How do I keep my hair-dresser from thinning out my hair?

[TheGoddess]

I'm seeing a new hair dresser on friday, because my last one would always thin out my hair, for so long and I don't want to tell her all the things I hate about how she does my hair years later...so I'm starting fresh. What can I say so my new hair dresser doesnt just end up thinning my hair? (because they seem to never give me a chance to say If i want it done, they just do it..)

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Just say before you sit down that you don't want your hair thinned in any shape or form and if it looks as if she might not listen to you say that if your hair is thinned you will walk out without paying.

[Nadine <3]

Just say before you sit down that you don't want your hair thinned in any shape or form and if it looks as if she might not listen to you say that if your hair is thinned you will walk out without paying.

Yes, this. Just tell her you do not want your hair thinned and if she doesn't listen, stop her and leave.

[Frankenstein]

Just say before you sit down that you don't want your hair thinned in any shape or form and if it looks as if she might not listen to you say that if your hair is thinned you will walk out without paying.

This. I was nervous going to a new stylist as well but I found that it does wonders to just be really assertive with what you want.

[Doreen]

Try to be as specific as possible about what you want. Point to where you want cut so the stylist clearly sees; don't throw out a number without showing them. By thinning, do you mean layering? Do you mean use of the thinning shears? Both? Tell them that. It wouldn't hurt to open up about how you have not been able to trust your stylist in the past, either, so that the new stylist may listen more carefully. Wishing you the best of luck!

[Nique1202]

If you know what you want done precisely, then before you sit in the chair, tell the stylist exactly that. If you want to leave them a little freedom with length but 100% no thinning and no layering, then tell them that. Make eye contact. You're paying them to do what you want and only what you want to your hair. If they do something you don't want them to do then you can say that you were specific up front and this is not what you asked for.

They're providing you a service you can't or don't want to do for yourself, they're NOT there to do whatever they please and ignore your directions. I mean, you don't want to be rude to them up front (being rude to service people is terrible) but you also don't have to walk in shyly and act like whatever they do is OK when it's not.

[kitcatsmeow]

Just say before you sit down that you don't want your hair thinned in any shape or form and if it looks as if she might not listen to you say that if your hair is thinned you will walk out without paying.


Do NOT say this, please. Threatening is not a way to start a great relationship with a new stylist and it's just rude.

All you have to do is clearly explain what you do and do NOT want. Pictures are a huge help if it's something specific. Just tell him/her that you do not want it thinned in anyway. If all you want is a trim then your stylist will not go thinning your hair and making more work for herself.

And really if you would just speak up and tell your old stylist that, he/she would change they way she cuts your hair to please you I'm sure. By not speaking up she assumed you like the way she was cutting your hair and so continued to do so.

Good luck and remember. WE DON'T READ MINDS. Speak up :)

[fairylover46]

Have you checked out the threads on trimming your own hair? That would be a good option (and free) if you are uncomfortable or apprehensive about a hairdresser. If you do want to go to a hairdresser I agree with the other members that have replied so far. Look them in the eye and politely yet firmly tell them what you do/do not want done and SHOW them how much to take off. Another thing! Make sure you are facing the mirror at all times! That way you can see what tools are being used on your hair and you can stop them in case they want to get sneaky and break out the thinning shears or take too much off. (Learned that one the hard way years ago). Also, if your hair is long enough to drape over the back of the chair, tell them you want to stand up with the plastic drape on backwards. That way your ends won't be different lengths if you are going for blunt ends. You would be surprised how many hairdressers cannot grasp that concept. If ends are blunt after cutting hair draped over a chair back, they will NOT be blunt when hanging down naturally! (Learned that the hard way, too. Wound up with a top layer very noticeably three inches shorter than a bottom layer. Went in the salon with a nice blunt hemline!)

[lapushka]

I'm seeing a new hair dresser on friday, because my last one would always thin out my hair, for so long and I don't want to tell her all the things I hate about how she does my hair years later...so I'm starting fresh. What can I say so my new hair dresser doesnt just end up thinning my hair? (because they seem to never give me a chance to say If i want it done, they just do it..)

So basically you always let them thin out your hair? Why? It's just a simple matter of you telling her that you don't want this done any longer. What's the problem here, really? I don't get it. :shrug:

[pixiepaws]

If I was worrying about having my hair cut at the hairdressers and anxious about the stylist not doing what I wanted I would not go and cancel the appointment. I have not gone to the hair dressers for three years and did when I stopped going I realized how much anxiety it caused me . I never got what I wanted and hated paying so much money for something I was unhappy with. Maybe get A trusted family member to trim your hair , this is what I do and I no layers or anyone worrying about thinning out my hair. I had a stylist take to thinning out my hair once so I understand your worries.

