I'm just so SAD.

[MaryMarx]

Hi everyone. I've been away from this place, partly because of school but also because I just couldn't stand thinking about hair. My own hair, and others.
I'll be keeping this short. Problem is: I've never seen anyone with hair like mine. Never.
This is not a post about tips and tricks I should try, because I've tried a lot and nothing works. CO, WO, shampoo, no heat, heat, no colouring, colouring, doesn't matter, my hair looks the same, and that is: like crap.

And this makes me SO INCREDIBLY SAD. I've been wearing my hair up in a "bun" for the last 3-4 years and people start to question why.
My mom knows about my problem and asked me if I maybe could wear it in a ponytail, but I can't, since my hair is so thin and the ponytail will flow around, not hang down my neck but stand in a horizontal position. :mad:

It's been SL for ages (really, for years), and I have just given up. I'll never have long hair.
Does anyone have this problem and how do you cope with it?
It may sound silly (maybe not to you guys though) but this is the only thing I feel really sad and embarressed about.
I'm starting to hate myself wearing my hair up all day, hiding it.
:-(

Edit: third picture in my hair progress album shows current hair quality.

[Arctic]

You have have hairtypes your thickness as ii; that is not thin. I always love voluminous curly ponytails, BTW.

I bet your hair is not bad looking at all, instead of dwelling on it, maybe you could try and change your inner talk.

That being said, I do understand taking a hiatus from here, I've had to do that on several occasions. :grouphug:

[Elly May]

Hi there! I am sorry you are so sad!!!! I know that you said you are not interested in tips, but some of the people on LHC are extremely good at looking at a picture of your hair and telling you what to try. If I were that sad and didn't have any other ideas, I would try posting a few pictures of my hair and seeing if someone else has had the same problem and can help. I wish you the best!

[DweamGoiL]

So sorry to hear about your feelings towards your hair, but I think you are maybe being a bit tough on yourself here. For the most part, we are always our own worse critics :) Maybe a few pictures of your hair and your current routine including your eating habits and if you have or have had any health issues in the past can help other members steer you in the right direction. However, please know there are plenty of others with your hairtype so don't give up :grouphug:

[MaryMarx]

Arctic and Elly May, thank you so much for answering. I've been posting before and got a lot of advice, but nothing has helped. I'm very grateful for all the time and effort and tips I got, though. I have some pictures in my hair progress album. The third picture is what it looks like nowadays, when it comes to quality. And I'm sorry but it is thin. :p That measurement says nothing about the hair except that it's thick at the roots. :(

[cathair]

I had a look in you album. Okay, it might not be long, but what your gained in terms of quality is a lot! It looks 100% healthier than it did at the beginning of the album. Whether it can grow longer or not now it is healthier, I don't know. But you have definitely achieved something in that time :grouphug: I hope for you that it will. Maybe some quality ignoring it for a while will help.

[DweamGoiL]

I agree with cathair. Your hair does look much much healthier at this point. I also think you may be a finey, my dear. Your hair looks very floaty in the pictures. I am not sure what you haven't tried or have tried, but if you are a finey vs. medium texture, it will definitely influence how your hair behaves and how it will respond to certain products and such. Stop being so sad. I actually wish I had your very pronounced wurls :)

[Arctic]

Mary, I looked at your album. So you seem to have hairtype that starts to fairytale quickly, is this the problem that's getting you down? I think your hair looked pretty in many photos (and let's face it, no-one takes always good hair photos: over half of mine are scalp cleavage-y and sparse with weird sticky out pieces and bobby pins :p I just don't post those photos :) ). Your colour is lovely, and it looks very soft and indeed, like cathair said, the condition looks superb!

I have seen hair growth pattern like yours here on LHC. I have seen it being refered as "scandinavian hair". I have seen it on many members, but can only remember 3 or 4. I will PM you the names, if that is ok. It might be your terminal length is shorter than on many, but not neccessarily.

[woodswanderer]

I think it looks a lot thicker at the ends than it did at the beginning. If you want more tips then we would need your routine. If you aren't looking for more tips, then maybe just realize that you are being too hard on yourself and your hair looks better than you think. :blossom:

[Ephemia]

I can empathise with this. Some days I really hate my hair, and I can't understand why I get so many compliments on it. For one thing, I have the most ridiculous parting ever. But I must say, I presume that's your hair in your avatar? It's gorgeous. I can't find your album and I probably don't have permission to view it yet, but from what these lovely ladies have said I'm sure you just don't realise what beautiful hair you have. I hope you will one day. I'm starting to see that about my own. :)

[vega]

Maybe try extensions my colleague cannot grow hair , her hair just doesn't grow past apl so she now has extensions and it has made her feel hppier

[Agnes Hannah]

Hi Mary, you have very similar hair to mine when mine was the same length as yours. Mine is very fine and wispy especially at the ends, and will fairytale if I let it. In spite of this mine has reached hip, so don't despair! I love your wurls and curls too,they are so feminine! How do you dry your hair? can you accentuate these wurls? perhaps you could try the curly girl technique because you have a definite wave there and this might help you feel better about wearing your hair down at times to show off the curls.

I also used clip in extensions for thickness, but not everyday. I started to wear my hair up at your length, I used a claw because that was the best way of keeping my hair contained, I still like claws and have one in right now. There is definitely progress in your photos so you are doing something right. You have pretty hair.

[Alex Lou]

I looked at your photos, and I'm going to agree that the way your hair grows is just bizarre. Not anything ugly, or anything you should be ashamed about or hiding, but certainly frustrating when you're trying to grow long hair! Have you seen your doctor about it? You might have an underlying illness or nutritional deficiency. If not, maybe your terminal length is just really short. Do you see pieces break off? Are there any splits? It looks like your hair is much thicker at the top. Is that the case?

[ravenheather]

Is there anything medically that could contribute to the lack of growth? I had a shed/stall for an entire year. Mine was n part due to vitamin d deficiency. Also a gluten sensitivity. Now I'm growing again at half an inch a month. I hope you can find a solution. I personally like fairytale ends especially on whurly hair like yours.

Eta: I second curly girl methods to make the most of your natural texture.

[Arctic]

<snip> the way your hair grows is just bizarre. <snip>
Plenty of people, including our members have same growth pattern.

[Knifegill]

It almost looks like overbrushing, or maybe the hair is fragile for some other reason. It looks thick at the start, and then just withers by the bottom. It is probably just genetically thin.

You supplement gelatin? Eat enough meat, or at least fish and eggs? I second the nutritional deficiency idea.

I've seen a lot of people with hair like yours, but they usually live in trailers and chain-smoke and eat junk food and do a lot of drugs. Not that I think you do any of those things, but that's who I've seen that hair on.

[mssummerrose]

First off, I think we all need to be sensitive to how our comments may come accross, although I am sure they are not meant bad.

Secondly, MaryMarx, I wonder if coming up with some different updo's might help you to feel better about your hair. Like Agnes Hannah suggested, claw clips can be wonderful, and can break the bun cycle. I also have fun doing a... not sure the LHC name for it... two-strand twist along my hairline, ending in a messy side bun. Or maybe some french or dutch braids could help you to feel refreshed about your hair? But it sounds like you were not looking for ideas, just some understanding and sympathy. I hope you feel better about the hair. It is a terrible feeling to dislike a part of yourself. You are at the right place for support!:grouphug:

[Arctic]

Knifegill I can't believe my eyes. How rude can you be? When someone is needing support and lifting up, that is a wrong time to offend them about the very thing they are feeling down about.

[Beborani]

You sound very young--reference to school and mom. Your hair looks pretty to me but if indeed your growth has stalled you should check into getting your thyroid checked and perhaps for other nutritional deficiencies--there maybe a simple solution, don't despair.

[Lyv]

It almost looks like overbrushing, or maybe the hair is fragile for some other reason. It looks thick at the start, and then just withers by the bottom. It is probably just genetically thin.

You supplement gelatin? Eat enough meat, or at least fish and eggs? I second the nutritional deficiency idea.

I've seen a lot of people with hair like yours, but they usually live in trailers and chain-smoke and eat junk food and do a lot of drugs. Not that I think you do any of those things, but that's who I've seen that hair on.

That's a really awful thing to say, especially to someone who came on here upset to begin with. We're supposed to support each other and give advice if they ask for it not insult each other. You should really rethink your approach if this was meant to be helpful at all.


*OP* I looked at your album and I think your hair has improved from where you started for sure! I wonder if maybe buns are hurting your ends more than helping? Mine don't do well being twisted or pinned, it makes them brittle and a little bent. To me it looks like your thickness has traveled down little by little so if you trim regularly while growing it may keep improving. Any damage, thinness, or dryness always looks 10x worse to us than it does to someone else because we are so critical of ourselves! If you are really concerned a trip to the doctor may help but I thing it's looking nice!

[elsieivy]

I'm sorry this is so frustrating for you. (And I can understand how it could be.) I agree with others who noticed that the condition of your hair seems to have improved a lot even if you haven't gained much length. Do you ever wear your hair in a gibson tuck? I think that's a beautiful style (especially with a small accent braid) and your hair looks to be the perfect length for it. I think very fine wurly hair with fairy tale ends looks rather beautiful and ethereal.

[Knifegill]

My words are not offensive. They are valid observations. If malnourished people who live in trailers tend to have weak, damaged hair, there is a correlation. That is why I second the nutrition theory. I am reading my statement again and again, and there is nothing offensive. I'm actually impressed that some of you managed to be offended by it. Well done! But please don't clutter up the thread with this emotionally fragile nonsense. She is asking for help, not whining. If you don't have a solution or an idea to help her, that's fine. I actually have a positive, constructive idea here. Based on real life. I'm sorry if you grew up wealthy or sheltered and never knew malnourished people, but this is a real thing.

[butter52]

I think you just have fine wurly hair which happens to frizz. Nothing strange or bad about it, actually very common for curlies.

Have you tried focusing on styling? This forum doesnt have much about it but curly hair forums have loads of information on styling products to tame frizz and keep wurls clumped in shape.

[LillithTheFirst]

I feel like I need more information. Has your hair been layered?Do you get a blunt cut then it becomes wispy at shoulder length? Is that your terminal length? Continually making a bun could be making the ends break off? Honestly I wouldn't even bother putting my hair up until it's at least BSL. Just leave it down and let it do its think. I don't see anything bad with it and I think you're just over thinking it. If it turns out that's your terminal length, then that's that, get a nice blunt cut bob, or get extensions or a weave if you really want long hair. Hiding your hair in a bun everyday for YEARS is just a waste. Short hair can look beautiful, take inspiration from the pin curls of the 50's or finger waves from the 20's.

