Anger at long hair

[spirals]

Morrison was right; people are strange. I've been pursuing longer hair for a couple of years now and have heard things about it I didn't before. Some of that is on social media, some of it your stories, and some comments on hair videos. I understand and accept that some people prefer shorter hair, but what's perplexing is seeing that some actually seem infuriated that really long hair exists. I've seen statements that it should be forcibly cut off. I've been lashed out at and insulted for stating that someone shouldn't be told what to do with his/her hair. I've heard more than once the exclamation "ewwwww". I've seen friendships ended over long hair. arc691 feels compelled to disable comments on her videos because of this kind of thing. It's just so bizarre. I don't get mad that people have haircuts I don't like. I form an opinion and move on. Maybe with the world the way it is people feel out of control and are trying to control others. That's all I have.

[brickworld13]

You can't be serious?!! This is a whole new level of nuts. They were actually angry :confused:

[Madora]

Unfortunately, not everyone thinks long hair is beautiful. You have a perfect right to voice your opinion about hair but many people just love to lambast an opinion that they don't share. It empowers them to belittle others, and that is sad. Common courtesy for another viewpoint seems to have dropped by the wayside in our world.

[alexis917]

People can be so close-minded about things they don't experience themselves (long hair). :rolleyes: I never understood the hate. It's just like getting your nails done, or buying a new outfit- something for yourself that makes you appreciate your image more. But better... because hair growth is free!

A damn shame people have really lost friendships to something like hair. I know this isnt the place to say hair is trivial, or "it's just hair", but I can't imagine ditching a friend because of something like that. Then again, if you're willing to do that, you must be pretty shallow....good riddance, eh?

[Ambrielle]

I for once believe when someone feels the need to express/feels strongly "repulsed" about something in regards to someone else's appearances and personal preferences they are likely projecting something about themselves. What doesn't bother us will not trigger such reactions in oneself... but of course it takes balls to admit to one's insecurities and self loathing so why not target someone else instead. We all have our preferences and opinions but to intentionally voice them in a non constructive way is pathetic and sad at the same. :shrug: Sigh...

[Betazed]

I can honestly say I've never heard these types of comments from strangers. Then again, my hair is only waist length so it's not long by any means. But I have had ridiculous things said to me by my family. I'm not sure if I've shared this story before or not so I apologize if I'm repeating myself here.

When I decided to grow my hair, I recieved quite a few hateful comments from my older sister and her daugher (who was raised by my grandparents like I was and consider her a younger sister rather than a neice). They both have had long hair as long as I can remember. I, on the other hand, cut my tailbone length to a chin-lengthed bob when I was 11. I hadn't had hair longer than BSL since that time. (Until now, that is) Once it began creeping past BSL, I had both of them come up to me and say "Long hair is our thing. You're not allowed to have long hair." I was completely flabbergasted! It was so ridiculous. Especially when you consiter my younger sister was in her early 20's and my older was in her mid-30s! I just laughed and said "Are you serious? You sound like an 8 year old" before walking away. Since then, I've receieved a lot of hateful comments from both of them regarding my hair.

A few months ago, my older sister said something along the lines of "I don't know why people think long hair is such work. I dont do anything with mine". My neice (who is 6) was sitting there and said "And that's why Nic's hair is so much nicer than yours, mom. She actaully takes care of it." It caused my sister to become supremely pissed and my gramma to spit out coffee in laughter. Neither of my sisters have very nice hair. It's long (I think my younger sister's is TBL now) but it's always tangled and the last 2 feet of it is all split ends. It's dry and damaged and never combed out.

Anyway, I just wanted to share. The state of my hair seems like it's a constant irritant to them and they're always badmouthing me to people about it. It's as ridiculous as it is annoying.

[woodswanderer]

Wow, anger, huh? I have seen some pretty nasty comments on articles online, but never in real life for me.

I must live in a long hair friendly area. I only get positive comments. I'm sure some people probably roll their eyes but no one says anything rude to my face, beyond the very rare occasional young child who tells me my hair is supposed to be cut. Even they don't say it looks bad. It's more to like they are informing me that people are supposed to have shorter hair in case I don't know.

[spirals]

That is actually cute, the comments from the kids. They just don't understand that long hair can be a thing and they're being helpful, bless their hearts.

[Linguaphilia]

I think people are extremely jealous when someone has something extraordinary :S And they aren't conscious of the fact that their hatred is a way to channel jealousy into something that feels better...

[woodswanderer]

That is actually cute, the comments from the kids. They just don't understand that long hair can be a thing and they're being helpful, bless their hearts.

Most kids love my hair a little too much(beware those grubby fingers). I think I have twice been told that I'm supposed to get my hair cut, and oddly enough, both times by little boys.

[WannabeViking]

It's especially a bit rough for guys. I've gotten nothing but compliments from people my age and younger...but let's just say that older people sometimes aren't terribly tactful about their narrow view of social norms ("when are you getting a haircut?" sort of stuff is as good as it gets.)

[lapushka]

My dad jokingly says every Sunday, when my mom and I announce it's time to wash it, "Should I cut it?" - It's a running joke between us, because he knows I'm really determined to grow it even longer than it already is. No hate intended. I get those things!

What I don't get is people wanting to forceably cut people's hair off because they hate it so much; there's a difference. Yes, there can be a lot of hate out there. "Why don't you just cut it!" - "Why don't you donate it?" and on and on and on...

[woodswanderer]

Hmmm....that's a good point about donating. I have had one person who was rude to me about trying to convince me to donate. She laid on the guilt trip pretty thick.

[Frankenstein]

It's especially a bit rough for guys. I've gotten nothing but compliments from people my age and younger...but let's just say that older people sometimes aren't terribly tactful about their narrow view of social norms ("when are you getting a haircut?" sort of stuff is as good as it gets.)

That's a good point. I've had several guy friends and a few boyfriends with long hair and people (not just older in this case, all ages) often made snide comments. "He should really cut his hair" or "He looks gross" type of thing. :rolleyes:

[vpatt]

I liked the response about donating hair to tell people they can grow their hair long and donate it.

I must be in a long hair friendly area. Not only am I letting my hair grow but....oh horrors...I am OLD, lol. But I have actually only had encouragement and even some real compliments.

I came up in the sixties and I've heard quite a few nasty hair comments...usually aimed at guys. And I was told after I was married at age 18 "you are a married woman now, you need to cut your hair. The funny thing is that it was probably only CBL. It didn't reach waistish length or maybe longer until my first daughter was born.

[spirals]

I think people are extremely jealous when someone has something extraordinary :S And they aren't conscious of the fact that their hatred is a way to channel jealousy into something that feels better...

I was the one who suffered the lost friendship and it was admitted that she was jealous. We've patched it up--I'm willing to forgive people--but we don't talk about hair ever.

[WannabeViking]

That's a good point. I've had several guy friends and a few boyfriends with long hair and people (not just older in this case, all ages) often made snide comments. "He should really cut his hair" or "He looks gross" type of thing. :rolleyes:

It's all so silly. I will say that the vast majority of people I've met have complimented me (a lot of female compliments too!) People with not-so-nice things to say are definitely a loud minority. :)

[jeanniet]

It happens with short hair, too, or just about anything you can think of. There is always someone somewhere who doesn't like something, and they always seem to feel compelled to say so online. :rolleyes: I don't know why, but it's definitely not confined to long hair.