[elea]

It goes something like this: "Hello, I just changed hair dresser because the last one kept on thinning my hair, what I would like is *insert big smile and description*". *:OD

[swearnsue]

Cut it yourself or don't cut it at all. Save your money and buy a new hair toy.

[Katlette]

It goes something like this: "Hello, I just changed hair dresser because the last one kept on thinning my hair, what I would like is *insert big smile and description*". *:OD

This is an excellent suggestion. It's polite, it sounds natural, but it also highlights the fact that you left a stylist because they were thinning your hair. If your new stylist wants to keep you as a client, she will definitely take note of this.

Pictures of what you want are also a good idea.

[Unicorn]

So basically you always let them thin out your hair? Why? It's just a simple matter of you telling her that you don't want this done any longer. What's the problem here, really? I don't get it. :shrug:

Same here, people change what they do with their hair all the time. Just let the HD know. She can only assume you're happy to keep having it thinned if you don't tell her otherwise.

Unicorn

[lunalocks]

Being clear and direct - and pleasant - is the best route. It might also be wise to mention other things - please blow dry my hair on no heat, or not at all, products I want or do not want, no teasing, no spray etc. Show with your fingers exactly how much you want trimmed.

I watched one hairdresser cut in the hem, or snip little vertical notches into my daughter's hemline. I had no idea she did this and had probably done this for me as well. Since our hair was waist or longer, the ends were soft and thin enough. So I requested that she NOT do that to my hair when she cut it.

It is SO much better to be clear and upfront from the very beginning, but with an attitude of cooperation, than it is to be angry, upset, disappointed with the result. We need to respectfully ask for what we want.

[TheGoddess]

Have you checked out the threads on trimming your own hair? That would be a good option (and free) if you are uncomfortable or apprehensive about a hairdresser. If you do want to go to a hairdresser I agree with the other members that have replied so far. Look them in the eye and politely yet firmly tell them what you do/do not want done and SHOW them how much to take off. Another thing! Make sure you are facing the mirror at all times! That way you can see what tools are being used on your hair and you can stop them in case they want to get sneaky and break out the thinning shears or take too much off. (Learned that one the hard way years ago). Also, if your hair is long enough to drape over the back of the chair, tell them you want to stand up with the plastic drape on backwards. That way your ends won't be different lengths if you are going for blunt ends. You would be surprised how many hairdressers cannot grasp that concept. If ends are blunt after cutting hair draped over a chair back, they will NOT be blunt when hanging down naturally! (Learned that the hard way, too. Wound up with a top layer very noticeably three inches shorter than a bottom layer. Went in the salon with a nice blunt hemline!)

I would trim my own hair, if I could stand behind myself and do it lol, I don't see how I could even the ends myself. Everytime Ive been to the hairdresser they always make me stand up.
Im just gonna say this: " Im trying to grow out my layers, because I want my hair to grow out so it's all one length. so all that I want is this much (shows with fingers) taken off the length of my hair.

Does that sound ok?

[endlessly]

Be assertive and tell her point-blank, that way you can avoid issues later. One thing that was hard for me because I'm not the most assertive person in the world is to just remind myself that I'm the customer and really, they're working for me - it isn't the other way around. If your hairdresser wants to take complete control and give you no say in your hair, then you need to get rid of them and move on to someone else.

My worst salon experience was with a girl that didn't listen to what I said, just did what she wanted, and then had the audacity to tell me her reasoning for going against my wishes was because she thought it would look better. I regret every single day that I didn't stand up for myself right then and there because while I did get mad afterwards and filed complaints (she did eventually lose her job by upsetting one too many customers), it didn't really make me feel any better.

So, stand up for yourself and if the stylist starts doing something you don't like, tell them immediately. Remember, when they're cutting your hair, they work for you, and you have every right to protect yourself

[sarahthegemini]

Cut it yourself or don't cut it at all. Save your money and buy a new hair toy.

Sorry but those aren't the only options... OP just tell the hairdresser that you do not want your hair thinned. At all. Hairdresser's are just people, they're not monsters set against ruining your hair.

[lapushka]

" Im trying to grow out my layers, because I want my hair to grow out so it's all one length. so all that I want is this much (shows with fingers) taken off the length of my hair.

Does that sound ok?

All one length can be gravely misinterpreted. I wouldn't say that. Just say. I need a blunt cut. This much off. No thinning shears, please.

[arr]

All one length can be gravely misinterpreted. I wouldn't say that. Just say. I need a blunt cut. This much off. No thinning shears, please.

I agree. My last disastrous haircut I specifically said i wanted all one length and i ended up with deep choppy layers that have taken two years to grow out. I think she interpreted it to mean the bottom layer all one length, not a v shape. Im still not sure exactly how it happened. Emphasize you want all the hair one length, blunt cut.

