Hair pains :(

[Ilenora]

Ugh. My hair is not cooperating right now at all. I don't know whether it's my new cone-free s&c or my new combs, but something seems to be making it extra tangle-prone.

Last night I watched some of Torrin's videos and decided to try a simple cinnabun. What a disaster. I couldn't get it high enough on my head, it was okay for the first couple of twists but then my remaining hair turned into a frizzy afro and refused to twirl around the rest properly. I ended up with an ugly lump that immediately fell to the nape of my neck. When I took it down my arms were tired, my scalp hurt and my hair was tangled so I had to spend another 10 minutes brushing it.

It it hard to describe what my hair is like. It's not at all like Torrin's. Her is thick and long but it's also silky and flows easily. When bunched up, mine is thick and tough - it sticks together and has this anti-gravity quality to it - like when held up near the end, rather than flowing down it sort of just sticks up. It makes it really hard to work with.

This morning I thought I would put some conditioner in the ends to try to make them smoother and more manageable. Worst idea ever. It was fine while I combed it in the ends, but then I tried to brush through the entire length and it immediately knotted up just above the conditioned ends. It just made the hair sticky rather than silky. I tried to wash it out and brush again and it took me half an hour to get it back to mostly-tangle-free. I don't know whether a coney conditioner would work better than a cone-free?

I disappointingly stuck it in a braid. I did try a braided cinnabun, but that wouldn't stay up even with two sticks. It's just so heavy. I think after my next wash I'll try one of those staged buns where you put half up and then the other half.

[Popsicle]

I think we have all made that mistake at least once; just a little extra conditioner before heading out of the house and quickly finding it caused problems. I like the stacked bun look of two or three buns lined up vertically and my hair isn't nearly as thick as yours. Stacked buns instantly give you that "complicated hairdo" look.

[ChloeDharma]

Maybe you just need to go back to cones, have they worked for you in the past? Oiling might be another option, I don't use mineral oil myself but some find adding a few drops to wet hair after washing gives slip and helps prevent tangling. There are of course other oils you could try like coconut, camellia etc.

I hope you find a solution soon though, I can sympathise with hair that just will not behave, particularly annoying floaty frizzy hair that just point blank refuses to look nice and hang nicely.

[spidermom]

Have you clarified in recent weeks? Buildup from products can make hair behave the way yours is behaving. If you haven't, buy a shampoo that says clarifying right on the label. Wash your hair from scalp to tips, rinse, repeat. Follow with a conditioning treatment. I like Aussie 3 minute miracle, but any conditioner that has moisturizing on the label will work. There is also the popular SMT that consists of 2 parts conditioner, 1 part honey, 1 part aloe vera gel (NOT the green kind sold for sunburns but the clear kind sold for moisturizing). A recipe will look something like this - 1/2 cup conditioner, 1/4 cup honey, 1/4 cup aloe vera gel. I used to whip mine up in a bowl sitting in warm water using a whisk. Otherwise the formula can clump up. I have decided that I like over-the-counter products better so I don't make this anymore.

Or it could be that your hair is coarse. I can't help you much with that as I don't have personal experience. I'd classify my hair as fine to medium with a few wiry white strands.

Oh, and coney conditioner or serum can help a lot with tangles. I wash my hair 2 to 3 times per week but only use my coney serum once every week or two. The effect lasts that long for me. If you use the clarifying shampoo from time to time, that will remove any buildup you might get from silicone products.

[Ilenora]

I only recently got into alternative haircare so I've been using basic coney s&c for... ever. I haven't ever used any other products. It's only been the last two washes that I've switched to a cone free s&c. Also I've started putting coconut oil and ACV in before washing it out with the s&c.

What actually is 'clarifying'? Just a simple matter of using a clarifying shampoo? Most of our s&c is 'moisturising' or 'for dry/frizz prone hair'.

My hair is sort of coarse. In small pieces, it can be silky and smooth but floats as though it is very light, even though as a whole it is extremely heavy. Sectioning it makes it more manageable - eg. two braids are way easier to handle than a single huge braid. I think I will have to stick to braided buns because my hair is too crazy when it's let loose XD Also Torrin has a video on making a bun by bunning half the hair, then wrapping the other half around the first half.

[spidermom]

For clarifying, all you need is a clarifying shampoo. It is formulated to remove all the buildup that silicone products, conditioners, and oils leave behind. Sometimes you have so much buildup that your hair can either become dry and unmanageable or limp and dull, which is usually what happens to me.

