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MeAndTheMaz
March 27th, 2015, 12:18 PM
With apologies to CurlyCap and her fine thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=99139) over on the Friendship Board.

I don't have much of an introduction, so I'll just jump right in:

Why is it that when people "need a change", they take it out on their hair? Usually by chopping it off. Seen it here a few times. Someone gets bored, chops, then regrets.

Surely, there are many more less destructive ways of changing things up.

Timea
March 27th, 2015, 12:21 PM
I guess because it's the easiest thing to change. Just a snip or a bottle of hairdye and you can pretend you're a different person. but you feel the same on the inside anyway so it doesn't work.

brickworld13
March 27th, 2015, 12:24 PM
I have one and it will probably ruffle some feathers. Why is it that some people are afflicted with severe impatience about growing hair and give up in no time at all?

patienceneeded
March 27th, 2015, 12:41 PM
I have one and it will probably ruffle some feathers. Why is it that some people are afflicted with severe impatience about growing hair and give up in no time at all?

I blame the internet. :)

Robot Ninja
March 27th, 2015, 12:47 PM
I have one and it will probably ruffle some feathers. Why is it that some people are afflicted with severe impatience about growing hair and give up in no time at all?

Some people are afflicted with severe impatience about everything and give up in no time at all.

Fericera
March 27th, 2015, 12:59 PM
Probably because they're told that "hair will grow back" and as lots of people here know, everybody and their coworker's mother has an opinion on what would look best. It's the fastest most harmless thing to quickly change, and get some attention or feel good about their appearance.

It's too bad though because so many people get caught up in the dye>grow out attempt>unhappy with roots and damage>chop into trendy style>repeat type of cycle, and never are really happy with their hair. Everyone thinks their hair is ornery and difficult and won't grow, when the reality is that they need to get attuned to their hair type and its needs.



I have one and it will probably ruffle some feathers. Why is it that some people are afflicted with severe impatience about growing hair and give up in no time at all?

I think people are attuned to instant gratification nowadays (yes, I sound like a grandma) and want the results right away rather than enjoying the journey. Also, trends change quickly, and if you want to follow every trend, you're not going to end up with very long or healthy hair. It's just how it is.

Alaska98
March 27th, 2015, 01:16 PM
Some people are afflicted with severe impatience about everything and give up in no time at all.

:agree::waving: me lol

Fericera
March 27th, 2015, 01:28 PM
:agree::waving: me lol

Well your hair is lovely and seems to be happily growing so I'd say you're doing okay! :lol:

Off topic: I noticed we have the exact same number of posts, and same hair type! Hello almost LHC twin!

Rosetta
March 27th, 2015, 01:30 PM
Why is it that when people "need a change", they take it out on their hair? Usually by chopping it off. Seen it here a few times. Someone gets bored, chops, then regrets.

Surely, there are many more less destructive ways of changing things up.
Please name one...? :p Like Fericera said, hair is the fastest and most harmless thing to change quickly...


I think people are attuned to instant gratification nowadays (yes, I sound like a grandma) and want the results right away rather than enjoying the journey. Also, trends change quickly, and if you want to follow every trend, you're not going to end up with very long or healthy hair. It's just how it is.
This, very much.

AspenSong
March 27th, 2015, 01:46 PM
I think the change thing is totally about it being something that is less permanent to change. I've BEEN that person. After I cut my hair when it was at TBL into a shoulder length bob, it never got longer than nearly BSL once, for almost 5 years and it was color changing - even if just from blonde to brunette and back again. Why? I was 18-23 years old and every time I had issues with a friend, a guy, or I wanted to start working out or anything that in my mind was a "new start" - my hair was the easiest thing to mark that change with that wasn't something I had to deal with Forever. One of those times, I DID mark something happening with something pretty permanent - A tattoo. 11 years later, I'm figuring out how to save up to laser it off. Kinda now wish I'd just shaved my head or something. lol.

Chromis
March 27th, 2015, 02:08 PM
Please name one...? :p Like Fericera said, hair is the fastest and most harmless thing to change quickly...


When I wanted a change, I changed my appearance, but with clothing. Changing outfit styles is far more dramatic a change to me!

Putting on a suit is like donning a coat of armour to me and my Goth friends say the same of their spiky adornments. There is a world of difference between flowing hippie garb and blouse with pencil skirt to use an example of one direction I have changed in before.

Arctic
March 27th, 2015, 02:45 PM
Some people think, either consciously or subconsciously, that hair holds some sort of energy. When for example a relationship ends, the person with long hair might "cut the ex out of his/her life" by cutting her/his hair. Thus the cut would symbolize both a new beginning and fresh start, but also getting rid of some dark, negative energy.

neko_kawaii
March 27th, 2015, 02:50 PM
LOL, I was going to say changing clothes too. Can be changed multiple times a day even!

Make up, nail polish, jewelry, shoes, bags. All changeable. Perhaps, when the change is symbolic, such a clearly temporary chage is not enough, and hair is more significant because it takes significant time to grow, rather than a moment in a changing room.

molljo
March 27th, 2015, 04:46 PM
With apologies to CurlyCap and her fine thread (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=99139) over on the Friendship Board.

I don't have much of an introduction, so I'll just jump right in:

Why is it that when people "need a change", they take it out on their hair? Usually by chopping it off. Seen it here a few times. Someone gets bored, chops, then regrets.

Surely, there are many more less destructive ways of changing things up.

Well, I'm probably one of the most severe cases. Joining this community was actually one of the biggest factors in me beating this, as you aptly put it, destructive tendency. It's all tied, for me, to feelings of powerlessness and control. I also have a history of self-harm, if that helps to contextualize it. Bad and/or scary things happen, and I took those feelings of anxiety and pain out on myself. Something had to change. While it should have been the situations I was in, I was too crippled by fear to do that, so I cut my hair.

The flipside of that, where people are leaving/starting school or a job or are dealing with a breakup, they want something outward to say "I am a different person." Cutting off a lot of hair is the easiest and quickest way to say that.

So, bottom line, please don't judge those choppers too harshly.

Lady Mary
March 27th, 2015, 05:02 PM
I have one and it will probably ruffle some feathers. Why is it that some people are afflicted with severe impatience about growing hair and give up in no time at all?

^ Me, so me. I think my issue is going from chin to whatever length it stops being annoying. I am constantly wanting to cut it back to chin because it was so much easier. The in between stages are frustrating and depressing because everyone is always "Looks like you need a haircut!" or something to that effect because it's hard to have my hair look anything but messy during this time. It's also painful to put it up, but I force it anyway otherwise it would be down, in my face and look scraggly. It's very much impatience but also the other factors of looking professional/nice (vanity) and the annoyance of it being long enough to get in the way but not enough to style it (except for an uncomfortable claw clip.)

MeAndTheMaz
March 27th, 2015, 05:20 PM
Please name one...? :p Like Fericera said, hair is the fastest and most harmless thing to change quickly...

AspenSong and molljo. :D And many thanks to them for chiming in here before I got back, 'cause I had nuthin'. But I'm pretty sure I've seen it here a few times, people posting their regrets after chopping because they were bored. I can't cite any sources though. :(

I know a tattoo is more permanent that a hair cut, and that cutting is an instant change, but you'll be years growing back your hair. As others have said, change your clothes, get different colored lipstick or nail polish. Heck change the color of your hair.

It just seems like a foreign concept to me. Maybe I've never been bored enough to want a radical change.

molljo, I hope I didn't come off as judging. I certainly didn't mean to. I'm just curios.

molljo
March 27th, 2015, 05:27 PM
molljo, I hope I didn't come off as judging. I certainly didn't mean to. I'm just curios.

Don't worry about it! It was more of a general warning as opposed to directed at you specifically. It's a good rule of thumb to try to keep in mind that there tends to be underlying emotional issues lurking beneath seemingly incomprehensible actions.

Chromis
March 27th, 2015, 05:31 PM
Actually Maz, your question made me think a bit. I'm pretty sure I've never wanted to cut my hair after moving out/break ups/whatever because my mother/past boy friends/roomies were always trying to convince me to cut my hair! Or colour it or curl it or layer it or otherwise change it. No way I was going to give them the satisfaction! :demon:

Timea
March 27th, 2015, 05:35 PM
Probably because they're told that "hair will grow back"

well it's true, mine has grown back several times.

But I know what you mean, lots of people say to cut it to make it grow, but then they take a lot off and it does keep growing, but it'll take longer than it would have if we hadn't cut it.

Aurum
March 27th, 2015, 05:40 PM
Actually Maz, your question made me think a bit. I'm pretty sure I've never wanted to cut my hair after moving out/break ups/whatever because my mother/past boy friends/roomies were always trying to convince me to cut my hair! Or colour it or curl it or layer it or otherwise change it. No way I was going to give them the satisfaction! :demon:

I agree-- I see my hair as an extension of myself and as a comfort, not a carrier of bad juju.

mssummerrose
March 27th, 2015, 06:39 PM
I saw the name of this thread, and was hoping for some REALLY awkward questions! Like, who was the first person to put Monistat on their head, to discover it increases hair growth? And why?!?

Anje
March 27th, 2015, 07:08 PM
I saw the name of this thread, and was hoping for some REALLY awkward questions! Like, who was the first person to put Monistat on their head, to discover it increases hair growth? And why?!?

My understanding (as a person who has not applied Monistat to her head) is that it wasn't originally the head hair that people noticed was growing rapidly. ;)

meteor
March 27th, 2015, 07:12 PM
^ :spitting: LOL, you guys are killing me! :lol:

Robot Ninja
March 27th, 2015, 07:19 PM
My understanding (as a person who has not applied Monistat to her head) is that it wasn't originally the head hair that people noticed was growing rapidly. ;)

Okay, that actually makes sense, but isn't as funny as what I imagined: A member, gone slightly mad in her obsessive quest for ever-longer hair, tried putting everything in her house on her head to see if it would make her hair grow faster. There may have been a lab coat splattered with substances you don't want to ask about involved, and also some maniacal laughter.

chen bao jun
March 27th, 2015, 07:19 PM
When things are not going my way, what I do EVERY time is to gain a ton of weight. Like 30-50 Lbs. I've always taken it off again, but trust me, growing out a short haircut is easier than taking 40 lbs off.

Islandgrrl
March 27th, 2015, 07:51 PM
So, bottom line, please don't judge those choppers too harshly.

I don't judge choppers at all. Been there. I went from knee length to an impossibly short pixie in 15 minutes. And it totally solved my problem because my problem was my inability to deal with my hair. It worked for me until I was ready to grow it out again and commit to dealing with it no matter the circumstances because I wanted it to be long again. Nine years later, it's knee length again. Nine years. its a big commitment.

But...

If you want to chop your hair, fry it with bleach, color it, heat style it and/or otherwise abuse it, don't cry to me that it won't grow. I support and respect your right to do any and all of those things with your hair. It's YOUR HAIR (you is a generic term, by the way, I'm not directing any of this towards any individual). I just think that if you are going to do all that stuff to your hair, own it. Don't whine to me and tell me you could NEVER grow your hair as long as mine because it just doesn't grow, or that you're going to get extensions until your hair gets to whatever imagined length is perfect. If you really, truly want long hair you have to commit to it. You have to be steadfast in your resolve to not cave in to whatever the trend is, or whatver your mother/sister/boyfriend/coworker thinks about long hair and what would look good on you. It's YOUR HAIR. Grow it or don't, but be happy with it.

ETA: sorry for the rant. Strong feelings about this.

Colochita
March 27th, 2015, 08:01 PM
When I'm going through bad spots, I try to change my personality. I engage myself in lots of different activities to distract myself from the problem and I try to socialize with more people and stay out of my home so I don't have time to sit and be angry/sad/frustrated.

I doubt I will ever cut my hair because I'm upset just since it takes Forever to grow and I know it would hurt me. I might cut it for other reasons, like being tired of it, but I doubt I ever will because of something else.

Also no judgment to those who choose to cut their hair instead. To each his or her own. :)

Sterlyn
March 27th, 2015, 08:58 PM
MeAndTheMaz I think it's a female thing, one that I have personally done more times that I care to remember. I have never known a male who does this with his hair, but most of them keep it short. Sometimes it was about a change and a new start but most of the time for me personally, it was more like maniacal stress chopping, coloring or bleaching. Whenever I got stressed about something I usually took it out on my hair.

Once my now DH, then fiance was deployed by the military for 2 months, tons of stress and upheaval. About 2 days after he left I decided I had to chop my hair. I just started snipping away and went from shoulder to chin length. Regrets? you betcha, the next day I'm like "why the hell did I do that to my hair??" :whip: I have a lot of sympathy for the problem but not any real answers to offer behind what drives it. Obviously I've gotten a handle on it, at some point I turned a corner in my mind and my hair's length has become too important to me to throw away in a moment of stress or frustration, I remember how long it took to get here.

ETA: Islandgrrl I didn't think your last paragraph was a rant at all, it was simply stating the truth and I agreed with it 100%. :applause

endlessly
March 27th, 2015, 09:02 PM
I think it's just because it's easy. And, if someone is really looking for that drastic change, a new haircut is always a guaranteed way to get attention.

chen bao jun
March 27th, 2015, 09:02 PM
I have a friend whose husband hides the scissors, she stress chops so often.
and he prefers short hair.
thankfully

Fericera
March 27th, 2015, 09:39 PM
Okay, that actually makes sense, but isn't as funny as what I imagined: A member, gone slightly mad in her obsessive quest for ever-longer hair, tried putting everything in her house on her head to see if it would make her hair grow faster. There may have been a lab coat splattered with substances you don't want to ask about involved, and also some maniacal laughter.

This made me laugh! :lol: I'm sure it's not too far from reality though. Sometimes when I'm in the grocery store I'll see some energy protein drink or random spice and think "I wonder what this would do to my hair..."

CurlyCap
March 28th, 2015, 12:31 AM
CurlyCap definitely approves of the thread. No apologies needed. Let's hope it lives an equally long and healthy life.

As for chopping, as a person who has done so: I chop because taking care of my hair can no longer be a priority; I get sick of worrying about it. When I'm stressed, the last thing I wanted to do was carefully consider conditioners, careful detangling, and preventing breakage. So off it goes! And then when life gets a bit more reasonable, and I have the luxury of taking care of my hair....then I grow it out again.

kitschy
March 28th, 2015, 12:33 AM
Oh I definitely stress chop. I got my hair cut to 2" all over on my honeymoon 30 years ago. I can't believe DH stayed with me. Then I grew it into wild 80's big hair until my 17 year old daughter got pregnant, and I just hated my life and my husband - I shaved it off! I never grew it past BSL until I joined LHC where I got tons of encouragement to grow to hip length, then due to stress I cut again to shoulder length last summer. Will I ever LEARN???

Rosetta
March 28th, 2015, 03:42 AM
I know a tattoo is more permanent that a hair cut, and that cutting is an instant change, but you'll be years growing back your hair. As others have said, change your clothes, get different colored lipstick or nail polish. Heck change the color of your hair.
That's what I've usually done, never been a chopper myself (but a former dye-addict, yes) ;) I included changing colour in the "changing hair" category (though probably forgot to state it).


LOL, I was going to say changing clothes too. Can be changed multiple times a day even!

Make up, nail polish, jewelry, shoes, bags. All changeable. Perhaps, when the change is symbolic, such a clearly temporary change is not enough, and hair is more significant because it takes significant time to grow, rather than a moment in a changing room.
Yeah, clothes are changed every day, so it's not really something to mark a bigger change, should one want that ;)

butter52
March 28th, 2015, 06:28 AM
Im sorry but why is chopping and hair changing something bad? I know many people on LHC want their hair long and some go to the point to relating their hair lenght to their hapiness ( which i find very unheamthy but o well).
But many people enjoy hair as a decirative piece that happens to grow so you can have fun with it or do what you need to not deal with it.

I think the intrresting question is not why people chop their hair ( because its non permanent, non painful and fun), but why some people get so upset after a hair change (unless it is a bad cut, where the answer is obvious).

Sorry about the really bad spelling, phone not being cooperative

epicrosie
March 28th, 2015, 07:15 AM
Im sorry but why is chopping and hair changing something bad? I know many people on LHC want their hair long and some go to the point to relating their hair lenght to their hapiness ( which i find very unheamthy but o well).
But many people enjoy hair as a decirative piece that happens to grow so you can have fun with it or do what you need to not deal with it.

I think the intrresting question is not why people chop their hair ( because its non permanent, non painful and fun), but why some people get so upset after a hair change (unless it is a bad cut, where the answer is obvious).

Sorry about the really bad spelling, phone not being cooperative

I think with the reason why some people don't like a hair cut afterwards is because the hair cut generally changes their face/appearance and it comes as a bit of a shock. Remember that for example they will have been growing their hair for a few years and in less than an hour its all gone, all that work and patience. They most of the time don't mind the idea of the cut at the time but then suddenly realise "oh I can't do this bun anymore" or "it doesn't look as good" so then realise that it takes all that time again and it feels a lot longer this time round.

neko_kawaii
March 28th, 2015, 07:50 AM
There is always a shock in looking in the mirror and seeing someone who looks strikingly different than what you are used to seeing. I have the same experience with clothing styles outside my norm or a new pair of glasses. I always love the frames I pick out in the optometrists but once they have been fitted with lenses and come home with me there are a couple weeks of "what was I thinking?!" Before I get used to them and during that time I have to keep reminding myself that I really liked them, they were the best I tried on, I wanted something different from my old style for xyz reasons, but there is still that momentary surprise in the mirror of "who is that, oh, that's me" to get past. A hair cut, or even a significantly different hair style will do the same as evidenced by the number of people who are accustomed to seeing themselves with their longhair down and can't stand the way it looks when up.

That is what is meant above by changing clothes too. Yes, you change your clothes everyday, but you can completely change your look through clothes and throw yourself outside your comfort zone and obtain the same response of "who is that, oh that's me." When I'm feeling wild and reckless, I go to the thrift store and find a five dollar item I could never imagine myself wearing and try it on. It's amazing fun to do this with a close friend you can laugh with.

MINAKO
March 28th, 2015, 07:58 AM
What s wrong with buying new shoes and a lipstick when someone needs a change. For gods sake, get some lash extension if its really bad but dont chop your hair in a rush unless its indeed a mindful choice to make the style match your esthetics.
I only big chopped once in my life because of severe damage and actually liked my hair short for a while sinceit was so much of a relief. It good to know that short hair suits me, but even if someone breaks up with me, i loose my job and my entire family and friends disappear on the same day i wouldnt see a reason to take out the distress on my hair.

As for the impatience, buy a wig, or some extensions or even get a weave if your hair and scalp can take it, but nagging and measuring wont make hair grow faster or time pass quicker. Im happy to have missed out on most of my growth journey by simply not thinking about what i want and wear it up all the time until one day i straightened it and noticed im already MBL.

Charybdis
March 28th, 2015, 08:00 AM
I don't judge choppers at all. Been there. I went from knee length to an impossibly short pixie in 15 minutes. And it totally solved my problem because my problem was my inability to deal with my hair. It worked for me until I was ready to grow it out again and commit to dealing with it no matter the circumstances because I wanted it to be long again. Nine years later, it's knee length again. Nine years. its a big commitment.

But...

If you want to chop your hair, fry it with bleach, color it, heat style it and/or otherwise abuse it, don't cry to me that it won't grow. I support and respect your right to do any and all of those things with your hair. It's YOUR HAIR (you is a generic term, by the way, I'm not directing any of this towards any individual). I just think that if you are going to do all that stuff to your hair, own it. Don't whine to me and tell me you could NEVER grow your hair as long as mine because it just doesn't grow, or that you're going to get extensions until your hair gets to whatever imagined length is perfect. If you really, truly want long hair you have to commit to it. You have to be steadfast in your resolve to not cave in to whatever the trend is, or whatver your mother/sister/boyfriend/coworker thinks about long hair and what would look good on you. It's YOUR HAIR. Grow it or don't, but be happy with it.

ETA: sorry for the rant. Strong feelings about this.

^^ Quoted for truth!

I've cut my hair from waist to pixie in the past, and LOVED it. I've enjoyed having super-short hair, I've enjoyed dying my hair red, etc., etc. But when I did those things, I knew I wasn't going to be able to do them AND magically have really long, healthy hair a few months later. You have to decide what aspect of your hair you want to enjoy, and behave accordingly. All that said, there's nothing wrong with cutting/dying/perming hair for a change! It just depends on how you feel about the aftermath.

Here's an awkward hair question: how do wavy-haired people with frizz *really* feel about their frizz? I have an absolute ton of short terminal-length frizzy "halo" hairs around my hairline at the forehead, and I HATE THEM. They don't have an even enough curl pattern to be moisturized into cute tiny curls, they're not long enough to stay put in an updo, they're too springy to stay stuck down effectively with gel or wax if there's any breeze at all, and they refrizz instantly on contact with moisture if they are blow-dried (which they never are, because I'm lazy). They're not damaged, they're just uncontrollable. And they're really obvious because the majority of my hair is 2b and doesn't look all that curly when long.

I keep joking that I'm going to try to make a giant frizz halo into a fashion trend, but I don't think I have the social media cachet for that. :p

So, if you have an uncontrollable frizz halo that has a life of its own separate from the rest of your hair, what do you do? Have you learned to love it? Have you reached a place of acceptance? That which you cannot control and learning to tell the difference, and all that? I'm curious here.

neko_kawaii
March 28th, 2015, 08:11 AM
The frizz halo reminded me of a story my mom tells. My mom has coarse curly hair and when she was in high school one of her friends sitting behind her in math class was caught drawing my moms fizzy halo and for punishment the teacher made the artist finish the drawing with as much accuracy and detail as possible and then calculate how many hairs my mom had on her head.

My mother never appeared to pay much mind to her hair. There are certainly measures that can be taken to control frizz, but it is up to the wearer to determine if the effort is worth it to them. I put my hair up in the morning and some days I catch sight of it at the end of the day before I've taken it down and laugh at how much of it is ticking out all over the place before I take it down for the night. I simply can't be bothered to put any extra energy into trying to contain it, but should someone else want to for their own hair, much advice can be found around here.

Rosetta
March 28th, 2015, 08:18 AM
That is what is meant above by changing clothes too. Yes, you change your clothes everyday, but you can completely change your look through clothes and throw yourself outside your comfort zone and obtain the same response of "who is that, oh that's me."
Ah, I think this explains my (former) dye addiction quite well - it's such an exhilarating feeling to look into mirror after dyeing and go "who is that, oh that's me"... It's addictive.

Sterlyn
March 28th, 2015, 08:24 AM
Im sorry but why is chopping and hair changing something bad? I know many people on LHC want their hair long and some go to the point to relating their hair lenght to their hapiness ( which i find very unheamthy but o well).
But many people enjoy hair as a decirative piece that happens to grow so you can have fun with it or do what you need to not deal with it.

I think the intrresting question is not why people chop their hair ( because its non permanent, non painful and fun), but why some people get so upset after a hair change (unless it is a bad cut, where the answer is obvious).

Sorry about the really bad spelling, phone not being cooperative

I agree that changing hair; cutting, dye, perm, straightening etc, hair is an important part of self esteem and what makes us feel good about ourselves, it doesn't matter what length or color that ends up being it's very personal for each of us. And to echo Islandgrrl's thoughts again, I respect and support everyone's right to do what they want with their hair. My issues with my own hair antics revolve around the fact that when I do it 90% of the time that I did a drastic change it was done impulsively, without thought and usually in the opposite direction of where my hair tastes run to. The aftermath was usually something I spent many months hating.

Charybdis
March 28th, 2015, 08:37 AM
My mother never appeared to pay much mind to her hair. There are certainly measures that can be taken to control frizz, but it is up to the wearer to determine if the effort is worth it to them. I put my hair up in the morning and some days I catch sight of it at the end of the day before I've taken it down and laugh at how much of it is ticking out all over the place before I take it down for the night. I simply can't be bothered to put any extra energy into trying to contain it, but should someone else want to for their own hair, much advice can be found around here.

