So apparently my parents and my older sis hate my hair and want me to cut it. :/

[FallingDarkness]

Not that I'm going to. I like my hair, and that's what matters. Still, it's discouraging, to have 3 people whom I love tell me that my hair has gotten too long (um, it's not even waist length yet, so it's still short) and that it might be 'unmanageable' during college. And my sister told me that my hair was boring, too thick, and texture-less. I apparently need to get it thinned, or chopped to my shoulders, because right now my hair is ugly. :( :( :( I also need to wear it down more and 'style' it. Like, what, crown braids aren't a style? Nor are braided cinnabuns?! They were all so mean to me last night, and I'm just mad.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

....Apparently they aren't capable of minding their own business....hugs! I have family who say much the same. Nothing ugly about your hair, it is amazing :)

[Sterlyn]

*:grouphug: I am sorry that your family treated you like that, I find in my own life that few can cut as deeply as family members.

Your hair is gorgeous, that is a statement of fact. If you ever choose to cut it into a different style it should be because that is what you want for yourself, no one else's opinion counts.

[pearlsandpinups]

Is that your hair in your avatar? It's BEAUTIFUL! Your family are crazy if they think your hair is anything but.

Anyway, it's not their hair and not their business. What they said to you was extremely rude and out of bounds, in my opinion.

[Puffer Fish]

My mother dislikes my hair too, no matter what I do with it.
It's likely that your family is the same way; just do what you want and let them deal with it. Their opinions are hurtful but ultimately are not the law.
I'm sorry they treated you this way, and I hope you can learn to be happy with your wonderfully wavy and long hair, despite their annoyingness.

[Robot Ninja]

I'm not sure how college is different from high school in terms of how manageable your hair is?
Your sister doesn't know what she's talking about, your avatar certainly doesn't look "texture-less."
It sounds like none of them know what they're talking about. Ignore, change the subject, "so how about that local sports team?"

("Not even waist length yet, so it's still short." *snicker.* You know you are an LHC member when...)

[AmberJewel]

Textureless? I love your waves in your avatar pic! I am also a 2a and I love it. As for too thick, I'm envious of your thickness. Thick hair looks so wonderful at long lengths! You can see plenty of proof in this community. If it's "unmanageable" then it's your problem not theirs. I know you love your family and I mean no offense to them, but it's YOUR hair. If you want to put up with it, that's your call. You could tell them maybe that once it gets to be too much for you, you'll stop growing it? I also sympathize. My mom is always telling me that my hair needs to be cut back to my shoulders where it "looks good" because it's too thin to have long. You can be polite when they criticize, but know that your hair is beautiful (as proven by previous comments) and if you like it long then you can keep it long. Hang in there, FallingDarkness.

[Rowdy]

Your hair is beautiful and I wish I had your texture!! It sounds like they just like the short, layered, blow-dried look. Which is kinda funny because that would eat up way more time in the mornings than just putting it up in a bun :P They shouldn't have been mean to you :grouphug:

[Carolyn]

I think we who love our hair long sometimes have to take a deep breath and realize that the majority of the people around us are not long hair fans or are, at best, ambivalent to it. I know how much comments like this hurt. If you can, try to say as little as possible and just smile at the nay sayers. Family often feels it OK to say hurtful things "in our best interest". Your hair is lovely and I hope this doesn't discourage you. Try to keep your hair up around those family members. I got the same comment about long hair being too unmanageable to care for in college. Believe me, you really can go to college and have long hair. I'm sorry your family made these comments.

[PurpleSunshine]

Your hair is absolutely stunning. I would love to have hair like yours, mine is just plain brown and straight. Your hair is something to be very proud of, its looks well taken care of and beautiful.

[browneyedsusan]

It happens. People are not super smart about stuff like hair. (Look at all the mis-information out there regarding heat, split-end repair products, frequent washing/trims, whatever!) I'm sorry their words were hurtful.
You are 17, same age as my DD. Soon you will be in college, and have more independence. People still say mean things, no matter what. When I was pixied, people questioned my sexual orientation, health, mental well being, and all kinds of crazy stuff! (What kind of woman would cut her hair to 1" and actually like it that way? lol!)

FWIW: My mother-in-law still mourns a blond pixie I sported years ago, and my mother wishes I would get a "style". I'm 48 for crying out loud! (Darling Niece (23), says, "you grow it, Rapunzel!" I love her even more now!)

It'll be okay, Honey. Shake it off. :)

[Madora]

Why on earth would your hair be unmanageable in college??? Don't your relatives realize you know how to deal with it properly? They have no business critizing you so harshly. It's your hair and just ignore their ignorant rants.

