PDA

View Full Version : Transitioning: Embracing my GREYS Gracefully



hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 06:40 AM
The other day someone asked me how much henna relaxes my hair and I wasn't sure what to write. I'm a 2b/2c now with an under layer of 3a and have been colouring my hair with henna for 35 years. I wasnt sure how to answer that. :shrug: People have asked me what my natural hair colour is and I don't even know any more.
I have a large amount of grey right above my ears, more on one side than the other. In fact I've got almost all greys growing above my right ear and along my hairline. Normally I can't wait to colour them but about a month ago while at a sawmill, I came across an older woman with beautiful shiny silver hair down to her knees and she GLOWED. :inlove: She wasn't far removed from being angelic looking, in my opinion and since then I have imagined myself with long grey hair. I'm almost 55 and I don't want to still be colouring my hair at 60 nor do I want cherry cola red hair.


While I love the colour, its just not something I want to grow old with. I absolutely love the colour on many of the ladies here but most of them are young and many of them have dark hair to begin with.
The biggest mistake I made was the decision to colour my hair with added hibiscus powder. Now normally I always do a patch test and for some reason when I decided to try this I used 100 grams of Deep Red henna from The Henna Guys. Well after just doing henna glosses for years I decided to try a full application of henna without a prior test patch . At first I really liked it because it was so different but it was too dark for me. Hibiscus has many different strains just like henna but most of them are BLUE RED which gives the reddish purple tones. These tones on top of my light coloured henna gloss colour was just too extreme for me. Ten or fifteen years ago I would have been thrilled to boldly wear this colour with pride but as we age we ALL go lighter in colour so naturally anything that's darker just isn't going to suite us , myself included. Another thing I didn't consider was that adding any kind of blue tones to hair creates an unnatural hair colour. There aren't really any bluish purple tones in natural hair colours which is why this doesn't really appeal to me.


Another reason I'd like to grow in my greys is because I'm not a high maintenance type of woman. Years ago I stopped wearing makeup. I might add a touch of blush with a slightly tinted lip gloss and that's about it. As I've aged make up just doesn't suite me the same as it did before and I'm quite content and comfortable with this so the brightly coloured hair just is too bold .


My hair colour and hair thickness are what I get complimented on the most but I just don't want to keep up with these pretences any longer. From the back I'm sure I look like a young woman but I'm NOT and want to be true to myself. If I can't accept that my hair is going grey than how can I expect others to accept it either?
The first year will be difficult but after a year I should have about 7 inches of new growth. I'll then be able to wear my hair up with all natural virgin hair covering my scalp with a faded but colourful bun in the back.
I got a real good look at my greys in full sunlight the other day and thought they looked quite attractive. They are shiny silver strands that I have been covering up like they weren't supposed to he there.
This actually is a turning point in my life. This transition means more to me than just growing out my natural coloured hair. Its the starting point of truly accepting who I am on all levels because I actually enjoy growing older and all that comes with it. Its a complete package after all which I am FINALLY willing to accept.


NOTE: At the moment I unfortunately cannot share pictures with you. I'm on an iPhone and this site doesnt have the software to support it on the posts.have BUT I will soon be getting satellite Internet so will add pics in later, if only for others people's benefit.


If there are any other members transitioning that would like to stare their story please feel free to join me in this major transition.


If any members have any suggestions on how to fade out my henna without using harmful methods like bleach then I'm all ears. Oiling before washing is working ok but it's really heavy and messy.
I'm not looking for any quick methods. Just gentle ones.


Thank you

Stormynights
December 23rd, 2014, 07:04 AM
It isn't easy to make the switch from color to natural. For me it was worth it. Dark roots were not as obnoxious to me as white roots. This was taken last summer. I haven't used color in at least 15 years now. I finally learned to love my natural color.

http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag111/Jblby/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg (http://s1301.photobucket.com/user/Jblby/media/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg.html)

Amapola
December 23rd, 2014, 08:14 AM
This sounds like an incredibly meaningful process for you, hennalonghair. I say congratulations - accepting yourself as who you are is so important.

I can't speak to the henna, sorry. Just wanted to share that here in my county we also have a lady with knee-length hair (and she wears it down all the time, too!) and it's a stunning shade of silver. It used to be jet black, but is now getting lighter and lighter. I think some day she will be sporting pure white locks. It's very inspiring to see her - she is a very striking looking woman with that glorious hair. Everyone admires her hair. I bet your hair will look fantastic too!

JustPam
December 23rd, 2014, 08:33 AM
I don't know anything about fading henna but you could perhaps try using a temporary dye to blend your roots for a while. Just patch test it to make sure it washes out properly for when you want rid of it.

Madora
December 23rd, 2014, 08:35 AM
Congrats on deciding to go natural, hennalonghair! Eagerly awaiting pics!

Stormynights, your hair looks wonderful! The color, the color! So beautiful!

Annalouise
December 23rd, 2014, 08:49 AM
I second what Madora said. Stormynights, what a gorgeous color! Hennalonghair - congratuations on your decision!

Wildcat Diva
December 23rd, 2014, 08:54 AM
I use an IPhone4 and there is an app for my imageshack account that makes linking pix a breeze. It's well worth it to me to use it. Very easy.

Edelweiss
December 23rd, 2014, 09:01 AM
Congrats on your decision ! :)

To fade henna, try clay, and also coconut milk.

That's what I did when I wanted to get rid of my black dye.

You can also use lightening methods like honey and lemon, it will help as well ;)

KittyBird
December 23rd, 2014, 10:13 AM
Yep, you'll look weird during the first year of growth, but after that, it just looks awesome. Trust me! ;)

Charybdis
December 23rd, 2014, 10:48 AM
I don't have any hints for fading the henna -- I think it's easier to stop conventional dye than henna, because with conventional dye you can do a few rounds of highlights and/or lowlights to soften the demarcation. However, I just wanted to say that, once you get through the transitional phase, you will NEVER regret the decision to stop dying. I enjoyed my auburn hair when I had it, but I don't miss the upkeep and expense (the latter being a smaller factor for you as a henna user, of course). I like my sparkly silver hairs, and I think they add visual interest, especially when you have thick hair. I also like knowing that my hair is maturing naturally at the same time as my face, so I won't have to look in the mirror one day and make that difficult decision about whether the dye is too dark or too bright to harmonise with my face as it is now. Kudos on taking the plunge!

Halliday
December 23rd, 2014, 11:02 AM
Stormynights, your hair is beautiful!

Lavenderhaze
December 23rd, 2014, 11:44 AM
Henna longhair,
I'm beginning a similar transition. I have either bleached or dyed my hair since I was 15. Part of it was nonacceptance of my natural hair color (7N) and then it just became a habit that I didn't even question. But this year, after a dye disaster, I ended up with orange tinsel like hair that felt like sawdust. Deeply damaged. I've spent the last year conditioning, oiling and treating my hair very gently. Night blooming's article about repairing damaged hair on this site has been a big help to me.

I can't even think of coloring my hair because it will probably fall out.

So, this has brought me to a place where I have no choice but to go back to my natural hair color. At this point it is about 20% gray and I haven't even seen my natural color for many years. At one point I would never have even considered letting my gray hair show, I would race to cover any little gray hair that poked through. But now that it's growing out I kind a like it :) it is much more flattering to my skin tone.

And there's such a difference in texture and health between the damaged, dyed part and the virgin new growth that I really don't want to go back to coloring, even though there is a really obvious line of demarcation. Even though my hair is part orange and half mousy gray. I might use Cassia to try to blend in the top temporarily until enough grows out that I can fully transition, but I kind of think the silvers are pretty. It is a big change in mindset.

Yeah it's only hair but feels like some kind of life transition. Now that I have adjusted to it, it's okay :D
And imagine all the hours spent hair coloring now freed up from trying to cover-up hair that was just fine to begin with.....

Sarahlabyrinth
December 23rd, 2014, 12:20 PM
Hennalaonghair, I want to say that every time I see your hair I stop to admire it.

Yes, transitioning can be tricky nut I'm so sure it is worth it.

I don't know if you could try the same thing as me ( I don't know anything about henna) - but what I have done/am doing is -

I allowed my old colour (in my avatar) to fade and began using a new paler colour (ash blonde) in my hair. Some months ago I began transitioning from this lighter colour to show my greys. I did this by gradually giving the dye less and less time on my hair each time I did my roots. I went from 30 mins developing time to 20 minutes. At the moment I am using 10 minutes and will then go to 5 minutes, then no more dye. I have quite a few months at each development stage (I wanted to transition without an obvious demarcation line, if I could).

So it looks like this at the moment and the process is going well, I feel:

http://i1253.photobucket.com/albums/hh582/Sarahlabyrinth/DSCF6573.jpg

Anyway, all the best for your transitioning. It is an exciting time!

lapushka
December 23rd, 2014, 12:52 PM
You're going to have to grow out your entire henna. It is *difficult* to say the least. I hope you succeed, there is a great support thread for those growing out dye, so I hope you can stick to it. ... VERY DIFFICULT!