[AZDesertRose]

OP, there's a method called Feye's self-trim that results in a very nice even hemline. I used to do it all the time, and I will again the next time my hair needs a trim. (I recently had layers cut out, so I'm not in need of a trim right now.)

[Grond]

death stare, been a few years now, but I still do it when its needed, give clear instructions and then observe them intensely, they will feel it in their bones and do precisely as you asked.
helps to look menacing tho.

[lapushka]

I agree. My last disastrous haircut I specifically said i wanted all one length and i ended up with deep choppy layers that have taken two years to grow out. I think she interpreted it to mean the bottom layer all one length, not a v shape. Im still not sure exactly how it happened. Emphasize you want all the hair one length, blunt cut.

All one length means all your hair is one length, that means layers. In a blunt cut not all your hair is the same length, esp. not underneath. On top is your longest layer in a blunt cut.

[lapushka]

death stare, been a few years now, but I still do it when its needed, give clear instructions and then observe them intensely, they will feel it in their bones and do precisely as you asked.
helps to look menacing tho.

I think all that does is make you come across unfriendly; a grumpy person. They might not even interpret it to mean anything about their service is under heavy scrutiny.

[arr]

All one length means all your hair is one length, that means layers. In a blunt cut not all your hair is the same length, esp. not underneath. On top is your longest layer in a blunt cut.

I completely see what you are saying. For instance, if my head was hanging upside down, all the layers would make it all one length, whereas a blunt cut would have all different lengths. I just never thought of it like that before and at the time i didnt realize she would understand it that way. Good to know. All the more so is the need to explain it thoroughly to the stylist and preferably have some visuals to show what we really want.

[lapushka]

I completely see what you are saying. For instance, if my head was hanging upside down, all the layers would make it all one length, whereas a blunt cut would have all different lengths. I just never thought of it like that before and at the time i didnt realize she would understand it that way. Good to know. All the more so is the need to explain it thoroughly to the stylist and preferably have some visuals to show what we really want.

Yep, pictures are a *huge* help! Less chance for miscommunication!

[Grond]

yes, i think your right about that, but then I am quite grumpy, probably why I don't let other people cut my hair anymore.
I'm sure i come off as a lunatic donkey when I ask people to repeat back to me what I just told them, but its not wrong to be demanding. i think :whistle:

[lapushka]

yes, i think your right about that, but then I am quite grumpy, probably why I don't let other people cut my hair anymore.
I'm sure i come off as a lunatic donkey when I ask people to repeat back to me what I just told them, but its not wrong to be demanding. i think :whistle:

:lol: LOL @ lunatic donkey. :lol: I'm sorry, I had to laugh.

[meteor]

It goes something like this: "Hello, I just changed hair dresser because the last one kept on thinning my hair, what I would like is *insert big smile and description*". *:OD

^Another vote for this! :)
Remember: you are the one in control. :D
Also, bring a photo, if you can. If you can't get a simple blunt cut at that salon, go to a barber shop, I don't know why, but from my experience, they seem to just do what one asks without trying to "pretty it up" with a few trendy layers. Also, watch your hairdresser like a hawk: I know it's hard to do, but if you feel like you don't know what exactly the hairdresser is doing in the back, just ask. :)

[gwenalyn]

Emphasize your long-term goals--you are trying to grow your hair longer, you are trying to make the bottom thicker.

[spidermom]

My granddaughter's hair stylist always thinned her hair without even asking, and when I said something about it, she said "I have to, otherwise we're not going to be able to do a thing with all THIS!" We found a new hair stylist who understands thick hair.

[AZDesertRose]

If you can't get a simple blunt cut at that salon, go to a barber shop, I don't know why, but from my experience, they seem to just do what one asks without trying to "pretty it up" with a few trendy layers. Also, watch your hairdresser like a hawk: I know it's hard to do, but if you feel like you don't know what exactly the hairdresser is doing in the back, just ask. :)

Additional bonus to going to a barber shop is they tend not to charge as much as a salon catering mostly to women clients. I used to have my stepfather's barber trim my bangs/fringe when I went with him when he got his hair cut, and his barber charged about 2/3 what a salon stylist would charge.

[EdG]

Search for "Feye's self-trim". Your hair is long enough to trim it yourself.

