do you let your kids play with your hair?

[mamaherrera]

Just curious as to if you all let your children play with your hair. Today i had the itchies, and it felt so good to have my 6 year old play with my hair, comb it, style it.Even though I got my share of "tugs" and maybe lost a few hairs, it was relieving to my scalp. The only thing I learned is that it's not good to have them play with hair that has gel in it, I think I lost more than a few/breakage cause of that!

[elsieivy]

I don't enjoy having anyone play with or touch my hair so I don't let my kids play with it.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

I don't have children but if I did I wouldn't allow them to play with my hair. Hair is too easily damaged....

[spidermom]

They never ask, being 30 and 35 now. My daughter used to play with my hair, though. She'd stick all kinds of little kid barrettes and bobbles in it.

[Nadine <3]

Meh. My boyfriends 5 year old likes to watch when I do braids, but he's never shown interest in it. If he did, I wouldn't mind showing him how to gently comb it. If he started ripping through it or making rats nests I'd be done though lol

[Daylilly]

My niece and I do hairstyles on each other when she spends the night and it is such a bonding time. She knows the rules of gentle hair care so we are safe. She loves the feel of my hair when it is oiled. She has hair that is very easy to style it is so fun compared to fighting with my tangles.

[Seeshami]

Yes my sister's children play with my hair and the children hiding inside grown ups play with my hair too. Like the Medieval Festival, two grown men had my hair divided in half while they competed to see who could braid it prettier. GROWN. MEN. yes, grown men, just in case you didn't see that. grown MEN

[Brunette_Barbie]

I don't have kids, but if children touch my hair, I ask them to "touch gently, please". I've had a few pullers.

[picklepie]

My 3yo likes to stand behind me with her back to my back when I'm sitting on the floor, and put my hair over her shoulders-- she pets it and coos and calls everyone over to see her long hair.. My older kids play with my braid tassels and pretend they are powder puffs or paintbrushes or microphones. I love it. I feel like giving my kids access to my hair is like letting them hold my hand or sit on my lap; little reassuring things that mean a lot.

[mamaherrera]

cute and funny answers!! I think we can survive those few pullers. I love my 1.5 year old who at night, she'll stand on my pillow to look out the window, and if my hair is draped over my pillow, she stands on it, pulls it every way, and loves to torture my hair.And if I use a sleep cap, and only 2 hairs stick out of the cap, those are the two she pulls. She loves to pull hair!

[MINAKO]

I dont have kids but will basically eat any of those who would try to play with my hair. Thats totally not an option with me. :disgust:

[woolyleprechaun]

I let my daughters play with it as it is quality bonding time for us and totally worth a couple of lost hairs. I'm not keen on them brushing or combing (oweee) so instead they 'smooth it out'. That's pretty much just stroking me.
My girls have lovely hair, and we all enjoy helping each other out in the maintenance department. I remember braiding my dad's beard when I was little... Fond memories are valuable things :)

[Wusel]

Two days ago I wrote on another thread from a very attractive lady who let her granddaughter play with her hair (and cut it because of damage):

"I'm sure playing with your granddaughter is wonderful but please, do never let her play with your hair again. Buy her a hairdressing practice head but don't let her touch your hair, please. Children aren't gentle playing with hair and I've taught my son when he was very little that mommy doesn't like him touch her hair (he always wanted and when he managed to rip out a some of my hairs I knew: That's enough!) It took me a lot of effort to teach him: HAND OFF MOMMYS HAIR. But it was worth it."

My opinion.
NEVER!
Children also have to learn that other peoples' hair is something precious and part of their privacy and NOT A TOY. It's a part of their education, on my opinion. WE are not our sons/daughters/granddaughters TOY!

[flickm]

Kids grow up so fast, and hair grows back - plus i love having my hair brushed. So yes, i let both my daighter and granddaughter do styles on my hair when they were bored. I think, in retrospect, i would have banned elastic ponytail bands though, since i lost quite a lot of hair that way.