CopperSilver
December 23rd, 2014, 05:02 PM
Hi there Hennalonghair! I survived growing out years of henna - its easy now you've reached that mental turning point. I had indigo and buxus in there and didn't want to mess with it (orange and green with silver would have been way worse) so I just went for the full on skunk stripe two tone loveliness for a couple of years. Having long hair helped. I could live with a band of silver spreading outwards from my hairline (ie in a bun) better than downwards from a parting. There were hard times but most of the worst is anticipation rather than reality. I do miss the effects of henna on my hair though. I'm having to learn how to deal with it all over again.
You can do it! Good luck!!

LauraLongLocks
December 23rd, 2014, 05:11 PM
Congratulations on your decision. I think once you get past the awkward stage you'll be glad you decided to do this. *cheers*

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 05:35 PM
It isn't easy to make the switch from color to natural. For me it was worth it. Dark roots were not as obnoxious to me as white roots. This was taken last summer. I haven't used color in at least 15 years now. I finally learned to love my natural color.

http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag111/Jblby/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg (http://s1301.photobucket.com/user/Jblby/media/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg.html)

SHUT UP!!!!
Seriously? This is YOUR hair?
:wannabe::love::bowtome:

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 05:39 PM
Hennalaonghair, I want to say that every time I see your hair I stop to admire it.

Yes, transitioning can be tricky nut I'm so sure it is worth it.

I don't know if you could try the same thing as me ( I don't know anything about henna) - but what I have done/am doing is -

I allowed my old colour (in my avatar) to fade and began using a new paler colour (ash blonde) in my hair. Some months ago I began transitioning from this lighter colour to show my greys. I did this by gradually giving the dye less and less time on my hair each time I did my roots. I went from 30 mins developing time to 20 minutes. At the moment I am using 10 minutes and will then go to 5 minutes, then no more dye. I have quite a few months at each development stage (I wanted to transition without an obvious demarcation line, if I could).

So it looks like this at the moment and the process is going well, I feel:

http://i1253.photobucket.com/albums/hh582/Sarahlabyrinth/DSCF6573.jpg

Anyway, all the best for your transitioning. It is an exciting time!

Very very cool. Thank you for sharing! That looks lovely as does Stormy's

LongCurlyTress
December 23rd, 2014, 05:55 PM
It isn't easy to make the switch from color to natural. For me it was worth it. Dark roots were not as obnoxious to me as white roots. This was taken last summer. I haven't used color in at least 15 years now. I finally learned to love my natural color.

http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag111/Jblby/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg (http://s1301.photobucket.com/user/Jblby/media/Mobile%20Uploads/20140706_131237_zps68406a1d.jpg.html)

Stormynights! Where did you get your gorgeous barrette? And your silver platinum elegance looks gorgeous! :agape:

allycat
December 23rd, 2014, 06:22 PM
I'm sooo interested in this thread. I am a natural strawberry blonde, but I started henna glossing 4 years ago when the grays started coming in. I do my roots only so it's pretty close to my natural color. And while I'm still at a stage of really enjoying it I'm pretty sure that, like you, at a certain point I'm going to want to transition too.

I've also been knocked out by a stranger on the street with a head of long silver or white hair and thought - wow, I love it. That's for me one day!

But the *how* to get there…with henna! My wonderful friend, henna! My oh-so-permanent friend!

Anyway, a funny thing: I just bookmarked this article a couple days ago. I was dumbstruck by this woman's hair. Maybe the most gorgeous transitioning hair I've ever seen. I know she has black hair, not red, but the contrast and the way it's not uniform all over is very natural looking. Eventually I will consult with a hairdresser, like she did, to see if I could do something like this. It sounds time-consuming for a while, but it won't last forever, right?

http://www.refinery29.com/32285#slide

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 07:16 PM
This sounds like an incredibly meaningful process for you, hennalonghair. I say congratulations - accepting yourself as who you are is so important.
Everyone admires her hair. I bet your hair will look fantastic too!
I agree that accepting ourselves as is is crucial. Extra long silver hair is stunning.

I don't know anything about fading henna but you could perhaps try using a temporary dye to blend your roots you want rid of it.
Thanks very much JustPam. I won't consider temporary dye. I will find a way to blend my hair so there isn't so much of a hardened line between the colours.

Congrats on deciding to go natural, hennalonghair! Eagerly awaiting pics!

Stormynights, your hair looks wonderful! The color, the color! So beautiful!
Thank you my friend. Stormys my new hair icon

I second what Madora said. Stormynights, what a gorgeous color! Hennalonghair - congratuations on your decision!
You bet:appaud:

I use an IPhone4 and there is an app for my imageshack account that makes linking pix a breeze. It's well worth it to me to use it. Very easy.
Thanks Wildcat Diva. I think you may have actually told me this before. Somebody did . Thank you so much . I'm hoping I get Internet for my laptop before I need to use this but if not its good to know there is an option. :flower:

Congrats on your decision ! :)

To fade henna, try clay, and also coconut milk.

That's what I did when I wanted to get rid of my black dye.

You can also use lightening methods like honey and lemon, it will help as well ;)
I may try the clay. I've got some Rhassoul clay and coconut oil. The coconut oil is taking out the burgundy quite nicely. Now my greys are a light pinkish orange. It sounds hideous but it actually looks very feminine and pretty. Its subtle which I don't mind. I won't be using lemon juice though. My hair is fairly porous so lemon juice just dries it out .
I don't hate my colour. I just would like a chance to see my nature hair long before I die. It might sound mello dramatic but I figure I have at least 10 to 15 years of growing my hair. That's a LOT of hair growth so I am happy that I'll have time to reach my goal.
Thanks Edelweiss


Yep, you'll look weird during the first year of growth, but after that, it just looks awesome. Trust me! ;)
Thanks for your support Kittybird. It means a lot coming from another thick haired henna head:cheer:

Kudos on taking the plunge!
Thank you Charydbis. I could still add highlighting if I wanted but I doubt I will. I know I'll manage to find ways to wear it that will look attractive.

Stormynights, your hair is beautiful!check!


Henna longhair



Yeah it's only hair but feels like some kind of life transition. Now that I have adjusted to it, it's okay :D
And imagine all the hours spent hair coloring now freed up from trying to cover-up hair that was just fine to begin with.....YES the freedom of not having to colour. I had to colour my hair every 10 to 14 days and its getting to be a royal pain. I have to reserve the time to do my hair and then make sure it dries before bedtime. Two years ago I went cold turkey and stopped colouring my hair 2 years ago and one day when I was out shopping this woman yelled out really loud while laughing " I wonder if she colours her hair." As soon as I got home I coloured it again. I was so humiliated. I hate spent 8 months growing it out and that one comment really got to me.thank you Lavenderhaze


Hennalaonghair, I want to say that every time I see your hair I stop to admire it.

Yes, transitioning can be tricky nut I'm so sure it is worth it.

I don't know if you could try the same thing as me ( I don't know anything about henna) - but what I have done/am doing is -




Anyway, all the best for your transitioning. It is an exciting time!Thank you for your support Sarahlabyrinth and thank you for the compliments. I could do something like what you have done but I won't. While my hair is coloured its not the least but damaged. In fact at almost 55 my hair is healthier than ever. That's the biggest difference between colouring with herbs and colourung with chemical.Ones extremely conditioning and ones extremely damaging. I understand what you mean be softening the transition line. This certainly is very important.


You're going to have to grow out your entire henna. It is *difficult* to say the least. I hope you succeed, there is a great support thread for those growing out dye, so I hope you can stick to it. ... VERY DIFFICULT!
Lapushka! I don't HAVE to do anything. That's the beauty of where I'm at presently. There is no 'have to's'.
I have no intentions of cutting my hair any time soon and have NO PROBLEMS rocking a henna ombré...... With silver light brown on top and orange burgundy on the bottom. I'm pretty good at pulling off the strange and unusual with flying colours but thanks for the support all the same.

Hi there Hennalonghair! I survived growing out years of henna - its easy now you've reached that mental turning point. I had indigo and buxus in there and didn't want to mess with it (orange and green with silver would have been way worse) so I just went for the full on skunk stripe two tone loveliness for a couple of years. Having long hair helped. I could live with a band of silver spreading outwards from my hairline (ie in a bun) better than downwards from a parting. There were hard times but most of the worst is anticipation rather than reality. I do miss the effects of henna on my hair though. I'm having to learn how to deal with it all over again.
You can do it! Good luck!!hey coppersilver. Yes I did the full out skunk look but I'm not actually that grey. In fact I don't have much grey at all in the bulk of my hair but either way it still ends up looking unattractive once first growing out but my hair grows fast and strong so I'm determined to still have great looking hair .
I've gotta admit though that its an emotional thing . I've been doing this for 35 years now. I have associated myself with my hair . It feels like I am going through a grieving stage. Sort if like mourning the loss of my hair. I'm not sure if you know what I mean.
I'm just thankful that now I have the accessories to wear my hair up each and everyday where before I didn't. I look forward to sporting my grey head and colourful bun. I don't give a _________ if they don't match. :shrug:
Someone here had a saying written in their signature that I think is so appropriate here and comes to mind; quote: " I'm not here to decorate your world." I LOVE that!!!! :happydance:


Congratulations on your decision. I think once you get past the awkward stage you'll be glad you decided to do this. *cheers*thank you kindly for your support Lauralonglocks . Its nice to get such support from members here. Especially the ones who are currently transitioning or have been through it. It really means a lot.


Stormynights! Where did you get your gorgeous barrette? And your silver platinum elegance looks gorgeous! :agape:
I know , right????

