The "i'm discouraged" thread

[cdonald2]

I have been thinking lately about my own hair journey, I was a compulsive trimmer up until recently. It was a result of a perm gone horribly wrong.... and the dual texture drove me NUTS!!! before that i was never longer than apl. ( i used alot of damaging stuff on my hair back in the day)

Even knowing the reasons why my hair is still short, I get discouraged at how far i need to go before I reach my goal. I discovered the length of my hair is tied to the level of self esteem i have as well, when it was longer, i felt more attractive.

Now i find myself asking often "hey, how long did it take your hair to grow to your waist from when it was my length" or "how can i quicken the process" etc. as well as thinking that i set my growth length at waist because i worry that hip is unachievable to me since i have never had hair that long....

I have gotten alot fo support since i started, and for that I am grateful. I am sure there are others who have (and currently are) feeling quite the same way.

I want to make an encouragement thread for those who are feeling down about where they are in their growth journey. so we can keep growing and feeling good about where we are...

sorry if another thread like this exists... i havent seen one

[MicheleZ]

I'd make smaller / shorter goals :). When you get to each mini goal, treat yourself to an awesome hair toy!

[Seeshami]

When it really gets to you and your ready to chop it up or something else. Put it up in a bun and ignore it as much as possible for how ever long it takes.

[spidermom]

Try to enjoy the styles that are possible at this length because you'll grow past it and have to learn new styles. Then enjoy those.

[chen bao jun]

Take photos so that when you get discouraged later (which will happen) you can see how much you've grown.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Instead of trying to think of growing 20 inches or whatever your goal is, and having it make you feel miserable, try telling yourself you CAN grow one more inch from where you are now. That's doable, for sure.

Like eating an elephant. You don't try and swallow the whole thing all in one go. No, just one bite. Followed by another bite....

I celebrate every inch in length I get, it always feels like progress to cross off another inch on my siggy....

[meteor]

Great idea for a thread! :D

I'd try to celebrate every gained inch. I think at that growth stage, every extra inch makes a whole new look, so it's fun to see that growth process! :D
When hair gets longer, I feel like growth can easily go unnoticed... like, hip length and TBL felt the same to me, because the overall look is similar.
I second the exploration of new updos! It's fun and you'll miss them when your hair is too long for them, so better enjoy them now. ;)

I only get discouraged over 3 things:

1) Problem: bored with the blanket-like hair and the feeling of lack of versatility.
Solution: learn new updos, something complex with accent braids and sectioning.

2) Problem: tired of tangles or not happy with current condition.
Solution: do a long deep treatment session (pre-poos and masks), preferably with new ingredients/products, for the experimentation and fun factor.

3) Problem: bored with wearing hair up 100% of the time.
Solution: do some cool half-up to show off the length a bit, something from Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones or something.

[Angela_Rose]

Benign neglect may become your best friend. Get into an easily maintained routine, keep going with it, and put your hair up. Just try not to think about it, and when it comes down after being allowed to grow in peace, revel in the new growth!

Good luck, and happy growing.

[bonbon58]

Great idea for a thread! :D

I'd try to celebrate every gained inch. I think at that growth stage, every extra inch makes a whole new look, so it's fun to see that growth process! :D
When hair gets longer, I feel like growth can easily go unnoticed... like, hip length and TBL felt the same to me, because the overall look is similar.
I second the exploration of new updos! It's fun and you'll miss them when your hair is too long for them, so better enjoy them now. ;)

I only get discouraged over 3 things:

1) Problem: bored with the blanket-like hair and the feeling of lack of versatility.
Solution: learn new updos, something complex with accent braids and sectioning.

2) Problem: tired of tangles or not happy with current condition.
Solution: do a long deep treatment session (pre-poos and masks), preferably with new ingredients/products, for the experimentation and fun factor.

3) Problem: bored with wearing hair up 100% of the time.
Solution: do some cool half-up to show off the length a bit, something from Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones or something.

These are some great tips and ones that have been proven to be effective on me :o highly recommended!!

[spidermom]

The most discouraging thing for me is thinking of how long it will take to grow to my next goal. Therefore, I try never to think about that. If I catch my thoughts going that way, I distract myself.

