Layers and trim advice wanted.

[Bunnygirl]

I'm having major anxiety and maybe all of you smart gals can help me. A few weeks ago, I went to a new hairdresser b/c my collarbone length hair was very thick at the ends and looked awful. I wanted a few long layers to thin it out a bit while I grow it out. Well I now have the mess that I posted in my thread a couple of weeks ago. While not a total tragedy, its way too layered and I hate it.

She said to get trims every three months if I'm growing it. Now I don't want to go back b/c I hate my hair so much but I'm afraid of having anyone else trim it as the layers grow out. Should I go to someone else or have my stylist sister do it?

How often should I really be trimming, how much and what if I get split ends before my trim?

[Chromis]

I'm having major anxiety and maybe all of you smart gals can help me. A few weeks ago, I went to a new hairdresser b/c my collarbone length hair was very thick at the ends and looked awful. I wanted a few long layers to thin it out a bit while I grow it out. Well I now have the mess that I posted in my thread a couple of weeks ago. While not a total tragedy, its way too layered and I hate it.

She said to get trims every three months if I'm growing it. Now I don't want to go back b/c I hate my hair so much but I'm afraid of having anyone else trim it as the layers grow out. Should I go to someone else or have my stylist sister do it?

How often should I really be trimming, how much and what if I get split ends before my trim?

If you don't like the job that she did, why would you even consider going back? It's layering, not a Rembrandt! :p Really though, many people find their hair is pretty rough looking at that length.

[Bunnygirl]

My sister is too scissor happy which is why I don't go to her.

But with my layers, how can I self trim? Should I just let it go and grow and nip off a teensy bit when I see split ends?

[Chromis]

I would just let it grow for now, it's an awkward length and trimming isn't going to get you to a happier one more quickly :)

I'm not experienced with self-trimming at that length but I do love it. No salons for me! Once you get to BSL trimming with Feye's method is pretty easy and I'm sure others can give you insight on how that'll work when shorter.

*If* it were my head, I would let it grow until BSL snipping off splits as needed. Then I'd evaluate if the ends needed any neatening up to help get rid of those layers (I should interject that I really dislike layers though so YMMV) and trim as needed. For me I landed up trimming off an inch or two at BSL, waist and tailbone to keep the hemline I like.

[Bunnygirl]

Thanks for the words everyone. I hate layers too, but my hair did look rough and I wanted a very subtle layering. No so!

I plan on just leaving it alone but since the ends are the leftovers from when my hair was bleached over a year ago, it will start to split in a few months. I worry if I don't trim the splits they will travel up and ruin my hair.

but trimming layers is very scary to me!:confused:

[Flaxen]

Bunnygirl, I've moved your question to its own thread because I think you'll get more help that way. :flower:

If I were where you are (and I was, long ago), I'd let my hair grow without trims. You could do S&D (search and destroy) missions on individual splits, but honestly, to achieve longer hair, one has to stop cutting. If your hemline is satisfactory to you, and you don't have damage you want to get rid of, there is no need to trim your hair. At all.

This is a good time to start developing the patience it takes to grow long hair. Learn how to leave your hair alone. Put it in a pony stub when you can, and forget about it. If you can do that, you'll turn around and wonder how you got to armpit length. Time will have passed, and you will have developed a very valuable skill. And believe me, you're going to need it when you're growing from midback to waist. ;)

[ladyshannonanne]

That length is just annoying when you're trying to grow out! Just put it up for a few months and try to forget about it. I've worn my hair up for six months now, and I haven't needed a trim at all.

[Bunnygirl]

I wear my hair down 2 days a week, if that. its always up in my bun, and it seems so much healthier when I let it down after being up for a while. I'll do search and destroy and let it grow. I'm patient, I can do it! Thanks so much for your help.

I remember when I had very long hair in high school I wore it up for a year and presto, it was long, lol.

[Delila]

... This is a good time to start developing the patience it takes to grow long hair. Learn how to leave your hair alone. ...

I agree!

Be patient.

Stylists are by their nature NOT patient, they work and cope with the heads of hair that are in front of them right this moment. Most of them need to cut to earn $$$, (or even just to keep their spot in the salon) and generally don't try to persuade people to visit them less often. It's true they make a lot of money from things like color, perms and extensions, but regular trims are their bread and butter.

[kittymomma]

I use an adjustable floor mirror for trims now, the kind you can ramp up and down and use to see the back of your head from different angles in a larger mirror...

I did a major trim because my hair started falling out BADLY from anemia causes...but nobody can seem to cut my hair the way I like it, with the thin wispys and the cowlicks!

I wear it up most of the time anyway, so it's not a huge deal, but I just can't be satisfied payin $50 or more for a layered haircut...I just hold the bottom of it a bit further from my body before I cut!

[papillon]

A few weeks ago, I went to a new hairdresser b/c my collarbone length hair was very thick at the ends and looked awful. I wanted a few long layers to thin it out a bit while I grow it out. Well I now have the mess that I posted in my thread a couple of weeks ago. While not a total tragedy, its way too layered and I hate it.

You've basically described my last trim! Except instead of layers, too much was taken off for a "trim." Instead of a slightly shorter than collarbone, I ended up with ear-length. Ok, that might be an exaggeration, but it felt that way! :( I've decided I'm never going back to the same place for another hair cut.

I'm taking care of the hair I have now and letting it grow. I'm being really good about keeping it healthy, and treating it as I did when it was almost tailbone. I'm just doing search and destroy until it's around BSL. At least that's my current goal. :grin:

[Aditi]

Right now the only advice i can give you is apply oil in your hair and braid it. Avoid trimming and the most important advice BE PATIENT. Your hair will grow to its length after sometime. Regular application of oil will lower down the rate of split-ends and hair damage and it will also help you in incresing your hair length. My BEST WISHES.

[Katze]

*small hijack*

Aditi, oil doesn't work for all hair types! When I first started doing natural hair care, I had a black roommate who wore her hair natural and did her own dreads. I learned a TON from her about vinegar, shea butter, rhassoul, oil...but what worked on her C, 4, iii hair did not work on mine. Still, she taught me that there ARE different hair types...something very important to knowing about hair care. I wish I could oil my hair, but, like many fine hairs and some M haired people, it is often just too much, meaning we have to wash deeper and more often if we oil our hair. Oh, and lighter-colored hair looks bad when it's over-oiled. Really bad. ;)

*end hijack*

Now back to the question. At your length, I either went to a salon and had them trim JUST the ends (I would get very firm with them) or had a friend do it. Depending on your hair type, trimming someone else's hair is NOT rocket science - if you are a straightie, it can be quite easy. For someone like my BF (2c/3a) it starts getting harder.

At around 23 inches, i could easily trim my own ends, and still do. I can't trim the layers, so I am just S&D -ing them as much as possible and hoping for them to slowly catch up with the ends. If you look at my avatar pic you can see that I still have a ways to go, but slowly, slowly, my hair is thickening up as the layers grow out.

I read between the lines here that you want to get rid of the heavy layers. The only way to do that is to grow them out. You can slowly trim the ends to thicken them up, maybe every 2-6 months or so, but if you do not want such a hairdo again, be very, very careful when asking someone to cut your hair. Getting more layers will only slow down the process of having more hair at one length.

hth

[Aditi]

*small hijack*

Aditi, oil doesn't work for all hair types! When I first started doing natural hair care, I had a black roommate who wore her hair natural and did her own dreads. I learned a TON from her about vinegar, shea butter, rhassoul, oil...but what worked on her C, 4, iii hair did not work on mine. Still, she taught me that there ARE different hair types...something very important to knowing about hair care. I wish I could oil my hair, but, like many fine hairs and some M haired people, it is often just too much, meaning we have to wash deeper and more often if we oil our hair. Oh, and lighter-colored hair looks bad when it's over-oiled. Really bad. ;)

*end hijack*

Now back to the question. At your length, I either went to a salon and had them trim JUST the ends (I would get very firm with them) or had a friend do it. Depending on your hair type, trimming someone else's hair is NOT rocket science - if you are a straightie, it can be quite easy. For someone like my BF (2c/3a) it starts getting harder.

At around 23 inches, i could easily trim my own ends, and still do. I can't trim the layers, so I am just S&D -ing them as much as possible and hoping for them to slowly catch up with the ends. If you look at my avatar pic you can see that I still have a ways to go, but slowly, slowly, my hair is thickening up as the layers grow out.

I read between the lines here that you want to get rid of the heavy layers. The only way to do that is to grow them out. You can slowly trim the ends to thicken them up, maybe every 2-6 months or so, but if you do not want such a hairdo again, be very, very careful when asking someone to cut your hair. Getting more layers will only slow down the process of having more hair at one length.

hth
Something new i came across today thanks to you. I always thought that oil is suitable for all hair types, but i have learned that its not so.