Really struggling :(

[Waverly]

Ok, I'm struggling with my hair - immensely. The back story is that I've had long hair pretty much all my adult life bar about 3-4 occasions when I've been bored or cut off damage etc and I end up cutting to somewhere between shoulder and apl depending on how I feel. My hair usually hangs out somewhere between waist and hip and I pretty much always wear it down when possible.
I had my first child nearly 3 years ago and remember having to put my hair in a bun everyday when he was a baby to prevent him grabbing it. He grew out of that long ago and I've enjoyed wearing it down again since then... until 6 months ago when DS2 arrived on the scene. DS2 also likes to grab hair :( So my hair is back in a bun AGAIN e v e r y d a y - argh!!!
My hair is currently about 3 inches away from classic length and a few months ago I started getting that familiar itch to cut it. So I joined this forum and set classic as my goal instead thinking I'd like to get to classic and I might feel differently about cutting it when I'm there. But so far I don't. I hate wearing my hair up. I really hate it. I like braids but they're out of the question at the moment because DS2 can still grab them and DS1 likes to swing on them - which hurts like hell. I can't stand buns on me. I think if I ever see myself in a bun again I will scream, then grab DH's clippers... I've always had long hair because I like how it looks down, I just want that again. I don't know if it's worth growing it only to wear it up everyday.
So my options are to 1: apply the 2 MONTH rule (having already gone way past 2 weeks :p ) and see if I can start braiding and wearing down when DS2 is a little older. 2: Chop back to waist to minimize any damage from tangles and swinging so I can wear it down again. 3: Or, go crazy and chop to apl, maybe get a side cut or a fun colour so I can wear it down again and not feel bored or mumsy anymore. I'm seriously considering apl with a side/undercut - seriously. For what it's worth, my hair grows pretty fast, nearly an inch a month, and I've never regretted any of my big chops or felt frustrated growing them out - I've always sort of ended up back at waist by accident almost.
Words of wisdom/advice please :blossom:

[ladyfey]

You sounds like me! I grow mine out long almost by accident too :) I don't really have advice, if you'd enjoy it shorter for awhile then I'd say go for it. I am also tempted to cut right now, my daughter (6year old) just got her tailbone length hair cut to above the shoulders (it's what she wanted) and it is so cute that I am very tempted to cut mine too. Like you, I enjoy mine down, but it's not down for more than a few minutes in the morning. Shorter hair would be somewhat freeing I think, but I do enjoy looking at all the length! Like I said, I'm no help :)

[Ambrielle]

It sounds like you're not enjoying your hair as it is. I can understand why wearing your hair in a bun so often bothers you, i would not enjoy my hair either if that was my only option and would very likely cut it back to waist or somewhere in those markers because my number one priority isn't length but enjoying my hair at any length so the moment it becomes a burden to me i make a choice. My advice to you is weight out every con and pro and see if length is more important to you than say wearing it down and so on. It's important that you feel good about your self, hair and enjoy it. Have you considered perhaps focusing elsewhere while you DS2 grows past the grabbing stage? Perhaps getting new clothes, make up or focusing on something else that you're passionate about. I am not sure if these things would suit your circumstances of course but just putting it out there. :)

[omidaverde]

Could you braid it and tuck it underneath your clothing?

I know you have probably already tried this as well but I would also try compromise by wearing it down whenever the kids are sleeping or someone else is looking after them for a little while so you can have some hair-down-time, that way it wouldn't be up ALL the time, and hopefully that would make you feel better about the time you have to wear it up.

Other than that if you do decide to cut it why not pick a length that by the time you grow it back out again for classic the kids would be old enough to stop pulling on your hair? For example if you think it will take one more year until they stop pulling on it you could cut 1 year's growth (assuming that much would be enough to solve the pulling on it problem) and then by the time that year is up you will be back where you are now. (Hope this makes sense).

Best wishes :) :flower:

[-Fern]

First: This popped into my head while reading your post. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t-gK-9EIq4)

On that note... if they can grab it, they will!! I don't see how cutting back to waist (or anything below Shoulder Length, honestly) would stop the grabbing hands when you bend over, pick them up, etc.