[Robot Ninja]

It happens with short hair, too, or just about anything you can think of. There is always someone somewhere who doesn't like something, and they always seem to feel compelled to say so online. :rolleyes: I don't know why, but it's definitely not confined to long hair.

GIFT is why. That's why you should never read the comments on any popular website unless you really weren't planning on using those brain cells for anything.

Whenever I hear about comments like these, I always interpret it as "you are weird in some way and that makes me uncomfortable. I will now express my displeasure and try to force you to follow an arbitrary set of rules that define my idea of how the world should work." Kind of sad, really. But also, incredibly annoying.

[roseomalley]

My older sister loved to say rude things about my growing hair. She would try and get others to agree with her. Last year, my Dh, her DH and a cousin finally told her to stop. ( I had told her to stop many times, but she would not). Finally, after they intervened, she stopped talking about my length. She then moved on to saying my updo was too old looking, and I should have bangs. I had tried bangs, but I decided to grow them out. It is up to me to decide on how to wear my hair. At 69 years old, I think I have more than earned the right.

[flickm]

I haven't come across that prejudice here in England (I'm not saying it doesn't exist). in fact i was looking at the crowd at wimbledon on TV today, and then later at the other people when i went food shopping, and really so many people have really long hair, almost waist length, some hip length, lots mid back. i know that isn't long compared with lots of people on these forums, but it's still way longer than it used to be. i think the fashion for footballers wives, and celebrities like cheryl Cole having hair extensions has made long hair legitimate here.

[jeanniet]

GIFT is why. That's why you should never read the comments on any popular website unless you really weren't planning on using those brain cells for anything.

Whenever I hear about comments like these, I always interpret it as "you are weird in some way and that makes me uncomfortable. I will now express my displeasure and try to force you to follow an arbitrary set of rules that define my idea of how the world should work." Kind of sad, really. But also, incredibly annoying.

You're right about reading comments! I generally try to avoid them unless I'm in a pissy mood already. :p

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I have had one of my sisters say to me that long hair is "gross".

[vpatt]

I have had one of my sisters say to me that long hair is "gross".

Wow and your hair is so beautiful. I have noticed locally that there seems to be lots of long hair. Maybe not super long but at least mid back. Surprised me when I realized it.

[Aderyn]

I think people are extremely jealous when someone has something extraordinary :S And they aren't conscious of the fact that their hatred is a way to channel jealousy into something that feels better...

I definitely think there is a jealousy factor in most cases.

I just don't really talk about my hair or hair care unless it is with someone I know very well or the other person brings it up.

[Sterlyn]

The prejudice against women with long hair who are middle age is really prevalent, and yeah it can feel kinda surprisingly hostile. I don't think it helps that I refuse to color and walk around sporting a color at nearly 50 that most people don't allow to show until they're 70-80, just walking around can illicit strong reactions, especially if it's down. DH has let me know a few times of people (mostly women) shooting me what he calls "death daggers" while we are shopping or running errands. Knowing him he is probably giving them the evil eye right back, LOL he's like that.

Close family and some friends just really don't seem to like the long thing, they might have adjusted to the color if I sported a "stylish cut", which I rarely did while it was colored. My whole family also has the same early onset gray that I have, all of them (baby brother, sister and mother) dye their hair. When I saw my younger brother for the first time in nearly 4 years, the first words out of his mouth were "you look old, like really old". Somewhere in that 4 year span he started coloring his hair. If I had to guess probably my mother helped him do it. :rolleyes:

With the exception of my DH I have never asked my friends or family whether they like the length (or color) of my hair and hell will freeze over before I do. Believe me if they liked it I would hear about it, they hand out plenty of compliments in my presence to others over new color, stylish new cut etc. At least they don't express a negative or nasty opinion, for the most part. The only positive I get from those close to me is from DH.

[Sterlyn]

I have had one of my sisters say to me that long hair is "gross".

And Sarah, just for the record your sister is really mean spirited. I've read other places of her comments towards you and it's just completely uncalled for. *hugs to you, your hair is beyond gorgeous, I haven't made it over to your anniversary thread with a comment yet, but I saw those pics and I was just awestruck.

[Lady Mary]

Sterlyn, your hair is wonderful! I'm so sorry to hear those around you don't agree but I just wanted to say how lovely it is. :flower:

[missrandie]

Sterlyn, I think your silver hair is ethereal. I also feel that once a person's hair is silver, their age is indeterminate and doesn't matter a lick (not that it did before). I love my hair color, but I also embrace the patch of silver that is starting on the right side of my forehead, and mom and I finally encouraged grandma to embrace her beautiful silver hair.

I've never understood the hate, but I now understand the jealousy and mega pressure to conform. People seem to feel the need to pick on those who don't fit their checklist.

Surprisingly, that goes for a lot of groups.

[Sterlyn]

Sterlyn, your hair is wonderful! I'm so sorry to hear those around you don't agree but I just wanted to say how lovely it is. :flower:

Thank you Lady Mary. The folks around here rock, most people IRL don't understand why anyone would even want long hair, much less appreciate it. To be fair I do have to say I've had complete strangers come up to me and compliment my hair, so it goes both ways I suppose. Opinions whether negative or positive aren't the norm, and usually few and far between.

I re read my post and it sounded like I'm angry about others opinions, which really isn't the case most of the time. I think my family is simply a source of aggravation at times (and about a lot more than hair) and I guess it shows. Most of the time I'm a live and let live person. :flower:

[spidermom]

I've never heard it personally, but I've seen some pretty awful comments in the media - like people expressing the opinion that anybody with long hair would be wiping their butt with it. Say what?

[EdG]

I think the underlying problem is that people don't like individuality. :(
Ed

[endlessly]

I've received a lot of hateful comments and even threats about my long hair, which is honestly the number one reason I always wear it up whenever I leave the house now. Sometimes, it is hard to keep in mind that those comments are made out of their own jealousy or even just ignorance especially when they are extremely hurtful. I've had strangers guilt-trip me about cancer patients and how I was denying them hair - one even pointing out that I was "the cause of cancer" because I had long hair...whatever that means. I've had classmates back in school, some that were even friends, threaten to cut my hair or shave my head - I'm assuming those were the jealous comments or at least I hope so!

There are very few people with long hair in my town and it's always a bit funny when I run into another "long hair" because the first thing we do is compliment each other since we so rarely hear it from anyone else! I feel like we're always a bit incognito in order to avoid criticism and only our larger-than-average buns give us away, which, when you truly think about it is actually pretty sad. I very strongly believe that in our society that is so quick to tell everyone to "embrace their individuality" and to "stand out from the crowd" that those of us with long hair are still being persecuted. No, it isn't dirty or unclean - I can guarantee that my long hair is much cleaner than some of the shorter-haired ladies I've met! It's sad that we live in a society urging everyone to be different, but really, you can only be different if it's currently in style and apparently, long hair isn't "in" yet.

