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LadyMantis
April 29th, 2015, 11:01 PM
Hey all--

I already have long-ish hair (about where the back of my bra is at the longest, but it's in layers) but I want to grow it down to my lower back. I don't want to grow it much longer though because I'm short and I've heard really long hair can make a person look shorter. I've never grown my hair out that long before and my hairdresser actually says that not everyone CAN grow their hair out that long. She said sometimes people's hair just stops growing at a certain length. If that's the case, I'm not sure mine WILL grow that much longer. Not trimming my dead ends off will not work either because I get REALLY dead ends and that makes the hair break off anyway, while making the actual hair strands thinner.

I've been taking vitamins and trying to stay hydrated to keep my hair healthy, but do any of you have any pointers? If I COULD trim my ends less, I would but 6 weeks is about as long as I can go without my ends splitting. SO ANNOYING!!!! :mad:

FallingDarkness
April 29th, 2015, 11:40 PM
I've never seen anyone with really long hair look shorter. It's a myth. If you want really long hair, grow it out, and own it. I'm short too and I'm at least growing to BCL (butt crack length seeing how you're new).
There is such a thing as a terminal length but it's normally far past what you're talking about (around mid back length or waist as your hair goal I assume?) and most people can, with proper hair care, get to classic and beyond. We even have people with beyond floor length hair here. Really. Insane.
MAIN POINTERS FOR YOU: A list by FallingDarkness. :P
1. Wash your hair less. Seriously. Stretch your washes. I wash my hair only once a week and in the last 18 months I've only needed one trim. Also, what you're using for your shampoo/conditioner might need changing. I use a sulfate free shampoo (sulfates can be harsh on some types of hair) and a conditioner called VO5. What works for me doesn't work for everyone, but make sure to check the ingredients in your shampoo. Also, I condition, shampoo, condition again, and it keeps my hair really moisturized. This could also help you strengthen your hair and keep it healthy. Lots of different washing methods to try out here, so pick one and see if it's good for you!
2. Wear your hair up as much as possible. If you don't like buns, then braids are a good alternative. Don't use hair ties to keep your hair up. We like using hair sticks and forks, but a pencil could suffice. Also claw clips are good in a pinch, if your hair can fit into it. Wearing your hair up keeps it away from rubbing against stuff and getting tangled, all of which can hurt your hair.
3. Buy a bristle boar brush. It'll help you stretch your washes.
4. Detangle your hair SAFELY! I use a wide tooth comb, and I spend a great deal of time gently going through my tangles when I take it down at the end of the day. It makes a HUGE difference I promise.
5. Invest in good deep conditioning treatments. I personally like to spread coconut oil on the length and put it up in a shower cap or a bun for the day and then wash it out, but there are a ton of at home remedies and good recommendations for store bought products as well that you could use to keep your hair conditioned and healthy.

I guess these 5 tips are what have helped me the most in my hair growing journey. If you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. And I assure you if you follow these you won't need a trim for quite a bit of time. :P Happy growing good luck and WELCOME! <3

Seventy7
April 29th, 2015, 11:45 PM
Welcome, LadyMantis!

It is true hair had a terminal length, and it is at a different lengt for every person. But you wouldn't know where yours is, if you don't let it grow. So just get going and see where it gets you, you might be surprised!

Trimming your ends every 6 weeks does not help your hair get longer. Your hair will get longer when you don't cut it.
Also, hair should not split that quickly. The splits could be due to your current hair care regime. Changing how you handle your hair will change how your hair behaves.

There is a ton of information on this forum to help you grow your hair. I just can't give a complete summary in the time I have now. Just read around and see what you learn.

If you go about changing your regime, take it slow. You will have to figure out what works for you and your hair. So you need to find out if a change is good or bad for you. This takes a few weeks for each new change. But that is ok, as hair grows only slowly, so you will have plenty of time. ;)

How do you handle your hair now? How often do you wash, what products do you use, and how do you wear your hair?
This helps giving more detailed pointers.

You're at the start of a journey, it's so exiting! :cheer:
Welcome again and I hope you will feel at home here.

gthlvrmx
April 30th, 2015, 12:00 AM
If you use a pencil, make sure you make the ends smooth so that the pencil won't grab onto any hairs and cause damage. You can use a colored pencil and paint the tip with nail polish. There is a thread here on how to make your own hairsticks: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=131

If you buy a boar bristle brush, make sure it is 100% pure boar bristle. You don't want to get one that has plastic in it. Madora, a member on here, has really good advice about using a BBB (boar bristle brush), maybe you can do a quick search and find one of her posts about brushing.

A good conditioning treatment on here is the SMT. I love it, it works. At least for me. Here is the link: http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=128

Many people can get their hair to grow down to their lower backs. I have reached BCL (or around tailbone length) when stretched and it was around waist when curly. Long hair didn't make me look shorter and I knew someone who was really short (under 5 feet) and I don't think long hair made her look shorter. She also had a similar hair goal as yours. She did look adorable with her giant sousaphone on her though! (We played the tuba in marching band).
It is a bit more rare that people reach their terminal length at a short length (APL and below). Most people can reach APL and further. Some rare people can't but that probably does not include you. I am sure your hair will grow pretty long!

As for pointers, wear your hair up in a protective updo more often. Hairsticks and forks can help (you can even buy a double pointed knitting needle and bend it to make a U shape and use that as a fork for your hair) and you can search through Youtube how to use them. There is a thread here too with people's videos too http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=120673

Moisture! Your hair will need lots of moisture so try to give it as much moisture as you can! Look into oils and see if any of them might interest you. EVOO and coconut oil can penetrate hair but oils like baby oil can't really do that, but those 3 work well for retaining moisture in the hair if you use them on damp/wet hair.

Also, learn at your own pace on this website. The information may seem overwhelming at first, but take your time. No rush. Your hair will grow. If you don't know already, for searching for threads on here, just go on google and type in your hair concern followed by "long hair community". For example: how do I use coconut oil long hair community.
That should help you find threads faster if you can't figure out the search thing that this website has. I know I still haven't figured it out and I have been here for a little while :p HTH!

Also, welcome! :) It's nice to see new people on here!

Nique1202
April 30th, 2015, 05:34 AM
Yeah, don't be afraid to try different shampoo/conditioner but only change one product at a time for at least 3-4 washes before you give it a pass or give up on it. While sulfates can be drying and irritating to some people, don't be afraid to try something with lots of sulfates if you haven't had a reaction to shampoos in the past, just pair sulfates with a very moisturizing conditioner. Bristle brushes are really good on some hair types, but I can't find one that will get through my hair and they won't move my hair oils around the way they do for some people, so if it doesn't work don't be too worried.

No one product or item or routine will work for every person. Every head of hair is different. Have you tried finding the type of your hair by the stickied post yet? If you can share that and your current routine (how often you wash, what products you use, what kind of brush/comb, etc.) that will be a good starting point for us to help you find stuff to try.

Agnes Hannah
April 30th, 2015, 06:03 AM
Hey, I'm petite at 4"10 and I'm at hip! When its in a bun no one knows how long it is anyway! I'm also 49!
Welcome to the LHC!

LadyMantis
April 30th, 2015, 12:44 PM
Thanks for all the pointers! I think I may want to grow my hair out to one length but I haven't quite decided that. I think that's what I'm going to start with (it's currently in layers) and I can always cut layers back in if I want. It's just that I want my hair to have volume too. Unfortunately, as of now, I need to wash my hair every other day because my scalp gets REALLY oily if I don't and it looks gross. So would you guys recommend using hair chopsticks to put my hair up?

LadyMantis
April 30th, 2015, 12:46 PM
I forgot to mention that I'm currently using a brush with REALLY THIN plastic meant for hair extensions and blow-outs. (It's made by DryBar). So I don't think I really have to worry about breakage. It is SUPER gentle on my hair. I actually have a Mason-Pearson bristle brush but I think it makes my hair frizz out. Probably because I have naturally wavy hair. Do you guys think I should try that again?

lapushka
April 30th, 2015, 01:58 PM
You've already had some great tips. If your hair dresser is telling you you need a trim every 4 to 8 weeks. Don't trust them, and run far far away. ;) Your hair can't possibly all split after 6 weeks, so I suggest S&D sessions to keep the splits out that you get. With S&D, you look through the hair, catch the splits one by one and cut above each individual hair.

Welcome! :)

Arctic
April 30th, 2015, 02:06 PM
Link to Ursula's Standard Newbie Advice article:
http://web.archive.org/web/20110224200548/http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/vbjournal.php?do=article&articleid=39

Welcome and enjoy your stay, you will learn lots in a short time, I'm sure :)

LadyMantis
April 30th, 2015, 03:58 PM
Thanks guys--

I just got a wide-tooth comb and I'm going to try the coconut oil. I just have a quick question though. Why is everyone saying you should keep your hair up as much as possible? Just curious. :o

Arctic
April 30th, 2015, 04:01 PM
It helps protect the ends, that are the oldest part of your hair. If one aims for very long lengths, the ends are going to be maybe 6-10 or more years old, and during that time lot of mechanical damage can cumulative occur. So the advice is to keep the hair up. It also help to avoid tangling and helps to keep the lenghts moisturized.

Nique1202
April 30th, 2015, 04:02 PM
Thanks guys--

I just got a wide-tooth comb and I'm going to try the coconut oil. I just have a quick question though. Why is everyone saying you should keep your hair up as much as possible? Just curious. :o

Keeping your hair up, especially with low-damage fasteners like sticks and spin pins and such, protects the length and the ends from damage. Hair gets caught under clothes, bag straps, between you and chairs, under seatbelts, and in all kinds of other places that cause friction and damage over time. It might not affect you as much if your hair is thick or your goal is on your back (rather than tailbone or longer) but a lot of people who wear their hair down every day and, for example, sit in the same chair every day find a false terminal length where their hair breaks off around the level of the top of the chair because it gets so much more damage there.

missrandie
April 30th, 2015, 04:03 PM
Why is everyone saying you should keep your hair up as much as possible? Just curious. :o

The wind, clothing, chairs, the hairs themselves, etc. rub against the strands and cause damage that leads to breakage. Keeping your hair up reduces the amount of mechanical damage to the length and ends that occurs.

Also, it reduces the amount of tangling that happens throughout the day, and you don't have to detangle as much at night. Therefore, you are again reducing mechanical damage.