I generally can't be bothered to put much effort into it either, but occasionally when I have a job interview or an important professional meeting with someone who doesn't work with me regularly and will judge me on first impressions, it's very annoying. Temporary containment can be achieved with blow-drying the offending hairs and using gel or wax, but it's very temporary and I have to carry styling product in my handbag to reapply in the restroom after going outside. Unfortunately, after trying every frizz remedy imaginable, and believe me I've read extensively on this site about how to handle frizz, the only thing that seems to work is a little bit of heat (this happens about once or twice a quarter, and is just me using a blowdryer on the short hairs around the hairline), plus styling product.

I'm trying to reach a place of acceptance, because there's no way I'm doing that crap every day. But I'd love to hear if there's anyone who has learned to love their uncontrolled frizz halo! (And, if so, what you like about it.)

Robot Ninja
March 28th, 2015, 08:52 AM
Here's an awkward hair question: how do wavy-haired people with frizz *really* feel about their frizz? I have an absolute ton of short terminal-length frizzy "halo" hairs around my hairline at the forehead, and I HATE THEM. They don't have an even enough curl pattern to be moisturized into cute tiny curls, they're not long enough to stay put in an updo, they're too springy to stay stuck down effectively with gel or wax if there's any breeze at all, and they refrizz instantly on contact with moisture if they are blow-dried (which they never are, because I'm lazy). They're not damaged, they're just uncontrollable. And they're really obvious because the majority of my hair is 2b and doesn't look all that curly when long.

I keep joking that I'm going to try to make a giant frizz halo into a fashion trend, but I don't think I have the social media cachet for that. :p

So, if you have an uncontrollable frizz halo that has a life of its own separate from the rest of your hair, what do you do? Have you learned to love it? Have you reached a place of acceptance? That which you cannot control and learning to tell the difference, and all that? I'm curious here.

I have come to accept my frizz as the price of being a wavy-straight. I used to gel it down but since I'm CO-washing and using a BBB I don't do that anymore. I will probably never have those lovely, defined, well-behaved waves that some members have, and while sometimes I wish I could, I am really not in a place where I can try a zillion products hoping one of them will be The One. I don't have the money for one, and I don't want to have to wash more frequently.

truepeacenik
March 28th, 2015, 09:35 AM
Ahem, as someone who decided a much needed change was to dread my waist length hair, I can speak to this, some.
I have always used my hair as a sign of outsider status.
Being a follicle red helps. Because growing up red and attending public school is such fun in the US.
Kids are so sweet to those with differences, across the board.
Cough.

I was hacked off at the boss, knew I could not be fired for this change, as I'd keep it under a tam at meetings, etc.
So one long night, I backcombed every inch of my head. There may or may not have been rip and twists involved.
There was waaaaay too much caffeine involved.
When the morning came, I sauntered over to "ask the stuffing crew a question." (It was my day off)
I heard him screaming two rooms before he arrived.
I held up the law, and the employment agreement.
And walked out.

The next day, I arrived at the office before anyone else, and with a scarf neatly tied over my hair.
It stayed that way for about two months.

I finally decided that a full head wasn't wise, as I was starting to look for employment elsewhere.
The next weekend was a marathon detangling session that cost me several inches of hair. Waist to mid back.
But I kept a cluster around my right ear, where I already had hair wraps (the embroidery floss type), so a few pencil dreads wasn't that big of a deal.

Having a drastic change was invigorating.
I'm not sure lipstick or heels would have done that, internally.
Likely I would have just twisted my ankles repeatedly.



So my awkward question,
Why do those who dye their hair a natural red (not a candy red) suddenly think they "are redheads?"
If I get a permanent it doesn't make me a curly girl.
And wearing a kimono won't make me Japanese.
I see dye as pretty much the same, as there is a redhead culture.

Not so much the henna heads here, but I'm thinking of another site I'm on.
The suicide reds (dyed by their own hand) think they are suddenly just like those of us with childhoods full of taunts and recent reminders like kick a ginger day.
No, just no.


Henna heads seem to be developing a new culture of their own, and I think that is very cool.

Lady Mary
March 28th, 2015, 09:42 AM
Being a follicle red helps. Because growing up red and attending public school is such fun in the US.
Kids are so sweet to those with differences, across the board.
Cough.

Ugh, yes, I feel you here. My hair was kind of a Dana Scully red growing up, I dyed it after high school because I was sick of the abuse/taunts/assumptions over it. Sometime down the line, my hair got significantly darker, it's kind of a dark brownish now with red highlights. I'm growing it out now so I am not sure of the color but it's definitely darker. I kind of miss the color it was but the harassment was just too much at the time for me to deal with.

Calaelen
March 28th, 2015, 11:23 AM
The frizz halo reminded me of a story my mom tells. My mom has coarse curly hair and when she was in high school one of her friends sitting behind her in math class was caught drawing my moms fizzy halo and for punishment the teacher made the artist finish the drawing with as much accuracy and detail as possible and then calculate how many hairs my mom had on her head.
I am a visual person, and clearly saw this story. Then you didn't continue! I wanted the full short film..lol. How many hairs did the student guess?? what happened to the drawing? What did your monther think of the whole thing. Sorry, but I loved this story.

ETA: Re: Monistat, I am sure I read years ago that the first person had scalp issues, and tried it to get rid of dandruff, or sebhoric dermatitis, and that it did help, but that the growth was VERY obvious, and that is how it became "A thing".

neko_kawaii
March 28th, 2015, 01:46 PM
I am a visual person, and clearly saw this story. Then you didn't continue! I wanted the full short film..lol. How many hairs did the student guess?? what happened to the drawing? What did your monther think of the whole thing. Sorry, but I loved this story.

ETA: Re: Monistat, I am sure I read years ago that the first person had scalp issues, and tried it to get rid of dandruff, or sebhoric dermatitis, and that it did help, but that the growth was VERY obvious, and that is how it became "A thing".

LOL, my mother was both horrified by the depiction of her frizz and amused. It may have helped her accept that her hair the way it was. There was a number that went along with the story but I don't remember what it was.

Unicorn
March 28th, 2015, 02:59 PM
Im sorry but why is chopping and hair changing something bad? I know many people on LHC want their hair long and some go to the point to relating their hair lenght to their hapiness ( which i find very unheamthy but o well).
But many people enjoy hair as a decirative piece that happens to grow so you can have fun with it or do what you need to not deal with it.

I think the intrresting question is not why people chop their hair ( because its non permanent, non painful and fun), but why some people get so upset after a hair change (unless it is a bad cut, where the answer is obvious).

Sorry about the really bad spelling, phone not being cooperative

It's only bad if you regret it after doing it in the heat of the moment or your short term wish, sabotages your long term wish.

I've been growing my locks for 9 years now and I still have days when I want short hair or lose hair. I sold my hair scissors on the swap board to avoid giving in to temptation because for every day I want short hair there are a hundred in which I prefer my locks.

Unicorn

MeAndTheMaz
March 28th, 2015, 10:44 PM
:scissors:
Not so much the henna heads here, but I'm thinking of another site I'm on.
The suicide reds (dyed by their own hand) think they are suddenly just like those of us with childhoods full of taunts and recent reminders like kick a ginger day.
No, just no.



Is "ginger" a less than flattering name for redheads? I'm not sure on this one. I can't imagine it would be, but I can see how it could be.

ETA: Maybe it's in who's saying it and how it's being said?

kidari
March 28th, 2015, 11:30 PM
Why is it that when people "need a change", they take it out on their hair? Usually by chopping it off. Seen it here a few times. Someone gets bored, chops, then regrets.

Surely, there are many more less destructive ways of changing things up.

I think it's because hair is kind of a permanent thing that defines who you are. It's the first thing people see when they look at you and your hair color, texture, length, and style places you into various stereotypes. Wouldn't you say that you got different treatment when you wear your hair up and then one day you wear it down and styled? I think when some event happens in your life, at some level you understand that people will view you different and society will treat you accordingly based on what your appearance is (which is largely defined by hair). Many conservative work places do not allow unnatural hair colors and this can explain why a lot of rebellious people, "punks," "misfits," whatever boldly choose to wear hair that is not socially acceptable. At some level how someone chooses to wear their hair reflects who they are in that time.

If you want to change your hair in a way that doesn't damage it or have permanent repercussions, you can just change the texture or updo. Wear braids instead of buns, do a voluminous romantic flower bun, or a sleek neat chignon. I know that I can have a change simply by wearing a poufy topknot with my bangs all tucked into it or with my face framing layers out (set in a large roller for that heat styled look) and changing the position of the bun from the top of my head to the nape of my neck. Heat free curls are another option and half up styles offer versatility when wearing your hair down as well.

Rosetta
March 29th, 2015, 03:07 AM
So my awkward question,
Why do those who dye their hair a natural red (not a candy red) suddenly think they "are redheads?"
If I get a permanent it doesn't make me a curly girl.
And wearing a kimono won't make me Japanese.
I see dye as pretty much the same, as there is a redhead culture.

Not so much the henna heads here, but I'm thinking of another site I'm on.
The suicide reds (dyed by their own hand) think they are suddenly just like those of us with childhoods full of taunts and recent reminders like kick a ginger day.
No, just no.
Well, those who dye their hair red are redheads in the sense that it's their current hair colour... But I'm not sure where the childhood taunting comes in, and how would you know if people consider themselves as "childhood redheads"..? :confused: And I think that depends also on your cultural surroundings, because where I grew up redheads (the very few of them that can be found) weren't taunted... To my knowledge at least.

I have both hennaed and dyed my hair red in the past, but have never considered myself as a "childhood redhead" with taunts from that etc., it didn't even enter my mind... So I guess that's why I'm a bit baffled by this question.

hanne jensen
March 29th, 2015, 05:50 AM
To chime in on the redhead debate, my naturally auburn hair is turning a russet color and I'm not doing a single thing to it. No henna, no haircolor, no kool-aid, nothing. I haven't moved so it's not the water. Old age, maybe? My friends are accusing me of coloring my hair. I do have silvers in my hair and I love them. Am I turning into a redhead?

My other awkward question is, why does everyone assume that fine haired people have thin hair? My hair is baby fine but I have a lot of them on my head. Whenever I am in shops to buy light conditioners I explain to the salesperson that I have very fine hair. They look at me and always say no you don't. Hmm.

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 09:02 AM
A real redhead calling out a dyed redhead for not having lived through the same expirience doesnt make sense to me. Its the same thing as if a black person would do that over the matter of cornrows or an afro. Or white people accusing asians of wanting to be western as soon as they dye rtheir hair blonde. What kind of cultural aspect is this? Everyone may or may not have been bullied for a certain personal feature. That does not make their taunts any more valid and therefore gives them a higher right to claim this or that imho. Especially since its kind of easy to immitate a natural red and make it look convincing, i dont mind if someone got there by genetics, henna or box color as long as they like the results.

butter52
March 29th, 2015, 10:12 AM
A real redhead calling out a dyed redhead for not having lived through the same expirience doesnt make sense to me. Its the same thing as if a black person would do that over the matter of cornrows or an afro. Or white people accusing asians of wanting to be western as soon as they dye rtheir hair blonde. What kind of cultural aspect is this? Everyone may or may not have been bullied for a certain personal feature. That does not make their taunts any more valid and therefore gives them a higher right to claim this or that imho. Especially since its kind of easy to immitate a natural red and make it look convincing, i dont mind if someone got there by genetics, henna or box color as long as they like the results.

I agree. I think it is litte bit petty to go into childish disscussions like "but you are not a real redhead". Red head is having redish hair, by definition. Dose not include how, why or any childhood implications nor culture.

Mimha
March 29th, 2015, 11:44 AM
(...)
So my awkward question,
Why do those who dye their hair a natural red (not a candy red) suddenly think they "are redheads?"
If I get a permanent it doesn't make me a curly girl.
And wearing a kimono won't make me Japanese.
I see dye as pretty much the same, as there is a redhead culture.

Not so much the henna heads here, but I'm thinking of another site I'm on.
The suicide reds (dyed by their own hand) think they are suddenly just like those of us with childhoods full of taunts and recent reminders like kick a ginger day.
No, just no.


I understand your feelings, truepeacenik. For me, there is indeed a tremendous difference between the fact of bearing red hair (blond, black, afro, etc.) by choice - because you find it beautiful, cool, or just to enjoy a little bit of provocation - and the fact of being so by nature, in your genes, and knowing that you will transmit it to your children. Being a red head by nature is a non-chosen fact. You may love it and be proud of it. But you may also suffer from it and consider it a doom. I think it rather naive (not to say arrogant) to judge somebody's feelings on the matter. Being a red head by nature (or whatever else) IS different than being it by choice, once an adult. A red head child has no choice.

If I had to find an example of a different sort, I would say the difference is exactly the same as the difference between somebody who has decided to fast (for health or spiritual reasons) and somebody who starves because he has just no food to eat. Both don't eat. But one has chosen not to eat (and therefore feels good from it) and the other one can't avoid staying with an empty stomach. As a regular faster myself, and as an ex-humanitarian worker, I can tell you that starving has nothing to do with fasting. It's not because I'm fasting (when I need or enjoy to) that I'm naive enough to believe that I know what a starving person feels like.

OK, my example is a little extreme^^ but I think you have got my point. :)

neko_kawaii
March 29th, 2015, 11:54 AM
The experiences of being a redhead also extend to the families of redheads and children are cruel.

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 12:09 PM
I see how people always percieve their own difficulties as the most intense, but that doesn't give them any right on their part to claim originality on something as superficial as haircolor, feels threatened by othres who intentionally choose to look similar and tell them to back off from using a certain term to describe themselves. None of their business at all.
The comparison with starving people does not quite apply in my opinion.
Now, i'm flat chested, if i get my boobs done to a DD-cup then thats what it is. Not that i want a bigger rack, lol. But you get what im trying to say.

neko_kawaii
March 29th, 2015, 12:21 PM
I see how people always percieve their own difficulties as the most intense, but that doesn't give them any right on their part to claim originality on something as superficial as haircolor, feels threatened by othres who intentionally choose to look similar and tell them to back off from using a certain term to describe themselves. None of their business at all.
The comparison with starving people does not quite apply in my opinion.
Now, i'm flat chested, if i get my boobs done to a DD-cup then thats what it is. Not that i want a bigger rack, lol. But you get what im trying to say.

I don't see anyone feeling threatened by others dying their hair. The experiences of children who are redheaded and the experiences of children who have redheaded family members are quite different because of the red hair color that they did not choose. I was abused by my classmates because my mother has red hair. She had no soul, as her offspring I had no soul and their actions were the will of God. Was I to dye her hair to escape the abuse?

These are unfortunately not isolated experiences. Children do not, in general dye their hair natural shades of red. The experience of dyed redheads is going to be different from that of natural redheads.

Arctic
March 29th, 2015, 12:24 PM
In Finland natural red hair is admired and coveted quality. Move here, you all :D

Mimha
March 29th, 2015, 12:25 PM
I see how people always percieve their own difficulties as the most intense, but that doesn't give them any right on their part to claim originality on something as superficial as haircolor, feels threatened by othres who intentionally choose to look similar and tell them to back off from using a certain term to describe themselves. None of their business at all.
The comparison with starving people does not quite apply in my opinion.
Now, i'm flat chested, if i get my boobs done to a DD-cup then thats what it is. Not that i want a bigger rack, lol. But you get what im trying to say.

Lol. I don't feel that red heads (or big-boobed ladies) will feel "threatened" by fake ones^^. Why would they, if they are already "blessed" by nature ?? What I want to say is that nobody can judge the sufferance of a big-boob girl or a red head (if she suffers from it) because one has freely chosen to have silicone or henna. If you chose something, it means you like it. You have the choice. And you are an adult. And if you encounter nasty comments, you don't feel rejected for what you are, like a kid... because you are not. Grasp the nuance ?

I think we are not talking about the same thing. A lot of girls move around with extensions, and their hair looks thicker and longer than mine (it's an example). Should I feel competed by somebody who has to fake herself to look like me ? Lol. Well I guess some people may feel competed. But like you say, one cannot stop the others from faking themselves if they want it. ^^

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 12:35 PM
Obviously they do in some cases. Maybe its because it wont be a rare thing to see anymore if other people look like natural reds too. But critisize them for it because they appreciate the color and at the same time also critisize the ones who make fun of it? Uhmm, well... looks like alot of unnecessary negativity to me.

Rosetta
March 29th, 2015, 12:40 PM
I see how people always percieve their own difficulties as the most intense, but that doesn't give them any right on their part to claim originality on something as superficial as haircolor, feels threatened by othres who intentionally choose to look similar and tell them to back off from using a certain term to describe themselves. None of their business at all.
Have to say I mostly agree...

JadedByEntropy
March 29th, 2015, 12:43 PM
i understand completely. I'm sorry people are so cruel.
My red-head natural friends get accused of coloring a lot, and have been told all kinds of mean things like it didn't 'suit' them. I've had all kinds of colors, but i've never claimed to be something i'm not. Its really common with blonds too, because so many won't admit they bleach.
its one of the most obnoxious personality types..

Mimha
March 29th, 2015, 12:52 PM
Minako, I feel terribly competed by your sumptuous NATURAL hair... :mad:
This is the worst doom : I can't even pretend it's fake !!! :justy:

:alcoholic: :alcoholic:

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 01:46 PM
Hahaha, thank you! It looks like you got a whole lot of awesome waves going on yourself tho. :)
I wish mine would fall like that. I'm an unruly 2a and have to admit i use heat whenever i wear it down.

butter52
March 29th, 2015, 04:48 PM
I think what shocked some of us is was relating people who dye their head read to people that are not good enough to be redheads because they didnt suffer so when they where children, and are trying to be part of that.
Maybe I underestood it wrong and maybe that other forum has very weird readheads, but you can see how it can be interpreted excluding and petty.

Again, this is internet and things can be underestood differently because of the writing but in the starving metaphor it feels like saying "people on ramadan are not really hungry and they are just trying to be like us that where hungry children". Kinda shocking.

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 05:40 PM
I think its fantastic to take pride in something that a person might have been bullied for as a kind and finally be confident enough to see the actual beauty in it, regardless of incidents in the past. But i dont think this good feeling increases by making another person feel bad about themselves in their choice of being a dyed redhead (or whatever certain hair feature is intended to achieve). Its passing on the negativity that was given in the first place. Just because the person did not naturally grow that hair does not mean they cant be sensitive about it.
If i wanted to be blonde because i think its pretty on me and blonde girls everywhere would tell me im not one of them, a knock off, or trying hard to look more western, blah... i would personally not give half a ****, but other people might feel different and probably struggling with something about their appearance any other way. Its ok for everyone to like and present themselves the way they want.

ooglipoo
March 29th, 2015, 06:47 PM
Today I Learned: Neko_kawaii's Mother has red hair! I never knew. Of the times I've pictured Neko's mom (upon reading neko's blog, seeing neko's Mothers artwork, and receiving a piece of it, myself, I don't just randomly picture all y'alls Moms... that would be weird), it was never, ever, ever, with red hair. Huh!

neko_kawaii
March 29th, 2015, 06:59 PM
Today I Learned: Neko_kawaii's Mother has red hair! I never knew. Of the times I've pictured Neko's mom (upon reading neko's blog, seeing neko's Mothers artwork, and receiving a piece of it, myself, I don't just randomly picture all y'alls Moms... that would be weird), it was never, ever, ever, with red hair. Huh!

Ha! How is this possible? I talk about my mom's red hair ALL the time. My dream hair!

ooglipoo
March 29th, 2015, 07:06 PM
I don't know. Nothing gets by me! :rollin:

That's pretty lovely that your Mom's hair is your dream hair! :crush: My Nana's was red and wavy, kinda like mine, but more red. If only... I think those frizzy-wizzy reds are THE BEST if you ask me!

neko_kawaii
March 29th, 2015, 07:11 PM
Ok, took some work but I found the blog post and comments (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/entry.php?b=111676) that has good pictures of her hair both now (long and browned) and long ago (crazy curly and bright).

MINAKO
March 29th, 2015, 07:43 PM
Thats so sweet Neko. Your mom has awesome lion hair, explains your username, sort of, hehe. Yeah, i think our moms subconciously have a big influence on how we percieve esthetics later in life.
Whe i was little my mom had long darkbrown hair, always very straight and in a middle part. I envied her hair back then and now mine roundabout looks the same, just a bit darker and longer.

ooglipoo
March 29th, 2015, 08:36 PM
Very cool! Thanks for sharing. Her hair is STUNNING! Both now and then...

My Nana's red hair went grey in the back and white in the front.

Mine's just lost it's reddish and is now going brown, too! At least I still have red from the shoudlers down! But it'll grow out soon enough.

truepeacenik
March 29th, 2015, 11:05 PM
Ok, seems a lot of people got bemused by my question. This is the awkward questions, hair edition, here.

I'm specifically referring to a different, non hair centered forum. Not here.
The scenario goes something like this:
Poster: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! I just dyed my hair with (whatever) and I'm now a real red head! Just wanted you to know I'm one of you now!!!!!
(Usually with excessive misspellings)
(Two days later, no answers)
Poster: well, I guess I'm just too awesome for you. (Degenerates into calling us lovely name that sound like itch, door and jut)
(Group owner usually closes thread at this point.)
Meanwhile, Poster is attempting to hijack, oh a mascara thread (all about browns, you know)
Poster: hiiiiiiiii, I dyed my hair a couple days ago and I don't see why you can't just wear black.
Response: because it's too stark for my skin tone.
Poster: but it looks good on me!
(Someone eventually suggests that tan people probably are able to rock black mascara)
Poster: you all are excluding those of us who dye our hair. (Proceeds to speak for people who were born red and faded, changed or otherwise dyed over red tones. She has been clear that she was never red in one of the other six threads she started while the dye was still on her head. She's very excited, and that part is cool)

What I don't get is this seeming need to be "accepted as a redhead."
Honestly, from her pic, if she'd been quiet about the dye, most would think she was accenting, not changing, color. It was well done, for sure.
Why tell, and then demand to get the secret handshake, or whatever we weren't giving her?
(I wonder the same thing about "vegetarians who eat chicken.")

then again, it is the Internet, and like a zoo, someone will fling poop at some point.

CurlyCap
March 29th, 2015, 11:28 PM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?

Aurum
March 29th, 2015, 11:41 PM
My hair is almost always in a braid or in a wild whirlwind of a 2a mane. The pictures I post are always combed and neatly arranged. ;)

neko_kawaii
March 29th, 2015, 11:57 PM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?

Usually pictures are at the beginning of the day, by the end of the day it is all wispies, now and then I have reason to take photos and post those. Somewhere in my blog I have a photo of a braid that I wore one day and then put up in a coronet the next. Its fantastically frizzy! (I'm wearing a rope braid right now that has four inches of hair sticking out all over it.) Most updo shots look pretty good but I don't fuss over them. Hair goes up, shot gets taken, moving on. When I take a length shot I post the picture that is both in best focus and shows length and don't bother to retake to get perfect arrangement, nor do I fuss over appearance - wash it, let it dry, take the picture.

Fairina
March 30th, 2015, 12:02 AM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?

http://i.imgur.com/C0HvrEph.jpg
it waits in hiding until picture day. :pegasus:

Sarahlabyrinth
March 30th, 2015, 12:06 AM
I think mine looks pretty ordinary unless I take particular attention to how I do it.

MINAKO
March 30th, 2015, 12:31 AM
i wear mine always in a bun, actually decent and sleek looking whenever i leave the house. I cant just throw it up sloppily, but doing it right takes like two minutes longer for any cinnabun variation, so what?
At home i just put my silk bun cover on and in case i spend the next day at home i dont touch it unless its wash wash day, then i apply my prepoo and plastic baggy.
So if you run into me in the street im gonna look very similar to my avatar pic.

Rosetta
March 30th, 2015, 01:05 AM
Ok, seems a lot of people got bemused by my question. This is the awkward questions, hair edition, here.

