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Teazel
January 19th, 2015, 10:14 PM
Yesterday I returned home from 4 days at the other end of the country, attending my niece's wedding. And I'm still seething over comments about my hair made by one of my sisters.

We were having breakfast in a group - the bride and groom with my immediate family - and it was a hot, sunny morning so I was wearing a hat. And since I was wearing a hat my hair was in a plait down my back; you know how it is. And out of the blue my sister said, "Your hair is ridiculously long, Teazel." For a confused moment I wondered if that was meant in a positive or negative way - some people might call a sunset ridiculously beautiful, for example - but she followed up with, "I just want to cut it off." :scissors:

Oh. Not meant in a positive way, then. Being somewhat gobsmacked, I just muttered something about staying away from her in that case, and let it go. Didn't want to start a fight! When I was alone with my mother I brought it up and said I thought my sister was incredibly rude, to which my mother said, Oh, she's just outspoken. No, that's not being outspoken, that's being rude.

Then I thought about the other times I had worn a plait that weekend, and wondered how many other people had been secretly laughing at the length of my hair. I wanted to cut it immediately. Then I thought about my sister's satisfaction if I did, and knew I could never have anything less than super-long hair ever again. Either prospect annoys me intensely.

I've thought of so many things I should have said. What happened to my standard reply to comments about the length of my hair: "Thank you!" Not that it would have stopped the second part of her remark. "I don't remember asking for your opinion" would have been a good one.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent to you, LHC. I'm feeling blue. :sad

mz_butterfly
January 19th, 2015, 10:17 PM
Teazel, I am sure that NOBODY was laughing at you. I think your sister was just being a snot and really, don't let her negativity enter into your thoughts.

She's probably feeling follicly challenged and decided to snark at you.

Madora
January 19th, 2015, 10:22 PM
:blossom:Teazel, don't you even THINK of cutting your magnificent hair! To hell with what others think..even if they are family! You have every right to enjoy your hair as you wish!

gthlvrmx
January 19th, 2015, 10:27 PM
*hugs* Many people don't know what to say when it comes to hair and the only thing they can think of are negative things people say about hair, especially if it's a hair style that is not "normal". But it's still not a nice thing to say what your sister said. There's no need to cut your hair it's beautiful! A lot of people here admire your hair and I'm sure there are many people out there that are not on this website that appreciate your long hair!

chelsea89ms
January 19th, 2015, 10:38 PM
Teazel, I am sure that NOBODY was laughing at you. I think your sister was just being a snot and really, don't let her negativity enter into your thoughts

I second this, if anything your hair was probably admired :crush: your hair is an inspiration and is incredibly beautiful!

Sarahlabyrinth
January 19th, 2015, 10:39 PM
Gosh, I really hope you don't cut your wonderful hair, Teazel. It is incredibly hurtful when people make remarks like this, but that's part of being a longhair I guess. Sadly, I have two sisters who say things like this to me. I try to always have my hair up when they are around.

Hugs, Teazel and I hope we can make you feel better. Obviously your sister either doesn't appreciate the beauty of long hair, or she just plain doesn't like it. Or she is envious. Whatever her reasoning is, she had no right to be rude... No right at all.

We all love your hair here, that's for sure!

hairpleasegrow
January 19th, 2015, 10:40 PM
Sounds like your sister is jealous. Who wouldn't be? Your hair is gorgeous.

Teazel
January 19th, 2015, 10:46 PM
Actually, you might have something there, mz_butterfly. Certainly she is, as you say, a snot. :lol: But her hair is finer and more fragile than mine and our other sister's; beautiful it its own way (or it would be if she hadn't been relentlessly dyeing, cutting and styling it for the last 30-odd years), but it's possible she's frustrated with it. The alternative is that she was genuinely trying to help me, and... nah. That wasn't her motivation.

Thanks for your responses, Madora and gthlvrmx! *hugs back*

Teazel
January 19th, 2015, 10:52 PM
Whatever her reasoning is, she had no right to be rude... No right at all.

That's what it comes down to. She's challenged in the etiquette department, for sure. I'm beginning to think that this is her problem, not mine.

And I will definitely be wearing my hair up around her in future. Note to self: look into updos to wear with hats!

Flowerness
January 19th, 2015, 11:03 PM
I'm so sorry you had to go through that! Sometimes when people are close to us, they feel they have the right to say or do anything they want... like they get a pass on common kindness or something.

No matter what happens, it is YOUR hair. Do you like it? Does it feel like "you"? If you enjoy your hair as it is, then leave it alone. You have the right to make choices for yourself, and that includes manner of dress, makeup, and hair.

