Save the Hair, its my BFF guys

[majesticgoldenr]

Okay guys. My bestest friend ever is cutting her hair off. She is African American and says that her hair is a pain sometimes. She also said that it grows very slowly. I get that short hair makes some people happy but shes already gone from Bra Strap to Chin Length and I want to save whats left. It sounds like if it goes short shes never ever going to bother growing it out and that scares me because her hair is cool!

This has been going on all summer.... What should I do?

(Possibly conversation starter: I feel like w/ cutting it you should hold off until like September to see if you adjust since it sounds like during summer youre going to over think things. Play with hair styles or whatever. I guess my thought process is I should obviously hack off my hair to shoulder length or something, but I would hate it short and there wouldnt be much I could do about the fact, save drown my scalp in castor oil every night and hope for the best. )

[woodswanderer]

Well, you could mention the "two week rule" of taking two weeks to think about it before cutting as just a suggestion only if you are worried that your friend will have regrets.

It sort of sounds like that you are the one who is having regrets about your friend cutting her hair though. If that is the case, you should probably just let her be and be supportive. I wouldn't try to convince anyone to do/not do something to their hair.

[Aderyn]

Well, it's her hair and she can do whatever she likes with it.

If you think she'll regret it, mention the two week rule (as woodswanderer said). If she's frustrated with her hair, maybe direct her to some YouTubers with similar textures, like Naptural85?

[majesticgoldenr]

The thing is her depression acts up worse in the summer. I know she's been beating herself up over a lot of stuff and I dont want her to make a rash decision.

[restless]

Like the others have already stated- its her hair and at the end of the day she can and should do whatever she wants to.

However, if you suspect she wants to chop it off because she feels she cant handle it, rather than just wanting short hair because she likes it, why dont you show her this forum? There are threads for pretty much every single hair type and hair related trouble here and Im sure she´d find a lot of good tips on how to solve her problems if she just gave it a try :)

Edit to add: I just saw your latest post now and it seems her frustration isnt really related to the hair. Is she getting help for the actual depression? If not, thats where to start. She can let the hair grow after she´s feeling well again, the hair will grow back if she wants to. It always does.

[Nymphony]

She can let the hair grow after she´s feeling well again, the hair will grow back if she wants to. It always does.

^^ Although I don't know her situation, I think making sure she has support for her depression should be her number one priority at the moment. Sure long hair is nice to have but it should come second to mental health issues, don't you think? Even if she does cut her hair shorter and regret it later, like restless said, it grows back :) Just make sure she knows you're there to support her not matter what.

[flickm]

If I found a friend of mine had posted on a public forum about my personal choices and state of mind, I think I would be pissed off. I think you need to respect her autonomy, while being supportive, though there is nothing to stop you asking if she's absolutely sure she wants to cut it. But at the end of the day, it's her hair and her choice.and whatever she decides, it will always grow.

[majesticgoldenr]

True. At the end of the day I absolutely want her happiness. That was the point of the thread, I suppose, that I am worried about her

[restless]

True. At the end of the day I absolutely want her happiness. That was the point of the thread, I suppose, that I am worried about her

And you seem to be a very, very sweet friend :flower: Its just that it seems like the hair issue is only a symptom of something much larger, and that thing has to be fixed first. Then when she´s feeling better emotionally and when every day isnt a struggle anymore, she will also have the will and energy to take care of less important things. Like her hair. Think about it; when youre feeling sh*t, even the slightest tangle can make you feel overwhelmed, right, whereas on good days you wouldnt even think twice about it.

What Im trying to say is; stay by her side and keep being the good friend you are, but focus on the right things for now.

[Wusel]

And you seem to be a very, very sweet friend :flower: Its just that it seems like the hair issue is only a symptom of something much larger, and that thing has to be fixed first. Then when she´s feeling better emotionally and when every day isnt a struggle anymore, she will also have the will and energy to take care of less important things. Like her hair. Think about it; when youre feeling sh*t, even the slightest tangle can make you feel overwhelmed, right, whereas on good days you wouldnt even think twice about it.

What Im trying to say is; stay by her side and keep being the good friend you are, but focus on the right things for now.

Well said, restless.

[lapushka]

If I found a friend of mine had posted on a public forum about my personal choices and state of mind, I think I would be pissed off. I think you need to respect her autonomy, while being supportive, though there is nothing to stop you asking if she's absolutely sure she wants to cut it. But at the end of the day, it's her hair and her choice.and whatever she decides, it will always grow.

^^ This. I would be beyond pissed, I think. It has nothing to do with you. If it had something to do with you, yes, you'd be free to post, but not now I feel. :) I'm sorry this comes across as harsh, but I had "friends" post about me as well.

[luxurioushair]

If her hair grows slowly she needs to make sure she is leading a healthy lifestyle, is a healthy weight, drinks lots of water, etc

Otherwise of course it'll grow slowly, and nobody likes having slow-growing hair.

[majesticgoldenr]

Then when she´s feeling better emotionally and when every day isnt a struggle anymore, she will also have the will and energy to take care of less important things. Like her hair. Think about it; when youre feeling sh*t, even the slightest tangle can make you feel overwhelmed, right, whereas on good days you wouldnt even think twice about it.

Yeah.

I dont want to turn this into Facebook gossip stuff--I'm sorry guys. And I promise we are good friends-- we were up til 5am talking even though it probably wasnt the best choice for either of us. I can figure out how to take this down if that would be better and we dont have to address her any more.