Urge to chop?

[Aurum]

Hi guys. I can't believe I'm writing one of these; usually I'm responding to them. :\

I like having long hair (hip+ currently) but I'm getting the worst feelings about cutting it. My hair is unruly, fine, and tangly even with the best of care, it has damage at the bottom, and the hemline is lopsided.
I'm getting tired of braiding it every day and I don't have the skill or the hairtoys to do anything more advanced than a cinnabun or nautilus. When I wear it down, it gets EVERYWHERE and the constant swinging over my shoulder makes me feel encroached upon.
Also, long hair is in style, so it seems like everyone and their brother is growing their hair at the moment. I'd say the average is now waist length, so mine doesn't really stand out in a crowd. I want that wow factor and I still can't get it.
I was considering microtrims or a smaller trim, but microtrimming yields such slow results and a smallish trim would put me back in the realm of mainstream hair. I've developed almost an aversion to mainstream lengths since I started paying attention to hair; I'd much rather have a pixie than BSL. I've also never had hair shorter than collarbone length and I want to know what that feels like.

I know you're supposed to wait 2 weeks before chopping. Well, I've done that and the feelings have persisted. At the same time, I'm afraid of chopping and regretting it.
I'm wondering if it's stress related as AP tests and the end of the school year are approaching. What if the urges go away when all of that is done? I'd hate to have grown all this time only to chop a month before it gets easy again.
I'm so conflicted.

[sarah.j.xx]

Hmmm... sounds like maybe you're just really stressed out at the moment. I'm going through end-of-the-year testing too and it sucks. >.< What you do with your hair is completely up to you, but maybe you should wait until after the tests are over and see how you feel about your hair at that point. Until then, just put it up and wait it out. Be patient; I'm sure you'll reach your goal length sooner or later. :flower:

[Sarahlabyrinth]

^^^ I agree with this. Put your hair up and forget about it until your end of school year and stresses are over, then re-evaluate your hair and how you want it. Chopping at a stressful time is never a good thing to do. Hope all goes smoothly for you.

[endlessly]

My suggestion is to wait it out because if you are worried about regretting it, then you most likely will. To help with the damaged ends, you can certainly try microtrimming for the time being to see if that will help and if you think your hair really needs it, otherwise, I'd suggest just trying more moisturizing treatments to help with the ends for the time being.

I've started to notice lately that longer hair is becoming more popular again, but remember that summer is approaching and with that always comes shorter hairstyles, so the 'mainstream' cut will change soon! Basically, don't rush into anything. It's good that you gave yourself a few weeks to think about it, but if you're feeling especially stressed, don't take the risk of drastically changing your appearance - trust me, you won't be happy with it!

I've been where you are, just generally unhappy with everything about my hair, but feelings do change and I know what it's like to rush into a cut and then spend months crying afterwards. I had an awful haircut several years back because the stylist made a huge mistake and then didn't know how to fix it - this past March I finally had the last of those choppy layers removed. It took 6 years to grow it out! And, all because I made a rash decision to change my hairstyle when I wasn't happy with its current state and looking back at pictures, my hair beforehand was gorgeous and honestly didn't deserve the nightmarish cut at all.

So, give yourself some time and try to wait it out in case the urge disappears. If you still want to cut it, spend a lot of time researching different hairstyles - there are even some websites that let you "try on" a new hairstyle before you get it cut, so even look at that to make sure you'll like how it looks with your face shape.

Best of luck in whatever you decide!

[ositarosita]

You sound incredibly stressed and sad that your length is no longer considered "special" or eye grabbing. You sound like you just want to be different and as you said long hair is currently in style so your length is now main stream. I would 1) wait until you're done with testing and 2) wait until the long hair trend has finished because it ALWAYS does (your hair will be in better condition than others anyway so they will have to chop, in the mean time you will have reached classic or knee).

I'm right there with you with length I either like to a pixie or BCL right now I'm almost back to BSL, so I am constantly unhappy with my length because it is neither of the extremes.

[Zesty]

IMO the two week rule absolutely does not apply during times of change or stress. I wouldn't cut just yet. If your hair is tangly try some different routines/products. (I thought mine was too, but I've recently discovered that it doesn't have to be.) If you're bored with your styles get on YouTube and learn some new ones. Get a new hair toy. Or just put it up and focus on something else until things have settled down. Plus the only way to have longer than mainstream hair is to keep growing!

(I was in a similar situation and cut from TBL to collarbone my senior year of college, and I wish someone had told me these things before I did. Not that I necessarily would have listened!)

[maborosi]

Don't cut yet- you're probably dealing with a lot of overwhelming feelings.

BTW- I have F/M tangle-prone hair and a ton (right at iii) of it. I know your struggle. Have you tried mineral oil? It's one of the only things I've found that really allows me to wear it down every now and then without it getting frizzy and tangled.

[cat11]

I agree that I think you should hold out. Once it gets longer it will wow, and you can wow by learning unusual hairstyles and wearing unusual things in them.

If you trim, even like 1/2 inch a month, I think you'll get results quicker than you think,and then you might be really glad you didn't chop when you see the results. Also, short hair is even harder to keep out of the face than long hair. I also hate the hair in the face thing and it got way better when I grew longer.

[rhosyn_du]

I agree with everyone who has said cutting during times of stress is a bad idea. Also, I really think that making drastic changes to your hair because you're feeling frustrated or down about your hair is the wrong way to approach it. If you were considering cutting because you were really excited by the prospect of having short hair, that would be different, but it doesn't sound like you are.

[Nique1202]

Since others have addressed the "chopping off hair while stressed out is bad" stuff, I want to second that trying new products and routines, even if they're similar to something you've tried before, can make the world of difference. I had to switch shampoos a couple of months ago because of a discontinued line, and switching to a protein shampoo has reduced my split ends and tangles about 90% even though I thought my hair was manageable before. While that might not be your solution, depending on which products you're using now and what you're willing and able to try, it could absolutely be worth trying something new or different whether that's more moisture, more protein, more cones, less sulfates, whatever.

I also want to address this:


I'm getting tired of braiding it every day and I don't have the skill or the hairtoys to do anything more advanced than a cinnabun or nautilus. When I wear it down, it gets EVERYWHERE and the constant swinging over my shoulder makes me feel encroached upon.

Skill comes with practice, and the only hair toys you probably ever need for 95% of the styles there are tutorials for are elastics that are clear or match your hair colour, small hair pins (bobby or amish), and a hair stick or two. I made hair sticks from wooden craft dowels using sandpaper, a pencil sharpener, and nail polish, so it doesn't have to be expensive or fancy to work.

By saying you're tired of braiding, do you mean you just put it in a plain English or French/Dutch braid most of the time? Because those braiding skills can be applied to some really fun and unique styles. YouTuber LaDollyVita33 (https://www.youtube.com/user/LaDollyVita33/videos) (and her second channel LaDollyVita333 (https://www.youtube.com/user/LaDollyVita333/videos)) has done a lot of really special hairstyles, some based on fantasy film and TV and some just to look different, and her hair looks like it's only about bsl-to-waist length so you should be able to do anything she does in her videos. Find something you think looks cool and practice it every day or two, and you'll have a new way to stand out from the crowd.

It's hard to think back to the advice you give everyone else when you're feeling discouraged about your own hair or your own problems, so you don't have to feel weird for asking for help. We all hit walls now and then, that's why being part of a community like this one is so great: we can help each other out when we start to falter. :heart:

[StellaKatherine]

I have same thing... My ends are extrimely thin and my braid looks awfull from half way down... I keep on looking at the thicker braids when I walk in the city .. And it feels like it doesn't grow much eather. I know it does, but so it feels like. I am so close to my goal, but devil in my head is saying, that is it worth it with thin ends ? I won't even wear coronet braid as it will look awfull with thinned up ends of the braid. Maybe just cut back to waist ? No one really even notice the change around, only I will... But this feelings are always when I am getting to this lenght. I've cut so many times at this stage... Personally I just try to forget it....... :)

[MINAKO]

Been there SO. MANY. TIMES!!! Wanting to chop to look more tomboyish, cool, careless and polished at the same time. But the longer my hair got the more i became attached to it, i would have never dreamed of being able to achieve classic and it still healthy, continuing to grow. Would make me feel like trowing away a gift and also the results of plenty of TLC. If my hair was long without me paying any attention to it i think i might take it lighter to part with it. But since being a member on here the obsession is very self explanatory. Theres a high chance you will be wanting your long hair back after a while and that will be a pain going through all the stages of growing out again.
Just wait a bit more and maybe it will be special to you once you reach the neyt marker on your body. It needs to look good on you in the first place, so dont be bothered so much by what other people chose to wear their hair.

[Yarrow]

Thin ends, loopsided? Yea, me too and I get the urge to cut it as well.
I would wait till summer or end of summer to cut. Thing is you can always cut your hair later but once you cut it, you can't uncut it.
Actually thin ends help when your doing buns, at least that's my experience. Most of the lhc featured buns just require a hair stick or a pencil. Just try them out. I check in the what hairstyle are you wearing today thread and see if I can do a hairstyle that other members are doing, if I need an idea of what to do with my hair.
Also you could get some deposit dye and try to dye streaks and or a dip dye, if you are getting bored with your hair. I find curling also hides the thin ends and loopsided ness for me.

[LongCurlyTress]

Sounds like you are under a lot of stress from school so..... be careful!! I, like many others who have already commented on this thread so far, have hacked my hair off, only to really regret it later. The only time I haven't regretted it was when I trimmed off an inch to even out my hemline and get rid of tangles. But it was only one inch, and my hair grew back within the next two months. Please be careful and realize most of us have been thinking to do the same thing as you are. My hair is 32+ and I have an uneven hemline now. I have never been at this length before and it is so tempting to want to trim off an inch to even out the hemline. But... I just put it back in my lwb and try to forget about it. My goal is classic right now, and I am about 2 years maybe from that goal. I had a chin length curly bob in March, 2011 when I cut off my dyed brassy apl length to chin where the dye had grown out to. OH did I regret that! Of course, right after that trim, the "Ombre" hair color came into vogue!! UH!! I was so ahead (literally!!) of the curve and didn't know it! Ugh!! Anyways, we are about the same length and I know what you are going through. Hang in there and go study!! Hugs!!! :cool:

[AimeeMarie]

I agree, EVERYONE has long hair right now! (My hair is only shoulder length after a chop to just below chin in February, so the long hairs stick out to me.)

HOWEVER, did you also know that the new cut right now is a wavy, messy bob, "lob" and #cleartheshoulders (so many nicknames coming up for it.) Tons of celebs right now doing the chop!

Don't cut right now, you are stressed out. Wait for school to be over...I cut my hair when I was bored and a little bit stressed and tired of the cold weather. Regret it, obviously.

[texangrrl]

I would wait a little longer since you're still stressed over it. I just recently went to the salon and had a couple inches trimmed off to help even out a hemline that was looking awful. Even though it was needed, I hated doing it. I still have some unevenness (due to layers from a couple years ago), but I'm going to wait it out even if it kills me.

[Darrin]

My advice is to wait and do nothing right now. It is never a good ideal to make a decision while under stress or direst. ( excuse my spelling!) Your hair is not going anywhere. Short hair requires more maintenance and trips to the salon. If you do decide to trim, I would do a couple inches first. Nothing major, you can always trim more later. Plus you are conflicted. This tells me your not sure what to do. If your not sure, do nothing always trust your gut instincts.

Good Luck!

