Hair woes

[kjm777]

Please stop me from going to the hairdressers I need an intervention :patrol: I made the mistake of thinking I could have a small trim after three months of growing hair, however it was a big mistake as she took too much off and I am really disheartened. I have strange curly and wavy hair that looks different every time I wash it. It is in a chin length bob which I just have to tie back as I can't do anything with it. I am going on holiday next August and want to go 8 months without a trim but I'm so afraid of splits. Please give me some good advice guys on how to do this. I am so fed up at the moment.

[höpönasu]

Self trim and S&D. :o Also you could buy something nice for yourself with the money you'd be spending for a cut in hair saloon.

[kjm777]

I cant self trim I have layered short curly hair. Its easy to self trim when hair is long and one length, but thanks for your reply :)

[Madora]

I don't have your hair type, but to protect your hair, generally speaking while you are away:

1. Cover it with a WHITE straw hat or white silk scarf when outdoors
2. Moisturize daily with a few drops of Mineral Oil (aka baby oil). You put the oil on your hands (2 drops, no more), then apply your hands through all your hair. Do it several times until the oil sheen has vanished from your palms. MO is very lightweight, dead cheap, leaves no after scent, helps tame frizzies, and is a great moisturizer and detangler. Washes out easily in your next shampoo. If you decide to try it, Johnson and Johnson makes a great baby oil (has a pink cap). BE SURE your MO only contains the oil plus a fragrance, nothing else! Additives make MO less effective. For best results with MO, do it on hair that has been clarified first! If you clarify your hair, be sure to follow up right afterwards with a conditioning treatment. The clarifying shampoo effectively strips everything from your hair, leaving it feeling..and looking..like hay. That is exactly what is supposed to do! You do the conditioning treatment afterwards to restore your hair to its former self.
3. Wear your hair UP as much as possible. Be sure and use hair friendly clips and don't pull your hair too tightly. Avoid ponytails, please, for the sake of your hair! If you confine it, tie it back with a soft ribbon, or a scarf, or with a one piece barrette/clip...or with a Flexi 8, if you really want to make an impression! Lovely to look at, very ease to use! Comes in various sizes!
4. Gently detangle your hair with a wide tooth comb every day. Very important with your type of hair! If you do wear it loose, then take the time during the day to detangle it. Don't wait until end of day to deal with your tangled hair. Tangles only generate more tangles, leading to more time spent detangling...and if you are not gentle and detangle slowly, expect mechanical damage from dealing with all that tangled mess! Be proactive..protect your hair from the wind. Confine it...somehow...safely!
5. If you have a silk pillow case cover, consider bringing it along with you.
6. Try braids! They are cute, easy to do, safely confine the hair and keep tangles at bay!
7. Have a good, sharp pair of scissors and do weekly S and Ding to your ends! Be sure and do it in BRIGHT light. Don't strain your eyes!
8. Lastly, if you ever step inside a salon again, find a place where they know how to care for your hair type! SHOW THEM WITH A RULER/TAPE MEASURE how little you want trimmed away. Make them repeat it! They work for you. You should not be intimidated by them. You're paying for a service. You deserve to get what you ask for!
9. Have a great vacay! And be sure to protect your scalp from the sun/wind!

[lapushka]

S&D on a regular basis and make sure you moisturize the hair well! Using a leave-in and an oil/serum on the hair after washing is no luxury. Do make sure to use just a tiny, *tiny* bit as your hair is quite short for product overload. It should be able to go a few years without trimming.

[embee]

Splits are not the most evil thing on the planet. Quite likely you can wait until your hair is long enough to do S&D, since you recently had a trim. Madora is right, very lightly oil as she suggests, and detangle often... morning, noon, and night. It's easy to keep on top of tangles that way. Lapushka nailed it when she said "a few years" without trimming. If you work steadily and gently on detangling you're likely to just keep right on growing.

If you think your hair looks "funny", please be aware that some people probably pay good money to get whatever style/shape you have. ;) And as it grows, it will change.

Put away the scissors for now. Wait until Easter, maybe even summer, to even think about S&D.

[molljo]

I'm going to respectfully disagree with the posters who said for you to detangle every day. You have curly hair, which tends to be quite delicate, and I worry that doing so will cause you more breakage in the long run than preventing damage. Ideally curly hair should only be detangled in the shower, slathered in conditioner. Keep your hair moisturized and get some sharp scissors to S&D what you can every week or so.

[embee]

Well molljo, you may be entirely correct. I'm not a curly at all. I do know that tangles can create all sorts of hair problems, not to mention frustration, and that's one thing the OP doesn't need. So she should be detangling in the shower with a wide tooth comb and plenty of conditioner for good slip? And then wrap her hair to dry? Is this curly-girl method?

