Secret Hairlength Competition

[Decemberrose]

First of all, I don't know if there is already a thread like this. I got inspired from the Odd reasons you want longer hair thread.
This could be fun :)

Do you secretly compete with someone having the longest hair?
Why do you think that is?
Other thourghts about this..

I feel it is good motivation because it keeps me away from scissors.

:)

[Nettyx]

There is a girl at work who is trying to grow her hair for her wedding and she is generally nasty to me. She doesn't look after her hair and it secret pleases me that my hair is now much longer and healthier than hers. I have to stop myself from taking it down in front of her and swishing it!

[lapushka]

I don't envy another's hair. I just look at my own and don't secretely admire or envy anybody their hair. I think this thread could turn into a trainwreck any second now. :(

[TwilightShadow]

Well, I have the longest hair at work and there's no chance of anyone surpassing me in the the next few years. I also work part time with students at med school and there were some girls with long hair (even for LHC standards). One of them definitely had longer hair than me, I think it was about BCL, but she trimmed a few inches and I think we're kinda similar in length now (I'm hip length).

I did once see a student (not from my groups) with long, thick hair, which looked about classic length.

[chen bao jun]

I do a wierd kind of hair competition. It's not that I expect to be the longest one or envy others. Its that I'm checking if my hair is 'really' long against others.
I look at people if their hair looks long to me and think, My hair would be as long as that, if I straightened it, so I must have long hair, although you can't tell..
Also, if someone says to someone else that their hair has grown and that it looks long, I feel happy if I know mine 'really' is as long as that, or close to it (though you can't tell).
It cheers me up, and helps me to get over the silly sadness sometimes that I'm on this hairgrowing journey and have made a ton of progress, really, but my hair looks, as you can see in my siggy below, barely APL. I get a lot of compliments on 'nice curls' 'pretty hair' and especially 'its sooo thick' but nobody ever notices that my hair has grown at all in the last three years and it went from barely at my shoulder (stretched) to midback stretched and if I straightened it, it would be very close to waist and --no one can tell.

[-Fern]

:meditate: I try not to attach a feeling to observations. :meditate:

But seriously, I think lapushka has a point... when I start to compare myself with others, it generally makes me feel like less, even when I am "winning" in the comparison.

To be honest, no one ever taught me how to take care of my hair... I am almost 30 and just now learning--and that's thanks to LHC. And if LHC has taught me anything, it's that we are all SO different, and there is no one right way. :o So how can I judge someone else for being different from me?

[elvenelk]

Im not in copetition but I do notice that my concept of long hair has changed as my hair got longer. I never seem to think my hair is long. But when I look back at what I used to consider I think wow.. So I guess its relative.

Id like to know how I would feel if I cut my hair short.

[EdG]

We try not to be competitive. It isn't fair because people can't change their terminal length.

However, I note that over years of LHC meets, almost all of the local gang now have hair down to the lower half of their bodies. :hmm:
Ed

[Ambrielle]

I love noticing people's hair but from a point of admiration and to motivate me a little when i need a boost. :) I don't experience jealousy or envy of anyone's hair but i understand why others do. I do think it has something to do with one's self esteem as you pointed out. I know from personal experience when i stopped seeking the approval of others and accepted myself in every aspect my perspective on things changed dramatically. It's all about self acceptance and being comfortable in your own skin, it's unlikely you'll find yourself competing once you really like yourself as you are and entirely through your own eyes.

[Decemberrose]

I see all of your points :)
This was never meant to be a thread going the negative direction, but I can now see that it could easily happen.
I don't feel envy or jealous, I admire the hair, and that motivates me a lot :) But I am being insecure of myself because I don't feel like ME with short hair. I know it is just hair, but there is just so much emotion attached to it, weird.

What I meant with this thread was, do you secretly compete to get motivated to grow your hair out? Not being jealous of others hair of course. Not trying to put anyone down.
:)

[-Fern]

What I meant with this thread was, do you secretly compete to get motivated to grow your hair out? Not being jealous of others hair of course. Not trying to put anyone down.
:)

Don't worry, I didn't take it that way. =) Like I said, I just noticed that when I start to compare, I start to get more self-conscious, too...

But I do compete with myself! My hair is officially the longest it has ever been. I remember reading in a book (probably 15 years ago!) about a female character who had waist-length hair, and the way it framed her chest, and I always dreamed of having hair that long, but "knew" that I couldn't have it. I thought my terminal length was shoulder-blade/APL! So now that I'm almost to BSL it's like... :cheer: YEAH! Never been so happy to prove myself wrong.

[Wildcat Diva]

There was a thread on this or similar but for the life of me cannot name it.

It's interesting to notice how long one's hair is getting due to patience and unconventional practices. It's nice to notice my hair is longer than many people on TV commercials and such who are supposed to have beautiful long hair. It's hard not to compare. Does that make a person bad?

