My response to Locks of Love comments

[MadPirateBippy]

So, I think I had this on the old forums somewhere but can't find the thread there. When I was at waist I got the Locks of Love comments (you know the one- you should donate your hair!) a lot. And I stopped explaining why I LoL isn't a good organization when someone walked past, heard what I was saying, and got really upset- they cut and donated his wife's knee length hair after she died, but it had greys in it so they probably threw it in the trash. So. Explaining that LoL isn't the best place to donate your hair even if you want to donate it, no longer something I do.

If someone asks me to donate my hair/says I should, I tell them that's not what I do. I'm a member of http://bethematch.org/. I suggest they sign up. A lot of times a kid with lukemia won't have a relative that's a bone marrow match, so they have to find a donor. There's a lot of kids who never find a match. And (depending on the audience, of course, I'll change how I state this) the bald little bastages would rather have a cure for their cancer than a wig.

I used to have cards I'd hand out to people who asked questions about it.

Only 1 to 5% of your marrow is needed to save a kids life, it's not a painful big deal anymore (a few shots and harvest, vs. drilling into your pelvis to get the marrow), and if someone tries to act sanctimonious that you won't cut off your hair to give a little bald cancer kid a wig, you can throw it right back at them that they aren't signed up to get a weeks worth of shots to save that same kid's LIFE.

I got about a dozen people to sign up, too, which was awesome and way more productive. I can't donate anymore (my own health issues make me ineligible), but it's a really awesome thing to get signed up with anyway.

I have found this a far more interesting conversation than your standard Locks for Love convo, which I find really boring!

[AmyBeth]

That's quite a touching story, MPB. Thanks for sharing. I will check out bethematch.

[Elly May]

I will check it out, too. Thanks for the info! I had tried to sign up to be a donor many nears ago, but they wouldn't take me because of a health issue that made me higher risk for the procedure, but if it is improved that much, maybe they will accept me now.

[spidermom]

I was only ever asked once. I said: "no, I think I'll keep it."

[calmyogi]

Cool story. I think I'll look into this. My hair isn't that long and never has been, yet, but I think LOL comments would infuriate me.

[embee]

I remember this discussion from the old board, and thought it was a magnificent comeback. :) I'm not able for health and age reasons, can't even give blood they say, but money for research is always good too.

[Long_hair_bear]

My favorite response so far is, "If its so important to you, you grow your hair out and donate it!"

Glad you guys can donate blood and bone marrow. I can't due to an extreme phobia. :(

[ARG]

Yes!

DD gave us quite a scare last January, and I spent a lot of time in the Hematology/Oncology Ward in a hospital with her. She ended up getting 4 units of blood during that time, and getting a bone marrow tap. Unfortunately, even though her father and I are the same blood type as her, we both were ineligible to be direct donors for her blood transfusions, and time was of essence (it would have taken two days for myself to be approved as a donor, she most likely would have been dead by then), and very rarely are parents good candidates for a marrow donation, usually chances are higher when someone has a full-sibling, which my daughter doesn't have. Its thanks to people like Bippy that my daughter is snuggling me right now, fully recovered, healthy toddler.

From my meeting other children in the ward, ALL of them wore soft crocheted or knitted beanies, and had fleece blankets. When it came down to it, warmth and health was more important to them and their families, than someone else's hair on their heads.

There are tons of organizations that deliver hand crocheted/knitted hats and blankets to these children and adults, which is what I have done, since I can't donate life saving marrow or blood.

[In2wishin]

I've been playing around on the website but my age limits the possibility of me being a donor so I will have to be an advocate for it, rather than an active participant. On the other hand, it has been almost a year now since I had my transfusions and my hemoglobin is staying up so I can start donating blood again after the first of the year! I am actually excited to be able to donate again. It has been about 4 years since the last time my numbers were high enough to allow me to do it. I've given just over 2 gallons so far and taken back 4 pints so I need to get the positive side of the ledger higher!