[Fairlight63]

I would get the same comments from family members when trying to grow my hair long. What I would do is wear it up when I was around them so they would not know just how long my hair was getting. When they say something just ignore them as much as possible. Remember the complements that you get from others that made you feel really good. I find that long hair is not as much work as short hair is. When you get up in the morning & your hair is going every which way - you can braid it or bun it & it will look great. If short you have to hot roller it or something which takes much longer. Also the time that it takes to have to go to the beauty salon every month or two to get a trim if it is short - & never knowing if you will get the hair cut that you was hoping for.

PS: Your hair is beautiful!

[LadyStrange]

As someone who grew their hair out in college, I can tell you right now that it's not hard to manage! Your hair looks gorgeous in my humble opinion. Your family is simply being ignorant, which is something that a lot of us LHC people, myself included, unfortunately have to endure at some point. Don't give up! I think oftentimes, people simply get concerned about your happiness or something. My mother and her whole side of the family are always nagging on me about my hair because they think I "hide behind it" (which may or may not be true, but bah. Not the point.) Perhaps some of your family's words were stemming from misplaced concern that was simply poorly articulated.

[kmoc123]

My Mother just told me today that I should cut my hair like it was in high school...REALLY...I am 54 not 15. AND NO NO NO!! I don't care what she thinks or anyone else for that matter, about my hair. I love all 49 inches.

[Larki]

I know how you feel, my mother is always commenting that my hair looks greasy or messy, and that I need to "learn to take care of it." :rolleyes: She has a BBB with super long nylon bristles that HURTS and she brushed my hair with it yesterday and made me let her blow dry my hair "so it will be fluffy", and when I told her that the brush hurt she said, and I quote, "if you want beautiful hair, you're going to have to handle a little pain." Um, how about no? She's ALWAYS telling me that my hair is so dull, thin and unhealthy looking in comparison to when I was a little kid.

[EdG]

Here is a plan. Attend a LHC meet if there is one in your area. Show your mom the pictures from the meet.

That ended two decades of complaining that my hair was too long. ;)
Ed

[GreenFairy]

That's terrible parenting! Shouldn't they love you and want you to embrace every aspect of your life and personality through clothing, dress, and general appearance? Shouldn't they seek to support, not condemn? That is incredibly hurtful, and out of line. I wish I were there to defend you. They need to learn to pick their battles.

[Kyla]

If your avatar is anything to go by, your hair is lovely.

I'm sorry about your family's comments. :(

[FallingDarkness]

Wow. Thanks so much for the kind support and compliments! It means a lot to me <3 I know that they're just ignorant, and that they're being rude, but ugh. I thought it would be obvious that I cared about my hair - why would they try to influence me to chop it off????
And yes, my avvie right now is the most recent hair typing photo that I've taken, seeing how my old one was when my hair was a lot shorter...
LHC meets? Sounds like a ton of fun lol

[Arete]

Up until summer before college I would cut to between chin and shoulder, then I'd let it grow out to APL (I think the longestI let it get was a bit above BSL) and cut again. I'll give you testimony from a real-live college student in a difficult major who became a long hair in college that taking care of my hair has not in any way been made difficult by my college experience, nor has it made college in any way difficult either.
Also, you'll probably find you aren't alone once you hit college. There are a decent number of girls between waist and hip on my campus, and not crazy unusual to see TBL. I've even seen a few classic+ on occassion.
I'm glad you're sticking up for your hair, and know that I (and many other folks on this thread) think you have beautiful hair. Grow, grow, GROW!

[Merlin]

Come on, is nobody going to say it? It's the lhc mantra in such cases. Really....

Oh well, if it's up to me...

you're not there to decorate their world!

[Halliday]

Your hair is gorgeous in your avatar; you have nothing to worry about. It's your head and if it makes you happy, so be it!

[squirrrel]

*huggles* I guess that's family for you - If it's any comfort, you can see both on this thread and through other random scattered comments that you're not the only one to deal with ignorance and people just not getting the beauty of long hair.

Yours is simply gorgeous, and will look stunning as it reaches those longer lengths. Just keep holding onto the idea of the hair you want to have. @)

[hanne jensen]

Your hair is absolutely gorgeous. Know that. You are actually in style here in Europe. All fashion magazines and TV commercials have models with hair as long or longer than yours. Looking at people on the street here in Denmark I see a lot of longish hair on people of all ages. We're in an economic slump and folks are saving where they can.

As for your hair taking too much time while you're in college, hmph! It takes under a minute to smack it up using hairsticks or other simple toys. You're saving the environment for a lot of energy usage by not having to style your hair with electric gadgets and gizmos every day. You're saving the environment by not washing chemicals in the form of hair styling gunk every day down the drain.

