Need help from you long hair lovers :P

[tweedz]

Hey, i don't really know if this is the right place to post, but here we go, first let me tell you a bit about myself.

I'm 22 and I've basically been living as a hermit due to anxiety and very low confidence issues, A result of this is basically i just left my hair grow because I don't go out, I think I cut it once in the past 8 years. I'm now coming to a point I need to change my lifestyle so I'm in need of getting confidence. The first step for me I think is getting my hair sorted and I'm at a total loss on what I can do with it, if I can do anything. I think its in pretty poor condition, even though I wash it regular I went through a stage of brushing it when wet because it was easier and its kind of just broke my hair all over.

Here's some pics of my hair wet + dry, its very thick and dry.

http://i.imgur.com/dOiCOw5.jpg

That's without brushing it for a day.

http://i.imgur.com/jXPTRbg.jpg

Would love some ideas from people, i'd preferably like to keep my long hair but i never wear it down as i don't like how thick and bushy it is.

[Jynkies]

Hey Tweedz!

Great step forward in making the decision to change things - making that decision is always the hardest part because it involves coming to term with having to face what's kept you inside for so long - it takes a lot of guts to do. Well done!

I'm sure the others here can give you better advice on what you can do to improve the health of your hair (I'm new to this hair care thing) but I can tell you that I've only recently stopped brushing my hair wet - in fact my morning routine involved washing my hair everyday, towelling it dry and running a plastic hair brush through it as I ran out the door and then winding the car window down so it would dry on the way to work and then running the same hairbrush through it when I was getting out of the hairbrush - I also had no idea about detangling so would just rip the brush through my hair - oh! the split ends and breakage!

About two months ago I cut a good 3 inches off it to get rid of a lot of the damage (in the bathroom, with sewing scissors using Freya's method) and resoled to take better care of it, I brought a wide tooth wooden comb and started detangling it with the comb when it was wet and leaving the hair brush till it was dry.

I also started wearing my hair up a lot more - a claw clip was the BEST purchase I've made when it comes to my hair.. I'm not a morning person, I'm always running late and I never give myself enough time in the morning.

Two weeks after getting the comb I brought a bristle brush with nylon prongs and started using that, two weeks later I retired that brush for a pure Boar bristle brush because I found that the nylon prongs were scratching my scalp and if I used the comb first the BBB would actually go through my hair (which I didn't think it would- because I've never managed to get one to go through before)

I've also worked on reducing my washes to every second day and now I was every 3-4 days depending on how it feels.

In such a short period of time I've seen a positive change in my hair (well the chop helped but the feel, look and manageability of my hair has drastically improved) and I've just been doing things slowly and within what I'm comfortable with (and within my time limits - honestly the only time it gets braided is when my flatmate drives us to work and I can plait whilst she's driving otherwise it gets twisted up, claw clipped in place and left)

One of my favourite things to do is put cocoanut oil through it and leave it for a few hours before washing it out - after doing this for the first time i fell in love with my hair again and it fired me up to being more careful

The most important thing is to find a routine which you are comfortable with, that doesn't add stress and anxiety to the process you're going through and can bring you a smile- each little step is still progress and it may be slow and frustrating, and yes, there's sometimes a step back.. but even moving a little backwards before you move forwards is still movement and you may learn a good lesson during that shuffle ^_^

[Wusel]

I can't see your pictures. There's only the icon.

[dancingrain91]

Well, I can't see your pictures but I doubt it's in that bad of shape. I would probably get a small trim to remove some snaggled ends if you have trouble with those (there are several self trim tutorials around this site but I'll be happy to link you anything you need, this is the most popular: http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com/) and then learn to just be gentle. Perhaps do a clarifying wash and a leave in mask, you can use something simple like Suave Daily Clarifying to clarify and remove buildup and then just grab any moisturizing hair mask packet from a drug store (they're usually really cheap) and leave it in your hair for an hour. Unless you have a Holy Grail hair mask you know you love. If you don't already you should use a gentle, moisturizing shampoo to clean your hair only when it's dirty followed by a moisturizing conditioner that works well with your hair. This is assuming you're an S&C person (prefer just the standard shampoo and condition clean). If you want to try some alternate washing styles I would start with CWC (condition-wash-condition) or WCC (wasncondition-condition. This forum is full of information and it can be very overwhelming but only change one thing you're doing at a time so you know what works and what doesn't. Find out your hair type with Fia's hair typing system http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=8954 then find users who have similiar hair to you and see what works for them. It would be really helpful if you could reply with your hair type and hair care routine so that we could help you pinpoint what may be causing issues for you. Also it would help to know how your hair feels to you. Is it velcroey and tangly? Maybe skip the trim for now and clarify and see if that helps you. Can you see split ends everywhere or is your hemline unpleasing to you? A small trim will even things up and remove a good chunk of the damage. Etc.

[tweedz]

Sorry, I'm not good with linking things, I hope this works its the best pic i have so u can see what my hair is generally like (http://imgur.com/dOiCOw5) this is without brushing it for a day, as you can see it mats pretty quickly, my hair is naturally an afro and this has been chemically straightened twice to get it how it is now. i generally just wash it with a normal shampoo for dry / frizzy hair once every other day and use the same brands conditioner. i very rarely brush my hair anymore as its just a pain.