I'm specifically referring to a different, non hair centered forum. Not here.
The scenario goes something like this:
Poster: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! I just dyed my hair with (whatever) and I'm now a real red head! Just wanted you to know I'm one of you now!!!!!
(Usually with excessive misspellings)
(Two days later, no answers)
Poster: well, I guess I'm just too awesome for you. (Degenerates into calling us lovely name that sound like itch, door and jut)
(Group owner usually closes thread at this point.)
Meanwhile, Poster is attempting to hijack, oh a mascara thread (all about browns, you know)
Poster: hiiiiiiiii, I dyed my hair a couple days ago and I don't see why you can't just wear black.
Response: because it's too stark for my skin tone.
Poster: but it looks good on me!
(Someone eventually suggests that tan people probably are able to rock black mascara)
Poster: you all are excluding those of us who dye our hair. (Proceeds to speak for people who were born red and faded, changed or otherwise dyed over red tones. She has been clear that she was never red in one of the other six threads she started while the dye was still on her head. She's very excited, and that part is cool)

What I don't get is this seeming need to be "accepted as a redhead."
Honestly, from her pic, if she'd been quiet about the dye, most would think she was accenting, not changing, color. It was well done, for sure.
Why tell, and then demand to get the secret handshake, or whatever we weren't giving her?
(I wonder the same thing about "vegetarians who eat chicken.")
I must say that is one weird forum, or maybe better, one weird person...!

But I'm sure you see now it's not fair to generalize that one person's behavior to everyone (who dye their hair), and/or to expect us here to answer for that person's behavior... ;)

Five of Five
March 30th, 2015, 01:18 AM
Truepeacenik, I think it is due to the fact that a lot of people unfortunately categorise (only) women into stereotypical groups based on hair colour. Because of this, some people might identify strongly with a hair colour based on the perceived traits that go along with it.

I've been blonde all my life, but I don't see myself as more blonde than someone who attains the colour through bleach. It's just the colour that grows out of my head when I don't dye it, and not some kind of personal statement.

That said, I have to admit that I do feel threatened by people who bleach their hair and talk about how 'blonde' they are when they act in a deliberately foolish manner. I think it's because I spent much of my life having people say things like: "Wow, you're way smarter than you look," or worse, not believing me when I say something that I know is correct, but believing the next person who comes along and repeats the exact same thing :confused:



Ok, seems a lot of people got bemused by my question. This is the awkward questions, hair edition, here.

I'm specifically referring to a different, non hair centered forum. Not here.
The scenario goes something like this:
Poster: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! I just dyed my hair with (whatever) and I'm now a real red head! Just wanted you to know I'm one of you now!!!!!
(Usually with excessive misspellings)
(Two days later, no answers)
Poster: well, I guess I'm just too awesome for you. (Degenerates into calling us lovely name that sound like itch, door and jut)
(Group owner usually closes thread at this point.)
Meanwhile, Poster is attempting to hijack, oh a mascara thread (all about browns, you know)
Poster: hiiiiiiiii, I dyed my hair a couple days ago and I don't see why you can't just wear black.
Response: because it's too stark for my skin tone.
Poster: but it looks good on me!
(Someone eventually suggests that tan people probably are able to rock black mascara)
Poster: you all are excluding those of us who dye our hair. (Proceeds to speak for people who were born red and faded, changed or otherwise dyed over red tones. She has been clear that she was never red in one of the other six threads she started while the dye was still on her head. She's very excited, and that part is cool)

What I don't get is this seeming need to be "accepted as a redhead."
Honestly, from her pic, if she'd been quiet about the dye, most would think she was accenting, not changing, color. It was well done, for sure.
Why tell, and then demand to get the secret handshake, or whatever we weren't giving her?
(I wonder the same thing about "vegetarians who eat chicken.")

then again, it is the Internet, and like a zoo, someone will fling poop at some point.

chen bao jun
March 30th, 2015, 05:45 AM
I'm with true peacenik on this one.

She's not denying the person's right to dye her hair and she's not using semantics or excluding the person. GOD has excluded the person. Dyeing your hair red will not make you a natural redhead, it's a whole unique bundle of traits, including oddly enough things like your sensitivity to pain and certainly it's an issue (one that I dont see as enviable ) that redheads can't wear certain colors and they still couldn't if they dyed their hair brown, because it's not just because of the hair. The person dying her hair can never really relate because she still really has to wear brunette or blond colors, may have changed her hair color but nothing else c hanged, nor is it changeable.

They even have a different sensitivity to pain, have to be dosed differently with pain killer. This is not going to apply to people not born redheaded, saying they are being exclusive because this is true is like saying professional jockeys are being exclusive if they say they have issues that Kareem Abdul Jabar is never going to 'get'

I also don't understand the dyed blondes who complain about blonde jokes five of five --or ma k e them. Blonde jokes are wrong, but if your blonde is due to bleach, doesn't apply.

People are so strange sometimes. .
I've had a friend with naturally straight hair who had a perm want to discuss curly problems with me, and fight with me when I said that real curls didnt behave like what she was describing. She got offended to the point of hysteria her curls were real, she insisted, just not natural.

Whatever.

Arctic
March 30th, 2015, 06:16 AM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?

I choose my hair pics very carefully. First I take lots, then go through them and choose the most flattering one(s). I usually edit my photos too, at least colour/saturation/contrast/lightness.

My hair colour, for one, usually looks very different in photos than in real life. My cowlicks often do not behave in real life. My hair probably looks thinner in real life too, (ETA: but on the other hand, my thin front area looks worse in photos than in real life). And yep, most photos of updos/braids are taken right after I did them, so after a long day they probably look more messy.

Robot Ninja
March 30th, 2015, 06:27 AM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

If I'm actually going outside it looks pretty much like the pictures, until the braid shred and wispies come out. When it's down it more or less behaves. If I'm not leaving the house, it often looks like something exploded on my head.



I also don't understand the dyed blondes who complain about blonde jokes five of five --or ma k e them. Blonde jokes are wrong, but if your blonde is due to bleach, doesn't apply.


Blonde jokes do apply to bottle blondes though. You may be aware that you'll be the butt of jokes when you bleach your hair, but that doesn't mean you can't get annoyed at them.

Rosetta
March 30th, 2015, 06:31 AM
Blonde jokes do apply to bottle blondes though. You may be aware that you'll be the butt of jokes when you bleach your hair, but that doesn't mean you can't get annoyed at them.
Totally agree.


She's not denying the person's right to dye her hair and she's not using semantics or excluding the person. GOD has excluded the person.
You do realize that's not some kind universal truth, just a belief...?

Sterlyn
March 30th, 2015, 07:02 AM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?

My pics are usually always freshly washed hair and good hair days on top. My hair on the days after wash day, when taken down, usually has wonky ends and weird bumps and humps from updos and the giant cowlick at my crown is usually separated causing scalp cleavage that looks like a massive canyon running down my head. Those days no pics are happening and especially no pics going on the internet. I can freshen it up with my water/MO spray but it doesn't always work and unless I'm wanting to wear it down, I don't worry about it.

I tend to only take pics when hair is looking good. My avatar pic was a rare unicorn marvelous hair day. I had done a protein treatment after a long time of forgetting about them along with the rinse-out oil method. Took my hair down and let it dry and WOW, who's hair is that? So yeah I snapped a pic :p. Its a little bit of false advertising because really my hair doesn't look like that all the time and my waves certainly don't stay that nice unless I completely leave them alone, one bun, to much handling or a comb and they are usually back to ripples, albeit nice ripples. :)

veryhairyfairy
March 30th, 2015, 07:23 AM
I've seen people act similarly, TPN, and the only motivation I can see is wanting to belong/fit in/whathaveyou.
It sounds like she wanted to be part of the 'redheads club' and possibly felt inferior for her dye not being her natural color (a feeling which makes no sense).
No dyed red will ever understand what it was like to be bullied as a child for that red, myself included (I've got my own bullying baggage, alas).
Most dyed reds can't understand about makeup and clothing woes, either, so I imagine it's incredibly frustrating for someone to be trying to clump themselves in with the naturals in terms of colors they can wear.
Makes me think of a scene in 30 Rock where Julianne Moore says something like: "I'm going to open a store where redheaded girls can buy makeup from someone who understands"

veryhairyfairy
March 30th, 2015, 07:58 AM
My question: How does people's everyday hair compare to the pictures they post?

My hair usually looks terrible. I shove it into a blob most days that's roughly spherical and promise myself I'll do....something...nice for it later. My posted pics are usually on days that I just did something miraculously like a predictable curl pattern or who knows what else.

How about you?
Heh, this is a fun topic, I like seeing the replies!

In everyday life, I'm constantly in a bun. During weekends with my SO, I'm constantly in a fuzzy braid or two.

For planned pictures it's all about washing beforehand and letting it airdry loose (which is something I almost never have the patience for) and combing it with a wide tooth comb while it dries. I try to take fairly 'honest' pictures, though, because they're mostly for me. :)
(But I also take several pictures and choose the best lol)

truepeacenik
March 30th, 2015, 08:07 AM
Truepeacenik, I think it is due to the fact that a lot of people unfortunately categorise (only) women into stereotypical groups based on hair colour. Because of this, some people might identify strongly with a hair colour based on the perceived traits that go along with it.

I've been blonde all my life, but I don't see myself as more blonde than someone who attains the colour through bleach. It's just the colour that grows out of my head when I don't dye it, and not some kind of personal statement.

That said, I have to admit that I do feel threatened by people who bleach their hair and talk about how 'blonde' they are when they act in a deliberately foolish manner. I think it's because I spent much of my life having people say things like: "Wow, you're way smarter than you look," or worse, not believing me when I say something that I know is correct, but believing the next person who comes along and repeats the exact same thing :confused:

Oh, don't get me started on the people who choose red and then act in a stereotypical "firey outspoken manner."
And not in an empowered way, just a ***chy way. Be strong. But don't be a jerk.

As for my words falling but the next person saying the same thing being brilliant, it was usually a male making the repeat statement. And the dingaling not listening to me was my ex, despite his common refrain of "brains. I married you for your brains."
I truly think he assumed I'd say something logical or insightful, but to hear it again made him listen. Still annoyed me.


I'm with true peacenik on this one.

She's not denying the person's right to dye her hair and she's not using semantics or excluding the person. GOD has excluded the person. Dyeing your hair red will not make you a natural redhead, it's a whole unique bundle of traits, including oddly enough things like your sensitivity to pain and certainly it's an issue (one that I dont see as enviable ) that redheads can't wear certain colors and they still couldn't if they dyed their hair brown, because it's not just because of the hair. The person dying her hair can never really relate because she still really has to wear brunette or blond colors, may have changed her hair color but nothing else c hanged, nor is it changeable.

They even have a different sensitivity to pain, have to be dosed differently with pain killer. This is not going to apply to people not born redheaded, saying they are being exclusive because this is true is like saying professional jockeys are being exclusive if they say they have issues that Kareem Abdul Jabar is never going to 'get'

I also don't understand the dyed blondes who complain about blonde jokes five of five --or ma k e them. Blonde jokes are wrong, but if your blonde is due to bleach, doesn't apply.

People are so strange sometimes. .
I've had a friend with naturally straight hair who had a perm want to discuss curly problems with me, and fight with me when I said that real curls didnt behave like what she was describing. She got offended to the point of hysteria her curls were real, she insisted, just not natural.

Whatever.

Maybe it speaks to wanting to change on a deeper level. I'd hand off my pain sense and likelihood of more skin cancer to the next one, if I could. But I'd keep my length genetics. ;)
It is the whole secret tree fort club vibe.
I have a mutation of a gene. It shows as red. In my case it isn't superficial, it's innate.
Box red isn't going to change your genetics, any more than a perm and a spray on tan will.

truepeacenik
March 30th, 2015, 08:09 AM
I've seen people act similarly, TPN, and the only motivation I can see is wanting to belong/fit in/whathaveyou.
It sounds like she wanted to be part of the 'redheads club' and possibly felt inferior for her dye not being her natural color (a feeling which makes no sense).
No dyed red will ever understand what it was like to be bullied as a child for that red, myself included (I've got my own bullying baggage, alas).
Most dyed reds can't understand about makeup and clothing woes, either, so I imagine it's incredibly frustrating for someone to be trying to clump themselves in with the naturals in terms of colors they can wear.
Makes me think of a scene in 30 Rock where Julianne Moore says something like: "I'm going to open a store where redheaded girls can buy makeup from someone who understands"


It exists!
Www.justforredheads.com

chen bao jun
March 30th, 2015, 08:51 AM
Totally agree.


You do realize that's not some kind universal truth, just a belief...?

Rosetta, I realize some people don't believe in God, I used to be an atheist myself; however, I think you understand my point. Switch out 'God' for "nature' or 'genetics' or whatever you want to.

There is a real difference also, between mocked for something for something that happened without your volition and mocked for something you did. The natural blonde didn't make a choice. the dyed blonde may have realized she would be mocked but still decided that the benefits of being 'blonde' outweighed the liabilities in her mind, and that's entirely, completely different.

However, I agree that mocking people for hair color whether natural or bleached is just not right and while I do believe strongly in free speech, blonde jokes are so distasteful that in my opinion they border on actual racism.

chen bao jun
March 30th, 2015, 09:04 AM
I normally wear my hair in a bun on top of my head, I've posted it on here in lots and lots of photographs. Its not a special kind of bun, I've been known to call it a 'cinnablob' as its just done by winding my hair around in a lump or blob and poking a stick through it.

One of the benefits of being curly that my friend who wanted to 'join the club' didn't acquire is that curly hair stays up without difficulty. I enjoy that and make use of it. Might as well, since I am not going to change it.

Not only didn't she want any of the non-benefits though, but I found it very obnoxious that besides telling me that she was a 'real' curly though not 'natural' she told me that my hair is not curly, but frizzy...

In her mind, 'real' curls are those perfectly formed things that come out of curlers or perm rods in exactly the size you want and stay that way and frizz is not part of the equation, I guess, lol.

She also spends a lot of time explaining to me and to everyone else, without being challenged (I certainly would never be so rude as to bring up the subject) that she is a 'real' blonde. Which she is, in the same way that she is a real curly head. Once she told me that even though she 'touches up' her hair, it always comes out the same color no matter what brand or color of box dye (or bleach, I am not up on these nuances) she picks, because it is natural to her.

This woman's hair looks great and she's very pretty and its bizarre that she has this need to keep, well, to be blunt, lying to herself and to everyone else too when no one really cares if she improves herself a bit, the look she has chosen is great and it looks great and that should be enough.

butter52
March 30th, 2015, 10:55 AM
Ok, seems a lot of people got bemused by my question. This is the awkward questions, hair edition, here.

I'm specifically referring to a different, non hair centered forum. Not here.
The scenario goes something like this:
Poster: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!! I just dyed my hair with (whatever) and I'm now a real red head! Just wanted you to know I'm one of you now!!!!!
(Usually with excessive misspellings)
(Two days later, no answers)
Poster: well, I guess I'm just too awesome for you. (Degenerates into calling us lovely name that sound like itch, door and jut)
(Group owner usually closes thread at this point.)
Meanwhile, Poster is attempting to hijack, oh a mascara thread (all about browns, you know)
Poster: hiiiiiiiii, I dyed my hair a couple days ago and I don't see why you can't just wear black.
Response: because it's too stark for my skin tone.
Poster: but it looks good on me!
(Someone eventually suggests that tan people probably are able to rock black mascara)
Poster: you all are excluding those of us who dye our hair. (Proceeds to speak for people who were born red and faded, changed or otherwise dyed over red tones. She has been clear that she was never red in one of the other six threads she started while the dye was still on her head. She's very excited, and that part is cool)

What I don't get is this seeming need to be "accepted as a redhead."
Honestly, from her pic, if she'd been quiet about the dye, most would think she was accenting, not changing, color. It was well done, for sure.
Why tell, and then demand to get the secret handshake, or whatever we weren't giving her?
(I wonder the same thing about "vegetarians who eat chicken.")

then again, it is the Internet, and like a zoo, someone will fling poop at some point.

Lol I want to think that are just internet weirdos with group acceptance issues, nothing to do with hear colour or dye or childhood in my opinion.

I would defenetly be annoyed by somebody like that. But please dont generalize to other box redheads.

pastina
March 30th, 2015, 11:39 AM
ok, so reading the acceptance stuff reminds me of something that just happened the other day and it baffled me.

background-- i dye my hair and there's no question that i dye my hair, it's unnatural looking. i've been at this for a very long time. but, i dye my hair this way FOR ME, and for no one else. i do not do it for attention, and i'm actually the type to shy away from any attention i get, since i'm a pretty shy person. to be honest, it's usually up, and i don't get that many comments in the wild. if someone says they like it, i'll obviously accept the compliment politely, and if someone asks for advice, i'd gladly help. but i'm not a peacock, and i don't flaunt my hair. i'm not a punk kid wearing a uniform. i am a mother of two that is pushing 30 and keeps her hair pink because pink makes her happy.

so the story. i went into a salon last weekend, with my older son, who is 26 months old. i've been cutting his hair myself, but he's due for another trim, and i didn't want to have to wrestle with him myself. it was obvious, just walking in, that three of the girls working in the store had just added unnatural color to their hair. as one of them was taking down my phone number, another came up to me to tell me that,

oh my god, my hair is just like yours!!

ok, true, her hair was striped in two colors-- pink and purple. mine is half pink and half blue, so, i saw the similarity in that respect, and i realized that mine being tied up in a bun disguised the length and condition disparity. i politely smiled at her and nodded, but i continued struggling with my child as i continued trying to answer the receptionist's questions and spell my last name.

and the hairdresser with the pink and purple hair stood there, possibly unsatisfied with the fact that i hadn't showered her with praise?, flipping her hair around and giving me all different angles of it, as if she were in a shampoo commercial. like, loooooooook at it!!

here's why this confused me.

if someone says to me, "you changed your hair!" my response will be, "yes i did." because, if i have indeed changed my hair, that's a statement of fact, and no further explaination is required. this statement, "my hair is just like yours!" is a similar type of statement. there was no request for an opinion on her new hair color, and no question as to whether or not i agreed with that statement. it was an observation.

did she expect me to give her a high five? did she expect me to take down my bun and similarly toss my hair around? what was i supposed to do in this situation?

Arctic
March 30th, 2015, 11:41 AM
I have an awkward observation/ question.

So, on the other hand people here are recommending everyone who henna, to use BAQ (=body art quality) henna, for its superior stain and staying power, yes?

And using weaker henna is sniffed at, yes? Because it's lower quality, doesn't stay so well on some, and the stain is weaker, yes?

On the other hand there are TONS of people who end up hating their henna, and would actually have benefitted from using the non-BAQ henna. I have always found this contradiction a big mystery. ETA. If the BAQ henna wouldn't be pushed, there might be less unhappy hennaheads? Maybe?

I get that some non-BAQ hennas might have metals and other additives, but not all of them do.


ETA: Also, in addition to those: BAQ henna seems to rather easily produce burgundy red colour with multiple applications, and not many people like that. Whereas the non-BAQ henna seems to give more reliably a natural looking orange-red. So if you definitely do not want burgundy hair, why use BAQ henna?

brickworld13
March 30th, 2015, 11:49 AM
I have an awkward observation/ question.

So, on the other hand people here are recommending everyone who henna, to use BAQ (=body art quality) henna, for its superior stain and staying power, yes?

And using weaker henna is sniffed at, yes? Because it's lower quality, doesn't stay so well on some, and the stain is weaker, yes?

On the other hand there are TONS of people who end up hating their henna, and would actually have benefitted from using the non-BAQ henna. I have always found this contradiction a big mystery.

I get that some non-BAQ hennas might have metals and other additives, but not all of them do.

Another side of that is BAQ is a finer sift and doesn't have leaves and twigs in it. Which is supposed to make it easier to apply and easier to wash out.

Arctic
March 30th, 2015, 11:50 AM
I always used non-BAQ henna (I hennaed for years, probably close to 10 years) and not once there were leaves or twigs. But that's a good point, maybe some brands do have coarser henna.

Nedertane
March 30th, 2015, 11:52 AM
ok, so reading the acceptance stuff reminds me of something that just happened the other day and it baffled me.

background-- i dye my hair and there's no question that i dye my hair, it's unnatural looking. i've been at this for a very long time. but, i dye my hair this way FOR ME, and for no one else. i do not do it for attention, and i'm actually the type to shy away from any attention i get, since i'm a pretty shy person. to be honest, it's usually up, and i don't get that many comments in the wild. if someone says they like it, i'll obviously accept the compliment politely, and if someone asks for advice, i'd gladly help. but i'm not a peacock, and i don't flaunt my hair. i'm not a punk kid wearing a uniform. i am a mother of two that is pushing 30 and keeps her hair pink because pink makes her happy.

so the story. i went into a salon last weekend, with my older son, who is 26 months old. i've been cutting his hair myself, but he's due for another trim, and i didn't want to have to wrestle with him myself. it was obvious, just walking in, that three of the girls working in the store had just added unnatural color to their hair. as one of them was taking down my phone number, another came up to me to tell me that,

oh my god, my hair is just like yours!!

ok, true, her hair was striped in two colors-- pink and purple. mine is half pink and half blue, so, i saw the similarity in that respect, and i realized that mine being tied up in a bun disguised the length and condition disparity. i politely smiled at her and nodded, but i continued struggling with my child as i continued trying to answer the receptionist's questions and spell my last name.

and the hairdresser with the pink and purple hair stood there, possibly unsatisfied with the fact that i hadn't showered her with praise?, flipping her hair around and giving me all different angles of it, as if she were in a shampoo commercial. like, loooooooook at it!!

here's why this confused me.

if someone says to me, "you changed your hair!" my response will be, "yes i did." because, if i have indeed changed my hair, that's a statement of fact, and no further explaination is required. this statement, "my hair is just like yours!" is a similar type of statement. there was no request for an opinion on her new hair color, and no question as to whether or not i agreed with that statement. it was an observation.

did she expect me to give her a high five? did she expect me to take down my bun and similarly toss my hair around? what was i supposed to do in this situation?

Is she someone who frequently has unnatural colors in her hair? If not, she might have been a bit nervous about how it looked, and was hoping for some approval. Obviously you aren't mandated to give that, but she might have considered you an "expert" since you have had pink hair for a while.

pastina
March 30th, 2015, 11:57 AM
i've never seen her before.

eta-- i dont go to that salon, or honestly, any salon because i do my hair myself. it's possible she's seen me before around town? but i have no idea.

Chromis
March 30th, 2015, 01:14 PM
I always used non-BAQ henna (I hennaed for years, probably close to 10 years) and not once there were leaves or twigs. But that's a good point, maybe some brands do have coarser henna.