[spirals]

endlessly, I know people who would look at your situation and say "Then cut it and you won't have those problems." That's ridiculous; one shouldn't have to cut one's hair in order to avoid violent harrassment.

sterlyn, I CAN'T WAIT to have gorgeous silver hair like yours! You have one of the most beautiful heads of silver I have ever seen. You're like a fairytale queen or something. Sorry, I'm gushing. But it's true.

Sarah, your sister doesn't know amazing when she sees it.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Spirals, thank you :crush:

[Silverbrumby]

My three sisters told me I'm too old to have hair past shoulder length now. I reminded two of them they love botox and i love long hair.

[Deborah]

Excepting my own Mum (who just likes taking mean potshots at me as a rule, so I don't count her) NO ONE has ever said anything but very nice things about my long hair.

I don't know if maybe some of you are encountering local attitudes, or if there are other reasons, but I have never met with any anti long hair opinions at all in real life. I have never heard long hair referred to as dirty or gross or only for the young, except on this board. I have only heard positive comments about long hair (at least for women.)

I guess what I am saying is that I don't think there is a general bad attitude towards long hair "out there." There are nice and mean folks everywhere, and I guess anyone can be a target for meanness, but I don't think we are a special target because we wear our hair long.

I am sorry that some of you have been unkindly spoken to or about, and I don't mean to minimize that. As I mentioned, I have experienced that myself, but it was from someone who just likes to be unkind, and looks for ways to be that way. However I don't think that wearing long hair is generally a difficult social choice, or that we are generally a persecuted or even a 'picked on' group.

Do you folks think differently?

[Alun]

I think the underlying problem is that people don't like individuality. :(
Ed

Exactly. (Extra words to make comment long enough)

[spirals]

However I don't think that wearing long hair is generally a difficult social choice, or that we are generally a persecuted or even a 'picked on' group.

I agree with you here. I personally get nice comments, not mean ones.

The incidences I'm referring to are mostly online, though one was a personal experience. People are really honestly who they are from behind the safety of a keyboard, and it can be ugly. They are few, these reactions, but when I see them they shock me because of the over-the-top bad attitudes of the commenters.

[bte]

I think the underlying problem is that people don't like individuality. :(
Ed
I'm sure that's true! "Why does (s)he have to be different?"

It's also about control. My mother and her friend would complain about their children because of the hair and clothes choices we made. Jeans and long hair on both sexes were going to be the end of the world.

[Luminaria]

Wow. I can't believe people would be angry over the length of someone else's hair. That is so weird.

[vpatt]

The prejudice against women with long hair who are middle age is really prevalent, and yeah it can feel kinda surprisingly hostile. I don't think it helps that I refuse to color and walk around sporting a color at nearly 50 that most people don't allow to show until they're 70-80, just walking around can illicit strong reactions, especially if it's down. DH has let me know a few times of people (mostly women) shooting me what he calls "death daggers" while we are shopping or running errands. Knowing him he is probably giving them the evil eye right back, LOL he's like that.

Close family and some friends just really don't seem to like the long thing, they might have adjusted to the color if I sported a "stylish cut", which I rarely did while it was colored. My whole family also has the same early onset gray that I have, all of them (baby brother, sister and mother) dye their hair. When I saw my younger brother for the first time in nearly 4 years, the first words out of his mouth were "you look old, like really old". Somewhere in that 4 year span he started coloring his hair. If I had to guess probably my mother helped him do it. :rolleyes:

With the exception of my DH I have never asked my friends or family whether they like the length (or color) of my hair and hell will freeze over before I do. Believe me if they liked it I would hear about it, they hand out plenty of compliments in my presence to others over new color, stylish new cut etc. At least they don't express a negative or nasty opinion, for the most part. The only positive I get from those close to me is from DH.

It's hard for me to think anyone would have anything negative to say about your hair, it is so wonderful. Both the color and the length.

[flickm]

I find this all unbelievable. Where do you folks live that have that kind of narrow minded prejudice aimed at them. I've NEVER come across this, at least not since things began freeing up in the 60s/70s and the establishment showed its disapproval. It's insane.

[amino]

Sterlyn, wow. I remember seeing two women visiting Angkor Wat three years back and they had silver hair. I remember seeing their hair and thinking "THAT'S what I want to look like when I'm older." Seeing your pictures, I feel exactly the same way. I'm so glad that you're embracing your natural color—don't let anyone tell you it doesn't look beautiful!

I personally have never experienced any hate for having long hair—then again, I was 15 the last time I had "almost" long hair. :)

[Aderyn]

I find this all unbelievable. Where do you folks live that have that kind of narrow minded prejudice aimed at them. I've NEVER come across this, at least not since things began freeing up in the 60s/70s and the establishment showed its disapproval. It's insane.

I'm wondering this, too! We don't really get this level of prejudice against hair length where I live (which is admittedly a really liberal and even hippy-ish place).

I'm also wondering how much is from men and how much is from women?

[Unofficial_Rose]

GIFT is why. That's why you should never read the comments on any popular website unless you really weren't planning on using those brain cells for anything.

Whenever I hear about comments like these, I always interpret it as "you are weird in some way and that makes me uncomfortable. I will now express my displeasure and try to force you to follow an arbitrary set of rules that define my idea of how the world should work." Kind of sad, really. But also, incredibly annoying.

Heh. I think of those people as The Enforcers of Social Norms. There is normally one such tw*t in every group, be it work or social. It's weird really, because we all have hair. So why is more hair considered "gross"? I don't suppose the Enforcers themselves could tell us, because they don't have much capacity for logic.

Apols if I sound angry, there is one of 'them' at my workplace.

[WannabeViking]

I suppose I'm also fortunate in that my field of study is incredibly accepting of people deviating from social norms. Even in the workplace. I'm glad I'm not interested in a corporate job. :D

[meteor]

Wow, Sarahlabyrinth and Sterlyn, you guys are my long hair inspirations :applause:, so I'm shocked at the degree of negativity you've encountered, and from relatives of all people. :grouphug:
And what's with the mandatory pixie-cut-after-a-cut-off-age expectation? How dictatorial!


Hmmm....that's a good point about donating. I have had one person who was rude to me about trying to convince me to donate. She laid on the guilt trip pretty thick.

This happened to me, too. The worst thing when some woman pestered me on and on to take the bun down and when I finally did, told me I'm selfish not to donate it. It's like: "Gee thanks, now I remember why I like to keep my hair hidden in a bun from strangers." :lol:


I find this all unbelievable. Where do you folks live that have that kind of narrow minded prejudice aimed at them. I've NEVER come across this, at least not since things began freeing up in the 60s/70s and the establishment showed its disapproval. It's insane.

You know some of this is probably limited to specific countries/cultures, I agree. For example until I've been to N.America, I would never have guessed that it can be common for people (I got it only from women) to guilt-trip others with firm donation solicitations, but it happens A LOT there. I think it may even be a bit racial-based, because, as an example, from what I've seen in African-American communities, generally the longer the hair, the better (and gets lots of genuine compliments) and it's seen as a cool thing and a blessing. I wonder if others have noticed this, too?