If this takes you a while to get rid of, maybe you could make a list: all of your favorite hair styles, and things to do with your hair. Make a master list of favorite hair things of all time. For example, deep condition, oil, bbb, favorite elaborate or comfortable hair styles, or even taking new hair photos. Then you could go ahead and check them off of your list over then next say 2 weeks.

You have beautiful hair, full of body, bounce, and shine. It is healthy and gorgeous and an admirable length. (Why else would they make all of the princess and mermaid and other beautiful women of stories have hair like that?)

Do whatever feels right to you, but don't do it because of meanness and spitefulness of others. Your hair is beautiful and it shines! Enjoy it!

(BTW: if I did have your hair length, and was making a master list of hair "to do's" I would totally have to try some movie hair. Princess Buttercup, Frozen, you name it! Just because we age doesn't mean we can't enjoy some good Princess movie hair!)

Lots of love to you! And enjoy your hair!

Teazel
January 19th, 2015, 11:27 PM
Those are awesome ideas, Flowerness. Thank you!

And thank you, too, chelsea89ms and hairpleasegrow! :flowers:

LauraLongLocks
January 19th, 2015, 11:27 PM
What a snotty thing for her to say! So sorry she was rude to you. I want my hair to be "ridiculously long" like yours someday. :blossom:

I prefer to wear a hat with my hair neatly and safely tucked inside it, whether in some sort of bun or in braids. I opt for a larger hat to fit all the hair inside of it.

Anje
January 19th, 2015, 11:32 PM
Teazel, you are one of my hair idols, and fairly similar to me in texture and thickness (at least based on the pics I've seen). I sincerely hope my hair one day looks like yours, ridiculous or no.

kahill
January 19th, 2015, 11:45 PM
I agree that she was just being rude and that she might have been speaking out of jealousy more than anything else. Also, perhaps the stress of the wedding was getting to her and she just needed to release a little pent-up steam and she did it in your direction. It's not excusable, but perhaps (subconsciously) she felt you were a safer choice than her groom? At any rate, your hair is GORGEOUS and if it makes you happy, then that's what matters. :)

My hair is nearly knee length (about 2-3 inches away), and I'm experiencing a similar problem with hats, although for different reasons. I live in North America, so it's winter here and I have NO hats that can contain my hair while bunned. I don't like wearing it in a braid while in the car when I'm out because it'll shred/frizz too much. I guess I'll just have to knit myself a hat with an adjustable headband. And probably line it with some satin or something to keep it from frizzing me up to badly...

neko_kawaii
January 19th, 2015, 11:55 PM
Next time agree with her that it is ridiculous, but while you are saying "ridiculous" picture her in Snape's robes and Mrs. Longbottom's hat.

*wink*

Nah, whatever her motivation, it isn't worth thinking on. Your enjoyment of your hair need not be affected by another's opinion.

Seeshami
January 20th, 2015, 12:35 AM
When people talk about mess and the person using scissors or cutting in the same sentence or paragraph my default response is:
"That's assault and I WILL press charges"

If I am already perturbed I will skip warnings and go straight to threats of violence with said scissors if they come near me. I don't really think about it any more it just happens. I don't understand why cutting my hair sounds like a crime but it does to me at least.

Adiro
January 20th, 2015, 12:50 AM
Baa. Your hair is gorgeous! I am sorry you feel so hurt.
I heared the exact same words from my twin sister.... Her hair is mid back long, and mine Is about tailbone... Not ven that long but she thinks it's ridiculous.... And I shoukd cut it...

I start to think that sister bcome bothered by the thought that the longhair makes one simply incomparable with all the rest...

Fru fru
January 20th, 2015, 01:42 AM
Your hair is beautiful!
Having 3 sisters myself I have decided to take any negative remarks as compliments, it works wonders for the self esteem;)

spirals
January 20th, 2015, 01:42 AM
a) When I think of superlong, gorgeous hair, a picture of yours instantly comes to mind. It is one of the most gorgeous heads of hair I have ever seen in my whole life!

b) Your sister has bad taste in hair, apparently.

c) Despite b, comments like that are hurtful. I don't know if she lacks tact or wanted to hurt you for some reason, but either way, try to get to the point where you feel sorry for her. Either she lashes out at people who threaten her self-image, which is sad, or she says things that hurt people without thinking (something I have done many times), and that does make the person who said it feel bad, and embarrassed that s/he said it. I should know.

