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View Full Version : Embracing or at least accepting current length in this slow growing out process



ohdokey
October 12th, 2014, 07:06 PM
So, I realized much of my hair frustration lately has been because in my heart I feel I should be a long hair already, but in reality (growing out from a pixie) I just have a jaw-length bob. So I have been trying to pin it back and have the variety that really only comes with more length. I am trying to just accept my current length and think about best ways to style short hair for now. It is hard when I am so looking forward to the gorgeous braids and updos that I see on here. They inspire me not to cut it again, but I do get so impatient. Plus, since I have opted to trim through the mullet stage in the back, it is hard to see much growth. Now I am forgoing the scissors, but I know it will be a while before there is much heft or length to my hair.
Any one else in shortie stage or blah-stages finding good ways to accept their current hair and bide their time? (P.S., is the super shortie thread still alive, i.e, active?)

ETA: ...and I am not using heat styling methods because I want to keep my hair healthy and happy, but it seems most of the online tutorials for styling a bob well all require heat!

gustavonut
October 12th, 2014, 07:23 PM
Don't worry about it, I was there very recently it seems like. And it sucks but it sure does past fast. Maybe you could try the inversion method to help? It helps some but not many.

Celtic_Willow
October 12th, 2014, 07:25 PM
I feel your pain, ohdokey! I am also growing out a pixie, I cut it into a pixie last September, so I've had a year and 1 month of growing, and it's taken everything I've got to not pick up a pair of scissors to even it out, or de-mulletize it haha. I had a minor haircut in February to even out the mullet, and it soo wasn't worth it. All it did was set me back in my growth stage.. But, kudos to you for not heat styling! I diffuse mine, but I only style my hair a few times a week so most of the time it's air dried and pulled back now that I can fit it into a ponytail! Hang in there girlfriend, and if you need someone to rant to about the blah stages feel free to message me! It's tough but you'll get through it! I'm *still struggling, and my hair just barely made it to shoulder length. But my shortest layer is at my chin and that just drives me crazy! Lots of cute headbands, headscarves, pretty hair jewelry and dangly earrings help immensely!

ETA: Also, have you tried cutting out sulfates and silicones? Sulfates are damaging for a lot of hair types, and can hinder growth if it's frying your ends. And silicones can build up and suffocate hair without sulfates to remove them.

truepeacenik
October 12th, 2014, 08:00 PM
If it makes you feel any better, those of us at the long lengths often think of our own hair as short, while a person of the same hair that isn't us, is seen as long haired.
Follicular dysmorphia? ;)

I personally just took off four inches. All I can think is, but I'm less than classic, now.

Yeah, with awesome ends.

Eastbound&Down
October 12th, 2014, 08:11 PM
I think the consensus is anything above APL is the worst length ever. I'm growing back to TBL currently at shoulder and it is miserable but patience is key! Cute headbands, scarves, and clips always save the day :)

skeletonous
October 12th, 2014, 09:02 PM
I feel ya :) this is my 8th? month of growing out a pixie cut...it really helps me to look at pictures of me with my freshly cut pixie cut and see how much progress I have really made! Also bandanas, I love using a bandana with a cute print when my hair doesn't want to behave how I want it to :p good luck!

lapushka
October 13th, 2014, 01:40 AM
I'd say *enjoy* your time as a shorty, and enjoy going through the various stages. You'll remember that and remind yourself in the end it was all worth it. But awkward stages can indeed be tough. You just have to power through. And by next month it will be longer already. ;)

ohdokey
October 13th, 2014, 05:01 AM
Thanks, everyone. Celtic_Willow, yes, maybe we can commiserate about the blahs. :)
Lapushka, you are right, I should enjoy this stage and the ease of this length since I am not planning to revisit this length again.
I have been using lots of bobby pins and head bands. I need to break out the scarves to change it up. Is there really a clear connection between avoiding sulfates and cones for faster growth or just overall hair health?

lazuliblue
October 13th, 2014, 05:12 AM
My hair looks so much better for avoiding cones and sulfates. I still occasionally use shampoo, buts mostly CO wash. Can't say that it has had an effect on my growth rate.

Also, you should look forward to having a bob, and then a LOB! (a long bob...apparently in fashion at the moment!) I think those hair lengths looks really nice.