[Illryeth]

Oh dear... please, first let me tell you there is still hope!!! DONT GIVE UP!!! I have been there... and it is possible!!!

Five years ago my hair was very close except MUCH thinner than yours in this picture... http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/album.php?albumid=9643&attachmentid=10015

Seriously, it was so bad I would cry so many times, and here is the proof:

http://s7.postimg.org/peubr2jkr/hairbefore.jpg

Now my hair is like this:
Hair here has been oiled quite a bit with coconut oil, this is why it lays so flat
http://s23.postimg.org/byirr4ifv/hairnow.jpg

And in this picture, my hair didnt have coconut oil so it kept volume
http://s10.postimg.org/6cbcuilp5/Hairnowdetail.jpg

Trust me, I understand you so well... and yes I know my hair is still very thin, but the condition and the health of it improved a lot! For me there is nothing I can do about how thin my hair will always look... thin hair runs in my family, and I dont think I can make extra hairs sprout... but YOU CAN. Your hair is much thicker than mine, so trust me when I tell you that YOU can do this, so much better than me!!!...:grouphug: But you may not like my answer... however I will share it anyway and it is your decision to take tips from here and there, or not at all! Because everyone of us is different we may never know how it will work on our own body just like Arctic once told me.

So here are my tips, this is what I have done

*I stopped ANY kind of heat going in my hair, no straightening, no blowdrying, no curling iron... NOTHING.

*I stopped the use of silicones. In shampoos, in conditioners, in hair masks, serums... I noticed that with more silicones I used, my hair would get more dry on the long run and get more split ends and just snap off.

*I stopped buying normal drugstore brands. I invested in a good shampoo, yes it may cost even up to 25 euros, but when I got those shampoos, they last me around two months or more, whilst in that time I would have ended many other drugstore shampoos.

*Keep it as simple as possible. Moisturizing, repairing, oil infused, magical, golden, unicorns... dont care about all that (maybe about the unicorns!). Seriously it never helped me, it only masked the problem, and we are trying to eliminate the problem instead of just masking it for a few months. Search for a very BASIC shampoo you can find, seriously the less ingredients it has, the better. And if you dont want to invest in a salon brand shampoo there is one that helped me a lot, which is this one here: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0TUXVw2LT7c/T6iy43ZfIiI/AAAAAAAACMY/VCOb1UIoPpE/s1600/IMG_8438.png

*It was important for me to start adding some oil to the ends of my hair after every wash, just a tiny drop and spread it on the ends. My ends are so thirsty they drink the oil in a few hours! Oils that work good for me are castor oil, coconut oil and argan oil, another one I would suggest is camellia oil.

*I didnt dye my hair in all these years with any hair dye. I didnt bleach, I didnt dye it black, I didnt even add those temporary colors, nothing.

*However I discovered henna, and it has made my hair so much thicker. It is late now but I might upload soon a picture of a hair strand so you can see how much it changed and helped.

*I tried some natural hair masks, but dont ask me what because I had no idea what I was doing, my mom was laughing at me on saturdays. I would just splash things I would find in the kitchen (or garden) on top of my head :D... I think once I mixed something like olive oil with honey, then olive oil with egg and honey, then honey with aloe vera and olive oil, only honey, only eggs... so please ask people to give you better recipes because I clearly had no clue! I just thought, hey it cant do harm I am eating those things! (except the aloe :D) and they didnt! But it was HARD to get those things off my hair xD.

*I stopped stressing. At least about the hair... in the times when the hair was the only thing I had in mind my hair was way worse. It fell a lot more, I would almost cry at any snap of it, I would get a really "nervous" thing which was to constantly rub my scalp, at the hair roots (mainly in one side of the hair in front and I can REALLY notice the difference between the other side). I can still see a bit of my scalp on this side because I only stopped doing this maybe a year ago, thankfully hair is growing back. Because I rubbed my scalp so much, even the newgrowth part of the hairs was already growing damaged because of all that manipulation I was putting on my hair.

*I got a satin pillow case!

*I stopped brushing my hair with brushes that were not meant for my hair. I got a tangle teezer, a boar bristle brush and a normal comb. I tried using a wide toothed comb but that was not working on my hair. I know it is the best thing anyone with long hair should have but it didnt work for me. Please make sure your comb doesnt have seams, and that your boar bristle brush has some space between the hairs! Dont get one of those where the hairs of the brush are very tight to each other, I noticed that breaking my hair even after combing it. Mason Pearson are apparently amazing for hair, I however dont have one because I found it too expensive.

*I stopped using hair toys that were not gentle for my hair. ( I am sorry I dont know many names of hair toys but I really hope you will understand what I mean ) ... no more plastic or metal things, no hair clams, things that have those little teeth in between the plastics, the thing I started to use a lot are big fluffy scrunchies covered with a very soft material!!! If you find them covered in silk or satin, its great!!!

*Please drink a lot more water! If you dont drink enough water your body will suffer for it and many of our body`s reactions go to the hair.

*Eliminate bad things in your life. In that time I was leaving school and went to work as a waitress. I was so stressed and that was certainly not good... after that I went to school where I was a lot calmer and it did help my hair slowly getting a bit better too!!!

*Be gentle, and be patient!

And this is what you will certainly not like... but its what helped me the most...

I cut my hair. I went on denial stages... where I only cut it as a bob hairstyle to my chin twice, until I came to the realization that the dryness and the split ends reached very close to my scalp. So I cut my hair in a pixie... my face is very round, so you can imagine how I looked :D but with time hair grew, and it grew healthier. Since then I keep cutting it and cutting it and letting it very slowly grow.
Now I will try to get microtrims every few months.

I think it should be also important to state a few mistakes I did which certainly made it harder for me to get healthier hair:
*(after the pixie) I trusted a hairdresser that promised me the world for the hair, longer hair, doesnt get damaged, helps with any new split, wont have to cut anymore.... He did a hair keratin treatment in a very bad way, the woman that assisted him pulled my hairs while straightening that weird solution into my hair, I could see smoke coming out. First month after this? Amazing hair, exactly what he promised, tangle free, silky, healthy... sure until the effect wore off, and there came the splits up to my ears, the dryness, the same effect you talked about when putting hair in a ponytail, my hair didnt fall on my back in any flowy way... instead it was so dry and stiff that my school colleagues and "friends" would always make fun of me. So there I had to go again and cut that damaged hair off... this time I wasnt as brave to cut it all off, so I kept my hair to my shoulder until now. I have maybe 3 cm to cut out but I will do that soon too!
The problem is, there is no miracle that can save damaged hair, it can only mask it and sometimes worsen it on the long way.

And please understand that I only explained what I did to get healthier hair back! :( That doesnt mean that the same thing would help you! Maybe your hair cant live without silicones! Maybe natural homemade masks wont work for you and you may need store bought ones!... We are all different!
So please I want everybody to understand before telling me I am wrong or anything else, that its what I did and what worked for me! I must admit sometimes I am terrified posting anything I know, did or learned from somewhere else on this forum because I might not get a good reaction or I might even have people that dont believe me or tell me I am totally wrong, which I accept, I like criticism, made in a friendly way, but I am so sensitive I never want to offend anyone, and I cry like a little kid when someone thinks wrong of me for things I didnt even mean in a bad way... I am 21... still a child at heart :D.

So I really hope my dear that this will ease your mind!!! :grouphug: I know it is not a wonderful WOW effect improvement but it is so much better as you can see! And if I could have done it out of those few strands of hair on my head, you can definitely do it with your hair! Dont lose hope, and be patient!!! Only with time you will see results, but they will come, and even when you feel like giving up please dont!!!
If you have any question please do ask me here or privately however you feel more comfortable!
God bless!

Edit: I think I should also state that I am aware how bad my hair looked, but I never touched drugs, cigarettes in my entire life, I dont even drink coffee, I even ate a lot of vegetables and meat, salmon, I didnt eat junk food...I did really bad decisions when I was a teenager like bleaching it, heat damaging it,the stress I had at work... anyway this wasnt easy to post, but I think the OP deserves to know that there is hope!

[Knifegill]

Yes, patience! I see progress already. Keep trying things, something will work! Moar steak might help.

[mssummerrose]

I'm getting worried that maybe we scared off the OP.
Anyway, if you are still here, I looked at your "random hair pics" album, and your hair is adorable!! You have such cute updos-braids and twists and what-not, but in all of them (or most? or just some?) you say that this or that part of the braid is not good, or thin, or whatever, and that you wouldn't wear it out of the house. I definitely think you are over-judging your hair. All if your looks (even the half-up twists that you disparage from the back) look wonderful. You hair has great up-do potential. I hope you can learn to embrace it. I am so sad for you that you don't yet see how beautiful your hair is - and that you are a skilled braider!! If you worked with me, I would be that obnoxious person swooning over your styles. :)

[cat11]

Ilryeth has GREAT advice. All of those things are super good for anyones have especially fineys!!

And dont whatever you do get frustrated and rip through your hair detangling. Only detangle when you have like a half hour t oslowly section snd work from the bottom up. Even if y ou dont love your hair, treat it with love. This will make you love it more later, all the care you take.

I have fine hair and a silk pillowcase helped SO much. And a silk sleepcap. Especially the cap. It cut down tangles drastically which cuts down breakage drastically, and your hair look slike it's breaking on the ends.


I think you could benefit from going to the DR and having him give you your blood levels to rule out for sure if you have any deficiencies, and if you dont, go the preventing breakage route. Condition condition condition. Stretch washes. Treat it like antique lace! Take care of your body.

Plus, when i saw your hair, even though it is thinning its very shiny at the roots and has beautiful color. If thats not your natural color you should switch to henna because it coats and thickens the hair and gives that type of color.

[Acidrop]

Illryeth, that was such a helpful and well thought out post!

I really like reading what people have done, or tried, and what they thought of the results.

It's the sort of thread I'm looking for here, ones from people who are willing to mark the path for others coming along later.

You're a kind and generous person sharing your experiences.

[Larki]

And dont whatever you do get frustrated and rip through your hair detangling. Only detangle when you have like a half hour t oslowly section snd work from the bottom up. Even if y ou dont love your hair, treat it with love. This will make you love it more later, all the care you take.