I've found the leaves and twigs before :lol:

I got a giant bulk bag of it once at our Indian supermarket because it was such a great deal. Even BAQ henna always fades in my hair anyhow, so I figured what's the harm? It didn't do anything awful, but it was an even bigger hassle than normal to rinse out and I think it must have been cut with sand or something! So gritty. I've gotten some that was obviously dyed green as well.

gwenalyn
March 30th, 2015, 01:28 PM
ok, so reading the acceptance stuff reminds me of something that just happened the other day and it baffled me.

background-- i dye my hair and there's no question that i dye my hair, it's unnatural looking. i've been at this for a very long time. but, i dye my hair this way FOR ME, and for no one else. i do not do it for attention, and i'm actually the type to shy away from any attention i get, since i'm a pretty shy person. to be honest, it's usually up, and i don't get that many comments in the wild. if someone says they like it, i'll obviously accept the compliment politely, and if someone asks for advice, i'd gladly help. but i'm not a peacock, and i don't flaunt my hair. i'm not a punk kid wearing a uniform. i am a mother of two that is pushing 30 and keeps her hair pink because pink makes her happy.

so the story. i went into a salon last weekend, with my older son, who is 26 months old. i've been cutting his hair myself, but he's due for another trim, and i didn't want to have to wrestle with him myself. it was obvious, just walking in, that three of the girls working in the store had just added unnatural color to their hair. as one of them was taking down my phone number, another came up to me to tell me that,

oh my god, my hair is just like yours!!

ok, true, her hair was striped in two colors-- pink and purple. mine is half pink and half blue, so, i saw the similarity in that respect, and i realized that mine being tied up in a bun disguised the length and condition disparity. i politely smiled at her and nodded, but i continued struggling with my child as i continued trying to answer the receptionist's questions and spell my last name.

and the hairdresser with the pink and purple hair stood there, possibly unsatisfied with the fact that i hadn't showered her with praise?, flipping her hair around and giving me all different angles of it, as if she were in a shampoo commercial. like, loooooooook at it!!

here's why this confused me.

if someone says to me, "you changed your hair!" my response will be, "yes i did." because, if i have indeed changed my hair, that's a statement of fact, and no further explaination is required. this statement, "my hair is just like yours!" is a similar type of statement. there was no request for an opinion on her new hair color, and no question as to whether or not i agreed with that statement. it was an observation.

did she expect me to give her a high five? did she expect me to take down my bun and similarly toss my hair around? what was i supposed to do in this situation?

I think she expected some sort of compliment, which of course you don't have to give, but it's not unreasonable for her to want one. This conversation is little awkward:

"I just got a haircut!"
"Yes, you did."
"..."

But this conversation feels a little more natural, even if the new haircut looks awful:

"I just got a haircut!"
"Wow, it looks great!"
"Thank you!"

Of course, dramatically flipping your hair around and preening is also a really awkward way to ask for a compliment, so I don't blame you for being confused >< And, clearly, you were busy with your kid and the receptionist, so really, awkward all around. And kind of rude of her.

pastina
March 30th, 2015, 01:35 PM
oh i agree. i kinda did a nod, smile, thing, though because i was def. busy.

...but she wasn't saying she just had it done. she said that her hair was like mine. it'd be like a brunette approaching another brunette to say, OMG we're both brunettes! ...would a compliment be in order there? so weird.

eta-- i said in my original post that it was obvious that all three had just done it. that's because all three had that same pink in their hair in different permutations. none of them SAID they'd just done it, that's just a tell-tale sign to a long time veggie. haha

Arctic
March 30th, 2015, 01:46 PM
I've found the leaves and twigs before :lol:

I got a giant bulk bag of it once at our Indian supermarket because it was such a great deal. Even BAQ henna always fades in my hair anyhow, so I figured what's the harm? It didn't do anything awful, but it was an even bigger hassle than normal to rinse out and I think it must have been cut with sand or something! So gritty. I've gotten some that was obviously dyed green as well.

I didn't even think about this aspect, as I never experienced it myself, and I used several brands over the years. It always rinsed off easily. I always bought mine is small packages (1-2 uses), I have never seen henna being sold in bulk. That's awful, adding sand to henna :( And green dyes; what good does that do?

Chromis
March 30th, 2015, 02:02 PM
Arctic I think the green dye is just to make the henna "look" fresher. I'm not sure how it would fool anyhow who knows henna very well because it was so obvious because it was bright grassy green and quite unlike anything I have seen sold as good quality henna.

Arctic
March 30th, 2015, 02:10 PM
Maybe I was always lucky with my henna brands, or maybe there are better quality control here in Finland/Europe. But I personally never had any problems with my hennas, and they were not BA quality. I actually wished to have burgundy hair, but the hennas I used never gave me that, not even with multiple whole head applications (I never did roots only); this leads me to think, that if person doesn't want dark red/burgundy hair, but would like orange-red hair, then these weaker hennas could be a good solution. Assuming one would find nice quality non-BAQ henna, like the ones I used apparently were.

moontree
March 30th, 2015, 05:58 PM
Great thread :laugh: To add my answer to previous questions... I used to dye my hair a ton of different unnatural colors, often, and it was a sort of identity cultivation thing for me because I really liked it. However, there came a time in my life where I was already growing out faded blue because I was about to go to grad school, and I had to go to court... so I chopped off almost all of the bleached and dyed-blue parts as a kind of ritualistic goodbye to previous unhealthy ways of life. The resulting haircut was pretty bad-70's in appearance but is less awful now.

Re: hair pics, yep, definitely only good or interesting hair days end up on here. Normally I have to wear it up for my internship and I have to wear it up in class or i play with it too much. And then when it comes down, the curls and worls are mashed into weird and unpleasant shapes. So "bun with short pieces escaping to curl triumphantly in gravity defiance" is my outside the house look. I often wear it down at home and it's usually frizzy and lumpy looking after the bunnage so, eh.

My awkward hair question... hmm. How do you ladies compliment hair you see in the wild? Or do you? At my internship there is a woman I work with who has stunningly beautiful little curls. I can tell from how tight the curls are that it probably took a long time to grow it (like it's between chin and shoulder curly but I bet its APL stretched at least), and I admire it to myself every time I see her. I don't want it to be unprofessional of me to say something, or othering, since I'm of a different race and I don't want to be disrespectful.

veryhairyfairy
March 30th, 2015, 07:44 PM
Starwest henna has sand in it... I found out by sifting it while it was dry. And even their organic (no-sand) henna has green dye added to it.
I figure someday I'll start buying low-lawsone BAQ henna, when I can stomach the price point.


It exists!
Www.justforredheads.com

I shouldn't have seen this! Now I must forget about those lovely blushes and bronzers! :violin:

veryhairyfairy
March 30th, 2015, 07:54 PM
oh i agree. i kinda did a nod, smile, thing, though because i was def. busy.

...but she wasn't saying she just had it done. she said that her hair was like mine. it'd be like a brunette approaching another brunette to say, OMG we're both brunettes! ...would a compliment be in order there? so weird.

eta-- i said in my original post that it was obvious that all three had just done it. that's because all three had that same pink in their hair in different permutations. none of them SAID they'd just done it, that's just a tell-tale sign to a long time veggie. haha
This situation feels weird to me, too, especially because you were obviously busy and toddler-wrangling.
Maybe she was just excited about her new hair color(s) and wanted to bond(?) or was looking for someone outside of her workmates to compliment her since it was new... either way, the way she behaved after your polite acknowledgement of her statement sounded so off-putting and childish! :lol:

If some random person came up to me and said "My hair is just like yours!" I'm sure I'd respond the exact same way; Polite acknowledgement of a statement, probably without further engagement on my part.
(Now, I have a completely opposite reaction if someone is also a henna-head and wants to say hi because she recognized my henna, but that's completely different IMO)

Nedertane
March 30th, 2015, 09:34 PM
I've got a question!

What on earth is meant by "hiding behind your hair"? Now to specify, I mostly hear this on the makeover shows my mom or sister might put on, but I think I've heard it in real life.

I always immediately think of literally using one's hair as a curtain to hide themselves (like a very shy child might do). But I think people mean it as that you keep it long, but don't style it?

Idk, anyone care to interpret? :)

Kina
March 30th, 2015, 09:44 PM
I've got a question!

What on earth is meant by "hiding behind your hair"? Now to specify, I mostly hear this on the makeover shows my mom or sister might put on, but I think I've heard it in real life.

I always immediately think of literally using one's hair as a curtain to hide themselves (like a very shy child might do). But I think people mean it as that you keep it long, but don't style it?

Idk, anyone care to interpret? :)

I do this. I use my hair like you describe above, but also to distract people, oe divert attention to where I want it to go. For example, I'm broad shouldered, I use my hair to break up the horizontal line of my shoulders to minize the width.

Five of Five
March 30th, 2015, 11:03 PM
That is a very interesting question, Nedertane!

In my opinion, that phrase comes with the assumption that women are there to decorate others' worlds, and the related assumption that those who have something different from the norm are either secretly afraid to look conventionally attractive, or feel that they are not attractive and want to distract from it.

While I have on one occasion heard that term directed towards myself about my hair, more often it is about my weight (having put on a lot over the last two years) and my preference for 'modest' dress.



I've got a question!

What on earth is meant by "hiding behind your hair"? Now to specify, I mostly hear this on the makeover shows my mom or sister might put on, but I think I've heard it in real life.

I always immediately think of literally using one's hair as a curtain to hide themselves (like a very shy child might do). But I think people mean it as that you keep it long, but don't style it?

Idk, anyone care to interpret? :)

ghost
March 31st, 2015, 12:13 AM
Does anyone else have major split end anxiety? Like, you see a split end while you're going about your day but you don't have hair scissors, and you freak out a little because you MUST cut it now, or how will you find it again later?

Five of Five
March 31st, 2015, 12:49 AM
An interesting anecdote, Pastina!

As someone who often says awkward things like that hairdresser, I think she was just hoping you would have some kind of insight into having beautifully coloured hair, rather than looking for anything specific ;)


Your story reminded me of something I have always wondered: what does the hair flicking gesture mean when combined with a glare or down-up look? I've always found the gesture to be quite a strong one, but have never understood it.

Is it a way of telling people they are unwelcome by 'flicking' them away? Or is it done to show that they think they are prettier than the person receiving the look?


ok, so reading the acceptance stuff reminds me of something that just happened the other day and it baffled me.

background-- i dye my hair and there's no question that i dye my hair, it's unnatural looking. i've been at this for a very long time. but, i dye my hair this way FOR ME, and for no one else. i do not do it for attention, and i'm actually the type to shy away from any attention i get, since i'm a pretty shy person. to be honest, it's usually up, and i don't get that many comments in the wild. if someone says they like it, i'll obviously accept the compliment politely, and if someone asks for advice, i'd gladly help. but i'm not a peacock, and i don't flaunt my hair. i'm not a punk kid wearing a uniform. i am a mother of two that is pushing 30 and keeps her hair pink because pink makes her happy.

so the story. i went into a salon last weekend, with my older son, who is 26 months old. i've been cutting his hair myself, but he's due for another trim, and i didn't want to have to wrestle with him myself. it was obvious, just walking in, that three of the girls working in the store had just added unnatural color to their hair. as one of them was taking down my phone number, another came up to me to tell me that,

oh my god, my hair is just like yours!!

ok, true, her hair was striped in two colors-- pink and purple. mine is half pink and half blue, so, i saw the similarity in that respect, and i realized that mine being tied up in a bun disguised the length and condition disparity. i politely smiled at her and nodded, but i continued struggling with my child as i continued trying to answer the receptionist's questions and spell my last name.

and the hairdresser with the pink and purple hair stood there, possibly unsatisfied with the fact that i hadn't showered her with praise?, flipping her hair around and giving me all different angles of it, as if she were in a shampoo commercial. like, loooooooook at it!!

here's why this confused me.

if someone says to me, "you changed your hair!" my response will be, "yes i did." because, if i have indeed changed my hair, that's a statement of fact, and no further explaination is required. this statement, "my hair is just like yours!" is a similar type of statement. there was no request for an opinion on her new hair color, and no question as to whether or not i agreed with that statement. it was an observation.

did she expect me to give her a high five? did she expect me to take down my bun and similarly toss my hair around? what was i supposed to do in this situation?

Rosetta
March 31st, 2015, 01:09 AM
I think she expected some sort of compliment, which of course you don't have to give, but it's not unreasonable for her to want one. This conversation is little awkward:

"I just got a haircut!"
"Yes, you did."
"..."

But this conversation feels a little more natural, even if the new haircut looks awful:

"I just got a haircut!"
"Wow, it looks great!"
"Thank you!"
Wonderful example (bolding mine) ;) I do wonder why do people almost expect compliments after any change (or even without a change sometimes), even if they'd be insincere... But I guess that might be another awkward question.


Lol I want to think that are just internet weirdos with group acceptance issues, nothing to do with hear colour or dye or childhood in my opinion.

I would defenetly be annoyed by somebody like that. But please dont generalize to other box redheads.
Just what I tried to say earlier :) I really don't think anyone apart from few strange individuals like that would assume they now have the genetic qualities of redheads (or any other colour), just because of dyeing their hair. I know I never have.

(OTOH, I don't agree that there are "colours only natural redheads can wear".)

theoperative
March 31st, 2015, 03:43 AM
Well, perhaps it was more of a statement but when I wore my hair down at the office one day it really made and impression (I'm a guy) :) So a girl I worked with kind of intrigued said to me "my your hair would look very beautiful on a woman…. :rolleyes: Maybe what she meant was " a woman, or some women would like to have this kind of hair…." Heard this statement on several occasions. A backwards compliment I guess…..

kaydana
March 31st, 2015, 03:43 AM
Wonderful example (bolding mine) ;) I do wonder why do people almost expect compliments after any change (or even without a change sometimes), even if they'd be insincere... But I guess that might be another awkward question.

I think people want to feel like they matter to other people. If you're paying attention to someone you'll probably notice if they change something, so if you don't notice they feel like you don't care. If you do notice, the only way to verbalise that without causing offense is to compliment it. If you comment on something in a neutral way, it is assumed you don't like it.

theoperative
March 31st, 2015, 03:59 AM
I've got a question!

What on earth is meant by "hiding behind your hair"? Now to specify, I mostly hear this on the makeover shows my mom or sister might put on, but I think I've heard it in real life.

I always immediately think of literally using one's hair as a curtain to hide themselves (like a very shy child might do). But I think people mean it as that you keep it long, but don't style it?

Idk, anyone care to interpret? :)

Hello Nedertane :D

I think your literal interpretation is accurate, but one can hide oneself behind or in many things like coats and hats. However, wearing very long hair down and brushed out can also be flaunting it, showing it off and thus drawing attention….quite the opposite of hiding :D

veryhairyfairy
March 31st, 2015, 07:02 AM
What an interesting question, Nedertane. :)
I tend to agree with Five of Five's interpretation: an assumption that long, unstyled (unheat styled, undyed, unlayered, etc) hair is kind of like wearing baggy sweatpants and no makeup in the setting of 'conventional' attractiveness.

I also think Kina hit on a very good point, that maybe the person saying "you're hiding behind your hair" is thinking that you're using it to divert attention to it.

Personally, I'm in the "Hiding my hair" camp, because I hate the attention that can come from wearing it down.


Wonderful example (bolding mine) ;) I do wonder why do people almost expect compliments after any change (or even without a change sometimes), even if they'd be insincere... But I guess that might be another awkward question.


Just what I tried to say earlier :) I really don't think anyone apart from few strange individuals like that would assume they now have the genetic qualities of redheads (or any other colour), just because of dyeing their hair. I know I never have.

(OTOH, I don't agree that there are "colours only natural redheads can wear".)
Whoops, I hope that's not how you interpreted my comments! :o
I was saying that there are colors that natural redheads can't wear, and it sounded like the person in question was making suggestions to a natural redhead based on her own non-redhead ability to wear that color.

My mom and I are living proof that non-naturals can wear pretty much only 'natural redhead colors' (colors that look great on natural reds) and look awesome! :D

Chromis
March 31st, 2015, 07:29 AM
I've never quite understood "hiding behind your hair" comments either. Especially when directed at me since even pre-LHC it was normally in a ponytail or if I had it down, I always had it tucked behind my ears. I hate having hair in my face!

Hiding behind your hair to me implies a curtain of hair literally hanging in front of your face like Cousin Itt.

chen bao jun
March 31st, 2015, 07:35 AM
I think the phrase hiding be ones hair doesn't mean anything much except that the person making the accusation wants you to get a haircut. It's true you can screen your face with long hair with certain hair types but I don't think that's what they mean.

I have an outgoing lively and even aggressive personality, wear bright colors and keep basically in style but am always being accused of hiding in various ways, figured out finally that people think everyone female ought to be showing off major cleavage a nd leg in skin tight clothes all the time, otherwise they accuse you of hiding.

!!!!

Sorry, my body isn't for display . Go find some porn to look at, it's easy to find. You can deal with me as a human being, you know, a real person with a mind.

The sort of person who says that seems to think that long hair hides the boobs and legs too much. At least, on the makeover shows I've seen, the woman afterwards, when she has no more hair, is always put into some sexually provocative outfit, too.

I don't think anybody should be coerced in t o wearing clothes that make them feel uncomfortable, some of us prefer to be covered up (except around our husbands) and that should be okay.

Robot Ninja
March 31st, 2015, 07:38 AM
I think the phrase hiding be ones hair doesn't mean anything much except that the person making the accusation wants you to get a haircut. It's true you can screen your face with long hair with certain hair types but I don't think that's what they mean.


Yeah, pretty much this.

Long hair attracts attention. If you're trying to hide, having long hair isn't the way to do it.

Rosetta
March 31st, 2015, 08:22 AM
Whoops, I hope that's not how you interpreted my comments! :o
I was saying that there are colors that natural redheads can't wear, and it sounded like the person in question was making suggestions to a natural redhead based on her own non-redhead ability to wear that color.
No, I wasn't referring to your comment but someone else's :)


I think people want to feel like they matter to other people. If you're paying attention to someone you'll probably notice if they change something, so if you don't notice they feel like you don't care. If you do notice, the only way to verbalise that without causing offense is to compliment it. If you comment on something in a neutral way, it is assumed you don't like it.
Interesting; commenting neutrally is taken to be negative, I wonder if everyone feels that way? I guess this may also be a cultural thing, i.e. depends on where you are.

arr
March 31st, 2015, 09:03 AM
I've often felt that when people say, Hiding behind your hair, what they really mean is, why are you clinging to your long hair? Why are you afraid of cutting it? Why are you afraid of change? Sometimes it is even said to people who don't necessarily have long hair, but they have had the same hairstyle for decades. It seems many people feel a person needs to change up their look on a regular basis, so people who stick to the same look must have some deep rooted psychological issues and are hiding behind their hair.

Arctic
March 31st, 2015, 09:11 AM
I always thought the hiding behind ones hair is more concretic thing. I always think the hair needs to have some length, no necessarily long, but even long bob length, and it's always worn down, so that the face is not clearly visible (as it would be, if hair would be pulled up or in pony/braid, or even when pushed back behind ears). For example a shy teenager, always wear her/his long hair down a bit like curtain fashion, when s/he talks to people, s/he looks a bit down and not straight, boldly to the eye. And her/his hair flops down and hides her/his face even more. So not really cousin Itt, but somewhere close to!

hinabelle
March 31st, 2015, 09:17 AM
Does anyone else have major split end anxiety? Like, you see a split end while you're going about your day but you don't have hair scissors, and you freak out a little because you MUST cut it now, or how will you find it again later?

YES!!! shudder: I've been frequently tempted to just bring my scissors along with me
wherever I go. Wearing my hair up has helped incredibly with the anxiety though.
Out of sight, out of mind! But when I see them without scissors in the vicinity... :justy:

Rosetta
March 31st, 2015, 09:19 AM
I've often felt that when people say, Hiding behind your hair, what they really mean is, why are you clinging to your long hair? Why are you afraid of cutting it? Why are you afraid of change? Sometimes it is even said to people who don't necessarily have long hair, but they have had the same hairstyle for decades. It seems many people feel a person needs to change up their look on a regular basis, so people who stick to the same look must have some deep rooted psychological issues and are hiding behind their hair.
This, very much - I have noticed it too. I wonder why is that, is it something beauty industry has brainwashed people into thinking, or something more deep-rooted..?

pastina
March 31st, 2015, 09:23 AM
^^what's funny is that when i was younger i always felt "off" for the exact opposite reason. i used to get in funks sometimes where i felt like i was "stagnating" and "suffocating" and i wanted change of some sort. now i change my hair waaaay less often and feel much more centered.

Fairina
March 31st, 2015, 11:49 AM
Why does pubic hair grow so fast and how can I get my head hair to?? :0

Robot Ninja
March 31st, 2015, 12:08 PM
Why does pubic hair grow so fast and how can I get my head hair to?? :0

Monistat :D

Nedertane
March 31st, 2015, 12:09 PM
I've often felt that when people say, Hiding behind your hair, what they really mean is, why are you clinging to your long hair? Why are you afraid of cutting it? Why are you afraid of change? Sometimes it is even said to people who don't necessarily have long hair, but they have had the same hairstyle for decades. It seems many people feel a person needs to change up their look on a regular basis, so people who stick to the same look must have some deep rooted psychological issues and are hiding behind their hair.

I guess given the context that I typically hear this, this idea makes the most sense. Personally, I've gotten pretty content with myself, thanks to anti-depression meds and therapy, not a haircut. But to each their own.

gwenalyn
March 31st, 2015, 12:35 PM
Re: "hiding behind your hair"

I think it can mean, yes, literally hiding--like with very long bangs, or hair pulled very forward on the face. I used to do this in high school--I never wore ponytails or pulled it back or anything, and I was very definitely hiding my face because I wasn't confident. My big hair dream when I went to college was that someday I would wear ponytails! I thought it was such a confident look.

But "hiding behind your hair" doesn't have to be literal or a veiled request for a haircut, either. The other day on the subway I was greatly admiring a girl's hair--it was thick, naturally multi-colored and wavy and silky looking. It wasn't very long, just skimming shoulder-length, but it was very clear that the she *knew* her hair was great, but wasn't confident about other parts of her appearance. I can't describe it exactly, it was a body language thing, but she was definitely hiding behind her hair. Sort of like, all her confidence was centered on the hair, and not at all on her face/body. In a way, she was right, her hair was gorgeous, but in another way, if she had confidence in other parts of her appearance, she would be even more beautiful! I think that's what some people mean by "hiding behind your hair".

chen bao jun
March 31st, 2015, 01:28 PM
Re: "hiding behind your hair"

I think it can mean, yes, literally hiding--like with very long bangs, or hair pulled very forward on the face. I used to do this in high school--I never wore ponytails or pulled it back or anything, and I was very definitely hiding my face because I wasn't confident. My big hair dream when I went to college was that someday I would wear ponytails! I thought it was such a confident look.

But "hiding behind your hair" doesn't have to be literal or a veiled request for a haircut, either. The other day on the subway I was greatly admiring a girl's hair--it was thick, naturally multi-colored and wavy and silky looking. It wasn't very long, just skimming shoulder-length, but it was very clear that the she *knew* her hair was great, but wasn't confident about other parts of her appearance. I can't describe it exactly, it was a body language thing, but she was definitely hiding behind her hair. Sort of like, all her confidence was centered on the hair, and not at all on her face/body. In a way, she was right, her hair was gorgeous, but in another way, if she had confidence in other parts of her appearance, she would be even more beautiful! I think that's what some people mean by "hiding behind your hair".

Okay, this makes sense. But I don't see how this is harmful. I've seen shy girls with long hair do this, and its sort of charming looking. There's nothing wrong with being shy, in my opinion and all that would happen if she got a haircut, she would still be shy with short hair (and would probably find something else to hide behind, a baseball cap, an open book...

Not everybody has a personality where they want to be out there and I thinnk our society should make more room for such people, long hair or not.

Fairina
March 31st, 2015, 02:45 PM
Monistat :D

Lol I might try it if I could muster up the courage to buy it

butter52
March 31st, 2015, 03:32 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

Arctic
March 31st, 2015, 03:43 PM
And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

I don't have long hair yet, but my main motivator for growing is just that: to be able to do my hair in different ways. I enjoy braiding and learning new styles :)

kaydana
March 31st, 2015, 04:00 PM
And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

The best way I can explain it, for me, is that it's a bit like wearing nice underwear. I don't have to wear unflattering underwear when I go out just because no one else can see it, and even though people can't see the underwear itself, well-fitting underwear makes my clothes hang better. I don't have to cut off my hair just because I don't usually show it off in public, and even if people can't see the length my updos look better for it. Ultimately, it isn't there for you to look at, and just because I don't let you see it, doesn't mean nobody else ever gets to.

Would you ask somebody who covers their hair why they bother having hair at all? I doubt most people would, and yet the question is basically the same. It all comes down to "if you don't let me look at it, why do you have it?" as if people can't have things purely for their own enjoyment.

