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Soulina
May 20th, 2015, 12:47 AM
I am recovering from bad patch in my life that happened nearly 2 years ago. I lost allot of my length and my hair was everything but healthy. My hair recovery has been better and faster than I expected :) I no longer use hair dye and wash maybe 1-2 times a week. Coconut oil it daily, only time I have my hair open is when I come from shower, rest of the time it is in braid or a bun.

Problem is that my boyfriend loves my hair when its open and so do I. I just wonder how much it will damage it to keep it that way more often like when I am at home. My hair is now inch or two from waist length. Not using hair dyes has made huge impact, I shed very little, less than half what I used to, I have tons of baby hairs and my hair feels thicker and after few trims my split ends are disappearing, I used to have very bad ends even after trims when I used to dye my hair and after every dye I had heavy shedding.

My goal is to be able to sit on my hair, and I have a long way to get there, but I am young so I have time. I hope that once I get married (boyfriend has not even proposed yet :D thou we live together, so maybe 3-4 in years?) my hair would be around hip. I am really short (158cm) so from waist to hip is not that long way.

Doreen
May 20th, 2015, 02:09 AM
I kept my hair open/loose basically every single day until it reached TBL, and it didn't significantly damage my hair. As long as you are being careful to not let it get caught on things and brushing it a couple times throughout the day, I don't think it should be a big problem. Your other habits are good, and of all the "evils" of hair, I think having it loose is the least of them as long as you know how to take care of it the rest of the time. You should be able to enjoy your hair and if that's what makes you happy I say go for it!

DeadlyUnicorn
May 20th, 2015, 02:45 AM
I started at shoulder length.. I left my hair down the entire time(only recently started putting it up or braiding it), even dyed the tips red. I've been growing it for 4 years and I've only had 2 trims. My damage is not catastrophic, considering all of that.. I believe most of the damage is from dying it and not getting trims. Everyone's hair is different of course, but if you enjoy it being down.. And you put it up all the time.. Are you really enjoying having your long hair? I love my hair down and I wear it that way often because it makes me happy. I didn't start growing my hair out just to braid/bun it everyday :)

Though do be mindful of your clothing choices. I've noticed certain spaghetti strap tops have the adjuster things in the back, and my hair catches on them :( And any silk/satin type material (or just anything your hair glides over instead of sticking to a lot) would be best I think if you want to minimize the damage. Personally I just wear my normal clothes but if I notice my hair getting snagged or clinging/sticking like a LOT to a certain shirt I'll just try not to wear it while my hair loose.

missblueeyes
May 20th, 2015, 02:45 AM
I second what Doreen said! What you do have to keep in mind, though, is that loose hair loses moisture faster than bunned or braided hair so you might want to do DT's more often. :)

Edit: I started a similar thread earlier this year so you might want to have a look at that for more replies. :)
http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=130541

merekivi
May 20th, 2015, 04:31 AM
Moi Soulina! :)

I had the same situation just a while ago and sort of still have. My boyfriend prefers it when I wear my hair loose and I also think it suits me better.

This might sound a little hilarious, but what "improved" the situation in my case was when I started asking his opinion on hair styles and hair accessories. He is also growing his hair long, so he was interested in hair care from the beginning on.

I actually thought that he would be annoyed if I ask him on his opinion about hair sticks or forks, as he even told me several times that he hates buns as a hair style. But somehow I caught his interest when showing him stuff I found on etsy. It had to be something "special", though. For example the antler hair stick I got which really looks like an antler - he was so amazed by that, saying that I sort of look like a reindeer with that in my bun. :lol: Or a fork which had a topper looking like an owl's head - my boyfriend ended up being the one telling me that I definitely have to get one like that.
So, just a random, "boring" hair stick doesn't justify wearing a bun, but if there's more to it, he's okay with that. He even likes it. :) And I also feel that nice hair accessories give me myself more motivation to wear buns, so it's sort of a win-win thing. :D But I guess that's also a matter of taste.

It's the same with hair styles. I used to wear my hair loose all the time, but once I tried out a half-up, my boyfriend actually told me that he thinks this looks even better on me. Now a half-up is not that hair-friendly either, but it turned out he also likes braids as they show length and at the same time look really nice. He for example loves the Rapunzel and the Fishtail braid.