I have fine hair and a silk pillowcase helped SO much. And a silk sleepcap. Especially the cap. It cut down tangles drastically which cuts down breakage drastically, and your hair look slike it's breaking on the ends.


I think you could benefit from going to the DR and having him give you your blood levels to rule out for sure if you have any deficiencies, and if you dont, go the preventing breakage route. Condition condition condition. Stretch washes. Treat it like antique lace! Take care of your body.

I second all of this! I also have super fine hair and although it has never been tangly, it still breaks and splits really, really easily. I use a silk sleep cap (from adorabellababy on Etsy) that I use almost every night, as well as a satin pillowcase. I detangle gently, first with a wide tooth comb (from Eternally in Amber on Etsy) and then with a fine tooth comb (same seller). I co-wash 2-3 times a week which has helped my hair because it's most moisturized, and less dry and frizzy and fragile, and I do deep conditioning before every wash.

[allycat]

MaryMarx, don't be sad! You have one of my favorite hair types! I don't understand the people that seem down on it. I guess because I have a sister with your hair type it doesn't look surprising to me. I think it's quite beautiful! Just like fairy hair.

My sister's hair looks almost exactly like your pictures, especially 5 & 6, which look like healthy, but very fine, brushed out curls to me. And hers is VERY fine, with loose curls, but becomes thin, floaty and wispy at the ends, (quite like the baby hair you see on some fine-haired children) which maybe is an unusual combination so people aren't familiar with seeing? Hers is not that thick, so it looks very floaty and ethereal - which are the exact qualities that I love about it! She tries not to trim too much, regular dustings off the ends, but she said she doesn't trim a lot anymore because no matter how much she cuts, her ends always go back to wispy like that. She just has learned to like it as her own.

As someone earlier posted, I have seen several members here with your type. I wish I could remember them all, but I noticed that some of them started out here feeling very worried about their hair because it is unusual, as yours may be. It seems to be thick and then just fairy tale quickly. I wish I could say why its not getting longer, but perhaps it doesn't grow fast (my sister's does not).

I would say that you should just be as very gentle as possible. I think it's a very fragile hair type. I don't know about pony tails though - the bands probably could cause mechanical damage.

I hope Annibelle doesn't mind I mention her name because I think it was her hair when she joined that I remember noticing how lovely and fairy-like it was, with curly wispy ends like yours. I think it is longer now. Maybe you can PM her for advice?

Good luck! Keep growing, and don't despair! I wish you could see how pretty it is.

(Eta: her hair (and yours) look like the adult version of this cute little Swedish girl's hair type. Just a little longer and straighter on the canopy without the layers :)
http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/90440760-girl-with-a-blue-tounge-sweden-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=ImLwYwIjHiCuJTFU1QiJQpME%2BvmS2yRas78KqQm8z7%2FZ cCZEwHSLeP5VlxOTskYsifiCNQlc%2FcOm8oEe94r5gw%3D%3D

[Frankenstein]

I hate that you're feeling sad but totally understand, thin can be SO discouraging at times. For what it's worth, your hair doesn't look that unusual to me, and it surely is much better than you think :) Looking at your pictures it seems that you've come a long way, please don't throw in the towel just yet. It can take a very long time to discover what works for you and what the best way of improving your hair is. Even if you feel that you never accomplish that, most everyone has something about themselves that isn't quite what they want it to be, as I'm sure you know. You just have to learn to embrace what you have! I know it's way easier said than done, but it's completely achievable. Hope you feel better soon.

[MaryMarx]

I'm getting worried that maybe we scared off the OP.)

I'm here! It was late though so I had to sleep and now I'm off to school so I'll be back to answer later, but I'm very happy to see all the answers and how understanding you are! :)

[restless]

To OP: Youve been given plenty of great advice in this thread and Im not gonna sit here and repeat it. However, I just wanted to chime in and say I think youre being way too harsh on yourself! I looked through your album and I think youve made a lot of progress and the thickness has definitley travelled down. Give yourself a break, it looks lovely :)


I looked at your photos, and I'm going to agree that the way your hair grows is just bizarre. Not anything ugly, or anything you should be ashamed about or hiding, but certainly frustrating when you're trying to grow long hair!


I've seen a lot of people with hair like yours, but they usually live in trailers and chain-smoke and eat junk food and do a lot of drugs. Not that I think you do any of those things, but that's who I've seen that hair on.

Guys... wtf?

[YvetteVarie]

Is there anything medically that could contribute to the lack of growth? I had a shed/stall for an entire year. Mine was n part due to vitamin d deficiency. Also a gluten sensitivity. Now I'm growing again at half an inch a month. I hope you can find a solution. I personally like fairytale ends especially on whurly hair like yours.

Eta: I second curly girl methods to make the most of your natural texture.

Does gluten intolerance/allergy cause shedding? Because if so, I have found the case of my major shed happening right now

ETA: OP I think your hair is pretty. Maybe your hair growth is slightly slower than the rest but still pretty. I second the working to emphasise your waves and curls. It will help to make your hair look like it has a lot more volume and thickness.

[ravenheather]

Does gluten intolerance/allergy cause shedding? Because if so, I have found the case of my major shed happening right now.

It definitely can. Gluten intolerance can contribute to thyroid dysfunction as well as other autoimmune problems.

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Hey OP! I like your hair, it's got a lovely pattern to it. My own hair grows at all different rates so it tends to look thin at the ends or longer on one side when I'm growing it out. It could just be that you need to maintain at one length for a while until all of your hairs catch up in length which will increase the thickness as well. If you're upset about the fairytales, don't be - plenty of people have them! (actually I can only think of a handful that don't have them when not keeping up with trims). If it's because of a growth stall, plenty of people have already given you some solid advice. :)

[chen bao jun]

Scandinavian blondes like you with very fine hair oddly enough can be helped by good advice for African American hair, because although they look so different, both hairtypes are usually super fine and fragile And delicate. Besides the advice on here, you might profit from looking at black websites for growing long hair, especially the advice on protein moisture balance. You can't be protective in the same way (I wouldn't do tiny braids if I were you ), but the right kind of protein treatment could help a lot with growth retention.

[Silverbrumby]

I have Swedish genes from my dad and I also have a short terminal. It can be frustrating seeing everyone zoom by me. Being told by everyone can grow to hip if they just try. It doesn't happen for some of us. I've been growing for 4 years and I'm still at BSL after blunt hemming back to APL six times. Didn't help. Fairy tail ends always . I think your hair does look lovely and I was going to suggest things that work for me when I want something more than I have. I have clip in hair I use for special occasions, nice toys, sock buns etc. All these things have helped.

I often thought of starting up a short terminal thread. Hang in there, your hair is lovely.

[texangrrl]

Illryeth, that was some great advice you gave her!! And to the OP, I looked through your album and I can tell a difference in the improved healthiness of your hair. Don't give up hope!! LHC is full of members willing to support you and give you great advice because we all share a common goal of healthy, beautiful hair. :grouphug:

[Wusel]

Your hair is really pretty.
Looks like how I would imagine the hair of an angel.
Be proud of it and wear it loose with your chin up.
You can be happy because you have very SPECIAL hair.
There aren't many people who can grow such wonderful natural fairytale ends at a shorter length. It's rare. Most people have fairytales with very long hair or APL hair with a blunt hemline, like I do.

PLEASE, PLEASE be thankful for being special and don't be sad!

I love watching your hair photos. Your hair is really cute.

[truepeacenik]

My words are not offensive. They are valid observations. If malnourished people who live in trailers tend to have weak, damaged hair, there is a correlation. That is why I second the nutrition theory. I am reading my statement again and again, and there is nothing offensive. I'm actually impressed that some of you managed to be offended by it. Well done! But please don't clutter up the thread with this emotionally fragile nonsense. She is asking for help, not whining. If you don't have a solution or an idea to help her, that's fine. I actually have a positive, constructive idea here. Based on real life. I'm sorry if you grew up wealthy or sheltered and never knew malnourished people, but this is a real thing.

You could have stated malnourished without the drugs and trailer references. That's a special form of classism.
I stepped in it early on, here. I learned not to step back into it. ;)


MaryMarx,
We all loathe our hair at some point. I wish for, nay lust for thick blunt ends, even as I know my few buns won't work with them.
I have your same issue, just sitting on my butt. The long stalls, the trims with second thoughts, the frustration.

I do see phenomenal change in your hair, and it's the best looking shoulder length I've ever taken notice of.
It looks silky, has some movement.
I add some oil/conditioner to my ends when they want to go horizontal. Sure, I have to clarify them occasionally, but I can see my ends. Henna did a similar benefit, but I didn't want to alter my own red.

Maybe letting it be just hair/just getting healthy hair will do a bit longer.
Love what is now, and welcome what may come.

[ChloeDharma]

Right, where do I start. Firstly the comment a couple of pages ago about the OP's hair looking like people with very unhealthy lifestyles is just complete nonsense! I also agree with those who pointed out that it was worded in such a way that a person already feeling upset about their hair could find it very painful. This is a supportive community and being so harsh felt very out of place here. I must also add that I just disagree with the observations. I also can't understand how someone could say the OP's hair is "bizarre", it just isn't! I've looked through quite a few of the photos and found myself thinking "oh how pretty!" quite often.

MaryMarx I can sympathise with how you feel as I have been through hair loss, extreeme tapering at a very short length, for years I would only wear my hair in a slicked back bun and wouldn't let anybody see my hair down as I felt it looked so bad. The thing is you do have really nice hair, it looks so soft and silky and I can see that the quality of hair coming out is very good. You have lovely romantic looking curls and if I saw your hair in the street I would think to myself how nice it looks. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, I honestly like your hair in many of your pictures, you certainly know how to make it look lovely. Your hair may be at terminal or it may not, the thing with fine hair is it can be so fragile that one incident of stress on it can take off months or even years of growth from individual hairs. So many times I've heard my hairs snap and my heart just sinks.
If this is your terminal length or the unavoidable stresses of daily life are too difficult to avoid then I would just make the most of what you have and I repeat, what you have looks bloody nice in my opinion. You have enviable shine, lovely curls and seem skilled with updo's and making the most of what you have. I would advise just treating it as gently as is reasonable, maybe look into things like henna, bhringraj, amla, fenugreek and castor oil, these have all helped me in this struggle but if you don't want to try those or other treatments then I do think what you have is fine.

