry only
And detangle with a wide tooth comb only.
No gel (homemade flaxseed gel is good), tight rubber bands, fine tooth combs, or aggressive combing
And I would suggest she not put a relaxer in the hair (if the child is a girl) I am relaxed but that's something they can discuss later when the child is MUCH more older.

That pretty much is just a rough outline. But make sure she remembers to moisturize and seal. That is a VERY VERY important routine to do. And she should do it at the very least once a day. I would suggest twice a day ( once in the morning before styling and once at night before putting her child to bed).

For styles she should do low manipulation, low tension styles like:
Two strand twists
Three strand braids
Loose buns or puffs

And for night time make sure she has the ends of the child's hair tucked away and secured so that the ends do not dry out and break off

*afro textured hair is extremely prone to dryness. So make sure she just remembers that when caring for her child's hair. Think of it like a plant that needs frequent watering and moisture :)

[meteor]

And more terminology for my friend: edges are those fine babyhairs around the hairline. They get damaged easily.

Yes, they usually get damaged by tight styling, which is why it's important to avoid tight styling or pinning them down tightly. If the edges stick out a lot, just use some aloe vera gel, flaxseed gel or some other product to sleek them back a bit or simply let her rock the frizzies. ;)

[AutobotsAttack]

And if you have more questions on specific things PLEASE do feel free to message me. My hair is a very coily 3 type of hair :) so I have a very thorough understanding of Afro textured hair such as mine :)

[chen bao jun]

This is so great for you to do for your friend.

One this to be aware of, since the child is from Africa, many youtube videos and sites MAY not be all that useful. Most African Americans are mixed race historically (though they will not admit to it even if you kill them) which makes the hair types vary quite a bit. I would not say that most have different hair than most Africans(I know there is not totally uniformity there either), but the people who end up on being popular on youtube as African American hair gurus tend not to be the people who have the truly hypercurly hair types--and the hair care advice they give may very well not be suitable.

I found this out after learning to care for my hair and then having to learn to how to do my mom's hair. My mom has the sort of hair that the children might well have and I had to learn to refine my techniques quite a lot. Youtube videos and often black hair care sites tend to be targeted towards what are called 3c and 4a hairtypes in the black hair care world and to put it in a nutshell, that hair just tends to be stronger. Not better, not softer (I wish my hair would be as soft as my mom's) but much less fragile. so, not in the interests of being divisive, but hoping that it will help, here are some things that I found out caring for my mom's hair that I would like to present your friend:

1. You really should NOT redo the most African hairtypes every day, or even close to every day. Over manipulation is death to them. She would be best off finding a style that she can do once a week at most. Some sort of braids or cornrows. There is a conundrum, which is that the braids need to be done tightly enough to stay in for a week and look tidy, but NOT tight enough so that the edges of the hair will rub off. Practice should make it clear how tight that is. Many African Americans braid much too tightly.

2.Not only should you not brush the most African hair at all, but you really should not comb it. Not even wide tooth. It should only be finger combed very very gently when wet. Combs act much like a razor with this hairtype, yes, even wide tooth. the hair will literally be cut off.

3.You should never never NEVER wash it loose. Wash while in braids. You can't wash it loose because it will tangle horribly--and then there is absolutely no way to detangle properly without breaking the hair off. since you can't brush or comb.

4.YOu should never go to bed with it loose. Always be sure it is braided at night (ideally you have it in braids that will last a week anyway) and then also wrap up in a satin scarf that breathes. No cotton scarfs. They dry it out. The scarf is essential.

You just need to think way WAY beyond antique lace. this hair is super fragile. Every time I work with my mother's hair, which by the way is NOT damaged any more and which she does not use either heat or chemicals on (she keeps it under a wig), I am amazed again at the fragility of it and how it will simply rub off even in my fingers, when I am being quite gentle, when it is not protected.

YOu need to find a way to moisturize, because it intensely needs moisture, but if you have a really 4c type, very super fine, your hair is easily overwhelmed by products, gets gunked up and then easily breaks. Its hard to give exact product recommendations. the thing to remember (usually, there are always exceptions) is that water is what moisturizes the hair and then you use products that seal the water in. In a country without products for AFrican hair (which may actually turn out to be a good thing), you will need to turn to natural products, usually oils. Grapeseed oil is very light and may be useful for sealing. flaxseed gel is another good thing for afro hair types (and in fact curls in general). But honestly, you will need to try a lot of different things and see what's suits--products are the hardest things to recommend.

speaking of products, shampoo is almost never a good idea. It is drying--and afro hairtypes need to avoid anything drying. Besides the co-washing which usually helps, some other things to thing about are washing with clay, like rassoul clay (my sister in law does this and it is great for hair) and washing with non traditional things such as aloe vera (from the plant), not the bottle.