You can tell your family that being college bound you're trying to save money where you can. Hair gunk costs a fortune and so do salon visits.

Your family will come around in a few years. They still love you.

[StellaKatherine]

My mother dislikes very long hair. I think she likes the longest maybe till waist lenght ? All my teenager years I've been hearing, that I should cut my hair shorter. Actually even my husband has told me, that in general he likes shorter haircuts on women, but at same time he said that it is my hair and my choice. So still, I have long hair and will be growing my hair even longer :D We can't expect everyone to be in love with the long hair, or liking how the long hair looks. Unfortunantly the ones who like hair short often do not realise, that their oppinion not always 100% right and it isn't their choice. I find people can be very brutally honest when talking about cutting hair. You need to stop appologising for your hair, it is your hair not theirs. I know it would be nice to hear more often how beautiful our hair is, but this will not really happen... But I think I am starting to convert my mom with wearing different updos and she's told me couple of times that they looked beuatiful :D

[kaydana]

You're 17, why do you care what your parents think? In fact, isn't their disapproval a good thing? :p

I'm seconding hanne jensen on this one, round here you would be very much in style. Long hair with natural looking waves and braided hairstyles both seem to be gaining popularity, especially (though not exclusively) amongst teenage girls.

[mariazelie]

My parents never liked long hair, either, and that was a LONG time ago. I have over the years realized that my mom (even at age 90)likes a more trendy lookas in a blow dry cut and jeans. I , however, like the easy care of long hair, wear it up and wear dresses (mother doesn't own one.) Weird, isn't it? Just realize the differences in your family opinions run through more issues than just hair. Continue to be yourself and learn to be independent of others approval. I am sure you are a lovely girl and you are entitled to prefer what you prefer.

[wilderwein]

When someone comments that your hair is too long just say "Well from my prespective, yours is too short for my preferences, grow it longer"

[lapushka]

When someone comments that your hair is too long just say "Well from my prespective, yours is too short for my preferences, grow it longer"

Good approach.

Don't mind them. Come to this place if you want to hear what we think. ;) It *is* discouraging, though, to hear it from the people you love! I'm really sorry.

[Wosie]

:grouphug: for you, FallingDarkness. First and foremostly, I can't believe that anybody'd say those mean things about your hair, it's downright gorgeous. Second of all, I can't believe that family members, who are supposed to support one's decisions said those things to you. It makes me feel a little sad to read your original post.

You'll get tons of support here, believe you me! We are your longhair family members. :blossom:

[LongHairLesbian]

It might be time to declare that comments about your hair are off-limits. Your sister and mum obviously have different ideas of what pretty, stylish hair look like. Long, natural hair doesn't seem to make the cut. Hey, to each their own. But it doesn't mean you all need to talk about it, because it just leads to hurt feelings. I'm sure that they wouldn't appreciate you calling their hair damaged, fried, unnatural, uninteresting, too short, dried out, ugly, etc. So I think that proposing an end to discussions about hair length and style would probably be in your best interest. If they can't help telling you that you hair is too thick, boring, long, etc. fight fire with fire. Shoot back with "well, at least my hair isn't a hideous, dried out frizz ball without heat styling and salon visits" or "You don't like my long hair? I don't like your short, heat styled hair. It looks damaged and boring, even after all the time you spend on it." I mean, being kind and reasonable is usually your best bet, but if they still can't watch their mouths, let them see how they like having their own hair insulted. If nothing else works, maybe that will help them lose interest in trying to tell you what to do with your hair.

[Earlyrose]

My family has always hated my long hair, and Ive decided they are just jealous. My mom throws such a fit and will be moody for months if I tell her to grow her thin hair long, but felt it was okay to always harp on my hair, suggest it was the root of health problems, and even cut off my ponytail one time. I used to tolerate it and be nice, now she says anything and I immediately start on her hair. It's possible you have a toxic family, too. College might be just the break you need.

[truepeacenik]

I think you might want to look at quixii's hair. She's been just fine at college....with curls and a college with a penchant for dreadlocks.
(know why the hippies left Eugene? They were told to get a job. )

[Charybdis]

You can tell your family that being college bound you're trying to save money where you can. Hair gunk costs a fortune and so do salon visits.

This is very true. Even with buying a few nice hairtoys every year, having long hair (especially undyed) works out a lot cheaper. I don't miss spending money at the salon.

[Merlin]

I'm seconding hanne jensen on this one, round here you would be very much in style. Long hair with natural looking waves and braided hairstyles both seem to be gaining popularity, especially (though not exclusively) amongst teenage girls.

thirded - I work in a school and we've got a ****load of girls with long hair, probably more than I've seen in years

[ARG]

There are posts like this at least once a month on the forum. Your best bet is to not ask anyone their opinion on your hair (or style), and if someone gives their unsolicited opinion, just ignore it and grow some thicker skin.

If I cut my hair every time someone told me I looked better with short hair, I'd still have a chin length bob. My mom still makes comments about me needing shorter hair, I tell her I like my hair long, just as she prefers her's short and its not hurting anyone.

Remember, everyone has an opinion, you make the decision to let it affect you or not.

[spidermom]

Pay no attention, seriously. I have nearly tailbone-length hair and am going to college at age 60. Believe me, my hair length is the least of my concerns.

[mrs_coffee]

Everyone has an opinion. No matter what you do in life, there will be someone who isn't happy or doesn't approve. That's why you need to do what makes YOU happy.

[LauraLongLocks]

Posts like these make me realize how blessed I am to have family that does not pick on me for my looks. I'm sorry they are so mean to you. Long hair IS a style.

[browneyedsusan]

Posts like these make me realize how blessed I am to have family that does not pick on me for my looks. I'm sorry they are so mean to you. Long hair IS a style.


This thread needs a like button!
Right on! LLL!

[MINAKO]

im sorry to read that your family is being interfering with the way you like to see yourself, and then three at a time, terrible.... rude... none of their business. just don't bother to explain anything, if they see it as a flaw they will always find another reason to argument further to put their belliefs on you. dont list and dont reply to those comments.

my mom loves my hair and takes alot of pride in it around other people especially, simply because its the extreme bersion of her her hair when she was in her twenties. what she does not like so much is the fact that i hardly wear it down and hide it in a bun, but since i came up with neater ones and not just the whatevs topknot, she sometimes even compliments on it now.
some of my friends would want me to cut it, but i made it very clear that im not interested in their opinions, like the girls are being jealous cause most of them fried their hair to hell and back, and some guy think victoris secret angel hair is as fashionable as it gets, so they suggest voluminous and layered to swish around the chest area. screw that!!! everytime someone comments **** on my hair i send them a picture of yoko ono and john lennon now, holding that sign and then im done talking, lol.

[RachelRose]

I'm a bit of a rudey when people make comments like that .id ask when their chauffeur will be picking them up for their hair modeling gig ? Oh they're not ? Then when did they become the authority on hair fashion? Or i would tell my sister I don't like her face and she should get it slammed in my door lol . My family would only comment once lol wow I am so mature :slap:

[MINAKO]

I'm a bit of a rudey when people make comments like that .id ask when their chauffeur will be picking them up for their hair modeling gig ? Oh they're not ? Then when did they become the authority on hair fashion? Or i would tell my sister I don't like her face and she should get it slammed in my door lol . My family would only comment once lol wow I am so mature :slap:

hahaha, not a bad reply at all. i might use that on a bitchy day, thx! XD

[RachelRose]

I guess bitchy days are all I have anymore lol you have to fight for your right to party errr I mean grow hair lol

[Hibernis]

They called you ugly?

That's mean. Don't listen to mean people.

[RainbowBowser]

Your hair certainly won't be unmanageable for college. Nautilus buns take 30 seconds! Its really tough when loved ones are the ones who say things that hurt you. Much love and support with the rest of us here :) <3

[mariechin1234]

Maybe they are just jealous of your hair. Just keep as healthy and consult an expert to make sure you got the best haircut you deserve.

[vega]

Your hair is beautiful I think they cud be jealous

[martyna_22]

My mom wasn't supportive of growing my hair at first, either. Nor was my grandma. But when I actually gained these 10 or so inches, they started urging me to grow it longer as it hadn't occured to tehm long hair can be nicely taken care of and healthy.
I'd say don't worry about others' opinions. And like you said - YOU lke your hair, this IS reason enough to keep it long.

Btw., for what it's worth, your hair is beautiful, thick and has a lovely texture. All the more reason to develop its potential :)

[Rinna]

Your hair is truly gorgeous. Don't listen to the naysayers.

[captaincrunch]

They have conditioned you that it is OK for them to put you down because they're family. It is not. All of their comments are rude and inappropriate. The problem isn't your hair it's having a family that enjoys degrading you.

[molljo]

You've posted lots of threads along these lines, where members of your family, particularly your mother, try to exert an inappropriate amount of control over your choices and insult you. The problem is your family, not your hair. I'm honestly worried that once you do go to college the freedom will be overwhelming.