[Decemberrose]

Mods: if this is or will turn into a trainwreck, please feel free to delete it :)
(Brainfart :) ) was never my intention...

[Decemberrose]

There was a thread on this or similar but for the life of me cannot name it.

It's interesting to notice how long one's hair is getting due to patience and unconventional practices. It's nice to notice my hair is longer than many people on TV commercials and such who are supposed to have beautiful long hair. It's hard not to compare. Does that make a person bad?

No I think it is natural that we from time to time compare ourselves to others.
We are maybe just trying to make the best version of ourselves. :)

[Decemberrose]

Fern, thats great to compete with yourself :) But it just gets a little boring for me sometimes. :) I need real life hairspiration. ;)

[StellaKatherine]

:hmm: I do not have anyone to really compete with. I have the longest hair in my family, longest at work, longest withing friends and any other people I am dealing on a daily basis. I sometimes see much more gorgeous hair than my which can be in 1. thickness 2. colour... but it would be silly to compete with as you can't change the texture of your hair. I had short hair last time at age of 5, so having a long hair is normal thing to me :) I could possibly think differently if I would see more of a super long hair around here :D

[endlessly]

When I first started to think of my hair as very long, I'll freely admit that I was quite happy knowing I had the longest hair most people had ever seen. But I think most of that was due to the compliments I'd constantly receive - my hair wasn't just long because, let's face it, anyone can grow their hair long if they give up the scissors, but my hair was extremely healthy and in excellent condition on top of that. I had a lot of people jealous of my hair when I was in high school, received a lot of threats as a result, but it was nice to be "the only one".

Once I had trimmed my hair before heading off to college, it was hard to see others with gorgeous long hair because I missed mine so much, but I never really secretly competed about length. I did, however, judge others based on the health of their hair and that was especially true when I saw women with extremely long hair that honestly looked like a bird's nest because it was in such bad condition.

[hinabelle]

When I see long hair, what I think to myself is, "Wow, that hair looks really healthy!"
or, "I want my hair to be longer than that!" or, "That's exactly the length I want!"
I pay a lot more attention to the hair of others now and it's fun to compare my hair
to others since it's all in good spirits. :) I also like to talk about hair with my friends now!

[Shibe]

I think competition is a fine line too close to 'i win because my hair is longer'. I don't feel that it's healthy at all. There will always be someone with longer, healthier, or thicker hair than you. There is already too much 'I have this, so I am higher than you' thought process in the world today. I have admired someone elses hair, and wondered what I could do to get that kind of health and length- but never let it get to the point of 'Im a better person because _____'. Those thoughts alone already make me NOT the better person.

[Todd]

Its not a "competition", but I sometimes do a quick scan around the room, like in a restaurant, a store, wherever, and note if anyone has hair longer than mine. More and more lately they don't! Which is a feel-good on my end I think. It just means I'm making progress.

[Decemberrose]

Well, this was not meant to be.
Moderators please delete this thread :)
I obviously didn't think this through.

;) now I feel like the devil...

Thanks :)

[EmmAutumn]

I find myself comparing my hair to other people's hair, but in a kind of weird and reassuring way, like:

Wow, her hair looks nice. Looks pretty long, too.
It must be around BSL.
My hair is around BSL.
My hair must be getting long.

[chen bao jun]

When I first started to think of my hair as very long, I'll freely admit that I was quite happy knowing I had the longest hair most people had ever seen. But I think most of that was due to the compliments I'd constantly receive - my hair wasn't just long because, let's face it, anyone can grow their hair long if they give up the scissors, but my hair was extremely healthy and in excellent condition on top of that. I had a lot of people jealous of my hair when I was in high school, received a lot of threats as a result, but it was nice to be "the only one".



I was in this position most of my life due to being black and having hair that is an envied texture, as well as always being 'long' for a black person's--I am 'lucky' if you want to put it that way to have hair that you can fry and it can still look healthy (though it isn't) and be at least APL, often bra strap (while fried) and I was living among people who thought they had 'long hair' if it could hit their shoulders (because it was universally totally fried). So sad.

Being envied is no fun in my book, whether it comes out with people beating you up and threatening to cut your hair off every day at school, or just simply all drawing together and leaving you out ALL the time (because you supposedly don't understand their problems). I have family members, actually all the female cousins from my mom's side of the family, every single one, who hate me and my sister and can't even be polite TO THIS DAY (and we are all in our fifties or sixties) because we have the hair they wanted.

There was recently a whole bunch of drama in my family because I was supposedly 'boasting' about my hair on facebook (a friend started selling flexi 8's and I linked her facebook page for some thick haired friends, saying flexis were great for thick hair). My cousins aren't my friends on facebook but my guess is that they saw the posts because I'm my mother's friend and they are my mother's friends and I had friends of friends enabled.