LadyCelestina
October 13th, 2014, 06:35 AM
Don't worry dear,I cut my hair from 'finally long!' (hip) to a little longer than 'the most unflattering length ever' (a touch above waist )a month ago :flower: It sucks especially since my ends are starting to feel rough from time to time again,but at least they are not splitting.

Pamper it,put it up as much as you can and forget about it.That is the best approach.

To the poster who said anything to APL is the worst ,two words : Midback abyss!

Gertrude
October 13th, 2014, 07:11 AM
Midback Abyss is for me not nearly as bad as any length above APL. I am in the Midback Abyss and it's not abysmal. I have fine hair so lots of updos I can do at any point in time. I couldn't at SL. The worst length for splitting ever on my shoulder bones.

Although there are fun styles wearing it down with accessories, but no heat styling limited that. Putting it up and away with a claw clip helped me. You can put a skimpy ponytail in one and it looks fine. For me as finey once I hat APL I was surely frustrated at it not being long in my mind but I was over the struggles and could put it up in other ways than a claw clip (-;

Also I did a lot of painting of my nails. Spent a fortune on varnishes. But it was something else to fuss over and kept me desperately trying to keep chipped varnish at bay and stopped me staring at my hair looking for split ends.

Hang in there (-: Time really does flyn and hair grows.

Vulpes
October 13th, 2014, 07:21 AM
Also I did a lot of painting of my nails. Spent a fortune on varnishes. But it was something else to fuss over and kept me desperately trying to keep chipped varnish at bay and stopped me staring at my hair looking for split ends.

Hang in there (-: Time really does flyn and hair grows.

This is great advice! Focusing on another aspect of beauty is definitely my go-to when my hair gets frustrating. For me, it is usually trying new make-up styles and techniques. (Mastering the cat-eye helped... because it took forever)

Carolyn
October 13th, 2014, 08:19 AM
If I had a jaw length bob and was planning on growing it out I would go ahead and use heat sparingly until it grew long enough for a ponytail and a few updos like the claw clip peacock twist. It's so hard to deal with your hair when you want it to look nice and it won't because you are avoiding heat. I don't mean use heat every day by any means. Right now cute little clippies and head bands are your friends. Your hair will grow even though growing seems to take an eternity. Another inch of length should make things a lot easier. If you are an average growing you will have that before the holidays.

spidermom
October 13th, 2014, 08:40 AM
I've been having a period of feeling like my hair is just not growing anymore. My daughter helped to set me straight. It was waist at the longest (it's layered) last March, and now it's between hip and tailbone length. My daughter pointed out that it has grown at least 4 inches, and since I last had it cut 7 months ago, I'm a little ahead of the curve for average growth. So even though my hair is long already, I think I know how you feel. It's hard to be patient when you're looking forward to longer hair.

kganihanova
October 13th, 2014, 09:56 AM
Mild heat styling at your length is okay. Just use a heat protectant. And you're trimming anyway right? No problems right now.

Fufu
October 13th, 2014, 10:39 AM
You will get there... only a matter of time.

Right now, enjoy your present hair : )

I've BSL almost to MBL hair few years back, and then I went for a massive chop to shoulder hair length.
I chopped my hair again to normal Bob and then I cut again to asymmetrical bob. Then, I cut again to Pixie. Then for the next couple of months, I maintained pixie by having regular trims.

So right now, I have grown out my pixie and current at neck length. Aiming for a shoulder length now.

Don't stress over your current hair now, focus on other things and in no time you will realize how long your hair has grown. :)

DreadfulWoman
October 13th, 2014, 12:48 PM
My advice to those of you frustrated with your current (lack of) length is to use this time to practice your braiding skills, assuming that's something you're interested in. It only gets more difficult at longer lengths, and even if you can't gather all your hair up into a single braid, you can still do all sorts of fun accent braids, and braided headbands, etc. Then when your hair is long enough to get it into a couple french braids you'll be able to do all sorts of cute little braided updos. And by the time your hair is super long you'll be a braiding ninja (and not struggling to figure out how to french braid hip length hair like I am :p).