In the meantime... what about braided buns? French braid coiled? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmtiiEoBmLc) (Skip to 8:00 on the vid)

[missblueeyes]

If you enjoy having long hair and the only reason you want to chop is that you can wear it down, please do not get a sidecut, especially if you've never had one before. They take ages to grow out, much longer than your average shoulder to waist journey.
My advice would be to wait out the two months and if you still feel the urge to chop at that time, cut back to waist. You will be able to grow your hair to classic from there much easier than from a bob / pixie / undercut, your hair won't be that reachable for your little ones and you can still throw it in a ponytail if you want to.
Another option would be to bite the bullet and pull through until your children are old enough to be taught that pulling mommy's hair is a big no-no. By then, if you continued to wear protective styles, you should probably have reached classic easily. :)

[Theobroma]

Is there a specific reason why you hate buns, for instance that you feel pulling it all back from your face looks too severe? If so, have you considered a fringe instead of chopping all of it (assuming you don't already have one)?

I used to hate the pulled-back look on myself as well, and happily wore a fringe for about 15 years. Now I'm happily fringe-less again, but I loved it while I had it. And it does greatly soften the bunned look.

[julee]

My advice would be to do whatever will help you enjoy your hair again. If it means going shorter, go for it! :blossom: I've decided to stay at just past waist for the time being, as I do like to wear it down and anything longer is too difficult for me right now.

[Saldana]

Since your hair grows quickly, how about cutting it back to a child-friendly length (maybe BSL?) until your kids are old enough to leave it alone. Then go ahead and grow it out. :)

[Waverly]

Thanks for all the replies. I am unhappy with my hair and that's why I'm considering the chop. Ladyfey- we are one and the same! My hair just grows and grows before I even know it's done it, which I know is a quality many here would kill for.

First: This popped into my head while reading your post. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1t-gK-9EIq4)

On that note... if they can grab it, they will!! I don't see how cutting back to waist (or anything below Shoulder Length, honestly) would stop the grabbing hands when you bend over, pick them up, etc.

In the meantime... what about braided buns? French braid coiled? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmtiiEoBmLc) (Skip to 8:00 on the vid)
LOVE Depeche Mode and they're rocking some great cuts there! But to answer the question, cutting back to waist would possibly work for me because my hair can take a serious amount of abuse at that length. Any grabbing, swinging etc wouldn't cause long term problems.
Still tempted by a side cut though...
Theobroma - I guess what I hate most about myself in buns is that my very Victorian great grandma wore one everyday of her life. I look in the mirror and that's what I see. They age me horribly. I loved my great grandma but I don't want to look like her.

[Arctic]

Just because you are a member of website called Long Hair Community, doesn't obligate you to grow past a length you are comfortable with.

Maybe you could do a sort of edgy faux-undercut with strategically placed dutch braids? And some temporary colour: stripes, dyed bangs, dip dye...

[proo]

I taught my babies not to grab my hair,
or my glasses, or hurt me in other ways.

[Quasiquixotic]

I second all the do what makes you happy advice.

What about braided faux mohawks? They are about as un victorian as you can get and still keep your hair mostly up.

https://www.google.com/search?q=faux+mohawk+bun+women&client=safari&rls=en&biw=1151&bih=892&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=VJENVfHyJsKbNq3ag9AD&ved=0CB0QsAQ

Some of those are really elaborate, but what if you did a dutch french braid and then folded it back up and down until all the length was gone, pinned or tapped it into staying. I bet if you hair taped it, you might be able to sleep on it (if it's not too uncomfortable) and get a few days wear out of doing it once. Good for chasing after of two small boys.

or crown braids, those are really pretty and can be edgy and bohemian.

[Waverly]

I taught my babies not to grab my hair,
or my glasses, or hurt me in other ways.
Well, yes this is the long term goal but not really possible for a 6 month old.
In the meantime, the faux Mohawks and faux undercuts look awesome guys! These are real possibilities to help me get past the grabbing stage. When DS2 stops grabbing and I can braid again, I might feel better. If I'm facing facts though, I'm not enjoying my hair and still seriously considering a major chop. When the boys are in bed tonight I'm going to try the faux French braid undercut and see what I think.