[restless]

I dont have kids of my own, but I do have a niece and nephews and yes, I let them play with my hair as long as they try to be gentle. I brush and put in little clips and make updos for them and they do the same in return. It is indeed great quality time and worth a broken hair or two :)

[amino]

I remember playing with my mom's hair when I was younger. There were only ever soft elastics, and we loved brushing it and petting it—Mom had about midback length hair, and she's tall, so there was a lot to play with. When she cut it short—I don't think it was because of damage, but because she was tired of it being so long, I really missed those times. When i have kids, I'll teach them to play nice and I will let them touch my hair. Those are some of my fondest memories of childhood.

[Panth]

Two days ago I wrote on another thread from a very attractive lady who let her granddaughter play with her hair (and cut it because of damage):

"I'm sure playing with your granddaughter is wonderful but please, do never let her play with your hair again. Buy her a hairdressing practice head but don't let her touch your hair, please. Children aren't gentle playing with hair and I've taught my son when he was very little that mommy doesn't like him touch her hair (he always wanted and when he managed to rip out a some of my hairs I knew: That's enough!) It took me a lot of effort to teach him: HAND OFF MOMMYS HAIR. But it was worth it."

My opinion.
NEVER!
Children also have to learn that other peoples' hair is something precious and part of their privacy and NOT A TOY. It's a part of their education, on my opinion. WE are not our sons/daughters/granddaughters TOY!

Goodness gracious. I don't know what your experiences are, but I'd never even consider that I was being treated as a "toy". Do you consider that you're a "toy" if your child/partner/friend offers you a backrub or wants a cuddle?

[Soulina]

I have no kids of my own, but my cousins son when he was still a baby, less than a year old, was very shy. Everyone in his family has short hair and I still had my hip long hair then (that I will have back soon :pray: ). He was left alone with me for reason I do not remember, he was in his bed and I was standing next to it. My hair was loose, and suddenly I felt slight tuck on my hair, there he was, looking my hair with look of wonder only child can have. So I let him grab even more of my hair and he started laughing and waved his hands around and touched his face with my hair. Everyone was a amazed that he was so friendly with me and not shy at all.

So yes, I would let children play with my hair if they are gentle.

[flickm]

Two days ago I wrote on another thread from a very attractive lady who let her granddaughter play with her hair (and cut it because of damage):

"I'm sure playing with your granddaughter is wonderful but please, do never let her play with your hair again. Buy her a hairdressing practice head but don't let her touch your hair, please. Children aren't gentle playing with hair and I've taught my son when he was very little that mommy doesn't like him touch her hair (he always wanted and when he managed to rip out a some of my hairs I knew: That's enough!) It took me a lot of effort to teach him: HAND OFF MOMMYS HAIR. But it was worth it."

My opinion.
NEVER!
Children also have to learn that other peoples' hair is something precious and part of their privacy and NOT A TOY. It's a part of their education, on my opinion. WE are not our sons/daughters/granddaughters TOY!

ha ha, thanks you for the compliment - and though i agree with you in principle, kids are precious, hair grows back (even if i am being grumpy about mine!), but you can't replace the years when they are little. When I was breastfeeding, my daughter used to tangle her fingers in my hair occasionally - maybe not ideal, but your priorities shift when you are mothering. I guess my hair was always so abundant that i never worried. Also, hair is part of you, part of touch, affection, not a toy no. It's natural to want to touch someone's hair if you love them.

BTW, I didn't have it cut because of anything that happened to it when my granddaughter played with it - it needed it because of damage from when I dyed it trying to blend grey in with blonde. Here is the original post:
"It was down past BSL but the ends were dry - the remains of a couple of sessions when i tried dyeing my greys to blend in with the blonde. So i had it trimmed back to shoulder length, which i now regret. I also have some shorter bits after letting my granddaughter put various bunches and sections in with elastic, while she was playing hairdressers. It's now hennaed, so in better condition, but still thinner than it normally is. I'm using peppermint oil rinses, oiling the ends, using a horn comb etc. It's almost to my armpits now. I guess it will grow faster in the summer - it usually does. Any other tips for getting it back in top condition and growing would be appreciated. I've looked on the forum, but it's difficult to correlate the info, which is scattered around."

the thinness, as i've said in other posts, was mainly caused by a period of stress (and lack of sleep) , when I seemed to have more hair on my clothes than on my head it fell so badly.

