Calling all Curlies - Silicones, Detangling, Mechanical Damage.....

[nikolette]

I've got unpredictable curly hair - sometimes the curls are actually waves, sometimes they are tight, sometimes they are very frizzy sometimes very smooth.... How my hair will dry is completely and totally unpredictable. The only thing that is predictable are the TANGLES. My hair TANGLES AND TANGLES AND TANGLES - I need to spend considerable time in the shower detangling. I onyl wash my every every few days and by the time I get to shower on the 3rd day, my hair is sooooo tangled.

Recently I stopped using Silicones in my conditioner (after hearing silicones are bad news for the curly hair) and I am finding that I am having A LOT of trouble detangling my hair. I slather on the silicone free conditioner and I still feel like I am doing a lot of mechanical damage trying to dentangle my hair....even when I am patient! I have found that the silicones in conditioner is what helps do a painless and easy detangling.... I feel like this is a curly hair conundrum!

So, CURLIES - speak up! Spread some wisdom or shed some light on this...
Is there anyone out there who has experienced this same problem? What was your final solution?
Curlies, to silicone or not to silicone?
What's your curly girl method?

Edit: I should also mention that I started using Lapushka's Wash-Cond-Cond and this helped a bit, but still feel liek I am doing considerable mechanical damage!

[LadyCelestina]

The bit about cones is :bull:. If you shampoo (sulfate or sulfate free),you can do cones.And no they don't suffocate hair or anything :) At worst they might build up -then you need to clarify. Cones are great if you have tangly hair,and especially thick and long tangly hair.I can't use most conefree conditioners,simply because since I hit BSL (not sure if you measure wet or dry,by bsl I mean dry length) I could go through a bottle of conefree conditioner in one wash.They just don't have the slip and I end up impatient and breaking hairs.If I absolutely have to use a cone free conditioner,I detangle a bit with oil while dry.

I detangle my hair with fingers or a comb between washes,comb it very well while soaked in coney conditioner,keep it oiled and most important,keep it UP or in a BRAID.Sometimes I have no tangles by the end of the day.
We have similar hair stats so my advice might work for you- I hope it does! :flower:

[LadyCelestina]

Oh and...curl pattern.My personal opinion is that if you want long curly hair,you need to forget the idea of having perfect defined frizzless curls all the time.Some may disagree and sure there are exceptions,and that's okay.

Then again I've never had really long hair,so I might be wrong.

[nikolette]

The bit about cones is :bull:. If you shampoo (sulfate or sulfate free),you can do cones.And no they don't suffocate hair or anything :) At worst they might build up -then you need to clarify. Cones are great if you have tangly hair,and especially thick and long tangly hair.I can't use most conefree conditioners,simply because since I hit BSL (not sure if you measure wet or dry,by bsl I mean dry length) I could go through a bottle of conefree conditioner in one wash.They just don't have the slip and I end up impatient and breaking hairs.If I absolutely have to use a cone free conditioner,I detangle a bit with oil while dry.

I detangle my hair with fingers or a comb between washes,comb it very well while soaked in coney conditioner,keep it oiled and most important,keep it UP or in a BRAID.Sometimes I have no tangles by the end of the day.
We have similar hair stats so my advice might work for you- I hope it does! :flower:

Thanks ! I have had in stuck in my head that I shouldn't be using cones since they have such a bad reputation particularly with curlies.... even though I feel like my tangly curls are begging for cones! I use sulfate free shampoo as I feel my curly hair is prone to being dry - actually, I use Baby Shampoo at the moment because its inexpensive and I feel like it really does clean while being gentle. Are you using a sulfate or sulfate free shampoo? Also, how often do you find you are clarifying using cones? Do you have a favorite conditioner at the moment?

I agree with you about length curls and frizziness, and I actually don't mind a bit of poof and frizz as long as its not too insane looking - HAHA.

[LadyCelestina]

It's not relevant for those who use shampoo.Avoiding cones is somewhat necessary for those who co-wash,wo -wash,simply those who don't use shampoo :)

I like baby shampoo's too! In fact right now I alternate baby shampoo by a brand that only sells in my country (there's a proper adjective for that but I can't remember :lol: ) and Le petit Marseilliais Shea and honey,which is a 'cream' type shampoo (= has a lot of conditioning ingredients).Both are sulfate.But I have no problems with using sulfate free shampoo. I have more issues with different brands than I have with sulfate vs. non sulfate.
Besides that - I read that the more variety of cleansing agents a shampoo contains the gentler it actually is on hair.I don't know if it's true.Maybe you can google it...
I rarely clarify,it all sort of gets rinsed with my normal shampoos.Again,this is more a matter of certain products and certain product combinations that cause feeling of build up on hair for me.Not what I normally use...Shea butter + hair cream + baby shampoo gave me build up from HELL.
My fav conditioner is Pantene Aqua Light or the cheap green conditioner from Lidl ...I can use Elseve Nutrigloss in the pink bottle and Nivea long repair it's called I think?...Not sure if you can get Nivea outside Europe.