I think this may be what Lapushka means when she says comparison is awful even when you 'win'. Its so much nice to be encouraged, and what I love about LHC and the internet in general now is that while genetics may count, there is all this information out there now about how all hairtypes can have long hair, with patience and the right techniques; people aren't stuck.

P.S. On another note, I realize as I write that a reason why I am so hyperconscious of my hair not appearing to be 'long' is because it was fried for so many years and I'm used to thinking of the length as the length it is when processed. I think of myself as having BSL length hair, which is definitely 'long hair' in the eyes of everyone I know who isn't on LHC. no matter what color they are and because when its natural it has shrinkage and doesn't appear to be the length it is, I feel as if its just CRAWLING to BSL while curly and thus I keep looking at other people and thinking, 'my hair is as long as that, my hair is longer than that, it's just that its not straightened.' I PREFER it not straightened but wow, a whole lot of my image of myself is clearly based on having long hair. Not my self-esteem, because I know I look fine, but my idea of what I look like, or I WOULDN'T CARE if I looked as if I have long hair or not (and I do)

[MINAKO]

I do not compete with anyone because if i started with one person that would lead to another and probably end up in alot of frustration. I try to let the people with more beautiful. hai then my own be my inspiration, and basically dont look back on anything behind me, on my own terms of course. But if someone wants a tip on how to care for their hair im open to share what i learned in reality as much as i do it here. Never start the conversation by myself tho.

[animetor7]

When I first started growing my hair out, my best friend and I had a friendly competition about who could reach hip length first. But it was all for fun and when my friend decided to bleach her hair blonder we stopped. We joke about it, but we really just like to have a real friend in our life to talk hair with and share tips. So, not a secret competition, but just all in good fun.

[Carolyn]

I don't have any local real life long hair friends so I couldn't compete if I wanted to. I did secretly compete with other girls in my dorm in college. A couple of them were great inspiration to me. I have to admit I will look over other women in a group or at an event and notice if anyone else has hair as long as mine. I'll also notice if their ends are nice and thick and blunt and get a small feeling of smugness with I think mine is better. I'm always comparing my ponytail thickness to other women. Last summer we were guests of my son's Nationwide team and his team was pitting next to Kyle Busch. I was sitting on top of the pitbox and was watching Samantha Busch. My ponytail was longer and thicker than hers. I admit I was feeling very smug at that. I have pics of her to prove it lol. I'd never say anything to anyone. It's just a party in my head.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

When I first began growing my hair I was secretly competing with my family and friends to have the longest hair. I have had the longest hair for a couple of years now, and I find competing with family and friends rather pointless now. Also, if I compare my hair with other LHCers it makes me feel pretty inadequate as there are so many here with longer/thicker/prettier/better ends then me. I don't want to feel inadequate, so some time ago I decided to concentrate on working on making my hair the best it can be. The best that my genetics and tender loving care can produce. I cannot do more than that, as my hair is what it is and will never be like someone else's. It is just - my hair, and has its own characteristics, good or bad. I have to live with it and learn to accept it's faults. And that's ok. I have come to realise that comparing and competing with others is - well, not uplifting or constructive.

But I did begin my hair growing journey by secretly competing with others, I have to admit.

[two_wheels]

In my opinion, long term hair growth, terminal length and hair loss are not things you can control to a great extent. So what's the point in competing? It's like, I don't know, competing to have big boobs or to be taller than other people.

Maybe I misinterpret this question though.

I do the thing that Chen does - I look at other people and think ooh, their hair is long! Then I think, well, t_w, it's BSL like yours, so why do you not think your hair is long?

[neko_kawaii]

Well, this was not meant to be.
Moderators please delete this thread :)
I obviously didn't think this through.

;) now I feel like the devil...

Thanks :)

Nope. I think this has turned into a nicely productive discussion. Be proud.

[arr]

I don't feel jealous of other people's hair. I do notice if someone has longer hair than me when I'm out and about, which if you don't count teenagers, rarely happens. If it does I'm just very interested and amazed and wonder if they might be on LHC. I think that if someone in my close circle was also a longhair I'd be thrilled because I would have someone to obsess over hair with. I have actually tried to encourage a few to grow long with me but so far, no takers.

[two_wheels]

Well, this was not meant to be.
Moderators please delete this thread :)
I obviously didn't think this through.

;) now I feel like the devil...

Thanks :)

It's actually a very interesting topic, it was brought up neutrally and despite my decided view on the subject I think it's great for people to examine their feelings on this subject and have it out in the open :applause:

[curlylocks85]

I see all of your points :)
This was never meant to be a thread going the negative direction, but I can now see that it could easily happen.
I don't feel envy or jealous about my sisters hair, I admire it, and that motivates me a lot :) But I am being insecure of myself because I don't feel like ME with short hair. I know it is just hair, but there is just so much emotion attached to it, weird.

What I meant with this thread was, do you secretly compete to get motivated to grow your hair out? Not being jealous of others hair of course. Not trying to put anyone down.
:)

I can relate. I too secretly wish my hair to be the longest. It has nothing to do with envy, jealousy or self-esteem. I covet my hair being the longest just because I want to have the longest hair. I am not sure why your intention for this thread was taken out of context, but I completely understood what you meant for this thread: Great idea. I am glad I am not alone in my thinking. :)

[RainbowBowser]

This isn't even necessarily jealousy. I've already won the contest with myself and likely among the rest of my family for long hair.
I do see my friend's hair and get mild jealousy, but not in the sense that I would ever wish negative things about her hair, I just wish it was that long or longer.
So I think these feelings are normal and healthy in moderation.

[lapushka]

:meditate: I try not to attach a feeling to observations. :meditate:

But seriously, I think lapushka has a point... when I start to compare myself with others, it generally makes me feel like less, even when I am "winning" in the comparison.

To be honest, no one ever taught me how to take care of my hair... I am almost 30 and just now learning--and that's thanks to LHC. And if LHC has taught me anything, it's that we are all SO different, and there is no one right way. :o So how can I judge someone else for being different from me?

I was in my mid to late thirties when I discovered I had wavy hair instead of straight/frizzy hair. It took me a while to accept my natural texture but ever since that time... haven't looked back. You'll get there. LHC is amazing! Has been and still is for me!

[Decemberrose]

I knew I wasn't alone ;)
Yes, it is actually interesting to observe yourself when you are around other longhairs. We notice so many details about others peoples hair. It's like a hobby.

I told the mods to delete the thread as I was afraid of being booooooed out of here. And didn't want this to turn ugly. Time will tell what happens :)

I know I do this "competition" because I'm sad that I had to cut my hair off, and because I don't feel good about my appearance anymore. I do know that jealousy is not the way to go, I have a friend who does that, so annoying :( but I think it is impotant to know or think about why you compete, IF you do :)

[swearnsue]

I don't really feel very competitive probably because of my age. But when I'm out and about I DO think about wanting my hair to look really good AND gray at the same time. It's like I want to encourage other women to grow their gray hair longer. I want my hair to look as attractive as possible without any heating tools, perms, box dye. It's sort of a competition with myself.

Last week I saw a young mother with beautiful long ombre golden to brunette wavy hair and I stopped in the parking lot and stared at her. My DH said, "Hon, what the heck are you doing?" LOL. Of course I lied and said "nothing, why?"

I don't feel bad about myself if my hair isn't as long or healthy as someone else's because it happens 95% of the time anyway. But in about 10 years I would like to have people say, wow, look at that old lady with the long silver hair, it's really beautiful.

[lapushka]

I told the mods to delete the thread as I was afraid of being booooooed out of here. And didn't want this to turn ugly. Time will tell what happens :)

I was afraid it was going to go downhill fast, with negativity and all, but it appears not to be doing that. ;)

[chen bao jun]

One thing I have sincerely admired about Lapushka for a long time (besides her honesty) is that she is always so quick to gracefully concede having been mistaken.

and what she said was a possibility, although it didn't happen. :)

People can be very strange about hair. I had a friend who was very snarky with me, to say the least and discouraging when I started trying to grow my hair, which was odd because she had beautiful long hair already (though a very different hairtype). She's stopped now, thank goodness.

And a bizarre thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my husband took me with him on a business trip to Las Vegas. I had my hair up and he said he really wanted me to wear it down, so I went into one of the uber fancy bathrooms to take it down and just quietly stood in front of a mirror, having taken the hairstick out, organizing it (because curly hair doesn't fall or 'bundrop'. Mine falls down a little bit nowadays but can actually go like, from being up to sticking out perpendicularly, which would not be what the hubby had in mind--plus the curls always need a little'organizing' to be flattering and sometimes even to be separated properly).

Anyway there I was, concentrating on this and there was this very pretty young girl eyeing me from across at the sinks--I could see her in the mirror after a while and wondered why she was looking at me, because it was noticeable. Long story short, when she finished washing her hands, she came and stood right next to me and just--swished her hair around. So she almost hit me with it. It was so strange. She did not comb or brush it or do anything except come and stand right next to me and move her head so that her hair swished back and forth three or four times--and then she walked out with a satisfied kind of smirk that was really--odd. I didn't feel bad at all, but I felt confused. I am not one to imagine an incident like that and it was so pointless. It was definitely felt competitive, but there was so no point to it, not only were we alone in the bathroom (women can do that like that when men are around, I know, but there weren't), but she must have been maybe 25 years old and I'm 58 and her hair was like waist length and mine appears to be barely bra strap and it was like, I'm so far away from being anything like competition, even if you only consider the age difference, if you think that like--what would be the point?

She had beautiful hair, but I hadn't been noticing it at all, until she was right in my face doing that number. So strange. I can't remember anything like t hat ever happening to me before and it was just--odd.

[two_wheels]

How weird, Chen. If she was doing it on purpose. then what a small life she must have. If not, then... what? Sometimes there is no knowing.

[lapushka]

One thing I have sincerely admired about Lapushka for a long time (besides her honesty) is that she is always so quick to gracefully concede having been mistaken.

and what she said was a possibility, although it didn't happen. :)

Oh chen, that is so sweet of you to say. :o :)

[chen bao jun]

Yes, I'll never know.

all I can think of is that she is very proud of her hair (rightfully, so, it was lovely) and so competitive that when she sees anyone else doing their hair, anyone at all, she feel s compelled to express, look at MY hair, which is strange--small life, as you say, if this is the case.

Seeing nothing of that on here.

[lapis_lazuli]

I'll admit, I think it's cool to have the longest hair out of all my friends and family. But I certainly wouldn't be discouraged to know someone with longer hair than mine (maybe then I'd finally have someone to obsess over hair with ;) )

[trolleypup]

Would be pretty pointless for me to be running this competition in my head...not counting LHC members. However, I know people have had the competition in their heads about me...and then I actually come by with my hair down and they come up and tell me I won. :eyeroll:

I agree the 25 year old swishing her hair lives in a small world in her head. Now, if someone is swishing and flourishing their hair around in public like they are something special...I'll admit to having done a simple bun drop and walk by.

[chen bao jun]

lol, trolleypup, I'd love to be a fly on the wall and see that.

[MINAKO]

Lol, i have been reading terminal length throughout this thread pretty often now, so i guess thiwouldb a ke point to any potential competition. That leaves me put anyways. Most likely i do not even want to know. My goal lengthkeeps getting longer but theres no way for me i would want to grow past knee, no mater what my genetics are enabling me to.
Idk, perfection is something different for everyone and theres only so much we can make out of our own hairtype. I know i can never grow the type of hair i most prefer in general, but im willing to throw in all the efort it takes to come as close as possible. Its anachivement for myself, not a challenge with another person.
I work in fashion and people are very competitive about effing everything regarding looks, i find it rather tiring and immature, not motivating or orginal.

[swearnsue]

One thing I have sincerely admired about Lapushka for a long time (besides her honesty) is that she is always so quick to gracefully concede having been mistaken.

and what she said was a possibility, although it didn't happen. :)

People can be very strange about hair. I had a friend who was very snarky with me, to say the least and discouraging when I started trying to grow my hair, which was odd because she had beautiful long hair already (though a very different hairtype). She's stopped now, thank goodness.

And a bizarre thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my husband took me with him on a business trip to Las Vegas. I had my hair up and he said he really wanted me to wear it down, so I went into one of the uber fancy bathrooms to take it down and just quietly stood in front of a mirror, having taken the hairstick out, organizing it (because curly hair doesn't fall or 'bundrop'. Mine falls down a little bit nowadays but can actually go like, from being up to sticking out perpendicularly, which would not be what the hubby had in mind--plus the curls always need a little'organizing' to be flattering and sometimes even to be separated properly).

Anyway there I was, concentrating on this and there was this very pretty young girl eyeing me from across at the sinks--I could see her in the mirror after a while and wondered why she was looking at me, because it was noticeable. Long story short, when she finished washing her hands, she came and stood right next to me and just--swished her hair around. So she almost hit me with it. It was so strange. She did not comb or brush it or do anything except come and stand right next to me and move her head so that her hair swished back and forth three or four times--and then she walked out with a satisfied kind of smirk that was really--odd. I didn't feel bad at all, but I felt confused. I am not one to imagine an incident like that and it was so pointless. It was definitely felt competitive, but there was so no point to it, not only were we alone in the bathroom (women can do that like that when men are around, I know, but there weren't), but she must have been maybe 25 years old and I'm 58 and her hair was like waist length and mine appears to be barely bra strap and it was like, I'm so far away from being anything like competition, even if you only consider the age difference, if you think that like--what would be the point?

She had beautiful hair, but I hadn't been noticing it at all, until she was right in my face doing that number. So strange. I can't remember anything like t hat ever happening to me before and it was just--odd.