[Freija]

I think gentleness (and keeping it as a calm, quiet bonding time) is key for me. I don't have little ones of my own yet, but I do have two small nephews and one goddaughter; and two of my cousins and several people in my partner's family have young families as well. I always keep my hair up around the really little ones - babies and toddlers are very grabby! - and I keep it up during busy, dashing-about times with the older ones, too. But I don't have any problem letting my goddaughter (who is five now) sit down and play/touch it, as long as she asks first, has clean hands and she's in a calm frame of mind to begin with. She's old enough now to understand needing to be gentle, and has the coordination and motor skills to be careful. I wouldn't let her brush it, though - fingers only! - or let her use toys that I wouldn't use.

[Wusel]

Goodness gracious. I don't know what your experiences are, but I'd never even consider that I was being treated as a "toy". Do you consider that you're a "toy" if your child/partner/friend offers you a backrub or wants a cuddle?

I was talking about when my son was 3-5 years old. Not about partners or children who are older and know that you have to be gentle with hair. On my opinion I think that it's important to teach children not to grab in other peoples' faces, glasses, noses or hair.
Since my son is older now he can ask and touch or comb my hair of course. And my BF touches it very often.
And for me cuddling is not pulling hair. And I feel like a toy when a little child uses my head instead of a doll's head. I don't like it. It's just my opinion.

[Panth]

I was talking about when my son was 3-5 years old. Not about partners or children who are older and know that you have to be gentle with hair. On my opinion I think that it's important to teach children not to grab in other peoples' faces, glasses, noses or hair.
Since my son is older now he can ask and touch or comb my hair of course. And my BF touches it very often.
And for me cuddling is not pulling hair. And I feel like a toy when a little child uses my head instead of a doll's head. I don't like it. It's just my opinion.

Your original comment made no mention of age. I agree that young children need to be taught to respect peoples' body autonomy and to be gentle. I wouldn't go so far as to say: don't ever let your child/grandchild play with your hair. That's a blanket statement, irrespective of the child's age, the child's ability/gentleness or either the child's or the adult's feelings.

To me, having my hair (nicely, gently) combed and plaited is soothing and intimate - I used the example of a back rub particularly, because that's about where it sits on my scale of "who is permitted to do this?" and "what do I get out of it?". Of course, you may feel otherwise. But it's a little extreme to start saying that "children need to learn that we are not their toys" rather than "I feel like I'm treated as a toy when children play with my hair and so prefer not to let them". One is a blanket statement assuming universal agreement (note the use of "we"), one is an opinion.

[flickm]

I think gentleness (and keeping it as a calm, quiet bonding time) is key for me. I don't have little ones of my own yet, but I do have two small nephews and one goddaughter; and two of my cousins and several people in my partner's family have young families as well. I always keep my hair up around the really little ones - babies and toddlers are very grabby! - and I keep it up during busy, dashing-about times with the older ones, too. But I don't have any problem letting my goddaughter (who is five now) sit down and play/touch it, as long as she asks first, has clean hands and she's in a calm frame of mind to begin with. She's old enough now to understand needing to be gentle, and has the coordination and motor skills to be careful. I wouldn't let her brush it, though - fingers only! - or let her use toys that I wouldn't use.

When you do have kids of your own, being careful goes by the board. You are lucky to get enough sleep, never have a moment to call your own, and hair care routines often go out the window. Added to that, hair almost always drops out after a pregnancy ends. i had mine cut short for the first time in my adult life after my daughter was born. but it all recovers - it's amazingly resilient.

I see you live in Yorkshire. Do you have soft water? i think one of the worst things for my hair and skin has been the horrible hard Oxford water.

Your hair looks amazing in your avatar BTW :)

[meisha~]

I have no children but my little cousin loves to braid and play with my hair! She's very gentle and I think she enjoys the girly-ness of the experience (perhaps she's a little fed-up with playing Lego with her brother! XD)

[Gertrude]

My daughter is now 7 and she likes to touch my hair and like @ Spidermom said, she loves to put in little barrettes and bobbles and ribbons. She is now really gentle, and just needs reminding occasionally that she has thick, strong hair and I have very fine hair so more hurts. It's a nice bonding experience and she keeps the more intense styles for her hairstyling practice head. Without me having to tell her. Oh, bless, such a sweet girl .....and she is (-: but as a baby and toddler she was really strong, didn't know her own strength and yanked. Not just pulled, but really yanked. Her favourite toy rabbit is still favourite but his neck has gone from wide to pencil thin from her grip. Not just hair, my whole anatomy was game for pulling on. I nursed her for nearly two years and she had her hands free (-; and that hurt so I kept my hair out of the way. For me personally there is no comparison between an adult manhandling my hair, and my little girl grabbing it. However old she gets, she's still my baby!

[flickm]

My daughter is now 7 and she likes to touch my hair and like @ Spidermom said, she loves to put in little barrettes and bobbles and ribbons. She is now really gentle, and just needs reminding occasionally that she has thick, strong hair and I have very fine hair so more hurts. It's a nice bonding experience and she keeps the more intense styles for her hairstyling practice head. Without me having to tell her. Oh, bless, such a sweet girl .....and she is (-: but as a baby and toddler she was really strong, didn't know her own strength and yanked. Not just pulled, but really yanked. Her favourite toy rabbit is still favourite but his neck has gone from wide to pencil thin from her grip. Not just hair, my whole anatomy was game for pulling on. I nursed her for nearly two years and she had her hands free (-; and that hurt so I kept my hair out of the way. For me personally there is no comparison between an adult manhandling my hair, and my little girl grabbing it. However old she gets, she's still my baby!

I wish there was a like button for posts like this. LIKE!

[DreamSheep]

I don't have kids yet, and probably won't for a long time, but I love my hair being played with. I think I'd teach them how to handle it gently and let them (though I don't mind losing 1-2 hairs).

[Carolyn]

My son never tried to play with my hair when he was little but I would never have allowed it. I slapped his hands when he would grab at my necklaces and earrings. My grandchildren have never tried to play with my hair. I might consider letting my granddaughters try braiding if they express an interest. I am not going to offer to do that. I never tried to play with my mom's hair and she would have never allowed it.

[flickm]

My son never tried to play with my hair when he was little but I would never have allowed it. I slapped his hands when he would grab at my necklaces and earrings. My grandchildren have never tried to play with my hair. I might consider letting my granddaughters try braiding if they express an interest. I am not going to offer to do that. I never tried to play with my mom's hair and she would have never allowed it.

You slapped his hands????

[missrandie]

My mom taught me how to be gentle and how to brush and comb her hair from the "baby ends" and work my way up as to never snag or rip through her hair. I loved mixing my hair with my mom's to see the color difference.. it has gotten much less with time. Also, I remember my dad teaching me how to French braid on his thin shoulder length hair :)

For me, our hair times were very precious, and to this day I am one of the most gentle in my family at combing or brushing. My nephews and nieces ask me to do their hair for them because their mom won't and is rough when she does.

[door72067]

My niece likes to practice hair styles on me (she's 11) and I let her. It's a good teaching moment, really. We have very different hair (mine is fine and curly, hers is barely wavy, heavy and thick) so she's learned that she can't treat my hair like she does her own (an elastic band can just be slide off a pony on her, on me, it needs to be unwound, for instance)

I do hear an occasional *rip* but really, what's 1 or 2 hairs for times that she (hopefully) will remember fondly when she's older and I'm gone.

[Carolyn]

You slapped his hands????Yes. It needed to stop.

[mamaherrera]

Kids grow up so fast, and hair grows back - plus i love having my hair brushed. So yes, i let both my daighter and granddaughter do styles on my hair when they were bored. I think, in retrospect, i would have banned elastic ponytail bands though, since i lost quite a lot of hair that way.

Yes I hear ya. I'm kind of mad that I didn't realize she put in the elastic band and then did the whole "tug it horizontally thing" to make it go up higher. Oh well. I don't have lots of hair like you, but it was only one day!! I'll be a little more watchful. but I do let me son tug softly on the hair and pull out the loose ones!!

[LauraLongLocks]

It's hard enough to teach my husband not to pull or rip through my hair when he's handling it. I do let my 15 year old daughter do my hair from time to time, but I expect to lose a few hairs when I do.

[Laurenji]

My 1.5 yo son loves hair. He's always holding and rubbing his fingers through his own hair. Lately whenever I have my hair in a braid, he will grab the tassel of my braid, rub it on his cheeks, and suck his thumb. He loves my hair and seems to find it very comforting. I don't let him yank on it, though. Or play with it when it's completely loose, since he's not gentle enough with it yet.