Generally, I think men and also women after some age (middle-aged?) seem to get hit the hardest with negative comments towards long hair, and why can't the haters just mind their own business and focus on their own hair is a real mystery to me. :rolleyes: :lol:

[embee]

I have never understood the Long-Hair-Hate. I can see that dirty, unkempt, smelly hair might well be considered unattractive, but longhair in general? I just don't get it.

Apparently one is supposed to follow ones own path, do ones own thing, be an individual, *as long as* one follows exactly the current narrow popular social norm. It's so very middle-school it's rather shocking. ;) Are all these people so threatened by someone a bit different?

[Caldonia Sun]

The prejudice against women with long hair who are middle age is really prevalent, and yeah it can feel kinda surprisingly hostile. I don't think it helps that I refuse to color and walk around sporting a color at nearly 50 that most people don't allow to show until they're 70-80, just walking around can illicit strong reactions, especially if it's down. DH has let me know a few times of people (mostly women) shooting me what he calls "death daggers" while we are shopping or running errands. Knowing him he is probably giving them the evil eye right back, LOL he's like that.



Yep, I have had this happen. It's usually an older woman who looks somewhat taken aback or eyes me very suspiciously. I just stare right back, sometimes chuckling. It doesn't happen often. In fact, just today at Starbucks, the barista (a young woman) complimented me. Also, I see a great difference between East/West coast attitudes. There are so many silver long hairs on the West coast, no one bats an eye. But here in the East, long silver hair is not as common ... until I rub shoulders with the art/dog/folk music crowd. Those ladies march to their own drummer.

[Nique1202]

I have never understood the Long-Hair-Hate. I can see that dirty, unkempt, smelly hair might well be considered unattractive, but longhair in general? I just don't get it.

Apparently one is supposed to follow ones own path, do ones own thing, be an individual, *as long as* one follows exactly the current narrow popular social norm. It's so very middle-school it's rather shocking. ;) Are all these people so threatened by someone a bit different?

There are still a lot of strong associations between long hair and "dirty hippies", especially in North America in my experience. I don't think it's jealousy or feeling personally threatened by or afraid of individuality necessarily, just that society's messages about hair are SO prevalent. The longest hair you see on most films and TV outside of pre-haircut on makeover shows is midback/waist, you only rarely see hair below apl on anyone who's said to be over 20 years old, we have commercial after commercial for shampoos and intense social conditioning to shower at least once every day, all on top of the weird prejudices of previous generations that are still very much handed down as stereotypes to the ones that follow.

I rather liken it to the social conditioning that we get against nail clippings (your nails are as clean as your hands, but as soon as the clipping leaves your finger suddenly it's this gross, horrific, unsanitary thing) and leg and armpit hair shaving (barring medical conditions, everyone has hair there so why is half the population expected to pretend to be hairless) and any number of other things. It's just what American society (and the corporations that have driven it) has taught its subjects to believe.

[Sterlyn]

Thank you all for the kind words. When I tell people here that not everyone IRL thinks the same about my hair, LOL I'm really not kidding. Most of my outright negative reactions, were from people I knew, family or friends. But honestly those incidents haven't been often and family/friends know me well enough to walk softly around me with that kind of crap.


Yep, I have had this happen. It's usually an older woman who looks somewhat taken aback or eyes me very suspiciously. I just stare right back, sometimes chuckling. It doesn't happen often. In fact, just today at Starbucks, the barista (a young woman) complimented me. Also, I see a great difference between East/West coast attitudes. There are so many silver long hairs on the West coast, no one bats an eye. But here in the East, long silver hair is not as common ... until I rub shoulders with the art/dog/folk music crowd. Those ladies march to their own drummer.

I am on the East coast and maybe I should visit the West coast sometime, I would love to see other silver long hairs. Yup, I think all my hairy stares have been from older women, for some reason it seems to bother them the most. Can't say I've ever experienced anything like that from any males.

ETA:
Meteor I can honestly say that has never happened to me. LOL No one has ever suggested that I donate my hair, that is one positive about my color, I am spared the BS.

[Nimia]

I rather liken it to the social conditioning that we get against nail clippings (your nails are as clean as your hands, but as soon as the clipping leaves your finger suddenly it's this gross, horrific, unsanitary thing) and leg and armpit hair shaving (barring medical conditions, everyone has hair there so why is half the population expected to pretend to be hairless) and any number of other things. It's just what American society (and the corporations that have driven it) has taught its subjects to believe.

I think you're onto something here… Long fingernails can look elegant on a woman, or super creepy on a guy. Or creepy on a woman if they get really, really long. Sometimes, whomever they're on, they just seem like this: http://www.camelcitydispatch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/nosferatu.jpg

Maybe something similar happens with perception of hair. I love love love long hair, I'm here because I want long hair, and yet once in a blue moon I'm grossed out by it. Weird. What is up with that??

Okay, I just did a little poking around online, and a cursory bit of research suggests that anything "not normal" might elicit disgust, and disgust is a very primitive reaction that can result in aggression. Just because one's hair is longer than average (and thus outside the norm), one might get a very nasty "ick" response from some people. Which is kind of… fascinating.

Either way, it doesn't excuse anyone commenting to us about the hair on our own heads.

[Bill D.]

I rather liken it to the social conditioning that we get against nail clippings (your nails are as clean as your hands, but as soon as the clipping leaves your finger suddenly it's this gross, horrific, unsanitary thing)...

Well, not everyone thoroughly cleans the underside of their nails, which can readily accumulate any number of substances that will tend to stay there if you merely wash your hands. :tmi: That's not to say that I'm never an offender in this regard! :eek:

Bill D.

[Horrorpops]

Double post!

[Horrorpops]

I think anyone who feels anger at another persons hair choice (long/short/ coloured/grey) has some sort of problem. As long as someones choices don't hurt other people its nobody elses business. People who rant and rave online about that kind of thing tend to be pretty unstable.

Basically I think most people who care to the point of anger must not have very interesting lives! :O live and let live in my opinion ♡

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Thank you all for the kind words. When I tell people here that not everyone IRL thinks the same about my hair, LOL I'm really not kidding. Most of my outright negative reactions, were from people I knew, family or friends. But honestly those incidents haven't been often and family/friends know me well enough to walk softly around me with that kind of crap.



I am on the East coast and maybe I should visit the West coast sometime, I would love to see other silver long hairs. Yup, I think all my hairy stares have been from older women, for some reason it seems to bother them the most. Can't say I've ever experienced anything like that from any males.

ETA:
Meteor I can honestly say that has never happened to me. LOL No one has ever suggested that I donate my hair, that is one positive about my color, I am spared the BS.

Sterlyn, I look forward to the day when my hair is the same colour as yours.

[Amapola]

Sorry, kind of a long post...

I was listening to a Native American tell a story about getting on an elevator with a bunch of white guys dressed in suits and carrying brief cases. His hair was about tailbone as I recall, and in addition he was very tall. So he gets on an elevator with all these business guys, who are a little scared and suddenly fall totally silent when he gets on. Just for kicks, he says, in a deep voice, "It is a good day to die.". And all the white guys got off on the next floor... :lol:

I think some of it is actually inspired by fear of something different, which can translate to resentment. Wasn't there some guy going around cutting off the hair of Amish women? (I believe he was put in prison for it.) I think we do try to control each other to at least some extent and trying to get someone to cut their hair is certainly one way of doing that...