I'm not saying not to watch the videos recommended, they may well help and they will certainly help your friend understand the beauty and the diversity of afro hair, and be helpful with styles and so forth. but I just think it would be good for her to know that haircare might have to go beyond what she finds there. However, she should not be afraid. I think that very african hair is often easier than other hairtypes to care for because you shouldn't be handling it everyday, you can wash it once a week, find a hairstyle, wrap your head every night, wake up in the morning, take the wrap off and go.

Good luck to your friend, I am sure she will be a great mother.

[Hairkay]

Africa is a whole continent with a variety of people and there is a variety of hair types. The African country that has the most international adoptions is Ethiopia, hair there can range from type 1 all the way to 4c. Two of the videos mentioned are from African families new immigrants to USA and the UK.

Here's some international adoption videos of African adoptions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNDTUrAAXk8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNDTUrAAXk8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlXErpWiKbk


I

[chen bao jun]

Africa is a whole continent with a variety of people and there is a variety of hair types. The African country that has the most international adoptions is Ethiopia, hair there can range from type 1 all the way to 4c. Two of the videos mentioned are from African families new immigrants to USA and the UK.

Here's some international adoption videos of African adoptions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNDTUrAAXk8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNDTUrAAXk8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlXErpWiKbk


I

Yes, so I said. "I know there is not total uniformity there either."

I was just addressing some things I did not see addressed in the thread so far that could happen. I come from the viewpoint of helping my mom bring her hair back--after learning how to do my hair, I was sure that I could also do hers and not only did I find out that that wasn't true, but I was really startled then to find that there was a real lack of information on ways to take care of the more delicate hairtypes. If I had had only this thread so far to read as that mom in Finland, I would go and buy a wide tooth comb; and comb the hair every single day, probably 2x a day from the information that i have read on here. That would actually work with my hair, and from your information, it would work with you. But my mom would be broken off all over and very literally bald. Though she has very beautiful hair when one knows how to take care of it. So I was putting information on here that was not here yet, because its not here and because it might turn out to be needed, and I tried as hard as I could not to offend.

My mom has suffered with her hair all her life because her mixed race mother had no idea how to care for her hair and I do find that white moms (and in my mom's case, and I have known others, mixed race moms) are very often given information on 'black' hair care that only works with the looser hair types that are less fragile and just keep thinking and thinking its them doing something wrong while their child gets balder and balder and suffers with the hair pulling and so forth and that it might be nice, if it turned out that a child with tighter more fragile hair was adopted, to know that they should be washing their hair in braids and shouldn't be combing, not even with the wide tooth comb when they were three years old as opposed to 83 years old, you know? which was how old my mom was when she found out. And then her hair grew incredibly fast to bra strap--a person who never had hair longer than her ears before. I wish my hair grew that fast. I figured the information was more important than the 'political correctness' for that reason.

[Colochita]

Super comprehensive website of a mother in a similar situation: http://www.chocolatehairvanillacare.com/

She does hair better than I can. Her daughter has fairly kinky/tightly curled hair (type 4) and she links to her friends' websites with children of similar and different hair textures. She has videos and hairstyle examples and explains why she does different things in terms of care. I actually used her site for a while, I probably still can. She's incredibly skilled.

[Arctic]

Wonderful advice, thank you everybody! I have sent my friend the link and she can read this all, I am sure she will find the thread helpful!

I didn't mention the exact country of adoption on purpose, as I am trying not to give any more information of my friend online, than is neccessary. It's good to have some discussion on different types of afro-hair, and also good point that African American made hair videos might not work eventually for my friend's child; same might be with the advice from the Tightly Curly website.

It also good to point out that afro-textured hair comes in wide variety.

Chen, your mom's hair sounds quite a challenge to care for, good to hear you ave figured out a working routine for her! I have lot of kinking hairs (kinky-wavy) too, and I have noticed that if I get breakage, it's mostly these kinky hairs and at the torsion spot (where the hair twists around itself) where my hairs break.

[lapushka]

I got some more YT channels for you:
https://www.youtube.com/user/SecretlyLimitless
https://www.youtube.com/user/GlamMeUp8
https://www.youtube.com/user/expectopatronum91
https://www.youtube.com/user/MissHollyBerries
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHjUxm_4CYIW-xnpJRHOh3g
https://www.youtube.com/user/PGneiicey
https://www.youtube.com/user/thesparkleicious
https://www.youtube.com/user/DiscoCurlsTV
https://www.youtube.com/user/ariandali3

[chen bao jun]

wishing the best for your friend--you are so nice to do this for her! And it is so great that she is making a child's life better.