Angels+Eyeliner
January 20th, 2015, 01:53 AM
Your sister is a lot like mine (so, I guess I have this to come) except my sister currently has longer hair than me. (I'll catch up fast if she doesn't stop bleaching her ends though). She has seen something she doesn't have and, whether she actually wants it or not, she doesn't like the idea that someone has something she doesn't. That's an incredibly childish behaviour. Her way of dealing with the 'I don't have that' isn't to think 'well, I'll ask for some conditioning and updo tips so I can get it' it's just to think 'if she doesn't have it, neither of us have it' and so she tells you it's ridiculous and that she wants to cut it off. She's done it so bluntly because she believes as your sister she has a special right to make demands of you, and your mother didn't say anything about it because she assumes this is true. That's a dynamic that some families have cultivated: siblings frequently reprimand each other and whether or nor the insults are acted upon (that is to say, whether or not you go get a blunt bob like she wants) it is accepted by all parties that it's something they do. This clearly isn't the case in your situation. You don't feel like what she said was normal sisterly banter, and you clearly don't feel like you could say something similar to her about her sartorial choices. Thus, whilst this doesn't seem like a big deal to people outside the sibling relationship (except longhairs, who feel your pain), it hurt you because she attacked something you hold so dear.

By the way, you should totally rock Elsa's coronation bun if you're making a to-do list.

Zebra Fish
January 20th, 2015, 01:57 AM
Oh please, don't cut your hair over that! It would be such a shame. I don't know your sister, so I can't say anything about the why she did it, but, trust me, people from the wedding will remember YOU and probably not her, for some time after, for the good or the bad, but it will be "Do you remember the lady with the really long hair? Well, her sister was also there....bla bla..." :)

hanne jensen
January 20th, 2015, 02:22 AM
Teazel, you have been an inspiration to me since I first joined LHC. I have always admired your beautiful long hair and want to grow mine as long.

I hope that you're not offended or creeped out, but I showed your pic that's right under your name to Hubby and he burst out (in Danish) "Yes, Yes, that's what I want you to have! I don't care what it costs or what it takes, this is the hair I want you to have! Just longer!"

Teazel, you can't please all the people all the time, so just try to please yourself.

Teazel
January 20th, 2015, 04:03 AM
You know, LHC people really are the best. Thank you all for your support and ideas. :grouphug: Here's to ridiculous hair! :toast:

hanne, of course I'm not creeped out. :)

Hello, Angels+Eyeliner, I haven't been very active here for a while so I don't think we've met before. Thank you for your thoughtful post. You're right about the family dynamics thing, and it seems to more or less work for my sisters - the two of them are close in age (I'm several years younger) and see each other quite often. So when the ill-mannered sister irritates the other she just tells her to eff off, or they have an argument that makes everyone uncomfortable. I didn't fall into that way of relating, firstly because I no longer have that level of familiarity with my sisters and secondly because once I lose my temper I'm liable to rip someone's head off. And nobody wants to see that at breakfast. ;)

Since our children were young V and I haven't had much contact with each other... I got tired of always being the one to pick up the phone, so I stopped. I kept on sending birthday gifts for a while, but even that spluttered out when she didn't even bother to say thanks. I assumed the lack of contact grieved her as much as it did me, and assumed she wanted our relationship to improve, so that's why the attack on my hair shocked and hurt me as much as it did. But, thinking about it, maybe it's a good sign that V thought it was okay to attack me like that. It might mean she was thinking of me as part of the family, in her strange way. :shrug:

emilia1992
January 20th, 2015, 04:17 AM
[QUOTE=Teazel;2922319] "Your hair is ridiculously long, Teazel." [\QUOTE]

Translation: 'I wish my hair was so long. I don't think I can ever achieve that length, so I'll call it ridiculous because it's not possible for me.'

[QUOTE] For a confused moment I wondered if that was meant in a positive or negative way - some people might call a sunset ridiculously beautiful, for example - but she followed up with, "I just want to cut it off." :scissors: [\QUOTE]

Translation: 'It's not fair you have such nice hair when mine isn't as good. If I cut yours off, then we'll be more equal.'

[QUOTE] Oh. Not meant in a positive way, then. Being somewhat gobsmacked, I just muttered something about staying away from her in that case, and let it go. Didn't want to start a fight! When I was alone with my mother I brought it up and said I thought my sister was incredibly rude, to which my mother said, Oh, she's just outspoken. No, that's not being outspoken, that's being rude. [\QUOTE]

Translation: 'Ignore your sister - but I can't tell you to ignore your sibling outright, so I'll just call her outspoken to put it gently'.