There really is something to enjoy at every length. For example, I enjoyed when my hair was short enough to hold bouncy curls because it won't now.

[jacqueline101]

Benign neglect may become your best friend. Get into an easily maintained routine, keep going with it, and put your hair up. Just try not to think about it, and when it comes down after being allowed to grow in peace, revel in the new growth!

Good luck, and happy growing.

I agree a simple routine and benign neglect is great. The hair styles you're wearing will become a thing of the past you'll grow into new ones. I do wish you good luck. By the way we've all been at awkward stages in our growth journey. Cutting your hair is a big issue try the no trimming thread. It's a support system for the urges.

[blue_eyes]

Feeling very discouraged today! I have been hating my hair for 1.5 years so far, and still have a ways to go. I think it's that feeling of "this is never going to end" that gets me down. Yes, I've made a lot of progress, but I've also been unhappy with my hair for so long and I can't believe it isn't over yet. My confidence & self esteem has taken a huge toll, and I just want this to be over. I think by December things will be better, but that's still pretty much a year away.

What does make me feel a little better is thinking about how bad I felt when I first started my growing out process, and knowing that I survived through it, and it looked a lot worse then than it does now.

[battles]

I'm discouraged about mine as well. I've even got the cycle figured out! I get bored with my short hair, cut in bangs. Immediately hate bangs and start growing them out. End up with half grown out bangs that won't quite go into an updo and chop it off. Rinse and repeat.

No bangs ever again. :patrol:

I'd be at probably tailbone by now if I'd never made any of my many hair mistakes, but I guess we live and learn (I hope).

[Nadine <3]

When I'm discouraged with my hair I put it up and away! them I do something productive. Today I went to a thrift store and found a huge stuffed puppy that I brought home and spend the day doing "surgery" on him. I removed all his fluff and put it inside a pillow case to I could wash the stuffing in the washing machine. While that was going I soaked the...erm skin? Haha his outer layers in a bucket of hot soapy water. After he was clean I put him in the dryer with his stuffing and veeeery gently dried him. Then I took the fluff and painstakingly pulled about the clumps in had formed so it was nice and fluffy again. Restuffed him, sewed him back up and named him Bruno.

Sometimes I make pretty hair toys. That always helps to encourage hair up so I can show off my new babies.

[YvetteVarie]

I have been lately feeling discouraged. I started growing out my relaxer, cut off the straightened hair and was left with 7'' fully virgin hair in September. I decided to check my length in January, and guess what, still stuck on 7''.

I know what caused the breakage and stagnant growth, but I have no solution as to what to do next. My major regret is that if I was still relaxed, my hair would have been MBL by now. Bummer

[Zebra Fish]

Last june I decided to maintain at waist for a year to get some thickness in hemline (it was fairy tails of a thinned V cut, so barely few strands at waist :p). Half a year later, and I'm afraid that a year won't be enough. But as it will be summer then (and I loooove the sea), maybe it will be good to maintain till autumn, and then let it grow something again. It still a long time from here, and if I think like that it discourages me, I've been at the same length for so long, and you can't see any improvement, my hemline is still thin. It makes me wish to chop off a big piece so it is all nice and thick. But then I remember that would be a major set back in my length and that would make me feel even sadder. Then I look at some pics and let my hair down and see that it did improve, and what I'm doing gives results. And in those rare cases my hair is shortly down, I get people telling me how I have nice and long hair (and the obvious why do I keep it up). That makes me remember that lhc and rl have different measures, and my hair is just fine for the rl people, but after looking all the nice pics here, I have the feeling my hair is poor and not improving nor gaining length.

Looking at the difference from how it looks after the last torture from the hairdresser and where I am now, it helps :) Definitely learn new styles. If you're challenged for them as I am, by the time you learn one or two that will look good and stay for good, you have enough length to try and learn something else. As I often photo (by myself and many tries xD) the back of my head to see if I managed to make them look like they are supposed to, from time to time I notice that I see less and less hair stick poking out - meaning I am gaining thickness :)

[hanne jensen]

I'm also discouraged now. My ultimate goal is ankle length and I'm only BSL. I do try to set shorter goals along the way, my current goal is waist by Xmas this year. To get through this difficult time I put my hair up and forget about it for 2 days. Take it down, massage scalp and de-tangle. Put it up again for another 2 days. When it's down, don't check it out in the mirror, or measure or even think about it. Just get the job done and move on to something else. I'm hoping for a Holy Moly moment in a few months.