I don't think my mom's hair would be a challenge at all if the information was out there. It's actually easy to take care of if you ignore everything you have previously learned about caring for other hair types, including some other Afro hair types. And, as I said, very beautiful. the only real problem is that it's so different than what's still (unfortunately) considered 'default' that it's really hard to get the information.

There should be no 'default' for things like hair, to make myself a bit more clear.

[Hairkay]

Yes, so I said. "I know there is not total uniformity there either."

I was just addressing some things I did not see addressed in the thread so far that could happen. I come from the viewpoint of helping my mom bring her hair back--after learning how to do my hair, I was sure that I could also do hers and not only did I find out that that wasn't true, but I was really startled then to find that there was a real lack of information on ways to take care of the more delicate hairtypes. If I had had only this thread so far to read as that mom in Finland, I would go and buy a wide tooth comb; and comb the hair every single day, probably 2x a day from the information that i have read on here. That would actually work with my hair, and from your information, it would work with you. But my mom would be broken off all over and very literally bald. Though she has very beautiful hair when one knows how to take care of it. So I was putting information on here that was not here yet, because its not here and because it might turn out to be needed, and I tried as hard as I could not to offend.

My mom has suffered with her hair all her life because her mixed race mother had no idea how to care for her hair and I do find that white moms (and in my mom's case, and I have known others, mixed race moms) are very often given information on 'black' hair care that only works with the looser hair types that are less fragile and just keep thinking and thinking its them doing something wrong while their child gets balder and balder and suffers with the hair pulling and so forth and that it might be nice, if it turned out that a child with tighter more fragile hair was adopted, to know that they should be washing their hair in braids and shouldn't be combing, not even with the wide tooth comb when they were three years old as opposed to 83 years old, you know? which was how old my mom was when she found out. And then her hair grew incredibly fast to bra strap--a person who never had hair longer than her ears before. I wish my hair grew that fast. I figured the information was more important than the 'political correctness' for that reason.

Good point. I did mention the possibility of styling weekly but I didn't go into detail or mention that there are fine delicate hair types that do best with low manipulation and combing only once a week. One of my links does wash hair in braids.

Oh and it does look cute adding those bandos to the head but they may pull on the hair edges and if used too often cause hair loss. If used rarely use something silky.

[mindwiped]

Most of what I know somebody else had mentioned, but when I did childcare, one of my families who did foster care ended up adopting two of their foster kids (brother and sister-sissy as a nom de plume). The family was white, and none of them had curly hair, so had no clue about the hair care needs for African or extremely curly hair. They were shampooing either every day or every other day at first. Both kiddos shortly ended up buzz cut, it was a necessity (2yr old boy, 11 month girl). Thankfully after that happened they asked a lot of questions. They wash weekly, unless there's a need to do so sooner (little boy got into mud). Once sissy's hair grew back, once a week, or every other week, they would go to get her hair braided and washed. The little boy they would trim his when dad got his hair cuts (they kept it high and tight like dad's, he was a sheriff and I think post military).

Moisture is that hair types bff. When we had both kids in swim lessons, they would have us put pink lotion (link at the bottom) in both kid's hair, and sissy wore a swim cap. Brother's hair was short, so not as much of an issue. From every person with kinky curly hair I've spoken with, moisture is a necessity. Every one I've talked with uses either the pink lotion or something similar. A co worker told me that she washes it every other week, less if she doesn't use a lot of product. She said on a kiddo who's only got pink lotion or similar as a leave in could easily go three weeks.

Very basic info, but it was the bandaid they needed while they learned more. I just tossed the amazon link here so you could see what I meant by pink lotion.

http://www.amazon.com/Pink-Lusters-Moisturizer-Lotion-Ounce/dp/B000GCKD36

[lapushka]

Here's another few:
https://www.youtube.com/user/tycrable
https://www.youtube.com/user/jalapena2007

[chen bao jun]

Good point. I did mention the possibility of styling weekly but I didn't go into detail or mention that there are fine delicate hair types that do best with low manipulation and combing only once a week. One of my links does wash hair in braids.

Oh and it does look cute adding those bandos to the head but they may pull on the hair edges and if used too often cause hair loss. If used rarely use something silky.

:)
Interestingly, I think the hairtype that has the most in common with the most fragile African hair type is what they call 'Scandinavian blond'. Again, the English language is somewhat lacking (which leads to sounding offensive without intending it, and also to being unclear), but I mean that hairtype, it's not necessarily blonde, but always fair, its very very very fine (and pretty, you would say ethereal looking)and you see these ladies also with short hair cuts usually because it also literally rubs off on their shirt collars and hats and on everything else when you wear it loose? If it does grow as long as bra strap or armpit, its got thin, see through ends and just looks destroyed on the ends. I've never seen anyone grow this hairtype long, until I came on LHC, where the advice to keep it up really benefits these ladies.

You don't have to be Scandinavian to have it, and ALL fair haired people don't have it, many have strong hair.

Whenever you see it looking strong and healthy and long, the person wears it up or contained in some way basically all the time, you just can't wear it loose and have hair. And you can't handle it very much. the differences between it and the fragile afro hair would be that the afro hair is even more fragile, because of the weak spots where the curls bend (but the 'Scandinavian' hair is so fragile that this makes little practical difference) and that the 'Scandinavian' hair will show what length it attains, because there's no shrinkage--but this also doesn't matter much because it doesn't attain much length without specialized knowledge, due to the breakage.

It's the super fineness that is similar, and makes both hairtypes difficult. It's like gossamer, spiderweb hair in both cases, that's what makes it beautiful and feel so soft, a quality that I envy, with my coarse hair, but 'challenging' is a good word for it, at least in modern society where the ideal is to wear the hair loose and flowing and manipulated to a high degree. In both societies traditionally the hair was kept braided and not touched a lot--in that case, its NOT problem hair.

[lapushka]

Another channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrr-SPLohUbaGtbUZbc4wyw

[Hairkay]

:)
Interestingly, I think the hairtype that has the most in common with the most fragile African hair type is what they call 'Scandinavian blond'. Again, the English language is somewhat lacking (which leads to sounding offensive without intending it, and also to being unclear), but I mean that hairtype, it's not necessarily blonde, but always fair, its very very very fine (and pretty, you would say ethereal looking)and you see these ladies also with short hair cuts usually because it also literally rubs off on their shirt collars and hats and on everything else when you wear it loose? If it does grow as long as bra strap or armpit, its got thin, see through ends and just looks destroyed on the ends. I've never seen anyone grow this hairtype long, until I came on LHC, where the advice to keep it up really benefits these ladies.

You don't have to be Scandinavian to have it, and ALL fair haired people don't have it, many have strong hair.

Whenever you see it looking strong and healthy and long, the person wears it up or contained in some way basically all the time, you just can't wear it loose and have hair. And you can't handle it very much. the differences between it and the fragile afro hair would be that the afro hair is even more fragile, because of the weak spots where the curls bend (but the 'Scandinavian' hair is so fragile that this makes little practical difference) and that the 'Scandinavian' hair will show what length it attains, because there's no shrinkage--but this also doesn't matter much because it doesn't attain much length without specialized knowledge, due to the breakage.

It's the super fineness that is similar, and makes both hairtypes difficult. It's like gossamer, spiderweb hair in both cases, that's what makes it beautiful and feel so soft, a quality that I envy, with my coarse hair, but 'challenging' is a good word for it, at least in modern society where the ideal is to wear the hair loose and flowing and manipulated to a high degree. In both societies traditionally the hair was kept braided and not touched a lot--in that case, its NOT problem hair.

I've seen this hair type. It's very fluffy and looks great in loose plaits and twists.

Like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXpy4ok-dBM

and this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pwg-yMZJHDY

Oh here's another video, this one is detangling 4c hair

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxNijPl9MVQ

Edges

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ntr1PXpDys

Personally I'd ignore the laid edges look.

[lapushka]

And here's another one (she's very pretty):
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjslJb3rrmUzgA_vdrrtOzQ

[lapushka]

And another few:
https://www.youtube.com/user/thepolishedcurl
https://www.youtube.com/user/Wateronlyhairwash
https://www.youtube.com/user/anna5522

[lapushka]

And another few links:
https://www.youtube.com/user/aucurlsnaturelle
https://www.youtube.com/user/Christidiva35

[Arctic]

I have forgotten to give a BIG thank you for everybody, from my and my friend's behalf! You have all been very very helpful, and we appreate all the posted comments and links!

:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

[lapushka]

You and your friend are very much welcome, Arctic! I hope it helps her out a bit! :)

[DollyDagger]

You're welcome Arctic and friend of Arctic :)

[Arctic]

UPDATE: My friend and her DH are now happy parents of a little girl! They will fly to meet her tomorrow, and will see her the first time on Tuesday! This is so exciting!

[pailin]

That's wonderful! I hope they have a smooth trip and a great time getting to know their little girl!

[lapushka]

UPDATE: My friend and her DH are now happy parents of a little girl! They will fly to meet her tomorrow, and will see her the first time on Tuesday! This is so exciting!

Oh that's great. Well, at least she's prepared. ;) :p

[hayheadsbird]

Congratulations to them! :D