In the end, there's nothing wrong with wearing your hair loose. To grow it long doesn't mean that you have to wear it up all the time. Just try to take care of it so that it doesn't get damaged from that. I personally wear it down about 50% of the time and always use jojoba oil and some cream on my hair. :)

Soulina
May 20th, 2015, 05:09 AM
Perhaps I could ease up a little bit. Perhaps the loss of my once healthy hip length hair has made me paranoid. That even if I time to time kept my hair loose it would not go back the way it was in my bad times. I know it is silly to have long hair if you cant wear it down. I really do enjoy the way my hair feels on my body and how it moves, I feel really pretty also. Now I will keep it down more, if I see some dramatic damage, I can always start wearing it up again (even tho I do not think that will happen) :grin:

spidermom
May 20th, 2015, 08:25 AM
When you have the time to pay attention to it so that you don't get it caught on things, I don't see the harm in wearing hair down.

Linguaphilia
May 20th, 2015, 09:42 AM
My boyfriend prefers my hair loose, too. And voluminous. It is neither of those: it's slicked back into a bun most of the time. I just can't unite my aspirations for knee-length hair with his personal preferences without chopping it shorter and using loads of products. Obviously I choose for me :o

Panth
May 20th, 2015, 09:53 AM
If you want classic-length hair, then as a 1a/F/i/ii I suspect you are going to have to wear protective updos and/or train yourself to be very careful about where your hair is when you sit (much of the damage from BSL on comes from hair rubbing between your back and your chair, from TBL on from rubbing between your bottom and your chair). Personally, I (as a 1b/F/ii/iii then) could not grow past TBL without daily protective updos due to mechanical damage.

Some things you could do are:
- alter your goal to TBL or hip - these are likely to be much more achievable without updos, especially for thin and fine (and therefore delicate) hair
- learn to be very, very fussy about where your hair is when you sit (set it to your side or in your lap, not behind you against the chair back, etc.)
- do protective updos regularly or (better) most/all of the time (merekivi's suggestion about cool hairtoys is a nice one)
- perhaps wear updos in the day but let your hair loose when at home with your BF as a compromise? make the "wearing it loose" times special

Anje
May 20th, 2015, 02:25 PM
My husband prefers my hair loose.

I've explained to him that if he likes how nice my hair looks, part of keeping it nice is to keep it contained much of the time. It tangles when I wear it loose, and the tangles become knots become damage. So there's naturally a compromise there, but at this point he's aware that one major reason I wear it up is so that when I do wear it loose, it's healthy and shiny and admirable. I'll let it down in the evenings when we're together (though for me, this is partially an "I'm at home and now I can relax" thing) and sometimes when we're out together. He can appreciate it then. When we're doing more active stuff and during the day, I'm wearing my hair contained. I can blame OSHA, but I would do it anyway. He's OK with that -- he wants me to be happy too and is pleased that I enjoy my hair.

gwenalyn
May 20th, 2015, 03:32 PM
If you prefer your hair down, I say do it. Just keep paying attention, so if your hair does start to feel more tangly or damaged faster than you want it to, you can dial things back. It's all about finding a balance for you, your preferences, and your hair.

Some people attribute their long hair primarily to it being always protected. Fine hair has a tendency to be more fragile, or so I've read. But if it's any comfort, I have the same hair type as you (1a/F) and I wear my hair down 50% of the time, in addition to other damaging practices, and I've had no problem reaching MBL. I've never had longer hair, but I believe that I would have reached waist by now if I wasn't aggressively trimming to get rid of my layers.

cat11
May 20th, 2015, 03:47 PM
If like the others said you take caution not to get it caught and have it rub on stuff and you're just wearing it like this at home like you said- then I dont see a problem with it.

The scalp likes vartiation anyway so the way I see it letting it down sometimes when youre relaxing at home is healthy moderation!!

trolleypup
May 20th, 2015, 07:54 PM
Good suggestions all around. One thing you can do for yourself and your bf is find protective styles that are quick and easy to put up...and take down! So it doesn't have to be Up OR Down/Open...you can go back and forth. One thing I really like about the single stick bun I use is the ability to pull the stick and have it cascade down...and then, when conditions say it is time for it to be out of the way, 15 seconds and it is up!