[pixldust]

This is a great thread idea. It's easy to get discouraged because we are our own worst critics. I go through times where I think that my hair looks ok, then I'll catch a glimpse in the mirror and get disheartened at how thin my ends look. I know why they look thin but it still gets me down sometimes. I'm a long way from having my hair how I want it. The end of this year should see me at my goal length all being well. But then I have maybe about a years worth of trimming to get rid of the damage. And of course I worry that even after that my hair won't look nice. But I just have to have faith that it will. Zebra Fish's point about real life v lhc was also spot on.

[monsoonstorm]

Benign neglect may become your best friend. Get into an easily maintained routine, keep going with it, and put your hair up. Just try not to think about it, and when it comes down after being allowed to grow in peace, revel in the new growth!

Good luck, and happy growing.

^ This

I keep my hair up. I've lost a lot of hair recently due to meds and it's a lot thinner than it used to be. I find it best to put it up pretty much every day and ignore it. To be honest I have no idea how long mine is now.

[RavennaNight]

I'm discouraged a bit, my hair seems to be stalling or growing very slowly now. The last time I trimmed was an inch or two back in Jan 2014, and I've only been S&D since. My hair keeps staying stubbornly at 37," give or take a half inch or so because of silly measuring tapes and stravy hair. I guess it's made progress, because The bulk was measuring 35-36 in the summer. My hair grows at the roots, I still hennindigo, and get the standard 1/2" at the roots. I think I'm reaching terminal because the longest individual hairs must be reaching their maximum length, the longest shedding to negate the growth at the roots. Meh.

[evameganetron]

I'm so sorry to hear you feel discouraged, I think we have all been there.

In 2009, as a result of a mini nervous breakdown due to a bad relationship, I stupidly decided to cut my hair in a pixie cut, from BSL. And I immediately regretted it. For the two following years after that, I kept telling myself that I did it to "cut off all the years of colouring and damage from using heated rollers etc". My self-esteem was at an all time low, I didn't even bother dressing up anymore. To solve this problem, I had some hair extensions put in. WORST THING I EVER DID. The braids under my hair where the wefts were sewn in applied pressure on my scalp, resulting in mild alopecia. This exacerbated my low self esteem.

I had the hair extensions removed, and by then my hair was about your length, perhaps a tad shorter, about chin length. I decided that I would never, ever cut my hair that short again, nor would I use things that would damage it. That was 4 years ago.

I'm going to agree with what others have said here, little goals make it easier, and also just to leave your hair to let it grow and not think about it too much :) Sometimes obsessing over it can cause unnecessary anxiety (at least for me, I start wondering if I'll ever reach the classic length, what am I doing wrong, why is there SO MUCH HAIR ON THE FLOOR from shedding etc etc). Once you have a solid routine, just stick with it. This forum really helped me learn how to care for my hair, so many things I did not know even after I started this hair journey :)

THANK YOU, LHC!

I say good luck to you, and I do pray that you'll have the hair you've always wanted *hugs*.

[lapushka]

I just don't look at it. It *will* discourage you if you do, esp. when your hair is still short. I mean, that's as good as a given, esp. if you're impatient and trim-happy. Hide the scissors, or give them to someone for safe-keeping so you don't get tempted to cut when discouraged. Cutting it will not get you closer to your goal. That sounds pretty self-explanatory, but it surely isn't if you're in that trim-happy mind-set. Guess how I know? It took me a while to realize the error of my ways (I kept dyeing it to hell and beyond which is why it never grew past BSL and had to be cut back to chin a few times). So yeah. And above all, one step at a time!

[chen bao jun]

I have been lately feeling discouraged. I started growing out my relaxer, cut off the straightened hair and was left with 7'' fully virgin hair in September. I decided to check my length in January, and guess what, still stuck on 7''.