That is odd all right and I wonder if it's the way young women are these days, more competitive with other women instead of feeling a sisterhood with other women. If so, that's sad. I would take it as a complement if a young woman felt so "threatened" by my beauty that she had to preen and display her plumage in front of me! lol

[Red Rapunzel]

I basically just love having long hair - especially as an older lady (no, Mom, we don't have to chop off our hair at age 30!). Tomorrow I turn 67 and I still have long red hair!! Although I love and crave length, I have found that I just have to have my hair trimmed once it reaches tailbone length (where it is now) because it thins out too much in the lower hemline at that length. Soooo, I will be having mine cut back soon - likely to BSL - so it'll look neater and thicker. Amazingly, my hair still grows pretty fast so I would soon be back at waist-length again (not to worry!).

Although my reason for having long hair did not start out to be competitive, I recently encountered another "senior" lady in my building - a grandmother of 8 who also has hair about my length and I do now feel some competition brewing between us regarding our hair lengths at our more advanced ages. I noticed this when we first met and she grabbed my hair - acting amazed at its length - even though her own hair was at a similar length. I am, perhaps, a decade or more older than she and still with my natural color (by the grace of God). So I think the unstated competition between us will actually be good for our hair length goals and our hair care regimens in general. And it'll make me come back to this site more often to gain the decisive and unfair advantage - Lol! Let the competition begin!

[ohdokey]

The Lady Galadriel! Ha, actually, rather than competition with her, I should say...Lady Crush, i.e., majorly inspiring.

[Ashflower89]

ohhh i love doing that. when i cut my last pixie, two other girls at my job got pixies too... and when i got past shoulder and they had cut theirs again, i thought "yess im ahead now" lol.

also used to do it with my boyfriends ex. was always jealous of her hair.

[chen bao jun]

That is odd all right and I wonder if it's the way young women are these days, more competitive with other women instead of feeling a sisterhood with other women. If so, that's sad. I would take it as a complement if a young woman felt so "threatened" by my beauty that she had to preen and display her plumage in front of me! lol

lol, that would be hilarious, but I sort of doubt it. In the bathroom with just the two of us? I felt like it was more, let me show this pitiful old lady what h-a-i-r is like, made her statement and made an exit. Maybe she had just lost a bundle at the slot machines outside and was cheering herself up thinking well, I still have beautiful hair.

Which she indeed did. It was dark brown and highly styled with cones, curling iron and probably straightened before being curled but it looked like hair commercial hair and when she moved it (and almost hit me with the stuff) it moved like hair commercial hair, too. How was she to know that I've been there and done that (the straightening and then curling iron thing, though I must say I never looked like a hair commercial, too thick for that) and feel very satisfied with my dream LHC hair, whether she likes it or not? And I knew that when I came out my husband would be thrilled that I took it down for him, sooooo......

Las Vegas is glamorous but there were a lot of sad people there. and wow, homeless all over the place as soon as you stepped outside, so grateful to be given a buck, quite a contrast to the crowd inside.

[animetor7]

Yeah, I find the jealous competition thing weird, especially if you don't know the person. The competition with my friend was joking and all in good fun, mainly we just liked being similar lengths and able to take cute pictures "braided together".

[vega]

I'm not really in competition with anyone, I'm more competitive with myself, iveblearnt to embrace my texture my hair is really curly and bouncy when hair is pulled out it's waist when curly it's shoulder so I'm never going to win long hair contest but acteped and working with what I got

[Decemberrose]

Yeah, I find the jealous competition thing weird, especially if you don't know the person. The competition with my friend was joking and all in good fun, mainly we just liked being similar lengths and able to take cute pictures "braided together".

That's cute :) I have seen pictures of this before. Yes, friendly competition never hurt. It can be fun, I also share tips with my sister :)

But I have it difficult doing that to my friend who felt very smug when I went short. If my hair is up, she will always ask me how long it has got. She has alopecia..... I would love to give her advise more often, but knowing that she feels so competitive, it just makes me stubbern! Childish yes, and I try to ignore it and change the subject.
I don't feel like being in a competition with her, I don't want all the smugness around.

[vega]

Hi Decemberrose , well she doesn't sound like a close friend the way you described her, she is probably upset if she has Alopecia poor thing , maybe let her know about this. Community so she can get tips , my Aunt has alopecia and it had a lot of phscological issues and insecurities , are you sure she is jealous ,it sounds like the poor thing is insecure

[Decemberrose]

I never thourght of that she could be so insecure. Maybe she is.
She is a good friend of mine. I maybe have to be less stubbern and maybe she will let it all go :) thanks for your advise.

[HumanBean]

I think I'd do secretly compete with others whose hair texture I admire and could reasonably attain. Not so much length at this point because I am happy with my length now.

There is one woman at work with longer hair than I...I don't think she is at terminal but she might be. She could easily be on this board though I don't think she is. Her hair is in very nice condition, fine and super straight. She does not dye it, wears it down (it's hip length) or in pony tails, I've only seen it in a bun with a stick once. I don't envy it because the texture of her hair is so different from mine, I could never achieve it.