Lots of tutorials on youtube for braided updos for short-ish hair, if you need ideas.

fiğrildi
October 13th, 2014, 12:56 PM
I've been stuck at the Mydback Abyss for more than 2 years... my hair grows an inch per month, but I have to deal with constant breakage caused by awful previous damage. I'm paying the price, having a very hard time accepting my length. The only thing that helps is bunning, and trying to forget about it.

lady mechanic
October 13th, 2014, 02:12 PM
It feels like I've been stuck at shoulder length forever. I want long hair so badly but it's so blah right now and looks awful :'( I find myself just trying not to look in the mirror

lady mechanic
October 13th, 2014, 02:12 PM
Something else I've done is invest in clip hair extensions. Fake it till ya make it I guess

Katis
October 13th, 2014, 02:20 PM
I'm in between APL and BSL. I've been here for months and I just want to reach BSL so I can move on.

Wosie
October 13th, 2014, 02:26 PM
I guess I was lucky in the fact that I joined these forums with somewhat long hair from the start (around 22 inches). I couldn't do a ponytail or any kind of bun in the beginning, but I still didn't feel too short. Now I've been here for ten months and the longer I'm a member at LHC the shorter my hair seems to me. :o

I just... put it up in a bun, use some colourful hairtoys or... play videogames. It's healthy to not get too obsessed with one's hair growth, as it's something which is supposed to take time. Better to just leave it be and all of a sudden notice how much it has grown. :) I do understand your frustration, however, but there are no shortcuts to long hair. %) There are some things that help it grow slightly faster (like vitamins, but I guess they'd only help if you were deficient in the first place) and eating healthier, but patience is indeed the most important thing when you're growing your hair. Patience and time.

Sofialu
November 15th, 2014, 05:34 PM
So, I realized much of my hair frustration lately has been because in my heart I feel I should be a long hair already, but in reality (growing out from a pixie) I just have a jaw-length bob. So I have been trying to pin it back and have the variety that really only comes with more length. I am trying to just accept my current length and think about best ways to style short hair for now. It is hard when I am so looking forward to the gorgeous braids and updos that I see on here. They inspire me not to cut it again, but I do get so impatient. Plus, since I have opted to trim through the mullet stage in the back, it is hard to see much growth. Now I am forgoing the scissors, but I know it will be a while before there is much heft or length to my hair.
Any one else in shortie stage or blah-stages finding good ways to accept their current hair and bide their time? (P.S., is the super shortie thread still alive, i.e, active?)

ETA: ...and I am not using heat styling methods because I want to keep my hair healthy and happy, but it seems most of the online tutorials for styling a bob well all require heat!

Four weeks ago I had mine cut to just above my shoulders from BSL. I had a lot of patchy colour on my length so wanted rid. I really like my new do and don't regret cutting it but because my hair is wavy I find it needs a lot of taming (with heat) at this short length so I'm still going to grow it down to my goal length. I find it much easier the longer it gets and I don't need to use heat on it as it just seems to hang nicely when it's long. In the meantime I am enjoying how quick it takes to dry and that it doesn't get knotty.

kganihanova
November 15th, 2014, 07:02 PM
Enjoy the bob while you can. I dream of a short swingy bob a lot, they're just so cute. But I wouldn't ever cut it on me, because it wouldn't be so cute on me. For real though, enjoy it. You do sometimes miss the short easy styles later....

Entangled
November 15th, 2014, 08:08 PM
When my hair went from between ear to shoulder I heat styled with semi regularity. It's at around waist now, and I haven't suffered huge consequences. I know how unmanageable it can be shorter (mine floofed and flipped out), and sometimes heat styling helped. As long as you don't do it too often and trim along as you go (and use the low setting, not the 450 setting!) you should be all right in the long run. As long as you don't make it a habit and stop once it has enough weight to be self regulating, things should work out.

Sarahlabyrinth
November 15th, 2014, 08:55 PM
When my hair was nastily short there were two things I used to say to myself to help myself be patient and to accept my current length:

1: This is the shortest length my hair will ever be.

2: My hair is already longer today than it was yesterday.

And a third thing I used to say was "My hair is getting longer and more awesome every day". A bit of positive self-talk really can help.

LongHairLesbian
November 15th, 2014, 09:00 PM
When my hair was nastily short there were two things I used to say to myself to help myself be patient and to accept my current length:

1: This is the shortest length my hair will ever be.

2: My hair is already longer today than it was yesterday.

And a third thing I used to say was "My hair is getting longer and more awesome every day". A bit of positive self-talk really can help.

