An Imaginary Conversation

[Madora]

Hi, fellow long hair! Do you want to grow your hair longer? To protect what you have now? Do you know what you need? You need...P A T I E N C E! However, patience is not available: over the counter - on the Internet - in dispenser or pill form - or in a foam or spray - and NOT available on Amazon! * But I need it/want it! Do you really? Then dig down deep and repeat after me: I want: healthy, beautiful long hair/I want to run my fingers through silky strands of shimmering beauty/I want to turn heads when people see my hair/I want hair that glows with good health/I want hair that swishes seductively/I want hair that shines in the sunlight/I want hair that doesn't snap and break off easily! I want to enjoy my hair like I used to! Then you need....P A T I E N C E! /// But (indignantly!), I AM patient! Oh? HOW are you patient?/// I use This n That for my hair (its very gentle!) and Stressles Messes for conditioning it after every shampoo, and I only wash my hair when it needs it! I wear it up daily and at night I braid it loosely and use silk pillow case covers. I air dry only and never blow fry/use hot curlers/straighteners/bleach/back comb or tease my hair. I'm trying to stretch my shampoos to once every two weeks! /// That's excellent! And do you detangle regularly with a wide tooth comb? /// Of course! Every day! ...But you know, my hair isn't growing much...and it's breaking off too. I don't know why! I'm so carefull when I detangle it! /// How do you use your comb when you detangle with it? /// Well, I just kinda finger comb first. /// Fine! /// Then I start to detangle with my comb. /// HOW do you detangle with that comb? /// You mean, there is a CERTAIN way to detangle your hair? /// Yes, there is, if you want to minimize breakage. /// How do you minimize damage? My comb never seems to work properly. My hair breaks combs! My comb is stiff and doesn't like my hair. I'm always fighting my hair when I comb it. /// You need to use a more gentle approach when you detangle with a wide tooth comb. /// A more gentle approach???? ///Yes. /// What's this "gentle" technique? /// It's called P A T I E N C E...and you do it like this: The detangling process is one of gentle steps:
1) finger comb your hair first. Do it slowly
2) Take SMALL, THIN section of hair. About pinkie size. Start at the ends and slowly comb up the strands, little by little, until you reach the roots.
3) Use a small one piece clip (or a scrunchie) to keep the detangled hair separate from the undetangled hair.
4) Take another SMALL, THIN section of hair and do as before
5) Work you way around your head in this fashion. (Actually, it is easier to do if you first make a center part and divide your hair in two sections. Detangle all the hair on the right and confine it. Repeat for hair on the left.
Now you may think this is way too much effort and time consuming. If you want to have beautiful, healthy hair, you must TAKE THE TIME. Small, fine sections let you do a more thorough "search" of the strands.
6) Don't have the grip of death on your comb! you are not fighting your hair! Hold your comb gently and lightly, as if you were holding a living bird in your hand and you were afraid to crush it.
7) When you are detangling, go SLOWLY! If you feel a tangle, STOP IMMEDIATELY! Isolate the tangle and take it apart with your fingers (hold the tangle horizontally and take it apart with your fingers). If you hold the tangle vertically, it just tightens the tangle and makes it about impossible to save. /// But that's SO time consuming! /// If you want beautiful, healthy hair, you'll make time to be patient, OR take precautions to keep your mane from being damaged. you need to be disciplined and proactive and avoid unfriendly hair practices, wear your hair up to diminish the probability of tangles. /// But I do all those things already!! ///Good for you! But remember, you can do all those things, use the best products, but if you are not gentle and slow when you detangle with your wide tooth comb, your hair will show it...with mechanical damage. /// So if I want healthy hair, I should detangle more slowly and carefully? /// Yes! THE End! I am Madora. I'm 68. My hair is now at knee. Genetics aside, how do you think I attained that length? By gentle detangling practices...every single day. You can too, if you're willing to take the time! Good luck! http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w225/07Erzbet/101514ThenandNow20032014_edited-1.jpg (http://s177.photobucket.com/user/07Erzbet/media/101514ThenandNow20032014_edited-1.jpg.html)

[sarahthegemini]

:-/

(not enough characters)

[lacefrost]

I love where you said to hold the comb "as if you were holding a living bird in your hand and you were afraid to crush it." That was really beautiful and profound. And it makes a difference.