On the other hand, there is another woman at my work whose hair is about APL who is a natural 2C. Through my hair would never be 2C, she does wear her hair straightened a lot, with the waves stretched out so it looks more like the 2A I am, but on her it looks bouncy and flows and is just generally, gorgeous. So yea, I aware that in many ways my search for the right products to achieve less frizz and the right kind of flow to my hair...is definitely inspired by her. But we talk about our hair together (and fashion etc., we have similar taste) so it doesn't really feel competitive.

[MINAKO]

I just remembered something, reading about the texture change that HumanBean mentioned on her workmate.
When i was little i used to like movies with Nicole Kidman, because she was probably the most recognizable curly head. However, one time i saw her with straightened hair and i was soooooo pissed off because i wanted to know how this happened and nobody could explain it to me. I think thats what originally set off my idea of trying out straight styles. Then there was Kerri Russel as well and back then i was maybe jealous and competitive and super determined to start researching how to do this, lol.

[Nadine <3]

Kind of. I've been friends with the same girl since preschool and we're now both in our 20's and growing up she ALWAYS had this thick, bushy curly waist length + hair, while mine was always at APL or shorter just because hairdressers always told me my hair was to thin to be any longer. Now, I'm growing mine out and she had to cut a bunch of damage off so mine is a few inches longer than hers for the first time in my life. I would have been happier but loosing all that length made my best friend really sad, so while I definitely notice mine was longer, that's all it was. I'm to busy telling her it looks so much healthier, it looks cute, it will grow back out, ect.

It's not so much a competition, just something I noticed that made me happy for about 30 seconds. Then I realized my friend was really sad and it wasn't so great.

[proo]

Since joining the LHC and thereby coming to know/understand my true hair texture,
I FINALLY, after 56 years, really love my hair.
It's longer, stronger, thicker and shinier than it's ever been,
plus has the 'advantage' of being predominantly silver.
I definitely get a vibe from my sisters who wrestle/dye/blowfry into submission daily -
not exactly jealousy or competition,
more like "how does she get away with it"?
When we travel together I'm able to be out the door in a pretty crown braid in about 10 minutes
while they work their way through a pile of products and appliances to fry again another day.
That sounds pretty damn smug of me,
but believe me, I'm just glad I stumbled upon this place in time.

[lapushka]

but believe me, I'm just glad I stumbled upon this place in time.

I think I was in my thirties, yes I was. Early thirties. That was about 10 years ago. Hope to be reaching classic this year, so it's going to be quite the celebration for me. :o :D

[curlylocks85]

One thing I have sincerely admired about Lapushka for a long time (besides her honesty) is that she is always so quick to gracefully concede having been mistaken.

and what she said was a possibility, although it didn't happen. :)

People can be very strange about hair. I had a friend who was very snarky with me, to say the least and discouraging when I started trying to grow my hair, which was odd because she had beautiful long hair already (though a very different hairtype). She's stopped now, thank goodness.

And a bizarre thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my husband took me with him on a business trip to Las Vegas. I had my hair up and he said he really wanted me to wear it down, so I went into one of the uber fancy bathrooms to take it down and just quietly stood in front of a mirror, having taken the hairstick out, organizing it (because curly hair doesn't fall or 'bundrop'. Mine falls down a little bit nowadays but can actually go like, from being up to sticking out perpendicularly, which would not be what the hubby had in mind--plus the curls always need a little'organizing' to be flattering and sometimes even to be separated properly).

Anyway there I was, concentrating on this and there was this very pretty young girl eyeing me from across at the sinks--I could see her in the mirror after a while and wondered why she was looking at me, because it was noticeable. Long story short, when she finished washing her hands, she came and stood right next to me and just--swished her hair around. So she almost hit me with it. It was so strange. She did not comb or brush it or do anything except come and stand right next to me and move her head so that her hair swished back and forth three or four times--and then she walked out with a satisfied kind of smirk that was really--odd. I didn't feel bad at all, but I felt confused. I am not one to imagine an incident like that and it was so pointless. It was definitely felt competitive, but there was so no point to it, not only were we alone in the bathroom (women can do that like that when men are around, I know, but there weren't), but she must have been maybe 25 years old and I'm 58 and her hair was like waist length and mine appears to be barely bra strap and it was like, I'm so far away from being anything like competition, even if you only consider the age difference, if you think that like--what would be the point?

She had beautiful hair, but I hadn't been noticing it at all, until she was right in my face doing that number. So strange. I can't remember anything like t hat ever happening to me before and it was just--odd.