I'm not saying that this is exactly what your relations were thinking, but I find it helpful to always bear similar 'translations' in mind whenever faced with unhelpful comments.

Your hair is beautiful :)

Silver Sister
January 20th, 2015, 04:55 AM
Teazel, I am sure that NOBODY was laughing at you. I think your sister was just being a snot and really, don't let her negativity enter into your thoughts.

She's probably feeling follicly challenged and decided to snark at you.

Agree...and if there was a bar at the wedding, all "filters" were off and she was out of control.

Your hair is absolutely beautiful. Conforming to her desire of beauty, or whatever it is, would be pointless. You wouldn't be happy if you conformed to her blather. I LOVE your hair!!!

Stray_mind
January 20th, 2015, 05:02 AM
Your hair IS ridiculously long! But it is a GOOD thing. Don't ever cut it off just because someone doesn't like how it looks. Remember, you can't please everyone in life and there will allways be people who like to say whatever they want without ever considering about other people's feelings. Sometimes it is a good thing, but sometimes they need to shut up. I like your hair. I wish i had hair as healthy and beautiful as you. :blossom:

lapushka
January 20th, 2015, 05:29 AM
Sisters, gotta love 'em! :rolleyes: The thing about comments like these is, you just don't expect to hear them, which makes you... unable to reply like you would have liked. Just ignore her! :grouphug:

Stiria
January 20th, 2015, 06:14 AM
Your hair is beautiful! I hope to have "ridiculously" long hair one day too :D

Sometimes people say things and don't realise how offensive they are. Most people don't care about hair as we do, so perhaps she didn't realise how much a comment like that would hurt you?

morrigan*
January 20th, 2015, 07:04 AM
Your hair is beautiful!
Having 3 sisters myself I have decided to take any negative remarks as compliments, it works wonders for the self esteem;)

That's great advice.

Am i the only one whose sisters doesn't insult each other looks ? Yes we fight but usually about things that one take from another.

Wosie
January 20th, 2015, 07:36 AM
Dear Teazel! It hurts the most when people close to us (family members or friends) give us such remarks, so I fully understand why you got tongue-tied. I wish I could give you a hug. :grouphug:

She's one of those who don't appreciate long hair, and that's fine, but a rude comment isn't. I hope she doesn't give you any unwanted comments in the future, but if she does, try not to let it get to you even though it can be hard; remember all of us, who are in awe of your beautiful hair. :3

(I hope I'll be able to grow my hair as long and beautiful as yours!)

Loribelle
January 20th, 2015, 07:53 AM
Sounds like your sister is jealous. Who wouldn't be? Your hair is gorgeous.

^^^THIS^^^
I admit I am a little, too ;)

MeowScat
January 20th, 2015, 08:03 AM
I'm sorry that happened, your hair is gorgeous!

Sisters can be the most jealous, hurtful, immature fight instigators. My darling Sister is the nastiest person to me, but a doll to every one else. In my case, ignoring her only infuriates her, so a nasty comeback about something she's insecure about shuts her up. Fire with fire.

Sorry, this makes me so mad!

Either be ready with a comeback for next time, or wear your braid in a bun.

Savvyhorsez
January 20th, 2015, 08:15 AM
Don't listen to the negative people, keep them out of your mind, it's your hair, if it's not on top of their head, and you didn't ask for their comments, it's none of their business.

I have run across a few people who have said "I just want to cut it", but they meant it in a way that they love it so much that they want to cut it off, and put it on themselves. If it was not meant that way, that was extremely bold, and rude sounding to me.

Your hair is lovely, I find no reason to cut off such beautiful hair!

Red'N'Curly
January 20th, 2015, 08:56 AM
Teazel, for what it's worth, I'm sure countless people admire your hair and never get up the nerve to say anything! If I was behind you in the checkout line, I'd be drooling the whole time!

Sisters can have an almost shared identity, that leads one to feel that the other's choices negatively affect their own image. I ran into that with my own sister, two years younger, when we were both late teens/ early twenties. She was super trendy and it really, really bothered her that I wasn't. She would try to "help" me put outfits together. She even told me once that I looked frumpy and I needed to lose the baggy sweaters and long pearl rope, and start wearing heels and showing cleavage if I ever wanted to get a boyfriend. Ouch! lol. She and I have the exact same hair, except her natural color is a few shades darker than mine. When she wore hers bleached in a yellowish blonde and gelled short and spiky, with long straightened bangs, It really bugged her that I didn't do much with mine.