This is great advice, and very sweet. :)

CurlyCap
November 15th, 2014, 09:09 PM
I joined LHC when I was sick of maintaining a pixie and had started to grow for six months. I lived in the pixie thread and did a length check nearly every night.

Time, patience, and sticking to a non-damaging routine are the only solutions. I used to take lots of pictures of my length to act as a reminder of how much I had grown, even though subjectively it didn't feel like it.

And to be honest, I'm at BCL+ now, approaching the longest hair I've ever had as an adult...and it still feels short. The super lengths here at LHC can lead to a bit of dysmorphia.

fiğrildi
November 16th, 2014, 02:20 PM
I've always had "long" hair (between APL and waist), and I've always been very comfortable with my length, until I joined this forum. I used to think that my hair was very long, and now it feels short, very short!

I was at BSL when I joined, and I've been stuck at MBL for nearly a year now. I'm gradually trimming off the damage, so it's not properly "growing", and it feels like it's going to take forever to reach hip, even. It's taking me a while to accept my current length, because in my mind I feel like a long hair, when I'm not. But it's a slow process, just like Johannah's signature says, and quitting won't speed it up :wink:

Definitely, my hair is longer than it was, and it's much healthier as well. I try not to over-obssess about measuring, and keep my hair in a bun, so that I forget about it.

blue_eyes
November 16th, 2014, 02:40 PM
I feel like I've been stuck around BSL forever. I started growing out my hair from a bob about 8 years ago, and that seemed to take forever. I was also torturing it with dye, bleach, blowdryers, etc. and regularly got trims at the salon. Eventually I stopped cutting it altogether and managed to make it to waist, but then I bleached it (while it was dyed black) and the damage was so bad it needed to be cut from WL to APL. That was over a year ago and I'm only just reaching BSL again.

In EIGHT years I should have been waaaaaay past waist (my goal) by now, but nope, I'm back at BSL. I know it's my own fault, but I can't help but feel so frustrated that after all this time I'm back to where I started. I only started growing out my virgin hair a year ago (after the bleaching fiasco), and I've got about 3 more years to go before I actually have healthy WL hair. :brickwall Oh well...at least I won't be making those mistakes again.


When my hair was nastily short there were two things I used to say to myself to help myself be patient and to accept my current length:

1: This is the shortest length my hair will ever be.

2: My hair is already longer today than it was yesterday.

And a third thing I used to say was "My hair is getting longer and more awesome every day". A bit of positive self-talk really can help.

I tell myself #1 all the time! It definitely makes me feel better & motivated to keep going! :)

Avis
November 16th, 2014, 02:41 PM
I loved my pixie when I had it. It didn't require things like detangling or styling (I just like my hair go crazy with waves, I didn't really care unless it was sticking straight up). It was when it started growing out and getting into the awkward mullet stage that I started wishing it was longer. What I did was got myself a cute headband and started buying pretty earrings. I had only previously worn studs because dangly earrings always got caught in my hair (because all I could do with it was a ponytail) but with shorter hair I didn't have to worry about it.

I found LHC when my hair was about CBL and seeing all the beautiful hair made me feel really sad that I had cut my hair (though it was pretty damaged) so I took a few months away from LHC when I was about APL and recently "came back" (about 3 or 4 months ago maybe?). It really helped because I just wore my hair up all the time and focused on school and SO and even though I still feel like my hair is short, I know that basically everyone I know would say it's grown a lot.

Just enjoy the length you have now and soon, your hair will be tickling your back and you'll wonder when that happened.

Fericera
November 17th, 2014, 04:08 PM
If you have jaw length you might be able to do French or Dutch braids along the sides of your head. It takes some practice, but as long as you can make a tiny pony tail with the hair at the back of your head you should be able to weave all your layers in. This was right before I hit shoulder length, if I remember correctly, and I'd been doing it for a few weeks before this.

http://i58.tinypic.com/1gk6ye.jpg

skeletonous
November 19th, 2014, 11:31 AM
When my hair was nastily short there were two things I used to say to myself to help myself be patient and to accept my current length:

1: This is the shortest length my hair will ever be.

2: My hair is already longer today than it was yesterday.

And a third thing I used to say was "My hair is getting longer and more awesome every day". A bit of positive self-talk really can help.

This is actually the method I use a lot :) it really does help! Also I may try the French braids, I haven't got the hang of Dutch braids yet for some reason. I'm already excited!