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HintOfMint
October 15th, 2014, 08:19 PM
Hi everyone! I realize I've been absent from the boards for a while now. I moved, started a new job, a new relationship (hoo boy...) and have had... very little time to myself.

But with my new schedule, I haven't been taking care of my hair at all. I would normally describe this as benign neglect but, it's kind of just neglect. On one hand, I'm washing every 4 days and wearing it up constantly. On the other hand, I'm violently brushing because I'm in a hurry, completely skipping the leave-in, and almost never doing a pre-wash oiling. S&D? Forget it.

And now my ends are crunchy and split only 3 months after my last haircut and I'm frantically searching for a reasonably priced salon in NYC (and queens and brooklyn) that won't be a hack job. (If anyone has recommendations, that would be great!)

Where's your line between benign neglect and just plain neglect?

MarlieJane
October 15th, 2014, 09:50 PM
Congrats on the new job and relationship!

I'm wavering right around that neglect line. I'm also at ~4 days between washes. I've sworn off trims and S&D for a while, but I'm not sure if that's going to help me regain my length or if I'm doing more harm than good by letting the split ends get out of control. It's a fine line, and I'm not sure which side I'm on at the moment. :confused: I guess time will tell!

LongHairLesbian
October 15th, 2014, 10:14 PM
I think that the line is between not doing things to your hair that are harmful, and not doing things to your hair that are necessary to keep it in decent shape. For me, not conditioning/oiling the length before applying shampoo and ripping through tangles is a recipe for split, damaged hair. I don't know what kind of expectations your job/partner/family has of your appearance, but if I were in your situation, I would leave my tangles and greasies hidden in a bun until I had the time to deal with them. Or I would just pick through the really bad ones with my fingers, and leave the little ones be until I have more time. That, to me, would be benign neglect; just leaving it completely alone for a while.

Aderyn
October 15th, 2014, 10:28 PM
I definitely don't recommend violently brushing your hair - that is just a complete recipe for disaster. Setting aside 5 minutes (really, 5 minutes is all you need!) to detangle your hair gently will make a world of difference.

For me, ripping through my hair is not neglect, but rather "abuse".

Madora
October 15th, 2014, 10:55 PM
Except for a 6 week period a year or two ago, I don't neglect my hair. I neglected it back then because I was going thru sad times and I didn't give a damn about anything, except my kitties.

Please, for the sake of your hair, never rip through it with a brush..or a comb! Why cause so much damage, that takes ages to repair, when it only costs a few minutes to brush properly? It makes no sense.

Your crunchy ends may be due to buildup. Try clarifying your hair with a clarifying shampoo (Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying shampoo has received good reviews here). Then immediately follow the shampooing with a deep conditioning treatment. The Neutrogena will leave your hair feeling like hay. It is supposed to be like that because the Neutrogena lifts off everything coating your strands, leaving you with a fresh start. The deep conditioning treatment restores your hair to its former self.

Why don't you try trimming your hair yourself (if you have long enough hair).

The only place in NYC where they know and love long hair, and how to care for it, is MADORA'S LONG HAIR HEAVEN, on Madison Avenue, not far from 48th. Check with them for prices.