Thankfully, unlike your sister, mine learned with a bit of maturity to play nice. Though you can still tell some of my "flaws" make her uncomfortable. I think sometimes sisters just think the other one should share their idea of style. For whatever reason it's like we're linked.

There is still no excuse for your sister being rude. And yeah, if she ever assaults your beautiful hair with scissors, press charges! ;)

diggem
January 20th, 2015, 08:56 AM
I agree with everyone here, pay it no mind. She was just showing her ignorance and probably jealousy.

In my opinions, Hair that is too long, is a good start.

diggem

Ambrielle
January 20th, 2015, 09:17 AM
Oh Teazel, i am so sorry out of all people this came from a sibling :grouphug: While i think everyone is entitled to voice their opinion i also believe sometimes it is best to say nothing if what we have to say is not constructive, helpful in any way and negative. Yes, it was rude of her even if the intention was not to come across as such but people should think twice before they spew out words randomly without taking into consideration how these may affect someone else.
I still get comments like that from people and my hair is nowhere as long as yours. When my hair was longer than this someone had the nerve to imply my "long hair" would probably be the cause of my death if i ever used one of those mall escalators (which they know i avoid using as they give me anxiety, non hair related). I think i smiled and replied we are all going to die someday, gloomy but it shut them up.;)
your hair is beautiful! Enjoy it <3

spidermom
January 20th, 2015, 10:26 AM
Another fan of your hair here.

Think nothing of it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. Some think they're also entitled to blurt it.

A massage therapist called my hair crazy-long once. She still gave a great massage.

luvlonghair75
January 20th, 2015, 10:43 AM
Well, your snarky sister is just jealous of your gorgeous hair! Don't worry about wearing it up around her. Keep it down if ya got it, flaunt it! :)

cathair
January 20th, 2015, 10:47 AM
You know when you get to the edge of something really high, like a balcony, or a bridge or the edge of a building? And you get that thought in your head 'I could jump!' and makes your stomach feel all funny. You know it's bad, but you still think about it. I've heard it said that if you do think about it, it proves your own sanity, because you understand the consequences of what will happen if you did.

Maybe it's like that with your sister? Maybe she's not making a judgement at all. She's seen something that is more extreme that she would normally see, the thought has popped into her head like 'I could jump!', but she doesn't mean anything by it at all. She's just had the misfortune of saying it out loud when she should have kept it in her own head. She didn't do it after all did she?

Maybe, maybe not, I don't know your sister, but that thought popped into my head so I thought I would say it ;)

Your hair is truly enviable anyway. I hope you have dismissed all thoughts of cutting it. I don't think it would make you happy doing it, because you other people's opinions.

Ani Ta
January 20th, 2015, 10:56 AM
Teazel, first of all your hair is fantastic!!! The color, the length *awwwww*

I guess that in case you get along well with your sister that she just cannot imagine what her comment meant to you. Miggels cannot understand our passion so do not feel offended.

If you do not get along well, don't let anything touch you - it's not worth it!

And it was just HER opinion, she can like short hair better but its your hair and your decision.

I hope, I managed to write some understandable stuff as english is not my first language. Sorry for that!

AspenSong
January 20th, 2015, 11:15 AM
*hugs* I'm sorry!! Your hair is gorgeous and ya know what, people can just sort of be super lame at times. My brother went through a thing about my long hair and I had to be pretty blunt with him to put an end to it. We get along fine and love each other, but everyone has their opinions and that's all it is. Her Opinion. At least you didn't answer her like I would have....lol.

Brother - Your hair is ridiculously long....I just want to cut it off
Me - What's coming out of your face is ridiculous, Stop or I might punch it.

lol. :)

Wildcat Diva
January 20th, 2015, 11:47 AM
I just wanted to say hugs to you, and try to turn our mind from such negativity. We love your hair, and it's a shame your sister had to be so mean. No reason for such a comment at all. Wanting to cut your hair herself is an aggressive comment, even if it's meant in jest. How were you supposed to feel with her saying that anyway? How hurtful.

Panth
January 20th, 2015, 11:58 AM
I'm afraid, especially given that it was a dress-up sort of occasion, I would have replied with something like: "I think your dress is astounding------ly ugly. Can I throw paint at it?"

The dead-pan "You do realise that most countries would classify that as assault." might also work.

Needless to say, she has poor taste. More to the point, she is just one person and as this thread has amply demonstrated -- nowhere near everyone agrees with her! You have beautiful hair!