MeAndTheMaz
March 31st, 2015, 04:05 PM
Well, perhaps it was more of a statement but when I wore my hair down at the office one day it really made and impression (I'm a guy) :) So a girl I worked with kind of intrigued said to me "my your hair would look very beautiful on a woman…. :rolleyes: Maybe what she meant was " a woman, or some women would like to have this kind of hair…." Heard this statement on several occasions. A backwards compliment I guess…..

Yeah, that is a bit strange. You've got nice hair for a woman, but you're a dude, so it's just not right on you.

Don't let it get to you, brother. Let your freak flag fly!


I've often felt that when people say, Hiding behind your hair, what they really mean is, why are you clinging to your long hair? Why are you afraid of cutting it? Why are you afraid of change? Sometimes it is even said to people who don't necessarily have long hair, but they have had the same hairstyle for decades. It seems many people feel a person needs to change up their look on a regular basis, so people who stick to the same look must have some deep rooted psychological issues and are hiding behind their hair.

Yeah, this one. I don't think it's so much physically hiding in your hair, it's more like drawing attention to your hair and away from the rest of you.

Fairina
March 31st, 2015, 04:06 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

This reminds me of how I feel about tattoos on peoples backs! I really do wonder why get a tattoo they can never see, same with hair I don't know how people wear it up for years! I can barely keep mine up for an hour without wanting to see the length again. But I'm neurotic hahaa

neko_kawaii
March 31st, 2015, 04:06 PM
For the novelty of seeing how long it will get. Since I don't enjoy hair on my face and neck (but I'm too cheep and lazy to maintain a short cut) I am going to wear it up regardless of length.

MINAKO
March 31st, 2015, 04:12 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.



Coming back to your question. That is pretty much me. Some people ask me continuously why i never wear my hair down. Like they know me for years and have only seen me a handful of times with something other than my bun. I tell them im growing it in time to give myself a facelift with the weight of the bun. Actually thats kind of what it feels sometimes, lol.
But yeah, i like the massiveness of my bun and find it reassuring to know i could take my hair down whenever i wanted to and have it look all fairytale like without the stunt of teasing and clipping in extension. There vomes alot if pride with knowing that we have grown this and taken care of it.

MeAndTheMaz
March 31st, 2015, 04:27 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

Oh good. I'm not the only one wondering. What colors don't look so good, and why is that?


And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

Ditto, again. I know you're not here to decorate my world (or anyone else's), but it just seems odd to me for someone to grow their hair long, only to keep it bunned up. I'm not asking you to justify. I actually get it.

It's just not fair to the rest of us. We want to see and admire your long beautiful locks. :major-pouty-boo-boo-lip, bordering on temper tantrum: (Is there a smiley for that?)

veryhairyfairy
March 31st, 2015, 04:32 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.
A quick google will give you a good visual (Try 'colors for natural redheads'). Earth tones tend to look lovely, as do jewel tones (like emerald green, so great on a redhead!). Obviously not all natural reds have the same skin tone, so it varies, but paleness is usually pretty common so it can be tough to find makeup colors that compliment without looking garish or clashing (peaches, browns, golds tend to look awesome). For instance, I had a friend in school with natural bright orange hair, and she couldn't find a blush that looked natural on her to save her life (but she was also only shopping at drugstores).

I don't understand the genetics bit... it's like asking why someone with a yellow undertone to their skin doesn't feel they look good when they wear certain colors. That's the way the person looks; some colors look great, some colors look horrible.

As for the 2nd question:
Pretty much what kaydana said. :agree: I wear my hair in a bun 80% of the time, braids the other 20%. I've worn it down less than 20 times in the last year+. My hair makes me happy, and it doesn't affect my self esteem/image to know that the random people I see in daily life don't know that it's long.

neko_kawaii
March 31st, 2015, 05:19 PM
Genetics determine hair and skin color? The last time I tried, I couldn't change my hair and skin color by wishing. Dye yes, but the red I really love clashes with my skin, so I gave up on that decades ago and just enjoy seeing it on other people.

Quixii
March 31st, 2015, 06:40 PM
Also chiming in that I'm growing my hair out for me, regardless of how often it's in a bun. :) I really like that long hair is so easy to put up and out of the way. I'm not a huge fan of hair in my face, and I love that buns solve that problem, and that with long hair I have a several buns I can accomplish in less than a minute.
But even if no one else sees it down, I know it's there. I enjoy it when I'm detangling it or washing it, when I take it down to put it back up. Sometimes it feels like my beautiful little secret. And I know I could randomly decide to wear it down at any moment, and it'll look awesome when I do, because I've spent years working on it!
Plus, hair this long gets attention when it's down. I'm really glad I can decide whether I'm up for dealing with that attention, and style my hair accordingly.

Fairina
March 31st, 2015, 07:00 PM
Okay so i've been debating asking this one since it seems like it may be a touchy subject and I hope this doesn't offend anyone!

I feel like larger/heavier women often times have thicker more luxurious hair and that their skin glows more compared to thinner especially very thin women. I know as a thinner woman who struggles to eat most days, my skin almost never glows it's quite dull no matter what brighteners and oils I use and my hair is much thinner than when I was at a bigger weight (used to be 140lbs I am now 104lbs).

Is there anything scientific about why this is? Is it higher fat diets or just higher everything diets? Or am I just crazy thinking I notice a difference?

DreamSheep
March 31st, 2015, 07:37 PM
Regarding the bun question - when I had short hair I loved to have it out of my face, so that is the reason I like pulling it back and putting it up - but with the added bonus of it looks really elegant and I get to use cool toys.
I like wearing it down a lot when it isn;t going to get tangled or in the way of my life, so I guess it is like having a secret option that I can unleash whenever I want, but doesn't mean I have to all the time.


As for hair thickness and body size... [[going to add big TW for eating disorders]]
Maybe you aren't eating enough, or not eating enough of the right things? I mean, obviously, when we eat more we may also be getting more nutrients and vitamins and protein that aids in hair growth, whereas when the body is deprived, it is going to cut off supply to less important areas, such as our hair.
So if anything, it would suggest maybe you aren't eating enough, or maybe your body prefers to be at a slightly higher weight? I'm a tiny person and I think I'm heavier than 104lbs - not saying you aren't, but you aren't trying to diet to stay lighter when your body might need more?

On the topic of weight, I think it is definitely a function of diet and genetics. I was an extremely tiny person as a child (I hated eating and was extremely underweight, with a BMI of 13), but my hair was as thick as it is today, maybe even more so (I remember barely being able to get my hand around my ponytail). Although I didn't eat that much, I did eat very well - my mother made the best meals that were very balanced, and despite being superskinny I was very healthy.
Fortunately I am now at a healthy weight, and still eating well. So overall fullness potential (how many follicles you have) is likely congenital and genetic, but whether you get your hair to its maximal health will also depend on how good your diet and health is.

Kina
March 31st, 2015, 07:46 PM
Okay so i've been debating asking this one since it seems like it may be a touchy subject and I hope this doesn't offend anyone!

I feel like larger/heavier women often times have thicker more luxurious hair and that their skin glows more compared to thinner especially very thin women. I know as a thinner woman who struggles to eat most days, my skin almost never glows it's quite dull no matter what brighteners and oils I use and my hair is much thinner than when I was at a bigger weight (used to be 140lbs I am now 104lbs).

Is there anything scientific about why this is? Is it higher fat diets or just higher everything diets? Or am I just crazy thinking I notice a difference?

I don't think the question is necessarily awkward, but the answer might not be what you're looking for. If you don't eat well, in sufficient quantities, then you're hair will not grow well, and you're skin will suffer. It's a nutrition issue.

Thinking about this, it may also be why I'm experiencing a lot of new growth, the lightbulb just clicked. I lost about 25 pounds and was barely eating enough to stay alive. I'm now eating regularly and more nutritiously, which can explain the new growth.

Chromis
March 31st, 2015, 08:03 PM
Ok so what are "only natural read head aproved colours"? And what on earth does it have to do with genetics?
Im really curious really, please enlighten me!

And an akward question I get many times: so, some people will grow their hair loooong but allways keep it up , is it so that you can have more intrincate buns? Because if it is allways up you dont feel the lenght. I am not talking about who wears it up to protected untill their goal.

Because.

Also, why not?

Sarahlabyrinth
March 31st, 2015, 08:20 PM
Also chiming in that I'm growing my hair out for me, regardless of how often it's in a bun. :) I really like that long hair is so easy to put up and out of the way. I'm not a huge fan of hair in my face, and I love that buns solve that problem, and that with long hair I have a several buns I can accomplish in less than a minute.
But even if no one else sees it down, I know it's there. I enjoy it when I'm detangling it or washing it, when I take it down to put it back up. Sometimes it feels like my beautiful little secret. And I know I could randomly decide to wear it down at any moment, and it'll look awesome when I do, because I've spent years working on it!
Plus, hair this long gets attention when it's down. I'm really glad I can decide whether I'm up for dealing with that attention, and style my hair accordingly.

This. It is such fun having "secret" long hair. I mean, obviously people can see that you have long hair, but they can't see how long it is.

EdG
March 31st, 2015, 08:43 PM
Plus, hair this long gets attention when it's down. I'm really glad I can decide whether I'm up for dealing with that attention, and style my hair accordingly.


This. It is such fun having "secret" long hair. I mean, obviously people can see that you have long hair, but they can't see how long it is.I have discovered this too. With my hair up in a bun, I can pass for nearly normal. ;)
Ed

YvetteVarie
April 1st, 2015, 01:40 AM
Okay so i've been debating asking this one since it seems like it may be a touchy subject and I hope this doesn't offend anyone!

I feel like larger/heavier women often times have thicker more luxurious hair and that their skin glows more compared to thinner especially very thin women. I know as a thinner woman who struggles to eat most days, my skin almost never glows it's quite dull no matter what brighteners and oils I use and my hair is much thinner than when I was at a bigger weight (used to be 140lbs I am now 104lbs).

Is there anything scientific about why this is? Is it higher fat diets or just higher everything diets? Or am I just crazy thinking I notice a difference?

Well, I lost a drastic amount of weight last year, and my hair grew longer (almost to BSL befre I trimmed split ends). I think its all about the nutrients. I am a picky eater, and I skip meals when I get home and see what has been made for dinner is one of my no-no foods. But I do try to have a lot of protein, fruit and vegetables to make up for that. I am still finding it hard to gain weight, but I can see my hair is still as thick and long as ever

theoperative
April 1st, 2015, 02:09 AM
This. It is such fun having "secret" long hair. I mean, obviously people can see that you have long hair, but they can't see how long it is.

This is my favorite aspect about buns/up-dos aside from how they look on you girls….the mystery factor ;)

Sarahlabyrinth
April 1st, 2015, 02:18 AM
This is my favorite aspect about buns/up-dos aside from how they look on you girls….the mystery factor ;)

Hehe I love playing the how-long-is-the-hair game as well. The fun with my hair is that I can compact it into a reasonably small bun, or bun more loosely and have a real head-eating bun!

theoperative
April 1st, 2015, 02:35 AM
Hehe I love playing the how-long-is-the-hair game as well. The fun with my hair is that I can compact it into a reasonably small bun, or bun more loosely and have a real head-eating bun!

Do you ever just really tease people who ask how long with a response like ….."well I bet you would really like to know, wouldn't you?" then a wry smile and refusing the answer….;)

butter52
April 1st, 2015, 02:35 AM
I didnt mean it in the way of decorating others worlds but in decorating your own :P

I see its a different feeling from what i experienced, so that is why I didnt underestand it. When I had waist lenght hair it bothered me so much ( detangling the curls was torture, and it has life on its own and went in my face) so I had it up allways until I decided that If I wasnt going to enjoy it, I might as well rock a tangle free pixie.

But again that is me which I keep my pretty underwear for special occasions LOL

butter52
April 1st, 2015, 02:38 AM
About makeup...sorry but everybody has makeup they can wear and makeup that looks terrible depending on skin tone and hair colour ( natural or not) ...i dont underestand this snow flake thing about natural redheads, sorry...

Wosie
April 1st, 2015, 02:39 AM
When my hair was shorter and before I was a member of the LHC, I also thought it was odd when people constantly wore their long hair in buns.

Now I think it's the most logical thing ever. :laugh: It's really comfortable! It doesn't tangle, it's right where you want it to be. Also, personally my hair is rather... personal to me. After having worn my hair in buns and braids 95-100% of the time I spend my time outdoors (for over a year now) I feel a little shy and uncomfortable about wearing it loose around people I don't know these days.

It's nice that you can choose whether to wear it up or down, especially when you've gotten good at making buns/braids. :3
I also liked the term "beautiful little secret" that Quixii coined, that's rather how I want to think about it as well. :thumbsup:

Mimha
April 1st, 2015, 05:04 AM
The best way I can explain it, for me, is that it's a bit like wearing nice underwear. I don't have to wear unflattering underwear when I go out just because no one else can see it, and even though people can't see the underwear itself, well-fitting underwear makes my clothes hang better. I don't have to cut off my hair just because I don't usually show it off in public, and even if people can't see the length my updos look better for it. Ultimately, it isn't there for you to look at, and just because I don't let you see it, doesn't mean nobody else ever gets to.

Would you ask somebody who covers their hair why they bother having hair at all? I doubt most people would, and yet the question is basically the same. It all comes down to "if you don't let me look at it, why do you have it?" as if people can't have things purely for their own enjoyment.

So much agree with this !!...

I have had long to very long hair the major part of my life. Not because I wanted it as long as possible to impress the people, but because it was... how may I say... "part of me". I don't feel completely me without my hair. I have kept it bunned 90% of the time, whatever the trend, because my hair was long, and a bun was a very practical way to keep it out of the way. And also because it was an intimate thing. I knew it is eye catching when it's long, and I did not feel like I wanted "to be looked at" like a bizarre animal. But when for some reason I felt like showing off my treasure, it was there ! :) ... And at home also, available for me and my beloved one to enjoy every day, "far from the madding crowd" :cloud9:

Many years later, I spent a part of my life in Arab countries. I felt so much comfortable about this over there !... Almost all ladies have beautiful long to very long hair bunned under their scarf. But you can only see it in the privacy of their homes. I remember how much we enjoyed it : sharing advices on hair treatment, updos, different scarves and religion, comparing our buns^^ and dancing with our hair down, swinging it and flipping it in rhythm !... It was a lot of fun ! :)

Haylz
April 1st, 2015, 05:35 AM
It reads very nice Mimha
I never had really short hair and always wore a ponytail

Only in the German forum I learned buns and now I can not live without

It is simple , and I also do not like my hair responding ( classic + )

"The little secret" hits the nail :thumbsup:

Rosetta
April 1st, 2015, 06:33 AM
"Secret hair" is definitely not for me, to me long hair is for flaunting ;) Well, maybe not quite flaunting, but it's such an important part of me & my identity, I don't feel fully myself in public without my hair visible... (Though at home I nearly always wear it up.)

Mimha
April 1st, 2015, 06:42 AM
"Secret hair" is definitely not for me, to me long hair is for flaunting ;) Well, maybe not quite flaunting, but it's such an important part of me & my identity, I don't feel fully myself in public without my hair visible... (Though at home I nearly always wear it up.)

Lol. Long hair always finds a good reason to be precious, even in the total opposite way ! ;)

chen bao jun
April 1st, 2015, 10:41 AM
About makeup...sorry but everybody has makeup they can wear and makeup that looks terrible depending on skin tone and hair colour ( natural or not) ...i dont underestand this snow flake thing about natural redheads, sorry...

everyone has colors that look good and colors that don't, that's obvious. But natural redheads really do have a much more limited amount of colors that look good on them than other people. MUCH more limited, and when you add to that that many of the colors that DO flatter them are not flattering to most other people so are not often found in the stores, they have problems finding flattering clothes and makeup that are difficult for others to understand. the point of the discussion before was that people who dye their hair red don't run into these problems because dyeing your hair can change the colors that flatter you--slightly. but you still have the same skin, eyes, etc. so a dyed redhead would not be limited in color choices like a natural one and could certainly still wear black mascara, for instance, which really does make natural redheads look like they died and came back as a corpse.

Nobody's saying that its wrong to dye your hair or that dyed red hair is unattractive (there are many many people on this forum who prove that wrong), the OP was complaining because a dyed redhead was arguing with a group of natural redheads that they could wear the things that she can wear, which they CAN'T and of course, they were finding that difficult to deal with. and when they pointed out that she didn't actually know what she was talking about, she got offended, insisting that her having dyed her hair made her just as much of a redhead as they are and that therefore, what she can do (because she's not natural), they ought to be able to do, too.

If you don't understand how this would be frustrating and annoying, butter52, then just forget about it. Its not something that it is important for non-redheaded people to worry about. And its not a complaint (I don't think). when a natural redheaded person IS in the right color, nobody looks more striking, its not jsut a wonderful hair color (which is why so many people dye to achieve it) but the combination of things, eye color, skin tone, the way their eyebrows and eyelashes look is unique and beautiful. Yes, its a genetic mutation (which is why its so extremely rare) and yes there are other drawbacks (like the pain thing) but its definitely something that decorates the world, in a good sense.

chen bao jun
April 1st, 2015, 10:51 AM
I guess I mostly prefer the 'secret hair' thing but its nice to have to have it there to take out for special occasions. Its not that I'm shy but I do have a hair type that gets in the way--and I also have a hairtype that means I get constant attention when its out, whether its long or short. People can't keep away from it and cant keep their hands out of it. so its nice to be able to hide and just go on with my life.
I think I wrote last year about the lady who just had to tug on my ringlet curls (without asking, and I didn't know her from Adam) and who left a 3 inch long bleeding scratch on my forehead from her fingernails?
and the so-called 'professionals' who were taking a group photograph with me on one of the corporate boards I was on, one of whom or several of whom, I don't know, were playing in my hair when my back was turned towards them because I was facing the camera, but all of whom looked blank and innocent when I turned around to try to see who the heck was being so obtrusive and RUDE.
A person gets tired of constant incidents like that, although yes, they are certainly compliments, in a warped kind of way. a person can even get tired of constantly having to smile and say thank you, thank you, thank you all day for the curly compliments from all and sundry and just want to get about their business and be ignored. Not that a person is ungrateful or doesn't appreciate having hair that is appealing. It's jsut--a person gets tired.

butter52
April 1st, 2015, 10:57 AM
Chen Bao is not that I dont want to underestand why it would be frustrating. I was trying to underestand why it would be more frustating to readheads than any other eyes-skin-hair combo.

chen bao jun
April 1st, 2015, 01:31 PM
Chen Bao is not that I dont want to underestand why it would be frustrating. I was trying to underestand why it would be more frustating to readheads than any other eyes-skin-hair combo.

maybe they just pretend they have special issues because they have a deep need to be even MORE special and unique and complain so they can draw even more attention to themselves than they already get.

Or maybe it's because not only does bright orange or noticeably dark red hair already clash with half the colors in the world just by itself, but you have no choice but to wear only gold and yellow based tones (cutting out even more colors) but you are also always so extremely fair skinned and white (and unable to tan to fix it) that most of the rest of the color choices left are too draining and harsh. So that you are left basically with beige, cream, yellow, green, certain but not all blues and with viOlet. And t h at yellow may well make your skin look funky too. And that's really it. It's as eye opening an experience to try to dress a natural redhead as it was for me as a right handed person to move into a left handed house. My husband never used to complain much about the inconveniences of everything always being in places it's not comfortable to reach for a lefty in a right handed world, but boy did I find out.

If you dye your hair to some shade of red and you are not redheaded, the only thing that changes is that some colors will now clash with your new hair. You won't have to move to the gold based colors and to brown, unless you are already there and you won't be hit the extreme fair skin question and your choices of color will narrow, but not to close to nothing.

I'm not a redhead and I have no skin in this game. I'm just a person who has kind of fallen into helping people get dressed in a way that flatters them, all differ kinds of people and as you say, every kind of person has some thing they cannot wea r and things that have to watch, but natural redheads (I live in a pocket of the US where there are, not a lot, there are never alot, but there are more than the normal amount here) truly are limited with what they can do, more than the rest of us. While it's not harder to dress a dyed redhead than it is to dress anyone else. That's what I've found.

I don't why it is that nowadays so many people feel the need to insist that we are really all the same in every way. It's just not true. It doesn't make people better or worse than other people to accept the fact that we aren't the same and some categories of people do have special issues.

gwenalyn
April 1st, 2015, 02:23 PM
Okay, this makes sense. But I don't see how this is harmful. I've seen shy girls with long hair do this, and its sort of charming looking. There's nothing wrong with being shy, in my opinion and all that would happen if she got a haircut, she would still be shy with short hair (and would probably find something else to hide behind, a baseball cap, an open book...


I don't think we disagree! My point was, "hiding behind your hair" does not mean "get a haircut". Sometimes it just means, as you point out, that the person is obviously shy and maybe lacks confidence (other than in their hair).


About makeup...sorry but everybody has makeup they can wear and makeup that looks terrible depending on skin tone and hair colour ( natural or not) ...i dont underestand this snow flake thing about natural redheads, sorry...



everyone has colors that look good and colors that don't, that's obvious. But natural redheads really do have a much more limited amount of colors that look good on them than other people. MUCH more limited, and when you add to that that many of the colors that DO flatter them are not flattering to most other people so are not often found in the stores, they have problems finding flattering clothes and makeup that are difficult for others to understand. the point of the discussion before was that people who dye their hair red don't run into these problems because dyeing your hair can change the colors that flatter you--slightly. but you still have the same skin, eyes, etc. so a dyed redhead would not be limited in color choices like a natural one and could certainly still wear black mascara, for instance, which really does make natural redheads look like they died and came back as a corpse.

<snip>

Or maybe it's because not only does bright orange or noticeably dark red hair already clash with half the colors in the world just by itself, but you have no choice but to wear only gold and yellow based tones (cutting out even more colors) but you are also always so extremely fair skinned and white (and unable to tan to fix it) that most of the rest of the color choices left are too draining and harsh. So that you are left basically with beige, cream, yellow, green, certain but not all blues and with viOlet. And t h at yellow may well make your skin look funky too.


Said it better than I could! (Though I really like the red hair/pale skin/black mascara combo, personally.)

I'm not a natural redhead, but I definitely get it--I'm half-Asian, and sometimes it feels like all the makeup and makeup advice is targeted toward white people, so it's a delight when I find stuff that caters to me! The usual cool/warm skin tone tests don't work right, because of the common yellow undertones, and Asian eye makeup tutorials often have stuff about uneven eyes, and so on. It's been nice to see Asian makeup brands moving into the American market.

chen bao jun
April 1st, 2015, 04:38 PM
Oh, yeah, its always lovely to find stuff that caters to you. I remember when they didn't used to make makeup specifically for black women (or nylon stockings/pantyhose) and then they did--how exciting everyone found it. In my case, I can wear white people makeup just fine in terms of the colors (I have severe allergies but that's another story) so it didn't make a difference in my life, but I definitely saw how it did for other people. a lot of women who had used to be unattractive were suddenly attractive, to explain it briefly.

I lived in Asia for quite some time and I could see that there was a lot more variety there of suitable makeup for the various Asian skintones, although at the time when I was there, the thing was to be as white as possible, so the Taiwanese girls (it was Taiwan where I was) didn't care about matching makeup to their actual skin tone, the goal was to have a white face, even if your neck was so brown right underneath it that it looked like you had a mask on. this was some time ago, though (30 plus years) so probably that no longer applies. (I rather hope not, though just because it looked ridiculous to me didn't mean it was wrong or anything like that).

I have no problem finding a makeup base that suits me in Asian makeup either (Shisheido used to have some good colors for me, though again, the allergy thing got me), nor do I have problems finding a flattering lipstick or blush color. I basically can do anything that suits an olive-skinned person with yellow undertones and there are such people in a whole lot of different ethnic groups, including white people in America, obviously, so I never need any 'specialty' anything. Which is extremely lucky and convenient, obviously, and I appreciate it. For a while when they first started making makeup specifically for black people (anybody remember Ebony Fashion Fair brand? I think that was the first), I was in the odd position that that was the ONLY kind I couldn't wear, because at first they didn't bother to have shades for very light-skinned black people (since they figured we already had choices). But they soon realized that that was causing them to lose money by not serving part of their potential market base, and they expanded so that I could wear that, too.