Where I live now it's not common for anyone to say anything about anyone else's hair, mostly because there are many tribes of Natives here in NM who wear their hair in a traditional manner which is usually long. I have lived in other states where the Hair Police were out in force, though. When I heard hair comments it was usually women, making sure that other women had their hair all the same. Remember that Farrah Fawcett hair cut? Yikes...

[cat11]

I've definitely heard this type of thing...

Goes to show somebody is always going to hate you. There will always be someone that your way of life basically offends. Take peace in the fact that there is inevitably somebody else who's lifestyle offends you just as much. If it weren't the case there wouldn't be balance. Some people will LOVE your long hair, some will get irrationally angry at it.... that's life. It's certainly weird though.

[Robot Ninja]

I am on the East coast and maybe I should visit the West coast sometime, I would love to see other silver long hairs. Yup, I think all my hairy stares have been from older women, for some reason it seems to bother them the most. Can't say I've ever experienced anything like that from any males.


Probably because they grew up in an era where there were rules, and the only people who broke them were "dirty hippies" and such. Younger women either don't care about stupid rules, or they think you're automatically uncool because you're OMG SO OLD, YOU'RE, LIKE, MY MOM'S AGE, or they do think it's cool that you don't look like all the other "old" ladies.

I don't receive many comments on my hair from men either, aside from being told I look like Lara Croft when it's braided.

[Bill D.]

I was listening to a Native American tell a story about getting on an elevator with a bunch of white guys dressed in suits and carrying brief cases. His hair was about tailbone as I recall, and in addition he was very tall. So he gets on an elevator with all these business guys, who are a little scared and suddenly fall totally silent when he gets on. Just for kicks, he says, in a deep voice, "It is a good day to die.". And all the white guys got off on the next floor... :lol:

Well, this could have to do with racial stereotypes or just general cultural uptightness, but frankly, I'd be worried if somebody who looked just like me pulled this kind of stunt. I might just get off at the next floor in that case. My first reaction was that your story is really funny, and then when I thought more about it I realized that it's not funny anymore. Not these days.

Bill D.

[Amapola]

Well, this could have to do with racial stereotypes or just general cultural uptightness, but frankly, I'd be worried if somebody who looked just like me pulled this kind of stunt. I might just get off at the next floor in that case. My first reaction was that your story is really funny, and then when I thought more about it I realized that it's not funny anymore. Not these days.

Bill D.

Hmm well maybe. I guess I can see a difference between punching up and punching down... whereas, Native Americans are really marginalized I would see this as punching up and would be more tolerant because of it.

I am not fond at all of violent rhetoric and find it sickening in most cases. On the other hand I can not condone how Natives have been treated and do not blame them in the least for attempting to state their case, and completely understand their rage against oppression. In this case I felt it was warranted, and certainly apologize if anyone found it offensive.

[gossamer]

arc691 feels compelled to disable comments on her videos because of this kind of thing.

Has she stated that it's because of angry comments that she's disabled them on her videos? Because as another Youtube video poster with long hair, I'm getting more and more tempted to turn them off because of comments of the opposite sort...

[Bill D.]

Hmm well maybe. I guess I can see a difference between punching up and punching down... whereas, Native Americans are really marginalized I would see this as punching up and would be more tolerant because of it.

I am not fond at all of violent rhetoric and find it sickening in most cases. On the other hand I can not condone how Natives have been treated and do not blame them in the least for attempting to state their case, and completely understand their rage against oppression. In this case I felt it was warranted, and certainly apologize if anyone found it offensive.

Well, like I said I had mixed reactions. I probably would have found it unreservedly funny 25 years ago!

I'm not worried per se about Native Americans or other groups in a similar boat (one created by people who resemble me) mouthing off a bit to "punch up". If I run into this sort of thing I try to take it with good humor, good listening, and forbearance. And frankly I'm far more concerned about violence from people who share my racial background. I think recent incidents, and a lot of rhetorical escalation by certain parties (who again share my racial background), have me on edge.

I'm fortunate that I live in an area that's relatively tolerant of long hair on men, but I do wonder whether my balding long hair is seen in a poor light by some. I've seen comments that men like me are just aging hippies pathetically trying to hold onto a lost youth, which is certainly not my motivation at all.


Has she stated that it's because of angry comments that she's disabled them on her videos? Because as another Youtube video poster with long hair, I'm getting more and more tempted to turn them off because of comments of the opposite sort...

Seems like the comments I've seen on long hair videos tend towards the two extremes. A lot of the negative comments give the impression of trolling, though.

Bill D.

[Robot Ninja]

I'm fortunate that I live in an area that's relatively tolerant of long hair on men, but I do wonder whether my balding long hair is seen in a poor light by some. I've seen comments that men like me are just aging hippies pathetically trying to hold onto a lost youth, which is certainly not my motivation at all.


I never understood that criticism. It's like once you hit 35 you're supposed to get a boring haircut and start wearing mom jeans* and ugly t-shirts and stop doing anything fun and just sit around watching CSI and baking cookies** all day or whatever it is "old people" are supposed to do. Screw that. Why is all the cool stuff automatically associated with youth?

*I don't know what the male equivalent of mom jeans is. Socks with sandals?
**Not that there's anything wrong with baking cookies, if you like baking cookies. Mmmm, cookies.

[meteor]

^ Exactly! :agree:
And what's wrong with looking younger than one's age anyway? It's your body - do what you want with it! :D

[embee]

... and what's wrong with socks with sandals if that's what is comfortable for my feet? ;)

[Aderyn]

Has she stated that it's because of angry comments that she's disabled them on her videos? Because as another Youtube video poster with long hair, I'm getting more and more tempted to turn them off because of comments of the opposite sort...

I've seen a few of those comments on your videos and other long hair videos.. Can't say I'd blame you for disabling comments. You do have some really great responses to those people, though!

[trolleypup]

Most of my negative comments were in the Deep South, both when I was young, and when I returned. Negatives are pretty rare where I am in California...even in more rural/conservative areas. Most that I have gotten are from older women or men.

Judging by comments on this same discussion on the mens long hair board, long hair harassment (and general harassement for being in any way different) maps pretty closely (in the USA) to areas that heavily conservative and pervasively fundamentalist.

Thank you, I'll stay here where people are valued more for their abilities than their appearance!

[spirals]

Has she stated that it's because of angry comments that she's disabled them on her videos? Because as another Youtube video poster with long hair, I'm getting more and more tempted to turn them off because of comments of the opposite sort...

She used the phrases "nasty comments" and comments about "cutting it", IIRC.

[calmyogi]

Most of my negative comments were in the Deep South, both when I was young, and when I returned. Negatives are pretty rare where I am in California...even in more rural/conservative areas. Most that I have gotten are from older women or men.

Judging by comments on this same discussion on the mens long hair board, long hair harassment (and general harassement for being in any way different) maps pretty closely (in the USA) to areas that heavily conservative and pervasively fundamentalist.

