hair Help Needed!

[nikolette]

MY HAIR IS SUCKING RIGHT NOW.... and I need some help!
I am growing out damage from years of straightening, and as I am doing it - my hair is getting curlier and curlier. And I need some help managing my new texture.

My hair is curly, yet not very course and very prone to FRIZZ.
my problems...
I need major PRODUCT advice as I am having trouble finding a balance that works right for my hair.

1- Conditioner - I cannot seem to find the right conditioner that is moisturizing/detangling but doesn't leave my hair feeling greasy or weighed down. ANY SUGGESTIONS? I perfer to use silicone free (and natural I don't like chemicals) is possible since I hear that's a major NO for curlies. The natural conditioner I am using does not help at all with tangles. I end up pulling out hair!

2- and, I guess Shampoo is also a problem. I like to use natural shampoo and I am finding my hair is either too dry or too coated feeling.
I want to achieve a nice clean feel, wihtout my hair feeling totally dried out.

3- FLYAWAYS & FRIZZ
I had a shed when I stopped my birth control and I think I have regrowth as I have a TON of flyaways. Or maybe its breakage? IDK. In any case. all I am doing is using some hairspray to try and flatten them down... Any other options?
I just using the regular Suave hairspray but I think it adds to the tangles issues.

ONE MORE QUESTION FOR THE CURLIES
I end up "washing" (sometimes just conditioning, and sometimes I just comb through and wet it) my hair basically every day because if I don't, the tangles take over and I will have a matted mess. Any advice on this?

Thank you... I need help !

[lilin]

Hi nikolette! We seem to have somewhat similar hair types, so maybe I can help. 2c with bits of 3a, also prone to frizz.

The first thing I would recommend you try is the Curly Girl method. Basically, there are a couple principles to this.

1. No shampoo. It tends to be very drying to curly textures. Instead, use a cone-free conditioner. Most conditioners contain what are called cationic surfactants, which are actually mild cleansers. Many curlies find that this is enough to get their hair clean.

I see you already do this, and there could be many reasons it isn't working.

It could be brand. Here are some well-loved brands that perhaps you haven't tried: VO5 naturals, Tressemme naturals, or curly-specific brands.

It could be that you have hard water. Get a pH stick and test it. If so, a shower filter may help you a lot.

It could be that your hair is very porous due to heat damage and too much of the conditioner is getting stuck in the cracks in your hair. As contrary as it sounds, you may want to try a light penetrating oil before you wash (more on this in a minute).

It could be that you are conditioning too frequently.

Finally, it could just be your hair type. Most conditioners are too heavy for me too, by themselves (again, more on this in a minute).

2. No brushes. Brushes break apart locks, which results in more tangling. When the hair is allowed to form into its natural locks as it dries, the hairs are all going the same direction, so they shouldn't tangle so much. When you break them apart from brushing, each hair is going in a different direction, resulting in more tangles. I don't do anything to detangle my hair between washes at all (unless it gets really messed up somehow and I have to, but that usually doesn't happen). It stays pretty tangle-free without me messing with it, if I leave my natural locks intact. I use a wide-tooth comb to detangle when I wash. Others just use their fingers.

Some other things you may want to try...

- Plopping. (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curl-products/to-plop-or-not-to-plop/) This is another way to encourage lock formation, and thus discourage tangling.

- A light hold gel when hair is damp. You don't want to use much, or a strong gel necessarily. Your hair shouldn't feel heavy or crunchy when dry. You're just trying to get the hair to stay together better.

- Stretching washes. Over time, your scalp will produce less oil as you wash it less. Washing it less will be less drying to your hair (water can be drying!), so assuming you don't have scalp issues that necessitate more washing, less is more.

- Penetrating oils (coconut, olive, camellia...). People use these in a variety of ways, but personally, I use it on dry hair, especially right before a wash. The goal of this is actually to keep water OUT of hair. Contrary to the common conception, more water-filled hair is not necessarily healthier hair. Water causes the hair to swell, which makes the cuticles rougher and more prone to rubbing against each other and tangling. Using a penetrating oil before contacting water will reduce hair swelling and leave hair smoother.

- A satin pillowcase or hair wrap for sleeping. The slip of the fabric helps reduce tangling, and it also doesn't wick as much oil and moisture out of your hair as more absorbent fabrics do.

These are all just suggestions and a jumping-off point. You may find some of these things don't work for you. Finding your perfect hair care is a trial and error sort of thing. Personally, my hair gets weighed down no matter how light the conditioner is, perhaps because my hair is very fine and my curls aren't very tight. So I focus on oiling and gentle treatment (encouraging locks). I don't use shampoo at all. Right now, I pre-oil and just scrub with warm water (and yes, my hair does get clean!). If I do need to cleanse, I use a mild soap nuts solution (a natural nonionic surfactant you can make at home) infused with slippery gels and oils -- much gentler than most shampoos.

But as you're experimenting, don't jump around too quickly! Give your hair a few washes to adjust to your new routine before you judge whether it's working for you or not. It often takes a little bit of time to see the full results of a change of routine. And for conditioner-only washing (called CO-washing around here) and stretching washes, give it even more time. Your scalp will need to adjust its oil production. Give this at least a month.

Hope this is helpful in some way!

[lapushka]

Just wanted to add, if CO-washing doesn't pan out, you can always go with a sulfate-free shampoo and if that doesn't work, just get back to the sulfates. I have to use a harsh sulfate shampoo, but to compensate, I double condition (so I don't lose my wave pattern to dryness).

[pili]

Lilin did an excellent job going over some basics. The only thing I will add is to read, read, read. These boards are a goldmine of information for all hair types. Check out:

Wavy and Wurly thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=31563)
Official type 3 hair club (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=96338)

Those should give you some basic info on curly hair. Different stuff works for different people, even if they have the same curl pattern, so be prepared to do a lot of trial and error to find what works for you.

And congratulations on going natural!

[elsieivy]

Just wanted to add, if CO-washing doesn't pan out, you can always go with a sulfate-free shampoo and if that doesn't work, just get back to the sulfates. I have to use a harsh sulfate shampoo, but to compensate, I double condition (so I don't lose my wave pattern to dryness).

I CWC (condition, wash, condition) which is also an option. I only use the shampoo on my scalp. For conditioner I use Desert Essence Coconut Conditioner.

Instead of using hairspray to fight frizz maybe try a leave in conditioner instead. I use Nightblooming's Panacea.

[yahirwaO.o]

My only suggestion is to dilute your shampoo (hair gets cleaned without feeling stripped and dry) and get some alo vera gel mixed with or a in leave in spray bottle with a nice oil.

My mother has fine, previously damaged from heat styling every day and very curly hair.. this simple recipe has totally worked for her and Im trying to convince her to go for Co-wash! Curly hair method works great and what lilin suggested is going to help really well!

[endlessly]

Sorry to hear that you're having so many hair troubles, but hopefully you'll receive loads of wonderful advice to help you out!

I don't have particularly curly hair (loosely wavy on good days, basically), but I have a huge problem with tangles that at least for the time being, I've been able to tame. If you'd like to look at more natural products, I strongly recommend looking into Lush as they have some wonderful products depending on your specific needs. I've been using products religiously from them for nearly two years now, but my current "hair basics" favorites are: Lullaby shampoo bar, Veganese conditioner, and R&B leave-in moisturizer. The Lullaby shampoo bar is extremely gentle on scalps as well as hair, so it will leave your hair feeling clean without feeling stripped of all moisture. The Veganese conditioner is by far, my favorite, it's incredibly lightweight (their lightest, in fact), but it really seems to absorb well into my hair and I get loads of moisture and shine without it feeling weighed down and sticky. The R&B moisturizer has become my holy grail product, it's a very dense creamy leave-in that requires just a dab on wet or dry hair and does wonders for tangles. I typically wait until my hair is about 90% dry before attempting to run a comb through it and after using just these three products, I don't have a single problem with tangles - so, I'm not pulling out nearly as much as I used to in the past and now that I think of it, I'm really not even shedding much either.

But, like I said, I don't have curly hair, so you might need more moisture than I do, but these have worked wonders for my tangle-related problems. Best of luck to you!

[gthlvrmx]

Oil on damp/wet hair will help retain moisture in your hair so that could be the moisturizing part you are looking for. Try it after you wash your hair. It may weigh down your curls a little bit if you use too much, so try using small amounts (unless you don't mind your curls looking weighed down). Check out the Suave Naturals and V05 conditioners, they are great for CO washing (even SMT's).