[Madora]

I love where you said to hold the comb "as if you were holding a living bird in your hand and you were afraid to crush it." That was really beautiful and profound. And it makes a difference. Thanks, Lacefrost! Yes, it's amazing that something as just holding a comb can make such a difference! But it does!

[winship2]

I think you've said it all, Madora ;)

[Madora]

I think you've said it all, Madora ;) Thanks, winship2!

[Santi]

Madora! I love your delivery! You have a way of telling it like it is w/ humor & grace. I admire how you continuously share your healthy hair care practices while crediting those you have learned from. Thanks for this reminder.

"Ask yourself if what you're doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow" -Unknown

[Madora]

Madora! I love your delivery! You have a way of telling it like it is w/ humor & grace. I admire how you continuously share your healthy hair care practices while crediting those you have learned from. Thanks for this reminder.

"Ask yourself if what you're doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow" -Unknown

Thanks, Santi! I appreciate it! I hope my story doesn't come off as "preachy" but I only learned the patience lesson after years of detangling incorrectly with my comb. Truly, your hair benefits so much if you just take the extra time to do it slowly! I know this is not possible in all situations, but even altering bad hair choices can have a good effect on better hair quality. This is particular crucial, in my 'umble opinion, if you want to grow to uber long lengths.

[Madora]

Apologies. Double post.

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Beautifully said, Madora:)

[Madora]

Thanks very much, Sarahlabyrinth!

[Cania]

Heh, what a cute post!
I've reached my humble goal and am lucky enough that my genetics and age make up for my horrible detangling routine. I should really start taking more care, this was a great reminder. This is a real must for people going for extreme lengths~

[GetMeToWaist]

Madora this is great! and i always love seeing your hair down.

[CarpeDM]

Hi Madora, great post! Now when someone asks the question "how can I grow my hair longer?" you can simply refer them to this thread :)

[Annalouise]

I love your instructions Madora.:blossom:
Have you heard the prayer: "Lord, give me patience, and give it to me NOW." :D

I like your "death grip" description. That is so funny and so true. We've all done that!

I had no idea how to properly detangle until you came along and showed me.
It really DOES work so much better when you section the hair into 6 sections and then do it one section at a time.

When I comb and bbb I have to detangle once standing up. Then when I put my head upside down I have to detangle it
again in that position. Then I bbb. Then, when I stand back up I have to detangle my hair again.

So I have to detangle it 3 times inorder to brush it.

That takes a LOT of patience.

But it pays off in the end.

My hair is very thin and fine and people sometimes wrongly assume that my hair is BROKEN, and that is why its so thin at the ends.
No, my hairs are NOT broken! That is my genetically thin hair.

Since I've been doing your detangling and brushing routine over a year, (I wasn't properly detangling in sections until recently though) I do not have split ends or broken hair.

I have see the oils move down the length despite what some people say: "ohh you'll never move the oil down to the ends." That is not true. And I have an oily scalp so I have plenty of oil to move down the hair.

Over time your oil scalp and dry ends become changed into a more even consistency. It really does work and you don't need product to mask the dry ends when your ends are properly nourished by brushing combined with not stripping the hair with over washing!

Brilliant if you ask me!

Thanks again! You're a real hair saver!

[lapushka]

Yes, patience with a capital P. :)

[Johannah]

Am I the only one who thought about this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-ciMuVhDXA)video? No?

Well said, Madora!

[georgia_peach]

Am I the only one who thought about this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-ciMuVhDXA)video? No?

Well said, Madora! I thought of it, too, Johannah. Glad you linked it here. Now I can refer back to it as needed. :)

Thank you, Madora. I always enjoy and learn from your posts. :blossom:

[tigereye]

I think the death grip issue applies to brushes too, including BBBs or tangle teasers. I always start at the ends, in sections, whether it's comb or brush.
No fingers though. That's asking for trouble in my hair. The only time I use fingers is to gently pull apart a knot that may have formed while air-drying post-wash.

[momschicklets]

I needed that pep talk Madora!! And how kind and helpful it was of you to write that all down...wisdom wrapped up in humility and grace :) I'm not good at the patience part for sure, but these reminders really do encourage me to not give up.

[Ennapic]

:toast:

Here's to you Madora.

Great post.

[Avis]

I tried detangling extra slowly and gently today and I was amazed at how little hair I shed. It was about 1/3 of the hair I normally shed. I'm definitely going to stick with this. Many thanks, Madora. :)

[Annalouise]

Madora, I forgot to tell you that your hair looks Fantastic!

[LauraLongLocks]

Wise advice from someone who obviously knows because, Madora, you have amazing flowing locks. Love the way you shared this, too. Thank you. :blossom:

Since learning to detangle slowly and patiently, I have preserved countless hairs from breakage and prematurely being ripped out of my scalp. :)

[Agnes Hannah]

This is so me. I have been mulling over how to comb better for some time now. I have the correct comb, but don't always hold it so gently. Sometimes I comb too quickly and not as gentle as I should do. Thank you for your wise words Madora:gift:

[Ingrid]

Hehe, death-grip... I can indeed relate. Thanks for the suggestions!

[darklyndsea]

I don't even want to think about how long it would take if I detangled slowly. :/

Which isn't to say it isn't great for other people...people who can detangle their hair in a reasonable amount of hair anyway.

[Catatafish]

It definitely took a lot of time for me get used to using a comb without breaking my hair. Gentle de-tangling is definitely one of the best things that you can do if you want to grow long healthy hair though.

It is still difficult when I'm in a rush though! :)
Hopefully once my hair is longer I can put it up all of the time, so that I can make sure to de-tangle my hair gently ALL of the time.

[Madora]

I don't even want to think about how long it would take if I detangled slowly. :/

Which isn't to say it isn't great for other people...people who can detangle their hair in a reasonable amount of hair anyway.

As someone who has dealt with trying to detangle very, very thick hair (back when I was much younger), I commiserate with you, darklyndsea!

But if I may play Devil's advocate for gentle, slow detangling...here's a thought: Yes, it does take time to do it properly BUT unless you're wearing it down again after detangling it, then detangling pays off because the next morning (for instance) when you're rushing to get ready for work or school or whatever, you don't have to spend all that time detangling (if you did it slowly and gently the night before). It takes me all of 3 minutes to detangle my single braid on top of my head bed braid every day.

Maybe this isn't practical for your hair, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Happy growing!

And many thanks to: Cania, GetMeToWaist, CarpeDM, Annalouise,Johannah (I LOVED THAT VIDEO!), georgia_peach, momschicklets, Ennapic, Avis, LauraLongLocks, Agnes Hannah and Ingrid! Your comments cheered me greatly and I appreciate it!

[darklyndsea]

When my hair has been up in a braided bun and hasn't tangled much, it takes 20 minutes to detangle. I would kill for hair that I could detangle in 3 minutes.

[Savvyhorsez]

Lol, that is awesome Madora.

[rowie]

Thanks for this Madora! :flower: Whenever I detangle my hair I think of you lately. The way I think of you is having you right by my side holding a ruler and ready to hit my hand every time I hold my comb improperly and such!:whip:

I can hear you right now telling me "rowie, for the sake of your hair don't do this or that..." So instead, to avoid any discomfort I like to make my hair detangling sessions special by lighting a nice aromatic candle. Then I sit on the center of my bathroom floor with a nice meditating kind of music on, and gently finger comb each section of my hair. So very therapeutic and calming, and I'd also take the time to massage my scalp. Once I'm done detangling I continue with my body shop wide tooth comb on section at a time (I still have my Madora Ivory comb, but it is saved for when I reach my goal length of classic). After I'm done, then I proceed with the bend forward to the waist and use my bbb to clean my scalp and move the natural oils down almost to my ends. I continue and once I'm done with that I will check my ends to see if it needs some mineral oil. The final part of my daily ritual includes having fun and picking out my updo for the day along with what hair toy I'll use.

Yes my sessions in the morning are long like at least an hour including completion of my updo, but I think it really helps my hair continue to grow healthy, and I notice the improvement in the quality of my hair, and I think it shows in my updos. You always tell me having beautiful healthy long hair is a lot of work, and I beliece you as I continue to tell myself all of this hard work pays off in the form of the quality of my hair. I can only hope that I have the perseverance to continue my routine that you've helped me tailor to my own type of hair. I wish you good health so you as well can continue to grow your beautiful hair to great lengths. Although your current length is phenomenal!

[winship2]

I also think of Madora when I detangle! I'm stretching washed from about every other day to about a week right now, and have been using advice from the NW/SO thread to get there. SMP SMP SMP, but first detangle standing up and then bending over with successively finer horn combs, then at night BBB my CAREFULLY AND THOROUGHLY detangled hair, bit by bit.

Thanks for the good advice gently but firmly given.