Thank you, I'll stay here where people are valued more for their abilities than their appearance!
I find this an interesting perspective because I just moved to TN (which isn't the "Deep" South necessarily) but, I see more young and older women with waist length hair than I did in Northern California.

My hair is only brushing my bra strap so it's not long enough to render any extreme comments yet, but I have mentioned to people how long I want my hair to be and they just kind of respond with "why?" In a more curious manner. Like, "what purpose could your hair possibly serve so long?"

[Wusel]

I find this all unbelievable. Where do you folks live that have that kind of narrow minded prejudice aimed at them. I've NEVER come across this, at least not since things began freeing up in the 60s/70s and the establishment showed its disapproval. It's insane.

Come to North Germany. You'll see is's CROWDED with narrow minded people full of predjudices. You can't imagine what I'm through since I'm an immigrant from Poland... :( I try to prepare myself already for what will come when my hair is butt length and I wear it down someday...

[Dragon Faery]

Sorry, kind of a long post... I was listening to a Native American tell a story about getting on an elevator with a bunch of white guys dressed in suits and carrying brief cases. His hair was about tailbone as I recall, and in addition he was very tall. So he gets on an elevator with all these business guys, who are a little scared and suddenly fall totally silent when he gets on. Just for kicks, he says, in a deep voice, "It is a good day to die.". And all the white guys got off on the next floor... :lol: Haha! I could see my husband doing that! In college he had nearly-Classic hair, which was always back in a ponytail or 3 braids (traditional for his tribe). He's a very nice guy, but also very huge, and he sometimes has "resting angry face" ... so he intimidated a lot of people.

[Daylilly]

I got weird looks from family and friends when mentioning I am growing my hair long. I never thought it was possible for me. But here I am MBL and looking ok. I don't know if the women in my life hate long hair or if they are just not wanting to be supportive. I love long hair and now I have some. Why should I feel bad about it.

[gossamer]

I've seen a few of those comments on your videos and other long hair videos.. Can't say I'd blame you for disabling comments. You do have some really great responses to those people, though!

Heh, I think maybe 70% of the time, I'm able to be amused by them in a way that makes me ask them to explain themselves or just respond by dismissing them outright. But the other part of the time objectifying comments about my hair and body just make me want to block everyone. Usually a good sign it's time to step away from Youtube and get some better perspective on the world. :)

[spirals]

I deleted and re-instated my youtube account so that every comment I'd ever made was deleted. That way there are no notifications of nasty responses. I do not comment now, except on the rare occasion, on a "safe" channel where there is no drama. It got to the point where I hated to see that red bell because I didn't know what kind of insult would be hurled my direction. One time it was in response to my thanking someone for uploading the video. Someone else blasted me for liking that particular music.

To sum up, youtube comments section is the tenth circle of hell.

[WannabeViking]

Youtube comments really attract some of the lowest common denominators of the internet. Only 4chan is worse in my experience. I never read either anymore. :D

[Aderyn]

Yeah... I just try and ignore that little red bell. Or I'll click on it, then instantly click out so the red bell goes away. Trying to reason with people in YouTube comments.. never goes well. :laugh:

[HintOfMint]

I think the underlying problem is that people don't like individuality. :(
Ed

Oh god this is just perfect and so true.

[Wusel]

Heh, I think maybe 70% of the time, I'm able to be amused by them in a way that makes me ask them to explain themselves or just respond by dismissing them outright. But the other part of the time objectifying comments about my hair and body just make me want to block everyone. Usually a good sign it's time to step away from Youtube and get some better perspective on the world. :)

I have 4 YouTube channels. One Polish (lifestyle plus stupid girly comedy stuff), one English (cooking), one Music (see signature) and one German (empty, I don't like the German language) and I started YT 5 years ago so I know what it means... You get insulted every day. For some people there my minimalistic apartment is a chaotic mess full of trash and I'm a psycho. But I don't care. It's just comments, they don't bite you. I've stopped worrying about this a long time ago. :)

[Wusel]

Heh, I think maybe 70% of the time, I'm able to be amused by them in a way that makes me ask them to explain themselves or just respond by dismissing them outright. But the other part of the time objectifying comments about my hair and body just make me want to block everyone. Usually a good sign it's time to step away from Youtube and get some better perspective on the world. :)

I have 4 YouTube channels. One Polish (lifestyle plus stupid girly comedy stuff), one English (cooking), one Music (see signature) and one German (empty, I don't like the German language) and I started YT 5 years ago so I know what it means... You get insulted every day. For some people out there my minimalistic apartment is a chaotic mess full of trash and I'm a psycho. But I don't care. It's just comments, they don't bite you. I've stopped worrying about this a long time ago. :) And YT is not the world. It's a parallel universe where people enjoy behaving like bad aliens.

[*ReiKa*]

People have a really hard time accepting others' diversity. That's all it is.
You can see this with many aspects and with many different kinds of diversity (whole bodies with tattoos, extreme body piercings, extreme plastic surgery, etc), they all have in common one thing, a major degree of diversity, they all went "a step further" (one thing is having 2 or 3 tattoos and one thing is having your whole body tattoed, same with plastic surgery, "it's okay" if you make your lips fuller, but not if you get many other jobs done on yourself) and the same is with long hair, if you grow it too long for normal standards then "you went too far, not acceptable".

And yes, it is true indeed that society will accept you and your peculiarity as long as you still fit in in "normal standards". If you kinda cross the line of normal standars then no, not acceptable for them.

[chen bao jun]

Hmm, interesting discussion.
I never run into negative comments about long in real life, possibly because my shrinking hair never looks 'inappropriate' even for a conservative workplace--though it does look wild and kinky curly. I have never run into negative comments even about that in the work place, though (in spite of the internet being full of claims that people are oh so prejudiced in that regard), I have only run into negative comments from other people of African descent who feel hair ought to be straight and tidy.

When people have been nasty about my hair being long, again, its been in a totally different context, its been women of African descent with damaged hair and a clear chip on their shoulder due to dissatisfaction with their own hair and angriness at someone of the same background who they perceive as not having what they call 'our' problems. As one poster above stated, the community of people with African descent is definitely a place where long hair in and of it itself is always positive, age makes no difference at all. I live though among mainstream Caucasians and they don't seem to have issues with long hair on women in my area either. I think because they are conservative and see it as more feminine.

I never feel that its valuable to bring up or even worry about comments people make on the internet, in any context, where they can be anonymous. Where they can be anonymous and not held accountable, people are always nasty beyond belief. The internet comments therefore don't prove that there is widespread societal bias against long hair. Just that anonymous people are nasty about anything and everything, long hair is definitely not a special target.

This also has nothing to do with 'conformity'. It just has to do with the dark side of human nature. If you don't want to see it on display, just don't ever read any internet comments about anything. Sad to say, most people are really only civilized when they have to sign their names and let people see its them--if they will not be held accountable, all hell is let loose. Literally. this is not the internet alone--think what people get like when they think they are anonymous in a mob.