[Ilenora]

Thanks! I'll have to see if I can get the Aussie one or another brand. Hopefully it'll help.

[endlessly]

My hair sounds exactly like yours. Spidermom recommended using a clarifying shampoo, which I would also strongly recommend because sometimes all that added gunk from shampoo/conditioner/styling products can really adhere to your scalp and hair. Using a clarifying shampoo should also help with the heavy feeling you've been having with your hair as well as the feeling of it all sticking together. Also, one thing I do from time to time that I find incredibly helpful for my hair is to do an ACV spray. Before you're planning on washing your hair, spritz on some diluted ACV (I use a medium-sized spray bottle), making sure to completely dampen your hair and then massage into your scalp, too. Then, let it sit for as long as you can stand, shampoo and condition like normal. The ACV helps to also act as a clarifying treatment, so it's always left my hair feeling incredibly light and silky.

[Ilenora]

Thanks Endlessly :) My hair has been this way for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it's softer, sometimes it's tangly-er, I haven't really noticed a direct cause for either.

For the last... 3 washes, I think, I've been soaking it in coconut oil for about 10-15 minutes. Then I sprayed it with ACV and let that sit for about 5 minutes, then rinsed out, shampooed and conditioned. It has made my hair feel softer, but not really any less tangles. Maybe I should let it soak longer?

[Ilenora]

My mother has the lightest, fluffiest hair that just bounces around her head. I think I have inherited a similar texture but with much longer and thicker hair.

[spidermom]

I like to do a pre-wash coconut oil treatment overnight when I remember. I wait until the scalp area gets oily, then I oil the length and do a top-of-head braid for the night. The next morning I wash my scalp area, then massage conditioner over the area I coconut oiled and let it marinate while I do everything else I wanted to do in the shower. Then I rinse while finger combing. This has been a good technique for me. Sometimes I buy a shampoo that doesn't work well, and that's the only time I use a diluted white vinegar rinse after washing, rinse, then condition. In general, though, vinegar makes my hair crazy fly-away, and I don't like it.

Oh - just had another thought. Perhaps your hair is curlier than you think and is trying to clump into curls, but you disturb the curl pattern by combing it. Try combing conditioner through your length in the shower, then let your hair dry naturally. Try to be still while it dries and don't mess it all around. You might find that you have beautiful spiral curls.

[Ilenora]

Thanks for the tips spidermom :) I tried just using coconut oil but I found it left my hair oily - in a bad way, like dirty greasy hair. I heard that ACV makes it easier to get the oil out so that's why I used it as well.

I do actually let my hair dry naturally without disturbing it every time I wash it. It doesn't have spiral curls.

[Panth]

The ACV helps to also act as a clarifying treatment, so it's always left my hair feeling incredibly light and silky.

Sorry to debunk, but ACV does not clarify. It may well make your hair feel nicer and more manageable, but it does not clarify.

~~~

I agree with the suggestion to clarify. Also, perhaps consider chelating to remove mineral build-up, especially if you have hard water or use well water.

If neither of those work, it may be that your hair just doesn't like your 'cone-free conditioner. Many peoples' hair doesn't do well with 'cone-free. Also, just because it's 'cone-free doesn't mean that it's is going to be the best for your hair - lots of 'cone-free conditioners are full of other coating ingredients that are prone to build up (e.g. polyquats, oils, certain herbal extracts).

[Ilenora]

Thanks Panth :) Looks like I need to track down a clarifying condition ASAP. I was hoping I could manage some kind of nice bun for an interview on Thursday, but looks like I'll have to go with a french braid.

I think we have soft water (rain water) but I could look into chelating.

[tigress86]

I agree with the advice already given. Seems like we have similar hair type and my hair has behaved exactly like this in the past and it has usually meant that I need to clarify. My hair also behaves like this sometimes when it needs more moisture and less protein. I would also recommend trying to go back to cones, if clarifying doesn't make much difference.

[lapushka]

I have about your hair type and only have it weekly detangled (right before & after a wash). Torrin's hair type is about 2b as well, I think, but she brushes the heck out of it so it is smoother. You can't compare these things. I don't brush or comb but use the heck out of silicone conditioners and smoothing agents. I get to keep my texture but there are zero tangles after the wash.

I think textured hair (2/3/4 category) does well with silicones of some sort. Just MO.

[Ilenora]

I should see if I can take a video of photo of the way my hair behaves. It's hard to describe and IDK if my description makes sense but anyway XD I'll see if a clarifying conditioner helps.

I would so love silky hair like Torrin's!

Just imagining a once-weekly detangling makes me shudder... the kind of knots I would get would probably end up with most of my hair cut off shudder:

[Arctic]

Clarifying shampoo was recommended,, not clarifying conditoner.

Welcome to LHC, also!

[Arctic]

Clarifying shampoo was recommended,, not clarifying conditoner.

Welcome to LHC, also!

[wanaberapunzel]

I am having the same problem, but my hair is thicker than ever. I don't want to do anything to it because this is the longest it has been growing ever since I went natural. Hopefully I can figure out something that wont damage my hair.:confused:

[Anje]

I'm agreeing with the recommendation to use a clarifying shampoo to really make sure you don't have buildup. Unlike normal shampooing, when you clarify you want to shampoo the hair all the way down to the ends, where most of the tangles are. (Normally, most longhairs find it's best to just shampoo the scalp and let some suds run down their hair when they rinse.)

If that doesn't do it.... I'm going to ask if you've got a protein-rich conditioner. Mine gets coarse and super tangly and just plain terrible if mine gets much protein, but it's quite silky if I stick to protein-free conditioners for my normal routine and make sure that my hair is getting lots of moisture in the form of humectants instead. (I'm a big fan of the SMT treatment for moisture -- enough so that I've got a link in my signature.) Now, different people's hair has different needs for protein, depending on the person and the hair's history, and mine happens to be off on one extreme for needing very little. Still, your problems sound like they might stem from protein overload, if clarifying doesn't fix it.

[pixiepaws]

Thanks for the tips spidermom :) I tried just using coconut oil but I found it left my hair oily - in a bad way, like dirty greasy hair. I heard that ACV makes it easier to get the oil out so that's why I used it as well.

I do actually let my hair dry naturally without disturbing it every time I wash it. It doesn't have spiral curls.

Have you tried using just a little bit of oil on damp hair after washing? I find coconut oil is not right for my hair but another oil might work for you.

[Ilenora]

Ah sorry, I'm a little dyslexic and get things mixed up XD Clarifying shampoo, of course.

I haven't had enough time to test out any other oils or things really. I don't want to use coconut oil after washing because our one smells pretty bad, and I don't have any nice smelling oils to add to it.

Protein isn't mentioned on any of our conditioners, Anje. Is there a way to find out the protein content if it doesn't particularly say 'protein rich'?

[Ilenora]

Oh, BTW, the sticky conditioner I put on my ends has worn off/been absorbed/whatever. Today is washing day so I'm going to switch back to the cony s&c and see how that goes. I tried a faux french braid, described in one of Torri's videos, and I'm quite pleased with it. It's much higher and tighter than a regular braid so I don't think it will tangle as much around my nape/neck/shoulder area.

[Anje]

Ah sorry, I'm a little dyslexic and get things mixed up XD Clarifying shampoo, of course.

I haven't had enough time to test out any other oils or things really. I don't want to use coconut oil after washing because our one smells pretty bad, and I don't have any nice smelling oils to add to it.

Protein isn't mentioned on any of our conditioners, Anje. Is there a way to find out the protein content if it doesn't particularly say 'protein rich'?

Check the ingredients. Proteins will be listed as ___ protein, ___ peptides, ___ amino acids, hydrolyzed ____, or a named protein like keratin or collagen. Lots of times they are helpful enough to advertise it, though: "Now with keratin complex!" or "Collagen thickening!" or "Enriched with soy milk proteins!" or similar.

[Ilenora]

Okay, I haven't checked the ingredients but the cone free s&c don't mention proteins on the label. The brand of cony s&c I'm using a the moment (Nature's Organics) says something along the lines of 'wheat protein boosters'.

I washed it yesterday and focused coconut oil on just the mid length to end, so I don't get that oily feel on top of my head (where there's probably plenty of natural oil, anyway). I skipped the ACV. I used the cony s&c instead of the cone free. I actually usually shampoo the entire length of my hair but I focused on the top half instead and tried to use less than usual (considering switching to conditioner-only). My hair was pretty easy to comb this morning. I don't have time to try a bun right now as it is my interview today but I'll see if I can try one this evening or tomorrow.