I need some moral support

[Breezy]

I went to supercuts to get my hair blowdried and the girl talked me into thinning it. She used thinning shears and before I knew it she had gone all around my head and took off way too much of my hair. As I looked in sheer horror on the ground at all of the hair, I said "Why did you take so much off?", she just looked at me with no real answer. Now I'm stuck with extreme layers, it's short (below shoulder length) and I have all this mess of what she thinned. My hair is naturally wavy, curly, and now it doesn't hold any style. I feel like I look like Bozo the clown. Fortunately, I can still put it in a messy bun, but I'm used to wearing it down. I'm not brave enough right now to take a picture of it. I feel so ugly and depressed. I'm looking for you beautiful ladies if you can give me some help even though the only way I see is having it growshudder:. Is there anyone here who is growing their hair wears there hair up all the time?

[Freija]

I've been there, oh how I've been there. It's horrible and miserable and it feels like an utter violation and I'm so sorry that it has happened to you.

I'm really glad that you can still put your hair up, though. It makes all the difference if you can just tie it back and forget about it, or put it into pretty styles with nice hairtoys. And it does grow! This time last year, I had a bad cut - I went from almost-blunt almost-hip-length hair to having lots of horrible layers that weren't even at APL. I cried at the time, but after a year of tying it up and forgetting it it's looking so much better again. It should be back to where it was by Christmas.

:grouphug:

[Breezy]

Wow Freija , you really understand after going through it too. Thank you for helping me, I was just thinking it should be back by Christmas.

[Duchess Fuzzy Buns]

Oh no, I'm sorry that happened to you. :grouphug:
As far as whether anyone growing their hair wears it up all the time- I think a lot of people do. Keeping it up protects the ends from wear and helps prevent split ends and breakage. My hair is up 99.9% of the time. I'm sure you can find some cute ways to put it up to help you feel better about it until it grows back out. Maybe a peacock twist or french braid?

[DweamGoiL]

So sorry this happened to you, but it's not an uncommon story. A lot of our members are rather wary of stylists at times. I have also experience the unwanted chop. I once grew my hair out to BSL, but I was young and it kind of just grew so it had no real shape. My mom insisted I go to her stylist. Long story short, I came out with a beehive. I began sobbing when I saw myself. It was horrible. Be kind to yourself and try to calm down. It will grow back in time. You just have to make it through some awkward stages. I would also recommend cute hairtoys you can decorate your hair with and it will make you feel prettier and boost your confidence temporarily.

[cat11]

I agree with the put it uppers. Im only beginning to like my hair now that it's mbl and before I'd just not even think about it down because it was always up and it looked good. Think of it as a journey to learn new things and google "shoulder length styles lhc" and look at the "post your hairstyles here BSL and shorter" thread for some good inspiration. There are styles that you can't do at longer lengths as well- take advantage of it! Buy a beaded butterfly clip and wear your hair in a peacock twist!! That was my favorite at your length, and one of the only ways to get it all reliably up as it was shaggy- similar in behavior to thinned hair ,I suppose. Little claw clips are your freind too. I know it's sad but there's no use crying over spilled milk. As long as you didn't dye it think of it as starting fresh

[endlessly]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this right now! It's an awful, awful feeling that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy.

That being said, I've been in your shoes. I had a really awful botched haircut several years back where the stylist basically made a mistake and in trying to fix it, only ended up making it look a thousand times worse. It took me up until this last March - so nearly 5 years - to grow the shortest layer to tailbone, which is when I felt comfortable enough cutting everything to one length. After the haircut first happened, I wore half up-dos for nearly 6 months since my shortest layer was just shy of shoulder length and the longest was BSL - as you can imagine from that description, it didn't look good! I did a lot of sloppy half up-do buns, but eventually went back in to have the layers blended a bit more - it was originally one blunt layer at shoulder length and one as BSL - and that resulted in me starting to use hot rollers to curl and pin back the various layers.

Basically, it was a mess and like you, I felt horrible about myself. Even all these years later, I still have self esteem issues as a result of that haircut! It gets better, though, and as long as I constantly reminded myself that hair does grow back, I was able to get by day-to-day. My best advice for how you're feeling is to essentially spoil yourself. Buy some fun clips or hair accessories, try some new hairstyles, and take care of your hair. Try to think of this as "starting over" when it comes to the health of your hair. If you keep reminding yourself how good it's going to look when it grows back and really take care of it, it will help you get through the bad times. Also, try not to obsess over how fast it's growing - this caused a lot of issues for me and always made me feel worse. Just try to be positive and know that you have a lot of support here whenever you need it.

[Saldana]

Oh, I am so sorry this happened to you! I think a lot of us have been where you are, I know I have. I sat in the car and sobbed. But maybe you can keep it up, keep it healthy, pamper yourself a bit with new updos and some pretty hair toys..and before you know it, your hair will be grown back out. *HUG*

[Breezy]

Thank you so much my friends. Knowing that you all went through this too and came out the other side really is helping me to change my perspective on it. I will look at it as starting over. I don't feel so alone now.

[Eleven]

Hi Breezy. What an afwul experience, and sadly, I've also been there/am there still. First of all, let me tell you how terrible sorry I am. Hair 'stylists' ... :mad: It has now been a good month since my hair stylist went trimming & layering crazy. I am now wearing my hear up every day. I am limited to wearing tiny ponytails and tiny buns because of the layered mess she gave me, leaving my hair with no volume at all and at a good SL. Just like you, I almost wore my hair down every day. But wearing your hair up definitely does help! And also this golden rule I've learned here: the two week no cutting rule. By just letting it 'sit' on my head, and remembering this rule, it helped me not to ran off to the hair dresser to get it 'fixed'. I now see fixing is near impossible - sadly enough - and by trying so I would only have lost more and more length, leaving me at chin perhaps. Now my longest strands are hitting collarbone, so at least I have that. :-) I'm really glad I did not have it cut again, since my number one goal is now having long & healthy hair. It's my main focus now, hairwise.

I do cope better now. I've noticed some growth already this past month! :cheer: Some days are still hard - like when suddenly an old photo of my old hair appears, it stills makes me cringe. Or even thinking about my old 'do is makes me cringe. Put just throwing it in a ponytail or a bun helps. It also helps a lot to stay busy. I need to study a lot right now, so I don't even have the time to think about it that much. And that does help. Nothing is worse then staring at your own reflection for five hours straight - been there done that - and poking every little strand on your head. Just put it up. It'll help!

And if you need to talk/vent/nag/cry about the haircut, feel free to do so to me. We're here for you!

[Federica]

Hello Breezy!
I'm so sorry that happened to you, it's a very sad situation.
I know how you feel, I've been there (bleach disaster on classic length hair = heavily layered bsl cut and a lot of bleach damage to grow out anyway), I don't plan to go to a hairstylist anymore in my life since then.
The only thing you can do now, while your hair re-grows (it takes time, but il will grow back at least!) is try to have fun with your unwanted new style, experiment with it, and if yoy really don't like the look of it put it up and try to see this as a chance to get used to protective styles.
It is frustrating, I know, but keep in mind that every day you wake up with your hair a bit longer.
SL is not an extreme length, and just a few inches can really make a difference, It's just a matter of months.
I'm still growing back to classic/fingertip that disaster, six years have passed in which I had to get rid of all the bleach and layers, I'm now at almost BCL, blunt hem and no bleach left.
It is possible to get any length back, it only requires patience.

Hope you grow it back soon!

[Breezy]

Oh Eleven, thank you for writing to me, you really understand, I've done that 5 hour thing before too and it really was self torment. I'm having a hard time staying positive because sometimes I just feel I look ugly with my hair up all of the time. I'm used to having it lay over my shoulders to boob length, and now it's in a bun and because of her thinning it, I've got all of these wispies. I just want to cry every time I think of it. With summer coming I was looking forward to my long braid and beachy waves, now I'm stuck with this! I am so depressed Eleven, I'm sickened by it. I'm sorry you are going through it too, but now you and I know we are not alone. Thank you for responding to my post, you really helped me.

[Breezy]

Thank you for your support Frederica; wow! your hair and you are really beautiful! It will be a long time before I see a hairstylist. It just sucks that not only am I growing out the layers, but the thinning made layers on layers etc. I guess I am having to learn patience now because I have to, or I'll end up shaving my head. You have really had to have patience because 6 years is a long time; thank you for inspiring me and helping me!

[HintOfMint]

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry this happened to you. Truly. Thinning shears+Supercuts+spur of the moment decisions have undone many a head of hair. It will be okay though, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

Patience and distractions (hair related or not) will make the wait better. And when you're ready for a trim, either learn to do your own (I can't recommend this from experience but apparently others here have had luck), or scour yelp for a reputable hairdresser.

Again, I'm so sorry this happened. :blossom:

[Elly May]

Wow, I am really sorry this happened to you. Like everyone has said, putting it up and forgetting about it is a wonderful thing! Like many people on LHC, I wear my hair up every day. The good news is that although it does take time, it WILL grow back! For me, thinning shears are always a bad idea.... Chalk this up to one of those things you will never try again, and move forward. Federica's perspective is excellent--each day your hair will be a little longer! :)

[lapushka]

Yes, I had a trainee botch up my hair right before graduation. It had to be cut in a way too short bob, almost to my ears (between jaw & ears). Awful experience. And my hair was between APL & BSL too.

[parkmikii]

I have had this happen to me as well. About two years ago when I went to the hairstylist she gave me a really layered cut, truth is my curls did look really good then as there was less hair weight, but as soon as I washed my hair I noticed that the last layer was with about 3 cm longer than the rest and all of my hair was horribly thinned out. Since then I struggle with microtrimming and small trims, but I'm getting slowly back to where it was, so my only option was to accept the bad cut and try to solve it bit by bit, because, luckily, hair grows.

[quirkybookworm]

Bad haircuts are the worst. I got a really awful haircut about a year and a half ago - the stylist managed to cut my hair in a way that made the ends stick straight out from my head (no idea how she managed to do that, as my hair doesn't normally do that.) and it took my hair 6 months to stop doing that. But, a year and a half later I'm almost at waist, and I only have 3-4 inches separating my longest layer from my shortest layer. SO, just look forward to 6 months from now - because in 6 months your hair will look completely different than it does now and this whole thing will be just a bad memory. And, in the mean time, you have a wonderful excuse to learn some new updos ;)

[Eleven]

'Self torment' is the right word there. You know what is strange? I've been wearing my hair up for almost a month now, and now I feel weird when I wear it down! (I wear it down when I go to bed). I guess it's all about habits. I almost never wore my hair in a pony tail or bun before, and now I can't imagine a day that I don't put it up. We humans, sure are weird creatures. :p

I'm feeling you Breezy, but we'll get past this. :blossom: It's identity crushing to have it this way, but I guess there are other, worse, things in life. I remember the first time I had to grow out a butchered haircut: I was not paying any attention to it, I was studying hard and focusing on other things and before I knew it it was long. I'm trying to get the same state of mind back, even though I must admit it is a little bit harder this time because I know what I miss. :p But it helps to see it as only a temporary fase. It has been this length before, and it will grow back... So, boob length hair, here we come! :bluebiggr

[vpatt]

How awful for you....but it will grow. Use it as time to experiment with different up dos. And definitely research how to trim your own hair. It's easy to do. I'm so sorry that happened to you. ((((hugs))))

[BerryFlap]

Literally, the absolute suckage of a bad haircut is enough to put anyone off getting their hair professionally cut for a lifetime. I feel your pain, I hope you're not too upset :(


I had a haircut back when I was 14/15, from nearly waist length to what I *wanted* to be shoulder length. Ended up with chin length. That put me off the hairdressers for 3 years! I went back with my hair at about BSL (I'd began bleaching it so there was a lot of damage by this time) and found a hairdresser I trusted enough to even out the hemline, and she did, and for the first time in AGES I was truly happy with my haircut!

