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View Full Version : Are my habits making me lose hair, ooooorrrr...?



Parisian Dozen
February 15th, 2015, 10:16 AM
I'm trying to nail down if what I'm doing is bad for my hair or not. I'm getting concerned with the amount of hair I see on my brush and the hair that I find in between my fingers when I run my fingers through it.

Let me preface this with some knowledge here: a majority of my hair has been chemically relaxed (yes, I'm crying too), and I don't use those scary plastic nubby brushes. BBB for life.

Anyways, I've been finding a lot of short hair on my brush, no matter how gentle I put it through, as well as longer length hair I never even felt/heard/saw snap off. I can't tell if it's shedding or lack of care... I generally find 5-7 of those... But the real killer is when I wide tooth comb my hair. Everything's fine and dandy until I get to the back of my head - more specifically the crown of my head/back of my head. That **** is always tangled. No matter how gentle I am, no matter how much conditioner I use to help detangle, I always get snagging. When I get done combing and gently run my fingers though there's 10-15 hairs ;_; This happens wet or dry, but is generally easier when wet.

Should I stop wide tooth combing while wet? Or at the very least, ignore the crown while it's wet/dry?

I've also tried switching up my routine to CWC (yay for my initials). Would it even be a bad idea to condition my hair every night if it's chemically relaxed? I don't feel like it could possibly make things worse.

I also told my best friend to never talk to me again... so, uhhh, I'll be here for awhile with my stuffed cow... if you need me... ;_;

lapushka
February 15th, 2015, 01:50 PM
The fact that your hair has been relaxed might be causing breakage. Check your hair to see if there are any white dots on the strand. BBBs might actually be worse for wavy/curly hair as they pull more tightly on the strand than those nubbly brushes do.

10 to 15 hairs is *nothing*!

Majorane
February 15th, 2015, 02:07 PM
I am no expert on the matter, but since your relaxed hair is already weakened is it a good idea to BBB it? I know that generally it's considered as a hair friendly tool, but if your hair is fragile the extra friction might help it snap? Also, wet combing is not great, your hair is weaker when wet.

As for the tangles, have you tried something with cones to make it all nice and smoother? And just so you know, 100-150 shed hairs a day is normal. So, 15 is really not to worry about :)

And go make up with your friend! Unless he or she was really mean. I hope things will be fine :)

jeanniet
February 15th, 2015, 02:37 PM
Relaxed hair is fragile, so I would avoid the BBB. Your hair probably doesn't have enough elasticity for it. Comb in the shower when your hair is full of conditioner. You'll have less resistance and less chance of snapping hairs.

Colochita
February 15th, 2015, 02:42 PM
With relaxed hair, you shouldn't be using a BBB unless you absolutely have to. It's a lot weaker than virgin hair.

Relaxed hair also requires some extra care that virgin hair doesn't. I'm no longer relaxed, but I follow a lot of relaxed (and previously relaxed) women's blogs. The chief issues they mention are: porosity (the chemical treatment usually makes your hair high porosity so it's hard to hang onto moisture), protein (they need a little extra), and overlapping relaxers (if you get previously relaxed length re-relaxed, it will break off).

I'm sure you know about these things, so I don't want to rant on as if you don't. But, if you'd like, I could share blogs/vlogs of women who are taking care of relaxed hair and who manage to grow it at least to WL.

And I hope you patch things up with your friend. Best friend fights are hard, but I'm sure you can make up. :grouphug:

kidari
February 15th, 2015, 03:08 PM
I've had chemical damage before and I always had that breakage issue until all of the damaged hair was cut off. You just have to super baby it even more so than someone with virgin hair, but every single time you have to handle it to wash or brush out that breakage is just always going to happen until your hair is all healthy again. This is going to take months to years depending on the length of hair you have damage on. This used to be personal experience from the distant past but unfortunately I had to live through that again pretty much all of last year and I'm still dealing with the repercussions of lightening and heat styling and wearing it down.

Parisian Dozen
February 15th, 2015, 03:12 PM
Oh crap, someone actual replied. Let's get this all in one go.


The fact that your hair has been relaxed might be causing breakage. Check your hair to see if there are any white dots on the strand. BBBs might actually be worse for wavy/curly hair as they pull more tightly on the strand than those nubbly brushes do.

10 to 15 hairs is *nothing*!

Unfortunately, yes, I do get those irritating little white dots. ;_; My inner will etches away every time I see them.



I am no expert on the matter, but since your relaxed hair is already weakened is it a good idea to BBB it? I know that generally it's considered as a hair friendly tool, but if your hair is fragile the extra friction might help it snap? Also, wet combing is not great, your hair is weaker when wet.