Me neither,but I happen to look a bit insane most of the time -but it suits me well :eyebrows:

[allierat]

No cones works well for my hair, but I would think if you like them then there's no point staying away from them, though there are other things you could try first. Do you deep condition or oil your hair? Both of those help me detangle/stop tangles from forming in the first place.

[Alexa]

Have you tried something like Kinky Curly Knot Today? It's a pretty powerful no-cone detangler. You can either rinse it out or use it as a leave-in.

[lapushka]

I'm no curly, just a wavy, and I need to use a harsh cleanser for my scalp. What I find helps when hair is so dry and tangle-prone from the cleansing is double conditioning, with silicone-laden products. Anyway that's the method I use, and it works, this together with LOC after for styling. That's my "curly girl" way of doing things. BTW, both methods are in my signature should you want to learn more about this.

[gthlvrmx]

Is there anyone out there who has experienced this same problem? What was your final solution?: I had tangles at first but after i started bunning my hair and carefully detangling from the bottom of my hair on up it went away more.
Curlies, to silicone or not to silicone?: No to silicones for me.
What's your curly girl method?: Use baby oil to get your hair to be smooth and easier to detangle! It comes off easily with shampoo or conditioner. Always detangle from the bottom on up.

[prettyinpink]

I did the same thing as you. I heard bad things about silicones so I went cone free and my hair was a tangled mess. I dont like using shampoo (i co wash) so I only use conditioners with Bis Aminopropyl Dimethicone because it wont build up like dimethicone does.

[Marbid]

Hello... Here is my imput..

I have experimented with the sebum only solution to maintain my hair at a bun wave so i do not have to deal with tangles and thus less mechanical damage.. It works for that, but my scalp did not like it. I tried it for a month and a half.. I am back to cones and shampoo..

My sulution for the tangles is wear my hair in a damp bun... Then it will relax the curl pattern.. And just keep it up bun or braid 90% of the time.. I only wear my hair down in its natural curl pattern on special occasions. And i dont have to deal with tangles ( barely ) or mechanical damage.. Its awesome.. Bit ofmamtrade off but tottally worth it.

[Mellenoire]

My curls have mysteriously disappeared recently but even at their coiliest (is that a word?) they loved silicones. No amount of oils whether it be coconut, olive, mineral give me the same slip and shine than 'cones. Oils tend to sit "on" my hair rather than penetrating in, even with heat. I used to wash with a sulphate containing shampoo, condition with a heavy, coney conditioner, then use a "curly" leave-in.

I tried going 'cone free for fun and all I achieved was plenty of damage from ripping knots out. It would take over an hour to detangle, even at shoulder length! I realised that as my hair gets longer, that detangling time is going to also get longer, and I didn't want to spend that sort of time just on detangling. So 'cones it is!

[butter52]

I use cones, just not heavy ones so I can wash them out with mild shampoos. Im also detangling before washing with some oil to give slip.

[Hotrox]

I use cones, they just suit me better. My hair looks better with them than without and of course they help with detangling. I use a wide tooth comb on freshly washed hair. I only do it at this time, but I'm lucky that I don't get too many knots. I also always wear my second and third day hair up, I hardly even finger comb it on these days. I do think keeping it up more prevents many snarls from forming in the first place.

[julee]

I'm not a curly, more of a wavy/wurly, and I have just gone back to cones after being conefree for year. After going back to work I don't have the time to detangle slowly and gently in the mornings and using cones means it takes much less time and there is less breakage/ ripping.

My routine is SLS conefree shampoo followed by a cheap coney conditioner with a little protein.

[Neecola]

OP, we have similar hair types. I recently went back to silicone conditioner just on the length and I am MUCH happier. I have very tangle prone hair that looks different nearly every day too :) Like LadyCelestina, I am much happier with my hair after working to accept that my hair will never be frizz free, perfect ringlets. It has its own wild sort of way and I kinda like that.

[UndineOmega]

I was cone free for several years, had a cone relapse two years ago, didn't like my hair at all and went back to cone free homemade products again.
The slip cones gave my hair (which I liked very much) also encouraged frizz and ultimately the build-up (which was totally my fault because I didn't clarify) damaged my hair.

Nowadays I lean heavily on the oils and use a lot of aloe vera gel, my hair doesn't tangle as much as before (oil slick?) and to prevent tangling I wear it up 90% of the time.

My holy grail when it comes to detangling is my Denman brush, because of the pad sliding off the handle at the slightest resistance I have less breakage and still have a brush that reaches my scalp and detangles all layers of hair (not only the 'topcoat'). It takes patience to detangle though, which I admittedly lack more often than not.