Wow, that is weird. Maybe she felt insecure about herself and took it out on you? Whatever the reason, your hair is gorgeous no matter the length. :)

[curlylocks85]

Sorry double post


One thing I have sincerely admired about Lapushka for a long time (besides her honesty) is that she is always so quick to gracefully concede having been mistaken.

and what she said was a possibility, although it didn't happen. :)

People can be very strange about hair. I had a friend who was very snarky with me, to say the least and discouraging when I started trying to grow my hair, which was odd because she had beautiful long hair already (though a very different hairtype). She's stopped now, thank goodness.

And a bizarre thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my husband took me with him on a business trip to Las Vegas. I had my hair up and he said he really wanted me to wear it down, so I went into one of the uber fancy bathrooms to take it down and just quietly stood in front of a mirror, having taken the hairstick out, organizing it (because curly hair doesn't fall or 'bundrop'. Mine falls down a little bit nowadays but can actually go like, from being up to sticking out perpendicularly, which would not be what the hubby had in mind--plus the curls always need a little'organizing' to be flattering and sometimes even to be separated properly).

Anyway there I was, concentrating on this and there was this very pretty young girl eyeing me from across at the sinks--I could see her in the mirror after a while and wondered why she was looking at me, because it was noticeable. Long story short, when she finished washing her hands, she came and stood right next to me and just--swished her hair around. So she almost hit me with it. It was so strange. She did not comb or brush it or do anything except come and stand right next to me and move her head so that her hair swished back and forth three or four times--and then she walked out with a satisfied kind of smirk that was really--odd. I didn't feel bad at all, but I felt confused. I am not one to imagine an incident like that and it was so pointless. It was definitely felt competitive, but there was so no point to it, not only were we alone in the bathroom (women can do that like that when men are around, I know, but there weren't), but she must have been maybe 25 years old and I'm 58 and her hair was like waist length and mine appears to be barely bra strap and it was like, I'm so far away from being anything like competition, even if you only consider the age difference, if you think that like--what would be the point?

She had beautiful hair, but I hadn't been noticing it at all, until she was right in my face doing that number. So strange. I can't remember anything like t hat ever happening to me before and it was just--odd.

Wow, that is weird. Maybe she felt insecure about herself and took it out on you? Whatever the reason, your hair is gorgeous no matter the length. :)

[epicrosie]

I'm in a little secret hair competition with my DBF as we've both got longish hair. He's just about APL and I'm just about to get BSL (a few months more I'm hoping). I am determined to keep growing longer and healthier as we both cut the majority of our hair about a month apart. He went from SL to buzz cut and I went from BSL to chin length.

People comment on his hair a lot as he is lovely ginger/auburn colour and I want both of us to have people compliment our hair :D Its a little vain but I want to have people compliment mine as well lol

[peachyleshy]

I used to feel more like that when I was a teenager. It would be a silent competition in my head against my friends. But just like me they would go through different phases and cut their hair at different times.
I've never really felt like I competing with my sister for the longest hair. Though, her's has been longer than mine has ever been a few times. But she doesn't obsess over her hair like me. She just let it grow. Plus she's alot shorter than me so I think that helps a bit.
Now I don't really feel like there's anyone in particular to be in competition with. However, I would like to feel like I'm "the girl with long hair"..

[meteor]

Personally, I've never experienced that sort of competition, but I don't mind if it motivates some folks into taking care of their hair and if it's friendly "competition". I think if I were badly tested by life (losing all hair due to disease, for example), I'd be competition with my old, healthy self rather than others. Hair is too personal for me and I just want my own to be healthy and at its best, and I always wish the same to all others, too.

I do really admire some people's hair though, for sure! :D And I'm certainly very thankful for all the hair inspiration I see!

[Doreen]

I think I'm mostly in a competition with myself! I look back at old pictures of when I was a child and young teen and how shiny and thick my hair was. It's still pretty thick but has been difficult to maintain thickness throughout the entire length. And for shininess. When I washed every day, it was always very shiny and more voluminous (probably because I was stripping it of the oils with no recovery period) and I feel this jealousy of my past self like "Wow, I did that once, why can't I do it now?" and just have to remember that back then it was often very tangly and matted, even if the outward appearance wasn't so bad.

[trolleypup]

It wasn't a competition, but one time, in a restaurant with Dianyla and another LHCer longer than me, the waitress came up and started gushing about my hair...because I was sitting in the light and they were in the shadows. Later, the waitress came back and apologized and gushed about their hair too. But for a moment, it felt kinda good.

[lapushka]

It wasn't a competition, but one time, in a restaurant with Dianyla and another LHCer longer than me, the waitress came up and started gushing about my hair...because I was sitting in the light and they were in the shadows. Later, the waitress came back and apologized and gushed about their hair too. But for a moment, it felt kinda good.

:lol: You sneaky devil, you! :) ;)