I know what caused the breakage and stagnant growth, but I have no solution as to what to do next. My major regret is that if I was still relaxed, my hair would have been MBL by now. Bummer

This sums up what gets me discouraged. Having hyper curly hair I don't appear to grow for months at a time. sometimes I measure and think I lost inches.measuring in fact really does not work. I now look at old photos of my hair and check what new hairstyles I can do. To figure out growth. I never ever compare myself to straight haired people. I think in terms of years, not months. As in, 2 years ago I was....2 years from now will probably be...

And I remind myself how I love having curly hair and wouldn't change.

But it still can be discouraging. Hang in there

[molljo]

I was also a compulsive trimmer, and it's a really difficult habit to break. Every little emotional setback I took out on my hair, and when hair is causing many of those unpleasant emotions, well, it's just a huge vicious cycle. I put myself on a twice-a-year trim schedule last summer and only take out my shears for S&D once a week. A rigid timetable helps tremendously.

I've been feeling very discouraged lately because I think I'm in some kind of winter stall. I've gotten really good at ignoring my growth but I can't help but notice I'm still so far away from APL. At this length, I can't just throw it up in a bun in 10 seconds. It takes a lot of time braiding and pinning and wrestling layers into submission that I'm more reminded of its shortness by the process of putting it up than just leaving it down, which I think many of the longer-haired posters don't really understand.

[lapushka]

I've been feeling very discouraged lately because I think I'm in some kind of winter stall. I've gotten really good at ignoring my growth but I can't help but notice I'm still so far away from APL. At this length, I can't just throw it up in a bun in 10 seconds. It takes a lot of time braiding and pinning and wrestling layers into submission that I'm more reminded of its shortness by the process of putting it up than just leaving it down, which I think many of the longer-haired posters don't really understand.

Yes, but doesn't that encourage you to let it grow, rather than trim it even shorter (so you'll have even more difficulty)? That's what I don't get. :)

[molljo]

Yes, but doesn't that encourage you to let it grow, rather than trim it even shorter (so you'll have even more difficulty)? That's what I don't get. :)

I'm not sure I understand what you mean?

My point was that the argument for benign neglect (throw it up and forget about it) is emotionally counter intuitive when putting it up at such a short length is difficult. Obviously, I understand that protective styling is better for retaining length, but if I want my hair up and looking decent, it takes a lot of time and effort. Wearing it down is very easy, I just finger comb and go. I wear my up and down about an equal amount of time, but I feel better about my hair and think about it much less when it's down, even though it's not great for my hair, if that makes any sense.

[lapushka]

Oh okay, I just thought you wore it up constantly, molljo!

[Agnes Hannah]

with shorter hair you could try curling it in hair friendly way, or putting on a funky temporary colour to help you through the tricky stages. Hairtoys are good to clip it up and forget about it. It is a waiting game we are all playing, until we reach our goals.
You are not alone in getting discouraged, but before doing anything rash and permanent, come here and talk to us! We are in the same boat.
Keep the faith and good luckx

[chantecler]

I'm starting to feel like my hair is too fragile for being really long, even though I very well know a lot of it is still very damaged from years of daily washing and bad treatments, and a period of hard times in self esteem and mood just made me want to chop it all off to chin lenght... I'm trying to deep condition my way out of this, so I can feel my soft hair and convince myself I want to keep it. I guess the feeling of not giving a damn about my life for a bit had the positive effect of me spacing my washes to one a week, since I couldn't be bothered with washing it and keeping it looking good.

[RainbowBowser]

I'm just discouraged lately because I feel like my hair isn't growing at all. I blink and then my hair damages or tangles itself. I can't seem to manipulate my hair carefully enough and if I'm not careful, I have massive nests to detangle. (my boyfriend tickling me does NOT help ><)
However, I'm not at the lowest point of discouragement since I know if I keep up good habits it will be okay. Seriously reeeally close to ordering silk pillowcases.
Casual S&D while hanging out on the LHC also really helps :)

[hidetheice]

Seriously reeeally close to ordering silk pillowcases.


I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. I found some silk pillowcases in the ethnic section at WalMart... they were about $8? I'd definitely get some. My hair is a bit happier in the morning.