I did the Feye self-trim for years before Feye made it famous.
Ed

[TheGoddess]

^Another vote for this! :)
Remember: you are the one in control. :D
Also, bring a photo, if you can. If you can't get a simple blunt cut at that salon, go to a barber shop, I don't know why, but from my experience, they seem to just do what one asks without trying to "pretty it up" with a few trendy layers. Also, watch your hairdresser like a hawk: I know it's hard to do, but if you feel like you don't know what exactly the hairdresser is doing in the back, just ask. :)

but how do I explain that i dont want a blunt cut right then and there?, Im waiting for my layers to catch up and just want the very ends trimmed a little bit (not the layers)

[elsieivy]

but how do I explain that i dont want a blunt cut right then and there?, Im waiting for my layers to catch up and just want the very ends trimmed a little bit (not the layers)

I would tell them that you are growing the layers out so you only want the bottom hem trimmed. Then physically show them where you want the hem cut to. Bringing a friend can be helpful since they can ask the hairdresser to stop if it doesn't look like they are following your instructions. (Sometimes it can be a little hard to see yourself.)

[mz_butterfly]

Is your hair that bad that it needs a trim right now? Can you hold off awhile longer?

Can you enlist a friend to trim your ends?

If you decide to go to the salon, simply say what you want. Too many people go to the salon and say "you are the hairdresser, you know what's best and what looks best" and when they cut your hair and you hate it, you're stuck with it.

Simply state your wishes, why do people find this so difficult?

Just say what you need/want: I want a trim on my ends, no layers, no thinning, no more than an (inch, half inch, whatever amount you want)

[Wildcat Diva]

Additional bonus to going to a barber shop is they tend not to charge as much as a salon catering mostly to women clients. I used to have my stepfather's barber trim my bangs/fringe when I went with him when he got his hair cut, and his barber charged about 2/3 what a salon stylist would charge.

I do this for my trims. I have had 2 one inch trims in three years by the same barber (she owns the shop). Happy with this
method.

[Unicorn]

but how do I explain that i dont want a blunt cut right then and there?, Im waiting for my layers to catch up and just want the very ends trimmed a little bit (not the layers)

Like this, in bold.

Unicorn

[oddelabop]

My hairdresser recently just cut a load of layers back into my hair *grumble gumble* but that was through miscommunication...
Assuming you don't want too much cut off - i think they use the term, "dusting". Also say you dont want it thinned or tell her/him that you are trying to grow the layers out (that's if you want!)
Usually they will do as you ask :)

[spidermom]

I used to say something like "just take 1 inch off the very bottom of my hair" while showing him/her where I meant.

[iYaap]

My trick is, even though I have an appointment, is to step in and say: "I'm here for advice, I'm still growing my hair, does it really need a trim?"

Then when she says I do I agree on taking of a smell edge of the tips only.

[TheGoddess]

I told my hair dresser everything and she did it perfectly:)

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7731/17432422002_9fcf91269b.jpg

[lapushka]

Well that's good news! :thumbsup:
Looking good!

[elsieivy]

I told my hair dresser everything and she did it perfectly:)


It looks great! So glad it worked out

[TheGoddess]

Thanks lapushka and elsieivy!:)

[HintOfMint]

I told my hair dresser everything and she did it perfectly:)

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7731/17432422002_9fcf91269b.jpg

Wonderful news! It looks great!

I'm always glad to hear positive experiences with hairdressers. Sometimes the hostility towards salons here can be a bit... disproportionate.

[Katlette]

It looks really nice! Yay for good stylists! :joy:

[unicornlady]

Take someone with you to watch, and if she starts thinning your hairout, have them say NO.

Or just cancel it. That's what I would do. Once it happened to me that I wanted a simplest horizontal chin bob. I showed the hairdresser a picture how it should look like (http://www.short-haircut.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/New-Short-Bob-Hairstyles-for-2013-14.jpg). My hair was instead tapared to death and the lengths were going from the top of my head to my nape, and then a few ugly "tails" in the back of my head. She made a short hairstyle instead of medium one. I've never seen anything so ugly and it didnt look any close to the picture I have shown. I felt ill and needed a glass of water when I've seen it dry, especially from behind, it was all incredibly short. I barely went out of the door. I make sure this never happens again.

I learned how to trim my hair, how to cut bangs and even a bit of layering and I'm worry free now. My life is too precious for stressing.

[unicornlady]

Oh! Just seen you've found a trustworthy stylist. Forget my advice then. Congratulations!

[cat11]

Cut it yourself or don't cut it at all. Save your money and buy a new hair toy.

This!! So many better things to spend your hair budget on... there are MANY methods... one that involves ponytailing to get straight cut, another ponytail method for v, another ponytail method for layers, and one where you go all around the head in small sections taking off the same small amount (for thick haired people & curlies)... some curlies also go curl by curl

edit: >_> should have read the last page. Your cut looks great... leaving the advice for the future ^_^

[Unicorn]

I told my hair dresser everything and she did it perfectly:)

https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7731/17432422002_9fcf91269b.jpg

Glad it worked out for you. The next time it'll be even easier to assert you wishes as it gets easier with practice.

Unicorn