[arr]

I don't have children but I have four little nieces who love to play with my hair. They are not always gentle but I'm trying to teach them. Our latest lesson was how you need to brush starting at the ends, not the top. The nine year old did an excellent English braid on me last night; I was really impressed. Yes I lose hairs, hear hairs snap and get a sore scalp but I also give them a time limit, maybe five minutes or so. To me it is worth it, it is a special time and I would like them to remember that instead of remembering me as the mean Aunt who never let them play with my hair because it was more precious than them. This is my personal opinion for me, I don't judge how others view it as I'm sure they have their own valid reasons.

[picklepie]

I feel like learning to be sensitive to my needs and preferences as to how to touch my hair (and glasses/earrings/nose, etc) was a really lovely process with my kids. "Softly, touch with a soft hand" or, "one finger touch. Touch with one finger ". They learned really fast, as infants! My now-7yo used to reach up and gently play with my earrings while he nursed. He's a rough and rowdy kid, and was a rough and rowdy baby too, but seemed to value the interaction when he was gentle with my hair or earrings (though with him I had short hair the first couple years). I don't know, we all have different ways of sharing intimacy with our children. Some moms would feel really invaded, and feel lack of boundaries, with stuff like that, but I feel like it actually helped us create healthy boundaries-- given that I expect myself to also respect *their* bodies the way they respect mine. Not always easy!

[turtlelover]

I don't have my own kids, but I have mentored some kids at church, and let those kids play with my hair when it was longer. My own childhood was kind of rough, and some of my very, very fondest memories as a kid were playing with the hair of a couple of female teachers with beautiful long hair. It just seemed to be a kind of intimacy I was otherwise lacking at the time, so it makes me happy NOW if I can make a child happy for a little while in honor of the kind women who did the same for me. I do teach them to be gentle, and the proper way to brush.

[renia22]

At the age when they grab at things and don't understand yet, I would wear it up and also didn't wear jewelry or anything like that, removing the obstacles was easy enough. When at an older age when it's more about closeness & bonding, absolutely. If the children in the family looked back on their childhoods and remembered me as someone who was unapproachable & was so concerned with my personal appearance that they didn't feel like they could touch my hair of whatever, I personally wouldn't be happy with myself over that. To each their own I guess...

[BrunetteMermaid]

My little one is only four months, so, no. Not just yet. I try to keep my hair up to prevent him from grabbing. I must say, he seems to love people with long hair though. He breaks into the biggest grin whe he sees someone with their hair down. When he gets older I'm not opposed to him gently playing or touching.

[Entangled]

I have a little brother who holds my braid with a sort of reverential awe and is really sweet about getting to touch it, so as long as he's gentle I let him. He keeps talking about how my hair is long like Rapunzel's (but not as long and we'd need a tower so we could climb down my hair), which give me a little glow inside, as my hair's not THAT long. He loves long hair, though if he's looking mischievous I pay more attention to him, as that probably indicates tag-like hair touching (look! I touched Entangled's hair! I'm going to do it again *giggle*) but he stops if I ask him. He never touches my sister's hair (and hers is almost as long as and a lot thicker than mine) because she doesn't like it.

[AmethystLily]

Don't have kids yet, but if I did, I'd be a little hesitant. My hair is tightly coiled, and handling it the wrong way means possibly having to cut (yes, CUT!) out knots. I'd probably wait until they were old enough to learn to handle it gently and correctly. There are other ways to bond, so I don't feel we'd be missing out on anything.

[Seeshami]

Children. Grown Men. Same thing
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/BrokenCagedBird/038a6a4b-2e65-44ae-8b6b-956bd6acd539_zpsn8l4gxqg.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/BrokenCagedBird/media/038a6a4b-2e65-44ae-8b6b-956bd6acd539_zpsn8l4gxqg.jpg.html)

P.S. the guy in blue and black is a complete stranger to me when this was taken. I now know him as Braum. BBQ Samurai is in the hat.

[Duchess Fuzzy Buns]

Children. Grown Men. Same thing
:scissors:snip:scissors:

P.S. the guy in blue and black is a complete stranger to me when this was taken. I now know him and Braum. BBQ Samurai is in the hat.

Great picture, I love it!

[Seeshami]

My medieval festival family is hilarious you never know who will adopt you