[Agnes Hannah]

Silk pillowcases and silk sleep caps have helped me to grow to waist with really fine hair. They also make me feel special too, as silk is a luxury fabric after all. Perfect for discouraging days. I made my own too so they are even more important as I put time into making them. Go for the silk!

[meteor]

I'm starting to feel like my hair is too fragile for being really long, even though I very well know a lot of it is still very damaged from years of daily washing and bad treatments, and a period of hard times in self esteem and mood just made me want to chop it all off to chin lenght... I'm trying to deep condition my way out of this, so I can feel my soft hair and convince myself I want to keep it. I guess the feeling of not giving a damn about my life for a bit had the positive effect of me spacing my washes to one a week, since I couldn't be bothered with washing it and keeping it looking good.

Yay for deep conditioning, putting it up and forgetting about it and benign neglect! :thumbsup: I promise, your hair will thank you for it! ;)
And "emotional chopping" is certainly a habit to be kicked: it only sets us back! Just put it up or do a deep treatment or learn a new style or make a pretty hairtoy (if you are crafty)... - the list is endless - but avoid the chop, it won't bring you any closer to your goal length. ;)


I'm just discouraged lately because I feel like my hair isn't growing at all. I blink and then my hair damages or tangles itself. I can't seem to manipulate my hair carefully enough and if I'm not careful, I have massive nests to detangle. (my boyfriend tickling me does NOT help ><)
However, I'm not at the lowest point of discouragement since I know if I keep up good habits it will be okay. Seriously reeeally close to ordering silk pillowcases.
Casual S&D while hanging out on the LHC also really helps :)

Silk pillowcases are awesome - not only for hair but also for skin! They let your skin and hair slide over the smooth surface, avoiding wrinkling and tangles, and they are also less absorbent than cotton, so will leave your skin/hair slightly more moisturized in the morning. I think sleeping on silk is one of those hair wisdoms that works for almost everyone, so I highly advise it. You don't have to buy one: you can just wrap a silk scarf around your pillow or make one out of a silk blouse. ;)

Also, have you done any pre-poo oiling? Oils tend to be pretty helpful for damage or tangles. :)

[leilani]

I'm a bit discouraged about how long it is taking to grow out my spring/summer 2014 henna affair.

[CurlyCap]

In addition to just getting into the routine of growing hair, I think it's important to remember that there will never a "magic" length. Every new length is going to force you to learn some new things about taking care of your hair. And on a forum like LHC, there will always be someone with gorgeous longer hair. Don't let it confuse your brain and convince you that you haven't accomplished something amazing.

As for curly hair....it takes a unique kind of patience and zen to know that you will never be measured against most others. As I sneak up on classic, people are still asking me why I call my hair long....because it doesn't look that way! *I* know what it's taken to get my hair to this length and the tremendous work it takes to maintain it at this length while growing, and I've had to learn to be okay with that.

[hannabiss]

Theres a lot of great encouragement in this thread. What a great idea!!! Ive been discouraged by the amazing growth ive seen in others. Like other people who shaved bald and were at apl in 14 months and all one length!!! But ill definetly take the advice of celebrating one more inch at a time. 😊

[lapis_lazuli]

I'd call myself a compulsive S&D...-er. :scissors:
I've only been at it for about a month but it's rare that I don't find any split ends :( I've had my hair highlighted blonde four times in the last six years, the last one being a year and a half ago. 99% of the time, my splits are on the previously dyed strands. I have yet to obliterate them all! :brickwall
Never, ever again! :justy:

[battles]

Going out in public and seeing so many people with lovely long hair is discouraging. Especially knowing that I'm stuck at chin for basically an entire year. I'll just baby it, I suppose.

[lapushka]

In addition to just getting into the routine of growing hair, I think it's important to remember that there will never a "magic" length. Every new length is going to force you to learn some new things about taking care of your hair. And on a forum like LHC, there will always be someone with gorgeous longer hair. Don't let it confuse your brain and convince you that you haven't accomplished something amazing.

QFT, quoted for truth! :)

[chen bao jun]

Molljo, I do remember. When I was your length I wore a constant crown braid because it was too short to bun. but I do have curly hair which helped it stay up--I know that some can't crown braid for a while because their hair is slippery. Hang in there!