If I want to bother to wear eye makeup though (I don't always, I'm even more allergic to eye makeup than the rest of the panoply)) I need to get makeup made for Caucasians if I want something that's actually flattering, because I have hazel eyes that turn into green eyes quite often and and that's not common in other ethnic groups at all. In Taiwan this eye color basically didn't exist and I can count on my ten fingers the amount of other black people I know who have this eye color, or any other eye color than either brown, dark brown or black. But fortunately, since I live in the US and its not an uncommon color for the mainstream group here obviously (most people being white) I can go to the drugstore and find dozens of choices of color palettes made specifically for hazel and green eyes.

So if only I didn't have allergies/sensitive skin....

Its always nice to have choices, I can't understand wishing to be limited just to be able to say you're special, I wish the world could be so that everyone was accomodated with the things that suit them and could find them easily...the world is unfair that way. Its too bad that marketers so often don't think of the money they could make by expanding what they offered so that more kinds of people have what suits them, or else don't think the money would they would make to be worth the extra trouble.

DizzyGinger
April 2nd, 2015, 12:14 AM
As a natural redhead, I HAVE to address the subject.

It's been one of my biggest pet peeves my entire life that 1, people seem to think all redheads share the same coloring and need the same solutions, and 2, that we are limited in any way in our choice of colors. NOT TRUE. I don't understand how this misunderstanding started, but so many people believe redheads are limited to a certain range of colors...especially warm and golden tones.

The colors we look good in is mostly determined by our skin tone and how it interacts with the color. Skin tones are wide and varied. There are natural redheads in every ethnicity, from Spain to Scotland, China to Ethiopia. Just like every other hair color! Some are warmer, some are cooler, and some (like me) are neutral. You can't say pink looks bad - you just need the right shade for you. Yellow, violet...there are a million shades of them all. It's impossible to generalize like that...every color works for every person, they just need the right shade of it.

We are in NO WAY more limited than other hair colors. These days, makeup comes in every color you can imagine. If you go into the store thinking 'Redheads can't wear pink' you won't try it and you'll never know. My best advice to redheads is that despite having a rare color in common, we are all totally different, and no rule applies to everyone, especially not the idea that we have a smaller palette of color available to us.

Every person has colors that aren't good on them, colors that are unremarkable, and colors that look great. Just cause you have red hair...we are like everyone else. We just aren't as common.

This gets me riled up obviously because I felt weird as a kid/teenager being different and then on top of it being told that I had less options than others. Once I let go of that idea, I felt a lot better about myself, my hair color, my wardrobe, and my makeup.

mewmew
April 2nd, 2015, 07:27 AM
Whenever I hear "hiding behind one's hair", my mind immediately goes to Violet in The Incredibles.

At the beginning of the film, she has a shy, withdrawn personality, and she uses her hair as a shield to keep people from noticing her (pic: http://images6.fanpop.com/image/polls/1148000/1148229_1353972942938_full.jpg)

And by the end, she's become more confident and doesn't feel the need to "hide behind her hair" anymore (pic: http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/pixar/images/1/11/Violet_at_the_carnival.png)

^_^

FuzzyBlackWaves
April 2nd, 2015, 11:49 AM
For me, growing long hair was a way to show myself, not to hide. I used to try and stay in control of my hair at all times, smoothing out the natural fuzzy waves, chopping and blow drying to keep it even. Growing out my hair in it's natural state has been a way for me to go 'this is who I'm supposed to be and I'm not going to try and cut myself off anymore'.

As for colouring, I really don't believe in one size fits all. I think a lot of these 'rules' force people into wearing shades they don't like and maybe don't even actually suit because it makes them 'more attractive'. Some stylists, I believe, try to make attractiveness into this objective set of criteria that people have to meet. What they neglect to realize is that humanity is not a science that can be contained in formulas and colour palettes. There are so many different factors, influences, and even just exceptions that can change what does or does not 'fit' someone. Even then, the outcome is subjective, entirely reliant upon culture and aesthetic taste. People are not mannequins for style and we can not be made into some uniform conceptualization of the 'ideal', no matter how many 'ideals' you create to try and make it seem like some individualistic thing rather than the giant corporate mess that it is.

gwenalyn
April 2nd, 2015, 03:48 PM
As a natural redhead, I HAVE to address the subject.

It's been one of my biggest pet peeves my entire life that 1, people seem to think all redheads share the same coloring and need the same solutions, and 2, that we are limited in any way in our choice of colors. NOT TRUE. I don't understand how this misunderstanding started, but so many people believe redheads are limited to a certain range of colors...especially warm and golden tones.

The colors we look good in is mostly determined by our skin tone and how it interacts with the color. Skin tones are wide and varied. There are natural redheads in every ethnicity, from Spain to Scotland, China to Ethiopia. Just like every other hair color! Some are warmer, some are cooler, and some (like me) are neutral. You can't say pink looks bad - you just need the right shade for you. Yellow, violet...there are a million shades of them all. It's impossible to generalize like that...every color works for every person, they just need the right shade of it.

We are in NO WAY more limited than other hair colors. These days, makeup comes in every color you can imagine. If you go into the store thinking 'Redheads can't wear pink' you won't try it and you'll never know. My best advice to redheads is that despite having a rare color in common, we are all totally different, and no rule applies to everyone, especially not the idea that we have a smaller palette of color available to us.

Every person has colors that aren't good on them, colors that are unremarkable, and colors that look great. Just cause you have red hair...we are like everyone else. We just aren't as common.

This gets me riled up obviously because I felt weird as a kid/teenager being different and then on top of it being told that I had less options than others. Once I let go of that idea, I felt a lot better about myself, my hair color, my wardrobe, and my makeup.

You're right! I tried to be specific about it being particularly the red hair/pale skin/freckles phenotype (what we think of when we think of redheaded Irish people) but I was imprecise with my words. Thank you for the reminder not to generalize!

Arctic
April 2nd, 2015, 05:03 PM
I have a new question. I don't know if it's really awkward, but let's put it here.

I have seen many members mentioning over the years how their hair breaks things, like combs, brushes, elastics, hairsticks and so on.

I understand the hairtypes and people and the objects themselves are all different, and that often hair's thickness and/or curliness (and length and heaviness) seems to play a part in this.

However I have terribly hard time "seeing" it with my mind's eye. I have never broken anything hair related apart from normal wear and tear of age and usage. I don't think even a tine of a comb has even broken from me. I have never seen IRL hair so thick/curly/heavy/invincible, that objects would break into atoms aften getting a glimpse of it :D

Now how does this breaking down actually happen to you, whom have experienced this phenomena? What's your hair type, thinness-thickness, length, fineness-coarseness, straightness-curlyness? Were the objects new or old? What was the situation like when the object broke? Does this happen often? Has your hair always done this, even at different lengths/other variables? Do you think the object was of correct calibre/material compared to your hair stats (like big enough elastics)?

lapushka
April 2nd, 2015, 05:35 PM
But...

If you want to chop your hair, fry it with bleach, color it, heat style it and/or otherwise abuse it, don't cry to me that it won't grow. I support and respect your right to do any and all of those things with your hair. It's YOUR HAIR (you is a generic term, by the way, I'm not directing any of this towards any individual). I just think that if you are going to do all that stuff to your hair, own it. Don't whine to me and tell me you could NEVER grow your hair as long as mine because it just doesn't grow, or that you're going to get extensions until your hair gets to whatever imagined length is perfect. If you really, truly want long hair you have to commit to it. You have to be steadfast in your resolve to not cave in to whatever the trend is, or whatver your mother/sister/boyfriend/coworker thinks about long hair and what would look good on you. It's YOUR HAIR. Grow it or don't, but be happy with it.

ETA: sorry for the rant. Strong feelings about this.

So, so true! Thanks for saying this. :) I once never got past BSL, but my hair was bleached, treated with henna, and chemical dye. My eyes only opened when I had a hair disaster (chemical cut/burn). Since then I've been all virgin, and I'm TBL+ right now. Yes, it is all about the patience and the commitment.

lapushka
April 2nd, 2015, 05:36 PM
I have a new question. I don't know if it's really awkward, but let's put it here.

I have seen many members mentioning over the years how their hair breaks things, like combs, brushes, elastics, hairsticks and so on.

I understand the hairtypes and people and the objects themselves are all different, and that often hair's thickness and/or curliness (and length and heaviness) seems to play a part in this.

However I have terribly hard time "seeing" it with my mind's eye. I have never broken anything hair related apart from normal wear and tear of age and usage. I don't think even a tine of a comb has even broken from me. I have never seen IRL hair so thick/curly/heavy/invincible, that objects would break into atoms aften getting a glimpse of it :D

Now how does this breaking down actually happen to you, whom have experienced this phenomena? What's your hair type, thinness-thickness, length, fineness-coarseness, straightness-curlyness? Were the objects new or old? What was the situation like when the object broke? Does this happen often? Has your hair always done this, even at different lengths/other variables? Do you think the object was of correct calibre/material compared to your hair stats (like big enough elastics)?

I've only ever had stuff break from being dropped on the floor (teeth of claw clips - notorious).

ashke50
April 2nd, 2015, 06:54 PM
I have a new question. I don't know if it's really awkward, but let's put it here.

I have seen many members mentioning over the years how their hair breaks things, like combs, brushes, elastics, hairsticks and so on.

I understand the hairtypes and people and the objects themselves are all different, and that often hair's thickness and/or curliness (and length and heaviness) seems to play a part in this.

However I have terribly hard time "seeing" it with my mind's eye. I have never broken anything hair related apart from normal wear and tear of age and usage. I don't think even a tine of a comb has even broken from me. I have never seen IRL hair so thick/curly/heavy/invincible, that objects would break into atoms aften getting a glimpse of it :D

Now how does this breaking down actually happen to you, whom have experienced this phenomena? What's your hair type, thinness-thickness, length, fineness-coarseness, straightness-curlyness? Were the objects new or old? What was the situation like when the object broke? Does this happen often? Has your hair always done this, even at different lengths/other variables? Do you think the object was of correct calibre/material compared to your hair stats (like big enough elastics)?

My hair has only broken one thing - a fairly cheap plastic hair stick. I applied too much pressure to it when putting my hair up in a bun and snapped the end off. I don't think my hair could break a comb, or anything like that, but I am a lot more careful not to apply too much force to my hair toys now.

neko_kawaii
April 2nd, 2015, 09:25 PM
I have two sticks my hair could conceivably break. My mom made them and I suspect they are as thin as they are because she was using them as an exercise in turning ridiculously thin long things on her lathe. I use them seldom and very very carefully.

Aurum
April 2nd, 2015, 09:52 PM
I once broke a mirror from my startling ugliness... Err, I dropped it on the floor. ;)
I don't think I've ever broken anything else hair related, and I'm not sure where the people who have are hiding.

DreamSheep
April 3rd, 2015, 01:57 AM
I have a new question. I don't know if it's really awkward, but let's put it here.

I have seen many members mentioning over the years how their hair breaks things, like combs, brushes, elastics, hairsticks and so on.

I understand the hairtypes and people and the objects themselves are all different, and that often hair's thickness and/or curliness (and length and heaviness) seems to play a part in this.

However I have terribly hard time "seeing" it with my mind's eye. I have never broken anything hair related apart from normal wear and tear of age and usage. I don't think even a tine of a comb has even broken from me. I have never seen IRL hair so thick/curly/heavy/invincible, that objects would break into atoms aften getting a glimpse of it :D

Now how does this breaking down actually happen to you, whom have experienced this phenomena? What's your hair type, thinness-thickness, length, fineness-coarseness, straightness-curlyness? Were the objects new or old? What was the situation like when the object broke? Does this happen often? Has your hair always done this, even at different lengths/other variables? Do you think the object was of correct calibre/material compared to your hair stats (like big enough elastics)?
I've broken stuff...

(my hair is very thick, 2a waviness, and actually I'd daresay almost 2b-2c on washday..., but very fine in texture)

Elastic bands - I think they all break eventually, at least the ones I buy, which are Primark 50 for £1 kind of deal, so I'm not expecting any to be incredibly durable or anything. However, with thicker hair they get stretched much more which exerts more tensile strength on the band inside, thus they snap sooner. Also having a bf who likes pinging them around doesn't help.
Combs - I used to break tines when I was younger and careless.
Claw clips - it wasn't my hair but my wrist... I had this marvellous Boots claw clip that was thick enough to go round my wrist and hold more or less all of my hair. However, I'm a fidgety person and spent all day opening and closing it till I snapped the spring out.
Hairsticks - I broke my very first hairstick (a chopstick) because I applied too much lever force. Now I am super careful inserting things, but I can sometimes feel the strain on the hairstick/hairfork (though in the case of hairfork, because my hair is fine, my strands usually break first :( ). The other one I broke was terribly designed (as thin as a skewer stick), so that came as no surprise. Took me a while to fish the little bits of wood out again...

...and one I had nearly forgotten about, an XL Flexi-8.
I don't even know how this happened, I switched between a ponytail and a sort of nauthilus bun, and it just broke. :( RIP Flexi. I think it was defective.

two_wheels
April 3rd, 2015, 04:23 AM
I've broken a few forks and countless elastics. My hair isn't remotely impressive in terms of thickness/texture, though some of the strands are coarse and it sort of grows in different directions in places. Once I was definitely pushing it into hair that was too tightly coiled- my bad. The other times, well, I just put them in as normal- in fact one of the times I was deliberately doing it loosely, and then random snap, goodbye fork :( I think my hair encourages the tines to separate? I really wasn't doing it tightly at all, after the first breakage. They were good quality too.

Elastics just start getting a thin spot then eventually they break :shrug:

Ava Ruu
April 3rd, 2015, 05:36 AM
As a kid I used to love plastic hairbrushes that had the spikes attached to a soft rubbery part that is attached to the frame of the brush. (Does this type of brushes have a name? This is the kind that comes to my mind first when I think of a hairbrush.) I always managed to rip out the rubbery part when brushing my hair. I do not think that a single brush survived. I did not dare to use such brushes for years, but now have one for traveling (rarely used). It is only missing a couple of spikes. I have also had several plastic brushes with spikes attached directly to the frame, as well as ordinary combs. They end up losing their spikes, too.

I also go through ponytail holders. They tend to stretch too much near the joining part and eventually break. Too small ones break really quickly, only after a few uses. The size I usually wore to keep my hair up lasted for maybe a month before breaking. If I only use ponytail holders to finish a braid they seem to last much longer, but they overstretch eventually, too.

I also seem to break a couple of pins every time I make a bun. Bobby pins either open too much, or the legs of the pin end up next to each other instead of being on top of each other. The legs of U-pins tend to bend at random angles. Clips with springs have also not been very durable.

I have broken new and old things, stuff I liked and others I did not care for, my own and borrowed. I think that the weight of my hair causes part of the breaking, and because I have a lot of hair it is easy to try put too much of it into pins and clips and such. There would probably be less broken things if I paid more attention and was better at using them, though.

embee
April 3rd, 2015, 07:10 AM
My hair is not thick or curly or in any way "tough" but I have broken some things. One was an attractive (plastic) hairstick a friend gave me. Made me very sad. Also some plastic hairforks (really huge hairpins) that couldn't deal with long hair. Not sure what they were for, they were so darn delicate. ;) Now my toys are wood or diamondwood or acrylic.

Charybdis
April 3rd, 2015, 07:32 AM
There's a "kill list" thread somewhere around here where people have listed out things their hair has destroyed. I've had numerous elastics break, the plastic spring mounts in claw clips give way (including on an XL octopus clip), and one acrylic hair stick break (but I'm pretty sure that was due to the flake pattern creating a weak point in the material that was unfortunately placed). U-shaped hairpins that are not specifically intended for thick hair (http://www.sallybeauty.com/hair-pins/STARTE1,default,pd.html) get mangled in my hair; and, while they can be straightened back out, they are completely useless.

I'm very careful with my TT because I heard it give an ominous faint creak one time as I was inserting it. I've seen some forks and sticks on Etsy (like this one (https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/213130782/sono-wood-hair-stick-double-pick-w-moon?ref=market)) that I would never buy because they would definitely break if I inserted them into a bun with enough torque exerted on the stick to actually hold the bun in place.

It's all about selecting a toy that is suitable to your hair type -- unfortunately, the thicker your hair, the more you have to pay attention to durability when selecting hair toys.

Arctic
April 3rd, 2015, 10:14 AM
Thanks for all the replies!

Yes I have seen the Kill list thread, and even posted in it :) ...with similar thoughts as I posted here.

Sounds like the normal aging, wear and tear, breaking because items getting dropped, too small/fragile/wrong type of toys/tools for the hair in question, etc, might be big reasons behind the phenomena.

Yes my bobby pins can bend too, I just don't consider that as my hair breaking them. It most often because how I handle and insert them, and normal wear with usage. I get lot of mileage out of one bobby pin, and have to buy them quite rarely - and I use lots of them. Claw clips are very fragile by nature, especially the minis, and those tend not be very long lasting on me, but I don't think it's my hair that breaks them, it's just the plastic teeth gets tired and snap easily. That being said, I still have few mini claw clips that are over 10 years old. :) I personally have never snapped an elastic, but I can see how the elastic gets weak and over-stretched with time. I usually throw mine away when they stretch, and stick to sizes that suit my thickness (which doesn't take much, lol!). I even have some U-shaped pins that used to belong my late mom in the 1960s! Plastic as a material is not very durable, whether it's sticks or claw clips or other toys/ornaments.

It's interesting subject! Ha ha, for some reason I'd like to see how a brush that breaks down in pieces after one use looks like :D

Hairkay
April 3rd, 2015, 11:16 AM
Our family would get sturdy combs but when visiting others or having forgot a comb there'd be these cheap, brittle fine tooth combs that would break (either the teeth, handle or whole comb) after attempting to pass it through some hair just once.

I'd also seen other children using ring combs so I finally got some as a teen just to try them out. I put them in with a lot of effort. They went flying off, some had snapped off teeth. I had to accept they were not for thick hair.

Arctic
April 3rd, 2015, 11:22 AM
Oh yes, I can see a flimsy fine toothed comb on thick and dense curly hair is a death sentence to the comb. Many of the people who have brushes and combs breaking seem to be curlies, so hair type is probably a big factor!

Are ring combs the kind of circular, hard (often plastic) ponytail holders, that have tines inside and hinges, and the snap close around the ponytail?

Hairkay
April 3rd, 2015, 11:34 AM
Oh yes, I can see a flimsy fine toothed comb on thick and dense curly hair is a death sentence to the comb. Many of the people who have brushes and combs breaking seem to be curlies, so hair type is probably a big factor!
Yes 3s and 4s hair types are hard on flimsy combs




Are ring combs the kind of circular, hard (often plastic) ponytail holders, that have tines inside and hinges, and the snap close around the ponytail?

Yes, those are ring combs see https://uk.images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A9mSs3b.zh5VgjYA3xZLBQx.;_ylu=X3oDMTBs YWhiN2NvBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2lyMgR2dGlkAw--?_adv_prop=image&fr=mcafee&va=ring+combs

DizzyGinger
April 3rd, 2015, 02:20 PM
I think I already know the answer to this but I'll ask anyway...

Does no one consider extensions whole growing out for any particular reason? I feel like extensions is a taboo word here lol.

I'd always thought once my hair was long enough to grip them that I'd try them, but since being on this site, I'm thinking I may not do that. I admire the fierce dedication the people have on this site to growing healthy hair. There's also a general...natural-ness? And I think I like that.

I was wondering what others think on this subject and if you ever did contemplate extensions (or have had them) what made you change your mind OR if you do use them, why

Nedertane
April 3rd, 2015, 03:40 PM
I think I already know the answer to this but I'll ask anyway...

Does no one consider extensions whole growing out for any particular reason? I feel like extensions is a taboo word here lol.

I'd always thought once my hair was long enough to grip them that I'd try them, but since being on this site, I'm thinking I may not do that. I admire the fierce dedication the people have on this site to growing healthy hair. There's also a general...natural-ness? And I think I like that.

I was wondering what others think on this subject and if you ever did contemplate extensions (or have had them) what made you change your mind OR if you do use them, why

I've used those clip-in fun color extensions if that counts lol. I've considered getting one of those fringe clip-ins as well, so that I wouldn't have to fully commit to a real fringe. :)

I've mused on getting extensions in for volume, but I know I wouldn't want to spend all that money. My sister used glue-in extensions at one point in high school. I had to help her with them one time, and gah, that smell! I know that wouldn't be for me lol.

So, long story short, I think accessory extensions are fun once in a while, but I personally couldn't commit to "real" ones for practicality reasons, not so much for a dedication to growing out ultra-natural hair, or anything like that.

Timea
April 3rd, 2015, 04:41 PM
I normally wear my hair in a bun on top of my head, I've posted it on here in lots and lots of photographs. Its not a special kind of bun, I've been known to call it a 'cinnablob' as its just done by winding my hair around in a lump or blob and poking a stick through it.

One of the benefits of being curly that my friend who wanted to 'join the club' didn't acquire is that curly hair stays up without difficulty. I enjoy that and make use of it. Might as well, since I am not going to change it.

Not only didn't she want any of the non-benefits though, but I found it very obnoxious that besides telling me that she was a 'real' curly though not 'natural' she told me that my hair is not curly, but frizzy...

In her mind, 'real' curls are those perfectly formed things that come out of curlers or perm rods in exactly the size you want and stay that way and frizz is not part of the equation, I guess, lol.

She also spends a lot of time explaining to me and to everyone else, without being challenged (I certainly would never be so rude as to bring up the subject) that she is a 'real' blonde. Which she is, in the same way that she is a real curly head. Once she told me that even though she 'touches up' her hair, it always comes out the same color no matter what brand or color of box dye (or bleach, I am not up on these nuances) she picks, because it is natural to her.

This woman's hair looks great and she's very pretty and its bizarre that she has this need to keep, well, to be blunt, lying to herself and to everyone else too when no one really cares if she improves herself a bit, the look she has chosen is great and it looks great and that should be enough.

this use of the word "real" and "natural" makes me think of the words "freshly squeezed" as it appears on a bottle of juice in the store that certainly hasn't been squeezed recently.

two_wheels
April 3rd, 2015, 04:47 PM
I think I already know the answer to this but I'll ask anyway...

Does no one consider extensions whole growing out for any particular reason? I feel like extensions is a taboo word here lol.

I'd always thought once my hair was long enough to grip them that I'd try them, but since being on this site, I'm thinking I may not do that. I admire the fierce dedication the people have on this site to growing healthy hair. There's also a general...natural-ness? And I think I like that.

I was wondering what others think on this subject and if you ever did contemplate extensions (or have had them) what made you change your mind OR if you do use them, why

I think it's ok to have them, I mean why not, if you'd like them?
I think it's not ok to pretend they are your real hair; some people do that and it's weird! I feel like people on here are ok with stuff as long as you're not being weird and lying.
Finally, I think they pull too much on hair so I wouldn't have them myself. Plus my hair's a colour that's hard to match with dye so they wouldn't look natural.

brickworld13
April 3rd, 2015, 05:12 PM
Ava Ruu, I believe that is called a paddle brush.

I broke a couple paddle brushes right at the handle when I was in high school and trying to rip through tangles. :tmi: Mostly I break things because I'm clumsy and drop them or they aren't suited to my hair at all.

Lady Mary
April 3rd, 2015, 05:42 PM
I think I already know the answer to this but I'll ask anyway...

Does no one consider extensions whole growing out for any particular reason? I feel like extensions is a taboo word here lol.

