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goldenwitch
July 3rd, 2015, 07:36 PM
Hi everyone :)
I would like to ask your advice on cutting my hair but first I think I should inform you of the situation.
Just yesterday I asked my fiancé to take a picture of my hair for me so I can track the progress of my length. He got a confused look on his face and said, "ehhh I thought we were good on the length?" He considers my hair to be long at APL and when I told him I wanted it to TBL he gave me a frustrated grumble...and I was holding back when saying TBL as I'm half tempted to go to terminal! That was as far as his objections went and he did end up saying he'd support my hair decisions no matter what, so he's not being awful by any means.
I am considering cutting to my shortest layer for 3 reasons: to get rid of layers - this would put me somewhere around the middle of my neck, which makes my heart frown because I have wanted long hair for soooo long now, but I also want no layers. The second reason is because I am 5 months pregnant and I have heard of post partum shedding, so I figure it will get thin anyway, and then the third reason is because my fiancé likes short hair and I figured if I cut short now to get rid of layers it would also make him happy for a little while before I completely ruin his hopes and grow my hair long enough to wear it as clothing haha...
Obviously I do not want to go back to short hair, both because it will take so much longer and because I feel I will be tempted to style it with heat because it will be harder to put up. While I don't want to do it, I know in the long run it might make more sense to do a big chop and get it over with. I'm on the fence and would appreciate any input.

lunalocks
July 3rd, 2015, 07:40 PM
I say keep your goals to yourself and as your hair gets longer, he may not even notice. If he does, he may even like it.

I remember when I used to get a trim every 3 months and Dh would have a fit because he didn't want my hair shorter. So I just stopped telling him. He never even knew.

Now that my hair is longer than classic, it is up all of the time and no one really knows how long it is.

Aderyn
July 3rd, 2015, 07:40 PM
Whichever you decide to do, make sure to at least invoke the 2 week rule - wait at least two weeks before chopping to see if you still feel the same way.

I think it would be easier on you to wait until your shortest layer is grown out a bit further before cutting back to it, though. :)

Sarahlabyrinth
July 3rd, 2015, 07:44 PM
...Also, if you are not completely sure.... don't. A good rule to live by.

goldenwitch
July 3rd, 2015, 07:55 PM
I didn't even think of waiting a bit until my shortest layer is longer...that's such a good idea. Then I can employ the two week wait even more so. And I think your point is good, lunalocks, maybe keeping my goals to myself is best. I also think he has seen a little too much of the gross side of my hair care(oily and flat) and is afraid it's going to be like that all the time and much longer. Thanks for the advice, all!

elsieivy
July 3rd, 2015, 08:04 PM
For what it's worth I didn't have a huge postpartum shed after any of my kids. (I have three.) I may have had an increase in shredding but it wasn't enough to cause any major change to my hair.

Maybe instead of cutting up to your shortest layer you could cut to your longest layer instead and then let it grow for a while. This way you should still be able to wear your hair up and have relatively long hair. Having hair that's too short to put up during the summer can be uncomfortable and I imagine it's even more uncomfortable while pregnant.

lapushka
July 4th, 2015, 01:24 AM
I say it's summer and you'll be glad you have added length to pull it up off of your neck. Now is not the time to cut. Maybe come fall, yes. And by then your layers have grown a bit and you won't have to chop so much off anyway.

flickm
July 4th, 2015, 01:32 AM
Don't do it yet, let the layers catch up some more. i'm regretting a similar chop. Also, wait till you actually get the post partum shed before cutting - no point before. And don't be swayed by your boyfriend's wishes (even if he isn't coming out with them, he's making you aware of them): my man hates my henna - wants me back to greying blonde, but i love my hair as it is. Let him adapt to the increasing length, then he won't mind. A lot of men are scared of change, but don't mind it so much if it creeps up on them.