[Wusel]

I've looked through quite a few of the photos and found myself thinking "oh how pretty!" quite often.

MaryMarx I can sympathise with how you feel as I have been through hair loss, extreeme tapering at a very short length, for years I would only wear my hair in a slicked back bun and wouldn't let anybody see my hair down as I felt it looked so bad. The thing is you do have really nice hair, it looks so soft and silky and I can see that the quality of hair coming out is very good. You have lovely romantic looking curls and if I saw your hair in the street I would think to myself how nice it looks. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, I honestly like your hair in many of your pictures, you certainly know how to make it look lovely. Your hair may be at terminal or it may not, the thing with fine hair is it can be so fragile that one incident of stress on it can take off months or even years of growth from individual hairs. So many times I've heard my hairs snap and my heart just sinks.
If this is your terminal length or the unavoidable stresses of daily life are too difficult to avoid then I would just make the most of what you have and I repeat, what you have looks bloody nice in my opinion. You have enviable shine, lovely curls and seem skilled with updo's and making the most of what you have.

Exactly!
You see... many of us love your hair!

[Eleven]

Hello MaryMax.
So sad to hear that you feel that way about your hair. I'm not capable of looking at your album, but the way others here have described your hair - it sounds lovely.
Personally I love fairy tail ends. My hair is on the other side of the spectrum: very thick. So I'll probably be never able to have those lovely delicate wurlies.
A lot of people have given you a lot of compliments here and I'm sure they really mean what they say. I know you're having a hard time right now, but don't give up. :flower:

[SGBSteve]

I have no tips or advice for you but for what its worth I checked out your progress album and I can say from a man's perspective that I also think your hair is quite lovely.

Your hair seems to have some wave and curl in it. IMO you should try to make the rest of your hair curly too if possible (I love girls with wavy/curly hair). I used to do everything I could to make my hair straight but I just ended up frustrating myself. Finally I learned to embrace my natural waves and curls and I'm so much happier now.

And yeah we are all our own worst critics but I think you're being a little too harsh on yourself. I hope that what the others have posted here will help you.

Edit: I've also been away from here for a long time. I guess I need to do some updates.

[chen bao jun]

Read back through the thread and realized I forgot to say that the OP has pretty hair, in my opinion, fine and ethereal doesn't mean it looks bad. I got so focused on offering advice that I forgot to say that I liked the photos.

Which look typical of a certain hairtype ('scandinavian blond'--not always blonde and not always scandinavian) which you don't see grown long very much because it is harder to do, women with this hairtype often just stay pixied because of the difficulties of keeping very fine delicate hair from breaking off. I'm glad the OP has decided not to do that as it is lovely when longer! If you look at medieval paintings in illuminated manuscripts, you will notice that the Virgin Mary is very, very often depicted with this hairtype, down to the wispy fairytale ends, usually with shorter hair than other people depicted (around bra strap). she is still supposed to be the most beautiful one and the hair is depicted with loving care.

Glad I missed the drama on earlier pages. In my opinion, we can all make a thoughtless comment, its especially easy to do on the internet when writing fast, I've done it myself. Why not just apologize instead of trying to pretend that it wasn't --well, rude and that others are the ones who have the problem and are over-sensitive. I actually think the OP has been very gracious, ignoring it and not being sensitive about it.

I would have more respect for you, Knifegill, if you just said something at this point like,' that didn't come out right, sorry.'

because it didn't come out right.

[yahirwaO.o]

Your hair is nice the way it is. I know looking at thick hair on other people can feel like intimidating when you try to compare. Still fine and delicate hair when long has its own beauty. Try to brush less and oil a bit more so texture can show a bit more fullness or trying some heatless curls to enhance them.

Feeling down is ok once in a while, but you can handle this emotion towards a more positive persective of your hair. I really liked the 3rd photo of your album, its just beautiful.

[MaryMarx]

I knew posting here would make me feel better!
I've had some busy days so I haven't had the time to answer all of you, but I will have the time this weekend. :)

[Knifegill]

Your hair already does look nice. Never any offense meant, but I'm pretty sure you knew that, though others were apparently confused. This place has been helpful to me, and I see a lot of good ideas that should help you, too, I hope. Stick around! Can't wait to see how your hair looks in the future. :D

[lapushka]

Do you have it trimmed a lot? I'm just wondering...

[MaryMarx]

So sorry to hear about your feelings towards your hair, but I think you are maybe being a bit tough on yourself here. For the most part, we are always our own worse critics :) Maybe a few pictures of your hair and your current routine including your eating habits and if you have or have had any health issues in the past can help other members steer you in the right direction. However, please know there are plenty of others with your hairtype so don't give up :grouphug:

I agree with cathair. Your hair does look much much healthier at this point. I also think you may be a finey, my dear. Your hair looks very floaty in the pictures. I am not sure what you haven't tried or have tried, but if you are a finey vs. medium texture, it will definitely influence how your hair behaves and how it will respond to certain products and such. Stop being so sad. I actually wish I had your very pronounced wurls :)
Thank you for the encouragment! I will add some updated pics in the album or try to paste them here since some members can't see my album.
You mentioned the possibility of me being an F, maybe that's the case! I've just compared to people with really fine hair and people with thick, and came to the conclusion that I'm somewhere in between. I have a friend with fine hair, and when she has it in a ponytail it pours down like water, really. While mine is horizontal. So I kind of thought fine hair had a nice flow.


I had a look in you album. Okay, it might not be long, but what your gained in terms of quality is a lot! It looks 100% healthier than it did at the beginning of the album. Whether it can grow longer or not now it is healthier, I don't know. But you have definitely achieved something in that time :grouphug: I hope for you that it will. Maybe some quality ignoring it for a while will help.
Thanks! I've been trimming it a lot between the pictures, I actually think the growth speed is quite normal, maybe just a bit slow.


Mary, I looked at your album. So you seem to have hairtype that starts to fairytale quickly, is this the problem that's getting you down? I think your hair looked pretty in many photos (and let's face it, no-one takes always good hair photos: over half of mine are scalp cleavage-y and sparse with weird sticky out pieces and bobby pins :p I just don't post those photos :) ). Your colour is lovely, and it looks very soft and indeed, like cathair said, the condition looks superb!

I have seen hair growth pattern like yours here on LHC. I have seen it being refered as "scandinavian hair". I have seen it on many members, but can only remember 3 or 4. I will PM you the names, if that is ok. It might be your terminal length is shorter than on many, but not neccessarily.
Thank you a lot for the PM! I will take a closer look when I have some more time.
I don't mind the fairytale, I like that too. It's the... I don't know if structure is the wight word but I think so, that the hair doesn't ”hang” down my neck, it floats around my neck, and it doesn't look right. In the pictures here I might have smoothed it down just for it to look better.
It's kind f soft, but only on the top. Further down it's rough.


I think it looks a lot thicker at the ends than it did at the beginning. If you want more tips then we would need your routine. If you aren't looking for more tips, then maybe just realize that you are being too hard on yourself and your hair looks better than you think. :blossom:
Really? I'm happy to hear that! I know I said I've tried it all, but with all the hair wisdom here, I've changed my mind. I will add the needed information later in another post. Thank you. :)


I can empathise with this. Some days I really hate my hair, and I can't understand why I get so many compliments on it. For one thing, I have the most ridiculous parting ever. But I must say, I presume that's your hair in your avatar? It's gorgeous. I can't find your album and I probably don't have permission to view it yet, but from what these lovely ladies have said I'm sure you just don't realise what beautiful hair you have. I hope you will one day. I'm starting to see that about my own. :)
Thanks a lot, that was warming to hear. :) I don't know why you can't find my album, I don't have any private settings or anything. But maybe I can add some pics here, if I remember how to.

[MaryMarx]

Maybe try extensions my colleague cannot grow hair , her hair just doesn't grow past apl so she now has extensions and it has made her feel hppier
Thank you for the tip, but I've had extensions and I won't go there again. (It was about 8 years ago so it's not affecting the current quality though.)


Hi Mary, you have very similar hair to mine when mine was the same length as yours. Mine is very fine and wispy especially at the ends, and will fairytale if I let it. In spite of this mine has reached hip, so don't despair! I love your wurls and curls too,they are so feminine! How do you dry your hair? can you accentuate these wurls? perhaps you could try the curly girl technique because you have a definite wave there and this might help you feel better about wearing your hair down at times to show off the curls.

I also used clip in extensions for thickness, but not everyday. I started to wear my hair up at your length, I used a claw because that was the best way of keeping my hair contained, I still like claws and have one in right now. There is definitely progress in your photos so you are doing something right. You have pretty hair.
Thank you! :) That is really comforting to hear. I will add a post to describe my routine further down. :)


I looked at your photos, and I'm going to agree that the way your hair grows is just bizarre. Not anything ugly, or anything you should be ashamed about or hiding, but certainly frustrating when you're trying to grow long hair! Have you seen your doctor about it? You might have an underlying illness or nutritional deficiency. If not, maybe your terminal length is just really short. Do you see pieces break off? Are there any splits? It looks like your hair is much thicker at the top. Is that the case?
Well, maybe I wouldn't call it bizarre. ;)
No splits, no breaking (as far as I can tell, it's hard to see), and yes, it's way thicker at the top! No problem with volume there, and it's smooth and shiny and then there is this birds nest... I have had my thyroid checked twice, but I understand that it will not always show up on tests, maybe I should go back, it was a couple of years ago.


Is there anything medically that could contribute to the lack of growth? I had a shed/stall for an entire year. Mine was n part due to vitamin d deficiency. Also a gluten sensitivity. Now I'm growing again at half an inch a month. I hope you can find a solution. I personally like fairytale ends especially on whurly hair like yours.

Eta: I second curly girl methods to make the most of your natural texture.
I have been thinking about my pills... but my hair was weird before I started with them, or atleast I think so... The growth is actually pretty okay, I trim a lot so it's not visible in the pictures. Thank you. :) I like fairytale ends too, but not when they're as rough as mine.


It almost looks like overbrushing, or maybe the hair is fragile for some other reason. It looks thick at the start, and then just withers by the bottom. It is probably just genetically thin.

You supplement gelatin? Eat enough meat, or at least fish and eggs? I second the nutritional deficiency idea.