Curlycap, yes, no one knows what its like to be a curly trying to grow except others curlies trying to grow! Especially hyper curlies. I for one am seriously encouraged just to KNOW you got to classic no matter if it does look shorter and think you have wonderful hair. I followed my own advice today and looked at old photos from when I jsut come on LHC and from just before, to try to encourage myself and it worked. (wish I had more of those pictures but I had a computer meltdown at one point in which I lost most of them).

If I go by measuring my hair, I am measuring 23 to 24 inches MOST of the time, from the best I cantell (sometimes its shorter than that, like when I'm just washed, I'm pretty much hardly longer than my ears!). When I came on LHC, I measured my hair at 17 inches, so from going by measurements, it seems like I only grew 6 to 7 inches in MORE than 2 1/2 years. At best (as I said, when I just wash my hair, I don't think its as much as 17 inches). However, when I ignore the inches and look at the hair, there is just so much more than there was in May 2012, when I joined. I organized the few hair photos I had so I could look at my hair in a bun over that time and in a braid over that time, as well as loose as over that time. There was not only progress but a lot of progress. I think the buns show it the most. I couldn't even do a bun when I first started! Then I could only a do a cinnablob. then a disk bun. Now I can do a nautilus and even a rose bun.

I looked at buns from when I first could do them and from now, using the same hairtoy and then I felt a LOT more as if my hair has grown. Two people kindly complimented me on my bun in another thread, too--and that helped--I don't think people know sometimes how the little compliments they give can encourage a person who feels dispirited and as if they haven't made progress. But the fact is, I've been realizing more and more, I simply CANNOT compare myself to straight haired people, or even wavy haired people in regards to length. Well, I can, if I want to be miserable. My hair was just not created to show off length. Its like if you have a a slinky or a spring and keep trying to compare it to a ruler or a ribbon. It just is never going to look the same and its really not ever going to look as long, if its a tight enough slinky. When you add more slinky to the slinky, it doesn't magically turn into into a yardstick and or start looking like one. It still looks like a slinky. Because it IS a slinky. And until the end of time, if you show up with your slinky among a group of people with yardsticks and say, look my slinky is 'really' as long as your yardsticks--well, you get my point.

So I have to find another find to be happy with my hair's progress that doesnt' involve measuring for length increases. I said to be happy with my hair's progress, because I am actually very happy with my hair itself and wouldn't change a thing about it. It's just that measuring doesn't really work for me, and I am just beginning to accept that. It's interesting being on a 'long hair forum' when I can't measure!! But I also do love being here. And I was happy today looking at the buns of seasons past. I may be on here complaining again tomorrow though....

[meteor]

I'd call myself a compulsive S&D...-er. :scissors:
I've only been at it for about a month but it's rare that I don't find any split ends :( I've had my hair highlighted blonde four times in the last six years, the last one being a year and a half ago. 99% of the time, my splits are on the previously dyed strands. I have yet to obliterate them all! :brickwall
Never, ever again! :justy:

I'm growing out the same situation. What really helped me defeat the split ends demon was throwing away low-quality brushes, using only wide-tooth seamless comb, putting hair up every day, sleeping on silk, pre-poo oiling, oils as leave-in on ends almost every night, and protein treatments.
Check out Aphogee 2-step (http://aphogee.com/two-step-protein-treatment-for-professional-use/), Joico K-Pak Reconstructor (http://www.joico.com/products/k-pak-reconstructor/), or DIY gelatin treatment (http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.ca/2014/04/gelatin-protein-treatment-recipe-update.html) for protein. Bleached damaged hair really loves hydrolyzed protein from time to time!
Best of luck to you! :flower:

[meteor]

CurlyCap, chen, please know that there are many of us who absolutely admire your hair and we do know that it's A LOT (like, A LOT A LOT!) longer than what it appears to be!
Whenever a hypercurly has long hair or even medium-length hair, it's a definite show-stopper! Very rare and beautiful sight! Even though it's really hard work and 100x more patience, it's totally worth it: so gorgeous and rare! :thud:
Happy growing, guys! :cheer:

[lapushka]

CurlyCap, chen, please know that there are many of us who absolutely admire your hair and we do know that it's A LOT (like, A LOT A LOT!) longer than what it appears to be!
Whenever a hypercurly has long hair or even medium-length hair, it's a definite show-stopper! Very rare and beautiful sight! Even though it's really hard work and 100x more patience, it's totally worth it: so gorgeous and rare! :thud:
Happy growing, guys! :cheer:

:agree: Yes, long curls are a real show-stopper, and we all know how much care goes into a head of curls.