And sad to say, people of color and so-called 'oppressed' people are just as human in this way as whoever you happen to consider to be 'not oppressed'. therefore, I think it is unwise to make a distinction between 'punching up' and 'punching down.' People should just not be 'punching' period. I say this as a general thing, not as a comment one way or other about the Native American acquaintance and his comment in the elevator. It is currently fashionable in liberal circles to give certain groups a free pass to behave badly in order to make it up to them for some perceived injustice; trust me, giving anyone a free pass to use for vengeance or whatever because you feel it is owed to them is a very bad idea. Look up a few historical events like the French and Russian revolutions.

Besides, to me as a person of color, the phrase itself 'punching up' is very obnoxious indeed. You as a white person are not 'up' and I am not 'down'. We are individuals, and we are equals and I have met many white people whose lives have not been as privileged as mine in many ways--you owe me nothing and please don't do me any favors, just treat me the same as anyone else, which would include holding me accountable for any bad behavior on my part.

[B-ecca]

People need to keep their opinions to themselves.

[spirals]

And witness two stories of people who didn't: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=100809&page=78

[Hypnotica]

Has she stated that it's because of angry comments that she's disabled them on her videos? Because as another Youtube video poster with long hair, I'm getting more and more tempted to turn them off because of comments of the opposite sort...

I don't have a problem with overly happy hair lovers on my channel. I think it is because I never have shown the full lenght in one shot :P

[WannabeViking]

Those of you who have youtube channels should read this: http://youtube-global.blogspot.com/2015/07/youtube-comments.html

Google is once again changing the way things are done.

[HeavenlyTresses]

I never feel that its valuable to bring up or even worry about comments people make on the internet, in any context, where they can be anonymous. Where they can be anonymous and not held accountable, people are always nasty beyond belief. The internet comments therefore don't prove that there is widespread societal bias against long hair. Just that anonymous people are nasty about anything and everything, long hair is definitely not a special target.

This also has nothing to do with 'conformity'. It just has to do with the dark side of human nature. If you don't want to see it on display, just don't ever read any internet comments about anything. Sad to say, most people are really only civilized when they have to sign their names and let people see its them--if they will not be held accountable, all hell is let loose. Literally. this is not the internet alone--think what people get like when they think they are anonymous in a mob.





This is exactly what I was thinking! Thank you [B]chen[B] for stating just what was on my mind :) This whole age of social media has people thinking they have the right to say any nasty thing they want about anything or anyone without consequence. I can wear my hair down and get compliments all day long but as soon as I find a picture of me that someone posted on instagram suddenly I have "dumbass long hair" that is "old". Haha, if my hair is so bad then why did you take time out of your day to take a picture of it and post it? And it kind of backfired on you because it was a beautiful shot on a great hair day and I saved it so :wigtongue

I think for every compliment I get about my hair I get an equal amount of suggestions to cut and donate it. Well, maybe someday I will decide to do that but for now I just want to see how long it will grow. I used to always be so polite when people asked that but some days, after I've heard it over and over I just want to hide it and go home. And for the person who keeps pestering me about donating I tell them that I will donate blood when the next blood drive is in town and I am also looking into donating bone marrow because I think that might be a little more important than chopping off my hair. Thank you, have a nice day :flower:

[*Wednesday*]

I know this is an old thread but wanted to comment. I live in the US, and on the East Coast, people rock their hair so many different ways, among all races. There are people in the White community wearing dreads. People wearing their hair natural, curly and anything goes to natural kinky curls. Long, Short, Buzzed, Pink hair, Blue hair. I tend to think today, we are more accepting (US) of people's individuality in the US. Nothing phases me anymore, accept a slobbin appearance. People coming out of the house in pijama pants (bed clothes) happens and everyone looks and goes.....Ewwwww.

The only hair around here that catches attention regarding long hair, is past the Classic length or beyond Tushy. I've never heard a bad comment. It's eye catching in a *wow* way.

[Britok]

I know this is an old thread but wanted to comment. I live in the US, and on the East Coast, people rock their hair so many different ways, among all races. There are people in the White community wearing dreads. People wearing their hair natural, curly and anything goes to natural kinky curls. Long, Short, Buzzed, Pink hair, Blue hair. I tend to think today, we are more accepting (US) of people's individuality in the US. Nothing phases me anymore, accept a slobbin appearance. People coming out of the house in pijama pants (bed clothes) happens and everyone looks and goes.....Ewwwww.

The only hair around here that catches attention regarding long hair, is past the Classic length or beyond Tushy. I've never heard a bad comment. It's eye catching in a *wow* way.


I was just going to say something similar. I lived in NYC for a time as well as other parts of the east coast and I think when it comes to hair, I've seen everything, but never a negative reaction to long hair (unless it's unkempt and downright unhygienic)

[Alissalocks]

Reading this old thread is just... baffling and sad. Like Ed said, people can't accept individuality. I've never had or heard of a negative comment about hair length. And, like Amapola, I live in NM where there are a lot of long haired people, both of white, Native or Hispanic descent, male and female but more female overall.

And I've had pink and purple hair off and on for years, and usually had so much positive feedback, I sometimes forgot why people were complimenting me. "Hm? Oh yeaaaa, the pink hair, oh thanks!"

[OhSuzi]

I used to work with a girl who was about 4 ft 7, slightly squidgy but not very overweight, with looonnng red hair down to her knees. She used to wear it in a plait. She would have made a very good Viking or ladydwarf type character for lord of the rings.

I will admit My opinion was 'you can have long hair, but then there's just tooo long. Stupidly long. What's the point?'It really bugged me that hers was 'unnecessarily long' and. Just be more of a heavy burden that gets in the way all the time rather than an asset. - I didn't shove my opinion in her face, I just avoided her and probably had a bitchy moan about it to my closer colleagues.

I think I felt that way for several reasons,
Definitely jealousy. I have never had long hair, romantically medivally fantasy long beautiful red hair. I've always wanted to grow it, maybe not as long as that, but long. At that time however I'd just let my newly training hairdresser friend 'experiment' and had an extremely close crop with quiff - it was pretty freaking cool, but complete opposite of long.
Definitely more jealousy, she got a lot of attention for her hair - From nearly all the men in office, she kind of filled 2 ******y / sexy criteria for a lot of them being very short and having long hair. She also got attention from women marvelling and admiring her hair.
Irritated by her behaviour because of her hair and that people couldn't see past it- metaphorically not actually it's not like her hair was swamping our place of work and everyone was blindfolded by reams of her hair. She was just very aware of her asset and would plait and un plait and brush her hair at work, she'd spend all her time flirting or distracting bosses by talking about her hair and generally doing No Work. When she did work, she'd do the bear minimum with mistakes and the rest of us would end up doing/correcting her work on top of our own.
Blokes thought her hair was sexy just because it was long, but never noticed the last foot was in terrible condition, very ratty and thin and tangly - probably part of the reason I considered it was too long and could do with a chop.
Genuine clash of personalities, I like creative crafts and being behind the scenes doing set design and costume design for tv and stage, but I find a lot of the type of people who work in theatre very 'luvvie' 'darling' pushy, loud, vain, attention seeking, over dramatic, ungenuine type people who drive me nuts. This was her, she was working in an office, but was amateur performer in her own time and she used to sing operatically in people's faces and there was a mildly arrogant air of you guys are just office plebs, I'm just doing this to fill in time before I become a star. And she didn't like me because I didn't fuss over her or comment on her hair, or acquiesce to all hr demands 'fetch me those files my love, or be a poppet and take this last case for me I simply don't have time'.