Darrin

[spidermom]

Please keep in mind that you can get a similar look to pixie with long hair by putting it up, especially if you have bangs or face-framing bits. By similar, I mean that your neck and ears show, your hair is close to the head. With a pixie, that's the only look you can have.

You might consider a different shape for your hem and maybe some long layers. I went from blunt to long layers with more of a V or steep U, and I'm so much happier with my long hair. The blunt cut looked too much like a cape for me.

[Deborah]

If your hair really is damaged at the ends and lopsided, a good trim, say one or two inches, might make a huge difference in how it looks and how you feel about it. That's what I would do if I were you; not a drastic cut, just getting rid of the damaged and lopsided parts. I love the look and feel of freshly trimmed ends.

That's my two cents.

[lapushka]

Honestly? It is high time for learning some buns. Look up some YT tutorials. Sit down in front of them, and practice. A lot! It's the only way to avoid a cut IMMHO. Hair getting in the way is absolutely horrendous and it will get on your nerves to a point where you'd do anything, even cut it short. Don't do anything impulsive, please!

[AmyBeth]

I so understand what you're feeling. Fine, thin, tangles, all thumbs when it comes to learning any new creative styles of updos, check. My advice would be to definitely stop comparing your hair to anyone else's, and don't worry at all about whether anyone else is impressed with your hair. Do only what makes YOU happy- you have to live with it 24/7, no one else. Put it up in your cinnabun and wait until you can decide with more confidence what you really want to do with it. I find that since my choice of updos is fairly limited to the few I can master, having an abundance of hair toys helps to relieve the monotony a bit. I really love parandas because you can easily and affordably make them yourself. They make a braid more interesting, thicker, longer, and help keep your hair protected. A few parandas may help you wait out this stressful, indecisive period. Hair toys are also a dime a dozen on Ebay.:)

[Aurum]

Well, I took a couple days away from LHC to think about a course of action, and I've come to a decision: I won't chop, but it is time for a significant trim.
Every time I look at my hair, I can see a clear demarcation line where the old damage and unevenness starts, 2-3 inches from the hemline. It seems like this bit in particular has really been contributing to my unhappiness, and nice thick ends should give me the encouragement to keep growing. It'll take me almost smack dab to waist, and I'll be sad about the length for a while, but ultimately it's for the best if it can carry me past this awful stage.
Thankfully, summer is upon us, which means extra growth for making up the lost length. :)

Thank you all for persuading me to wait. These past few weeks have been insane for me, and I've hit some low points for sure. Sigh.

ETA:

Here's a picture to show you all what I'm planning, in case you're curious. I will unfortunately land back in Mainstream Land, but some things just can't be helped.

http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m532/Pintar5/Mobile%20Uploads/09cd2876-a935-4516-9d20-02b1bb61a252_zpsuu5tsuce.jpg (http://s1130.photobucket.com/user/Pintar5/media/Mobile%20Uploads/09cd2876-a935-4516-9d20-02b1bb61a252_zpsuu5tsuce.jpg.html)

[Lightbulb7Seven]

You have been through so much and remember that SOOO many people have been in your position and totally regretted it. After the initial 'high' from a new look wears off, maybe after a month on average, the majority of people pine for the days when they had their longer hair and wish to turn back the hands of time. Think about the length of your goal and don't let day to day stresses take your beautiful hair goals to places your heart might not want to go. You might thank yourself later. It might be helpful to to discover a new hairdo that you haven't worn before, something exciting that flatters you like never before. Many can only be worn with the length you have already. Find inspiration by imagining how your dream hair could be, is it shorter or longer? Lastly, be satisfied with what you have accomplished so far and be proud of your achievements! Appreciate your beauty fully and be grateful to be you! In the end, you just want to be able to love yourself and not wonder what if I suppose. Long or short it is your wellbeing in the long run that is precious.

[Lightbulb7Seven]

Sorry your update JUST showed up on my phone, that is a great decision and I hope you are very pleased with the results ☺