Soulina
May 21st, 2015, 11:59 AM
If you want classic-length hair, then as a 1a/F/i/ii I suspect you are going to have to wear protective updos and/or train yourself to be very careful about where your hair is when you sit (much of the damage from BSL on comes from hair rubbing between your back and your chair, from TBL on from rubbing between your bottom and your chair). Personally, I (as a 1b/F/ii/iii then) could not grow past TBL without daily protective updos due to mechanical damage.

Some things you could do are:
- alter your goal to TBL or hip - these are likely to be much more achievable without updos, especially for thin and fine (and therefore delicate) hair
- learn to be very, very fussy about where your hair is when you sit (set it to your side or in your lap, not behind you against the chair back, etc.)
- do protective updos regularly or (better) most/all of the time (merekivi's suggestion about cool hairtoys is a nice one)
- perhaps wear updos in the day but let your hair loose when at home with your BF as a compromise? make the "wearing it loose" times special

Altering my goal to TBL or hip is not an option. It would be like giving up my on my dreams. I have over had hip, 2-3inches from TBL before my life was destroyed so I am really protective of my hair. My hair is always over my shoulder from my left side (even braided) when I sit to avoid damage from rubbing.

I do keep my hair up or braided 99% time, I would never keep my hair open at work, or sleep hair loose. I was thinking more like couple hours few times a week. ;)

LeMimi13
May 21st, 2015, 12:44 PM
Moi Soulina! :)

I had the same situation just a while ago and sort of still have. My boyfriend prefers it when I wear my hair loose and I also think it suits me better.

This might sound a little hilarious, but what "improved" the situation in my case was when I started asking his opinion on hair styles and hair accessories. He is also growing his hair long, so he was interested in hair care from the beginning on.

I actually thought that he would be annoyed if I ask him on his opinion about hair sticks or forks, as he even told me several times that he hates buns as a hair style. But somehow I caught his interest when showing him stuff I found on etsy. It had to be something "special", though. For example the antler hair stick I got which really looks like an antler - he was so amazed by that, saying that I sort of look like a reindeer with that in my bun. :lol: Or a fork which had a topper looking like an owl's head - my boyfriend ended up being the one telling me that I definitely have to get one like that.
So, just a random, "boring" hair stick doesn't justify wearing a bun, but if there's more to it, he's okay with that. He even likes it. :) And I also feel that nice hair accessories give me myself more motivation to wear buns, so it's sort of a win-win thing. :D But I guess that's also a matter of taste.

It's the same with hair styles. I used to wear my hair loose all the time, but once I tried out a half-up, my boyfriend actually told me that he thinks this looks even better on me. Now a half-up is not that hair-friendly either, but it turned out he also likes braids as they show length and at the same time look really nice. He for example loves the Rapunzel and the Fishtail braid.

In the end, there's nothing wrong with wearing your hair loose. To grow it long doesn't mean that you have to wear it up all the time. Just try to take care of it so that it doesn't get damaged from that. I personally wear it down about 50% of the time and always use jojoba oil and some cream on my hair. :)
what's the rapunzrl braid?

kidari
May 21st, 2015, 01:01 PM
I like to keep a "wet brush" with a scrunchie around the handle in my purse so when I'm out I can quickly detangle and put it up. You could carry around a small comb and/or a clip or stick with you so you can throw up in a quick updo when need be. There's a thread or two with advice on how to easily wear your hair down. I find that braidwaves or heat-free curls using coney oils help me; the regular wave pattern prevents tangling and the leave-in provides extra slip and protection. It can be a fun experiment to see how your hair does wearing it down a bit more. Please share any tips or tricks if you find any! I love wearing my hair down, which is why I personally cut back to MBL-BSL and don't have a problem maintaining there. I know some other people who have virgin hair with no layers with thicker, coarser hair who can wear it down more than half the time at hip length with no problem. But they also get it trimmed religiously to maintain at hip or waist and they are on top of deep conditioning treatments and never use heat or dyes.