As for the tangles, have you tried something with cones to make it all nice and smoother? And just so you know, 100-150 shed hairs a day is normal. So, 15 is really not to worry about :)


I have not tried anything with cones in it. I've been using Devacurl because it has a ton of protein.



And go make up with your friend! Unless he or she was really mean. I hope things will be fine :)

I had a bit more than platonic feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate them. ;_; Now I don't have a hair buddy anymore... very, very, very sad day...


I'm sure you know about these things, so I don't want to rant on as if you don't. But, if you'd like, I could share blogs/vlogs of women who are taking care of relaxed hair and who manage to grow it at least to WL.
Please do! I have nothing but time this week. I mean, I'm not sure how much of it will apply to me (my hair was never that curly).



And I hope you patch things up with your friend. Best friend fights are hard, but I'm sure you can make up. :grouphug:
This one is probably gone for good...

lapushka
February 15th, 2015, 03:14 PM
Unfortunately, yes, I do get those irritating little white dots. ;_; My inner will etches away every time I see them.

In that case you might benefit from S&D sessions. It's where you sit down, scissors in hand, and cut individual strands above the damage. That means cutting strand per strand above every white dot. If your hair is half riddled with them, I'd go for trims instead, as it might thin out your hair too too much!

Colochita
February 15th, 2015, 03:39 PM
Please do! I have nothing but time this week. I mean, I'm not sure how much of it will apply to me (my hair was never that curly).
Here are some blogs:

Just Grow Already (http://www.justgrowalready.com/p/site-index.html) is my favorite. She grew to around waist length with fully relaxed hair, but is now transitioning to natural. You'll probably have to dig a little back to see her regimen while she was fully relaxed. She's also a licensed hair dresser.

Hairlicious Inc. (http://www.hairliciousinc.com/2008/03/har.html) is nice too. I read her posts occasionally. I think she's maintaining at MBL.

And here is a list of other blogs/vlogs (http://longing4length.com/favorite-relaxed-hair-blogs.html) that I don't have experience with. Maybe one or two will help.

And here are a couple of Youtube Channels:

Journey to Waist Length (https://www.youtube.com/user/youngebz07) is decent, and I think she may also be transitioning.

And VivHairTherapy Ja (https://www.youtube.com/user/VivHairTherapyJa) is also relaxed with a strong regimen. She also has a strong Caribbean accent, so she may be a little more difficult to understand.


This one is probably gone for good...
I'm sorry about your friend. :( I went through the same thing with my current best friend, but in reverse. She had non-platonic feelings for me that I didn't reciprocate.

It was awkward for a patch because I had a significant other, but we made it through. Maybe you can too.

lapushka
February 15th, 2015, 03:42 PM
Journey to Waist Length (https://www.youtube.com/user/youngebz07) is decent, and I think she may also be transitioning.

I'm subbed to her. She is transitioning for a second time now, and semi big-chopped a while ago. She still has some of the relaxer in her hair, though! You can just see how thin her hair is vs. her natural hair.

Parisian Dozen
February 15th, 2015, 03:45 PM
In that case you might benefit from S&D sessions. It's where you sit down, scissors in hand, and cut individual strands above the damage. That means cutting strand per strand above every white dot. If your hair is half riddled with them, I'd go for trims instead, as it might thin out your hair too too much!
I wouldn't say I'm riddled with them, but I come across them occasionally. I don't think they'd thin out out to much, but I am due for a trim.

Majorane
February 15th, 2015, 04:09 PM
Oh crap, someone actual replied. Dude! What did you expect:cool:

Unfortunately, yes, I do get those irritating little white dots. ;_; My inner will etches away every time I see them.
I hate them too, and I have so many... :sad


I had a bit more than platonic feelings for her. She didn't reciprocate them. ;_; Now I don't have a hair buddy anymore... very, very, very sad day...

Oh. One of those situations. Okay, you were right, that truly stinks. Well, if it's any consolation to you, she probably feels like shiz about it too, and unless you were a big jerk about it, things like these tend to settle down in a while, usually. As in, at first it will be awkward and everybody pretends it never happened, or she'll be crabby to put you at a distance, then that pretending gets more natural, and then eventually it will fade into the background completely. And your feelings might even change too. I had my (then) best friend fall in love with me a few times (yup) and also I fell in love with him a few times but either I wasn't interested or one of us was in a relationship :brickwall and then it was back off. Eventually things kind of faded away and we fell out of touch but we've been best friends for years after he first confessed and blah all.

End of derail. I do hope you have chocolate nearby, bud. Imaginairy pat on the shoulder for you, because a flower smilie might be a bit to demasculinizing at the moment? Anyway, :rockerdud rock on.