[Catatafish]

I can't give blood because I may have been exposed to vCJD, so probably can't donate marrow. That is a great response though, and I'm glad you got somebody to sign up. It is so much more important to donate blood, carry an organ donor card etc. than to donate hair.

I've never had hair long enough (yet!) that people have suggested I donate it. Thankfully, I don't think it is very common here yet. I'll know what to suggest if it happens though.

[Nightshade]

I do something similar, but mention that I'm working on my SEVENTH gallon pin for donating blood. I've done 52 individual donations of blood, and a ton of plasma when I was in college. I'm usually polite about it, but smiling and mentioning how much I've donated and then sweetly asking if that's enough for them usually shuts them down.

[mira-chan]

That's great. I don't generally get locks of love comments as I wear my hair up all the time but it's generally a great suggestion. I unfortunately am ineligible to donate due to health but have been poking around as to where to donate hats and things I can make, especially since I have way too much yarn around.

[AmyBeth]

My favorite response so far is, "If its so important to you, you grow your hair out and donate it!"

Glad you guys can donate blood and bone marrow. I can't due to an extreme phobia. :(
I like that response. I never get LOL comments because I, too, also wear my hair up always. But of course I read about other member's experience with those comments. What always infuriates me is when someone insists that someone else is selfish because they don't want to cut and donate their hair. Incredible presumption!:steam I think that if the commentator is not willing to grow and donate their own hair, they are just as "selfish".:shrug:

[hanne jensen]

What a brilliant and constructive response, Bippy.

[MadPirateBippy]

Thanks guys. When I went through Yon Organ Failure it left me ineligible to donate marrow. I can't donate blood because of other issues, but the more people who know about marrow donation, the more lives can be saved.

Smacking down the sanctimonious pricks who try to make other long hairs feel guilty about not cutting off our hair for wigs kids don't want or need? Weeeeelllllll, that's just a bonus.

[fiðrildi]

That's an excellent response, MadPirateBippy. Recently I watched a very informative video of the process of donating marrow. I'm pretty sure that I'm not eligible, since I have a very small body and I don't reach the minimum weight requirement (for the same reason, I can't donate blood).
I'm an organ donor (even if I still need to get the card). I've tried to raise awaireness on the matter among my family and friends, but for some reason people get so anxious whenever they hear the words "donor" and "organs". It's just like a taboo, it seems. Sadly, most of people link it with death, rather than with life. I reckon this is an important matter to discuss.

I wish more people were aware of the importance of donating (whether it's bone marrow, blood, organs, or else). I read on the news a few weeks ago, about a marrow donor who refused to continue with the procedure in order to save a life, after giving hope to a small child with leukaemia... I will not continue, so to not get agressive.

[Nadine <3]

Great response! I think if I was ever asked the question I would just tell them that it's my hair and I don't want to. That should be a good enough reason, shouldn't it?:disco:

[kganihanova]

"My hair has been colored so unfortunately, I cannot donate" Works everytime. Most people don't know the fine print involved -.-

[Nightshade]

"My hair has been colored so unfortunately, I cannot donate" Works everytime. Most people don't know the fine print involved -.-

I've used this too :) "I have gray hair and I color my hair. That makes it ineligible for donation."

[kganihanova]

I've used this too :) "I have gray hair and I color my hair. That makes it ineligible for donation."

When I got my chop, the stylist asked me like 50 times if I wanted to donate the 8 inches- since you know its gotta be in a ponytail to send it off. Since you can't really see the henna in regular light, she didn't know what color I was doing. It was super annoying having to explain to her about the fine print involved.

[RachelRose]

I am realizing that you lovely ladies have hearts of gold :) I can't stand people suggesting what others should do though like I should cut my hair . How about they downsiZe their ridiculous sized home or let a homeless person stay there for awhile ? How about they donate one of their three cars to a family in need ? That would be my comeback if it was suitable .(depending on who made the suggestion and their intention behind it) sure we don't "need" our hair but we don't need a lot of things and if I'm capable of having suggested sacrifices so are they right ? They could always earn money for a new car or something since my hair will just grow back . I was blown away to learn the limitations on donating hair and know plenty of people's who's hair is in the trash . Id rather give my blood . They won't throw it away at least .