Wusel
July 4th, 2015, 02:51 AM
Don't do it. I did exactly this (watch my pictures), cut to about middle neck from APL to get rid of layers (I did this in October 2014) and I REGRETTED it so much! Okay, I am APL+ now and have no layers, that's what I wanted, but the time from the chop to now was SO HARD! You have your hair always around your neck, no way to put it up properly... It was a torture.
And not everyone sheds after giving birth.
Don't do it, that's my advice.
And it's YOUR hair, not your fiancés!
I'm always absolutely against involving men in our beauty/style-decisions. They are too blind when it comes to this. I mean, they don't even see our cellulite and wrinkles when they are love-blind so don't ask him about your hair. :D

spidermom
July 4th, 2015, 05:20 AM
Don't do it. Hair naturally is all different lengths because of the shed and regrow cycle. If you just let it grow and trim off a little bit from the bottom every once in awhile, the result will be the same in the end.

Of course if the layers get a lot of damage, the game plan will have to be different.

Deborah
July 4th, 2015, 12:30 PM
just trim an inch off the bottom every month or so, and your layers will catch up in time. You won't miss one inch at a time, and you won't have to deal with short hair again. Win/win. :)

alexis917
July 4th, 2015, 01:39 PM
Why not microtrim? Your hair will probably be up most of the time, especially after you have the baby. Also, I wish it was easier to put my hair up (its a little past chin). I imagine with a new baby on the way, and with this heat, updos would be necessary!

goldenwitch
July 4th, 2015, 02:52 PM
So an overwhelming 'don't do it!' seems to be the advice, and I'm so relieved :applause you all have great points.
Wusel, I agree on leaving men out of beauty decisions! It is the reason I stopped having long locks in the first place! When I was a freshman in high school my hair was around hip and completely natural with sun lightened areas on my dirty blonde hair, it was wonderful mermaid hair and I constantly was getting compliments on it. Then I started dating a junior who told me I would look better with short shoulder length hair and more blonde highlights, and stupid me believed him and I've been regretting it ever since. It is just difficult being so passionate and focused on something like long hair & care and not being able to really talk to my fiance about it. While watching the newest Hobbit movie I pointed out that in a dream world I would have Thranduil's pretty white hair and he said "you're not even going to try?" :rolleyes: I have tried and I completely fried my hair! It makes me contemplate lightening my hair pretty much every day, but I just can't justify color sacrificing length, and I get natural highlights anyway if I let it grow long enough. Maybe I'll take the plunge someday with Olaplex and try to have both long hair and colored hair, but it's going to take some lady nuts.
alexis917, I have been micro-trimming since November when I stopped coloring, and S&D a few times a week, so I will most likely not be changing what I'm doing at all, which is nice!

Deborah
July 4th, 2015, 05:13 PM
Golden,

Oh, don't give in to the pressure to bleach your hair! Natural, darker blonde is so much prettier. Bleached blonde never looks natural, the roots are a pain, and the health of the hair is seriously compromised. Men are not always good at knowing what will look best on their women.

My sister bleached hers for years, and when she finally decided to stop, her natural color was SOOOO much prettier than what she had spent a lot of time and money maintaining.

Alien Girl
July 4th, 2015, 08:43 PM
I say keep your goals to yourself and as your hair gets longer, he may not even notice. If he does, he may even like it.

I remember when I used to get a trim every 3 months and Dh would have a fit because he didn't want my hair shorter. So I just stopped telling him. He never even knew.

Now that my hair is longer than classic, it is up all of the time and no one really knows how long it is.

I do this too, I don't really tell my bf things I do to my hair.
My step dad doesn't even notice when I get my hair cut.

teddygirl
July 5th, 2015, 12:41 AM
I say trim out the layers. So, no to the big chop

Lady Mary
July 5th, 2015, 08:43 AM
Don't cut your hair for someone else. Just keep your goals to yourself and as it grows, they might not even notice. You have to do what makes you happy.

vpatt
July 5th, 2015, 02:54 PM
No, don't do it.! Lol, cut it gradually (if at all) so that you still have length to enjoy and to put up when you want. I agree with not sharing details with the men in our lives. It is not being deceitful, the hair is right there for them to see. But I agree that most of the time they will not notice many of the things we do. It is less likely to become an issue, I believe, if you don't bring it up.

Peabody
July 5th, 2015, 04:48 PM
If you do decide to chop, remember...it's still gonna grow :p

Good luck with your hair goals!