I'd always thought once my hair was long enough to grip them that I'd try them, but since being on this site, I'm thinking I may not do that. I admire the fierce dedication the people have on this site to growing healthy hair. There's also a general...natural-ness? And I think I like that.

I was wondering what others think on this subject and if you ever did contemplate extensions (or have had them) what made you change your mind OR if you do use them, why

I'll give you a few of the reasons I have seen over the years, just kind of in general stuff.

The ways they attach the extensions can be damaging. The weight of the extensions can also be damaging.

The hair is sometimes obtained in less than stellar ways (stolen, coerced though people's poverty, given freely to temples and then sold for profit.) It's hard to know where the hair you got came from basically.

It's not your real hair, so for some people trying to go natural, they avoid all "unnatural" temptations (like dye, extensions, perms/relaxers, trims, blow dryers, etc.) Because once you start with one thing, it's can be easy to fall onto other things and damage your hair.

In addition to the above, they can give you an unrealistic idea of what your hair will be like long, if your hair isn't that thick or what not.

Lastly, they can be expensive and if you're already growing yours long, you won't need them forever so it might be a purchased only used for a year and then forgotten about.

Anyway, that's just some of the comments/ideas I have seen before. I probably missed things. However, I am sure lots of folks have used them on their journey to long hair. :)

rags
April 3rd, 2015, 06:43 PM
As far as breaking things, I said in the "killer thread" that I'd not broken anything except the expected claw clip springs from the really cheap ones. But someone saying it on this thread did remind me that I did break a Claire's plastic hairstick. It wouldn't stay in and I made a really tight bun and torqued it and just broke it right in half.

My DH has broken several hairbrushes however - a couple of them brand new. He has quite curly hair - probably 3c or 4A - and at the time (when we were younger) it was insanely thick. And he would just RIP hairbrushes through it! More than once the brush would be stuck in his hair, while he snapped the handle!

MeAndTheMaz
April 3rd, 2015, 08:10 PM
As far as extensions go, I once saw a commercial advertising extensions that were basically a headband with hair on it.

I know that doesn't answer any questions, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Unicorn
April 3rd, 2015, 08:24 PM
Our family would get sturdy combs but when visiting others or having forgot a comb there'd be these cheap, brittle fine tooth combs that would break (either the teeth, handle or whole comb) after attempting to pass it through some hair just once.

I'd also seen other children using ring combs so I finally got some as a teen just to try them out. I put them in with a lot of effort. They went flying off, some had snapped off teeth. I had to accept they were not for thick hair.

I used those ring combs and broke them regularly.

In response to "how does hair break items. My hair is thick curly and coarse. It constantly fights to return to it's natural position from whatever style I put it in. I tried to use hair combs, but like ring combs, the pressure from my hair would bend and distort the tines while they were in my hair, so they'd weaken and soon enough they'd break. Often I'd have to comb the broken tines out of my hair.

Unicorn

DizzyGinger
April 5th, 2015, 02:01 PM
The hair is sometimes obtained in less than stellar ways (stolen, coerced though people's poverty, given freely to temples and then sold for profit.) It's hard to know where the hair you got came from basically.

Eek. That is not cool. God what is wrong with the world

FuzzyBlackWaves
April 5th, 2015, 02:30 PM
I've broken so many hair ties and small claw clips. Usually trying to do buns. :p

Hmm, extensions. Some people rock them but they can look a little weird if they're not the right kind or not put in properly (ie different texture or colour to natural hair, clips very visible). I used to wear the clip in kind to add different unnatural colours to my hair but it pulled too much on my scalp and I'm a big baby about that sort of thing. I only ever used synthetic wigs or extensions because I was worried it would be stolen hair.

meteor
April 5th, 2015, 02:57 PM
- About hair breaking stuff:
I think it's my overall clumsiness and sometimes design flaws, rather than actual hair, that broke things on me. So all my self-made sticks broke right away (because I'm not crafty, unfortunately) and I snapped elastics and claw-clips, because they weren't the right size for me. I broke stuff because of too much torquing, too. Nowadays, I try to be careful, plus I section my updos a lot - it really helps reduce strain on hair, scalp and hair accessories. ;)

- About extensions:
I really hope that people who use them, use them very carefully and are fully informed about how to wear them in a way that wouldn't cause them traction alopecia or damage.
But I have no reservations about this - I feel like it's none of my business if people like to rock their "natural" hair or use hair pieces or whatever.

Personally, I haven't tried hair extensions or wigs, but I'll definitely consider them if I ever want to get highlights again or get really bored with my hair or something. ;) It's a pretty safe, fun, no-commitment temporary alternative to drastically changing one's hair. :D
Also, my hair inspirations (from fantasy movies and shows) were all wigs, and I'm thankful for those wigs/extensions, because without them, I'd never even see those gorgeous, creative fantasy hairstyles that I can try on myself :D - I don't get to see stuff like that in real life here, unfortunately.

Hairkay
April 5th, 2015, 03:32 PM
I'm allergic to whatever they use to process extensions so I've never considered them for myself. I've found out about it because I helped some family put braided extensions in and my hands came up in swollen lumps. I wouldn't wear another person's hair either. I have considered yarn braids as a protective hairstyle because I like the look of almost locked hair. I even checked to find out if there is yarn (non wool) that may be okay for my sensitive skin. I considered it a great way to add a new colour to my hair. What stopped me was finding out that although yarn braids are lighter than synthetic or real hair extensions they are extremely heavy when wet. Since I water wash my hair at least 3 times a week to keep my dry scalp and hair in good condition this would be a problem. Also I'd wanted it as a winter protective styling and in winter it is impossible to dry yarn braids without using a hair dryer. I'm also not cutting my hair just to have have short manageable yarn braids. I'll try a paranda one day and that's my limit. I'm sticking to my own braids/plaits which I can wear up for an extra protective style.

chen bao jun
April 5th, 2015, 08:40 PM
If you try to comb through my hair, especially from the top down, unless I have minimized tangles by washing in braids or some of the new techniques I have learned (and sometimes even then) you are going to run into a tangle. If you keep forcing the comb along, something has got to give. It is usually the comb, rather than my hair and the tines will break or the comb will snap in half.

Trying to brush my hair leads to the same happening, and also (I guess they are essentially combs) ---you know that blow dryer attachment that is like a comb?
I have put claw clips on, especially the more narrow kind, and the clip will not spread enough to contain my hair. One of two things happens. The spring immediately breaks, or else I think the clip is on until sometime later when it ejects itself from my hair, and often breaks that way. Also, of course the tines on these break.
Normal barrettes of the French type do not close over my ponytail, and if you try to make them, the spring will bust and the barrette will be in pieces.
Clips from the drug store or walmart marketed as 'thick hair' are not really. They don't mean as thick as me. They will break.

See above on torque for hairsticks.

It is a combination of hair that is thick, curly, coarse and very strong. It is not clumsiness or not knowing how to put in hairtoys. I am a very dexterous person with careful fingers. It is my hair. It happens to other people trying to put things into my hair too. Hairdressers, especially.
With me, it was generally instantaneous. The toy did not degrade slowly over time. it popped right away, often in a spectacular and embarrassing manner. Pieces flew around. It is funny to write about but not funny to experience. Bobby pins, even the large ones (really for putting hair curlers on with) would twist into odd shapes and fail to hold my hair up, or else turn into mini projectiles, too. they were the only things I was trying to use after a while. Except scrunchies. Thank God for scrunchies, I wore them long after they went totally out of style because they are hair containers.

It was my life before LHC.

The first hairclip I ever found in my life that held my hair and stayed in and did not break was ficcare.

then I found hair sticks, too. Good quality ones.

It's been wonderful (if expensive).

My hair, and most other people's hair, at least people that I met, is so different that it surprises me sometimes that it can be called by the same name, it does not seem like the same substance. Once a while I meet someone in real life who has the same issues--and we always bond. It does not look so out of control as it is, especially not in my LHC photos,w hich are usually half ups---when I have touched other people's hair (sometimes I help them comb it or wash it or something like that), their hair seems so--submissive. Mine is jsut not. That's the best way I can describe it. Sometimes people will assume this is a racial difference, but its not. the three other people I know right now with explosive hair are all white people. They are all curly--but definitely not afro curly. Most black people I know have hair that plays nice with hair toys, unlike mine although they often have other troubles, like breakage. I've never had much of that. Because in a fight between my hair and something else, my hair will win. I have found the only solution on LHC--which is, don't fight it.

maborosi
April 5th, 2015, 10:11 PM
As a natural redhead, I HAVE to address the subject.

It's been one of my biggest pet peeves my entire life that 1, people seem to think all redheads share the same coloring and need the same solutions, and 2, that we are limited in any way in our choice of colors. NOT TRUE. I don't understand how this misunderstanding started, but so many people believe redheads are limited to a certain range of colors...especially warm and golden tones.

The colors we look good in is mostly determined by our skin tone and how it interacts with the color. Skin tones are wide and varied. There are natural redheads in every ethnicity, from Spain to Scotland, China to Ethiopia. Just like every other hair color! Some are warmer, some are cooler, and some (like me) are neutral. You can't say pink looks bad - you just need the right shade for you. Yellow, violet...there are a million shades of them all. It's impossible to generalize like that...every color works for every person, they just need the right shade of it.

We are in NO WAY more limited than other hair colors. These days, makeup comes in every color you can imagine. If you go into the store thinking 'Redheads can't wear pink' you won't try it and you'll never know. My best advice to redheads is that despite having a rare color in common, we are all totally different, and no rule applies to everyone, especially not the idea that we have a smaller palette of color available to us.

Every person has colors that aren't good on them, colors that are unremarkable, and colors that look great. Just cause you have red hair...we are like everyone else. We just aren't as common.

This gets me riled up obviously because I felt weird as a kid/teenager being different and then on top of it being told that I had less options than others. Once I let go of that idea, I felt a lot better about myself, my hair color, my wardrobe, and my makeup.

Yeah I'm going to second this. I have a friend who's a natural red and she doesn't even have the warm-toned skin a lot of people think when they think of people with red hair. She's very cool-toned/pinky with very little freckling and tends to look much better in silvery tones and can't wear warm tones at all.

I have another natural red haired friend with thick, brown eyebrows and no freckles and copper hair, and she's really not all that pale by comparison to a lot of people. She seems to do just fine in a lot of the colors people generally advise redheads not to wear.

There's such a huge variation in redheads like any other hair/skin color combo. I thought this was relevant. (http://www.thechicfashionista.com/seasonal-color-analysis-misplaces-redheads.html)

DreamSheep
April 6th, 2015, 08:24 AM
I have a question!

On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would be

Lady Mary
April 6th, 2015, 01:16 PM
Yeah I'm going to second this. I have a friend who's a natural red and she doesn't even have the warm-toned skin a lot of people think when they think of people with red hair. She's very cool-toned/pinky with very little freckling and tends to look much better in silvery tones and can't wear warm tones at all.

I have another natural red haired friend with thick, brown eyebrows and no freckles and copper hair, and she's really not all that pale by comparison to a lot of people. She seems to do just fine in a lot of the colors people generally advise redheads not to wear.

There's such a huge variation in redheads like any other hair/skin color combo. I thought this was relevant. (http://www.thechicfashionista.com/seasonal-color-analysis-misplaces-redheads.html)

I'm the warm toned pinky pale skin, never tans, covered in freckles type. My eyes are very fair blue and I have soft thin hair. Except I lost my red hair coloring as I aged and now I have sort of a dark brown color on my hair and eyebrows with some red tones in it. I think the "seasonal typing" might work better if people ignored hair color. I meet the color analysis for a redhead, even though I don't have that color anymore. It's my skin and eyes that match the "spring/autumn" shades so well, my hairs color is kinda irrelevant.

lapushka
April 6th, 2015, 03:46 PM
About breaking things. The French barrettes I used to break as a teen! They would never shut completely (hair would be stuck in the closing mechanism) and sometimes they'd break under the strain.

Chromis
April 6th, 2015, 04:00 PM
Oh yes, I have broken a lot of barrettes! I don't even have thick hair and it was not that long back then either. I have also broken plastic handled brushes and my hair would somehow eat the ball tips off of them too. I have broken teeth in the cheap black plastic combs and several plastic toys.

I've decided plastic and I don't get along very well.

chen bao jun
April 6th, 2015, 06:15 PM
Well, apparently I have offended every single natural redhead in this thread, if not in all creation. An apology is certainly in order. I can sincerely say that you should wear whatever colors you feel happy in and certainly shouldn't limit yourselves to just a few.

I certainly do agree that natural redheads come in different variations and that some have warm toned colored hair and skin and some have cool and I by no means meant to insinuate you all somehow look the same or should wear the same things.

My foot is just in my mouth, so excuse me while I slowly withdraw it---

As a person who is allergic to makeup, I got into wearing the 'right' colors for me and I think it helps me personally to look better--but I have to say, my husband is on your side, he's always mad at me for looking for things in the 'right' colors and thinks every color can suit everybody and that it's all preference.

Goodbye now.

MeAndTheMaz
April 6th, 2015, 06:51 PM
I have a question!

On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would be

I'm going to assume that if you wore something I didn't like, I would consider it bad taste. That doesn't mean it really is bad taste, it just is to me.

Another question. There more than a few "do women like men with long hair" threads around here. And within those threads, there are more than one response saying "yes. . .if it's well cared for". Isn't that kind of a given? I mean, wouldn't scraggly ratty hair not be all that attractive for either gender?

missrandie
April 6th, 2015, 07:11 PM
Hair is the quickest thing that I was able to "change," and the tattoos and piercings last much longer. I have to say, though, the reason I cut my hair from long to pixie was that I felt like I was no longer a long hair personality. The pixie hair was an external reflection of the person I had become. Now that I have grown, changed, and matured, I feel that I have a long hair personality again and welcome it back.

Here's a fun awkward hair question.... How about those poor people who cook off a whole chunk of hair with a curling iron or straightener? Gotta feel bad for them. After you laugh.

Robot Ninja
April 6th, 2015, 07:12 PM
I have a question!

On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would be

When I say someone has excellent taste in hair toys I mean they have a lot of nice stuff, or they've faved a lot of nice stuff. I'm not really comparing it to bad taste, just to average taste. Of course, "nice" and "average" are defined by what I personally like.




Another question. There more than a few "do women like men with long hair" threads around here. And within those threads, there are more than one response saying "yes. . .if it's well cared for". Isn't that kind of a given? I mean, wouldn't scraggly ratty hair not be all that attractive for either gender?

It's not all that attractive for either gender, but the ratio of scraggly ratty-haired men to nice-haired men is higher than the ratio of scraggly ratty-haired women to nice-haired women. It's like some guys think they're allergic to conditioner or something.

MeAndTheMaz
April 6th, 2015, 07:25 PM
Well, I guess it's true that more men, as opposed to women, will tend to grow their hair because they just can't be bothered to cut it, and would, by extension, tend not to take care of it. But it seems like "as long as it's cared for" would be implied(? or whatever the word would be).

chen bao jun
April 6th, 2015, 07:42 PM
I say, You have excellent taste in hairtoys or something similar (I'm more likely to say, I love your collection) when I see that someone has a lot of hairtoys I would like to have.
Sometimes people have hairtoys that wouldn't work for me, doesn't mean I think they have bad taste at all. Maybe they jsut have a lot of blue. I don't like blue that much.
It's really just something to say, and I like it when people say it to me. I don't expect that everyone out there likes my collections, but its nice to hear from people who do.

On another subject, the hair extensions:

they just never interested me. the first time I ever heard of them, sometime in the 1990s, my sister, who is kind of a glamor girl (was homecoming queen at her college, wanted to be a model, blahblah) told me about them and wanted to practice installing them on me. I asked her how you put them in, she said, sewing or gluing. I asked her how you got them OUT. she didn't have a very satisfactory answer, so we didn't do that.

she did learn how to put them in because she puts them on herself and taught her daughter to do same. Not very often, but she does. My sister does a lot of fake hair, she also used switches and marley hair or whatever to get various 'glamor' effects. We have a seriously different personality. My niece, her daughter, loves fake hair because she is a natural redhead and hates her hair color.

I was kind of totally turned off them when several people I knew, including my sister in law and my mother, got either bald, or bald spots from them. My sister in law is actually bald like a man with pattern baldness, absolutely no hair on the whole front half of her head, seeing her would turn anybody off from going near hair extensions. You would think. But her daughter wears them. Made out of knitting wool, no less.
no comment.

EdG
April 6th, 2015, 08:42 PM
On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would beI noticed Internet articles on bun making often say to use elastics, pins, and even hairspray. shudder:

That would qualify as bad taste. ;)
Ed

chen bao jun
April 6th, 2015, 09:51 PM
I noticed Internet articles on bun making often say to use elastics, pins, and even hairspray. shudder:

That would qualify as bad taste. ;)
Ed

I dunno, EdG. I'll give you the hairspray as, maybe not bad taste but damaging. But its not so awful to make a bun with hairpins and an elastic without metal. My grandmother made all buns like that, but she had beautiful long thick hair. I met a woman from the Dominican republic rcently also who had a gorgeous bun of classic length hair made with hairpins alone. Not everybody has access to beautiful and tasteful hairtoys.

truepeacenik
April 6th, 2015, 09:58 PM
Back in my renfaires sales days, "milady/milord, you have excellent taste" meant they'd chosen the piece with a nice commission.
When I say some one as great taste in hair accessories, I mean that the items look really good in their hair.
Don't care if it would look good on me. Well, usually. I can be enabled.

On kept well hair, a poster not that far above me is a benign neglect sort, but has lovely calf range hair with a marvelous silver pattern.
Now, I can't be bothered to do constant salon stuff, but I can be bothered to slop something up there and wrap it.

EdG
April 6th, 2015, 09:59 PM
I dunno, EdG. I'll give you the hairspray as, maybe not bad taste but damaging. But its not so awful to make a bun with hairpins and an elastic without metal. My grandmother made all buns like that, but she had beautiful long thick hair. I met a woman from the Dominican republic rcently also who had a gorgeous bun of classic length hair made with hairpins alone. Not everybody has access to beautiful and tasteful hairtoys.I can't lump all elastics into the same category. I avoid elastics though.

Buns made with pins and elastics appear very complicated to me. I like the simplicity of hair sticks.


On kept well hair, a poster not that far above me is a benign neglect sort, but has lovely calf range hair with a marvelous silver pattern.Thank you. :flowers:

Unfortunately, I have been experiencing breakage. My longest strands are now thigh-length. :(

Ed

rhosyn_du
April 6th, 2015, 10:03 PM
I can't lump all elastics into the same category. I avoid elastics though. Buns made with pins and elastics appear very complicated to me. I like the simplicity of hair sticks. Ed Hair pins are basically just tiny hair forks. When my hair is long enough to stay secure with sticks, it will also stay secure with 2-3 bunheads or Amish pins. Not complicated at all.

YvetteVarie
April 7th, 2015, 03:21 AM
I have a new question. I don't know if it's really awkward, but let's put it here.

I have seen many members mentioning over the years how their hair breaks things, like combs, brushes, elastics, hairsticks and so on.

I understand the hairtypes and people and the objects themselves are all different, and that often hair's thickness and/or curliness (and length and heaviness) seems to play a part in this.

However I have terribly hard time "seeing" it with my mind's eye. I have never broken anything hair related apart from normal wear and tear of age and usage. I don't think even a tine of a comb has even broken from me. I have never seen IRL hair so thick/curly/heavy/invincible, that objects would break into atoms aften getting a glimpse of it :D

Now how does this breaking down actually happen to you, whom have experienced this phenomena? What's your hair type, thinness-thickness, length, fineness-coarseness, straightness-curlyness? Were the objects new or old? What was the situation like when the object broke? Does this happen often? Has your hair always done this, even at different lengths/other variables? Do you think the object was of correct calibre/material compared to your hair stats (like big enough elastics)?

I have broken several combs and hair toys in my career.

My hair type is a mix of all type 4s and a little 3C. Thickness, I'm a iii, and I'm M/C. My length is in between SL and APL and my hair broke all those items at this in between stage. My hair is texturised (I have mildly relaxed it to make my hair appear thinner and to make it easier to detangle and style). The combs were new when they got broken, wide tooth combs, and I was detangling from the ends going up. My hair has always done this even when its shorter than ear, maybe because its hyper curly, thick and coarseish.

Kate_1221
April 7th, 2015, 04:57 AM
While we're on the subject of breaking hair items, I've destroyed several things with my hair as well. Years ago I broke the plastic handle on a regular brush, but that was before I really got into haircare, and looking back on the situation, not only was the brush the wrong kind for my hair, but I also had a tendency to rip it through. That, combined with my reasonably thick hair, caused the breaking, I think. More recently I've broken cheap plastic hairsticks and several wooden ones, which is why I'm avoiding wood for now. Somehow it's very easy for me to break hairsticks by putting too much pressure on them as I'm inserting them into my bun, probably because it can sometimes be hard to get them through my hair. A month ago or so I broke two hairsticks in as many days. :P

Wosie
April 7th, 2015, 05:17 AM
I have a question!

On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would be

I definitely look at it from a subjective standpoint--meaning that somebody who I think has an excellent taste in hairtoys has a very similar taste as myself. =)

-

And about breaking hairtoys... I have never done that. I have broken a few cheap elastics, but I don't count those. x) Their ends were glued together. Today when I inserted a hairstick it creaked a little, though. I better be careful with those particular ones in the future. shudder: (Wooden with beaded toppers)

Rosetta
April 7th, 2015, 05:24 AM
I have a question!

On the forum, I see many people say "you have excellent taste in hairtoys!" - I'm curious to know what bad taste in hairtoys would be
Hmm, to me that "excellent taste" seems to equal (very) expensive items, in many people's parlance... Like (brand-name) ficcares, and expensive forks and hairsticks. (I have to say I almost fainted when I saw a used ficcare being sold for for *150 euros* on the swap forum :bigeyes: I don't even want to know how much a new one costs in that case...! :eek:)

And "bad taste" in hairtoys seems often to be equalled with claw clips and scrunchies, for example... Though gladly both have their own appreciation threads nowadays ;)

Wosie
April 7th, 2015, 05:32 AM
Hmm, to me that "excellent taste" seems to equal (very) expensive items, in many people's parlance... ;) Like (brand-name) ficcares, and expensive forks and hairsticks. And "bad taste" in hairtoys seems often to be equalled with claw clips and scrunchies, for example... Though gladly both have their own appreciation threads nowadays ;)

Haha, oh, I personally love claw clips and scrunchies... I have a really 'cheap' taste in lack of a better word. Most things that I find the prettiest cost very little, for some reason. x*D
I don't own a single ficcare, but I'm a little interested in buying just one (purple or green), to test it out. %)

Entangled
April 7th, 2015, 06:20 AM
As for claw clips, look at Arc691 and you'll have a hard time saying ill words about them! She has amazing floorlength hair and uses primarily claw clips to make beautiful updos.

kaydana
April 7th, 2015, 06:30 AM
Hmm, to me that "excellent taste" seems to equal (very) expensive items, in many people's parlance... Like (brand-name) ficcares, and expensive forks and hairsticks. (I have to say I almost fainted when I saw a used ficcare being sold for for *150 euros* on the swap forum :bigeyes: I don't even want to know how much a new one costs in that case...! :eek:)

And "bad taste" in hairtoys seems often to be equalled with claw clips and scrunchies, for example... Though gladly both have their own appreciation threads nowadays ;)

I've noticed this too. "Good taste" often seems to be synonymous with "expensive taste."

Entangled
April 7th, 2015, 06:40 AM
Although, on a side note, there are different tastes with updos. Arc69's updos usually involve lots of braids and are really about the intricate style, with the claw clips adding color and a little visual contrast, where some stick buns are all about the hair jewelry. I've got nothing against nice sticks, but they're wayyy out of my price range for the foreseeable future unless as a gift.