[ooglipoo]

I was going to suggest adding a couple updos to your routine that may spice it up. Like Heidi braids? Or double dutch braids wrapped around, or the crown braid. Up, braided, secure.

[meteor]

When I read the original post, my immediate thought was: "Hmm, but with little kids even SL-APL hair isn't 100% safe!" :lol: They grab onto everything. So only updos, pixies or super-short bobs are probably safe...

If you hate the look of buns, you can always venture into other types of updos:
Spiral Braids (http://data.whicdn.com/images/10910284/tumblr_lmxovaHBAm1qg4wb2o1_500_large.jpg?130834721 )
Crown Braids (http://blog.themodelstage.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/hair-tutorial-braid-crown-08.jpg)
Heidi Braids (https://hungryhype.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/how-to-heidi-braids.jpg)
Amish Braids (http://i.ytimg.com/vi/c1ms8ODU42k/maxresdefault.jpg)
Dutch Flower Braid (http://i.ytimg.com/vi/jbz-na--8mg/hqdefault.jpg)
Braided fauxhawk (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/5f/cf/15/5fcf15e057502c14d78b6214474df6ed.jpg)
Interlaced Dutch Braids (https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/34/55/81/345581a1ce85ef2e569926962fbd304a.jpg)
...
The list goes on and on...

Also, everything sectioned and doubled/tripled looks cool - so look into double/triple/multiple buns stacked on top of each other or side by side.

When hair blues strike, we gotta get more inventive! ;)

I highly recommend checking out blogs and YouTube channels by Andrea (arc) (http://691superlonghair.blogspot.ca/), Torrinpaige (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bJFKERCwkg), Cute Girl Hairstyles (http://www.cutegirlshairstyles.com/) and Princess Hairstyles (http://www.princesshairstyles.com/) for fun updo ideas, as well as fantasy movies/shows for updo inspiration. :)

[Rowanoake]

with your length it sounds like braids would be functional and very beautiful. I think even the most functional braided styles add enough 'different' to texture and appearance that maybe you wouldn't be bored at them.

[Ambrielle]

I had an undercut about 9 years ago, half of my head was shaved off and let me tell you i LOVED it. In fact if my circumstances would allow me i'd be tempted to get another one. They do take a long time to grow back but i don't recall being that bothered about that process. My mind was focused elsewhere, could be why. I agree with those who suggested experimenting with faux undercuts in the meantime. If you still feel like you want shorter hair then i say go for it. Whatever makes you happier, i say, hair length isn't what describes beautiful hair in my opinion, there is much more to it. :)

[spidermom]

I didn't succeed at teaching either one of my children to stop grabbing my hair. It seemed almost automatic to them to grab onto any hair within reach. It didn't work to put my hair up because there were always shorter bits hanging free. Therefore, I did babies with short hair. It was so much easier for me. If you think you would enjoy your hair more at a shorter length, why not? Babies grow up and hair grows down; it's inevitable.

[Upside Down]

Well, I understand you. Even though I like buns, after 7 months I got tired of them. Cutting is not an option for me (Little Dragon will just grab the short hair and I prefer not to go pixie), so I started braiding, and it really is fun although it takes more time.

You got some amazing suggestions on this thread (including that beautiful crown braid that I want to try!!). It will pass (I am saying this to you but to myself also... ;) )

[Waverly]

Confession time: I'm hoping DS2 won't be our last baby... I know, glutton for punishment :) So I absolutely have to find a solution that doesn't involve bunning my hair for the next decade. I've just done a faux undercut French braid on one side and thrown the rest of my hair into a bigger French braid and I do love the way it looks. I did it in the dark though so it's not perfect but a good first attempt I think. I'm going to practice again tomorrow in the light and see how it looks. If I still love it then this sort of style might help me wait out a few months until DS2 stops grabbing.
On the other hand, seeing myself like this makes me realise how much I like the flatter sides and voluminous top of under/side cuts...tempting, hehehe.
Besides, I've told DH about my dilemma and he has confessed he also hates my hair in a bun :( In fact, he obviously hates it so much he offered to put a side cut in for me himself or babysit the boys whilst I go to the hairdressers - and that is huge. DS2 is a 'spirited' little one who screams the second I leave his sight until the moment I return. Good job I'm not going back to work yet. I had no idea but apparently yes, buns are not welcome in my home anymore. It's a shame really because I keep seeing members on here with the most beautiful bunned dos but they just don't work for me.