[vega]

Love the cooments here x , I'm often asked to donate my hair I think people can be rude

[MINAKO]

*furiously wields metal hair stick* i would just tell them to eff off, although my hair has been colored with natural dye as well.. i dont care about the requirement, since i would never give it to them in any case. even if it was 100% virgin and i wanted to cut it, i would keep the ponytail.

i would donate blood and marrow, but they would probably send me away since im highly underweight by stupid BMI standards.

[trolleypup]

I just tell people that LOL is a front from the human hair extensions industry. and let them figure it out.

Also, the wig department at the Opera has first dibs if my hair is to be cut.

[lunalocks]

What a wonderful response and thank you for educating so many people.

[AZDesertRose]

I had never heard of Be the Match. I'm going to look into that.

I don't get many donation comments right now with my hair only at APL, but in years past when it was classic length, I used to get them. I used to say that I donate blood and I'm an organ donor, and that's good enough for me. (In fact, I just donated blood last Sunday, and in my part of the world, you indicate on your driver license whether you wish to be an organ donor, and I've done that since I was old enough to sign off on it. My state has a little heart logo with the words "organ donor" under your address. I guess that's an expedient way for emergency personnel to know, in the event of a catastrophic accident or something.)

~toodles off to go Google Be the Match~

[Todd]

I was blown away to learn the limitations on donating hair and know plenty of people's who's hair is in the trash .

A real eye-opener is watching "hair donation" videos on Youtube. There are tons of them where the hair almost certainly ended up in the trash! Straggly, fried hair ain't NO WAY suitable to make into a wig. And lots of them aren't even long enough yet to meet the requirements!

Being a guy, I get asked all the time if I'm just growing it to donate. They look at me like I have three heads when I tell them "No".

I'm going to start using some of the responses I saw here in this thread...

[Viola88]

I am signed up for BeTheMatch and get excited when I see an email from them but so far, no actual email saying I'm a match, just thank you emails etc.

[Angela_Rose]

I've had to have similar discussions with nosy people. My hair, like that of so many others here, is usually up in a bun, but sometimes I wear it in a single braid, and when your single braid hangs down beyond your butt, it is bound to attract attention. So! When someone tells me I ought to hack off all my beautiful hair and send it off to LOL, I ask her when was the last time she donated blood, or I ask him if he's an organ donor, if she donates plasma, if he's on the rare blood donor database, if she's on a bone marrow list. Depending on how snarky I feel, I have been known to elucidate on my status as a blood donor, or my place on the rare blood donor list (I have some rare enzymes in my blood that makes me a particularly good match for people of Asian descent [which is weird, because I'm not Asian at all] and can be called at any time if someone within a certain distance of me needs my blood), or the hours upon hours I've spent hooked up to an apherisis (sp?) machine getting my plasma separated out for donation, or my firsthand knowledge of how important bone marrow donors are (Dad had a bone marrow transplant 19 years and 20 days ago). "I'll be keeping my hair, thank you very much."

[LauraLongLocks]

I love these suggestions. I have spent so much of my life pregnant and breastfeeding that I have refrained from donating blood (I've only done it 3 times in my life) and haven't ever signed up to be a marrow donor. I am an organ donor, though, in case I get killed in a car accident.

When menopause finally comes I will likely donate blood every 2-3 months. I have O+ blood, so it's almost universal. My father was on call with the blood bank because of his O+ blood. I remember him getting called a few times as a child because they needed more of his blood type. Right now my body has enough strain from creating and nourishing new life every couple of years.

[blondecat]

I'm too old and too heavy and have too many health issues to be part of Be the Match, but have posted on my Facebook page. and will tell everyone I can about this.

[Rinna]

You don't need either a proof of righteousness or an excuse to keep your hair long. It's yours, you grew it and you get to keep it. If someone is set on donating hair, they should grow and donate their own.

[Lady melissa]

putting my hair growth in vids on youtube, often starts the donating argument...i'm so tired sick of this stupid remark: it's like: your hair is long, so you should donate or you are a selfish bitch! Then i point out the obvious: it's better to donate money for research and find a cure than give a wig to somebody. Also, nowadays technology creates amazing synthetic wigs that are very comfortable to wear and very realistic, so why should i donate my lovely hair, for which i cared for over a decade? When have you ever made such an effort? And i also add that i donate to several good causes and i work at the immigration office and support society in that way, every day....i betcha that's more than they will ever do for someone in their pityful lives...LOL

[Angela_Rose]

You don't need either a proof of righteousness or an excuse to keep your hair long. It's yours, you grew it and you get to keep it. If someone is set on donating hair, they should grow and donate their own.

I don't see it as "proof of righteousness;" it is a response to the shame these people are trying to put on us or the guilt trip they think we deserve.
If somebody tries to shame me into hacking off all my beautiful hair, I'm going to try to shame them into going to the local blood donation center.

[Hrtchoco]

I'm a marrow donor, organ donor and a regular blood donor. In reality, my blood is pretty useless since it's AB+. My mother -in-law who works in the hospital said they don't even keep AB on hand.

I like my hair long but I like my hair short also. I don't care if someone suggests I should donate(although it'd pretty rude) simpliy because I'm not all that attached to my hair. I've donated my hair once -- I was chopping my hair off anyway, so why not.

[pittsburgpam]

I just politely say that I donate in other ways. Each month I choose something to donate to... the food bank, Samaritan's Purse, local ministries, children's charities, etc. I give all year long and my hair is waaaayyy down on my list of things that are important to donate.

[Shebelina]

Just before Christmas my coworkers approached me with the idea of getting people to sponsor me to get my hair cut and donate the money and hair to charity. I wasn't as angry as I thought I would be. I explained to them that my hair isn't eligible as it has been dyed and that I already make monthly donations to cancer charities. On top of this I run in at least three charity runs a year.

They weren't trying to guilt trip me though which I think made the difference to my anger levels. I think I would have been far more snarky if they'd been rude about my refusal.

[LauraLongLocks]

Because of this thread, I donated blood last week. I realized, hey, I'm actually NOT pregnant or breastfeeding!

[lunalocks]

Thank you, Laura. My DH donates blood as often as he is able. My father and his father did too. You are all heroes. I wish I could be one too.

[LauraLongLocks]

Thank you, Laura. My DH donates blood as often as he is able. My father and his father did too. You are all heroes. I wish I could be one too.

I got my 16 yr old son to come along and donate with me, too. So they got two units that day. Don't know yet whether my son is O+ like me or B+ like his dad, but either way I'm sure they'll find a use for his blood.

[chen bao jun]

Being black, and not actually having long hair yet i have only gotten asked this once, in a doubting way, as in Could you donate your hair type for wigs? I said I didn't think so as they use straight hair to make afro wigs, fRom what I ve heard. I do think in general this is rude. I actually think it's a bit odd of the people at a work place to suggest to a member they do charity with her body part, though they probably don't realize this since TV shows have normalized this. I can cook, but it would be strange if the people at my job aseed me to cook so they could raffle a cake for charity. Requests t h at make you look bad if you refuse them aren't fair.

[Angela_Rose]

Because of this thread, I donated blood last week. I realized, hey, I'm actually NOT pregnant or breastfeeding!

Awesome!! I'm getting close to my next eligible date to donate, so I should make an appointment

[chen bao jun]

I just looked it up and locks of love will take afro hair as long as it stretches to 10 inches and will take it colored or permed? Odd, since they don't take anybody else's treated hair. Well, probably no one will ask me again, so I'm not worrying.
I used to donate blood but take medication now that they don't like. I'm type B positive.

[Angela_Rose]

Just before Christmas my coworkers approached me with the idea of getting people to sponsor me to get my hair cut and donate the money and hair to charity. I wasn't as angry as I thought I would be. I explained to them that my hair isn't eligible as it has been dyed and that I already make monthly donations to cancer charities. On top of this I run in at least three charity runs a year.

They weren't trying to guilt trip me though which I think made the difference to my anger levels. I think I would have been far more snarky if they'd been rude about my refusal.

Really?! That just seems super weird to me. Are you and your coworkers particularly close? I wouldn't dream of asking a coworker anything like that, especially not to hack off a body part.

[Shebelina]

Really?! That just seems super weird to me. Are you and your coworkers particularly close? I wouldn't dream of asking a coworker anything like that, especially not to hack off a body part.


We're all friends but I haven't been there very long so we're not super close. The person who suggested it is the type of person who doesn't realise what she's saying might offend people. None of them have ever grown their hair long before, they hadn't thought that having babied it for so long I'd be emotionally attached to it. Hair is just hair to them.

[Angela_Rose]

We're all friends but I haven't been there very long so we're not super close. The person who suggested it is the type of person who doesn't realise what she's saying might offend people. None of them have ever grown their hair long before, they hadn't thought that having babied it for so long I'd be emotionally attached to it. Hair is just hair to them.

Bold, mine.

Those weirdos!! :bigtongue::wink::lol:

[Elizabeth E]

I agree so much. My hair is not yet long enough to get that comment so I don't yet know how Locks of Love obsessed people are around here, but I already know my response. I'll patiently tell them that I am planning to have my organs donated when I die - that's true; since you're dead, it's not like you're going to use them anymore - and that donating an organ can actually save a life. Hair is a merely aesthetic thing...and there are synthetic alternatives. With organs there aren't.
So I'm growing my hair out for myself, thank you very much.

[Glitch]

I agree so much. My hair is not yet long enough to get that comment so I don't yet know how Locks of Love obsessed people are around here, but I already know my response. I'll patiently tell them that I am planning to have my organs donated when I die - that's true; since you're dead, it's not like you're going to use them anymore - and that donating an organ can actually save a life. Hair is a merely aesthetic thing...and there are synthetic alternatives. With organs there aren't.
So I'm growing my hair out for myself, thank you very much.

I always wonder why that thought doesn’t cross the minds of those who tell others to donate. After all, nobody would have long hair if it always ended up getting donated it. For some it’s even grown and never cut for religious purposes (Sikhism, for example). Moreover, it’s technically more selfish (sarcasm) of people with short lengths to keep cutting and coloring, when they should be growing it out to donate. *Eyeroll* I just find it very bizarre to impose your own beliefs on someone else, especially when it concerns their body. As many have shared here, there are often already wonderful contributions they make to charity, and it’s ridiculous to be asked to make another when they have no clue what you’ve already been doing and sacrificing.

[DryadicSeaNymph]

I always wonder why that thought doesn’t cross the minds of those who tell others to donate. After all, nobody would have long hair if it always ended up getting donated it. For some it’s even grown and never cut for religious purposes (Sikhism, for example). Moreover, it’s technically more selfish (sarcasm) of people with short lengths to keep cutting and coloring, when they should be growing it out to donate. *Eyeroll* I just find it very bizarre to impose your own beliefs on someone else, especially when it concerns their body. As many have shared here, there are often already wonderful contributions they make to charity, and it’s ridiculous to be asked to make another when they have no clue what you’ve already been doing and sacrificing.

It is my opinion that 95% of these comments come from jealousy, and only about 5% from innocent ignorance.

That's why these conversations simply do not compare to any other conversation had over similar topics, like volunteering time and other types of donations including blood and organs.

I sound awful saying it, but I stand by my observation.

[Glitch]

It is my opinion that 95% of these comments come from jealousy, and only about 5% from innocent ignorance.

That's why these conversations simply do not compare to any other conversation had over similar topics, like volunteering time and other types of donations including blood and organs.

I sound awful saying it, but I stand by my observation.

No, you don't sound awful at all! I completely agree with you. It's just the honest truth of the matter.

As I've said before, I have always found this whole 'telling people to donate hair' thing to be very strange. My thoughts have never went to the donation aspect whenever I've seen someone with beautiful long locks. Further, it's just common sense to not tell someone what to do with their body, and so I do assume the majority don't mean it with the purest of intentions (insecurity, jealousy, etc.). To me it's like seeing someone with a super car, and asking them if they've considered donating it, lol. :doh:

[DryadicSeaNymph]

To me it's like seeing someone with a super car, and asking them if they've considered donating it, lol. :doh:

Lol! Yes. True. :)

[cjk]

Anyone who knows me in real life is aware that charity is one of my biggest motivators. In fact, I have shaved my head for charity and the beard competitions in which I compete are also charitable events.

To ask me if I plan to donate would make sense.

To NOT ask that question would actually be inconsistent, logically.

[DryadicSeaNymph]

Anyone who knows me in real life is aware that charity is one of my biggest motivators. In fact, I have shaved my head for charity and the beard competitions in which I compete are also charitable events.

To ask me if I plan to donate would make sense.

To NOT ask that question would actually be inconsistent, logically.

As you said though, anyone who KNOWS *you*.

[leayellena]

I'd donate blood, money, toys or clothes. I actually donated toys and clothes in the past and I did it since last year. Waiting a bit this year because I have some problems of my own... I can't find the time and strength to clean the whole house and sort out some clothes. My man donates money to Aktion Mensch (German Organisation for helping people). We donated some of his old clothes too last year. So yeah people need more than just a wig. I don't want to seem rude but I am pretty sure wigs actually are sold to beauty gurus ;)

[Lady Stardust]

I don’t get asked about donating my hair because it is still short!

With all the discussion about donation though I thought I’d post this link for a UK register to find matches for stem cell and/or bone marrow donors.
https://www.dkms.org.uk/en/register-now

I joined the register at a gig I went to. One of the musicians had a connection with Mike Peters from The Alarm. Any gig that has a connection with Mike Peters has a recruiting contingent sent along and they do DNA swabs on the spot. They will also go into businesses to do multiple registrations.

I’m on the blood donor register but I’m AB+ and as has been mentioned above, it’s not useful! They can’t even use blood plasma because I’ve been pregnant.

[MoonRabbit]

I have read many posts about members that get harassed by this question. I've never experienced it first hand...yet and hopefully never but if someone was asking/telling me in a snarky way (which usually is the case for you guys) I wouldn't even encourage them with a response. Seems to me these people just want to brag about being a "good" person and they feel superior to the rest because of this great deed. In my eyes that just makes me feel like they only did it to get the bragging rights and that goes against what charity/donating is all about.

[elsiedeluxe]

I have gotten these comments, when I was doing a big chop. I just ignore them. One time a person I didn't know took it upon herself to private message me on Facebook, encouraging me to donate my hair. I swear I am not making that up. My SIL donates every few years, and she sometimes asks if I'm going to donate mine when I get it cut. I just say nope, not interested. If a stranger asked me if I was going to donate, I think I would just say something like, nope, I'm still using it myself.

Seriously, if someone is so rude that they think it's ok to tell me what to do with my body, I think that lets me off the hook from having to offer an explanation, or even be polite. Nope nope nope.

[Glitch]

I have gotten these comments, when I was doing a big chop. I just ignore them. One time a person I didn't know took it upon herself to private message me on Facebook, encouraging me to donate my hair. I swear I am not making that up. My SIL donates every few years, and she sometimes asks if I'm going to donate mine when I get it cut. I just say nope, not interested. If a stranger asked me if I was going to donate, I think I would just say something like, nope, I'm still using it myself.

Seriously, if someone is so rude that they think it's ok to tell me what to do with my body, I think that lets me off the hook from having to offer an explanation, or even be polite. Nope nope nope.

:thumbsup:

[Milady_DeWinter]

I'm so happy that it isn't a popular thing in my country. I'd be highly annoyed by it. I'm an organ donor, but my hair??? Leave-it-alone!