I've seen a lot of people with hair like yours, but they usually live in trailers and chain-smoke and eat junk food and do a lot of drugs. Not that I think you do any of those things, but that's who I've seen that hair on.
I know, it does! But I don't brush it, it's so weird. Could be genetics, though my sister has a great head of hair.
I do not take any supplements at the time... and I never eat fish. Not much eggs either. I eat a lot of chicken and at times I eat very good for a while and then when I'm stressed a bit worse. But probably better than a lot of other normal eating people.
And the thing about the trailer stuff... well. What if I did? ;D

[MaryMarx]

First off, I think we all need to be sensitive to how our comments may come accross, although I am sure they are not meant bad.

Secondly, MaryMarx, I wonder if coming up with some different updo's might help you to feel better about your hair. Like Agnes Hannah suggested, claw clips can be wonderful, and can break the bun cycle. I also have fun doing a... not sure the LHC name for it... two-strand twist along my hairline, ending in a messy side bun. Or maybe some french or dutch braids could help you to feel refreshed about your hair? But it sounds like you were not looking for ideas, just some understanding and sympathy. I hope you feel better about the hair. It is a terrible feeling to dislike a part of yourself. You are at the right place for support!:grouphug:
Thanks. It's okay, I'm not sensitive, and I hope no one else got offended.
I'm not a friend of claw clips, not the big ones atleast because they emphasize the problem, I think!
Oh and I welcome ideas and tips anyway, off course, I haven't given up yet! :) Thank you for the encouragment. :)


You sound very young--reference to school and mom. Your hair looks pretty to me but if indeed your growth has stalled you should check into getting your thyroid checked and perhaps for other nutritional deficiencies--there maybe a simple solution, don't despair.
I'm 30 in December, so not super young. :) Thank you. It hasn't stalled, I just won't give it a chance to grow because I always think that maybe this time if I trim it it will thicken up... it never does though. But the growth is pretty normal. I've had my thyroid checked some years ago, twice actually but it never showed anything. But there just has to be something wrong. :/


*OP* I looked at your album and I think your hair has improved from where you started for sure! I wonder if maybe buns are hurting your ends more than helping? Mine don't do well being twisted or pinned, it makes them brittle and a little bent. To me it looks like your thickness has traveled down little by little so if you trim regularly while growing it may keep improving. Any damage, thinness, or dryness always looks 10x worse to us than it does to someone else because we are so critical of ourselves! If you are really concerned a trip to the doctor may help but I thing it's looking nice!
Do you think so? That's great! Maybe, I will add a picture of my everyday style, I'm quite sure it's not good for my hair in any way... you're so kind! I might see a doctor about it.


I'm sorry this is so frustrating for you. (And I can understand how it could be.) I agree with others who noticed that the condition of your hair seems to have improved a lot even if you haven't gained much length. Do you ever wear your hair in a gibson tuck? I think that's a beautiful style (especially with a small accent braid) and your hair looks to be the perfect length for it. I think very fine wurly hair with fairy tale ends looks rather beautiful and ethereal.
Thank you. :) I have been trimming it a lot so that is why there is not much growth in the pictures. I had forgotten the Gibson tuck! Thanks for reminding me, I wore it yesterday after reading your post, although a bit altered. I will try to wear that instead of my everyday ”ponytail bun”, since that might be my problem!


I think you just have fine wurly hair which happens to frizz. Nothing strange or bad about it, actually very common for curlies.

Have you tried focusing on styling? This forum doesnt have much about it but curly hair forums have loads of information on styling products to tame frizz and keep wurls clumped in shape.
Maybe it's not more complicated than that! Would length help with that? I feel like my hair is too light, like it needs to grow to get some weight.
I could probably benefit a lot from learning more how to style my hair...

[Knifegill]

I would start by making eggs a regular part of your diet, even 3 or 4 a day would be a good nutritional boost. But not toxic eggs from the store, find a local place that lets their birds forage. I believe in eggs so much that I got ducks, and aim for 4 to 8 eggs a day most days. I was buying from a farm, but I have 4 baby golden 300 layers growing big now, that will get me to my 8 eggs a day goal. It can't hurt, eggs are only good for you.

I know I, for one, can't afford even cheap steak all that often, and I won't eat CAFO meat except at birthday parties or whatever. But for the powerhouse of nutrition they are, eggs are worth every dime.

[MaryMarx]

Illryeth: Oh my god, that's my hair right there! This is such a release, really, I'm telling the truth when I say I have never seen anyone with hair like mine. Until this picture (and I hope you understand that I like your hair and the way I complain about my own hair does not mean that I think the same about you previous hair, but well, I guess you know what I mean :) )
I can't believe that's the same person on the other pictures. Beautiful!

I appreciate your tips a lot, and the time you took to write this down. You're a great person. :)
Haha, I won't give up the unicorns! ;) I will copy and paste this, and read it well. If you are interested in my current routine I will write it down later and post. Again, thank you! :)

[pili]

The description of your hair reminded me of something I had read before and sure enough…

From the new edition of Lorraine Massey's Curly Girl:

Cherub Curls:

*Had curly hair from birth.
*Baby fine curl spirals that resemble the hair of a young child – whether you’re eight years old or eighty.
*Curls that seem as delicate as gold leaf because they easily disperse with outside interferences such as wind, moving around while you sleep or too much touching.
*Curls that are weightless to the touch and have a translucency to them like a halo.
*A variety of curl lengths on your head.
*Curls that take a long time to grow and never seem to grow past a certain point. (Don’t worry, they will grow with the right care).
*Curls that have a shorter life span because they are so fragile that they break easily.
*A spring factor of 5-10 inches.

The texture of cherub curls is fine or mostly fine but the porosity can vary.

BTW, I love your hair type! I had a good friend in high school with your curl type and I always wanted her soft hair instead of the heavy straw hair I had.

[MaryMarx]

I'm getting worried that maybe we scared off the OP.
Anyway, if you are still here, I looked at your "random hair pics" album, and your hair is adorable!! You have such cute updos-braids and twists and what-not, but in all of them (or most? or just some?) you say that this or that part of the braid is not good, or thin, or whatever, and that you wouldn't wear it out of the house. I definitely think you are over-judging your hair. All if your looks (even the half-up twists that you disparage from the back) look wonderful. You hair has great up-do potential. I hope you can learn to embrace it. I am so sad for you that you don't yet see how beautiful your hair is - and that you are a skilled braider!! If you worked with me, I would be that obnoxious person swooning over your styles. :)
So, here's the longer answer!
Thank you so, so much for those kind words. The thing about those updos is that they only work like once in half a year, when my hair feels like looking good/better. And always just after washing, the day after washing, the hair looks like it's another person's, it's crazy. But I appreciate your kind words. :) I will try to change my thinking, and taking better care of my hair too. Thank you. :)


Ilryeth has GREAT advice. All of those things are super good for anyones have especially fineys!!
And dont whatever you do get frustrated and rip through your hair detangling. Only detangle when you have like a half hour t oslowly section snd work from the bottom up. Even if y ou dont love your hair, treat it with love. This will make you love it more later, all the care you take.
I have fine hair and a silk pillowcase helped SO much. And a silk sleepcap. Especially the cap. It cut down tangles drastically which cuts down breakage drastically, and your hair look slike it's breaking on the ends.


I think you could benefit from going to the DR and having him give you your blood levels to rule out for sure if you have any deficiencies, and if you dont, go the preventing breakage route. Condition condition condition. Stretch washes. Treat it like antique lace! Take care of your body.
Plus, when i saw your hair, even though it is thinning its very shiny at the roots and has beautiful color. If thats not your natural color you should switch to henna because it coats and thickens the hair and gives that type of color.
Thank you! I actually bought a silk pillowcase, but I think I ruined it since I washed it in the washing machine but I know you're not supposed to... I kind of don't have any tangles, since it's so thin. I guess that's a good thing! I will consider the doctor. I just have a hard time doing it because I always feel like I'm exaggerating, like I'm taking up their precious time. I know it's stupid. :p


MaryMarx, don't be sad! You have one of my favorite hair types! I don't understand the people that seem down on it. I guess because I have a sister with your hair type it doesn't look surprising to me. I think it's quite beautiful! Just like fairy hair.

My sister's hair looks almost exactly like your pictures, especially 5 & 6, which look like healthy, but very fine, brushed out curls to me. And hers is VERY fine, with loose curls, but becomes thin, floaty and wispy at the ends, (quite like the baby hair you see on some fine-haired children) which maybe is an unusual combination so people aren't familiar with seeing? Hers is not that thick, so it looks very floaty and ethereal - which are the exact qualities that I love about it! She tries not to trim too much, regular dustings off the ends, but she said she doesn't trim a lot anymore because no matter how much she cuts, her ends always go back to wispy like that. She just has learned to like it as her own.

As someone earlier posted, I have seen several members here with your type. I wish I could remember them all, but I noticed that some of them started out here feeling very worried about their hair because it is unusual, as yours may be. It seems to be thick and then just fairy tale quickly. I wish I could say why its not getting longer, but perhaps it doesn't grow fast (my sister's does not).

I would say that you should just be as very gentle as possible. I think it's a very fragile hair type. I don't know about pony tails though - the bands probably could cause mechanical damage.

I hope Annibelle doesn't mind I mention her name because I think it was her hair when she joined that I remember noticing how lovely and fairy-like it was, with curly wispy ends like yours. I think it is longer now. Maybe you can PM her for advice?

Good luck! Keep growing, and don't despair! I wish you could see how pretty it is.

(Eta: her hair (and yours) look like the adult version of this cute little Swedish girl's hair type. Just a little longer and straighter on the canopy without the layers :)
http://cache1.asset-cache.net/gc/90440760-girl-with-a-blue-tounge-sweden-gettyimages.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=ImLwYwIjHiCuJTFU1QiJQpME%2BvmS2yRas78KqQm8z7%2FZ cCZEwHSLeP5VlxOTskYsifiCNQlc%2FcOm8oEe94r5gw%3D%3D
I'm so grateful you found this post! Very encouraging to hear, thank you! :) I guess it just fairytales quickly and I need to accept that. What I find strange is that everyone talks about that fine, Scandinavian hair, but actually that is not that common! In my class, or in school in general, most girls have thick or very thick hair. I guess that is why I feel like an alien. Everyone I know can wear their hair out or in a normal ponytail, and altough it makes me sad I'm a tough one and I won't let it get to me. Also my problem with slow growth is mostly my own fault since I can't stop trimming it, those whispy ends drive me crazy and then I can't resist.