[chen bao jun]

You guys are great.

[RainbowBowser]

I know how you feel. I'm in the same boat. I found some silk pillowcases in the ethnic section at WalMart... they were about $8? I'd definitely get some. My hair is a bit happier in the morning.

My walmart options aren't very good out here, but I definitely ordered some! I can't wait :)

[arr]

Im a little discouraged about my hair for a different reason than most. Actually I would say I'm more disillusioned than discouraged. I'm close to my goal of full hip length and it is in good condition, but Im questioning whether I like it on me. I like my hair when I just look at it itself, but I thought I would be more thrilled with how it looks on me. I think it's very telling that I prefer how I look with my hair up. Anytime I try to wear it completely down I feel like i don't look good. In fact I at least have to do a half up if I'm going to wear it down. I love the idea of long hair and all the associations (fairy tales, mermaids, feminine, luxurious) but i feel like it's not translating into reality for me.

On the other hand, I can't imagine myself going shorter, at least not at this time. I don't feel that would look right either. Maybe I'm just a little bored with my hair or suffering winter depression. For now I will just wear it up and see how I feel in the spring.

[HintOfMint]

Im a little discouraged about my hair for a different reason than most. Actually I would say I'm more disillusioned than discouraged. I'm close to my goal of full hip length and it is in good condition, but Im questioning whether I like it on me. I like my hair when I just look at it itself, but I thought I would be more thrilled with how it looks on me. I think it's very telling that I prefer how I look with my hair up. Anytime I try to wear it completely down I feel like i don't look good. In fact I at least have to do a half up if I'm going to wear it down. I love the idea of long hair and all the associations (fairy tales, mermaids, feminine, luxurious) but i feel like it's not translating into reality for me.

On the other hand, I can't imagine myself going shorter, at least not at this time. I don't feel that would look right either. Maybe I'm just a little bored with my hair or suffering winter depression. For now I will just wear it up and see how I feel in the spring.

My original goal was hip length and once I reached it, I found it was awkward on me. I couldn't put my finger on why. Then I let it grow longer and cut more layers into it. All of a sudden, I loved my hair! I think hip can be an unsung awkward length.

[MsVenus]

Hint of Mint, what do you think was awkward about hip length? Couldn't you just put it up or wear it down hanging like at any other length? Do you think your cut was just out of anxiety and ultimately unnecessary?

[HintOfMint]

Hint of Mint, what do you think was awkward about hip length? Couldn't you just put it up or wear it down hanging like at any other length? Do you think your cut was just out of anxiety and ultimately unnecessary?

The way it hit at hip made me look wider both from the back and the front. It hit right at the point where my hips flared out, and it just wasn't flattering. When it got longer, around BCL, and with some layers, it didn't have that effect anymore.

[cdonald2]

I'm discouraged because my hair is almost through its awkward length stage. I know i wont be as tempted to trim when its at apl. Short hair is so high maintenance :( I feel like I will never get to waist :( I' d like to go even further.... but i have no idea how long that will even take. :(

no idea how often i should be getting trims at this length to keep it from looking ratty while it grows. i hate misshapen short hair. At least when its longer, it hides the unevenness... :/

[cdonald2]

I dont think anyones hair is "too fragile" to be long. I would just keep it moisturized and balanced with protein. Maybe you will have to keep it up more often than other members with thicker, coarser hair (im a finey too) but i have yet to see hair that is too fragile to be long, (unless it was a product of chemical/heat frying)

[Arctic]

I'm discouraged because my hair is almost through its awkward length stage. I know i wont be as tempted to trim when its at apl. Short hair is so high maintenance :( I feel like I will never get to waist :( I' d like to go even further.... but i have no idea how long that will even take. :(

no idea how often i should be getting trims at this length to keep it from looking ratty while it grows. i hate misshapen short hair. At least when its longer, it hides the unevenness... :/

Hey you should be ENcouraged if you are almost through an awkward phase!

