Completely unnatural hair- advice needed

[HennaDancer]

My hair is boring.
It's been long and dark auburn from henna for 24 years. I had stomach surgery a few years ago and lost a lot of it, but it's been slowly coming back in. Verrrrrry slowly. I have a picture of me with good lighting from above and I almost have a bald spot in the center front, it's so thin.
Then, it had been about 17 years since my last cut, so about a year and a half ago, I had the damaged ends taken off. The removal took me from spine length to waist length hair, and it isn't much longer now.
A year ago, I got a perm to try and give it some life. I think the hairdresser had it in too tight, because I lost even more hair from it, although thankfully it's coming back. It did look much better for a while. Now, being so thin and flat to my head, it gets oily and stringy less than a day after washing. Yuck.
So I'm bored with flat, lifeless, greasy, adult hair. I want fun, pretty hair that I don't have to wash all the time. I am considering a perm again, to give me big curls, and then a color, like maybe a forest green or turquoise, or both. I've never used a chemical colorant, and I'm told that I'd need to bleach my hair first, which sounds terrifying. the current color is similar to this: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/64/b9/bb/64b9bbe1ca142a0128ed168827498de8.jpg
I don't want boring hair, but neither do I want an interesting color and texture like straw. Any advice is greatly welcome!

[meteor]

You can achieve darker colors with some deposit-only temporary dyes like Manic Panic, Pravana, Adore, Directions...
Also, consider getting fun colorful wigs and/or colorful clip-in extensions.
It's impossible to constantly change permanent colors without damaging the hair in the process, that's why I recommend temporary veggie dyes or wigs. If you want lighter colors than your current color, I'd get a wig, because it's impossible to get there without bleach and damage. But darker colors are achievable via deposit-only non-damaging dyes.

For curls, look up no-heat curling methods (there are tons!), like these ones by beautyklove: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4626FAE04F57ED14
Wet-setting curling is non-damaging and you can get different textures every time (tighter curls, looser curls, "vertical"...). I would not recommend perms, because they are damaging, hard to grow out and also high maintenance (it's hard to keep them looking defined, you still need to style them!), so yeah, heat-free styling for the win! :D

Best of luck! :flower:

[meteor]

Oh, I just noticed you wrote about greasiness just a day after a wash as well... May I suggest dry shampoos (especially based on cocoa powder or clay).
Even better - scalp-only washes!
Here is a partial scalp-only wash (with hair bunned and covered in plastic shower cap) by LauraLongLocks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VBOVM-dHlc
Here is a scalp-only wash (with hair braided and held by bra-strap/shirt) by HaarTraum (from around 1:30): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwREj8Kadlo
I love scalp-only washes and often resort to them to tide me over full washes. It takes only 5 minutes in a shower or a sink under a tap and hair dries super-fast, and you get to avoid all the wet manipulation and post-wash detangling. :) HTH! :flower:

[veryhairyfairy]

Unfortunately, henna is impossible to remove without lots of damage from bleach. I have a feeling that anything green-based will look very strange over even bleached out henna. I think if you really want to lighten and then dye your hair, your best bet will be reds, oranges, maybe pink-based purples, and yellows. Basically anything that isn't going to clash with the orangey henna leftovers.

I really love the idea of wigs that you could change out, because then you won't have to use commercial dyes or perm solution on your scalp which might thin your hair again.

You could also do all sorts of crazy stuff to a human hair wig like dyeing it a new color each month and curling it with heat! (Now I want some fun and crazy wigs!)

I hope you end up finding a solution that makes you happy!

[FuzzyBlackWaves]

Hair chalk! Dries out the greasies, gives you vibrant colour on even dark hair, washes out if you don't like it.

[gwenalyn]

If you want to perm and color, do it! Just do one thing at a time, wait a few months to let the damage come through, and re-evaluate as you go.

By the way, a lot of hair stylists will refuse to do anything to previously-hennaed hair. Maybe an interaction between the perm and the henna caused the breakage? I have also heard that bleaching out henna is a nightmare/impossible :/

[JellyBene]

From someone who's done it, i do not reccomend bleaching out henna. I made a thread to show what happened to me http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=129667
But if you use a low level developer (20vol) and bleach in small sections you can give your henna highlights with minimal damage and it becomes this awesome marigold color. I'm sure that would give your hair a nice pop of change!

[lapushka]

Bleach, dye, henna? Chemical cut & burn and go back to chin length. That's what happened to me. I'd not go there, if I were you!