Then I got my hair cut by a different stylist last February, and let's just say she wasn't just scissor happy. She was scissor crazy! She gave me the WORST rendition of 'The Rachel' I've ever seen. She gave me a fringe I never asked for, and cut a sort of 3cm wide ridge on the right side of my head. It looked AWFUL, and it still doesn't look great. It's all uneven, layered and generally messy and I reckon I won't have even layers again until Christmas, and even by then it'll only be about collar bone length, which is kinda depressing to say the least.

Now's probably a great time, as many people have already said, to play around with updo's. I tend to find I can stand the layers in my hair a bit more when it's curly or wavy too, perhaps experimenting with a few different textures may help?


Oooh! And in terms of growth, I've been doing the inversion method for the past 3 days and I *think* it's working. It's worth a try imo :)

[Breezy]

Hi BerryFlap, Your avatar is beautiful. You said now it's collar bone length, can you get it back into an updo? Thanks for responding to my post. I've just been putting it up, it really has been depressing for me; I just need to keep it up and forget about it. In 6 months our hair should look much better.

[AZDesertRose]

You've already gotten some great advice, Breezy, so I'll just add my voice to the chorus of "been there, done that."

I have had a number of bad (or at least ill-advised) cuts in my time, and it is just hair. It will eventually grow back. Just put it up, be gentle with it, and it will grow.

It is worth looking into self-trim methods (Feye's is the one I've tried with good results) and possibly also looking for a hairstylist who will do what you ask and not one snip more.

I had my last professional trim at a Hair Cuttery, and fortunately the stylist did exactly what I asked. (I wanted my layers gone, which cost me around an inch to an inch and a half of length; it really wasn't that much. The layers were making it hard for me to do the updos I wanted to use.)

Anyway, you're very far from alone in this. Just wanted to let you know that. Best wishes and happy growing! :)

[lfbddjw]

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I remember three years ago when I told the hairdresser that I'd like to cut off ten inches of my hair to donate. Instead, she cut off 21 inches, all the way above my chin! Terrible! I haven't gone to a hair salon since then.

[Breezy]

thank you AZDesertRose, for reminding me that is just hair; it really makes me feel bad, cuz I get tired of having it up, but I have to put it up everyday. I wonder if there are other ladies here that don't particulary like the way they look with it up. Your hair is thick and beautiful

[Breezy]

I bet your hair is really long now.

[Breezy]

thank you:blossom:

[arr]

Im so sorry this happened to you. I have had so many bad haircuts that I finally quit going to the salon. The last one was two years ago right before my husband and I went on a vacation. It was terrible, choppy short bangs, layers I didn't ask for that were horrible and choppy, an uneven hemline, and literally a chunk cut out of the right side. I was so depressed and I hate to look at pictures from that vacation. My hair is much improved now and by this winter the chunk will officially be completely gone, yay!

I found LHC at that time and started wearing my hair up, which had never occurred to me before. I've learned so many styles and like someone else said, I feel weird wearing my hair down nowadays. Its so much more comfortable up and very honestly I can say I now prefer the way I look with it up. And the times I do wear it down, it's in such good condition and just feels really special and luxurious. I think you will get used to it. YouTube tutorials really help.

It is going to be okay and in as little as six months you will have come a long way. Whatever you do, learn to trim your own hair or find someone you can absolutely trust to trim it for you.

[Breezy]

Thank you arr. I appreciate your encouragement about wearing my hair. I was so used to wearing it down, but I guess it's really no big deal to wear it up. I wear it up because I can't stand how I look with it down after that chop job she did, I'm slowly getting used to it, and plus now that summer is here it feels good up. Six months can seem like a long time, but I guess it really isn't. I can't wait, but I have to wait :whistle: for it to grow. I'm dreaming of it cascading down my back again, or putting it in a long pretty braid. thanks again for responding to me, this hasn't been easy. So much of my identity has been wrapped up in my hair.

[Breezy]

I just wanted to thank all the ladies that responded to my post; I'm trying to hang in there; getting tired of my "messy buns", but I have to wear it up, ugh it looks so bad down. But in six months it should be looking better. But thanks again because I HAVE to come back to your posts to read them yet again to help get me through this, I've literally been depressed over my hair.