[hairpleasegrow]

I cut off way too much hair last year because I had been looking at the beautiful heads of hair on the LHC thinking that my hair was extremely damaged in comparison. My hair is much better than when I first joined because of the trims (I cut at least 4- 5 inches off). Despite my trims my ends always end up looking tattered after a few months time. In fact I was just looking at my hair thinking ...if only I hadn't cut it last year! I would be at BSL by now!

I am NOT trimming this year. Do what is best for you but remember on average most people only grow about 6 inches per year. Ask yourself how long you want your hair to be in a years time, and budget how much to take off. I wouldn't trust a hairdresser. I don't know the state of your hair but my advice would be to baby your ends and your hair, S and D only, and do not cut. I would grow it and grow it to the length you want, then start trimming at that point. At least that is what I would have done for myself in hindsight ! :)

[kjm777]

Thank you, I really appreciate all your replies :)

[chelsea89ms]

Everyone here has such wonderful advice :) The only thing I have to add is when my hair was shorter, just short enough to see the ends but still too short to properly S&D, I would stand in front of the mirror and S&D a small section every day. It was hard for me to cut one strand just looking in a mirror. But as long as I only checked one curl at a time, then only held the hair with the split while I cut strait across it worked perfectly. Just make sure you use a good pair of sharp hair only scissors, I must hide mine from my husband for this reason :whistle:

Also I second the mineral oil, it makes my hair super easy to detangle. Its really great for moisture too, http://ktanihairsense.blogspot.com/2011/12/mineral-oil-and-hair-care-and-skin.html

[Madora]

Well molljo, you may be entirely correct. I'm not a curly at all. I do know that tangles can create all sorts of hair problems, not to mention frustration, and that's one thing the OP doesn't need. So she should be detangling in the shower with a wide tooth comb and plenty of conditioner for good slip? And then wrap her hair to dry? Is this curly-girl method?

Precisely this^^^^^^, to the max! Curly hair is very delicate, by the nature of its structure. You need to be extra careful handling it...and keeping it untangled. That means careful daily detangling with a wide tooth comb. This will take a boatload of time depending on how curly the hair is...and how badly it is tangled.

By NOT detangling every day, you are only making a horrid situation worse. The hair is matted/snarled...daily wear and tear only makes the knots/tangles WORSE. Snarls in curly hair are like tumbleweeds...as they go along, they add more brambles, weeds, twigs to their circumference...and what was a small tumbleweed can grow into a monster mass of tangled herbiage in no time flat. You don't want happening to your curly hair because added mats mean more mechanical damage as you try to detangle your hair thru the godawful mess!

Curly hair has to be detangled very slowly, in THIN, SMALL strips. You cannot "rush" detangling curly hair. It is a very painstaking procedure and calls for a bucketload of patience.


















[/COLOR]

[lapushka]

If it's curly, please *only* detangle when it's wet and full of conditioner. Or, in a pinch after it comes out of the towel damp at the very very latest. Never dry, and no not even with a comb as that can lead to frizzy, poofy hair. But I bet you already know how to deal with it. ;)

[sarahthegemini]

Precisely this^^^^^^, to the max! Curly hair is very delicate, by the nature of its structure. You need to be extra careful handling it...and keeping it untangled. That means careful daily detangling with a wide tooth comb. This will take a boatload of time depending on how curly the hair is...and how badly it is tangled.

By NOT detangling every day, you are only making a horrid situation worse. The hair is matted/snarled...daily wear and tear only makes the knots/tangles WORSE. Snarls in curly hair are like tumbleweeds...as they go along, they add more brambles, weeds, twigs to their circumference...and what was a small tumbleweed can grow into a monster mass of tangled herbiage in no time flat. You don't want happening to your curly hair because added mats mean more mechanical damage as you try to detangle your hair thru the godawful mess!

Curly hair has to be detangled very slowly, in THIN, SMALL strips. You cannot "rush" detangling curly hair. It is a very painstaking procedure and calls for a bucketload of patience.


















[/COLOR]

I'm sorry but, with all due respect - that is completely and utterly false. Curly hair is never going to be 100% tangle free, to quote another member here, "it is the nature of the beast" And unless a person is rolling around and jumping through hedges, it is very unlikely they'll end up with 'tumble weed hair'

Generally speaking detangling curly hair should be done when covered in conditioner to prevent breakage. It does not need daily dry detangling.

[jeanniet]

I'm sorry but, with all due respect - that is completely and utterly false. Curly hair is never going to be 100% tangle free, to quote another member here, "it is the nature of the beast" And unless a person is rolling around and jumping through hedges, it is very unlikely they'll end up with 'tumble weed hair'

Generally speaking detangling curly hair should be done when covered in conditioner to prevent breakage. It does not need daily dry detangling.

Surprisingly, curly hair can be tangle-free, although you are quite right about not detangling dry, especially not every day. When I was trying to do things the "right" way--detangling morning and evening--my hair was constantly tangled, because I was breaking up my curl pattern. Now I detangle wet only, every few days when I wash my hair, and I have no tangling problems because the curl pattern remains intact. My hair isn't particularly delicate, either, although it's relatively fine.

Anything done that breaks up the curl pattern is going to cause problems. The curl pattern needs to be kept together, not broken apart. Handling it wet will accomplish that; doing it dry will make a mess of it, no matter how slowly or carefully done.

[Annalouise]

If it's curly, please *only* detangle when it's wet and full of conditioner. Or, in a pinch after it comes out of the towel damp at the very very latest. Never dry, and no not even with a comb as that can lead to frizzy, poofy hair. But I bet you already know how to deal with it. ;)

Lapushka- when you say "curly" what types are you referring to? I am about 2b is that curly? Or wavy? Or straight?

[Annalouise]

I'm sorry but, with all due respect - that is completely and utterly false. Curly hair is never going to be 100% tangle free, to quote another member here, "it is the nature of the beast" And unless a person is rolling around and jumping through hedges, it is very unlikely they'll end up with 'tumble weed hair'

Generally speaking detangling curly hair should be done when covered in conditioner to prevent breakage. It does not need daily dry detangling.

Would you mind clarifying for me what you mean by "curly"? I have 2 b hair but.... its always tangled. It's never not tangled. In fact, after I detangle it its still tangled. What I mean is I can NEVER run my fingers through my hair.

So the OP is a 2C, is her hair curly or wavy? Is 2b hair curly, wavy or straight?

[molljo]

Would you mind clarifying for me what you mean by "curly"? I have 2 b hair but.... its always tangled. It's never not tangled. In fact, after I detangle it its still tangled. What I mean is I can NEVER run my fingers through my hair.

So the OP is a 2C, is her hair curly or wavy? Is 2b hair curly, wavy or straight?

OP is 3a/3b, not sure where you're getting 2c. 1 is straight, 2 is wavy, 3 is curly, 4 is super curly/kinky. When you get into the -c categorizations, that usually means a border (for example: 1c is mostly straight but kinda wavy, 2c is mostly wavy but kinda curly, etc.).

As a 2b you are definitely wavy.

[jeanniet]

2s are wavy, 3s are curly, but if you have constant tangling issues it's also possible you're curlier than you thought. Constant combing and brushing will pull curl out to the point where you might not even realize you're curly--I know, because I thought I had 2b/c hair until I got to LHC and was still unhappy with my hair despite following all the advice. It was exactly like yours--constantly tangled even right after detangling. It wasn't until I put two and two together and started following a modified curly girl routine that my curls really started to pop. It might be worthwhile trying a routine for curlier hair and seeing if it helps.

[ARG]

I'm a 1b for sure, and I don't bother to detangle my hair every day, sometimes I'll go the full week without even looking at a comb/brush. I'll finger comb, then braid and bun. Cones help me do this, and I find my hair and scalp are happier with less manipulation.

For the OP, while I have stated I'm not a curly, I'd definitely practice a huge dose of benign neglect. Set yourself an SD schedule so you're not tempted to cut it, and try not to use a pony in the same place every time you tie your hair back, that will cause breakage. Look into getting a small or extra small flexi-8 for some hair accessorizing, or make a special hair toy you've been looking at as a goal for succeeding at going the full 8 months without trims.

I haven't had a trim since April, so its been a while for me. Some SDing, and moisturizing, and just ignoring my hair is helping loads.

[meteor]

You already got some excellent advice here! :)
I'll just add that there are hairdressers that specialize on cutting curly hair. For haircuts or trims on curlies, it's extremely important to focus on the curl pattern, which is why they cut dry, for example. You might have gone to a hairdresser who didn't understand your curl pattern so you don't like the look/maintenance as much. If you still want a hairdresser in the future (self-trims are a great alternative, of course!), look for one that specializes on curly hair. There are salons out there that seem to understand curly hair needs better, like Ouidad and ethnic hair salons, for example.

[anastasiashea]

Precisely this^^^^^^, to the max! Curly hair is very delicate, by the nature of its structure. You need to be extra careful handling it...and keeping it untangled. That means careful daily detangling with a wide tooth comb. This will take a boatload of time depending on how curly the hair is...and how badly it is tangled.

By NOT detangling every day, you are only making a horrid situation worse. The hair is matted/snarled...daily wear and tear only makes the knots/tangles WORSE. Snarls in curly hair are like tumbleweeds...as they go along, they add more brambles, weeds, twigs to their circumference...and what was a small tumbleweed can grow into a monster mass of tangled herbiage in no time flat. You don't want happening to your curly hair because added mats mean more mechanical damage as you try to detangle your hair thru the godawful mess!

Curly hair has to be detangled very slowly, in THIN, SMALL strips. You cannot "rush" detangling curly hair. It is a very painstaking procedure and calls for a bucketload of patience.





Hmm, this is not how my curly hair acts at all. If I detangle, it makes it much, much more likely to tangle. If I take a hands off approach, I can go a few days with very little tangling. I guess it's just different for everyone!

[jeanniet]

Hmm, this is not how my curly hair acts at all. If I detangle, it makes it much, much more likely to tangle. If I take a hands off approach, I can go a few days with very little tangling. I guess it's just different for everyone!

Your instincts are correct. Detangling frequently is not the way to maintain curly hair. The less you handle your hair between washes, the better. Try not to worry too much. Using a leave in will help to keep your hair moisturized and will encourage clumping as well. I also agree with finding a good curly stylist. They can help you to grow your hair while keeping your curls looking their best.

[Annalouise]

OP is 3a/3b, not sure where you're getting 2c. 1 is straight, 2 is wavy, 3 is curly, 4 is super curly/kinky. When you get into the -c categorizations, that usually means a border (for example: 1c is mostly straight but kinda wavy, 2c is mostly wavy but kinda curly, etc.).

As a 2b you are definitely wavy.

Thanks!


2s are wavy, 3s are curly, but if you have constant tangling issues it's also possible you're curlier than you thought. Constant combing and brushing will pull curl out to the point where you might not even realize you're curly--I know, because I thought I had 2b/c hair until I got to LHC and was still unhappy with my hair despite following all the advice. It was exactly like yours--constantly tangled even right after detangling. It wasn't until I put two and two together and started following a modified curly girl routine that my curls really started to pop. It might be worthwhile trying a routine for curlier hair and seeing if it helps.

I'll take a picture and ask people to type my hair to be sure. Thanks!

[jeanniet]

Thanks!



I'll take a picture and ask people to type my hair to be sure. Thanks!

Make sure when you do, you let it air dry without touching it. Detangle in the shower instead. If you comb or brush it dry, it'll alter the wave pattern and you won't get an acccurate typing. Also bear in mind that curl pattern can strengthen over the first few months of a curly routine, because you're not doing anything to damage the pattern, so whatever you're typed as now could possibly change. I started CG as about a 2c/3a, and it took a few months to fully show the real pattern. Prior to that I'd been combing and brushing daily and the curl was just completely supressed.

[Anje]

Please stop me from going to the hairdressers I need an intervention :patrol: I made the mistake of thinking I could have a small trim after three months of growing hair, however it was a big mistake as she took too much off and I am really disheartened. I have strange curly and wavy hair that looks different every time I wash it. It is in a chin length bob which I just have to tie back as I can't do anything with it. I am going on holiday next August and want to go 8 months without a trim but I'm so afraid of splits. Please give me some good advice guys on how to do this. I am so fed up at the moment.

If you want to go for a long period without a trim, do it! Chances are that it'll be at the end of your vacation that you'd do best with a trim anyway, in case you wore it down more than usual or weren't good about washing salt or pool water out of your hair, etc.

Trimming before you get split ends just trims healthy ends, so preventative trims aren't worth a whole lot. (Arguably, they are worth something because they do reduce weathered ends, but how long you can go between trims is something worth figuring out first anyway, so you don't unnecessarily lose length.) You'll do better waiting til the hairs start actually splitting before you snip them. When you do get splits, if you have some sharp hair shears you can snip just the split ends off yourself. Around here, this is "search and destroy", or S&D.

If all you can do with your bob is tie it back, tie it back when you want. Half-ups are often cute! At those lengths, there's not a whole lot of damage that can be done that you're not actively causing, so wear your hair how you wish. If it starts getting raggedy from rubbing on your collar, clip it up. Once it starts touching chairs, wear it up more to prevent it from getting rubbed between your back and the furniture.

Experiment with your routine. Read up on the Curly Girl method if you haven't -- even if you don't completely implement it, it could help considerably. Some days your hair will be curly, some days it'll be more wavy, some days it'll just plain be big; it's the nature of the beast, and only the straightest-haired folks don't experience at least some of that. (And they often complain that it's limp and looks thinner than it is, so the grass isn't any greener.) Invest in alcohol-free gels and curl cremes. And when you're sick of it, clip your hair up or brush it out into a big fluffy cloud. You've got a million things you can do even now. But cutting won't get you closer to your long-haired goals.

[meteor]

^^ That's such an excellent post, Anje! And that would be exactly what I'd do, too.
I think for your holiday (assuming it's a hot, sunny place), it's important to bring a rich conditioner, use coconut oil (or possibly other oils), especially before you swim, and keep hair covered with a scarf or hat when you are out in the sun. Beware of chlorine, salt, UV rays - they can be very drying to hair.

[Annalouise]

Thanks Jeanniet. I'll do that on my next washday hopefully. :)