[lapushka]

I think you'd benefit enormously from going curly girl:
http://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Curly-Girl-Method-for-Curly-Hair

And this site is awesome for curlies as well, the rules are good for any curly hair, not just tightly curly hair:
http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome

[bte]

That image is fantastic! I think a lot of people here would love to have those waves. I wouldn't do much other than at most a small trim to even things up, and then tie it in a ponyhtail or a braid to reduce the volume, although the thickness is also something to envy.

Good luck with your new life; hope it works out for you.

[flickm]

Sorry, I'm not good with linking things, I hope this works its the best pic i have so u can see what my hair is generally like (http://imgur.com/dOiCOw5) this is without brushing it for a day, as you can see it mats pretty quickly, my hair is naturally an afro and this has been chemically straightened twice to get it how it is now. i generally just wash it with a normal shampoo for dry / frizzy hair once every other day and use the same brands conditioner. i very rarely brush my hair anymore as its just a pain.

Oh, your hair is divine. i would be happy to put up with a bit of frizz for those curls. You just need to crack the care routine, find what works for you.

[Madora]

Hi, Tweedz! Your hair is pretty! You might want to stick to using a wide tooth comb since your hair is of a curly nature. To help protect it, try separating it in thin sections before your begin to comb. If you start from the ends and work your way up the strands until you reach the scalp, you'll find that you lose less strands when detangling.

Good luck!

[dancingrain91]

Sorry, I'm not good with linking things, I hope this works its the best pic i have so u can see what my hair is generally like (http://imgur.com/dOiCOw5) this is without brushing it for a day, as you can see it mats pretty quickly, my hair is naturally an afro and this has been chemically straightened twice to get it how it is now. i generally just wash it with a normal shampoo for dry / frizzy hair once every other day and use the same brands conditioner. i very rarely brush my hair anymore as its just a pain.

You have beautiful curly hair and might benefit from trying to wash with conditioner only at least most of the time. Just pick up cheapie cone free conditioners from the drugstores and checking out the conditioner only washing thread. Also combing with a wide toothed comb rather than a brush could help too. As far as hair typing goes, you look like you're at least a 3c so you might want to check out users with similiar curly hair. Lapushka is one, she actually does WCC plus rinse out mineral oil and the LOC method for moisture. There are several other 3c users you could observe for moisture, frizz control and detangling ideas. The chemical damage from the straightening treatments is likely causing most of your problems along with mechanical damage from the rough brushing you used to do. Here are some hair routine threads to inspire you:
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=3934
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=126362

Here is the curly thread:

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=369

Here is a newbie thread for some basic info:
https://www.google.com/url?q=http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php%3Ft%3D5090&sa=U&ei=KQScVerNGYH2yQSW4peQBg&ved=0CBsQFjAD&usg=AFQjCNEDNsfpAkb3N324o1cDJzIv6O9sGw

When reading long threads start with the first ten pages and the last ten pages that way you can get the basic techniques and advice in the intro and the current best loved products near the end. Don't kill yourself on information overload at first.

[DaveDecker]

Here is the other image (http://imgur.com/jXPTRbg) from the OP

[gthlvrmx]

Maybe look into CO washing and oiling your damp hair after a wash. Maybe you can try S&D if you don't want to trim too much length to get rid of any damage. If you don't want to wear it down, you can learn some buns to make with hair sticks or hair forks. Even spin pins are good for buns :)

[HappyHair87]

What Bush?

All I see is Lucious-nuss.

[yahirwaO.o]

Well welcome tweedz!!!!

Your hair is in great state and your wurls are fantastic. I've also been living as a hermit like you due to anxiety and my discomfort with general society fads. I decied to grow my hair as a guy but I wasnt longing for such ubber long lenghts at first, but life continued, neglect my hair too and got very long.

Eventually decided to make a major change in hair and life too. It happened when I joined this site. My hair was almost mid back cut from classic lenght and cut it in my current chest lenght. The idea was simple for me, hair was here to stay here but it had-has to be full and healthy looking as opossed to thin, ratty long mess I had.

Little by little my life is improving and so is my hair. My secret is regular micro trim (gain lengh without impossible thin ends), find a nice suitable hair routine, excelent food and georgeous meditation.

In your case I suggest like some have said, curly girl routine (works just fine for guys) with lots of oiling and SMT in order to make the most of your thickness and curls. Learn some simple stick buns, really easy for you since your hair is very textured and above all this, to have a positive perception in life.

Hope you find some other nice suggestions and you start new life with a nice attitude!!!! :cool:

[ghost]

Wide-toothed combs will be kinder to your hair than brushes. Some people prefer wood or horn, but even a plastic comb is fine as long as it's wide-toothed. Washing with a cleansing conditioner or a sulfate-free shampoo and then plenty of rich conditioner will give you curly hair the moisture it needs. I also really like aloe gel as a leave in after I wash, or even as a moisturizing treatment on dry hair. I warm a little bit in my palms, finger-comb it into my hair, let it dry, and then brush/style my dry hair. It makes your hair really shiny and gives a lot of hydration.

[flickm]

And you have an interesting face, sensitive and with beautiful features - good looking guy (and i say that as someone old enough to be your Mum, in case you think I'm cracking onto you).

[wilderwein]

I dont have any suggestions, but I love your hair! It suits you so so much *_*

[EdG]

Welcome to the board! :waving:

There is a lot of advice here about how to care for curly hair.

You seem to be doing a pretty good job, though.
Ed

[chloecalls4]

tweedz, i think you look amazing!