I think if we'd got on, my jealousy would have become admiration, but because I disliked her in general (whether this was because she was a bit rubbish or because I have issues) this dislike leaked into every aspect, so it probably wasn't really about her hair or her height or anything superficial, but her hair was a big and obvious target.

Supposedly older and wiser I'd probably still not get on with her if I met her now, but it's not about her hair.
I guess what I'm trying to say is people are dicks, people are entitled to their opinions, but youre entitled not to have to listen to them or agree with them. If they're mean about your hair, theyre either jealous or there are other issues between the two of you that leak out as snide hair comments, or both.

And I'm here now trying to grow mine as long as possible.

[Mrstran]

I haven't heard these comments online yet (where have I been?) but I have heard mean ones in person. My mother being one of the rude commenters herself. While she had Hip to TLB hair in her twenties she finds that perfectly acceptable. However, to her it all depends on age and not just age, length at any age as well. Her standards are, anything below TBL is not is not appropriate on anyone older than like 29. Shoulder length ok until you are are around in your 60's or so, then it must be cut extremely short.

Man! She might hate my hair! Lol She has this idea stuck in her head that inappropriate age/length hair looks dirty and unkempt no matter what you do. This is so very far from the truth. What I think the issue is, she has yet to see long beautiful hair. The only examples she sees on a regular basis are the examples in the town near where she lives, where there are few good examples.

I'm hoping in a few years to show her that she was wrong. Yet another motivation.

[Jadestorm]

Really?!?! :eek:
WOW. Some people are so rude nowadays! Especially on social media.
Luckily I haven't gotten those types of comments that you speak of about my hair length. (or at least not so far) I did get quite a bit of mean comments about my short bangs from a few years back. It baffled me. I know my bangs were a bit unusual, but I loved them and that's all that matters. It's so strange to me that some people feel the need to write down everything that pops into their head. And especially how negative those things they're thinking of are.
If you don't have anything nice to say, just keep your mouth shut and don't type either ;)

Anyone who chooses to use their time to spread negativity over using it to do something positive, needs to really work on their EQ (emotional intelligence) and maturity.
But they're trolls/haters and there's this saying that I really like: 'Whoever tries to bring you down is already below you.' Try to not give those people any power, because their uncalled for, negative opinions are completely irrelevant.

Friendships ended over long hair??? Then those weren't friendships at all...

[lithostoic]

Can't wait to start hearing comments from my family about how it's "too long". My goal right now is virgin waist but I think after that I may try growing as long as it will go.

[Aredhel]

Both of my mother and MIL have urged me to cut it shorter because it's "too long". Both have repeatedly offered to do it for me, and you can often see in their eyes that they're dying to do it. It's frustrating. I've seen some really rude comments posted on YouTube vids before made by people with long hair. It makes me really sad. :(

[littlestarface]

I used to work with a girl who was about 4 ft 7, slightly squidgy but not very overweight, with looonnng red hair down to her knees. She used to wear it in a plait. She would have made a very good Viking or ladydwarf type character for lord of the rings.

I will admit My opinion was 'you can have long hair, but then there's just tooo long. Stupidly long. What's the point?'It really bugged me that hers was 'unnecessarily long' and. Just be more of a heavy burden that gets in the way all the time rather than an asset. - I didn't shove my opinion in her face, I just avoided her and probably had a bitchy moan about it to my closer colleagues.

I think I felt that way for several reasons,
Definitely jealousy. I have never had long hair, romantically medivally fantasy long beautiful red hair. I've always wanted to grow it, maybe not as long as that, but long. At that time however I'd just let my newly training hairdresser friend 'experiment' and had an extremely close crop with quiff - it was pretty freaking cool, but complete opposite of long.
Definitely more jealousy, she got a lot of attention for her hair - From nearly all the men in office, she kind of filled 2 ******y / sexy criteria for a lot of them being very short and having long hair. She also got attention from women marvelling and admiring her hair.
Irritated by her behaviour because of her hair and that people couldn't see past it- metaphorically not actually it's not like her hair was swamping our place of work and everyone was blindfolded by reams of her hair. She was just very aware of her asset and would plait and un plait and brush her hair at work, she'd spend all her time flirting or distracting bosses by talking about her hair and generally doing No Work. When she did work, she'd do the bear minimum with mistakes and the rest of us would end up doing/correcting her work on top of our own.
Blokes thought her hair was sexy just because it was long, but never noticed the last foot was in terrible condition, very ratty and thin and tangly - probably part of the reason I considered it was too long and could do with a chop.
Genuine clash of personalities, I like creative crafts and being behind the scenes doing set design and costume design for tv and stage, but I find a lot of the type of people who work in theatre very 'luvvie' 'darling' pushy, loud, vain, attention seeking, over dramatic, ungenuine type people who drive me nuts. This was her, she was working in an office, but was amateur performer in her own time and she used to sing operatically in people's faces and there was a mildly arrogant air of you guys are just office plebs, I'm just doing this to fill in time before I become a star. And she didn't like me because I didn't fuss over her or comment on her hair, or acquiesce to all hr demands 'fetch me those files my love, or be a poppet and take this last case for me I simply don't have time'.

I think if we'd got on, my jealousy would have become admiration, but because I disliked her in general (whether this was because she was a bit rubbish or because I have issues) this dislike leaked into every aspect, so it probably wasn't really about her hair or her height or anything superficial, but her hair was a big and obvious target.

Supposedly older and wiser I'd probably still not get on with her if I met her now, but it's not about her hair.
I guess what I'm trying to say is people are dicks, people are entitled to their opinions, but youre entitled not to have to listen to them or agree with them. If they're mean about your hair, theyre either jealous or there are other issues between the two of you that leak out as snide hair comments, or both.

And I'm here now trying to grow mine as long as possible.

Wow ouch, i'm 4'8' and your comment hurt me in a way,especially the dwarf/****** part, I guess cuz for some reason people always had a problem with my height. It's a good thing your not around this girl no more.

[Luvmyhubby]

Healthy long hair doesn't bother me. On any age person. It's when long hair is not taken care of. Split and straggly ends. Or just never doing anything with the long hair. But! I keep those thoughts to myself.
My MIL once told me that older women shouldn't have long hair. She has hers short. When she was younger (20s) she had very long hair.
Ah well. To each their own.

[*Wednesday*]

Wow ouch, i'm 4'8' and your comment hurt me in a way,especially the dwarf/****** part, I guess cuz for some reason people always had a problem with my height. It's a good thing your not around this girl no more.

My paternal grandma was 4'10. I'm 5'1 and often joked at my height.

A note...I didn't find that posters comments regarding height essential to the topic and unnecessary. People can suffer from dwarfism called achrondoplasia which their bodies are disproportionate. I feel bad you felt offended.