I hate that you're feeling sad but totally understand, thin can be SO discouraging at times. For what it's worth, your hair doesn't look that unusual to me, and it surely is much better than you think :) Looking at your pictures it seems that you've come a long way, please don't throw in the towel just yet. It can take a very long time to discover what works for you and what the best way of improving your hair is. Even if you feel that you never accomplish that, most everyone has something about themselves that isn't quite what they want it to be, as I'm sure you know. You just have to learn to embrace what you have! I know it's way easier said than done, but it's completely achievable. Hope you feel better soon.
You're lovely, thank you so much for those kind words. I will work on it. :)



To OP: Youve been given plenty of great advice in this thread and Im not gonna sit here and repeat it. However, I just wanted to chime in and say I think youre being way too harsh on yourself! I looked through your album and I think youve made a lot of progress and the thickness has definitley travelled down. Give yourself a break, it looks lovely :)
Thank you so much! I will try to take better care of it, be careful and most of all change the way I think and feel about it. As much as I hate it, it's still my hair and we're going to live together for a long time. :)

[MaryMarx]

Do you have it trimmed a lot? I'm just wondering...
Yes, quite often. I really try not to but those ends always drive me mad and I keep thinking "just another trim, then the thin ends will be gone forever" which I know is not working.

[mssummerrose]

Wow, MaryMarx, you have been busy!! :) You mentioned your daily "ponytail bun". Do you put your hair in a ponytail first, with an elastic, before bunning it? That could cause quite a lot of breakage, if that is the case....

[lapushka]

Yes, quite often. I really try not to but those ends always drive me mad and I keep thinking "just another trim, then the thin ends will be gone forever" which I know is not working.

I thought so, looking at your pictures... Maybe try and motivate yourself to stop trimming so often. It's not going to help any with growth and progress. Your ends will sometimes lay badly, but that's natural and the normal process of growing it out. It might lay better next wash or the next day even. The key is to stop following it so closely and to stop scrutinizing those ends. :flower:

[pixietail]

MaryMarx, I know how you feel. I really hate my hair right now - the split ends, the ragged hemlines, the fact that it just doesn't seem to want to go past waist. Some days I just want to chop it off!

If you really hate your hair right now, and if it brings your more unhappiness than joy, then by all means cut it off. You need to do what makes you happy, not anyone else. But if words from an internet stranger can help, I'd like to say that I really do see great changes for the better in your hair pictures. I don't really have any advice really, just sympathy and imaginary internet cookies if you want them :)

[pixietail]

Double post.. sorry!

[Silverbrumby]

This is how my hair grows. I think I mentioned before but I did try everything to get a thick hemline and nothing worked. This is my hair at this length.https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/44/b3/4a/44b34aa452f6130a82cae5680095106d.jpg

[Silverbrumby]

Yes, quite often. I really try not to but those ends always drive me mad and I keep thinking "just another trim, then the thin ends will be gone forever" which I know is not working.

I've been doing that for years as well and mine never get thicker. Lots of support here and great advice.

[OleanderTime]

trailers

omg so offensive. find a better way to talk about your "ideas."

ANYWAY.

OP, your hair texture is really lovely. You have light, airy, wavy, soft hair. It's very pretty and has definitely gotten prettier over time. As for lack of growth, I would rule out medical reasons just to be sure (and "medical" also includes mental/emotional health). but as for being embarrassed about your hair - don't be! I hope you can reach your length goals in time. :blossom:

[MaryMarx]

Wow, MaryMarx, you have been busy!! :) You mentioned your daily "ponytail bun". Do you put your hair in a ponytail first, with an elastic, before bunning it? That could cause quite a lot of breakage, if that is the case....
Haha I have! :D
Yes, I do. First a ponytail and then I wrap the ends around and finish with the last bit of the ponytail holder, I hope you understand how I mean! I know in the back of my head it's not good... atleast I use a soft one, no metal piece. But I should stop doing this... someone mentioned the Gibson tuck and I will rediscover that one because it's really pretty. Although it requires a LOT of hair pins in my hair, but I'm very careful with them. Could this be damaging my hair anyway?

[Wusel]

Haha I have! :D
Yes, I do. First a ponytail and then I wrap the ends around and finish with the last bit of the ponytail holder, I hope you understand how I mean! I know in the back of my head it's not good... atleast I use a soft one, no metal piece. But I should stop doing this... someone mentioned the Gibson tuck and I will rediscover that one because it's really pretty. Although it requires a LOT of hair pins in my hair, but I'm very careful with them. Could this be damaging my hair anyway?

Yes... bobbypins are very damaging... Even for my strong hair... I've stopped using them because I've noticed a bit damage in my bangs from using them for putting my bangs back to wash and cream my face.

Ficcares are damaging for my hair too. I used to wear one regularly and my hair broke from it. Everything metal is damaging from my experience.

[two_wheels]

Haha I have! :D
Yes, I do. First a ponytail and then I wrap the ends around and finish with the last bit of the ponytail holder, I hope you understand how I mean! I know in the back of my head it's not good... atleast I use a soft one, no metal piece. But I should stop doing this... someone mentioned the Gibson tuck and I will rediscover that one because it's really pretty. Although it requires a LOT of hair pins in my hair, but I'm very careful with them. Could this be damaging my hair anyway?

I did this last time I had longer hair and I got a ton of damage from it. And I have medium texture with maybe 20-30% coarse. I used soft ponytail bands too.

It made a huge difference not doing that this time around, really! What about a peacock twist with a decent-quality (i.e. smooth) claw clip or beak clip? Eta I used something like this (http://www.cultmate.de/haarspangen/schnabelspangen/madison-schnabelspangen/schnabelspange-madison-orchid.html) but ones from normal shops are fine too if you're not clumsy-breaky like me. This style would show off your pretty curls at the ends :) That's what I did this time round at shoulder and I had no splits until BSL this time.

[Wusel]

I did this last time I had longer hair and I got a ton of damage from it. And I have medium texture with maybe 20-30% coarse. I used soft ponytail bands too.

It made a huge difference not doing that this time around, really! What about a peacock twist with a decent-quality (i.e. smooth) claw clip or beak clip? Eta I used something like this (http://www.cultmate.de/haarspangen/schnabelspangen/madison-schnabelspangen/schnabelspange-madison-orchid.html) but ones from normal shops are fine too if you're not clumsy-breaky like me. This style would show off your pretty curls at the ends :) That's what I did this time round at shoulder and I had no splits until BSL this time.

This is a great idea! I second that! I wear a peacock twist with two one inch light plastic claw clips most of the time. It's a great hairstyle! And good for your hair! And when I want it to look a bit more classy I tuck the ends of my hair under the twist and have something like a french twist. DO THIS! You'll love it! :) I have it on my head now btw. :)

[ravenheather]

If you don't like claw clips, try a flexi8. That was my go-to at your length.

[Wildcat Diva]

Well, there was a hairstyle tutorial I was gonna suggest at flexi 8 website but they are closed. Dang. After I charge up my tablet , I will describe it here. Your pictures show what I see as pretty hair, please do not be SO sad. From your description, I was expecting something horrible when I peeked, but I saw your pretty hair instead. :)

[roseomalley]

MaryMarx, You really do have pretty, cherub curls! I remember seeing an actress having hair like your's, so soft and feminine. (Meg Ryan?) I understand your frustration when you look at photos here of long, thick hair. My hair is straight, very fine and extra , extra thin at the front. I wear it up daily in a bun (no elastics), French twist or something similar. We have to do the best we can for our hair and think of the positive points (which are soft curls, feminine-angel hair for you).

[Arctic]

I love this thread :) So much positivity!

On my hair bobby pins don't seem to be damaging, but my hair is not very long. The one thing that I have identified a possibly damaging is the removal of bobby pin. That's where it seems to snag easily. I have developed a method of removing them, and it has eliminated any problems.

I find both ends of the bobby pin, and push it a little bit out of my hair so it starts to stick out (from a bun for example). I take a hold of that sticking out pin with the fingers of my other hand and push/pull the pin out of my hair with the other - slowly. The first hand holds the pin so, that while the pin is being pushed/pulled out, it glides through the fingers of the first hand. The same time this grip will guide the hair, that has been inside the pin, out from there gently.

When I remove my pins this way, they just glide out without snagging.

I have a bit different hair type than you Mary, but have a look in my blog, I tried to make and photograph as many hair styles for shoulder length hair as possible earlier this year. I didn't have time to finish that project unfortunately, but there are tens of photos/ideas there. Most of them are hair friendly styles. Maybe some of them would work for you, too? You can find links to those particular posts under my blog's header.

[mssummerrose]

I wonder if the ponytail holder might be breaking your hair, making it look like it is fairytaleing. (I don't know how to spell that. Whatever!!). The thing with ponytail breakage, is it is grueling to grow it out: it sticks out all over, and you gotta find other alternate ways to keep it contained while it grows. So maybe using a cute scarf or non-damaging headband, with a Gibson tuck (with a scrunchie or some other non-damaging tie!!), or two Micky Mouse buns. Also, varying the placement of your bun would keep the damage... moving, at least. I love spin pins for buns. I don't need a hair band, just twist it up, and use two spin pins, put in like an X, keeps it super secure and comfortable.

[kaydana]

Haha I have! :D
Yes, I do. First a ponytail and then I wrap the ends around and finish with the last bit of the ponytail holder, I hope you understand how I mean! I know in the back of my head it's not good... atleast I use a soft one, no metal piece. But I should stop doing this... someone mentioned the Gibson tuck and I will rediscover that one because it's really pretty. Although it requires a LOT of hair pins in my hair, but I'm very careful with them. Could this be damaging my hair anyway?

Looking at your pictures, I'd say this is the most likely reason for your hair looking the way it does. Wearing your hair in the same style every day can be damaging even when you are using hair friendly accessories (which ponytail holders are not, even the metal free ones). I think you'd probably see a big difference in your hair if you stopped doing your ponytail bun and developed a repertoire of different styles that you can rotate to avoid putting stress on the same hairs every day. Get yourself some hair friendly accessories if you can, even if it's just a set of Amish pins.