Stormy has turned into my hair hero overnight :cheer:

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 07:41 PM
I apologize for removing some of your comments in your personal quotes.
My post was over 10,000 words and LHC won't support anything over that.

Whatttt????? ...... :lol:

calmyogi
December 23rd, 2014, 08:01 PM
I haven't read through all of the posts, but I wanted to add something. I have always felt that women, who are obviously in the age group that generally start going grey, who dye their hair are only aging themselves, and not achieving what they think they are, a more youthful appearance. My husband even said he would much rather see a older women with long silver tresses, rather than, short dyed ones. He says he can see beauty in that. Like the women is still carrying her glory and attractiveness into old age.

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 08:06 PM
I think my biggest challenge is letting go how I identify myself now.
I'm not sure how to explain this without coming off sounding vain and arrogant but I'll try.
Because my hair is so thick and colourful I attract a LOT of attention. While I was younger I loved all the attention I got but I'm not the same person I was before. While its nice getting compliments and acknowledgement of having long healthy hair, I don't really like all the attention it draws. I'm much more reserved than I was when I was younger.
But what's weird is that I feel almost guilty for growing out my colour . Its the same feeling I had when I cut my 48 inch hair because it was just too heavy. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Its hard to explain. Maybe some of you others who are growing out their hair colour after a lifetime will understand that its more than a vanity issue.
I feel in mourning..... Like I have to let go of a best friend or something.
I've identified myself for 35 years with having vibrant thick colourful hair and now I have to say goodbye to it forever.
There's so many wonderful memories I've got . The thing is I still LOVE red hair. It will always be close to my heart:cry:
Ok ok Lapushka.... You're right. Its going to be REALLY difficult!:wail::silly:

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 08:17 PM
I haven't read through all of the posts, but I wanted to add something. I have always felt that women, who are obviously in the age group that generally start going grey, who dye their hair are only aging themselves, and not achieving what they think they are, a more youthful appearance. My husband even said he would much rather see a older women with long silver tresses, rather than, short dyed ones. He says he can see beauty in that. Like the women is still carrying her glory and attractiveness into old age.

SMILE!!! THAT'S it! These days you can purchase any colour you want from a bottle except silver grey. It just can't be duplicated and even if it could it just doesn't receive the same respect and appreciation as someone with long silver hair. Anyone can have a fabulous colour . There's nothing extraordinarily special about it BUT long silver hair commands attention because its the one colour that been earned , not bought. The grace and wisdom that goes with that hair is as mysterious as the woman herself.
Long Silver hair is captivating ! A rarity! Priceless!:love:

This sounds like a cheesy commercial or something :lol:

Thank you calmyogi for reminding me to write about this.
Say thank you to your husband also. Its nice getting a mans point of view:)

calmyogi
December 23rd, 2014, 08:18 PM
I think that's all very understandable. I think, even with my almost BSL hair, I would be mourning the loss of it. Actually I have. I went in for a trim recently, and sure enough the guy took off all my growth progress I had made since my last trim. I was devastated. The weird thing is though it all grew back in two weeks. Idk if it was the massaging I started doing, but it was like magic. Maybe I was so sad and desperate to get it back it really was magic lol.

calmyogi
December 23rd, 2014, 08:23 PM
SMILE!!! THAT'S it! These days you can purchase any colour you want from a bottle except silver grey. It just can't be duplicated and even if it could it just doesn't receive the same respect and appreciation as someone with long silver hair. Anyone can have a fabulous colour . There's nothing extraordinarily special about it BUT long silver hair commands attention because its the one colour that been earned , not bought. The grace and wisdom that goes with that hair is as mysterious as the woman.
Long Silver hair is captivating ! A rarity! Priceless!:love:

Thank you calmyogi for reminding me to write about this.
Say thank you to your husband also. Its nice getting a mans point of view:)

Exactly! I agree. I think it's very captivating as well.

Sarahlabyrinth
December 23rd, 2014, 08:44 PM
I understand your sadness at leaving your colour behind - for quite a while I was battling with a kind of grief over it - it was as if I was leaving my youth behind somehow.

These days I feel that it is freedom from the tyranny of having to look youthful. Plus I can prepare to be an old lady with long stunning silver/white hair:)

Also I think silver/grey shows off my blue eyes.

hennalonghair
December 23rd, 2014, 09:17 PM
I understand your sadness at leaving your colour behind - for quite a while I was battling with a kind of grief over it - it was as if I was leaving my youth behind somehow.

These days I feel that it is freedom from the tyranny of having to look youthful. Plus I can prepare to be an old lady with long stunning silver/white hair:)

Also I think silver/grey shows off my blue eyes.

Yes. The freedom that I'll get from embracing this transition is well worth the sadness I feel for leaving my colour behind. I will NOT miss checking every week to see how much root is showing. I won't miss the need to colour my hair but what I WILL miss is the ritual. I've come to appreciate the time I take to do root glosses . I'd give myself an entire treatment and real the rewards of soft shiny frizz free hair BUT I know that I can still have a weekly hair routine. Just not THAT one.. Its going to be my New Years resolution .
Be myself !


*********************************
I'm goings to take pics of the progress so that later I can post pics.

Hopeful65
December 23rd, 2014, 09:38 PM
I grew out all of my bleach & dye. Took me just over 3 years to get 28" of virgin hair (so far). It was hard to do, yet so rewarding to me. I'm glad I did it.
About a year or so ago the compliments started. I would be at a store, etc, and a random stranger would come up and compliment me on my hair. It was strange, as I'd never had that happen before. Nowadays it seems like it's happening almost every time I go somewhere. I wondered for a long time, 'what exactly is it' that makes people stop and comment. Eventually I found out it was the color.
I too like my color. A lot. I didn't expect to be so pleasantly surprised.
End result is, I'm glad I did it.

Hopeful65
December 23rd, 2014, 10:02 PM
Henna longhair,
I'm beginning a similar transition. I have either bleached or dyed my hair since I was 15. Part of it was nonacceptance of my natural hair color (7N) and then it just became a habit that I didn't even question. But this year, after a dye disaster, I ended up with orange tinsel like hair that felt like sawdust. Deeply damaged. I've spent the last year conditioning, oiling and treating my hair very gently. Night blooming's article about repairing damaged hair on this site has been a big help to me.

I can't even think of coloring my hair because it will probably fall out.

So, this has brought me to a place where I have no choice but to go back to my natural hair color. At this point it is about 20% gray and I haven't even seen my natural color for many years. At one point I would never have even considered letting my gray hair show, I would race to cover any little gray hair that poked through. But now that it's growing out I kind a like it :) it is much more flattering to my skin tone.

And there's such a difference in texture and health between the damaged, dyed part and the virgin new growth that I really don't want to go back to coloring, even though there is a really obvious line of demarcation. Even though my hair is part orange and half mousy gray. I might use Cassia to try to blend in the top temporarily until enough grows out that I can fully transition, but I kind of think the silvers are pretty. It is a big change in mindset.

Yeah it's only hair but feels like some kind of life transition. Now that I have adjusted to it, it's okay :D
And imagine all the hours spent hair coloring now freed up from trying to cover-up hair that was just fine to begin with.....

^This sounds so much like me. I almost could have wrote it.

And I agree, Stormynight's hair is beautiful. So is Sarahlabyrinth's, and Coppersilver's. Gorgeous color! I know there are other's on this site as well that I truly admire.

Sarahlabyrinth
December 23rd, 2014, 11:21 PM
^This sounds so much like me. I almost could have wrote it.

And I agree, Stormynight's hair is beautiful. So is Sarahlabyrinth's, and Coppersilver's. Gorgeous color! I know there are other's on this site as well that I truly admire.

Aww, thank you!:) I fully agree, Stormynight has awesome hair.! Whenever I see an older lady with long silver hair I always stare in awe at its beauty, and if she is anywhere near me I compliment her.

CopperSilver
December 24th, 2014, 03:18 AM
I definitely understand the mourning thing. I felt I was far too young to have grey hair and it took several years of searching for Silvers on google, hanging out on the salt and pepper thread on here, and a false start that lasted 8 weeks before I panicked and covered it again. I joined the Cafe Gray forum which was a massive support - full of lovely women of all ages going through exactly the same thing and documenting it and cheering each other on.


I like to pretend I have the silver hair of a fairy or an elf or something whimsical rather than old lady hair - this helps me - coping strategy or whatever. Most of the time my hair disagrees and tries to make me look like a mad professor, but I can dream!


Stormynights, can I just echo everyone else with a massive THUD. What an inspiration. You too, Hopeful. I would love to see more pictures of your beautiful hair.

lapushka
December 24th, 2014, 07:14 AM
Lapushka! I don't HAVE to do anything. That's the beauty of where I'm at presently. There is no 'have to's'.
I have no intentions of cutting my hair any time soon and have NO PROBLEMS rocking a henna ombré...... With silver light brown on top and orange burgundy on the bottom. I'm pretty good at pulling off the strange and unusual with flying colours but thanks for the support all the same.

Oh looks like it will be easy then, the opposite of what I thought. :lol: All the better for you! :D

hennalonghair
December 24th, 2014, 07:39 AM
Double post

hennalonghair
December 24th, 2014, 07:48 AM
I've spent far too much time and effort looking after this 2 1/2 feet to cut it all off at once. I'm kicking myself for adding hibiscus powder to my henna routine because now my hair looks like its dyed from a box and not natural.
At least the colour I had before was natural but I am working on stripping out this blue red as gently as possible until I get a more natural colour. Growing my hair for even 5 more years I'm sure to cut off about a foot or so ( knowing how ansl I am about having a blunt hairline) so much of the colour will be gone. Maybe I'll see how it looks. It might look kinda cool but I'll be sure to take pics.

I also regret not taking photos of my long hair. I just didnt think to take pictures of my hair :shrug: so have very few.
Even more reason why I want to document all this .
I've also spent far too long worrying about what others think of me my entire life so I'm taking this opportunity to become a learning tool in a 'cognitive' way. Each time I see myself with my natural colour I will repeat to myself :


"I LOVE and APPROVE of myself
And going GREY is OK:cheer:


This transition is far more than hair deep:lol:
Its more of a 'MUCH NEEDED' inner transition than anything and I'm ready to embrace it ALL.

Its comforting to know there's so many others that can relate to what I am talking about
Love ya:flowers:

Neoma
December 24th, 2014, 08:39 AM
hennalonghair, I started a thread yesterday wherein I asked how I could transition from burgundy to brown. The main reason: Because eggplant/cherry cola hair doesn't occur in nature. There are moments when I like it -- when I am able to appreciate it just because it's pretty -- but I really dislike the artifice.

I am reading this thread with great interest. Your comments -- as well as everyone else's -- have been incredibly insightful.

I'm not sure whether I'm ready to stop hennaing all together. But I suspect that I'm not going to be a cherry cola head for much longer.

I wish you all the best during your transition. :flower:

hennalonghair
December 24th, 2014, 09:04 AM
hennalonghair, I started a thread yesterday wherein I asked how I could transition from burgundy to brown. The main reason: Because eggplant/cherry cola hair doesn't occur in nature. There are moments when I like it -- when I am able to appreciate it just because it's pretty -- but I really dislike the artifice.

I am reading this thread with great interest. Your comments -- as well as everyone else's -- have been incredibly insightful.

I'm not sure whether I'm ready to stop hennaing all together. But I suspect that I'm not going to be a cherry cola head for much longer.

I wish you all the best during your transition. :flower:

OMG Neoma! I just got off from your thread. Can YOU believe it?
BOTH of us reached the same conclusion at the same time.
WOW!
Oh Neoma. I feel the same way and have since I coloured it. I've got a love/hate relationship with my hair that's just bittersweet! :agree:I GET it. There are days when I think it looks super cool but then there are days when I just find it too dark for my liking. Its funny because I sort of had the feeling you thought your hair was too dark for your skin tone. I feel the same way.:undecided:

I saw your thread about changing back to brown but I also heed warning to you to be VERY careful with indigo. It is very unpredictable to say the least. Even Henna Soiq doesn't recommend using a conditioner gloss with henndigo because some ingredients can react with the indigo and create murky swamp water green results.
This isn't any exaggeration either. I think you are best off choosing those other alternatives like some others have mentioned that have less permanent results.
This blue red from hibiscus has undying staining power and many women would LOVE to reap these results but you and I prefer the ALL natural look. I COMPLETELY understand where you are at Neoma and whatever methods that I find that work to get rid of the colour I will share here for you and anyone else who wishes to know for now or in the future.
Gosh I really feel like a henna sister with you after all the sharing we have done over these last few months:smooch:

I wish you luck in your endeavours Neoma and a very happy holiday to you and yours:flower:

Neoma
December 24th, 2014, 10:17 AM
OMG Neoma! I just got off from your thread. Can YOU believe it?
BOTH of us reached the same conclusion at the same time.
WOW!
Oh Neoma. I feel the same way and have since I coloured it. I've got a love/hate relationship with my hair that's just bittersweet! :agree:I GET it. There are days when I think it looks super cool but then there are days when I just find it too dark for my liking. Its funny because I sort of had the feeling you thought your hair was too dark for your skin tone. I feel the same way.:undecided:

I saw your thread about changing back to brown but I also heed warning to you to be VERY careful with indigo. It is very unpredictable to say the least. Even Henna Soiq doesn't recommend using a conditioner gloss with henndigo because some ingredients can react with the indigo and create murky swamp water green results.
This isn't any exaggeration either. I think you are best off choosing those other alternatives like some others have mentioned that have less permanent results.
This blue red from hibiscus has undying staining power and many women would LOVE to reap these results but you and I prefer the ALL natural look. I COMPLETELY understand where you are at Neoma and whatever methods that I find that work to get rid of the colour I will share here for you and anyone else who wishes to know for now or in the future.
Gosh I really feel like a henna sister with you after all the sharing we have done over these last few months:smooch:

I wish you luck in your endeavours Neoma and a very happy holiday to you and yours:flower:

It certainly is interesting that we reached similar conclusions at the same time. :flower:

I have decided to avoid indigo. :scared:

I am going to try to draw some of the hibiscus out with a clay/coconut milk mask. Then I think I'll just start doing cassia/amla/henna and see what happens.

At some point, I want to "go gray." But since only about 5% of my hair is gray, doing so at this point wouldn't serve much purpose.

Thank you for your holiday well wishes. I wish the same for you and yours.

And, yes, we have become henna sisters during the past few months of hibiscus experimentation! :smooch:

Stormynights
December 24th, 2014, 11:14 AM
I never used henna so I can't comment on that, but when I stopped color I got so many negative comments. It never really bothered me that much though. I was doing it for me not them.

hennalonghair
January 6th, 2015, 09:33 AM
Henna longhair,
I'm beginning a similar transition. I have either bleached or dyed my hair since I was 15. Part of it was nonacceptance of my natural hair color (7N) and then it just became a habit that I didn't even question. But this year, after a dye disaster, I ended up with orange tinsel like hair that felt like sawdust. Deeply damaged. I've spent the last year conditioning, oiling and treating my hair very gently. Night blooming's article about repairing damaged hair on this site has been a big help to me.

I can't even think of coloring my hair because it will probably fall out.

So, this has brought me to a place where I have no choice but to go back to my natural hair color. At this point it is about 20% gray and I haven't even seen my natural color for many years. At one point I would never have even considered letting my gray hair show, I would race to cover any little gray hair that poked through. But now that it's growing out I kind a like it :) it is much more flattering to my skin tone.

And there's such a difference in texture and health between the damaged, dyed part and the virgin new growth that I really don't want to go back to coloring, even though there is a really obvious line of demarcation. Even though my hair is part orange and half mousy gray. I might use Cassia to try to blend in the top temporarily until enough grows out that I can fully transition, but I kind of think the silvers are pretty. It is a big change in mindset.

Yeah it's only hair but feels like some kind of life transition. Now that I have adjusted to it, it's okay :D
And imagine all the hours spent hair coloring now freed up from trying to cover-up hair that was just fine to begin with.....


You're going to have to grow out your entire henna. It is *difficult* to say the least. I hope you succeed, there is a great support thread for those growing out dye, so I hope you can stick to it. ... VERY DIFFICULT!


Hi there Hennalonghair! I survived growing out years of henna - its easy now you've reached that mental turning point. I had indigo and buxus in there and didn't want to mess with it (orange and green with silver would have been way worse) so I just went for the full on skunk stripe two tone loveliness for a couple of years. Having long hair helped. I could live with a band of silver spreading outwards from my hairline (ie in a bun) better than downwards from a parting. There were hard times but most of the worst is anticipation rather than reality. I do miss the effects of henna on my hair though. I'm having to learn how to deal with it all over again.
You can do it! Good luck!!


Hennalaonghair, I want to say that every time I see your hair I stop to admire it.

Yes, transitioning can be tricky nut I'm so sure it is worth it.

I don't know if you could try the same thing as me ( I don't know anything about henna) - but what I have done/am doing is -

I allowed my old colour (in my avatar) to fade and began using a new paler colour (ash blonde) in my hair. Some months ago I began transitioning from this lighter colour to show my greys. I did this by gradually giving the dye less and less time on my hair each time I did my roots. I went from 30 mins developing time to 20 minutes. At the moment I am using 10 minutes and will then go to 5 minutes, then no more dye. I have quite a few months at each development stage (I wanted to transition without an obvious demarcation line, if I could).

So it looks like this at the moment and the process is going well, I feel:

http://i1253.photobucket.com/albums/hh582/Sarahlabyrinth/DSCF6573.jpg

Anyway, all the best for your transitioning. It is an exciting time!

Ok Lapushka . You were right! Transitioning is VERY VERY difficult!
I am having a REALLY tough time with this. Yesterday I actually took some henna out if the freezer to do my roots but hours later stuck it back in the freezer . It just seems like when I keep up with the colour I actually take better care of my hair. With the grey coming in I feel like I've given up taking care of my hair.
There is such a contrast in colour. The hennaed hair looks colourful and vibrant . The silvers look super vibrant also but with the mousy ashy brown ( that's only on the top layer) the contrast is staggeringly shocking. Most of my hair is a medium brown with only 5% grey . In fact you don't see any transition line whatsoever . Too had I can't flip this around somehow.
I mean why is it that the MOST grey has to be framing my face?

One look I have seriously considered is colouring just my bangs. I have a very thick fringe at the front that at the moment hides my grey roots from a front view. I figured a could wear a bandana around my head when I go out until I have my entire head covered in natural colour . That way I could have coloured bangs and matching coloured bun. Since I wear my hair up most of the time I think this would look kind of cool but I'm just not sure I can keep this up for an entire year. With thick hair it gets really hot in the summer months.

Oh what to do,.... What to do?
So Lapushka!!!! You were RIGHT!!!!!:doh:
This is DIFFICULT is an understatement!!!!:brickwall:

Again..... Thank you ALL for such loving support. This site is the BEST ever!:cheer:

CopperSilver
January 6th, 2015, 12:26 PM
Not sure if you are looking for encouragement to stick with it, or permission to carry on with henna!!


The argument that not using henna means you are not looking after your hair won't work... you're not getting away with that one! You can always SMT, or do protein treatments or catnip rinses or even cassia and so on, so there are plenty of things to do to continue the hair treatment ritual side of things. If you meant you dont look as smart and put together, then yes, I agree things are going to be rough and you will have to lump it for months and months, but this is all good preparation, because your final transition to your natural colour will be a breeze and a relief compared to being two tone.


Maybe you're not as ready for your natural colour as you thought you were? That's ok too!*You can rock the henna colour forever if you want to. Or just delay the decision for a few more months/years. It's much easier to stick with the grow out once you reach a point where you have really really really had enough with it all. You will know when you're there.

CopperSilver
January 6th, 2015, 12:29 PM
Double post

hennalonghair
January 6th, 2015, 05:31 PM
Hi there Hennalonghair! I survived growing out years of henna - its easy now you've reached that mental turning point.There were hard times but most of the worst is anticipation rather than reality. I do miss the effects of henna on my hair though. I'm having to learn how to deal with it !


I definitely understand the mourning thing. I felt I was far too young to have grey hair and it took several years of searching for Silvers on google, hanging out on the salt and pepper thread on here, and a false start that lasted 8 weeks before I panicked and covered it again.
I like to pretend I have the silver hair of a fairy or an elf or something whimsical rather than old lady hair - this helps me - coping strategy or whatever.




I understand your sadness at leaving your colour behind - for quite a while I was battling with a kind of grief over it - it was as if I was leaving my youth behind somehow.

These days I feel that it is freedom from the tyranny of having to look youthful. Plus I can prepare to be an old lady with long stunning silver/white hair:)




Not sure if you are looking for encouragement to stick with it, or permission to carry on with henna!!

The argument that not using henna means you are not looking after your hair won't work... you're not getting away with that.


Well I wasn't looking for permission to keep using henna nor was I looking for an argument. I'm not quite sure how you came to that conclusion . :shrug:
I was simply expressing the exact SAME feelings you and everyone else goes through while transitioning :hmm::ponder::?:

lapushka
January 6th, 2015, 05:41 PM
Well, I hate to be right... so sorry! But I know what it's like to grow out dye, as I've done it several times. Dye that was darker than my ashy hair, and dye that was lighter.

If you're only 5% gray, this should be in fact "easier" for you rather than more difficult. I thought you had more gray growing out, and then the contrast can be waaay too much to handle for some.

Allie_snowflake
January 6th, 2015, 06:29 PM
I'm going thru the same thing but it was decided (on the other thread) that hibiscus just doesn't work for me. I think I'm wanting to go for the more bluish and less yellow because I want my silvers to look very silver. With the yellowish henna gloss right next to the virgin silver, I'm afraid the whole transition period will make my silvers look yellowed. The bluer tint (I'm hoping!) will make my silvers and ash gray hair sparkle a little more. My length is a color I'm happy with, just not the 4 or so inches of growth at my hairline. It's just too orange-yellow. If that new henna does go a little too dark, I'll just start transitioning again. (Besides I know my mother would LOVE my purple and silver hair! Lol!)

hennalonghair
January 7th, 2015, 04:21 AM
Well, I hate to be right... so sorry! But I know what it's like to grow out dye, as I've done it several times. Dye that was darker than my ashy hair, and dye that was lighter.

If you're only 5% gray, this should be in fact "easier" for you rather than more difficult. I thought you had more gray growing out, and then the contrast can be waaay too much to handle for some.
No Lapushka. The majority of my hair I am 5% grey(gray). There isn't much at all. The canopy has about 50% but I also have big chunky streaks that are about 90%. There's a couple at the back of my head and all the hair above my right ear is bright shiny silver grey. It actually looks very very pretty which is why I decided to grow it in.
The contrast in colours between the henna and natural hair is striking. At first I thought it was ugly and hideous but I just coloured my bangs last night and the contrast looks awesome.
I'm actually looking forward to this journey now.:cheer:

hennalonghair
January 7th, 2015, 04:54 AM
I'm going thru the same thing but it was decided (on the other thread) that hibiscus just doesn't work for me. I think I'm wanting to go for the more bluish and less yellow because I want my silvers to look very silver. With the yellowish henna gloss right next to the virgin silver, I'm afraid the whole transition period will make my silvers look yellowed. The bluer tint (I'm hoping!) will make my silvers and ash gray hair sparkle a little more. My length is a color I'm happy with, just not the 4 or so inches of growth at my hairline. It's just too orange-yellow. If that new henna does go a little too dark, I'll just start transitioning again. (Besides I know my mother would LOVE my purple and silver hair! Lol!)
Hey Allie_snowflake!
I do understand exactly where you are coming from. That's why I chose this cherry red colour to begin with. Natural copper / red/ orange has suited me very nicely since I've used it In fact my hennaed hair looked quite natural until recently since I've gotten more silver. My hennaed hair would look nice until I'd got new hair growth. Since I had so much pure silver the henna had no pigment to stick to so would show up bright orange which was nice also BUT beside the silver, it didnt. I was game for having natural looking hennaed hair but the orange just looked hideous right beside the bright shiny silvers.
Since I had planned to grow in my natural coloured hair then it no longer mattered whether my hair was a natural looking colour any more. Clearly it wasnt which is why I went for the cherry cola red. Believe it or not THIS colour looks awesome in contrast with the silvers.. What I decided to do with my bangs or fringe is colour it the same as my length. That way the two colours tie together. THIS has made a HUGE difference. I mean I can grow out my fringe out any time. I might as well have it work for me while I transition.
So I get exactly what you mean. PLUS the best part is .... It takes about 1 tbsp of henna. I don't have to wait for dye rekease. I just mix a heaping tbsp with water , mix and apply to the roots of my bangs. I cover my other hair with plastic and wait an hour. Poof! Its done! Wash just my bangs. OMG! Its easy breezy and looks cool:happydance:
I couldn't be more pleased.
Plus I joined the Gray Cafe which is a forum dedicated strictly to silver/ grey !!!!
Its REALLY cool.
Yeah I'm ok with this now. Like the rest of group here, the hardest part is getting USED TO the beginning stages of the transition.
I just had to revisit the IDEA of WHY I transitioned to a completely different henna colour in the first place and THIS was precisely why. The silvers look much nicer beside the blue red than orange red.
I'm doing it!!!!
I'm transitioning and embracing it ALL just fine.
YAYYYYY!:cheer:
Thanks Allie. You're a sweetie pie. See ya in our other thread:thumbsup:

Wildcat Diva
January 7th, 2015, 06:29 AM
Well I wasn't looking for permission to keep using henna nor was I looking for an argument. I'm not quite sure how you came to that conclusion . :shrug:
I was simply expressing the exact SAME feelings you and everyone else goes through while transitioning :hmm::ponder::?:

I am not coppersilver, but I think I can explain the "argument" comment. In the comment she made, argument is used like making a point, a belief (thought), a position, an opinion or view on which a person could have feelings about, and then act.

A thought, opinion, view, or belief is not the same as a feeling. However MANY people use the word "feel" when they mean "think." It's really common. But the reality is, it's a thought, not a feeling. The thought, expressed through your words:
"With the grey coming in I feel like I've given up taking care of my hair", could be seen as an argument, a belief that could be getting in your way and upsetting you. A friend might want to mention that that way of thinking might be problematic , and try to poke around a bit and try to help see if that is something you might want to consider adjusting. I'll admit it caught my attention.

I thought, when I read your words, that this represented maybe an irrational belief that was holding you back: "With the grey coming in, ... {this means that} I've given up taking care of my hair." Bracketed words are mine. I took out "I feel like", because I want to show this is not a feeling, it's an opinion or belief, not in itself an emotion like hopelessness. The opinion or interpretation is what happens FIRST, and then leads to emotion after that. "I feel like" is used in your statement to, I believe, express a thought and not a feeling. Thoughts can be irrational sometimes, and cause us problems with our feelings in a way that can be changed if we so desire. A friend could tell you, "of course you have not given up on your hair just because you see greys. You can still take wonderful care of it in other ways besides using henna."

Anyway, I took the comment made as an intended helpful critique of a belief, not an attack on your feelings. Hope that interpretation helps in some way.

hennalonghair
January 7th, 2015, 07:00 AM
I think the hardest and most important thing about transitioning is that you actually have to 'want' to transition into silver and like others have mentioned, its a mindset. You need to have the ability to look beyond what your hair might presently look like to where you wish to be , hold onto that vision and make a hair long term hair PLAN.*
Well that moment finally solidified itself last night. After colouring my bangs (fringe ) to match my length, I had a really good look at the results and embraced them fully. My shiny silvers look fabulous against the blue red I now have. The contrast in colours (in my opinion) looks attractive and I made my long term plan.
The last time I tried growing in my silvers I had red/ orange hair and the contrast in colours did not look attractive to me. Plus a few years ago I didn't have the knowledge or hair toys to keep my hair up comfortably so had to wear it down a lot. This style just amplified the two tones as others have mentioned.
Now, thanks to this community, I have the proper hair toys and know how to accomplish this. This in itself is a huge game changer. Since my length isn't damaged at all and my goal length is classic, I'm planning on keeping the hennaed coloured portion of my hair. I'd like to have 2/3rds silver/ natural colour with 1/3rd cherry cola red like my bangs. Im not planning on using cassia or anything on my silvers as I want them as pure as can be. Once this colour no longer suites me then I will grow it out.
The coloured bangs in the front satisfies my desire to blend in the look of the two colours while still fulfilling my need for a consistent hair routine. My bangs can be grown out at any time during my long term hair plan so NOW I am: Embracing my grays gracefully!!!"


The feedback I got from the thread was very helpful so I'd like to thank you all for your help.*
I hope that this thread helps anyone else who is at that transitioning threshold .

Wildcat Diva
January 7th, 2015, 07:17 AM
Yes! You had an "aha" moment. This is great! Absolutely, it takes a shift in mindset to adjust more positively to what you see. Just like many of us who have come to think certain thoughts about other aspects of hair in general, like changing our opinions on beauty of length of hair (it isn't always jealousy that sparks negative comments on long hair), fairy tale ends as a desired hemline, or the attractiveness of buns or whatnot.

I'm glad your shift in thinking on your natural hair is making you happier.

hennalonghair
January 7th, 2015, 07:18 AM
I am not coppersilver, but I think I can explain the "argument" comment. In the comment she made, argument is used like making a point, a belief (thought), a position, an opinion or view on which a person could have feelings about, and then act.

A thought, opinion, view, or belief is not the same as a feeling. However MANY people use the word "feel" when they mean "think." It's really common. But the reality is, it's a thought, not a feeling. The thought, expressed through your words:
"With the grey coming in I feel like I've given up taking care of my hair", could be seen as an argument, a belief that could be getting in your way and upsetting you. A friend might want to mention that that way of thinking might be problematic , and try to poke around a bit and try to help see if that is something you might want to consider adjusting. I'll admit it caught my attention.

I thought, when I read your words, that this represented maybe an irrational belief that was holding you back: "With the grey coming in, ... {this means that} I've given up taking care of my hair." Bracketed words are mine. I took out "I feel like", because I want to show this is not a feeling, it's an opinion or belief, not in itself an emotion like hopelessness. The opinion or interpretation is what happens FIRST, and then leads to emotion after that. "I feel like" is used in your statement to, I believe, express a thought and not a feeling. Thoughts can be irrational sometimes, and cause us problems with our feelings in a way that can be changed if we so desire. A friend could tell you, "of course you have not given up on your hair just because you see greys. You can still take wonderful care of it in other ways besides using henna."

Anyway, I took the comment made as an intended helpful critique of a belief, not an attack on your feelings. Hope that interpretation helps in some way.

Thank you for your well written Freudian interpretation Wildcat Diva. :lol:
No I didn't feel attacked in the least. Perhaps like yourself at first , a bit confused is all:shrug:
I can understand how my privious post might have been viewed as a cope out way of giving up on this transitioning. For sure:thumbsup: but it wasnt. It truly was just a feeling from my thoughts at the present moment. Luckily thoughts are like clouds that pass. :D

hennalonghair
January 7th, 2015, 07:34 AM
Yes! You had an "aha" moment. This is great! Absolutely, it takes a shift in mindset to adjust more positively to what you see. Just like many of us who have come to think certain thoughts about other aspects of hair in general, like changing our opinions on beauty of length of hair (it isn't always jealousy that sparks negative comments on long hair), fairy tale ends as a desired hemline, or the attractiveness of buns or whatnot.

I'm glad your shift in thinking on your natural hair is making you happier.

Absolutely:thumbsup:
Thanks Wildcat Diva :flowers:

Allie_snowflake
January 7th, 2015, 09:26 AM
Yay! Glad you're loving your new color hennalonghair!!! you had me worried for a little bit since I'm WANTING the bluer tones. I think I have quite a bit more silver than you (more evenly dispursed anyway) and the mousy ash "silver" is very cool (in color & style lol!) and dominates my crown. It took a while to see that ashy gray as a nice shiny silver so I don't want to lose that association because of my old henna :) I can't wait to get my henna guys stash on Friday!

swearnsue
January 7th, 2015, 10:29 AM
I stopped henna cold turkey in May 2014. When I turned 60 the dark henna just didn't look right. Here are some things I do to blend the silver and henna:
I made a paranda with yarn that is multi colored with red/browns to medium browns to grays. When I braid this in it blends the hair colors nicely. When I bought the yarn I brought a small hand mirror with me to the store and actually held the yarn up to my head as I found the exact right colors.
If you can French braid all the better, but I can twist by hair from front to along the side and then clip in place. The twisting or braiding blends the colors. It's especially nice on the side where I have more silver.
My hair grows at different rates on different parts of my head, so what looks like a sever line demarcation at month 1 and 2, softens by month 3 and onward. I had a shed a while back and the "old" hair that was hennaed shed more, leaving more silver showing. Not that shedding is good, just showing that going natural works out for the best.

CopperSilver
January 7th, 2015, 10:49 AM
I am not coppersilver, but I think I can explain the "argument" comment. In the comment she made, argument is used like making a point, a belief (thought), a position, an opinion or view on which a person could have feelings about, and then act.

A thought, opinion, view, or belief is not the same as a feeling. However MANY people use the word "feel" when they mean "think." It's really common. But the reality is, it's a thought, not a feeling. The thought, expressed through your words:
"With the grey coming in I feel like I've given up taking care of my hair", could be seen as an argument, a belief that could be getting in your way and upsetting you. A friend might want to mention that that way of thinking might be problematic , and try to poke around a bit and try to help see if that is something you might want to consider adjusting. I'll admit it caught my attention.

I thought, when I read your words, that this represented maybe an irrational belief that was holding you back: "With the grey coming in, ... {this means that} I've given up taking care of my hair." Bracketed words are mine. I took out "I feel like", because I want to show this is not a feeling, it's an opinion or belief, not in itself an emotion like hopelessness. The opinion or interpretation is what happens FIRST, and then leads to emotion after that. "I feel like" is used in your statement to, I believe, express a thought and not a feeling. Thoughts can be irrational sometimes, and cause us problems with our feelings in a way that can be changed if we so desire. A friend could tell you, "of course you have not given up on your hair just because you see greys. You can still take wonderful care of it in other ways besides using henna."

Anyway, I took the comment made as an intended helpful critique of a belief, not an attack on your feelings. Hope that interpretation helps in some way.

I am in a different time zone and have only just seen this! Hennalonghair, I'm so glad Wildcat Diva was able to explain on my behalf. My post came from a totally supportive and friendly place and was meant to be helpful, not mean. I'm sorry you were confused.

hennalonghair
January 8th, 2015, 10:25 AM
Yay! Glad you're loving your new color hennalonghair!!! you had me worried for a little bit since I'm WANTING the bluer tones. I think I have quite a bit more silver than you (more evenly dispursed anyway) and the mousy ash "silver" is very cool (in color & style lol!) and dominates my crown. It took a while to see that ashy gray as a nice shiny silver so I don't want to lose that association because of my old henna :) I can't wait to get my henna guys stash on Friday!
Hey Allie_snow_flake. I've got the deep red from them and it covers greys very well and quickly too.thats the reason why I transitioned to that colour because IMO the blue red complimented the silver much better than the orange red. And if you're doing henna glosses the orange red just kinda bleeds a yellow orange if too diluted. Anyway that's our other thread.
I'm glad there are others transitioning from henna because it is a bit different than other coloring methods.


I stopped henna cold turkey in May 2014. When I turned 60 the dark henna just didn't look right. Here are some things I do to blend the silver and henna:
I made a paranda with yarn that is multi colored with red/browns to medium browns to grays. When I braid this in it blends the hair colors nicely. When I bought the yarn I brought a small hand mirror with me to the store and actually held the yarn up to my head as I found the exact right colors.
If you can French braid all the better, but I can twist by hair from front to along the side and then clip in place. The twisting or braiding blends the colors. It's especially nice on the side where I have more silver.
My hair grows at different rates on different parts of my head, so what looks like a sever line demarcation at month 1 and 2, softens by month 3 and onward. I had a shed a while back and the "old" hair that was hennaed shed more, leaving more silver showing. Not that shedding is good, just showing that going natural works out for the best.
That's an awesome idea. I've seen so many of the ladies here wearing them and I've never seen them anywhere. So you Knit these out of yarn? Are they ever made from other materials because I'm not so great at knitting. I'm going to do a google search because I think I like this idea much better than the cotton bandana. My hair needs to breathe. The idea of actually going in and matching the colours to your hair is just perfect. I think when we colours in general that match , it looks more visually appealing. Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a really helpful.

I am in a different time zone and have only just seen this! Hennalonghair, I'm so glad Wildcat Diva was able to explain on my behalf. My post came from a totally supportive and friendly place and was meant to be helpful, not mean. I'm sorry you were confused.
No worries Coppersilver. I may have heen temporally a big baffled but I knew your intentions were meant to help or you wouldn't have posted. So thank you. It actually DID help a lot because I honestly had to stop justifying why I wasn't fully committed. I've seriously had my fill of vibrantly coloured hair. Perhaps aging does that but I just want to tone it down. For someone who doesn't want to stand out in a crowd, they hennaed hair wasn't helping any. I'm looking forward to NOT having all
that attention. I want to blend in for a softer more subtle sophisticated look like stormy, some of you others currenty have. as well as Sarahlabyrinth . ( I doubt that even a trained hairdresser could have done as good a colour transition as you have. Its seamless.) I wish I could do something like that but I just have to bite the bullet grin and bare it.

It felt great having a bath today and spontaneously deciding to wash my hair. There's no worry about stripping my colour out. Yayyyyy. I love that! :D

GlassWidow
January 8th, 2015, 11:52 AM
This is a great thread, though unfortunately I need to come back and read it more closely when I have more time. I wanted to say congratulations, hennalonghair, on your decision to embrace the current version of yourself. It certainly sounds as if it's been liberating! Habit is hard to break, and if you're anything like me, you'll probably dig that henna out of the freezer a few more times, but not use it. :lol:

I think this will end up being a great thread for people who are close to reaching their turning point, too. There's so many pretty heads of hair on display, and a lot of lovely encouragement going on. I'm enjoying reading it, so far!

I'll add more later, but I wanted to mention that I stopped henna about two years ago. As the silvers became more pronounced, I was feeling really down about my hair - I wasn't coloring it, and it didn't have much shape/style because I stopped using heat on it. I decided I needed to do something, and went to talk with my friend's hair stylist. She showed me that the majority of my grays are in the under-layers and around my hairline, and suggested bangs/fringe to help blend the darker and lighter, as well as to give me some style definition. It made all the difference in the world, for me. I love the sparkly silver that pops through!

Sarahlabyrinth
January 8th, 2015, 01:09 PM
Hey Allie_snow_flake. I've got the deep red from them and it covers greys very well and quickly too.thats the reason why I transitioned to that colour because IMO the blue red complimented the silver much better than the orange red. And if you're doing henna glosses the orange red just kinda bleeds a yellow orange if too diluted. Anyway that's our other thread.
I'm glad there are others transitioning from henna because it is a bit different than other coloring methods.


That's an awesome idea. I've seen so many of the ladies here wearing them and I've never seen them anywhere. So you Knit these out of yarn? Are they ever made from other materials because I'm not so great at knitting. I'm going to do a google search because I think I like this idea much better than the cotton bandana. My hair needs to breathe. The idea of actually going in and matching the colours to your hair is just perfect. I think when we colours in general that match , it looks more visually appealing. Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a really helpful.

No worries Coppersilver. I may have heen temporally a big baffled but I knew your intentions were meant to help or you wouldn't have posted. So thank you. It actually DID help a lot because I honestly had to stop justifying why I wasn't fully committed. I've seriously had my fill of vibrantly coloured hair. Perhaps aging does that but I just want to tone it down. For someone who doesn't want to stand out in a crowd, they hennaed hair wasn't helping any. I'm looking forward to NOT having all
that attention. I want to blend in for a softer more subtle sophisticated look like stormy, some of you others currenty have. as well as Sarahlabyrinth . ( I doubt that even a trained hairdresser could have done as good a colour transition as you have. Its seamless.) I wish I could do something like that but I just have to bite the bullet grin and bare it.

It felt great having a bath today and spontaneously deciding to wash my hair. There's no worry about stripping my colour out. Yayyyyy. I love that! :D

Thank you, hennalonghair. Wouldn't my method work with henna? I'm sure it could be done.... over a year or two. Still working on my transitioning, it could take another year or two for me before I stop using dye altogether.

Allie_snowflake
January 8th, 2015, 02:53 PM
How long do you go between color applications sarahlabrynth? Yours is so gradual.

I don't think I have the patience! I've been diluting henna for about 6 months but the normal "red orange" henna that hennalonghair was trying to move away from turns really yellow as it is diluted. Doesn't look very good at all. I'm going to use the henna she spoke about because it has a cooler tone. I'm hoping my grays look more natural with the cooler tones. I've just been decreasing the henna with each 6 week root job. It does transition ok but it's definitely not as gradual as yours!

ETA: I see that you stay with the same color/processing time for a few months so I guess what I'm asking is if you do your roots every 3-4 weeks or once every two months or so. Since henna is kind of cumulative I wonder if using your method would cause the older henna to darken too much and cancel out the transition. It's hard to do JUST the roots and not hit any of the previously hennaed hair. (I hope that makes sense.... I just kind of rambled!)

Sarahlabyrinth
January 8th, 2015, 03:12 PM
I do my roots every 6-8 weeks, whenever I feel it's time. I'm sure your greys will look more natural with the cooler tones. I do maybe 10-12 months of applications allowing the dye to stay on for 10 minutes (still doing this phase at the moment), then I will move on to doing 10-12 months of just leaving the dye on for 5 minutes, then I should be able to go totally dye free and not have an obvious demarcation line. I want it to look as if my hair just gradually began greying.

It might seem like a long time, two years or so, but what is 2 years out of a lifetime, especially if you can get a good result out of it? Besides, nothing happens quickly in hairland, right?:) Patience required.... actually I am enjoying the process and I was unsure if I would.

Also if I can manage it smoothly and with no demarcation line, I won't feel the need to do a major chop to remove the dyed hair, it should all just gradually and naturally blend. That's my theory anyway:) So I get to keep my length.

ETA: I am looking forward to seeing my own colour again after 30 years of dye. I'm sure my hair has its own variations and highlights for me to appreciate. Also I think long silver hair is so pretty!

Allie_snowflake
January 8th, 2015, 03:27 PM
Patience is definitely required! Your transition is definitely beautiful and very subtle! I have a feeling if I use your approach with the cooler henna, I'd end up going from purple to lavender to pink and then to gray.... Looks kinda neat in my mind but probably not so great on a 42 year old. I'd be 50 with punk hair! (I guess it's better than old lady blue hair... :cool: )


ETA: iPad changed pink to punk but both work!

Sarahlabyrinth
January 8th, 2015, 03:34 PM
Hahahahahaha! Yes I suppose henna might work differently:) Lavender, pink and silver would actually look great together.... My SIL has silver and purple hair and it looks amazing.

Allie_snowflake
January 8th, 2015, 04:59 PM
Wow! I'd love to see purple and silver together.

My experiments will hopefully start this weekend. My burgundy henna should be in by Saturday. I'm hoping to get results like hennalonghair but haven't had luck with hibiscus powder to cool off my orange. I'm also going to try and stretch out my henna glosses. We shall see how much patience I actually have!

hennalonghair
January 9th, 2015, 08:24 AM
This is a great thread, though unfortunately I need to come back and read it more closely when I have more time. I wanted to say congratulations, hennalonghair, on your decision to embrace the current version of yourself. It certainly sounds as if it's been liberating! Habit is hard to break, and if you're anything like me, you'll probably dig that henna out of the freezer a few more times, but not use it. :lol:

I think this will end up being a great thread for people who are close to reaching their turning point, too. There's so many pretty heads of hair on display, and a lot of lovely encouragement going on. I'm enjoying reading it, so far!

I'll add more later, but I wanted to mention that I stopped henna about two years ago. As the silvers became more pronounced, I was feeling really down about my hair - I wasn't coloring it, and it didn't have much shape/style because I stopped using heat on it. I decided I needed to do something, and went to talk with my friend's hair stylist. She showed me that the majority of my grays are in the under-layers and around my hairline, and suggested bangs/fringe to help blend the darker and lighter, as well as to give me some style definition. It made all the difference in the world, for me. I love the sparkly silver that pops through!
Hey glass widow. Thanks for contributing to this thread. It is difficult transitioning and I am hoping that this thread helps any others trying to do the same. That was great that your hairdresser found a solution that works for you. My hair is greyest around the hair framing my face but there's barely any out the back. I've got lots of silver on the top canopy which I hated all these years but now I'm beginning to LOVE it and can't wait for it to come in.

Thank you, hennalonghair. Wouldn't my method work with henna? I'm sure it could be done.... over a year or two. Still working on my transitioning, it could take another year or two for me before I stop using dye altogether.


How long do you go between color applications sarahlabrynth? Yours is so gradual.

I don't think I have the patience! I've been diluting henna for about 6 months but the normal "red orange" henna that hennalonghair was trying to move away from turns really yellow as it is diluted. Doesn't look very good at all. I'm going to use the henna she spoke about because it has a cooler tone. I'm hoping my grays look more natural with the cooler tones. I've just been decreasing the henna with each 6 week root job. It does transition ok but it's definitely not as gradual as yours!

ETA: I see that you stay with the same color/processing time for a few months so I guess what I'm asking is if you do your roots every 3-4 weeks or once every two months or so. Since henna is kind of cumulative I wonder if using your method would cause the older henna to darken too much and cancel out the transition. It's hard to do JUST the roots and not hit any of the previously hennaed hair. (I hope that makes sense.... I just kind of rambled!)


Patience is definitely required! Your transition is definitely beautiful and very subtle! I have a feeling if I use your approach with the cooler henna, I'd end up going from purple to lavender to pink and then to gray.... Looks kinda neat in my mind but probably not so great on a 42 year old. I'd be 50 with punk hair! (I guess it's better than old lady blue hair... :cool: )


ETA: iPad changed pink to punk but both work!


Hahahahahaha! Yes I suppose henna might work differently:) Lavender, pink and silver would actually look great together.... My SIL has silver and purple hair and it looks amazing.


Wow! I'd love to see purple and silver together.

My experiments will hopefully start this weekend. My burgundy henna should be in by Saturday. I'm hoping to get results like hennalonghair but haven't had luck with hibiscus powder to cool off my orange. I'm also going to try and stretch out my henna glosses. We shall see how much patience I actually have!

hennalonghair
January 9th, 2015, 08:25 AM
Good luck with your new colour Allie_snowflake

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 08:50 AM
Ok some of you didn't think I'd follow through with this but so far I've got about an inch or so of silver grays I'm proudly showing off. Oddly enough I am loving my cherry cola coloured hair more than ever now.
One thing I am REALLY REALLY missing is the conditioning effects of the henna. My hair just does much better using henna . I think it's probably because I also used Godrej Nupur henna that has 9 beneficial herbs and added my own EO's to it. My scalp was the healthiest it's ever been and a healthy scalp=healthy hair so I'm going to have to come up with a good scalp treatment pack that has similar properties of henna without the colour. I don't wish to use cassia since it does leave a golden yellowish hue. This would be great for people with either blonde hair , dark hair or if you have little to no gray.
My grays look like the silver tinsel you put on Christmas trees. It's so pretty and I'd like to keep it pure.
Another great thing is since I've joined LHC I've learned how to keep my hair UP with various hair toys which makes this transitioning MUCH easier than the last time I tried it.
I'm still planning on colouring my bangs just to bring the two colours together. Then I'll probably add a few steaks to my bangs before I completely grow them out.
My only concern now is how my hair will look in the spring and summer when I leave it down to dry on wash day BUT I'm sure I'll manage. I'm still living and breathing and enjoying life which is the most important thing to me.
In other words ,..... My happiness.

I think I need to stay off my " cherry cola/burgundy henna" thread for a while because it was sooo tempting to just pack it in and COLOUR but I stayed strong. :D

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 08:53 AM
Btw.... Today is my birthday. I'm official 55!

Hele
February 4th, 2015, 09:17 AM
happy birthday hennalonghair! :gift::cake::pizza: (ha, the pizza's for me, i'm not big on cake..but you can have a slice!)

i've been going increasingly white in the front and along the sides over the past year, i'm quite happy with it! At first i was really concerned with how visible it was getting because i've worked "appearances count" jobs for so long but i decided i'd rather look like myself, if that makes any sense. In all honesty i never thought i'd live to see 30, let alone be a few years from 40 (grim sounding i know, but i've had a crazy life) so i'm rather proud of my age and the whites coming in with it!

Stormynights
February 4th, 2015, 10:47 AM
Happy Birthday. I think the colored bangs is a good idea for the transition.

Neoma
February 4th, 2015, 12:05 PM
Ok some of you didn't think I'd follow through with this but so far I've got about an inch or so of silver grays I'm proudly showing off. Oddly enough I am loving my cherry cola coloured hair more than ever now.
One thing I am REALLY REALLY missing is the conditioning effects of the henna. My hair just does much better using henna . I think it's probably because I also used Godrej Nupur henna that has 9 beneficial herbs and added my own EO's to it. My scalp was the healthiest it's ever been and a healthy scalp=healthy hair so I'm going to have to come up with a good scalp treatment pack that has similar properties of henna without the colour. I don't wish to use cassia since it does leave a golden yellowish hue. This would be great for people with either blonde hair , dark hair or if you have little to no gray.
My grays look like the silver tinsel you put on Christmas trees. It's so pretty and I'd like to keep it pure.
Another great thing is since I've joined LHC I've learned how to keep my hair UP with various hair toys which makes this transitioning MUCH easier than the last time I tried it.
I'm still planning on colouring my bangs just to bring the two colours together. Then I'll probably add a few steaks to my bangs before I completely grow them out.
My only concern now is how my hair will look in the spring and summer when I leave it down to dry on wash day BUT I'm sure I'll manage. I'm still living and breathing and enjoying life which is the most important thing to me.
In other words ,..... My happiness.

I think I need to stay off my " cherry cola/burgundy henna" thread for a while because it was sooo tempting to just pack it in and COLOUR but I stayed strong. :D

Happy Birthday, hennalonghair! :cake:

I'm really glad that you're enjoying the transition. I, too, love those silver tinsel hairs. I think that if they weren't associated with age, people would pay to go silver.

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 12:09 PM
happy birthday hennalonghair! :gift::cake::pizza: (ha, the pizza's for me, i'm not big on cake..but you can have a slice!)

i've been going increasingly white in the front and along the sides over the past year, i'm quite happy with it! At first i was really concerned with how visible it was getting because i've worked "appearances count" jobs for so long but i decided i'd rather look like myself, if that makes any sense. In all honesty i never thought i'd live to see 30, let alone be a few years from 40 (grim sounding i know, but i've had a crazy life) so i'm rather proud of my age and the whites coming in with it!
Ummm pizzaaaaa! Love that stuff.
Thank you Hele. Listen I think your plan is a better plan than having to grow out coloured hair. When hennaing I just never looked ahead to see how I'd feel when I started going gray but now I have and even though the colour still looks good on me, I don't want to wait until IT doesn't before growing it out. (If you know what I mean)
DH hubby keeps telling me that he doesn't know what I'm worried about because the colour really suites me but he doesn't get that I want the long silvers 'before I get to that stage."
I honestly think that silver is my next favourite colour after this cherry cola red so I'm quite happy.

I understand the "being surprised you've made it this far " feelng. My life has been FAR from normal.
(chomps down some pizza and smiles)
Thank you!


Happy Birthday. I think the colored bangs is a good idea for the transition.

Yeah me too. I think I'd feel far too pale without having a bit of colour around my face and besides which then people will know its a purposeful transitioning not just that I'm too lazy to colour my hair.
Thanks stormy.

To my best friends on the board :beerchug:
I don't drink but it looked cute :D

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 12:20 PM
Happy Birthday, hennalonghair! :cake:

I'm really glad that you're enjoying the transition. I, too, love those silver tinsel hairs. I think that if they weren't associated with age, people would pay to go silver.
Ohh its Neoma:cheer: :waving:
Thank you very much for the birthday wishes. This is sort of more special than 50 because now I am truly embracing the fact that I'm aging and so is my body and I am totally ok with it.
I proudly walk down the street with my silvers showing and don't really care much what others think.
Isn't it funny how we both believe things happen for a reason and THIS was the reason . Silver hair is stunningly beautiful AND people ARE paying for it. Many of the stars are dying their hair gray/silver this year. It's VERY fashionable to be gray so I believe we couldn't have picked a better year to be gray.
We aren't growing OUT our hennaed hair.......
We are merely growing IN our silvers. :happydance:
My henna/silver head sistah!!:flowers:

Gosh posting right now is almost impossible on my new phone.:hmm:

cathair
February 4th, 2015, 12:53 PM
Happy birthday! Just stopped by to cheer you on and offer you some white hair solidarity good wishes :cheer: you can do it! You said you liked the attention your thick red hair brought, I am sure you will get more with transitioning hair! In a good way. It will be like a 'reverse KittyBird' and she has fabulous hair :)

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 01:04 PM
Happy birthday! Just stopped by to cheer you on and offer you some white hair solidarity good wishes :cheer: you can do it! You said you liked the attention your thick red hair brought, I am sure you will get more with transitioning hair! In a good way. It will be like a 'reverse KittyBird' and she has fabulous hair :)

Thank you sooo much!
A reverse OMBRE !!!!
I know. Right! :cheer:
And I love love love Kittybirds hair.
She's my flexi clip hero! :D

lapushka
February 4th, 2015, 02:21 PM
Btw.... Today is my birthday. I'm official 55!

Congrats, and hang in there. The more silver hair grows out, the easier it's going to get!

hennalonghair
February 4th, 2015, 05:21 PM
Congrats, and hang in there. The more silver hair grows out, the easier it's going to get!

Thanks Lapushka. I agree that the more silver I have the easier this will be but I really needed a change.
This is the change I needed. As soon as I can post pics I will.

Neoma
February 5th, 2015, 11:08 AM
The past year or so, I hennaed every few weeks, so I haven't seen any significant roots for a long time.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I was sick of my burgundy hair (henna and hibiscus), and I started growing out my natural color. The last time I had roots, I had 5% or less gray. Now, it's at least twice that much.

My grays are a gorgeous, shiny tinsel silver. I'm looking forward to watching them take over!

KittyBird
February 11th, 2015, 12:58 PM
Happy birthday! Just stopped by to cheer you on and offer you some white hair solidarity good wishes :cheer: you can do it! You said you liked the attention your thick red hair brought, I am sure you will get more with transitioning hair! In a good way. It will be like a 'reverse KittyBird' and she has fabulous hair :)


Thank you sooo much!
A reverse OMBRE !!!!
I know. Right! :cheer:
And I love love love Kittybirds hair.
She's my flexi clip hero! :D

:heartbeat :flowers: You two are so sweet! :o