My boyfriend's hair problems

[Rebecka]

My boyfriend has thin and fragile hair, this typical blond that gets greasy to fast, you know? It's at shoulder length and he wants it longer (just I won't let him grow it longer than mine mohahaha). But the thing is he is destroying it with his routine. He washes it every day and then rips his comb through while making this face: :mad:. You can hear it break, it gets so tangly, i have no idea how he does it. I introduced him to conditioner some months ago, but he still gets these tangles.

What tips should i give him? I know i should tell him to use oil treatments and wear sleeping cap and braid his hair (haha). But tips that he would really do? Because he's not a hairnazi like us, it needs to be simple and quick.

Thank you if you read all this :flower:

[Majorane]

Maybe start with convincing him to use a milder shampoo (and when he is used to that after a few months, he can think of stretching washes?) and letting him buy a wide toothed comb and a coney serum to help against the rrrrrripping through his hair? But really, if he doesn't want to change his routine for the sake of purdyer hair, he's not going to....

[Rebecka]

For sure he wants, if he wants it longer there is no other way than to stop breaking it. Thanks for that, ill talk to him :)

[yogagirl]

I think a coney leave-in pre combing is a great idea! Also, does he know how to properly detangle, from the bottom up? Maybe teach him that. Also make sure he has a good comb.

[Hotrox]

Would he use a tangle teezer or at least a wooden comb to brush with? You could probably find some quite manly looking combs on Etsy!

You could also suggest only combing while in the shower with conditioner in, this might be a step 2 though :)

Also you could do head and scalp oil massages together, could be fun :lol:

[lapushka]

I'd get him a 2 in 1, for sure! That way there's no escaping the conditioner. And if the conditioner gets on his scalp, no big deal - he washes every day. I'd get him that and a Tangle Teezer.

[Rebecka]

I think a coney leave-in pre combing is a great idea! Also, does he know how to properly detangle, from the bottom up? Maybe teach him that. Also make sure he has a good comb.

No, he just rips from scalp to end, and it sticks a lot of hair in the comb. This is great, i will show him how to :) Thank you


Would he use a tangle teezer or at least a wooden comb to brush with? You could probably find some quite manly looking combs on Etsy!

You could also suggest only combing while in the shower with conditioner in, this might be a step 2 though :)

Also you could do head and scalp oil massages together, could be fun :lol:
He already has a wide toothed comb, i heard that's supposed to be good (i have no idea however, i only use combs for trimming). I think i'll get him a brush though, something similar to tangle teezer that could get the knots out. Thanks :)

[Rebecka]

I'd get him a 2 in 1, for sure! That way there's no escaping the conditioner. And if the conditioner gets on his scalp, no big deal - he washes every day. I'd get him that and a Tangle Teezer.

The thing is he already uses conditioner, but a tangle teezer sounds like a very good thing :)

[Belle Paix]

My boyfriends hair is kind of the same way!!
I've been slowly introducing him to better quality items, like a wooden wide tooth comb, better shampoo, and I've got him from washing every day to washing every couple of days. He didn't get the not washing every day, but now that he's starting to see the results, he's gotten way better about it. I've also got him a boar bristle brush and discreetly gotten rid of his older (crappier) quality hair items, lol.

[mindwiped]

My boyfriends hair is kind of the same way!!
I've been slowly introducing him to better quality items, like a wooden wide tooth comb, better shampoo, and I've got him from washing every day to washing every couple of days. He didn't get the not washing every day, but now that he's starting to see the results, he's gotten way better about it. I've also got him a boar bristle brush and discreetly gotten rid of his older (crappier) quality hair items, lol.

Sorry, completely off topic...this sounds like me with DH shortly after getting married. There was less underpant on the waistband than off, and so I told him they had to go, I'll buy more. He tried to tell me they were just broke in, and he could get another couple years, easy <ha!> I looped my finger on the tiny bit attached, and gave a gentle, m'here tug, and ripped them off him. I now make the older ratty ones just disappear, its easier, and he's never said anything about missing any of them.

[Nini]

With fine hair he might not need conditioner. I only use that when I remember to make a treatment of some sort.

I use a mild shampoo, as SLS irritates my eczema. I never comb in the shower as I would pull out tons of hair that way. If possible I just leave it till it's more or less dry, then most of the tangles have slid out. I ditched the brush ten years ago, and I do believe it's made a big difference. Instead I have two combs, one widetooth and one fine for putting my hair up.

If he wants to grow his hair he's gonna have to make some changes along the way anyways, but it's always gonna be his decision in the end:D

If it's long enough he might wanna consider a ponytail to keep it somewhat contained, or a half-up would probably help a little too. You'll have to watch Vikings together, that might give you some ideas on how to wear "manly" updo's. It depends on his work of course. If it's a deskjob the need isn't as high as in with manual labour.

Good luck growing to him!

[MadPirateBippy]

I have fine, tangle prone hair and horn combs are my salvation, maybe you could get him one as a gift? They are beautiful.

I'd look into shampoo + conditioners, as well, and show him how to comb from the bottom up, maybe get him a little pair of hair scissors and teach him how to s&d. If he realizes that ripping his hair causes the damage he has to snip out later, it might help him learn to be more gentle with himself.

[Panth]

I also have fine, delicate hair that's the annoying sort of blond that shows grease really badly. My thoughts:

'cones. 'cones will be his friend. Lots and lots of them - for the slip and easy detangling, particularly if he's not willing to do very much fussy stuff to it. I'd go for a very plain, clear 'cone-free shampoo (SLS or sulphate-free depending upon his scalp preferences - fine hair (or at least some fine hair) can tolerate SLS provided that it's not being damaged lots in other ways) and a very 'coney conditioner. Something like hmm ... Pantene conditioner or L'Oreal Elvive Restore 5 conditioner (I currently use the latter with Boot's Naturals shampoo but I used Pantene Smooth and Sleek or Aqua Light for over a decade with long hair and no problems).

Maybe a protein-containing conditioner, e.g. the L'Oreal one. Fine hair is damaged easily and so often likes patch-repair stuff like protein, panthenol, etc. However, be wary of protein overdose and maybe don't try this if he's completely not ok with the notion that he might have to do a routine-reset once in a while by clarifying or moisturising.

Definitely get a wooden/horn/seamless plastic wide-toothed comb. Perhaps a tangle teaser (I've no exprience with that, though). Try to teach careful detangling - perhaps by making it something relaxing you can do for him sometimes?

Try to reduce washes, but realise he's likely not to be able to stretch washes that far. I can generally go about 3 days before the colour difference between scalp (grease!) and length becomes too much. It's just the way that colour is.

Perhaps introduce the concept of diluting shampoo?

I also wouldn't do this:


I'd get him a 2 in 1, for sure! That way there's no escaping the conditioner. And if the conditioner gets on his scalp, no big deal - he washes every day.

I've personally never found a 2in1 that would give sufficient conditioning for fine, delicate hair. I always find them no better than shampoo alone. You really, really need that slip and those patch-repairing ingredients. 2in1 products are designed for short hair, not long.

[prettyinpink]

I second the tangle teezer idea, the bigger kind with a handle. Also tell him all that shampoo could be causing all the oil! You could try teaching him about co washing

Good luck(:

[lapushka]

I've personally never found a 2in1 that would give sufficient conditioning for fine, delicate hair. I always find them no better than shampoo alone. You really, really need that slip and those patch-repairing ingredients. 2in1 products are designed for short hair, not long.

I was primarily thinking... he's a *man* you know and they probably find one bottle easier to deal with than two separate ones. Don't be surprised if after all this time the conditioner bottle is still full. ;)

[Anje]

How is he drying his hair? Squeeze it out or ruffle it up with a towel? Make sure he's not making huge tangles with it when he dries it (or when he washes it, for that matter).

See if you can get him a shower comb and talk him into running it through his hair while it's full of conditioner. That might help cut down on the post-shampoo "I piled all my hair on my head and made a shampoo mohawk because I'm a MAN!" tangles. ETA: Not to imply that all guys do this, but it's one of the fun things you get to do with short hair, and maybe he hasn't worked out that it causes problems when you make a habit of it with longer hair. :)

Also ETA: Running my fingers through my ends a few times before I start detangling can often make a difference for me, too. Even if it just breaks hair into sections a bit so stuff from one half of my head isn't attached to stuff from the other side.

[spidermom]

I would skip the rinse-out conditioner but use some sort of coney leave-in since his hair is fine and easily weighed down. A spray in would be probably be easy for him. Also teach him to comb from the bottom up, working tangles out slowly. I wouldn't get him a brush since he'd probably just rip through the knots.

Really though, some people will talk the talk but won't change their bad habits. My ex-SIL asked for advice about her hair. I gave it and demonstrated, but she went right back to ripping a fine-tooth comb through her wet hair. It's what she's used to, I guess.

[RapunzelKat]

One thing I'd suggest is that he try detangling after his hair has dried. After I started doing this, detangling became a process that took only a few minutes, and I lose way less hair. :)

[Rebecka]

Wow, never thought i'd get so much great answers! Thank you all! I've bought a tangel teezer-copy (hehe, i'm stingy). And I'll show him how to do. I think he will stick to it since it won't hurt so much. But i won't try to make him stretch washes or S&D or anything, think thats to much effort ;)

[Panth]

I was primarily thinking... he's a *man* you know and they probably find one bottle easier to deal with than two separate ones. Don't be surprised if after all this time the conditioner bottle is still full. ;)

*shrug* If he actually wants to improve his hair and is genuinely requesting help, rather than having suggestions made to him or is just doing generalised moaning, I think he can learn to use conditioner, Y chromosome or not...

And if not, then at least Rebecka can say "no more moaning about how it won't grow, you wouldn't try to fix it, you don't get to moan about it".


One thing I'd suggest is that he try detangling after his hair has dried. After I started doing this, detangling became a process that took only a few minutes, and I lose way less hair. :)

Funny. My hair is the exact opposite, despite our hairtypes being almost identical. I get on best with detangling damp.