[Alex Lou]

I have a friend who also has long hair, but she wears it up in a bun every day and night, secured with a standard elastic without the metal bit. I asked her how long her hair is and she let it down to show me. It's between waist and hip. She started complaining about how frizzy it is and said that the frizziness started around the level of her ears. I started looking at her hair and noticed that she has a chunk of short pieces in the back right where she buns her hair where it has obviously broken off. I pointed it out to her. She didn't even know because she has very thick hair, but this would be a very significant loss on less thick hair. She also has coarse hair, so its surprising to me that there's that much damage from an elastic. Her hair isn't otherwise abused. She washes, air dries, uses heat on special occasions (once or twice a year), doesn't use any products on it, and dyes it a very dark color every 6 months.

I suggested a spin pin instead of the elastic, which I'd also suggest to OP if her hair is long enough for that to work. Any evidence that spin pins are damaging in any way? I wear mine most days and haven't noticed anything yet.

[Silver Strands]

("I have been thinking about my pills... but my hair was weird before I started with them, or atleast I think so..." )



Quite a few medications cause hair loss/thinning. You may want to look into the medication
you're on and see if that is a side effect. If it is, you and your Dr. may be able to change it.

[flickm]

MaryMarx, I'm probably going to frustrate you because if you hate your hair, you may be seeing something I can't - but i think your hair is really pretty. It's wavy and doesn't look thin, except the ends, which have a lovely lacy look to them. In fact I'm struggling to see what you're seeing. i love your waves, your hair is shiny and, from what i can see of your face, you are extremely pretty.

[flickm]

My words are not offensive. They are valid observations. If malnourished people who live in trailers tend to have weak, damaged hair, there is a correlation. That is why I second the nutrition theory. I am reading my statement again and again, and there is nothing offensive. I'm actually impressed that some of you managed to be offended by it. Well done! But please don't clutter up the thread with this emotionally fragile nonsense. She is asking for help, not whining. If you don't have a solution or an idea to help her, that's fine. I actually have a positive, constructive idea here. Based on real life. I'm sorry if you grew up wealthy or sheltered and never knew malnourished people, but this is a real thing.

The advice about nutrition may have been helpful, but alluding to trailer dwellers in the context of malnutrition and drug use is unnecessary and offensive - apart from which that kind of sweeping generalisation about a social group is extremely prejudiced.

[MissAlida]

Hey there hair twin! :D Let me start by saying, that I was very sad about my hair for a long time. Slowly I realized, that I can't wear a ponytail, since it's too thin to look good. I can't wear a braid, since it makes for a very thin and flat braid. I can't even wear buns, because they are tiny. My hair was BSL when curly at that time. So I went to the hairdresser, and got a collarbone legth bob. And immediately I realized, that I needed the long hair. Even if it's thin. Even if it sheds too much. I need it, because it makes me feel more like myself.
My point is, the hair on your head, is YOUR hair! It's no one else's business. It should make YOU happy. We all come to LHC, and see all these beautiful iii braids, that are as thick as my arm...and we feel envious. But we won't have that, not ever. And that is the truth. We can blame genetics, or anything else, but it's not going to make our hair thicker. But trust me, that you have beautiful hair. :) And you must find a way to embrace it, even if it's thin. We are usually our own worse critics. You need to make peace with yourself, because it's not worth it to feel this sad about hair. I'm telling you, I used to be so angry with it, that I developed trichotillomania, and plucked a whole bunch of hair from my scalp. It's not worth it.
I encourage you to wear it down. Start slowly, just a day a week. Try half updos, maybe curling the hanging part into a ringlet or two. Another thing is the inversion method.I just tried it out for the first time, and I see so much new growth at the roots, that I am amazed. Good luck :flowers:

[Federica]

Illryeth has done a wonderful job with her post! Very useful tips for thin hair I think.


Knifegill, your sentence about trailers and junkies was just rude and offensive. I can buy you didn't mean to, but hey! It was.
And plenty of people here have suggested you to just apologise about it because, ya know, the long hair community is a polite place and we like to keep it like this, and it's just childish to point out that we're making an "emotionally fragile nonsense", and offensive too.
Plus, I don't know if your theory about eating eight eggs a day is awesome can be good for nutrition, it seems a bit of protein ad fat overload to me, but keep do what you're doing if it works for you, and try to be polite on this boards.

[Knifegill]

You must have skipped my apology. No need to bring up old news.

[Babyfine]

Just want to say your hair is very pretty and doesn't look too thin, but I can really relate to your original post. My hair is very similar to yours as well. I am Scandinavian on my mothers side although ironically her hair was much more abundant than mine at my age (albeit fine). I am a fine, thin 2a/2b which has thinned somewhat with my age(late 50's). I have no medical issues and eat a healthy diet, exercise, ect I'm just genetically fine and thin. My hair starts to fairy tail at BSL, so the last few years I've been keeping at APL which I will probably continue to do. I probably could grow it longer but in my own case the ends start looking so thin when it's long I have to keep it in updo's constantly or wear dark shirts when I keep it down. I like wearing my hair down at least 50% of the time so hence the shorter length. I don't wear braids, (too thin looking in my opinion) although I do wear braided buns and half ups, and cinnabuns. I also take a GNC hair skin and nails vitamin and I do believe it has made difference in my hairs strength and shine- albeit not thickness. It probably took about 6 months to notice the difference. I've been eyeing Viviscal- but so expensive. Other than that no heat styling, ect. It took me a year to recover from heat styling and other abuse as the stronger hair has to grow out long enough to be noticeable so it's a patience game.
I think, however your hair is very pretty and you are being too hard on yourself.

[vpatt]

I like your hair.....please don't be so hard on yourself.

[BerryFlap]

I think your hair is beautiful! I think it'd look lovely and fairytale-ish with a sort of V-shaped hemline too. Don't be so down about it! Your hair texture is gorgeous too, exactly the kind of hair I'd love to have!

[MaryMarx]

Hello everyone! Reviving this old goodie. So sorry about just disappearing but university nearly killed me, after that, the biggest heartbreak I think I will ever experience. Well I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who answered.

Sadly, my hair is worse than ever. Something has to be wrong. I will take some photos to consult you later when I have time.

[mizukitty]

I think your hair looks very pretty - it's incredibly shiny so you're obviously doing something right. But you noted your hairtype as 2c/3a, have you tried the curly girl method? In some of your hair pics it looks brushed out - could that be why the ends are looking different from the root area? My 1c-ish hair looked like crap for a long time because I didn't know how to style it and what products to use. Now that I use a "wavy" hair routine, it looks MUCH happier and better. Don't give up, you will find your way!

[MaryMarx]

I think your hair looks very pretty - it's incredibly shiny so you're obviously doing something right. But you noted your hairtype as 2c/3a, have you tried the curly girl method? In some of your hair pics it looks brushed out - could that be why the ends are looking different from the root area? My 1c-ish hair looked like crap for a long time because I didn't know how to style it and what products to use. Now that I use a "wavy" hair routine, it looks MUCH happier and better. Don't give up, you will find your way!

Hello, and thank you! Those pictures are quite old unfortunately, I will take some new ones and update. I can't remember if it was brushed, but that's how my curls end up by themselves after a day. :( I have used CO for a couple of months now and it doesn't help, might even make it worse (I don't think there's any build up but I will clarify soon anyway). Soooooooooo frustrated...

Pics are on their way!

[Mrstran]

This is crazy but if I'm reading this post right, ( I have reading comprehension issues as of late) I grew up with a girl that no matter what, her hair always swayed to the right. It wouldn't stay down and her mom always kept it braided until it grew out. As she became older and her hair grew, it eventually straightened out. Maybe it was trained by braiding everyday, or maybe it was the weight over time, I'm not sure.

[Coral Grimes]

Hello! Just wanted to say that although I think your hair is very pretty (lovely curls, lovely colour, lovely shine...just all round lovely!) I can really relate to how you feel. I have the finest and thinnest hair of anyone I know and I have always felt rubbish about it when everyone else has such nice thick hair. I've also had/still have periods of major shedding due to stress and medication, so it can be really frustrating at times. The main reason I started dying my hair crazy colours was so I could feel good about it for once. I always believed (and was told so many times) that I could not and should not grow my hair long due it being so thin. But then I thought what the hell, it's my hair. If I want to grow it, I will. It may not be pretty or look good to anyone else but it's my hair and I like it (or at least I'm starting to)!

I may start a new hashtag - #effyourhairstandards ;)

[ReadingRenee]

I thought the pictures of your hair were really pretty. I can relate to having fine hair. My hair is actually very fine and thin but I bring out the waves to make it look much fuller. It floats around my head though and when its shorter it floats around my neck as well. When I was younger and had short hair I used to dye it to "make it more manageable" Now I realize I was dying it to straighten it and give it more weight. The wavy fine floaty hair type is a challenge!

My ends always get wispy and thin right before BSL. I have trimmed them many times and haven't grown past BSL since 2009. ( In 2009 I was pregnant and didn't care what my hair looked like)

I have accepted that for me I must stop trimming if I want the growth and deal with the thin ends. I have trimmed so many times to thicken up my hemline, only to reach the same spot a 7 or 9 months or so later and have the ends look exactly the same!

One thing that really helped me was to stop using silicones, they make my hair straight which shows the thinness and the thin ends much more. I tried CO for a while but I think it actually made me shed more hair. I only do it every once in a while when my ends feel dry. I stopped combing my hair also, and just fingercomb it most of the time and I try really hard not to obsess over the ends. Anyway, Im sorry you are sad about your hair. I have noticed for people who seem to be ok with their thin ends and don't constantly trim that the thickness does seem to gradually move down. That is what Im going to try this time around. Good luck! :)

[MaryMarx]

Hello everyone. This thread is quite old but I have started to re-read the posts and am amazed by how supportive you all are/were. I'm still struggling, mostly because I always gave in and cut it to above shoulders, but since finding out that doesn't look good either, I'm trying to grow it out AGAIN. :p I think a lot of my problems are mechanical damage, from always, always, always wearing my hair up. It DOES NOT HELP that I met the most wonderful man ever who has the thickest mid back long hair ever, even though 2/3 of it is shaved off, lol! Anyways, I've started to wear it out when I'm at home. I know this is not recommended but since my hair does everything backwards... why not try! Also, since I love experimenting, I am trying rhassoul clay. Thinking maybe shampoo (even though I tried the good ones) dries it out too much. It has nice weight now. I'm only at clay wash no. 2 so I hope I can continue this. Thank you again, to everyone. :)

[Jo Ann]

Welcome back, Mary!

I hope you're finding peace with your hair. You'll find something that works for you!