ETA: I think I understand what's being said, though. A complicated updo will get compliments for the updo's sake, and cheaper sticks will be given a 'cute' badge, while generally only the expensive toys will be given the term 'good taste'. Few would look at pretty and effective plastic claw clips and say "You have good taste in claw clips," because often claw clips are looked down on as the ugly stepchild, even though they aren't in attractive and work just as well as other fasteners.

Quixii
April 7th, 2015, 09:05 AM
I have to agree that the "great taste" thing confuses me a bit too, especially since I mostly see it in the TT thread, with people proclaiming that such-and-such has an "excellent taste in TTs!" I can't help but think, "What does a bad taste in TTs look like? Is there really someone who has an ugly TT collection?!"

DreamSheep
April 7th, 2015, 10:08 AM
I have to agree that the "great taste" thing confuses me a bit too, especially since I mostly see it in the TT thread, with people proclaiming that such-and-such has an "excellent taste in TTs!" I can't help but think, "What does a bad taste in TTs look like? Is there really someone who has an ugly TT collection?!"

Teehee! This is precisely where my question is from actually :p (and the LI and the Ficcare thread)

Chromis
April 7th, 2015, 10:24 AM
Well, there are some TTs that I am not really fond of! I also dislike acrylic sticks, so the resin ones were not my bag either.

Mostly I would think of claw clips and scrunchies as not my taste in hairtoys!

gwenalyn
April 7th, 2015, 02:04 PM
I dunno, EdG. I'll give you the hairspray as, maybe not bad taste but damaging. But its not so awful to make a bun with hairpins and an elastic without metal. My grandmother made all buns like that, but she had beautiful long thick hair. I met a woman from the Dominican republic rcently also who had a gorgeous bun of classic length hair made with hairpins alone. Not everybody has access to beautiful and tasteful hairtoys.

Genuinely curious--what is damaging about hairspray?

chen bao jun
April 7th, 2015, 02:23 PM
Genuinely curious--what is damaging about hairspray?

Alcohol. Drying. Plus, since it makes hair stay together, you tend to comb hair off your head detangling after.

Have to agree that LHC is even more 'expensive hair toy heaven ' than it is 'long hair heaven. ' there are a few sane voices that remind us that long hair beautiful in itself and you don't NEED hair toys that co st over $30 in l arge numbers to be considered worthy to have long hair. But not many and between the thread s promoting every single expensite seller on e arth and the swap board recycling all the things people had to have- and then just wore once, is easy to g e t caught up in the insanity.

No offense to people who buy a lot. I'm one of them! But I am also an older lady who already own s a house, has one kid in college but he's thelast one, some disposable in c ome, some times (we did get hit last year with remodeling house costs and a family death, -but still ). If I were a student, a young mom in an apartment with kids, an older person on fixed income, I'd find LHC frustrating In this respect. I mean, a place where $30 plus for a jeterfork is considered saving money and people own dozens of them? even an Ead for $8 is really $14 now if you talk shipping. And you could get the impression, easily that only things of this quality (amazing quality, I admit and made by crafts people it's good to support) are 'hairsafe'. -this is just not true.

Robot Ninja
April 7th, 2015, 02:54 PM
And you could get the impression, easily that only things of this quality (amazing quality, I admit and made by crafts people it's good to support) are 'hairsafe'. -this is just not true.

It's not so much that only these things are hairsafe, it's more that I cannot find anything locally that will hold up all my hair, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with that problem. The only hair toys I own that didn't come in the mail are bent knitting needles. Most conventional hair accessories aren't designed for amounts of hair that are "average" on LHC, let alone super-long lengths or super-thick hair, so we have to go to Etsy to find things that will work and won't break.

(Admittedly, spin pins seem to work for everyone who isn't me.)

Hairkay
April 7th, 2015, 03:35 PM
Haha, oh, I personally love claw clips and scrunchies... I have a really 'cheap' taste in lack of a better word. Most things that I find the prettiest cost very little, for some reason. x*D
I don't own a single ficcare, but I'm a little interested in buying just one (purple or green), to test it out. %)

I'm one for scrunchies too. I don't really like to have hard things in my hair so I rarely use hard stuff. I also wouldn't fork out for expensive hair toys. Heck I never heard the term hair toy until I came to this forum. I knew of hair tools and hair accessories that's it. Most times I don't use anything at all in my hair. I'm not bothered what anyone thinks of my taste.

texangrrl
April 7th, 2015, 04:02 PM
I think the change thing is totally about it being something that is less permanent to change. I've BEEN that person. After I cut my hair when it was at TBL into a shoulder length bob, it never got longer than nearly BSL once, for almost 5 years and it was color changing - even if just from blonde to brunette and back again. Why? I was 18-23 years old and every time I had issues with a friend, a guy, or I wanted to start working out or anything that in my mind was a "new start" - my hair was the easiest thing to mark that change with that wasn't something I had to deal with Forever. One of those times, I DID mark something happening with something pretty permanent - A tattoo. 11 years later, I'm figuring out how to save up to laser it off. Kinda now wish I'd just shaved my head or something. lol.

Not to get too off topic, but I'm in the process of laser removal on a tattoo I got when I was 18 (I'm 33). I hate going through the process because it hurts like crazy, but I'll be happier once it's removed. I'm being treated with the Picosure laser with boost. It's the newest approved by the FDA and is supposed to remove them in half the time of traditional lasers. I have round number 4 tomorrow (Wednesday).

texangrrl
April 7th, 2015, 04:06 PM
While we're on the subject of breaking hair items, I've destroyed several things with my hair as well. Years ago I broke the plastic handle on a regular brush, but that was before I really got into haircare, and looking back on the situation, not only was the brush the wrong kind for my hair, but I also had a tendency to rip it through. That, combined with my reasonably thick hair, caused the breaking, I think. More recently I've broken cheap plastic hairsticks and several wooden ones, which is why I'm avoiding wood for now. Somehow it's very easy for me to break hairsticks by putting too much pressure on them as I'm inserting them into my bun, probably because it can sometimes be hard to get them through my hair. A month ago or so I broke two hairsticks in as many days. :P

I've broken a couple of brushes in my lifetime as well. I cringe thinking about what I was doing to my hair!

Chromis
April 7th, 2015, 05:19 PM
It's not so much that only these things are hairsafe, it's more that I cannot find anything locally that will hold up all my hair, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with that problem. The only hair toys I own that didn't come in the mail are bent knitting needles. Most conventional hair accessories aren't designed for amounts of hair that are "average" on LHC, let alone super-long lengths or super-thick hair, so we have to go to Etsy to find things that will work and won't break.

(Admittedly, spin pins seem to work for everyone who isn't me.)

Spin pins didn't work for me either. (Whew, I'm not the only one!)

I think the bent knitting needles work and look great. Before I got "fancier" hairsticks I also liked child-sized chopsticks. The plain black ones look quite dressy! They wouldn't work at my current length, but were great around BSL to waist. I also think homemade plain carved hairsticks look great and I have several that I wear from swaps here. I keep one stashed in different rooms just in case I had my hair down to dry or want to get my night braid out of my way quickly.

Entangled
April 7th, 2015, 05:51 PM
Have to agree that LHC is even more 'expensive hair toy heaven ' than it is 'long hair heaven. ' there are a few sane voices that remind us that long hair beautiful in itself and you don't NEED hair toys that co st over $30 in l arge numbers to be considered worthy to have long hair. But not many and between the thread s promoting every single expensite seller on e arth and the swap board recycling all the things people had to have- and then just wore once, is easy to g e t caught up in the insanity.

No offense to people who buy a lot. I'm one of them! But I am also an older lady who already own s a house, has one kid in college but he's thelast one, some disposable in c ome, some times (we did get hit last year with remodeling house costs and a family death, -but still ). If I were a student, a young mom in an apartment with kids, an older person on fixed income, I'd find LHC frustrating In this respect. I mean, a place where $30 plus for a jeterfork is considered saving money and people own dozens of them? even an Ead for $8 is really $14 now if you talk shipping. And you could get the impression, easily that only things of this quality (amazing quality, I admit and made by crafts people it's good to support) are 'hairsafe'. -this is just not true.

Again, why I love looking at and keep bringing up Arc691. Beautiful hair no matter what she wears in it. I've never seen her in super pricey stuff either. I'm sure there's many others, but she sticks out to me.

As much as I would like to get super nice hair stuff, I wouldn't buy myself jewelry that expensive, so hair jewelry goes the same way. Cheaper stuff I will probably buy in the future, for the cost is the same as a nice book, but probably not more for a loooong time.

chen bao jun
April 7th, 2015, 06:57 PM
It's not so much that only these things are hairsafe, it's more that I cannot find anything locally that will hold up all my hair, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with that problem. The only hair toys I own that didn't come in the mail are bent knitting needles. Most conventional hair accessories aren't designed for amounts of hair that are "average" on LHC, let alone super-long lengths or super-thick hair, so we have to go to Etsy to find things that will work and won't break.

(Admittedly, spin pins seem to work for everyone who isn't me.)

I get this totally, I first got sucked into ficcare (and cant say im sorry)because they held my hair and didn't break, which made $35 (at that time )seem reasonable, after past experience.

And LHC does have the make your own hair toy thread and there are people on here, some with the most amazing huge amounts of hair who are definitely not promoting going broke with hair toys. Not just Arc, but also JJJ long hair, who taught me that Goody m a kes a n indestructible claw clip, 3 for $5, which holds up floor length hair, Torrin Paige who uses chopsticks, hair taping, or bent knitting needles on all that thick hair, and info not just on s pin pins but Amish pins (lifesaver for me) and others.

But I do still t hink the vibe on here is skewed towards ficcare, grahtoe, timberstone turnings and the over $100 -vendors as the most tasteful and prestigious and people really do consider jeter forks (which I personally love) as an expensive, reasonably priced option , and (all questions of what handmade craftsmanship is worth aside) for many people they are not. They are unaffordable for some.

Of course I may just think LHC is skewed like this because of the threads I tend to hang out on....

And I want to repeat that my intention is not to shame people for spending their hard earned money as they choose, I'm not about that at all. I also find LHC to be a generous place. People have gifted me and others with a lot some of it expensive, at bad times in my life and asked for nothing return andI am grateful.

Chromis
April 7th, 2015, 07:04 PM
We do have quite a lot of threads for cheaper sticks too! Also, keep in mind that many of us bought the more expensive ones back when they were much cheaper. TT's prices were waaaaay lower in the past and ditto for those older Ficcare that now go for so much. Granted, a $30 Ficcare is still pretty expensive, but then I'm a pretty sure I have broken rather more than that amount in scrunchies and claw clips before I found my first Ficcare!

Arctic
April 7th, 2015, 07:11 PM
Thanks for all the answers about breaking things!

***

I have a new question, which is also a mini-rant at the same time. It's also more (hair) forum related than actually hair related.


Why do so many people assume others have all the time in the world to find information for them?

Often they don't even bother to read/skim through the thread in question - sometimes this happens even when a thread has a first post that has been composed to be very informative. Sometimes the answer could be found with a simple search, by maybe searching with few key words, or posts from few key posters. Sometimes the aswer was given just a page earlier. People do this all the time. Sometimes a new thread is started, sometimes this happens in old existing threads. Yes it's easy and tempting, and sometimes a friendly soul will look the information for you. But I think it's very disrespectful towards other peoples time.

Ofcourse it goes without saying, that if one has read the first post, skimmed the thread and searched for answers with no avail, then the questions are more than justified! There are also several aspects that make this behavior more accetable. Sometimes the person is a newbie trying to find their way around. Sometimes a thread is very long and it's intimidating for new member/new person coming to the thread to get a hang of it all. Sometimes there is no informative first posts and the info is scattered through out the thread. Sometimes people don't know how to search. Sometimes the subject is very far from the person's knowledge and very difficult to understand. Sometimes they truly only have few minutes to spend online (like new parents) and find it better to ask help. Sometimes it simply feels that if we would never ask questions and communicate, and everybody would just use google, why would we even be a part of a community like this, where real people interact with eachothers.

I have probably done this behaviour too, I bet we all have, but I have been trying to be more mindful about this myself for a long time now, starting from when I learnt about time management skills. There is this quote by Bob Carter: “Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.” I think this could be applied here too. Why would no efforts from your part necessitate piece of my precious time?

But still, not being perfect myself, it rubs me the wrong way when I see someone do it. And I have pointed it out many times too, but that makes me feel very rude. I feel this is something that should naturally be part of everyone's thought processes, and shouldn't have to be pointed out to adults. It may be rude from my part but it's also unthoughtful from the other person's part.

In addition to this, I can't even count the times when I have answered to some of these queries only to be ignored. Very often not even a half word of thank you is being said. I might have spent tens of minutes composing my answer and looking for the info. (Ofcourse the times when thank you is being said feels ever so much sweeter, too!)

In general I think it's good to ask for help, and even encourageable. I in no way want to imply the opposite. But I would expect the person to at least try to find answers themselves beforehands. To not always to rely on and expect other people to do the work for you, when you can very easily use your own time - just the same number of minutes that you ask the other person to use of their time - to search for the answers. And I would also expect adults to thank the person who does help out. My point is that even if it's is easy for you, it takes time and energy and concentration from the other person, and everyone should acknowledge that. Be thankful of the help. Sometimes several people are answering the same time, not knowing about eachothers, so the time of several persons is being used. It just feels so disrespectful, as if the person would not even consider, that asking these questions is away from someone else's time.

I am no saint myself, I admit that (especially a follow-through is my vice). But wanted to throw this question out there, as something each of us can ponder. I have no doubt many people have not even considered this from the viewpoint of others.

And please don't anyone get me wrong. I like answering questions and helping out. It makes me happy when I can help out, if I have the time. Especially new members I am very happy to help, and point them to the right directions. I do like the interaction between people! It is mostly old members who ask these questions I am refering to here, to which answers could be easily found with reading back few posts (and the first post of a thread), or doing one or two simple searches.


Phew, rant over. :) I hope to not to offend anyone, and am not trying to point fingers to any particular members. I just feel everyone would benefit from little politeness in this aspect of forum culture.

Arctic
April 7th, 2015, 07:41 PM
Chen, I was just about to say but you said it yourself first. It seems like the LHC you experience is very different from the LHC I experience. We seem to read very different content, and I would never use the same phrases to describe LHC as you did :D I think "my" LHC is very much about long hair, healthy hair, and hair care, not primarily about expensive "toys".

I have never been a "toy" person, they don't particularly appeal to me. I do like quality stuff and don't like plastic, but this has nothing to do with LHC. I am probably going to purchase few well thought of "toys" (I hate that expression with passion, ha ha!) as my hair grows, to add to the few I already have. We have practically NO quality hair "toys" here where I live, and I don't like to order from abroads. This latter fact is the main reason why I only have couple of high quality "toys" ATM. (Other is that I have several years phase of short hair recently.)

But to me, the prettiest updos are the ones where they seem to magically stay up without anything visible holding them up. I love bobby pins and U-shaped pins! When I look at hair photos here, I rarely even pay attention to the stick/fork/clip that is holding them up. I don't even regocnice most of the popular sellers, but I admit many TTs are really beautiful. I only recognice TTs because the thread keeps popping up and they have a unique looking style that is easily recognizeable. But I can also honestly say, that not all of them are in accordance with my taste. I can't see much point wearing anything super expensive at the back of my head, from where someone can easily steal it or it could get lost. Not that there are lot of thieves here, there aren't, I'm just a bit paranoid like that, always thinking about worst case scenarios.

I indeed see these "toys" as tools, that can also be attractive. They can act like an accessory, but are never a main focal point to me. I wish I'd know a better (LHC recognizeable) word than toy, I would be using it. My everyday toys would need to be functional at first, simple in design and such that can easily be worn with many outfits, hairstyles, and plain enough to be worn often. I could never see myself having a large collection of any thing. I am a bit of an minimalist, and having too much stuff is anxiety inducing. No matter if they are hair forks or vases or clothes.



DreamSheep - As for good taste in hair "toys", that would mean I personally like them. Not neccessarily that I would like to own them, just that they please my eye. For example some highly decorated stick might be beautiful to me, but I wouldn't really use it because I dress in rather minimalistic fashion.

I know plastic has it's place in our lives, but I would be stretching it to call anything plastic as a good taste (yes I do have some plastic hair things, like claw clips, but I rarely use them out of home). My personal taste is very much oriented to natural materials in everything, not just hair "toys".


ETA: Oh, the question was, what would bad taste be like. For me, bright clashing colours, plastic, too expensive looking stuff too on the other hand. These, too, are based on my personal taste, and I wouldn't usually bat my eye if I see other's wearing them - in fact they might look great on them!

Also, when the chosen toys really seem to express what the person wants to project of themselves to the world, then it is of good taste. If on the other hand the toy looks like it belongs to someone else, then it's of "bad" taste. This view point goes farther than my own personal taste.

ETA2: Toys need to be of correct side to look good too.

ETA3: As I wrote above, for my eyes, TTs indeed have styles I don't like at all. :)

Robot Ninja
April 7th, 2015, 08:01 PM
And LHC does have the make your own hair toy thread and there are people on here, some with the most amazing huge amounts of hair who are definitely not promoting going broke with hair toys. Not just Arc, but also JJJ long hair, who taught me that Goody m a kes a n indestructible claw clip, 3 for $5, which holds up floor length hair, Torrin Paige who uses chopsticks, hair taping, or bent knitting needles on all that thick hair, and info not just on s pin pins but Amish pins (lifesaver for me) and others.

I need this indestructible claw clip, because my kid's hair has chewed up so many of the things.
Amish pins, again, are not quite so inexpensive when you don't live the US. Plus, pinning long hair takes time. A lazy wrap bun with a stick takes 30 seconds.


But I do still t hink the vibe on here is skewed towards ficcare, grahtoe, timberstone turnings and the over $100 -vendors as the most tasteful and prestigious and people really do consider jeter forks (which I personally love) as an expensive, reasonably priced option , and (all questions of what handmade craftsmanship is worth aside) for many people they are not. They are unaffordable for some.

I think some of it is that some people do have a skewed idea of what is affordable. It's like when you go look up advice on how to save money and all the budgeting advice tells you how much you'll save per year if you stop buying a Starbucks latte every morning, and you can barely afford groceries and you're certainly not buying Starbucks. But I think for most people a Jeter is affordable; it might be the only hair toy you purchase this year, but I think the majority of members have at least some disposable income they can set aside until they have enough for a well-made, versatile $40 hair toy that will get a lot of wear.

I think the other thing is too, the expensive toys get all the attention because people want them but they can't have them. If you want that pretty new Ead color, you can get it, it's 20 bucks for a pair and most people can afford that. All those pretty TTs, not so much, and those threads are eye candy as much as anything. I mean, I go look at the Ficcare thread all the time even though I have no intention of buying one right now; I just like to look at other people's shinies.


We do have quite a lot of threads for cheaper sticks too! Also, keep in mind that many of us bought the more expensive ones back when they were much cheaper. TT's prices were waaaaay lower in the past and ditto for those older Ficcare that now go for so much. Granted, a $30 Ficcare is still pretty expensive, but then I'm a pretty sure I have broken rather more than that amount in scrunchies and claw clips before I found my first Ficcare!

This too.

Quixii
April 7th, 2015, 08:15 PM
Yeah, my hair toys are all gifts or cheap, with the exception of one TT from before the more recent price increase. I don't much like how claw clips look most of the time, and I haven't been able to hold my hair up with one in a while (though I suppose of Arc61 does it it must be possible!), and I don't really like how Jeterforks look, but I have a lot of Ead sticks (plus I don't have to pay for shipping! :p) and a few self-made things. I could set aside the savings or whatever for the fancy stuff, and I probably will buy at least one more TT at some point, but I'm not really into all the hype of all the random "must-have" vendors.

Entangled
April 7th, 2015, 08:49 PM
Here's my awkward question: do a lot of you get frustrated with protective updos? For me, I know I like long hair on me better. Once the novelty of short hair wears off, I feel very boxy and unattractive. I love how I can do so much with my hair, but so often I hear things like buns are frumpy or boring. I love them and their functionality, but as a relative newbie(less than a year and a half since my hair went up everyday), how do you stand this constant barrage of negative feedback where hair is only pretty if it's loose and kempt simultaneously (something I'm convinced is an impossibility once I leave my mirror). I know why I love buns and long hair (waist is waaay easier than BSL) and wouldn't cut it, but buns that flatter usually take so much work and sometimes I get...tired...of constantly defending what I like. How do you guys combat this feeling where a lot of people think you're frumpy or boring? I know why I like what I do, but nobody else really does as the constant refrain (it's implied and I don't complain because I know what I'll get) of "it's annoying because it's long? Cut it!"

No! Then I would have no control over it at all and it would still look bad or boring!

Arctic
April 7th, 2015, 08:57 PM
Entangled - People here where I live would never say something like that. It sounds very rude and I would become anxious in the situation you describe. I don't know how I would deal.

Like you, I like updos, and am growing my hair out for the main reason fo being able to do all kinds of braids and buns. So in a way, no I don't get frustrated with protective styles (but I am currently at a length, where it is not yet really needed that much).

Somehow you'll need to make it clear enough for these people, that they should keep such negative opinions to themselves. Also, I would think if you feel great, you will also look great, and this should be seen by these people too. At one point they just have to realize that those updos look nice on you, and maybe start to appreciate your hairstyle details and nuances more. Maybe you could try to style the front of your hair differently, have some options for variety, so to them it would look different from the front too.

Robot Ninja
April 7th, 2015, 09:18 PM
hair is only pretty if it's loose and kempt simultaneously (something I'm convinced is an impossibility once I leave my mirror)

Bwahahahahaha. Oh, I'd like to know if there is some magic secret to accomplishing this, I really would. Although I suspect the secret is less magic and more an hour with hot tools and a ton of styling product, so, yeah.


How do you guys combat this feeling where a lot of people think you're frumpy or boring?

I don't think people think I'm frumpy or boring. Granted, the purple really shows when my hair is up, but I also wear my buns at the crown of my head which seems to be what the kids these days are doing (as well as being more comfortable for me) and wear a lot of makeup and not-frumpy clothes.

But if you don't want to do those things, there is always the unofficial LHC motto: I'm not here to decorate your world.

MeAndTheMaz
April 7th, 2015, 09:24 PM
On the subject of hair toys, I'm seeing a lot of mention of "TT"s. I think Tangle Teaser when I see that, but that doesn't seems to be what is talked about here. So. . .TT?

I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread.

Arctic
April 7th, 2015, 09:29 PM
TT = Timberstone Turnings, can be found at Etsy, makes unique looking hairsticks etc.

It's also a Tangle Teaser

EdG
April 7th, 2015, 09:45 PM
I am new to the world of hair toys, having four months of experience in making buns and using hair sticks.

I am happy with the ten hair sticks that I now have. There may be some truth in the stereotype that men tend to wear the same clothing items over and over. :)
Ed

Rosetta
April 8th, 2015, 01:05 AM
Have to agree that LHC is even more 'expensive hair toy heaven ' than it is 'long hair heaven. ' there are a few sane voices that remind us that long hair beautiful in itself and you don't NEED hair toys that co st over $30 in l arge numbers to be considered worthy to have long hair. But not many and between the thread s promoting every single expensite seller on e arth and the swap board recycling all the things people had to have- and then just wore once, is easy to g e t caught up in the insanity.


But I do still think the vibe on here is skewed towards ficcare, grahtoe, timberstone turnings and the over $100 -vendors as the most tasteful and prestigious and people really do consider jeter forks (which I personally love) as an expensive, reasonably priced option , and (all questions of what handmade craftsmanship is worth aside) for many people they are not. They are unaffordable for some.
Glad that finally someone said it out loud...! As this is something I've felt for long. Well, it's maybe just the products subforum that's full of this, but still. I just can't for the life of me understand people's eagerness for such expensive stuff - especially when there are loads of pretty things that are not so expensive! (And somehow those tend to work for me better than the generally expensive stuff; maybe that affects my views, too.) Even if I could afford it, I would never, ever spend something like $50 on a single hairtoy...!! :eek: