Newbie to this board and frustrated :( need advice plz

[SunnySideMia]

Hi I am new to this board and happened to bump into it when doing a "how to grow hair long" search on goggle. I had started the process of growing my hair out 5 months ago. I needed a trim and went to my usual stylist and told him trim off 1 inch no more than that. He asked me do you like your length and I said YES! Remember I am growing out my hair I reminded him. One hour later and I was a head full of layers EVERYWHERE! I was so crushed I started crying in the chair:wail:. He said, "Darling you hair was heavy in the back and needed to be made lighter" :steam. Ummm I like my heavy hair! Now I don't know if to just cut my hair all one length and start over or just tough it out and grow it out? My shortest layer hits my collarbone.

Long hair gals I know you would know what to do and make some suggestions. I am am all EARS!:(

[SunnySideMia]

Sorry here is a pic of my hair now. I usually wear it straight, but being so disappointed I have been wearing it in a bun makes it super wavy. Thanks again!

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b115/SophiaChanel126/Hairlength9_26_08.jpg

[Shanarana]

I personally think the layers look nice on you and there are members here who do wear layers. I had them myself and liked them they would bring out waves and curls. You can always just grow them out, but in the meantime enjoy your hair now because it really looks good.

Actually looking at your hair is making me want to go for layers again. It is not a bad look at all.

[winter_star]

Welcome to LHC SunnySideMia! I know you are having a tough time with your hair at the moment, but I really think it looks lovely! It's very thick and healthy looking and the layes define your waves.

You'll probably find many people here can identify with you and have been in the same situation before. I don't think you should chop it all off, you'll be un-happier and have to start all over again. Grow the layers out and keep your length.

[LisaJaney]

Don't cut to get rid of the layers, your hair looks wonderful as-is. IF you want to get rid of the layers, just do a half-inch cut every two or three months and it'll get rid of them without costing you a major setback. I have layers and LOVE them; there is no rule that says "in order for your hair to be considered LONG, you have to have all one length", although people tend to believe that for some reason. Oh, and there is no race-to-the-floor. You do what works for you and for YOUR hair, don't compare your hair (your GENES) to what someone else has, and you'll be a WHOLE lot happier. Just because "ShirlyT" has all-one-length, never uses silicones (cones) on her hair, likes to wear a Frenchtwist every day" doesn't mean that works for you or for me. And, what's MORE, we don't have to feel guilty because we don't like FrenchTwists, nor do we have to feel guilt because we LIKE cones from time to time. Not liking Frenchtwists, or LIKING cones, does not mean we're wrong. It means that for OUR hair, something else works. So try what you want, keep what works and throw the other stuff out. ANd yeah "the other stuff" means routines, but it also means guilt over liking something for your hair that someone else thinks is awful. It seems every new person (me included, I did it too) feels like they need to go "no cones". For some it works, and for others it's a dismal failure, but still they try and try, and their hair is SCREAMING for another product, but they've just GOT to be no-cone because it works for ShirlyT... It's like they feel inferior because they have to use cones. Silly, when you think of it. Don't feel inferior because your hair needs something that someone else's hair doesn't. Don't feel somehow less-a-person because your hair has layers if it WORKS for your hair. Use the info here that WORKS for you, and to heck with the rest, even the guilt.

Hope that helps. I wish someone would've told ME that years ago. ;) Oh, and welcome to the site! We're not a bad lot, really. I personally think we're the best darn site and best darn collection of folks that the internet has to offer, but I'm biased because I am just NUTS about these crazy people. :inlove:

[bunnii]

Welcome to LHC!! :cheer: First of all I don't think you have to get rid of your layers, your picture is lovely and the layers make the waves look even better :) My bun waves never look that nice lol I still can't figure it out :silly:

Shanarana's right aswell, because I have layers, and the only reason i'm growing them out is because I hate salons lol well that and it's expensive, I could be spending that money on chocolate :D

[SunnySideMia]

Shanarana, Winter Star and Lisa Janey you ladies have certainly put a smile on my face this morning! :cheese: I sure needed it. I will grow it out :). I avoid the hair dryer unless for a special event. I air dry, deep condition 2x a week and baby my hair. My hair loves silicones, I have tried going organic and my hair just wouldn't stop falling out. I switched back to cones and instantly it stopped. ;) My next question are protein treatments worth it or is deep conditioning just as good?
Thank you again!!

[SunnySideMia]

Welcome to LHC!! :cheer: First of all I don't think you have to get rid of your layers, your picture is lovely and the layers make the waves look even better :) My bun waves never look that nice lol I still can't figure it out :silly:

Shanarana's right aswell, because I have layers, and the only reason i'm growing them out is because I hate salons lol well that and it's expensive, I could be spending that money on chocolate :D


Thank you! I love reading all the post and wished I had found this forum sooner :). You are not lying about the cost of going to a salon it's crazy! I'm even crazier for paying for it! No more I am staying away from them from now on and just treating my hair like a baby ultra carefully ;) Your hair is gorgeous! Everyone here has gorgeous hair :joy:

[LisaJaney]

Depends on your hair, with the protein treatments. My hair HATED proteins (yeah, I had to try THAT, too, in order to feel like a person who gave a crap about their hair :rolleyes: ) so that was no good for me. Well, let me take that back. My hair doesn't mind egg, but it HATED some protein conditioners I tried. Some peoples' hair gets dry or crunchy (strawlike?) with them. Give it a try and see, and IF it's what your hair wants/needs, it'll be great. If not, no harm no foul, just try something else later. Give your hair a few weeks to test something, and only try one thing at a time, but...

I personally really like deep-conditioning the best, but that's probably because my hair's protein-phobic. :silly: If my hair was a protein-lover, I'd be singing the opposite tune. :whistle:

[bunnii]

Thank you! I love reading all the post and wished I had found this forum sooner :). You are not lying about the cost of going to a salon it's crazy! I'm even crazier for paying for it! No more I am staying away from them from now on and just treating my hair like a baby ultra carefully ;) Your hair is gorgeous! Everyone here has gorgeous hair :joy:

Awww thank you :D yep, everyone here has stunning hair, very inspiring.

I never done a protein treatment, ther other day I did a deep condition with olive oil added to the mix and warmed up, my hair loved that. I 've been meaning to try egg but i'm too lazy at the moment lol. LisaJaney has it sussed I think When I joined I thought I had to try everything that everyone else did, but now I just do my own thing now that i've figured out what my hair does and doesn't like. It's alot of fun trying new things and seeing the results, good or bad lol it's all about finding what your hair loves :D I found cones to sit on my hair and do not very much lol but if your hair likes them that's ok :D

[justgreen]

Being late to the party, hi and welcome to the boards!

I'm STILL growing out two layers that sit right on my hemline and I have no intention of cutting to meet them until THEY reach classic length! I just get the very tips snipped off them and the hemline once a year, each October.

[Addy]

BTDT and got hacked to hell and back. :(

I left mine grow for 8 months and then had 4" or more cut off in May. I couldn't stay away from the flat iron to make it look decent. <aka mushroom head>

I agree that your hair is beautiful but that stylist needs his license REVOKED! :angry:

I am so sorry.

[MsBubbles]

So I read your first post and was imagining all kinds of hopeless images of a hairstyle. Then I scrolled down and saw your hair and :agape:
You hair is gorgeous! Back in the 80s I'd have killed to have my hair do what yours is doing now :). Anyway, I feel your salon pain and have been there too many times. Maybe since you actually cried in the chair, that stylist'll think again before hacking layers into somebody else's 'heavy' hair.

I agree with the advice of maintaining current length to grow your layers out if you want to grow them out. Might as well have Hollywood hair in the meantime, eh?

[SunnySideMia]

So I read your first post and was imagining all kinds of hopeless images of a hairstyle. Then I scrolled down and saw your hair and :agape:
You hair is gorgeous! Back in the 80s I'd have killed to have my hair do what yours is doing now :). Anyway, I feel your salon pain and have been there too many times. Maybe since you actually cried in the chair, that stylist'll think again before hacking layers into somebody else's 'heavy' hair.

I agree with the advice of maintaining current length to grow your layers out if you want to grow them out. Might as well have Hollywood hair in the meantime, eh?

Awwww thanks Ms. Bubbles :) I will take clearer pics later today. I just washed and deep conditioned my hair. I will make sure the pics are much clearer. :o. I have decided to grow it out, my best friend came over and said, "Wow do you have any idea how nice your hair looks, those layers are going to grow in so beautifully you'll going to love it just chill out and DO NOT GO NEAR SCISSORS!" Lol. I for sure won't be going back to the stylist I will chill out. Just thinking of hairstyles to do in the meantime besides a bun.:rolleyes:

[Silver & Gold]

I'm so sorry the stylist did that to you. I've had similar issues which is why I'm so skittish about having anyone else touch my hair with scissors.
Although I can well understand how upset you are, I have to say that your hair looks just fine in the picture. What I would do if I were in your place is learn some styles that look good with your current cut and then if you want a heavier hemline just trim off a bit at a time as it gets long enough that you feel you can afford a tiny trim. But I'm certain you'll regret it if you cut that length off now to get the bluntness back.
And who knows? Along the way you might find some lovely styles that you would never have been able to make with the fullness of all your hair.
*Hugs you*

[Isilme]

Hi and welcome!
Your hair turned out really really beautiful! But I understand if you are upset, no matter how pretty it is it wasn't what you asked for. If you run a search you will find many similair stories about people who trusted their stylist and ended up with something they weren't happy with. Sad but true. Next time, either trim your hair yourself or watch the stylist carefully, bring a ruler, and say you won't pay if they don't do what you want them to.

Here are the instructions for a self trim, maybe you have to change some of it for your curly hair http://community.livejournal.com/feyeselftrim

[Isblå]

Hi. I must begin with saying that your hair is gorgeous, even though it was not what you wanted. I actually have a haircut similar to yours, and I am almost happy with it, save that I wish the shortest layer was a bit longer.

I feel really sorry for you that you had to go through that with the stylist, it's unbelievable. I personally never had that happen to me, all my bad haircuts were the results of lack of communication or not knowing exactly what I wanted. If you ever visit a stylist again there are some things you can do to heighten the chances of getting what you want. There is an entire thread on the forum on this as well.

http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=12722&highlight=stylist

I always get my stylist to explain to me exactly what she will do BEFORE she picks up the scissors. That way I make sure that we agree on what will be done. Also I like to have her look at my hair before washing and then I tell her what I want to do. No risk of anyone getting scissorhappy then, since you are not ready to be cut anyway.

[Isblå]

Eh, sorry about double posting, but I am not allowed edits and I just saw that the link I added was not the one I wanted to point you to (although it that one is interesting as well). This is the one I meant: What to say and do so you get the cut you want (from a hairdresser):

http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=66699

[spidermom]

It's really awful to get something you did not want from a hair stylist, but it does look terrific. I hope you enjoy it.

[Teazel]

Welcome to LHC, and I'm sorry your know-it-all stylist gave you such a shock. :(

However, your hair really does look nice with the layers, and if you want to grow them out you can. You might grow to the length you want, then trim until the layers are gone, and in the meantime you'll have lovely swishy, trendy hair. IMHO, the biggest problem with layers is that it's hard to keep them under control in an updo, which makes it difficult to protect the ends.

[sky]

Welcome!

Sorry you got such a jerk into your hair.....back when I had very short hair I had cut every couple of months, it was not so important to me because it would always grow out again, but now it's a Major Impact if someone cuts my hair any way except what I explicitly tell them to do.

And if the stylist cannot take direction, I fire them! I had one man who could cut my hair only one way....it was way too short on the sides and stuck out awkwardly over my glasses. I tried to talk to him, and learned that it destablized him completely! So, he had to go.

I've had really good luck w/ a couple of stylists who charged an arm and a leg for a cut, so they had to go, too.

Since I began growing in a serious fashion, it's not so important that I find someone who can cut my hair; much more important to find someone who can LISTEN.

I have had very good luck w/ a stylist at Super Cuts....she has very long hair herself, is open to firm direction and has never murdered my hair.

I just this past month got rid of the last of my layers....took four years, but I did it!

I am also growing into a very steep A-line w/ the side hair. My hair is so thin and fine that I need the extra weight at the sides where it's even thinner than everyplace else, and she "gets it".

And the A-line helps when I pull my hair up and back....the longer front hair just about evens out w/ the shorter back hair. I like that!

The place keeps electronic files on all their customers, so I don't have to start all over again each time I go in.....just remind the stylist about the A-line and to not take off more than 1/4 inch.

Now, as to what you should do, you should do what you like best. Your photo shows gorgeous hair that I think you should just keep and trim away the layers as it grows. You might even keep the layers and concentrate on growing fairy-tale ends. But that's all your call, not anybody else's.

You will look great no matter what you decide to do. Your own inspection and critique will always be more stringent than anyone else's. Keep that in mind and be forgiving of yourself and your hair.

HTH

sky