[Beeboo123]

Hello! I just looked through your album. Our hair actually grows in a very similar way. (I’ll dig up some old pictures, I just need to find them) I found that my problem was breakage from constantly putting my hair up, and from my neck rubbing against my pillow when I slept. Leaving my hair down helped immensely. I don’t spend very much time in the sun, so it isn’t necessary for me to put it up in a protective style to avoid UV-damage. At shoulder length, I did not get tangles, so there really was no point in subjecting my hair to mechanical damage by always putting it up. I also switched to sleeping on my side. I managed to grow my hair out to TBL, and I’m sure you’ll be able to, too. Don’t lose hope!

[Andthetalltrees]

My hair really hates being up too, When I tried for a regular amount of time I got more damage than it being down most of the time. It might be good advice for some people, but it's not for everyone!

[MaryMarx]

Beeboo123, that is really encouraging to hear. I'd love to see photos. :) I'm gonna give it a real try this time.

[diddiedaisy]

My hair is also similar, baby fine Scandinavian weightless soft and slippy. It also grows at different rates, the back middle grows grows really slow. Mine starts fairytailing before bsl and I’ve been stuck in grow cut mode for four years. I need to recognise that my hair is always going to fairy quite short and learn to live with it.

I’ve just cut back from waist to bsl/mbl, but I wish I’d read this thread first as I wouldn’t have cut. When it was your length it looked nearly the same as yours. You just need extreme patience with this type of hair, it does improve but it takes a long time.

I will add that I have had hair loss issues as well, but that doesn’t change any weird growth patterns. Hair loss or not that back middle is always gonna grow that way.

I also think your hair is very pretty. Stick with it, it will extremely pretty when it’s longer :)

[Beeboo123]

Beeboo123, that is really encouraging to hear. I'd love to see photos. :) I'm gonna give it a real try this time.

*gulps* I’m a little embarrassed to post these, but here goes...

http://i.imgur.com/ZzclPvf.jpg
Oct 2015. Not the best quality photo, but you can see how much breakage I had around my nape... It was frightful! I had a 6 inch chop in December from BSL to SL that year to get rid of the taper.

http://i.imgur.com/wClv1ea.jpg
May 2016. Just before I got another 6 inch chop from MBL to APL. Got another chop from WL to BSL at the end of 2016, then left my hair alone until the next photo was taken.

http://i.imgur.com/VeBsqMw.jpg
Sep 2017. Couple of weeks before the “trim” I just got which I have been complaining about, haha.

My hair just grows funny at uneven rates, so I need cuts to keep it in check, and I can’t put it up because my hair just disagrees with it. This is something I learned after my chop in 2016, and my hair definitely looked better after I stopped braiding and bunning.

My hair does grow really, really fast. You might not see results as quickly, but there is hope! You can definitely grow your hair out.

[checkuponit]

Beeboo, you have beautiful hair!

[spidermom]

You might feel more satisfied with your ends if you make a plan of trimming and stick to the plan. Here is an example - every 3 months, you will trim off 1/2 inch and 1/2 inch ONLY. You will never be able to cut off the thin ends and have them grow in thick from that day forward. To keep ends on the thicker side, it's more of a maintenance thing.

And of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to stick with a shorter, easier style. I was unhappy with my long hair for a long time. I kept trying to solve the problems of long hair while keeping it long, and nothing satisfied for very long. I'm much happier with my current length (signature picture). It isn't too heavy. I can blow-dry it, straighten it, and curl it as well as do various braided styles and even a sort of hybrid bun/french twist kind of a thing that keeps it up and back out of my way. Long is not the be-all and end-all of beautiful hair.

[Rebeccalaurenxx]

My hair sounds similar.
It wasn’t until I came to terms with having fine fragile hair and getting a proper trim schedule and STICKING to it aka not trimming until the scheduled day.. it made sure I wasn’t trimming more than I should. I do trims every month, about 1/4”-1/2” every single month. I’ve been here since 2011, and I’m just barley touching waist stretched. Do you know how many times I’ve chopped, gotten frustrated, or been upset about the state of my hair? SO MUCH. Because I was constantly focused on others hair. Comparing myself. When I started focusing on building a REAL routine, and less about everything else I started to see growth. And now my hair is the longest it’s ever been in my whole life!!!

It takes time. I know a girl that grew for 10 years and she’s just touching classic/knee. Some girls here got that in half that time. Just don’t give up. Keep trying new things, taking out different things from your routine. Don’t give up.

[MaryMarx]

Hey there hair twin! :D Let me start by saying, that I was very sad about my hair for a long time. Slowly I realized, that I can't wear a ponytail, since it's too thin to look good. I can't wear a braid, since it makes for a very thin and flat braid. I can't even wear buns, because they are tiny. My hair was BSL when curly at that time. So I went to the hairdresser, and got a collarbone legth bob. And immediately I realized, that I needed the long hair. Even if it's thin. Even if it sheds too much. I need it, because it makes me feel more like myself.
My point is, the hair on your head, is YOUR hair! It's no one else's business. It should make YOU happy. We all come to LHC, and see all these beautiful iii braids, that are as thick as my arm...and we feel envious. But we won't have that, not ever. And that is the truth. We can blame genetics, or anything else, but it's not going to make our hair thicker. But trust me, that you have beautiful hair. :) And you must find a way to embrace it, even if it's thin. We are usually our own worse critics. You need to make peace with yourself, because it's not worth it to feel this sad about hair. I'm telling you, I used to be so angry with it, that I developed trichotillomania, and plucked a whole bunch of hair from my scalp. It's not worth it.
I encourage you to wear it down. Start slowly, just a day a week. Try half updos, maybe curling the hanging part into a ringlet or two. Another thing is the inversion method.I just tried it out for the first time, and I see so much new growth at the roots, that I am amazed. Good luck :flowers:

Miss Alida, this reply is so late, but thank you so much for those encouraging words. Means a lot!

[MaryMarx]

Update! Sorry for not answering every one, I do read it all and appreciate all your concern SO MUCH!

My hair feels much better. I don't know if the Rhassoul clay has something to do with it or if it's just psychological. I've been sticking to having it down for most of the time. I may have a chance for a full time job soon so I'm a bit nervous about having it down in front of people all day, but we'll see. Also, when I pull one of the curls they are longer than APL. I'm just gonna keep going. Thank you for the support. :crush:

[Mega Moose]

I think your hair is pretty, and the updos you had photos of with the twisted bangs were great. :) Whether it grows longer or not, I hope you can come to be comfortable with it. It is unique, and if you play with it some you may find that it does some particular things way better than other hair types would.

[cathair]

Update! Sorry for not answering every one, I do read it all and appreciate all your concern SO MUCH!

My hair feels much better. I don't know if the Rhassoul clay has something to do with it or if it's just psychological. I've been sticking to having it down for most of the time. I may have a chance for a full time job soon so I'm a bit nervous about having it down in front of people all day, but we'll see. Also, when I pull one of the curls they are longer than APL. I'm just gonna keep going. Thank you for the support. :crush:

Sounds really promising, nice to hear you sounding happier :) Good luck with the job, I hope it works out for you :)

[Flowerness]

You have really lovely hair, and your curls are gorgeous! I also noticed how it looks like it is getting thicker, and healthier further and further down the length as your hair grows. Great job, and enjoy your beautiful hair!

[MaryMarx]

You have really lovely hair, and your curls are gorgeous! I also noticed how it looks like it is getting thicker, and healthier further and further down the length as your hair grows. Great job, and enjoy your beautiful hair!

Thank you! Those pics are very old though, I will upload new ones as soon as I have time. :)

[Astia]

I can't see your pictures yet, but I'm sure they're very nice, since your profile picture is gorgeous, love the colour and hairtoy compliments it well. When my hair was at its worst after 1-2 years of straightening almost every day, it too was floaty and weird, but after cutting off the damage&pampering it it came back as good as ever. I'm talking about using a mask instead of conditioner every wash, using detangler and protecting it from every possible damage. The cause for floating is usually pretty simple - too dry hair, dry air, too light conditioner or simply combing out waves/curls that hold together, a drop of oil and nourishing masks help a lot, but look out for build up if you're using only clay to wash. If you haven't done so already try ditching hairties and bobby pins and try claw clips , more smaller ones work great fo almost every style.

It may be irrelevant now, but from the post in dec '16 you mentioned it was looking worse - the cause may as well been the university and break up, stress has a way of showing on our body either on skin or hair and feeling sad contributes to feeling bad about yourself, thus no helping.

Wish you a great year with progress in your hair goals and in life, to find what works for you.

[MaryMarx]

I can't see your pictures yet, but I'm sure they're very nice, since your profile picture is gorgeous, love the colour and hairtoy compliments it well. When my hair was at its worst after 1-2 years of straightening almost every day, it too was floaty and weird, but after cutting off the damage&pampering it it came back as good as ever. I'm talking about using a mask instead of conditioner every wash, using detangler and protecting it from every possible damage. The cause for floating is usually pretty simple - too dry hair, dry air, too light conditioner or simply combing out waves/curls that hold together, a drop of oil and nourishing masks help a lot, but look out for build up if you're using only clay to wash. If you haven't done so already try ditching hairties and bobby pins and try claw clips , more smaller ones work great fo almost every style.

It may be irrelevant now, but from the post in dec '16 you mentioned it was looking worse - the cause may as well been the university and break up, stress has a way of showing on our body either on skin or hair and feeling sad contributes to feeling bad about yourself, thus no helping.

Wish you a great year with progress in your hair goals and in life, to find what works for you.

Thank you so much! It's staring to look better, I have a new picture in my album (the last before that was from 2014). It hasn't grown much since I was always cutting. Have a look when you can see albums if you want. :) Thank you so much for the encouragement!

[MaryMarx]

I have added a picture from yesterday to my album. Don't remember how to attach it here, sorry! The last pic was from 2014, it's not very much longer but hopefully a little bit healthier. And even if it's not, I like it more now. Letting it grow and see what happens.

[Beeboo123]

I have added a picture from yesterday to my album. Don't remember how to attach it here, sorry! The last pic was from 2014, it's not very much longer but hopefully a little bit healthier. And even if it's not, I like it more now. Letting it grow and see what happens.

Your hair is really pretty! Love the curls, and the shine!

[MaryMarx]

Thank you so much, Beeboo123. I have stopped using hairties, clips, pins and started to wear it out even though I'm not comfortable with it, lol. Most days it does NOT look like that last pic though. :whistle: