I'm not sure whether to laugh hysterically, or cry hysterically.

[Gamma Vector]

But either way, I'm hysterical.

Today, I went with my SO to get her hair cut. It's a nice salon, my SO loves it. They use sulfate/silicone free products if you want, and generally have a good reputation with me. Well, I've been wanting to change my hair up, and fighting the urge to cut it shorter and put some bangs and maybe layers in. So, while SO is getting her hair washed, cut, and blown out, I decide to splurge a bit and get my hair washed and trimmed. It's wash day anyhow, so I might as well. So they set me up with a stylist, and she asks what I want done. "Just a little trim," I said, "Just an inch or so off to clean up the ends." She says okay. The shampoo was great, it felt awesome, I was so relaxed...She starts cutting my hair, and I'm busy watching my SO get her hair blown out and not paying much attention (big mistake). About halfway through the cut, I started to get the idea that something was wrong. But the way she had me turned, I couldn't see the mirror. So I tried not to worry about it. She finished, asked if I wanted it blown dry, I said no. And so she turned me around.

She had cut thirteen inches off my hair.

Thirteen.

Inches.

She had also put some very pitiful layers in the very bottom of it, but that was far beside the point.

"What do you think? Doesn't it look sooooooo much better now that those ends are cleaned up?" she asked. I nearly had a heart attack. I'm amazed I didn't slap her across the face. I didn't even cry. I very calmly told her that my hair was much shorter than I had expected it to be. I'm not sure exactly what she said next, but it was something along the lines of "all that hair had to go" and that I looked much better now. I was so angry I was shaking. I explained (again, very calmly and politely) that I had asked for a trim to clean up the ends, not for her to do as she saw fit. She still didn't see the problem. She continued to fluff my hair with her hands and coo over how much better I looked. At that moment, it really did take every ounce of self-control I have ever possessed not to physically assault her.

Instead I stood up, marched to the front desk, and asked to speak to the owner of the salon. The desk girl was perplexed, but she also looked a little frightened, and fetched the man quickly. He was very apologetic, and my hairdresser finally cottoned on to the idea that there was a FREAKING PROBLEM HERE. She apologized, but CONTINUED TO INSIST THAT I LOOKED BETTER AND THEN HAD THE BLOODY NERVE TO TELL ME IT WOULD GROW.

I very nearly lost my entire mind. It was at this point that I noticed my SO lurking in the front of the salon, very clearly aware of the problem but also far to wise to get anywhere near me. Seeing her giving me the, "please, please don't murder anyone" face actually did help cool my volcanic rage just a little bit. I explained, very kindly, very calmly, very politely, to the owner of the salon that I would not be paying a single red cent for the haircut. I would pay for the shampoo, as I was satisfied with that service. I counted out the exact change, and left the cow in the apron no tip. The owner of the salon didn't say a word, and neither did the hairdresser. They just stood there mutely as I exited the salon, SO trailing a safe distance behind. The desk girl wished us a good day, which in retrospect is actually kind of hilarious considering the palpable rage and malice I must have been exuding.

So, twelve hours, an entire fifth of Jim Beam, and a lot of work later, I have transformed the mess into the haircut I was obviously asking the universe for. I now have long, choppy layers, fluffy bangs, and waist length hair. It looks pretty good. I need to redo the ombre, but the cut looks pretty good. I didn't know exactly how much hair I had lost until I got back to the house and took a measuring tape to it. Thirteen frigging inches took me from TBL to just a hair above waist.

The really hilarious part is that I've been saying for the last week that I was considering cutting my hair up to either hip or waist, putting some layers in, and cutting bangs. Obviously, the hair gods liked that idea. Good lord.

Like I said, I don't know whether to cackle or cry. So I've pretty much been doing both. Haha. Ahahaha. HahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~

[Wusel]

Thirteen inches???
That's almost all my hair...
I'm sorry that this happened to you but I'm sure that waist length looks wonderful on you.
Hugs from Germany :)

[woodswanderer]

Thirteen inches is insane! Sorry to hear about the experience.

[TwilightShadow]

She calls cutting thirteen inches cleaning up your hair??? shudder:

It always amazes me when hairdressers imagine their own preferences should have anything to do how they deal with the clients, because it's obvious in her mind waist length hair looks better than TBL, no matter what the client thinks or wants.

[restless]

Wow... just wow. One single inch turned into thirteen!?

I first wrote a long rant about disrespectful hairdressers, but then realised that 1: not all of them are actually bad (unfortunatly you met a true dumb***) and 2: you clearly dont seem to need my anger. You handled the situation perfectly fine and that self control of yours is admirable.

Im glad that in the end you do like the new cut, even though you hadnt planned things to go this way. You have my sympathy though, this is a horrible story and Im sorry the final decision regarding the length of your hair was taken away from you :flower:

[calmyogi]

As I was reading I think I could feel exactly what you were feeling. Oh my goodness! 13"?! I probably would of been in such a shock I would of reacted the same way. So much shock that I wouldn't even be able to muster up the rage to express myself the way I was screaming on the inside haha. Hairdressers don't like old hair, I have come to realize, lol (by saying old I mean older hairs that are on your head). They seem to find it this playground for chopping and coloring and heat styling and frying!

hopefully you come to really like your new style! I'm sorry that it wasn't ultimately your choice though :(

[flickm]

I never go to a hairdressers unless I really do want a significant cut. That means almost never. I think their conditioning amounts to almost brainwashing, and they can't deprogram from cut and syle mode. However, she is right, it will grow and is still quite long, and you were thinking of doing it anyway, plus you say it looks pretty good. Having said that, I would not have paid for the shampoo, and I would have demanded compensation for the unwanted loss of 13" of hair. That's a seriously huge amount. Big hugs, and try to enjoy your hair while it grows back.

[calmyogi]

I never go to a hairdressers unless I really do want a significant cut. That means almost never. I think their conditioning amounts to almost brainwashing, and they can't deprogram from cut and syle mode. However, she is right, it will grow and is still quite long, and you were thinking of doing it anyway, plus you say it looks pretty good. Having said that, I would not have paid for the shampoo, and I would have demanded compensation for the unwanted loss of 13" of hair. That's a seriously huge amount. Big hugs, and try to enjoy your hair while it grows back.

Hahahaha brainwashing is right! It's like they can't see longer hair as attractive unless it's been altered in some way. Long hair is just a canvas for chopping and coloring.

[Neelie]

my god how i hate hairdressers like that!!!! pretend like hair is no big deal and it will grow back..
OMG who is she to say that!!?? also, when they say "it'll look better when its grown out slightly" and im like "yeah ok, and till then i have to look sh*t?"
I had that similar experience, she shore me like a sheep, with the machine, and i wanted a few inches of a feathery layered look. no no, all gone!!
and she said it'll look great in a few weeks!! OMG... i just paid and ran out to cry.... i didnt have the strength to argue with them AT ALL... T_T
sorry about your lost 13" :(

[Merlin]

I can see where you're coming from this, and lets face it if somebody just doeswhat we might be thinking of doing doesn't make it better (in the immediate term) if we didn't make the decision.

I regularly consider buying stupidly expensive L series lenses for my Canon...but that doesn't give the photo shop permission to take the bloody money out of my account and send one to me because they feel like it!
I personally think Mrs M would look sensational with short hair, but I'd be enraged if she went in to get a trim and they just bloody did it!

In a week or so you might well be looking in the mirror and thinking you look awesome...but that doesn't make it right that they did it.. Are you still an SO exclusion zone or is she risking coming anywhere near you yet?

[lapushka]

13 inches. I'm proud of you you kept your calm, asked for the owner and didn't pay a cent. I wouldn't have even paid for the shampoo! Good Lord!

[Merlin]

13 inches. I'm proud of you you kept your calm, asked for the owner and didn't pay a cent. I wouldn't have even paid for the shampoo! Good Lord!

It's an epic piece of moral high ground capturing - she won it...totally....and forever.....

[Elly May]

Oh my goodness. Sorry but I wouldn't have taken such a high road. Thirteen inches is over 2 years of growth. If a stranger on a bus cut a foot (what the stylist cut past the one inch the OP requested) off of your hair, it would be assault. And that is said from someone who enjoys her hair, but firmly believes that it is after all, only hair.....

[Monsoonu]

I would have killed her, there is no way I could have controlled myself!

[Laurenji]

Oh man. That is awful! I am so proud of you for handling that so well. I am so I timid probably would have paid her anyways and then gone home and cried.

[wilderwein]

There is 2808180880087790th reason to not visit a hair dresser any soon. The longest they had cut to me without my permission was 6 inches, but 13? That goes the "I suck at maths, and calculating" at a whole new level

[Radioduck]

I'd give you a reward for not slapping that woman. Hairdressers are usually good at cutting too much, but 13 inches when you asked for 1 is waaay more than "too much". It's simply not acceptable.

[lapushka]

Yeah, that is indeed over two years' worth of growth. Darn. :(

[MicheleZ]

Seems I have read this story over and over on this board and the theme is "stop going to unfamiliar hairdressers and trusting them" - for that matter, I've read a few stories of people that trusted hairdressers they know and those hairdressers decided they know better. Main take away lesson for life: If you value your hair that much, never trust a stranger with it. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[Ruzovy]

Oh my god 13 inches?? This is why I won't to to the hairdressers anymore. I am amazed at your self control, I would have throttled her!!! And I would not have paid for anything that's for sure!
I'm so sorry this happened to you, :hug:

[kidso]

At a minimum, I think a civil suit would net you $100 per inch. Not saying to do that, but I have seen that in regards to a case where some bullies held a kid down and cut off his pony tail. Very sad. When I used a salon previously, years ago, I also would state up front that I was only there for a trim...a one inch trim. I would then ask the hair stylist to show me with their fingers how much they figured one inch represented...and I sometimes had to adjust their understanding of that amount. You were as cool as a cucumber! :)

[lapushka]

I see your hair is 3a, could she have been "confused" by the amount the curls bounced up?

[calmyogi]

At a minimum, I think a civil suit would net you $100 per inch. Not saying to do that, but I have seen that in regards to a case where some bullies held a kid down and cut off his pony tail. Very sad. When I used a salon previously, years ago, I also would state up front that I was only there for a trim...a one inch trim. I would then ask the hair stylist to show me with their fingers how much they figured one inch represented...and I sometimes had to adjust their understanding of that amount. You were as cool as a cucumber! :)

I would be tempted to do this as well lol.
Another way to look at it is going after the stylists license. It would be a cheaper route.

[calmyogi]

It's hard using forums on a phone sometimes. Double post sorry.

[Jo Ann]

I'm curious if that "stylist" is still employed. I had a cousin who's daughter had waist-length hair and took her in for a trim. My cousin had to step out a minute to take a phone call and the waist-length hair was almost at her daughter's collar bone.

My cousin was not as self-controlled, and the "stylist" was fired on the spot.

Gamma, you're a better person than my cousin (or I, for that matter) will ever be. I'm in puddles over your loss!

[Merlin]

Seems I have read this story over and over on this board and the theme is "stop going to unfamiliar hairdressers and trusting them" - for that matter, I've read a few stories of people that trusted hairdressers they know and those hairdressers decided they know better. Main take away lesson for life: If you value your hair that much, never trust a stranger with it. I'm sorry this happened to you.

I'm guessing it's a downside of making very infrequent use of a hairdresser, there's no chance to build a rapport with somebody. People who go more often probably get to do that, I think I've said this before, but in the 30 years Mrs M and I have been together she's only had 4 different people do her hair, and she's never walked out with something she didn't want. But of course they know her and understand both her hair and her lifestyle.

[blue_eyes]

I'm not sure exactly what she said next, but it was something along the lines of "all that hair had to go" and that I looked much better now.

Pretty sure I would have committed murder at this point. That is horrific. I can't believe someone would just cut thirteen inches off!! :angry: I'm so sorry that happened to you. Kudos to your for being calm and polite...that isn't easy.

[lilin]

13 inches?! Oh my god. :(

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and like everyone else, I am damn impressed with your composure -- I wouldn't have even paid for the shampoo! I've heard of stylists thinking "one inch" means 6 inches, but 13?! Where did she get off thinking she had the license to simply do that without asking? I'm so sorry...

I'm another one who never goes to the stylist anymore because so many of them can't seem to follow simply directions. I'm not willing to endure the trial and error to find one who does. I'll probably look more awkward than necessary as I grow back out because my short hair cutting skills are only so-so, but I'd rather have that than walk out of the salon in tears.

I'm glad you're making lemonade out of these lemons, and I hope you come to love your new cut, if only so you can feel better. :flower:

[blue_eyes]

Seems I have read this story over and over on this board and the theme is "stop going to unfamiliar hairdressers and trusting them" - for that matter, I've read a few stories of people that trusted hairdressers they know and those hairdressers decided they know better. Main take away lesson for life: If you value your hair that much, never trust a stranger with it. I'm sorry this happened to you.

It's also quite annoying, at least in my experience, that hairdressers seem to move around quite a bit (at least where I live). I'll find someone I really like, go back to them a few times, and then one day I go to make an appointment and find out they've quit and gone to work at another salon. But the hairdresser never informs their clients where they've gone to, and the salon isn't willing to inform the clients (if they know where the stylist has gone) because they don't want to turn away your money. You're basically forced to try out someone new (and risk being very unhappy), or not get it cut at all.

Right before I quit dying my hair this happened to me. A stylist I'd loved for years just left the salon she worked at and didn't inform anyone where she'd gone to. I ended up trying out someone new and it was horrific. I haven't gone to a salon since.

[Ephemia]

Oh, Gamma, I'm so sorry! I think I'd have cried if it had happened to me, or I might even have lost it completely and shouted at her. And I can't remember the last time I shouted at someone. Goodness knows what she'd have done with my hair - my shortest fairytales are around classic or tailbone. She'd probably have lopped off the lot, and probably wouldn't have stopped there. From where I am now to waist is a good 30 inches. Uh... :run:

I don't know why so many hairdressers insist on doing this. I'm considering dog grooming as a potential career, and if I pursue it then I fully intend to produce what my clients have in mind to the best of my ability, even if I think something else would look better. It seems good business sense to do so, and bordering insanity to ignore their wishes and do your own thing. That's like a chef ignoring someone's order of burger and chips and deciding that what they actually want is foie gras.

Gamma, since you may have gone for a cut like that anyway, I hope that when you get over the shock the change will grow on you (no pun intended!) and you'll like what you've unfortunately had forced on you. :flower:

[*ReiKa*]

WOW, just WOW. I completely felt your anger while I was reading, believe me, it was running through my veins.
I am not gonna say a word about the hairdresser cos UNFORTUNATELY hairdressers like her aren't uncommon, but on the other hand I've been lucky enough to find good ones that do listen to you and do the haircut exactly as you tell them. Hairdressers aren't the DEVIL as some people portray them, there are very good ones out there, I have met them and I am/was extremely satisfied with them and wouldn't change my haircut from them with a homemade haircut for anything in the world. Never felt the need to try to cut my hair myself!
I just want to tell you that I truly admire the behaviour you had, I don't think I could have kept calm like that, so well done, and since you had a better look at the haircut and you don't mind it, enjoy it as much as you can!

[sourgrl]

Oh my gosh I would be livid! Kudos to you for having restraint and making the most out of the situation. That was a lot of growth :( I wear a stripped shirt when I go in for my trims so the stylist actually gets a visual on how much to cut off. I also give them an inch for shrinkage: if I want to lose 4 inches, I have them cut 3; my swaves will shrink the extra inch.

Hope the owner compensated you appropriately. ((Hugs))

[MicheleZ]

I think some said and I agree, it's always a VERY good idea to visually SHOW the hairdresser what you want them to take off. Mine always take their comb and visually confirms with their thumb if their "inch" and my "inch" is the same lol.

[Seeshami]

A lot of hairdressers have seen and been able to touch my hair but never ever ever in any amount of time or for any amount of money would I allow them to wash or style. It's just a bad plan. The hairdressers that I see regularly don't even offer to have me come in, they KNOW better. They are sales people it is their job to add on services and they just have this almost ****** for playing with long hair. Fluff me, pet me, but be prepared for hell if you cut me.

I would press charges/take to court. I would go for her license. I would yelp, google and any other review I could find. I would do everything in my power to make her suffer for at least the length of time it takes me to grow it out. But i am vindictive and mean. I would have also asked for the privlage of shaving her head to see how she felt when an inch trim became more then a foot.

[Lady Mary]

I am so sorry... This is one of the reasons I avoid salons, I am terrified of whatever I have worked for to be cut off in an instant :(

[Hopeful65]

I read your story, and then I crawled in bed and had a dream.
I dreamt that my husband cut a big chunk of my hair, from waist up to APL. It was a horrifying dream!
Now I really feel how you must have felt in that beauty shop.

My husband has been cutting my hair for 15+ years or so. But lately I have been doing it myself with my Creaclip.
I think I will be sticking to doing it myself. ;)

[HairPlease]

Poor dear!
I have a phobia of salons. I'm afraid they'll just buzz it off into a tom cruise cut one day.
On the upper note you have healthy ends to an extreme degree. And you get to start a fun waist to TBL journey again if you want. It will be fun! I know it will!
Enjoy your new look, make the best of it, and don't commit murder. It'll be fine as long as you don't murder someone. You know... that kind of crosses a line.
I don't want to say "OMG it's just hair!", but you know, your hair is a part of you and you have every right to be angry about it. She violated your hair. Your personal property.
But, she didn't know any better, she isn't a longhair and doesn't understand our values. She meant no malice. And believe me, she is regretting it, and likely feels pretty bad. And, even embarrassed.

Some hairdressers don't know the meaning of their job. Their job is to cut/style hair the way the customer asks. Not the way they want the customer's hair to be.
She forgot her duties, and ignorance and disrespect for your desires prevailed. It stinks.

So, all in all, I wish you the best with your hair journey. It's better to laugh and make the best than cry and waste your precious time. :)

[Chocowalnut]

I can't believe how well you seem to be taking this. I've heard hairdressers are bad but I never thought they would have the nerve to go that far.. My first thought was take her to court.. but I'm glad you like your hair.

[lapushka]

Yes, I learned my lesson as far as salons go, a long time ago. Unfortunately with a bad cut as well (up to my ears *cringe*). So yeah, I know what it's like.

Give me Feye's and the compact cut method for layering *any* time!

[cathair]

Don't have any guilt about leaving negative reviews all over the web for this place. Please do it. You may hurt the feelings of the stylist who cut your hair, but you have save many others from this kind of treatment and this kind of pain.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It must have been such a shock. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, I don't have the words, but I do have many hugs :grouphug:

[Calaelen]

I am sorry that happened to you, and glad you are able to see some humour in it now.

I would be in jail right now if this had happened to me, but I wouldn't ever put myself in the position, because I don't trust myself...lol.

[DeadlyUnicorn]

Wow that is so awful :( It makes me enraged and want to cry just reading it!! But bravo for not paying and standing up to that kind of service. Their job is to cut your hair how you want it. But I have to agree with flickm, (ok and a lot of other people, now that I've read the whole thread lol) I wouldn't have even paid for the shampoo.

We need like a long hair friendly hairdresser directory.. Is there somewhere to review individual stylists and not just the salons:confused:

[lapushka]

I was just rereading the first post and man oh man, does this bring back memories of that ear-length bob I never asked for (right before graduation (last year of highschool)). Yeah... I know... I know.

This is terrible.

But yes, it will grow and I hope you stay far far away from salons from now on, for hair cuts anyway.

Is this just above waist straight or 3a curly? Because I imagine it might still be shorter when worn curly. Yiiikes. God this is terrible! :(

[Hypnotica]

I can't wrap this around my head. I just can't. Where is the hairdresser's logic??

[pixldust]

From one inch to 13 inches?!! That's terrible! She obviously decided that she was going to completely disregard what you asked for and do your hair how *she* felt it should be done. Completely unprofessional and sadly not uncommon. This is why I'd think twice before I went to a salon. To lose two years' growth without consenting to it would be horrible.
You handled it brilliantly considering how angry you were. I agree with others who have said about posting a review online. You'd be well within your rights to leave a stinking review for them, but even if you didn't want to do that you could leave one warning potential clients that they may end up with a completely different cut to the one they wanted. If the salon doesn't like it, tough. They should teach their stylists to listen to their clients' wishes.

[Robi-Bird]

Holy... just want in the name of all that is holy and unholy was that lady thinking?

I'm glad you are feeling okay now. That said, who the hell says "it'll grow back" after cutting off thirteen inches? It takes more than a year for most people to get that growth back!

[endlessly]

Oh. my. god. I was having a panic attack just reading this! This is one thing I absolutely loathe about hair salons - no matter what you say, they always think that they know what's best and have the right to do whatever they want to your hair. While you may very well have thought about cutting it shorter, the "stylist" (and I use that term loosely) had absolutely no right to make a decision for you - especially considering you'd never mentioned wanting to have it cut any shorter than trimming the ends. Grrr, salons just make me so angry! I'm so happy you were eventually able to get the cut you wanted, but definitely wish you wouldn't have had to go through all the drama to get it.

[FallingDarkness]

OMG I'd be heartbroken.
I'm so sorry, lots of love to you!

I hope that moron gets fired, your hair is still a part of your body and they violated it without your permission, legits the exact opposite of what you asked for. :/

[Kome]

Geebus. Good on you for keeping your composure. I would have been so angry and yelling and crying. I have very little self control when I am upset. Lol. Everyone would have been looking at me, but I wouldn't have payed a cent. What a B@$%! Omg. I'd be sooooooo angry, but I'm glad that overall you kinda like the cut and such. At least it's not a BAD cut. That helps a bit. Keep growing though! *gentle hugs*

Oh.... and this happened to me at a salon once while I was growing mine out and was about waist. She cuts off SIX inches. Not nearly as bad as yours, but still... I had asked her to put in LAYERS ONLY and NOT to trim it because I had literally JUST trimmed it a day or so before myself. But.... she cut off six inches anyways. Ugh. Haven't gone to a hairdresser since then. :(

[TheLuckyLurker]

Wow. I just- wow. You know the part that gets me? Even after you complained to the owner she still had the gall to insist she was right! The nerve!

[Gamma Vector]

Thank you all so much for all the support! It really does make me feel better to know that LITERALLY EVERYONE (here, at least) agrees that I was NOT overreacting to the madness. Here's a bit of info to help smooth y'alls flyaways: Firstly, thirteen inches is just under a year's growth for me. My sister and I both have hair that grows like bahia grass. A year is a long time, but I would be so much angrier if my hair didn't grow so quickly. Secondly, my SO made me french toast in bed this morning, and then we went for a Disney Day, ending with my favorite movie back at the house after fireworks. She knows how to soothe my tormented soul. Thirdly, I have published my displeasure all over the salon's facebook, the stylist's instagram, the stylist's facebook, the salon's yelp page, and google+. The word, my sweet lovelies, is out. And lastly, I really am pleased with the cut. I'm royally p***ed off about how it happened, but I DO like the cut. It's just above my waist when it's dry, and just below my waist when it's wet (I have a lot of waist and very little shrinkage considering my hairtype). It looks nice, and the ends feel great. The only irritating part is that now I have to re-ombre it.

And thank you all for your commendations of my self-control. I impressed my own self there, honestly. I'm still not sure how exactly I didn't beat her to death with her own blowdryer.

Now, some individual replies.


Wow. I just- wow. You know the part that gets me? Even after you complained to the owner she still had the gall to insist she was right! The nerve!

I know - that's what really made me want to murder her IN THE FACE.


I see your hair is 3a, could she have been "confused" by the amount the curls bounced up?

Not a snowball's chance in hell. My hair shrinks about two inches as it dries. My hairtype is 3a, but the curl pulls out veeeeeery easily, which means that it doesn't shrink much. If she'd have cut it up so that it dried at my hip, maybe I could see the confusion. But there is not thirteen inches of confusion, even if she was going for six.


Poor dear!
I don't want to say "OMG it's just hair!", but you know, your hair is a part of you and you have every right to be angry about it. She violated your hair. Your personal property.
But, she didn't know any better, she isn't a longhair and doesn't understand our values. She meant no malice. And believe me, she is regretting it, and likely feels pretty bad. And, even embarrassed.

Some hairdressers don't know the meaning of their job. Their job is to cut/style hair the way the customer asks. Not the way they want the customer's hair to be.
She forgot her duties, and ignorance and disrespect for your desires prevailed. It stinks.

So, all in all, I wish you the best with your hair journey. It's better to laugh and make the best than cry and waste your precious time. :)

Agreed. I grew up in my grandmother's beauty parlor, and I know firsthand how terrible even the most gung-ho of stylists feels when they upset a customer. Even the girls who always think they know best (like this woman did) really were crushed if the customer didn't like the cut. But, just like it never changed one of the girls in my grandmother's shop, this stylist's experience with me isn't likely to change her ways. Hence my warnings posted high and low on the internet that she is NOT long-hair friendly and trusts her own judgment over that of her client.

I've always had an optimistic temperament, and now is no different. I can sit and stew about the incident, or I can go about enjoying my life and my new haircut. I'm trying my best to do the latter. (Oh god it's gonna be a roller-coaster week, though. I kept catching sight of myself in bathroom mirrors and having a simultaneous flush of pleasure at my new look, and rage at how I got it.)

[Gamma Vector]

Internet threw up in its mouth a little, I thought this didn't post and pushed the button again. Derp.

[ghost]

What the hell!!! I'm sure your new hair looks lovely, but to get it that way...ugghh. Good on you for not paying for it, and for complaining to the salon owner.
Thirteen inches off all in one go...I don't blame you at all for being furious.

ps- when I went to beauty school, we were always instructed that at the end of the day, it's not just about the stylist's technique or artistry. You want your guests to be pleased with their visit so they want to come back.

[Johannah]

I respect you for your calm reaction on this. I would have slapped her in the face I guess. I totally would have lost it!!

[wilderwein]

Soo I was talking with a friend of mine that is a hairdresser, but right now she doesn't work as it. And I told her about your experience. She said to me, that all hairdresser she knows including her, have a secret ****** on cutting much more hair that their clients want. The reason is that they themselves actually want long healthy hair, but most of them can't have it, couse their job require trying new chemichals and techniques on their own hair (that means extra damage). So if they can't have long hair, NO ONE CAN'T HAVE LONG HAIR.

Makes sense to me

[flickm]

Maybe this is a modern thing. I can remember, when i was very young, being in the hairdressers with my mother (who was forever getting my hair cut), and a woman came in with her hair in a braid to her waist. She wanted it cut severely short. They tried to persuade her not to have it cut off , kept asking if she was really sure.

[lapushka]

I think the misconception for getting rid of so much length often is tapered ends. Hairdressers tend to think of those fairytales as "dead ends" and like to snip it off until the first sign of thicker ends. I'm not saying this is what happened here, but I've seen that happen more than once.

[*ReiKa*]

I think the misconception for getting rid of so much length often is tapered ends. Hairdressers tend to think of those fairytales as "dead ends" and like to snip it off until the first sign of thicker ends. I'm not saying this is what happened here, but I've seen that happen more than once.

Yes, agree, that's what they really think.

[Ephemia]

I think the misconception for getting rid of so much length often is tapered ends. Hairdressers tend to think of those fairytales as "dead ends" and like to snip it off until the first sign of thicker ends. I'm not saying this is what happened here, but I've seen that happen more than once.

That's why I reckon many hairdressers would chop my hair to tailbone length at the very least. Probably much more, if the above about hairdressers being jealous of long haired clients is true. That's just completely unprofessional, and illogical too. But this hairdresser didn't even stop at stealing 13 inches, she also took it upon herself to put in some layers which I take it Gamma didn't ask for. :steam

At least you're blessed with very enthusiastic hair, Gamma! That probably explains to some extent why you were able to keep so calm, when many of us would have punched her! In no time at all, you'll have a tailbone length version of the cut you have now, and you'll be even happier with it and look even more gorgeous!

[lapushka]

Oh God yes, I'd have created a s**tstorm in there! Pardon the word. :lol: 13 inches. Still can't wrap my head around that.

[Laur]

Oh wow. And I thought the stylist who cut six inches off my waist length hair (taking me from waist to BSL) was ridiculous. (I paid for that cut too. I didn't know how to stand up for myself at the time.)

Sheeeeeesh.

[Gamma Vector]

I think the misconception for getting rid of so much length often is tapered ends. Hairdressers tend to think of those fairytales as "dead ends" and like to snip it off until the first sign of thicker ends. I'm not saying this is what happened here, but I've seen that happen more than once.

This is quite true, but it's not what happened in this case. I don't like fairytale ends on my own hair, and was maintaining a blunt, straight hemline at TBL.

[lapushka]

This is quite true, but it's not what happened in this case. I don't like fairytale ends on my own hair, and was maintaining a blunt, straight hemline at TBL.

Then she doubly deserves what she gets! I mean, you try and look for an explanation, a way as to why in hell did she do that, could she have done that. But no. This makes it even worse!

[Federica]

I don't even know how you managed to not phisically assaulted her. When that happened to me (the girl actually cutted more, but still...) I threatened to cut her hair myself right then, grabbing the scissors with insane rage, then left the place while cursing loudly.
I might be a bit too dramatic, though.

What drives me mad is that the hair killer who cutted your hair was still trying to convince you that HER UNREQUESTED CHOICE ABOUT YOUR HAIRCUT was so much better.
Just have the decency to admit you've mistaken and apologise, for *****'s sake.
I'm deeply sorry for what happened, and just slightly relieved that you don't totally hate this unwanted cut and try to get the best from it.

[Ephemia]

This is quite true, but it's not what happened in this case. I don't like fairytale ends on my own hair, and was maintaining a blunt, straight hemline at TBL.

Then I'm in even greater disbelief as to how in the name of sanity she called THIRTEEN INCHES cleaning up your ends!!!

[chen bao jun]

I would sue. Seriously.

the reason I would sue is that she basically admitted in the conversation you had right afterwards that she heard what you said --and decided not to do it on purpose because she thought you would look better if she did something else.

she cut off two years growth of hair.

SHE CUT OFF TWO YEARS GROWTH OF HAIR.

and although you did complain, you still ended up paying this wretch, who is just going to do the exact same thing the next time someone comes in whose hair is not to her taste--and feel she has the right to do it.

I imagine going to get my car painted, asking for black and getting pink with purple spots...

Wow, jsut wow.

Seriously, you should sue.

[chen bao jun]

Suing might not get you much money, but it would get your point across--and might make the salon consider firing this person, who needs to be in another line of work.

Hairdressers will keep doing this (its happened to me--and I paid for it, unlike you) as long as women keep putting up with it

[Scarlet3636]

OMG, I'm sorry! What may even be worse than the amount of hair she cut off (without your consent) is that she kept insisting that it looked "better"! That's some really poor customer service. I have zero tolerance for stylists who make these arbitrary decisions. Discussing what they think will look good with a client is one thing; but the final call is not theirs. It's YOUR hair, and their job is to make YOU happy.

ETA: If she thought chopping off 13 inches was "cleaning up your ends", then she shouldn't be behind the chair.

[thirstylocks]

Can you review the salon on yelp and warn others?

13 inches is a lot. If that were me, I would have reacted in a more drastic way. She should not be cutting people's hair.

[DeadlyUnicorn]

Suing might not get you much money, but it would get your point across--and might make the salon consider firing this person, who needs to be in another line of work.

Hairdressers will keep doing this (its happened to me--and I paid for it, unlike you) as long as women keep putting up with it

So true! When every person who asks for a 1-3 inch trim and gets a 6+inch trim starts suing, I'll bet hair dressers will start cutting LESS than what was requested!!

Very good on getting the reviews all over though, Gamma Vector. It will hopefully help someone be saved from this same fate in the future :(

[Clarkie]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I just wanted to add that it says a lot about you and your character that you were able to keep your cool and make "lemonade out of lemons" so to speak. I KNOW I wouldn't have handled the situation nearly as well. :blossom:

[calmyogi]

Soo I was talking with a friend of mine that is a hairdresser, but right now she doesn't work as it. And I told her about your experience. She said to me, that all hairdresser she knows including her, have a secret ****** on cutting much more hair that their clients want. The reason is that they themselves actually want long healthy hair, but most of them can't have it, couse their job require trying new chemichals and techniques on their own hair (that means extra damage). So if they can't have long hair, NO ONE CAN'T HAVE LONG HAIR. Makes sense to me

I have always thought this myself when hearing hairdressers talk about long hair.

[Alun]

In previous threads of this kind, people have said that you should never use the word 'trim', because to a hair stylist this apparently is taken as a direction to remove all the 'dead ends', and since hair is all actually dead, that pretty much gives them carte blanche to take off as much as they want. Moreover, once they hear the word 'trim' they disregard any actual measurement they are told. I think this is probably true. What we are supposed to say instead I am not certain?

Anyway, I am yet another who simply stays away from all hair stylists.

[DeadlyUnicorn]

In previous threads of this kind, people have said that you should never use the word 'trim', because to a hair stylist this apparently is taken as a direction to remove all the 'dead ends', and since hair is all actually dead, that pretty much gives them carte blanche to take off as much as they want. Moreover, once they hear the word 'trim' they disregard any actual measurement they are told. I think this is probably true. What we are supposed to say instead I am not certain?

Anyway, I am yet another who simply stays away from all hair stylists.

I guess just saying "cut 2 inches, no more than 2 inches" or something.. :shrug: It's pretty ridiculous they can't just do their job and fulfill the customers request the best they can...

[DweamGoiL]

So sorry this happened to you, but you handled it like a CHAMP!

[trolleypup]

I probably would be in jail. And if not, only because they chose not to press charges. But...it would be a cold cold day in that very hot place before I'd put my hair in the hands of a haircutter.

ETA: in other news, a pet groomer shaved a Maine Coon bald because "he had mats in his hair" without notifying or discussing it with the owner...and, unsurprisingly, did a really ugly job of it. So apparently pet groomers do the same thing as stylists...right down to the self justification and thoughtless suggestions ('buy him a sweater').

[wilderwein]

I have always thought this myself when hearing hairdressers talk about long hair.

Also if you have a great natural hair color they will try to make you dye it. (didn't happened to me yet)
"You need some highlights sweetieeeee, to make your face feautures stand"

It's ridicoulus! It's like going to have a tattoo, and instead of a cat to get a cactus tattooed

[Ephemia]

I probably would be in jail. And if not, only because they chose not to press charges. But...it would be a cold cold day in that very hot place before I'd put my hair in the hands of a haircutter.

ETA: in other news, a pet groomer shaved a Maine Coon bald because "he had mats in his hair" without notifying or discussing it with the owner...and, unsurprisingly, did a really ugly job of it. So apparently pet groomers do the same thing as stylists...right down to the self justification and thoughtless suggestions ('buy him a sweater').

This is slightly different as a matted coat is painful for an animal, impedes their movement and can lead to skin infections, so it's an actual animal welfare issue. You'd be amazed how many owners just don't bother brushing their pets. Having only been involved in the profession through work experience I can't be sure about this, but I would imagine it's not always possible to only remove what the client asks for. On the other hand, if an animal's coat's so matted that it needs to be shaved bald then it's probably a job for a vet, not a groomer. And telling the owner to 'buy him a sweater' is shoddy customer care, regardless of whether or not it needed to be done.

[Tristania]

This is slightly different as a matted coat is painful for an animal, impedes their movement and can lead to skin infections, so it's an actual animal welfare issue. You'd be amazed how many owners just don't bother brushing their pets. Having only been involved in the profession through work experience I can't be sure about this, but I would imagine it's not always possible to only remove what the client asks for. On the other hand, if an animal's coat's so matted that it needs to be shaved bald then it's probably a job for a vet, not a groomer. And telling the owner to 'buy him a sweater' is shoddy customer care, regardless of whether or not it needed to be done.

It doesn't change the fact that groomers/hairdressers have a tendency to be self-entitled know-it-alls who think their way is the only way, which thus makes it OK to violate others without asking their permission first. I don't care what their intentions are.

[flickm]

This is slightly different as a matted coat is painful for an animal, impedes their movement and can lead to skin infections, so it's an actual animal welfare issue. You'd be amazed how many owners just don't bother brushing their pets. Having only been involved in the profession through work experience I can't be sure about this, but I would imagine it's not always possible to only remove what the client asks for. On the other hand, if an animal's coat's so matted that it needs to be shaved bald then it's probably a job for a vet, not a groomer. And telling the owner to 'buy him a sweater' is shoddy customer care, regardless of whether or not it needed to be done.

If an animal has such bad matts that it needs shaving to the skin, that's a huge risk of cutting injury and needs to be done under anaesthetic.

[Ephemia]

This is slightly different as a matted coat is painful for an animal, impedes their movement and can lead to skin infections, so it's an actual animal welfare issue. You'd be amazed how many owners just don't bother brushing their pets. Having only been involved in the profession through work experience I can't be sure about this, but I would imagine it's not always possible to only remove what the client asks for. On the other hand, if an animal's coat's so matted that it needs to be shaved bald then it's probably a job for a vet, not a groomer. And telling the owner to 'buy him a sweater' is shoddy customer care, regardless of whether or not it needed to be done.

:D Level 3 Animal Welfare student here! Perhaps my post should have been two paragraphs. People seem to think I was defending her, which I wasn't. Merely explaining how it might not always be so simple. But like I said, I've only done grooming work experience so I'm by no means a professional.

[meteor]

Oh my goodness! :grouphug: I'm so terribly sorry you went through this, Gamma Vector! :( You handled it so well though! Kudos on that! :D And hey, I'm really happy you are ultimately enjoying the new cut! :)

This story gave me some flashbacks, everything down to the "it's just hair, it will grow!" - not something good for a hairdresser to say after a cut. :ponder:
I do notice a difference in how salons can handle short hair vs. long hair. E.g. right next to me a woman with collarbone length hair would ask for an inch trimmed and actually still walk out with collarbone (slightly shorter) length, looking great but I would routinely get 6-8 inches off when I asked for half-an-inch! What is it? Is the idea that long hair is long anyway, and going from TBL to waist is unnoticeable to people who normally deal with pixie to APL?

I find that what helps is only going for a "dusting" when in reality you are truly ready to lose quite a bit of length: so ask for quarter of an inch if you really want 4 inches off.

Another thing that really helps is to be kind of strict from the start, making sure you leave no leeway for their creativity. Basically, tell them that you've been extremely unhappy with hairdressers in the past who cut more than you asked... this will send a message that you are serious about not loosing more length than you need.

Another thing that helps is going to barbers (they tend to follow instructions) or to hairdressers with long hair or, better still, who specialize in long hair (at least they know how to detangle long hair!). If you can get a good working relationship with a hairdresser who actually knows what you want and respects your vision for your hair, that's definitely a keeper! But of course, hairdressers do move around a lot - but you might be able to trace them to their new salon via social media, if they leave their contacts for you. :D

[lapushka]

I ask no other than my mom to trim my hair for me. Either according to Feye's instructions or the compact cut method for layering (from the book: "Haircutting for dummies"). She never cuts more than needed and wanted. And I've always been happy with her "magic".

I know the temptation to go to a salon, though, even if you know it's not good for you.

[sourgrl]

I second Meteor's recommendations. I specifically chose the stylist that cuts my hair because she has hip length, salt and pepper, curly hair. There was no shame in my game when I point blank told the salon receptionist I only wanted their long-haired stylist to cut my hair because it was clear she really appreciates long hair. Being direct and up front has saved me a lot of grief. My boys (hubby, DS18, and DS6) are in the salon like clockwork every 4-6 weeks. I never experience any pressure from the stylists when I'm there and my stylist knows she will only see me about every 6 months. Or about how long it takes me to grow from hip to BCL.

[brickworld13]

Wow that is so awful :( It makes me enraged and want to cry just reading it!! But bravo for not paying and standing up to that kind of service. Their job is to cut your hair how you want it. But I have to agree with flickm, (ok and a lot of other people, now that I've read the whole thread lol) I wouldn't have even paid for the shampoo.

We need like a long hair friendly hairdresser directory.. Is there somewhere to review individual stylists and not just the salons:confused:

There is a directory for that. Clicky: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=11326

[chen bao jun]

Meteor, this is not true. I never have had long hair and I have been butchered.
Just before my wedding, I went it to get my hair chemically straightened and the hairdresser said she would give me a trim and took me from just about APL to what appeared to be shoulder length, but it was with layers and most of my hair was actually in a pixie, maybe 3 to 4 inches long, with just the bottom at shoulder length.

And I have had too much cut off shoulder length hair before, too. And my hair was not unhealthy at all--I believe hair dressers just dislike seeing hair that doesn't look 'styled'. As in, all one length, uncolored and unprocessed. I don't think its to do with length.




This story gave me some flashbacks, everything down to the "it's just hair, it will grow!" - not something good for a hairdresser to say after a cut. :ponder:
I do notice a difference in how salons can handle short hair vs. long hair. E.g. right next to me a woman with collarbone length hair would ask for an inch trimmed and actually still walk out with collarbone (slightly shorter) length, looking great but I would routinely get 6-8 inches off when I asked for half-an-inch! What is it? Is the idea that long hair is long anyway, and going from TBL to waist is unnoticeable to people who normally deal with pixie to APL?

I find that what helps is only going for a "dusting" when in reality you are truly ready to lose quite a bit of length: so ask for quarter of an inch if you really want 4 inches off.

Another thing that really helps is to be kind of strict from the start, making sure you leave no leeway for their creativity. Basically, tell them that you've been extremely unhappy with hairdressers in the past who cut more than you asked... this will send a message that you are serious about not loosing more length than you need.

[Laur]

Hairdressers who don't know how to TREAT long hair are another issue here too. The woman who cut the layers into my hair last December did a decent job on the haircut portion of my trip, but washed my hair twice with harsh shampoo that she piled up on my head, didn't use conditioner, and then spent 15 minutes ripping my hair out of my head and talking about how damaged it was because it was so tangled.

So I won't be going back THERE again.

[lapushka]

Hairdressers who don't know how to TREAT long hair are another issue here too. The woman who cut the layers into my hair last December did a decent job on the haircut portion of my trip, but washed my hair twice with harsh shampoo that she piled up on my head, didn't use conditioner, and then spent 15 minutes ripping my hair out of my head and talking about how damaged it was because it was so tangled.

So I won't be going back THERE again.

Well, I hope you stopped her during her "ripping your hair out". Otherwise it would be too horrible.

[truepeacenik]

A lot of hairdressers have seen and been able to touch my hair but never ever ever in any amount of time or for any amount of money would I allow them to wash or style. It's just a bad plan. The hairdressers that I see regularly don't even offer to have me come in, they KNOW better. They are sales people it is their job to add on services and they just have this almost ****** for playing with long hair. Fluff me, pet me, but be prepared for hell if you cut me.

I would press charges/take to court. I would go for her license. I would yelp, google and any other review I could find. I would do everything in my power to make her suffer for at least the length of time it takes me to grow it out. But i am vindictive and mean. I would have also asked for the privlage of shaving her head to see how she felt when an inch trim became more then a foot.


I agree, except on the license. If a cosmetologist made a chemical mistake, I'd say, yes, there needs to be a comment in the record. But for something that, yeah, fixes itself by growth, taking away a profession is over the top.

Driving licenses don't get yanked on one non injury, non fatal mistake. (DUI might be an exception in some jurisdictions).

[alexis917]

So sorry to hear about what happened. Your SOs hair turned out nicely, though, right? I would say to be more concrete in what you ask for...but how adding "or so" to "an inch" means a foot is beyond me!

[nicolezoie]

OP: I would not have been so reserved, or kind.

Wow. Just, Wow.

[Gamma Vector]

Well, I hope you stopped her during her "ripping your hair out". Otherwise it would be too horrible.

Oh my god, me too! And she had the nerve to talk about how damaged it was because it was so tangled because she washed it so badly and DIDN'T USE CONDITIONER WHAT THE ACTUAL --

Oh, I'd have been after the owner of the salon at that point. She'd have no less opened her mouth about damage than I'd have been after the owner. Jesus.


So sorry to hear about what happened. Your SOs hair turned out nicely, though, right?
Yes, her hair turned out wonderfully. Different hairdresser, though. My SO has never had a bad experience at this place. She always gets exactly what she asks for, despite her preferred style being very specific and somewhat out of date. That's why I felt comfortable enough to get my hair done too! Little did I know!

[heatherlynnc]

I'm glad you were ultimately happy but wow... unbelievable how hair-butchers violate their customers wishes.

I'm done with them. Earlier this month I lost six inches when I asked for two and now reading this... Done!

[Pat Wright]

You poor thing! I've been to a hairdresser only twice in 30 years. Both times they ruined my hair.

[Laur]

Oh, I'd have been after the owner of the salon at that point. She'd have no less opened her mouth about damage than I'd have been after the owner. Jesus.

She IS the owner of the salon! I actually offered to detangle it for her, got out a wide toothed comb, and gently picked all the knots out. Which I would not have had to do if she'd used conditioner. Ugh.

[lapis_lazuli]

Sorry I'm so late- just wanted to offer my sympathy (though little that helps) :-( I'm really sorry that happened to you :sad
I have to commend you on how you handled it though! Many hugs :grouphug: I'm sending you fast hair-growing vibes~

[Gamma Vector]

She IS the owner of the salon! I actually offered to detangle it for her, got out a wide toothed comb, and gently picked all the knots out. Which I would not have had to do if she'd used conditioner. Ugh.

Oh you're kidding me. Good lord. In that case, I'd have demanded conditioner and to detangle my own hair. But I would NOT have let her get away with no frigging conditioner. Then again, I'm a curly, so I turn into Mufasa without conditioner. But still. Oy vey.

[Wildcat Diva]

My barber says I can come for my very basic trim slathered in coconut oil (well,my hair slathered, I mean).

Which I will need to do MOAR of next time cause I still had tangles and she went to fast combing me. I told her to slow down seven times that rate, and the rest of the trim went well.

So, note to self, MOAR coconut oil applied preemptively during my 2016 trim!

[lapushka]

My barber says I can come for my very basic trim slathered in coconut oil (well,my hair slathered, I mean).

Which I will need to do MOAR of next time cause I still had tangles and she went to fast combing me. I told her to slow down seven times that rate, and the rest of the trim went well.

So, note to self, MOAR coconut oil applied preemptively during my 2016 trim!

Would pre-washed and pre-conditioned work at all? Just wondering if maybe the conditioner is better than the oil. :hmm:

[mallorykay13]

I would seriously rage. This is my worst nightmare, and I'm sorry it happened to you.