I can't seem to get to love my virgin hair color...

[Bambi]

....and it makes me feel ashamed...I love natural make-up etc but I have always wanted to be a blonde...when I was a child my hair was honey blonde...now it's copper-brown...I sound so ungrateful but I just had to vent.
I don't "feel" that I'm a brunette inside somehow.
Anyone else feel the same way?

[endlessly]

I have naturally golden brown hair, but I've been coloring it reddish brown for nearly ten years. It isn't that I hate my natural color, I just don't feel that it looks good on me and even a slight bit of red does so much more for my skin tone and features. Now, I've decided to stop coloring it red after I've faded it a bit so the natural growth will blend better with the portion that is color-treated, but I still feel the constant urge to color it. However, I just try to remind myself about how damaging it is, how much work it is, and how much of a pain it is to upkeep - and while it helps to reaffirm that in my mind, I still find myself searching for the "perfect red" and not looking forward to the return of my natural brown.

[leilani]

I'm not loving mine. I've vowed to give it a couple years to grow out and show itself in all its dimension before going back to highlights though. It's been under 1 year so far and I'm very unimpressed.

[omega]

..........

[Nettyx]

I'm a light blonette but wish I was a brunette. My sister has lovely chocolate waves and brown eyes like Dad(I have blue eyes and straight blonde hair like Mum) and when I was a younger my mum said my sister was like Rita Hayworth all vivacious and I was more Grace Kelly. I think she was trying to pacify me as men flocked to my sister like moths to a flame and I was kinda shy but I didn't like Grace Kelly. What did I know, I'd love to be compared to her now! I'm learning to like my blonette, it is getting darker as I age and I'm even embracing the grey starting to poke through (nature's sparkles).

[Arctic]

I'm not loving mine. I've vowed to give it a couple years to grow out and show itself in all its dimension before going back to highlights though. It's been under 1 year so far and I'm very unimpressed. Really? I think yours is very very pretty!

[Arctic]

....and it makes me feel ashamed...I love natural make-up etc but I have always wanted to be a blonde...when I was a child my hair was honey blonde...now it's copper-brown...I sound so ungrateful but I just had to vent.
I don't "feel" that I'm a brunette inside somehow.
Anyone else feel the same way?


Well, I used to. I wanted to be redhead, and dyed my hair 2 decades. Now I love my own colour. :)
I haven't experienced a drastic hair colour change myself, but I went through a hair type change, so I can understand somewhat how you feel. I just have been actively trying to accept and learn to like my new hair type, and while very slowly, it has been working and I have been going through a major attitude change. I think I can honestly say these days that I like my new texture too! :)

You know, many longhairs are able to bleach or highlight their hair and still keep the length looking good. Maybe you are one of them? Spending years being miserable with your hair, having a sinking feeling each time you look into the mirror might not be worth it. (Ofcourse I don't know if you feel like this, it's just an example.) Maybe just few highlights around your face would be all you need. Also, if you are not actively growing your hair, and have reached the maintaining length/phase, then you have a bit more leeway anyway as you can trim your hair more.

[Robot Ninja]

It's nothing to be ashamed of. You are under no obligation to love your natural color.

I hate my natural color. It doesn't suit my style and washes me out. I've been dyeing my hair since I was 16 and I don't intend to stop until it's pretty much all grey.


I have naturally golden brown hair, but I've been coloring it reddish brown for nearly ten years. It isn't that I hate my natural color, I just don't feel that it looks good on me and even a slight bit of red does so much more for my skin tone and features. Now, I've decided to stop coloring it red after I've faded it a bit so the natural growth will blend better with the portion that is color-treated, but I still feel the constant urge to color it. However, I just try to remind myself about how damaging it is, how much work it is, and how much of a pain it is to upkeep - and while it helps to reaffirm that in my mind, I still find myself searching for the "perfect red" and not looking forward to the return of my natural brown.

You could try a gloss with a semi-permanent dye mixed with conditioner. It would give you the red tint with no damage, and it would fade as it grows out so if you don't feel like keeping it up you wouldn't have an obvious demarcation line.

[Johannah]

Yes, I always felt like that too. I always wanted to have lighter hair, so I bleached it. I started to embrace my natural color since jointing tLHC. Making pictures of my hair color in sunshine helped with that as well, it made me realize my hair color isn't as ugly as I first thought :lol: I really do like it now :)

[cat11]

I have naturally golden brown hair, but I've been coloring it reddish brown for nearly ten years. It isn't that I hate my natural color, I just don't feel that it looks good on me and even a slight bit of red does so much more for my skin tone and features. Now, I've decided to stop coloring it red after I've faded it a bit so the natural growth will blend better with the portion that is color-treated, but I still feel the constant urge to color it. However, I just try to remind myself about how damaging it is, how much work it is, and how much of a pain it is to upkeep - and while it helps to reaffirm that in my mind, I still find myself searching for the "perfect red" and not looking forward to the return of my natural brown.

Maybe you could try henna? Less damage with just as much red and people seem to be able to tweak it to exactly what they want

[flickm]

I was happy being warm blonde but got fedup with trying to blend in the increasing grey, which makes me look older (I started going grey when i was 19, so for a long time i didn't associate it with ageing). So now I henna it - which was kind of a sudden impulse a few weeks ago - but that's sort of natural in a way as it doesn't look the same from person to person, unlike dyes, and is dependant on your starting colour and adapts to all your own tones and shades. Henna seems very me: when i was in my teens and early twenties, my hair had a lot of red in it, including some individual, coarse red hairs, and i had freckles.

[Bindi]

I am trying to grow out my natural color after severe bleach damage. I have about an inch of roots and at that length it's hard to tell exactly what color it is ... but I am really scared that I will hate it :shrug:

[Daylilly]

I don't like my color, it's very boring but the upkeep of dying is too much. I am also not a huge fan of my 2 textured hair but acceptance is key.

[Vanilla Mint]

I'm the same way about my natural color. I really just decided that it wasn't worth the stress of forcing myself to come to peace with something that I could easily alter! Hair color has never been super damaging for me, apart from my stint with pastel pink. I bounce between ginger-blonde and blackish-brown, and am able to grow long both ways. If your hair can handle the processing, I don't see the big deal.

[woolyleprechaun]

I'm a blonette naturally, but I can't stand how meh it looks on me. I fell in love with red hair, and if I use henna its still classed as my 'natural' colour, right!? ;)
You are far from alone. If everyone's natural colour looked best on them, there wouldn't be such a huge dye industry.

[Alien Girl]

You know why you don't "feel" blonde on the inside??

Because hair color has NOTHING to do with who you are on the inside.

You can dye your hair if you want to but hair color is not an indicator of character or personality; that's probably why you feel bad because you're making something out of nothing!

[Arctic]

You know why you don't "feel" blonde on the inside??

Because hair color has NOTHING to do with who you are on the inside.

You can dye your hair if you want to but hair color is not an indicator of character or personality; that's probably why you feel bad because you're making something out of nothing!


I don't think she meant personality, or who she is; she probably mean her "hair identity".

[wilderwein]

Hmmm I would say, do a search first. Find exactly whats your natural hair color and then search about colors that will make it pop up.
Personaly I love blue or red clothes color SO MUCH on brunnetes!
If you wear makeup, do the same! It's a matter of perspective.
Spoil your self a little! Think that NO ONE ELSE has the same color in the world! And I must say, I am natural blonde but in the past I tried brunnete too, I thought that I was looking so freaking nice, BUT NO! I don't suit anything else as good as my natural hair color. I'm not saying that platinum blonde doesnt make me stand more, but it makes me stand for the wrong reasons, couse people firstly see the hair color, and thats it! They dont notice anything else.

So my conclution is, search the ways that your natural hair color can make you stand! And dont forget that natural hair color will always ALWAYS be shinier and smoother!

Do a search on pinterest and just think that 80% of those women actually dye their hair to achieve your natural hair color

[hannabiss]

I must say my hair handle quite a lot of hair coloring before it started to crumble. It held up quite well when I dyed it maybe once every 5 to 7 months. I Dyed it some lighter some darker. I don't think I murdered my hair til I had a perm. Just because a lot of LHC users embrace their natural hair color doesn't mean you have to(or should feel you have to) True it'll be better for your length if your going for extremely long hair. But all in all if coloring it makes you feel better just color it and only go over the roots. I had natural color for the last 2years and went and got some Splat deposit dye (didn't use the bleach). It'll fade back to natural eventually. I don't feel bad about changing my hair color. Neither should you.
If you were " born to be blonde" go blonde

[Alien Girl]

I don't think she meant personality, or who she is; she probably mean her "hair identity".

And that is why hair dyes and bleach exist :D

I mean I can somewhat relate... I feel like my hair should be lilac but I'm stuck with black and have to go to ends to achieve even a light brown. :(

[Alien Girl]

I must say my hair handle quite a lot of hair coloring before it started to crumble. It held up quite well when I dyed it mate once every 5 to 7 months. I Dyed it some lighter some darker. I don't think I murdered my hair til I had a perm. Just because a lot of LHC users embrass their natural hair color doesn't mean you have to. True it'll be better for you length if your going for extremely long hair. But all in all of coloring it makes you feel better just color it and only go over the roots. I had natural color for the last 2years and went and got some Splat deposit dye. It'll fade back to natural eventually. I don't feel bad about changing my hair color. Neither should you.
If you were " born to be blonde" go blonde

Agree! Having dyed hair is not a bad thing at all. If you see my thread about going blonde (I'm Korean and have naturally BLACK hair), you can see my experience with using coconut oil and bleach to lighten my hair. My hair actually feels smoother than ever.

[nikegirl]

Don't feel bad! I honestly don't like my natural color either; I'm a dark, dark brown/almost black. I wish I were a lighter brown like my mom :(

[ghost]

I don't like my natural color much, either. I have blonette/mousy brown hair that enjoyed a brief period of being golden when I was on the swim team (thank you chlorine) but quickly revealed itself to be just plain mousy brown last time I tried to go natural. Prior to that, I dyed my hair all kinds of colors, but as of right now I've been blue-black for five years. No regrets here!

[memeow]

I have two thoughts for you. First of all, "loving" your hair color really isn't necessary. Maybe you love your hair's texture, or how it feels on your shoulders, or its shine, or how awesome it looks in a bun. There are plenty of things to like about hair, and even if the color isn't your favorite thing about it, it's possible to live with it. Maybe if you accept your feelings, rather than trying to feel something different, you'll feel more at peace with your natural color. It's also possible that while you don't love it now, you may love it someday in the future.

On the other hand, as many have said in this thread, we live in an era with many different possibilities for changing your hair color. If you're concerned about damage, you can always look into deposit only veggie-based dyes. Those are also good for trying out a new color to see if you'd like it. Or, use one of the many ways to lighten hair while accruing less damage. Of course, any method of hair coloring goes along with a certain amount of maintenance and sitting around with goop on your head. But if you'd feel much better with a different color of hair, it's always a possibility.