I trimmed my hair quite a bit at bob length, and will continue to trim regularly. I found that keeping a neat hemline helped/helps me to grow, gives me something to concentrate at. I just made sure I didn't trim all my growth. I don't have quickly growing hair and the growing out took it's sweet time, but I was happy about how I and my hair looked during the process (minus the phase where I grew my pixie over ears, lol!). Now that I'm past shoulders I can trim a little bit less often, but I foresee me doing it every few months anyway - I love fresh ends on me. I know my approach doesn't work for everybody though. You'll have to find your own balance between having the hair your can live with now, and growing and preparing for the long hair you will have in the future.

[endlessly]

A few days ago, I colored my hair back to my original shade, then chopped off 8 inches so it's back to tailbone. I know it isn't short to anyone else, but to me it just looks so much shorter and unfortunately, I know what you mean with self esteem being connected to your hair length. I went from feeling really, really good about myself to just feeling crappy.

[lapushka]

A few days ago, I colored my hair back to my original shade, then chopped off 8 inches so it's back to tailbone. I know it isn't short to anyone else, but to me it just looks so much shorter and unfortunately, I know what you mean with self esteem being connected to your hair length. I went from feeling really, really good about myself to just feeling crappy.

Could we see a picture of your current length & color. Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is. :flower:

[blue_eyes]

I know what you mean with self esteem being connected to your hair length. I went from feeling really, really good about myself to just feeling crappy.

Yup, I went through the same thing. I had WL dyed black hair and felt like I was on top of the world. Now I've got 3 toned hair that's super damaged on the ends, barely BSL, and looks like a horrible mess. All I want to do it crawl into a cave and hide for another 2 years while the rest of the dye grows out.

[Obsidian]

I'm actually hating my hair right now. I get in a cycle of chop it off short (like 1") then grow it out until the frizzy curly ends drive me crazy then I chop it again. Its at the drive me crazy and I want to chop it stage. I know if I cut it I will hate it, I always do but I HATE my curls more. More specifically I hate the curls under my ears, they are tight and have a huge amount of shrinkage. The rest of my hair is more of a wurly wavy texture.
My hair is pretty from the back but all I see are those awful frizzy, tight curls along my neck. I have a obsessive need to constantly pull them straight, my hands are in my hair all the time. When I was younger, I actually shaved the bottom 2 inches of my head so I wouldn't have to deal with the curls. I'm really hoping that as my hair grows, the weight will pull some of the curl out.

[moontree]

Feeling discouraged tonight because I've been growing my hair intentionally for over a year now and it's still so short. Even in the past couple of months it's like it barely grew at all. I hate the way my roots look against the henna, and I wish I never followed the impulse to henna it - since it did nothing to help my dandruff and caused a huge shed. I have a lot of baby hairs now and much less thickness. I feel like it will take forever to get to my goal.

[MagicalMystery]

With spiral curls, I often get discouraged at the length of time it takes to notice growth length-wise. It seems to take forever before the growth at my scalp actually shows everywhere else.

[ErgleGru]

Yup, I went through the same thing. I had WL dyed black hair and felt like I was on top of the world. Now I've got 3 toned hair that's super damaged on the ends, barely BSL, and looks like a horrible mess. All I want to do it crawl into a cave and hide for another 2 years while the rest of the dye grows out.

I have a three colored neopolitan hair mess, too. We can hide in a cave and cry together while growing. You're not alone!

[blue_eyes]

I have a three colored neopolitan hair mess, too. We can hide in a cave and cry together while growing. You're not alone!

I wish we could!! :beerchug: Misery loves company, right? haha.

I see all these pretty girls with such gorgeous hair (damn you Pinterest!) and I always ask myself "how on earth did I get into this mess?". I know that if I hadn't screwed around with my hair color so much I could have long hair with even color right now. I'm kicking myself so badly for it!
Anyway, I'm trying to suck it up & telling myself that there are no shortcuts and in the long run I'll be so glad I grew out my dyed hair. Right now though, it just sucks.