Agnes Hannah
January 20th, 2015, 12:18 PM
You aren't here to decorate her world!
I guess she probably wishes her hair is like yours, I know I do, its beautiful. Your pictures have inspired me to grow ridiculously long (I'm 48) and I want hair that I can sit on by mid 50's.
I haven't got sisters, but my mum has been negative about my hair in the past. People can be thoughtless sometimes, but its your hair and should make you happy.:kitten:

Entangled
January 20th, 2015, 12:44 PM
Oh, Teazel, your hair in your signature was what convinced me that updos are worth learning! Your hair is gorgeous. You're one of the people that I want my hair to resemble.

CousinItt
January 20th, 2015, 01:15 PM
I do love your hair Teazel. It's beautiful and hopefully I can get mine equally as long.

Some people genuinely don't like long hair, and it's nothing personal. My parents are two of them. I've learned to ignore the comments if I wear my hair down around them. I like my hair, and that's all that matters.

swearnsue
January 20th, 2015, 01:33 PM
Your sister didn't really say your hair wasn't beautiful, she said she "could just cut it". Maybe that is her first thought that she just blurted out without meaning it to be a negative. I can see myself in that position but I would blurt out "I could just brush it".

Please don't feel like it was a negative and think bad about yourself or your sister. You don't really have proof that she meant to hurt your feelings.

I think your hair is so effing gorgeous that your sister couldn't think straight when she gazed upon it and at that moment said something stupid. Her brain shorted out for a second there. Which may be her usual state based on your Mom's reaction!

gwenalyn
January 20th, 2015, 01:36 PM
Teazel, before I joined LHC, when I was lurking, I used to look at your signature and wish and wish and wish my hair looked like yours. It's beautiful. Count me in on the Teazel fan club!

MidnightMoon
January 20th, 2015, 01:38 PM
You hair is awesome, just ignore that sort of comments. Bet there's at least a bit of jealousy ir something in that.

Yozhik
January 20th, 2015, 01:49 PM
Next time agree with her that it is ridiculous, but while you are saying "ridiculous" picture her in Snape's robes and Mrs. Longbottom's hat.

*wink*

Nah, whatever her motivation, it isn't worth thinking on. Your enjoyment of your hair need not be affected by another's opinion.

bwahahaha! Neko, I love your sense of humor!

Teazel, I've been a longtime admirer of your hair - it has such a beautiful texture in addition to its truly stunning length! :flowers:
With sibling comments like that, I'm sometimes glad I'm an only child. :p

Wildcat Diva
January 20th, 2015, 01:50 PM
Well, there is a whole thread or two about whether or not comments like that are sure to have a bit of jealousy involved. Suffice it to say that many people just suspect that some people simply don't like long hair or other outside the norm things. As in these folks, they just can't see the beauty in it. Plus they are bossy and outspoken about their opinions which are "correct" (to them). Which is not jealousy.

MidnightMoon
January 20th, 2015, 02:02 PM
Wildcat Diva well, that's why I added the "or something" :p
I have seen and read through some pages of that thread, too, and I can't really say what it is if I'm not in the OP's sister mind...but at least we all agree her hair is beautiful :)
I believe I have found myself making or thinking negative things about a person's features or the like, only to realise after some thought that it might be me wanting to have them (being jealous), but I do agree that it's not always the case, and sometimes it's just plain dislike for something (although that's usually features that are too different from mine, in which I can't really "see" beauty).

Wildcat Diva
January 20th, 2015, 02:07 PM
Yep! The or something about covers it.
Whatever it was motivating what she said, it was not a nice thing to say to our Teazel!

hennalonghair
January 20th, 2015, 02:11 PM
Teasel you're hair is gorgeous. Who knows why people think what they do. You can't control that but you can control how you feel and react towards it.:flower:

arr
January 20th, 2015, 02:28 PM
Teazel, i think you have beautiful hair. I can however understand how people not influenced by the LHC and not used to seeing super long hair could think that your hair (or anyone elses super long hair) is "ridiculously long". I think that really is their true opinion. My problem isnt so much that they have that opinion because lets be honest, not everyone has to like really long hair. My problem is that they have to say it out loud. It is rude and hurtful. I see style choices on a daily basis that i dont like but i would never tell the person because it isnt my business and they are under no obligation to please me. Unfortunately family is often more hurtful to one another than to anyone else and it can really affect us more than if a stranger said something negative to us. Im still struggling with comments a family member made to me about my hair over the holidays, (and that they make every time i see them) and i hate that they get to me like this. I guess we just really have to learn to not care what they think.

meteor
January 20th, 2015, 02:33 PM
Teasel you're hair is gorgeous. Who knows why people think what they do. You can't control that but you can control how you feel and react towards it.:flower:

^Very true! :agree:

Also, I'd try to see the positive in it, if she doesn't stop pestering you: "So you don't like my hair, sister. And guess what: I happen to love it! :D So isn't it awesome that I am the one stuck with my mane, while you have yours? We both have exactly what we want! Win-win! :D"

Hootenanny
January 20th, 2015, 02:37 PM
Teazel, you are one of my hair idols here! Please don't let ignorant comments get you down! People can be such fools.

meteor
January 20th, 2015, 02:44 PM
Also, don't forget that for one person who happened to dislike it, there were probably hundreds on that very same day who admired your awesome, thud-worthy braid! I don't know what's wrong with giving compliments, but I think lots of people are sometimes just too shy to say it.

Your hair is phenomenal and is an incredible inspiration for me and for many, many others! :D Don't let others take you down! :flowers:

Fairlight63
January 20th, 2015, 02:47 PM
I agree, you are one of my hair idols also. Don't let her get you down! If she does not like your hair that is her problem, not yours. You like your hair & that is what matters.

bte
January 20th, 2015, 02:48 PM
Families can be awful, but be proud. I would be ecstatic if someone said my hair was ridiculously long [ foret about the second comment, justrevel in the frst.

psimons
January 20th, 2015, 02:51 PM
I come and go at LHC for various reasons, but whenever I come back, like now - I check in on your profile to see how you're doing. You were one of my initial inspirations to grow my hair long and yes, I'm trying again.

Sarahlabyrinth
January 20th, 2015, 02:53 PM
Quite frankly, the sooner my hair is "ridiculously long", the better I shall like it.

Perhaps a group of ridiculously long haired people could suddenly arrive on your sister's doorstep and dance a spell on her....:)

Wildcat Diva
January 20th, 2015, 03:03 PM
Families can be awful, but be proud. I would be ecstatic if someone said my hair was ridiculously long [ foret about the second comment, justrevel in the frst.

Yes, I shall remember this in case I am ever so blessed to have hair long enough to warrant a comment about how ridiculous it is.

Vanilla
January 20th, 2015, 03:18 PM
Huge hugs teazel. I got the "ridiculously long" snarky comments as well, and my hair is not nearly as magnificent as yours. I just think in my head (though I should probably say it) "I am not here to decorate your world".

Teazel
January 20th, 2015, 03:24 PM
Oh my, thank you so much to everyone who posted. I can't reply to you all, but I've read every post and no doubt will be back to read again when I need a pep talk. LHC rocks! :rockerdud

I'm under no illusions that my sister acted out of jealousy. Envy might have been a component, but I think she's genuinely creeped out by very long hair. I understand that - I used to feel the same way myself, long ago before LHC. I'm sure she admires ordinary long hair, it's just that mine is extraordinary! :wink: And I'm sure she was suffering from feelings of insecurity: she was the mother of the bride, and she's intimidated by the beautiful, talented and charming family her daughter's married into. So I think my out-of-the-norm long hair probably embarrassed her. Oops. And I tried so hard not to let the side down by dressing well and appropriately. I couldn't cut my hair for the occasion, though! :shake:

swearnsue
January 20th, 2015, 04:26 PM
Quite frankly, the sooner my hair is "ridiculously long", the better I shall like it.

Perhaps a group of ridiculously long haired people could suddenly arrive on your sister's doorstep and dance a spell on her....:)

I'll dance with ya'll. My hair isn't that long but it is RIDICOUSLY shiny!! Maybe Snarky Sis would like to throw some mud on my hair to dilute it's brilliance.

petcrazy18
January 20th, 2015, 04:37 PM
At the end of the day there will always be people that would rather gripe about our long hair. They would rather push us into a social norm rather than actually appreciate the amount of work we've had to put ,ourselves through to get to where we are now. Ignore them! If they can't take the time to say something nice and civilized then they certainly aren't worth your time. LCH is here for you! :bottomsup:

OUKess
January 20th, 2015, 04:37 PM
Teazel Do not cut your hair because of a rude sister!! You have very beautiful awesome hair!! My opinion and I sure most others as well.

yogagirl
January 20th, 2015, 04:45 PM
Teazel, I am sorry you had to go through this. It would have left me quite upset as well. I'm not going to say your sister said what she said out of jealousy, because I don't know her. However there is little doubt in my mind that she said it out of spite, and it is never pleasant to be on the receiving end of that.

I am so glad LHCers were able to cheer you up a bit. Sending hugs! Chin up! :flower:

door72067
January 20th, 2015, 05:46 PM
I think your hair is ridiculously stunning!

poo on the negative Nancy in your life

chen bao jun
January 20th, 2015, 07:07 PM
Ok then, sis is not jealous but she's an insecure snot.
I have a brother who has many times expressed how terribly embarrassing I am for showing up in non designer clothes among friends of his, driving an older car.
poor him.
he also is humiliated because I don't flat iron my hair, and by my political opinions.
Mom won't defend me and I actually understand that. She'd rather we settled it ourselves than make things worse by taking sides.
I COULD actually buy a Louis Vuitton handbag to sashay around with around my brother but since I don't like them, I don't think I will spend $900 like that. Since it would take you years to grow your magnificent hair back, maybe next time you go to a family event, be prepared for your sister to be silly and just think inside, thank God I am not shallow like my poor sister.

EdG
January 20th, 2015, 07:11 PM
During one LHC meet, we walked into a cafe and the lady who worked there commented "You all have ridiculously long hair". I took it as a complement.

Your hair is beautiful, Teazel. :)
Ed

dulce
January 20th, 2015, 07:19 PM
Teazel,You have one of the most beautiful heads of hair here,the colour is wonderful as is your thickness and length.Please don't cut to satisfy your silly sister...Your hair is unique.I think by your comments you won't cut it off and I'm glad..

prettyinpink
January 20th, 2015, 07:58 PM
I smell jealousy! By the way teazel, I have been on here for a while and i have always admired your hair and all the buns you can do. Don't let comments like that get to you

M.McDonough
January 20th, 2015, 09:04 PM
There's no such thing as ''ridiculously long'' there's something such as ''luckily long''!!!!

M.McDonough
January 20th, 2015, 09:10 PM
Don't be ! people often make negative remarks sometimes but that's not a reason to be upset. I think she envies you !

maybeinthemtns
January 20th, 2015, 09:31 PM
Family. :rolleyes:

The sort of behavior shown to you is simply rude. I can't see much of a point to that comment except an attempt to make someone feel bad, and that says everything about the other person and nothing about you. Your hair is ridiculous-ly AMAZING! Seriously! So shiny. *drools*

Stormynights
January 20th, 2015, 10:19 PM
I think ridiculously long as being too long for you to take care of. You obviously are doing a wonderful job. Grow on, my friend.

Addy
January 22nd, 2015, 07:09 PM
I'm a little late to this but I have always admired your beautiful hair. I hope you never cut it because of someone else's remarks about it. I won't say she's jealous but very rude.

Wildcat Diva
January 22nd, 2015, 07:16 PM
Rude, crude, and socially unacceptable.

CoyoteSarah
January 22nd, 2015, 08:06 PM
Teazel, you have some of the most beautiful hair I have ever seen. The color, the wave, the shininess, EVERYTHING. Glorious. I have always secretly admired it and if my hair is ever even half that awesome, I'll be happy with it. So please, don't ever cut your hair off unless its for just you. If you cut it off just bc of some nasty comments, you're gonna make me cry. :wail:

spirals
January 22nd, 2015, 08:57 PM
I want to grow to fingertip just to spite a few people. Is that wrong?

Quixii
January 22nd, 2015, 09:46 PM
You know, I was just thinking about this thread after having read it, and thinking about how "ridiculously long" sounds like a compliment to me (even though I know in this context it wasn't), when I was out and about and took down my hair to redo the bun real quick. A woman I've run into a couple times said, "Wow, your hair is getting ridiculously long!" I thought it was so funny that she happened to use that exact phrasing. :laugh: It did still feel like a compliment, even though she didn't elaborate further either way.

I'm sorry your sister was so rude to you. :grouphug: Your hair is gorgeous.

Teazel
January 22nd, 2015, 10:35 PM
You're all awesome. :flowers:


Maybe Snarky Sis would like to throw some mud on my hair to dilute it's brilliance.

Ha. Long, long ago when I was about 13 I poured a bottle of cream over Snarky Sis's head. She was upset and I got told off, but I'm sure it was richly deserved and now I have the memory to warm my heart. :twisted: Actually the cream might have done her hair good, who knows. :wink:

chen bao jun - go you! Long may you embarrass your brother. :cheer:

EdG and Quixii, those were definitely compliments! :)

Don't worry, dulce, I would never cut my hair just because of my ugly blister's opinion. Quite the opposite.... :flower:

Go for it, spirals! I confess I feel the urge to grow to ankle and flaunt it in a certain person's face. :tongue:

hanne jensen
January 23rd, 2015, 02:18 AM
Teazel, you grow, girl!