[Waverly]

I didn't succeed at teaching either one of my children to stop grabbing my hair. It seemed almost automatic to them to grab onto any hair within reach. It didn't work to put my hair up because there were always shorter bits hanging free. Therefore, I did babies with short hair. It was so much easier for me. If you think you would enjoy your hair more at a shorter length, why not? Babies grow up and hair grows down; it's inevitable.

Spidermom - yep. Always with the hanging bits. How do they always manage to find the fine hairs at the nape of your neck no matter how well it's tied up???

[Arctic]

It does sound like a shorter length would be something that would make your life easier. I'm glad you like the faux-undercut look, even though I can't really understand how it (or real one) would help with hair grapping.

[chen bao jun]

I had my hair at about shoulder length when I had my kids and they always grabbed it especially when nursing and I didn't have the option to put it up.
Just saying.

[Waverly]

I had my hair at about shoulder length when I had my kids and they always grabbed it especially when nursing and I didn't have the option to put it up.
Just saying.

Agreed - that's why I was thinking apl this time. I wouldn't want to lose the ability to tie it back. Little hands are so mischievous!

[AZDesertRose]

I cut mine from about BSL to super short (like pixie short) when I was pregnant with DD (my only child) [lo these 20+ years ago]. The longest bits were CHEEKBONE length, and she still managed to pull my hair until she got old enough to learn that pulling hair hurts and is not nice.

That being said, do with your hair what makes you happy, and while it's probably heresy to say this around here (LOL, kidding), if cutting it will make you happier, then go ahead and cut it. If you don't like it shorter, it will eventually grow back.

I personally grow my hair because I HATE HATE HATE short hair on me. I have yet to find a style shorter than about collarbone/shoulder length that looks even halfway flattering on my face. (My youngest niece, on the other hand, is sporting a pixie cut now that looks too cute for words on her, but she got her mother's more delicate facial bones rather than the stronger features from her father's--my brother--side.) I also like the versatility of long hair. I can wear it loose, I can wear it half-up, or I can wear it all the way up in a number of different styles, even at barely APL.

TL;DR is my vote is do with your hair what makes you happy. It's your hair and it should make YOU happy.

[Waverly]

It does sound like a shorter length would be something that would make your life easier. I'm glad you like the faux-undercut look, even though I can't really understand how it (or real one) would help with hair grapping.
The side/undercut idea was just because I like it. It's about as far away from 'mumsy' as I can think of! Having thought about it though, it definitely would help with the grabbing. For some reason, babies always seem to grab the little wispy hairs at the sides of your head or the nape of your neck and they hurt the most. But it was mainly thrown into the discussion because I like it.
I do appreciate all the replies I've had. I've decided to wait 2 months to see if I feel differently when DS2 is less grabby and more independent. However, if I still feel the same, I'm going to chop to wherever I please. I think waist is my hair's happy place when it's long but I'm not afraid of chopping much shorter and starting again if I feel like it. I'm lucky, I know this, my hair grows fast. It'll grow again.

[ladyfey]

My 6 year old son still likes to rub my bra strap for comfort, right on top of my shoulder. When he reaches to get it, he ALWAYS manages to rip at the hairs at my nape. So they are all ragged looking all the time, no matter how I wear my hair up. And my hair is always up in a bun.

[fairyblood]

I cut my hair into a pixie when I was pregnant with DS, and I soon learned that babies will grab any hair, no matter how short. I mean, he will tug on his father's chest hair if given a chance. I guess what I'm trying to say is, cut or don't cut your hair because it's what you want, not because you think you have to. It's your hair, it should bring you joy. :cheer: