Comb thieves!

[Alaska98]

A bit of a rant because misery loves company....

A while back I bought a wood comb and a BBB. My husband, whose hair ranges in length from buzz cut to maybe an inch and a half long, decided to use them. He has horribly oily dandruff hair. He made my set gross and would never clean them.
I bough another set. I told him, please don't use my set. Eventually he had both sets because he doesn't put things back/loses them.
I buy some horn combs. He uses THOSE, though I've somehow managed to keep up with them. I bought a purple Tangle teezer. He and the kids and the kids dolls got ahold of it. I bought a pink Tangle teezer. I told the whole family, if anyone uses this brush, you will be in a world of hurt! And I keep it where the kids can't get it.
This morning, after being up all night with 2 coughing children, the husband brushed his gross nonhair with my pink Tangle teezer. I went off mentioning he has a thieved comb in his car and he has no hair, so why brush? Of course, he claimed I'm selfish and possessive. Please tell me I'm not the only one who doesn't want to share brushes and combs. Am I being selfish?

[Madora]

Heavens, no, you are not being selfish, Alaska98! You've a right to keep your personal things personal..and next to a toothbrush, nothing is more personal than a comb or a brush.

Your husband sounds like a person who just uses anything he can get his paws on, just because it is convenient for him. You'll have to retrain him...or guard your comb and brush like an alligator with a nest of eggs. Hide them if you must.

I find the sharing of hairbrushes and combs to be 101 on the yuck scale. I don't care if you are family! You got oily hair, get your own comb and brush! Why should you put up with such rudeness? Ditto for dandruff folks...get your own comb and brush. The kids should learn that they need to be responsible for their own comb and brush. If they don't have them, buy them an inexpensive set and tell them it is up to them to keep them clean, etc.

Bottom line: respect another person's property. Just because it is sitting there all by its lonesome doesn't mean you have a right to use it on your hair!

[Symbiotek]

Oh, that sucks :( Personally, I don't mind my friends or family using my brushes or combs (and most of them ask before they do), but if you don't want anyone to use yours, they should respect that. Especially after you've asked them not to. Do you have a small bag you could keep your brushes and combs in, and maybe keep it in your purse or sock drawer or something? It's kinda silly to have to hide things in your own home, but sometimes it's the only thing that works...

[JustPam]

Jeez, nothing's sacred huh, sounds like you're gonna need to start keeping stuff under lock and key! It's perfectly reasonable to want to have your own grooming tools etc and I would say most people do, me and my OH have separate stuff, even when I was living at my parents with my sisters, everyone had their own, so no you are certainly not being selfish.

I had to rant at my OH the other day because he used my hair scissors to unjam the paper shredder, he looked at me like I was from another planet and said "But they're just scissors, you have like 3 other pairs!", yeah, sewing ones, the old wrecked ones I cut up wax strips with, and PAPER ONES! I could've strangled him, haha!

[Alaska98]

Thank you! There is the ick factor, but he's mentioned he doesn't see a problem with sharing tooth brushes. Ugh and vomit! At this point I'm half considering some kind of biometric safe lol

[Alaska98]

justpam, I've hidden my hair scissors. I warned him if I ever caught him with them, I'd cut him lol, but I told them what I paid for them, so maybe he won't.

[JustPam]

Thank you! There is the ick factor, but he's mentioned he doesn't see a problem with sharing tooth brushes. Ugh and vomit! At this point I'm half considering some kind of biometric safe lol

*Actual horrified face*

[Laurenji]

I don't see the problem with sharing toothbrushes with my husband (I mean, it's not like we haven't swapped mouth germs before). I mean, I would only do it in an emergency, but it's not the end of the world.

For me, the bigger issue is that he's completely not respecting your personal things. DH and I share mostly everything, but if there's something I really don't want him using (like my hair scissors or sewing scissors), he will happily oblige, even if he doesn't have any reason other than "Laurenji wants these to be separate."

[dezibela]

Hide them in a Kotex box. Problem solved!

[lapushka]

O gosh. I don't think you're being at all unreasonable. If he has dandruff, he should know better, but husbands and knowing better eh? ;)

[Madora]

Hide them in a Kotex box. Problem solved!

Priceless...and drop dead perfect, dezibela!

[RavennaNight]

I've had this problem, to a smaller degree- for me it's the hair scissors. DH sees scissors laying around and just uses them. Even if they are my hair scissors. I now have a new pair and hide them, and only S&D when he's not home, and put them back in their safe me-only place. At least he doesn't use my combs and brushes. He puts so much crap in his hair, but keeps his own stuff. This morning, his brush was missing and he asked if I used it or had seen it. I was like "Hell no!!! I don't use your gel-encrusted s***!!!" And he found it where he left it before.

[fiðrildi]

Agree with Madora, you're not being selfish or posessive, combs and brushes are of personal use. I would never share my brush with anyone, it doesn't matter if it's my family, or anyone else... same way that I would never share my toothbrush or sponge with anyone.
You must make yourself respected by your husband and kids, especially by your husband. His attitude is being childish and rude. I just don't see why would anyone take and use something as personal as that, even if you have repeatedly stated that you don't tolerate that behaviour. Annoying.

[Stiria]

Not only did he use your brush without asking, but he kept using your brushes and combs even after you told him not to. That is rude! You are not the selfish one.

[cathair]

Hide them in a Kotex box. Problem solved!

Seconding this! :) Sounds like he keeps doing it over and over again, so I am not sure what you could do to make him change. Probably better to hide them for your own sanity. Only trouble with that is, you'd have to make sure you're alone every time you comb your hair, so he doesn't see where you've stashed it.

Or I suppose you could put cheap combs and brushes all over the place. If it's a case of picking up the nearest one to hand, make sure your good ones are never the nearest to hand.

[brickworld13]

I have had this problem before with a lot of things. I agree with the suggestions for disguising them in a box that searching paws would NEVER open. As I live alone right now, I don't have to worry about this unless somebody picks up a random pair of scissors off the table when they are visiting. I tend to just leave them out and many people don't realize the distinctions of hair, paper, fabric, utility, and kitchen scissors. Using them on the wrong material screws up the edges and ticks me off.

[Majorane]

:wail: I suffer from this abuse too, and it makes me SO MAD!!

I have three BBB's in the house now because my SO kept on snatching it and leaving it all gross and yuk! I don't mind him using combs but the point of a BBB is cleaning and oiling, and YUK not with his flakes and oils! Now he leaves them alone because he doesn't like them any more, but he uses my stuffs ALL THE TIME and never replaces it when it's gone or repairs it if it breaks. Finishes his toothpaste, then grabs my EXPENSIVE one, uses two months worth of toothpaste in a week, and then I'm out of mine, and I have sore teeth. Uses my hairspray (yeah sue me, I use hairspray sometimes), finishes the can in a week, leaves it empty for me to grab it and be out. He uses my boyfriend jeans, so I only have clean skinny ones left. And yesterday, he 1) finished all of the feta cheese pre-diced pieces, except for THREE small pieces that he left in the jar. So I was 'ooooh it's sharkweek, I need cheese!" and so dissapointed! Only three pieces, that's less than a dice of cheese. So I went out, bought bonbon chocolates, ate some. He comes home, sees them, and EATS ALL THE OTHERS LEFT saying gee thanks *gobblegobble*.

:wail: okay that was off topic but it is sharkweek, and I am out of both chocolate and cheese :wail:

[Amapola]

That would really annoy me. Being who I am though, I'd be tempted to drill a hole in it, and put on a cable and lock. DH used to take my towel off and wipe the counters down with it and then leave it laying in a pile of crumbs, so I got this big thing like a giant safety pin (blanket pin for you horse people) and pinned it to the rack. He could no longer just pull it off. Eventually he learned not to try and now uses something else besides my hand drying towel for wiping down the counters (which is hard to complain about, at least he does it). I can safely hang my towels on the rack and they actually stay there now, but it took a couple of years. If you cable your comb down so that the only way he can use it (besides unlocking it) is to lean down with his face right on the dresser top, he might decide that is too much work and leave it alone even though it's lying there in plain sight. That's just me though. Not everyone is as crazy as I am. I have to admit though that thinking of someone so desperate to use someone else's comb that they are willing to bend down and put their face right on top of a dresser just so they can use it, makes me laugh. :evil:

[Madora]

:chocolate::cheese::yumm: Oh, the humanity, Majorane! Out of CHOCOLATE!!! What is the world comin' to??? (from a chocoholic of the first water, now on a diet, with hardly any chocolate in it!)

[KittyBird]

Oh goodness, that is so gross! The worst part is how disrespectful your husband is to you though. It shouldn't be that hard to understand that the combs and brushes are yours and you don't want to share them. Doesn't he see how childish his behaviour is?
I think it's best to hide your stuff, maybe even in a locked box. That's what I would do.

[Madora]

That would really annoy me. Being who I am though, I'd be tempted to drill a hole in it, and put on a cable and lock. DH used to take my towel off and wipe the counters down with it and then leave it laying in a pile of crumbs, so I got this big thing like a giant safety pin (blanket pin for you horse people) and pinned it to the rack. He could no longer just pull it off. Eventually he learned not to try and now uses something else besides my hand drying towel for wiping down the counters (which is hard to complain about, at least he does it). I can safely hang my towels on the rack and they actually stay there now, but it took a couple of years. If you cable your comb down so that the only way he can use it (besides unlocking it) is to lean down with his face right on the dresser top, he might decide that is too much work and leave it alone even though it's lying there in plain sight. That's just me though. Not everyone is as crazy as I am. I have to admit though that thinking of someone so desperate to use someone else's comb that they are willing to bend down and put their face right on top of a dresser just so they can use it, makes me laugh. :evil:

I'll drink to that! Or lock your goodies in a metal box with a combination lock only you have the combination for! That'll show 'em!

[becker]

You are spending money on items that are appropriate for YOUR hair, not Hubs'. You take proper care of said items and expect them to be in good condition when you need to use them, totally reasonable expectations. I would be upset, too.

[StellaKatherine]

That how some people just are. I had a PROFESSIONAL hair scissors and my sister was cutting a paper with it!!! You could CLEARLY see they were hair scissors and nothing rubbish. I wanted to cry! She couldn't understand why I got mad.. My husband luckily doesn't take much of my things... he never finds them anyway :D

[Majorane]

The worst part is how disrespectful your husband is to you though. It shouldn't be that hard to understand that the combs and brushes are yours and you don't want to share them. Doesn't he see how childish his behaviour is?
This! This! It's not the comb that maddens me, it's the disrespect! I said it in a joking manner, but this makes me so livid when my s.o. can't behave like a civilized and socialized normal human being instead of like a feral scavenger that takes all it pleases without any thought of me. That is what it feels like to me. And I don't want to live in a house where I have to lock up stuff. Aaaaaaaaaargh rage fume spit hiss.



:chocolate::cheese::yumm: Oh, the humanity, Majorane! Out of CHOCOLATE!!! What is the world comin' to??? (from a chocoholic of the first water, now on a diet, with hardly any chocolate in it!)
Madora, oh no... not the D-word....! Eek: :grouphug:

[Macaroni]

Hide them in your purse.

[embee]

Oooh, bad bad memories. :( My (now ex-) DH seemed to think that whatever was mine was his too.

But it wasn't just with me, he did the same kind of thing to other people. I found out about it after my divorce, when friends commented how annoyed it made them. That took away a lot of the "disrespected" I was feeling, because then it was just how he was, not really dissing *me*.

Good luck.

[nerdymomma]

Augh no, that is really hurtful and disrespectful of him. I would sit my DH down and explain that to him if he did it to me! Have a calm, non-attacking convo about it at a time when you aren't hopping mad. Start with 'I' not 'you', ex: "I bought this to care for my long hair. Please don't use it. I feel disrespected and unloved when you mess with my personal hygeine tools."

I have a chaotic spouse too, I found that giving him super simple tools for organizing his stuff was the best way to ensure peace. We have an over-the-door see-through vinyl shoe organizer in our bathroom. He has pockets for anything he wants to store there, for your DH, might I suggest a wide selection of combs and brushes? Oh yeah, and take your stuff back!! Reclaim it so that his stuff bears absolutely no resemblance to yours whatsoever. If you don't wish to clean it, chuck it! I am serious.

[sourgrl]

Ew. Just ew!! I'm with you on sharing combs/brushes. I'd hide them well ;)

[jacqueline101]

Hide them in a Kotex box. Problem solved!

I like that answer. If I need to hide things from my brother I put mine in my purse. My brother thinks purses are girly no way he's going near it.

[Agnes Hannah]

I shave my hubbys hair so he hasn't got any! My son has requisitioned my tangle teaser but that's ok, I didn't really get on with it. I love the Kotex box idea though. Good luckx

[Nadine <3]

I had this same problem with my younger brother. I eventually had to start storing all my bathroom things on top of my dresser because he would use whatever fancied him. I have really sensitive skin, so I have a lot of really natural, expensive products and it made me SO MAD when he would use it to wash his shaved head, or (my brother is a tattoo artist) he would use my expensive lotions for his and other peoples tattoos. Thankfully, my brother is too lazy to go into my room to steal things. He would only use them when they where in the bathroom and handy. It's not a huge deal, I bought one of those tote things for products like people use in dorms to go from their room to the showers. It works well, and nobody touches my stuff anymore.

I like the idea of hiding it in a kotex or a tampon box! Sometimes I hid things in those and it works great! My favorite hiding spot though is my underwear drawer. Bury your combs and brushes under your undies :)

[mouse2cat]

I'm sorry but it's not about the combs. You need to have a real conversation with him about this. He might say sharing combs is trivial but completely disrespecting you and your request is not.

You should NEVER have to hide your possessions in your own house.

[Mimha]

Oh la la !... So much disrespect in my own house ?? never more !!!! I solved the problem, girls : after years of unsucsessful efforts to be respected by my beloved one, I got rid of 1st and then 2nd husband and enjoy now total freedom on my territory. No need to fight anymore for the blanket, missing combs, messed up bathroom, shoes and clothes scattered all over the place ! Share my flat (bed, hair brush, etc.) again with a masculine creature who has not got educated by his mother except to think that sharing his life with a woman means that she will automatically substitute to Beloved Mom, all that IS FINISHED ! :D

Sooooo happy to be freeeeeee !!!!! Ha ha ha ha :D :D :D

[chen bao jun]

Yes, its not disrespect, it's just 'how he is'. So just vent to your heart's content on here, go out and buy another comb (I assume you share a budget, like most married people, so he's helping to pay for these things over and over) and yeah, HIDE it. And think about his many good qualities.
My husband doesn't share toiletries, but boy does he make his way through the kitchen and use the stuff I have dedicated to one thing for something else. I had hidden an ice cream scoop that I used only to scoop muffin batter into the muffin tins with (so that they come out the same size and look nice) and anyway, he has two other ice cream scoops for ice cream, all rusted (because he WILL put them into the dish washer or wash and not dry them. Anyway, he found my ice cream scoop last week and was really thrilled 'i didn't know we had this! This is great!" So now its an ice cream scoop, soon to be rusted, and I have no muffin batter scoop. Oh, well.
On the other hand, I'm the toothbrush sharer. I honestly don't do it on purpose but I'm always coming into the bathroom without my glasses on and brushing my teeth and then realizing it was HIS toothbrush. Although I don't see a terrific problem with that (as someone else pointed out, its not like we don't kiss, etc. all the time and anyway, I'm the one with the good teeth and no plaque while he has basically all dentures and bridges and work in there) it does aggravate him. So I tell him when I did it by accident, and then it become MY toothbrush and we have extras around for him to start a new one when this happens.
I'm going out next week to BBB for a new muffin scoop, even thought the budget is currently tight and I'm careful about money. I'd rather have a new muffin scoop than be toxically mad at him for a long time. And anyway, I have lots and lots of those BBB coupons that never expire. Soooo....
I will fail to mention this new purchase to him. I tell him about everything, even my hair toys, but NEVER about the kitchen purchases and have stopped buying cake pans, muffins tins, pots etc while he is with me in the store (Honey, don't we already have a lot of cake pans? Yes--but we don't have a silicone bundt cake pan that looks like a rose yet, dear).


Oooh, bad bad memories. :( My (now ex-) DH seemed to think that whatever was mine was his too.

But it wasn't just with me, he did the same kind of thing to other people. I found out about it after my divorce, when friends commented how annoyed it made them. That took away a lot of the "disrespected" I was feeling, because then it was just how he was, not really dissing *me*.

Good luck.

[LadyCelestina]

Huh...Why is it considered so gross.I mean I have never been married so maybe it is different for married couples,but I'm sure you people do come in contact with your partners even if they have oily hair or kiss them before they brush their teeth,so I don't see the gross,just wash the utensils if it bothers you a lot,no need to buy new and new ones. As for your partner,perhaps a nice serious talk might work?

ETA: And sharing a towel being gross just seems plain odd.I mean they wipe their clean stuff there.You sometimes come in contact with that even if it isn't fresh out of shower. Of course it's better to have your own,but...maybe I am just a dirty person :shrug:

[ladonna]

Story of my life! Not with the hubbs, it's my daughters, one of them has started stealing my shoes too. Her feet are smaller than mine! She ruined my favorite flip flops even though she owns about 4 pairs of her own! At least they might not ever fit in my clothes... Hopefully.

[chen bao jun]

Well, I'm with you, lady Celestina, but the toothbrush really really upsets my honey, so we accomodate.
The kitchen utensil thing is different though in my eyes, because he RUINS the utensils once he has got them, using them for hte wrong things or not washing them properly. I mean, possible germs from teeth is one thing (I am sure I have all his germs already and vice versa), but RUST on the muffin batter scooper is a problem; who wants a rusty muffin?
I will go and get a new because I don't have the same personality as the lovely Mimha, not so much as I don't want to be alone, as that I love my husband and I'd miss him. I would actually be flattered if he thought I could ever, ever be any kind of stand in for Beloved Mom--she just died a couple of weeks ago and honestly, the woman was great, she was like my Beloved Mom, too and I miss her more than I can say.
She also was a baker and cook and I know tried hard to train him to keep the hands off the cake decorating tips etc, but it can't be done. At least not if he helps out in the kitchen, which he really does, he's been washing the dishes while I lie on the couch with vertigo and too much computer, putting them all back in the wrong places, I know, but you can't have everything in this life and I have a lot....

Huh...Why is it considered so gross.I mean I have never been married so maybe it is different for married couples,but I'm sure you people do come in contact with your partners even if they have oily hair or kiss them before they brush their teeth,so I don't see the gross,just wash the utensils if it bothers you a lot,no need to buy new and new ones. As for your partner,perhaps a nice serious talk might work?

ETA: And sharing a towel being gross just seems plain odd.I mean they wipe their clean stuff there.You sometimes come in contact with that even if it isn't fresh out of shower. Of course it's better to have your own,but...maybe I am just a dirty person :shrug:

[sumidha]

I'm sorry if you mentioned this already and I missed it- do you have a place in the house that is yours, for your stuff? Like a shelf or drawer in the bathroom, a spot on the dresser or vanity table or something that is just for your toiletries and nothing else?

I also really don't like it when anyone else uses my brush, unless they clean it afterwards (no one ever does, surprise.) so I keep it put away with my hair things, and bought the husband his own TT. He does ask to borrow my brush once in a blue moon, but he's never gone into my stuff to look for it, I think maybe it's an out of sight out of mind thing... If he has to go through the effort of looking for it, he might as well just go find his own?

On the other hand, if you've talked about how much it bugs you, and he keeps going through your stuff just to find it, it does sound like more of a respecting personal boundaries issue. *hugs*

ETA: No, you are absolutely not being selfish.

[Sarden]

I must admit, it doesn't bother me to occasionally share a toothbrush - as someone else said, we've exchanged mouth germs plenty of times before. Also, it wouldn't bother me if he used my brushes as long as he put them back. However, my OH has lovely hair. My ex had greasy dandruff hair and I would have felt differently about it with him.

However, that's not really the point - if you have asked him not to use them, then he should respect that, period! Your things are your things!

[Mitzy]

Rust Muffin is my new band name.

My husband uses some of my hair brushes and combs, and I don't really mind, but I draw the line at sharing toothbrushes! Ew. He would be all grossed out by that, too. As a matter of fact, he is more "delicate" about that kind of stuff than I am. I have raised three kids and grew up in a big extended family and he's from a small family and never had any kids.

I would probably keep my brush either on my bedside table or in my purse with the understanding that anything stored there was strictly off-limits. If he ruins it, I will ruin something precious to him. Or give something he values away to charity. That's what I used to do with my kids. If they, say, broke my bentwood hall tree by horsing around in the hallway, they had to give a toy they valued as much to charity. (Yes, it happened. ONCE)

Of course, I am also the mean mom who took the tree down on Dec 15th and served Mac and Cheese for Xmas dinner when they opened their presents early and blamed it on the cats. I also made them wait until Jan 1st to get any of their presents while storing them out in plain sight for torture in the meantime.

I understand about the respect and not wanting to have to hide stuff in your own house, but if he won't listen, what are you going to do?

[Majorane]

Huh...Why is it considered so gross.I mean I have never been married so maybe it is different for married couples,but I'm sure you people do come in contact with your partners even if they have oily hair or kiss them before they brush their teeth,so I don't see the gross,just wash the utensils if it bothers you a lot,no need to buy new and new ones. As for your partner,perhaps a nice serious talk might work?

ETA: And sharing a towel being gross just seems plain odd.I mean they wipe their clean stuff there.You sometimes come in contact with that even if it isn't fresh out of shower. Of course it's better to have your own,but...maybe I am just a dirty person :shrug:

Well, the thing with washing a greasy comb is that it takes time, which you might not have in the morning. With BBB's even more so as they have to dry, too. And the really annoying oart would be that you each have your own set of utensils (like a comb) but he always grabs the clean one nearby and makes it dirty and then drops it at a weird place and I always am the one cleaning the comb AFTER I spend my precious morning time picking up his mess wherever he decides to drop it behind his lazy butt. THAT is what makes this so darn annoying. I'm not the bleeping maid of the house, ya know! (This isn't really my situation but there are ones very similar, hence the explaining.) It is the lack of respect and attention for the little things that are necessary in life. Like making sure that not only you but also the partner have access to the grooming tools! Aaargh, thinking about it makes me so angry again.

And of course, mushing greasy bedhair is one thing. Rubbing his yucky dandruff smelly seabum all over my nice hair is not grooming for me. I think us longhairs forget how incredibly dirty some normal persons' hair utensils can be. And even if that's not the case, I think that no matter how loving the relationship is, there's always something that you find a bit EEEEW and should be just for yourself. Theoretically one shares everything already and it might not make sense, but in real life romance, it just sort of.... well, I love my SO, but he ain't pooping butterflies, and I'm not blind for that, aye?

[nerdymomma]

*snip*

I think that no matter how loving the relationship is, there's always something that you find a bit EEEEW and should be just for yourself. Theoretically one shares everything already and it might not make sense, but in real life romance, it just sort of.... well, I love my SO, but he ain't pooping butterflies, and I'm not blind for that, aye?

1) pooping butterflies nearly made me bust a gut laughing so hard.
2) just because we occasionally (or frequently...) share certain cooties doesn't mean that as a married couple we share all the things. We give each other privacy during our bathroom rituals and ablutions, as much as is possible and practical (I do love having more than one bathroom now!). Some things preserve the mystery and the romance imo. I don't need to see him going to the bathroom, like, ever. And he doesn't need to see me trim my mustache. We have our own tooth brushes and towels and he doesn't touch my hair shears or brushes and I don't mess with his shaving soap or razor, even when my legs are like a wookie and I have the worlds oldest razor blade because I always forget to buy them. Mutual respect can go a loooong way towards preserving marital harmony.

[DreamSheep]

Oh dear! :-(

I'm not a scrupulous person so I don't cringe at the thought of sharing combs/brushes/toothbrushes (though you know, I'm also a bit possessive so I do prefer to have my own set :p) - but it does shock me that he doesn't take your request into consideration. Perhaps he thinks it isn't a big deal, but he should understand if it is something you feel strongly about, or if he misbehaves with your things, then he has to fix them and put them back.

My boyfriend generally respects my boundaries, but if he sometimes does something childish like throw something of mine across the room, or dirties something, I make sure he understands that it isn't OK and that if he knocks it over he has to tidy it up afterwards. It's probably worth speaking about him though - you don't reaaally want to be hiding your things. :) Although, that said, a special box just for combs and brushes sounds like a fun project, and I do think that the extra confinement and girliness might put him off if he is doing a "it's nearby and it is my wife so it's OK so I'm going to grab it" stunt :p :grouphug:

[mz_butterfly]

I don't think anyone is selfish or greedy for wanting to use their own combs and brushes.

My SO and I share brushes and combs, sometimes he is sweaty or dirty from work and touches something but it doesn't gross me out and I would never consider him to be disgusting.

What I find appalling about the whole thread is about how many women are speaking about their husbands. Basically saying they make them sick, are disgusting, gross and how they are discussing their husbands in such a vile manner.

Personally, if you dislike your husband or SO that much or find him that disgusting, gross and dirty, then why are you with him at all? If I found out my SO described me in such a way, to a forum of strangers, I would be hurt.

[lilin]

So... you've bought half a dozen combs/brushes or more trying to accommodate his perceived need to use them... and he feels entitled to use every single one of them just because they're there despite you asking him not to and him already having claimed half a dozen of them, and then not even clean them when they're dirty?

No, that's not ok. I'd be pissed if my partner were that inconsiderate of what is really a very simple and innocuous request. It's not like you asked him not to walk through your side of the house.

I have to admit I can be a little bullheaded about this stuff, but I'd literally lock them up and say that just because he is my partner doesn't mean he can blatantly disregard me and feel entitled to things. And if he's gonna be like that, they go in a lock box.

[Mya]

Brushes and combs are personal. Sharing them is like sharing panties. One could use another person's comb/brush in a exceptional situation - like once in a while, and only if the comb/brush is very clean and the person who is using it has very clean hair, and of course only with permission of the owner, and the item should possibly be washed before and after. It's just a matter of personal hygiene and personal space.

[Mya]

Oh la la !... So much disrespect in my own house ?? never more !!!! I solved the problem, girls : after years of unsucsessful efforts to be respected by my beloved one, I got rid of 1st and then 2nd husband and enjoy now total freedom on my territory. No need to fight anymore for the blanket, missing combs, messed up bathroom, shoes and clothes scattered all over the place ! Share my flat (bed, hair brush, etc.) again with a masculine creature who has not got educated by his mother except to think that sharing his life with a woman means that she will automatically substitute to Beloved Mom, all that IS FINISHED ! :D

Sooooo happy to be freeeeeee !!!!! Ha ha ha ha :D :D :D

I love your philosophy! Which is also mine to be honest. :D

Being with a person is not obligatory, it should add joy to your life, if it's adding annoyance and loss of freedom instead it's better to stay alone.

Lots of guys seem to lack basic respect & understanding, I see it's not just my personal impression. It's quite a mystery to me how they can live with it without being discriminated or considered severely handicapped, and how their parents manage to spoil them to that point.

[Trin]

I can completely understand this... my s.o. has very oily hair, and my hair shows oil like it's the newest fashion. If he were to use my brush (he did once, but stopped when I asked him), a quick brush for him spreads enough oil from the brush to my hair to make it look like I haven't washed my hair in a few weeks.

If I were you, I'd start off by sitting down as some people have suggested and having the "I feel hurt and disrespected when I can't have brushes to myself to help me with the specific and gel/oil/dandruff free needs of my hair. I feel that my brushes being stolen denotes a deep lack of respect and love for me." conversation.

And if that were not to work, I'd go to total bitch mode... pick up every brush or comb that was ever mine, clean it well, and lock it up with a key I KEEP on me at all times.

[Purdy Bear]

OP - It's like that with scissors in our family, they just disappear and don't return. Also I've had to hide my DIY tools as the men of the family would take them and never return them.

There are two things that you could do:

1. Buy one more set and hide them with your menstral stuff.

2. Get a group pot of money and buy a lot of sets.

[sarahthegemini]

Huh...Why is it considered so gross.I mean I have never been married so maybe it is different for married couples,but I'm sure you people do come in contact with your partners even if they have oily hair or kiss them before they brush their teeth,so I don't see the gross,just wash the utensils if it bothers you a lot,no need to buy new and new ones. As for your partner,perhaps a nice serious talk might work?

ETA: And sharing a towel being gross just seems plain odd.I mean they wipe their clean stuff there.You sometimes come in contact with that even if it isn't fresh out of shower. Of course it's better to have your own,but...maybe I am just a dirty person :shrug:

I was sat here with my jaw practically on the floor wondering the same thing. I mean seriously, we share body fluids yet sharing a comb is a big no? I don't get it. I also don't see this whole situation as him disrespecting you - it seems like he just doesn't think sometimes, which isn't a crime...And the fact he doesn't clean the brush/comb after use? Y'know what, most people outside of LHC don't do that. My bf certainly wouldn't think he had to clean the comb after using it once. Again, I don't think this is hum being disrespectful. It's just a case of not thinking. I honestly can not believe so many people think sharing a comb with your partner is outrageous. How dirty do you think they are?!

Just talk to him again about how your combs are really special and if he wants to use them, he must wash them thoroughly after.

[sarahthegemini]

I don't think anyone is selfish or greedy for wanting to use their own combs and brushes.

My SO and I share brushes and combs, sometimes he is sweaty or dirty from work and touches something but it doesn't gross me out and I would never consider him to be disgusting.

What I find appalling about the whole thread is about how many women are speaking about their husbands. Basically saying they make them sick, are disgusting, gross and how they are discussing their husbands in such a vile manner.

Personally, if you dislike your husband or SO that much or find him that disgusting, gross and dirty, then why are you with him at all? If I found out my SO described me in such a way, to a forum of strangers, I would be hurt.

I was also shocked by this. I would never, EVER talk about my boyfriend in such a disgusting manner. Largely because, I don't think of him as 'oily, disgusting, smelly ' etc. and if I did, I'd talk to him about his hygiene ritual, I wouldn't bad mouth him to others. How someone can demand respect when they clearly don't respect their partner is ridiculous...

[gnome82]

Hide them in a Kotex box. Problem solved!

Exactly!!! Or a pad box or some pads are sold in plastic bags that have drawstrings. He might think - womens business - and leave it - hopefully :laugh:

[MsPharaohMoan]

I was also shocked by this. I would never, EVER talk about my boyfriend in such a disgusting manner. Largely because, I don't think of him as 'oily, disgusting, smelly ' etc. and if I did, I'd talk to him about his hygiene ritual, I wouldn't bad mouth him to others. How someone can demand respect when they clearly don't respect their partner is ridiculous...

I skimmed over these parts, taking them as harmless jesting… Girls squealing over smelly boys, nothing new, y'know? But I am curious to see how people respond to this observation as I can be a bit oblivious.

And there's nothing wrong with oily, heh. I have oily skin. I'm not disgusting or lacking in hygiene it's just a type.

[Majorane]

I was also shocked by this. I would never, EVER talk about my boyfriend in such a disgusting manner. Largely because, I don't think of him as 'oily, disgusting, smelly ' etc. and if I did, I'd talk to him about his hygiene ritual, I wouldn't bad mouth him to others. How someone can demand respect when they clearly don't respect their partner is ridiculous...

You want the thruth? From me? Okay, here goes.

My SO has terrible oily skin, acne and dandruf extraoirdinaire to the max. And he smells out of his mouth. All of these things are not because he isn't clean, it's because he is how he is and some people smell more than others. I have an exceptionally good nose and yes I smell those things. And I do not like the seabum smell. So sue me. I like to smell like me, and not like him. If you think that is disgusting, well, that is fine I suppose, but it is how it is. He knows I feel this way, and there are things he does not like about me. We stay toghether because we love each other and there are much more nice things than smelly things, but that does not mean I am blind for the negative.

As for the 'stealing' thing. That really does anger me. You all say 'you need to just sit down and calmy explain it to him.' Well there are some people that just don't take the explanation and continue the annoying behaviour. In my case it's not that he steals combs but there is a similair thingy. And that, yes, I find un-understandable. It angers me. Very much. amd yes to some extend that behaviour disgusts me. Because it hurts me. It makes me feel un-loved. And I still stay. And if we were to break up it would be over that.

So. Harsh words, but I mean it and I am not taking them back. I am really glad you don't feel that way about your husband, and I wish everything was roses and sunshine here, too. But it is not and sometimes it is nice to vent. Also remember that while it is clear what disgusting means, the heaviness might vary for some people. I am not a native english speaker and thus more prone to use superlatives, or Really Weighty Words. I don't feel the undercurrent that connects to them. And frankly some aspects of my relationship are very ambivalent. Both angering yuk and pissingmeoff and romantic and sweet and amazing. And I don't think that is going to change and if I pretend it is not there and keep it in, t is not good for me. As for if it is good manners to vent about it here? Well. It is less likely to come back to him if I do it here, than in real life, with people he knows. And I loose my steam which is a good thing.

So, end of rant. If anyone needs cheese after this there is some on a plate in front of my rock, feel free to grab.

And one last thing. The idea I would have to hide or lock away stuff in my own house, like so many suggest here.....to me, weird!. I mean, go for it if it works for you! But I don't like to have to lock away stuff in my own home.... It's home! It means I'm free there! Would you all really do that? Amazing. I would just get mad over and over again instead of locking things away, on principle. i can be a rhino sometimes.

[AnqeIicDemise]

I don't like sharing mine, but my cats and my husband keep stealing them. I've finally resorted to keeping my comb and brush in my purse.

EtA: and yes, my hubby too has a very greasy head and the smell of sebum bothers me too. I, like Majorane have a very sensitive nose and certain smells irritate the crap out of me.. just like having my stuff borrowed and never returned. So yes. I've resorted to keeping a comb and a brush in my purse. It isn't locked, he can feel free to reach for it whenever he wants but he won't. Something about it being *my purse* freightens him so much that he won't even touch it.

I can ask him to get me some chapstick out of there and he just refuses to. :P

Also, he's smelly and gross and he farts a lot all the time because he drinks milk without lactose intolerance pills. I sometimes tell him this when he has me fed up and I'm tired of suffering because he doesn't like the pill and thinks its funny I get grossed out easily. Still, he's my husband and I put up with it. Sometimes I attack him with my home made room spray and spray it on his butt. We laugh about it. I don't think its disrespectful if he's smelly and I tell him so. Hell, if I smelled bad I'd want him to spare my feelings and tell me... being avoided and told I'm stinky by strangers would be even more hurtful. This is the man whose kisses I yearn for first thing in the morning bad breath or no. He's a relatively clean guy, showers twice to three times a day and takes care of himself. He just has a really sebumy head and a gut that can kill.

Thankfully he's learned to have lactose when we're at home as to not inconvenience strangers with his body stinks.

[NormaJean]

It's not love if you can't admit they gross you out occasionally, imo.

We all love our others because of / despite of their flaws. Pretending everybody's perfect all the time is a disaster waiting to happen.

[sarahthegemini]

It's not love if you can't admit they gross you out occasionally, imo.

We all love our others because of / despite of their flaws. Pretending everybody's perfect all the time is a disaster waiting to happen.

Not speaking in a degrading manner about one's partner doesn't = pretending everyone's perfect.

[sarahthegemini]

You want the thruth? From me? Okay, here goes.

My SO has terrible oily skin, acne and dandruf extraoirdinaire to the max. And he smells out of his mouth. All of these things are not because he isn't clean, it's because he is how he is and some people smell more than others. I have an exceptionally good nose and yes I smell those things. And I do not like the seabum smell. So sue me. I like to smell like me, and not like him. If you think that is disgusting, well, that is fine I suppose, but it is how it is. He knows I feel this way, and there are things he does not like about me. We stay toghether because we love each other and there are much more nice things than smelly things, but that does not mean I am blind for the negative.

As for the 'stealing' thing. That really does anger me. You all say 'you need to just sit down and calmy explain it to him.' Well there are some people that just don't take the explanation and continue the annoying behaviour. In my case it's not that he steals combs but there is a similair thingy. And that, yes, I find un-understandable. It angers me. Very much. amd yes to some extend that behaviour disgusts me. Because it hurts me. It makes me feel un-loved. And I still stay. And if we were to break up it would be over that.

So. Harsh words, but I mean it and I am not taking them back. I am really glad you don't feel that way about your husband, and I wish everything was roses and sunshine here, too. But it is not and sometimes it is nice to vent. Also remember that while it is clear what disgusting means, the heaviness might vary for some people. I am not a native english speaker and thus more prone to use superlatives, or Really Weighty Words. I don't feel the undercurrent that connects to them. And frankly some aspects of my relationship are very ambivalent. Both angering yuk and pissingmeoff and romantic and sweet and amazing. And I don't think that is going to change and if I pretend it is not there and keep it in, t is not good for me. As for if it is good manners to vent about it here? Well. It is less likely to come back to him if I do it here, than in real life, with people he knows. And I loose my steam which is a good thing.

So, end of rant. If anyone needs cheese after this there is some on a plate in front of my rock, feel free to grab.

And one last thing. The idea I would have to hide or lock away stuff in my own house, like so many suggest here.....to me, weird!. I mean, go for it if it works for you! But I don't like to have to lock away stuff in my own home.... It's home! It means I'm free there! Would you all really do that? Amazing. I would just get mad over and over again instead of locking things away, on principle. i can be a rhino sometimes.

I never asked for further explanation, but okay...If that's how you feel about your relationship and whatnot, fine. Personally though, I don't have that kind of anger or resentment. If my boyfriend has B.O or something or is a bit greasy, I mention it to him, usually light heartedly. I don't slag him off or talk of how he 'disgusts me' It's one thing to be open in a relationship, it's another to just be plain nasty about things. It's not disgusting to want to smell like yourself and not your partner (I never said that so I don't know where you got that from?) but again, to talk of how he disgusts you is very different.

eta: I agree about the whole issue of hiding your own stuff. I'd hate to feel like my only option is to hide my own items in my own home.

[Majorane]

It's one thing to be open in a relationship, it's another to just be plain nasty about things. Considering this came as an reply to the complaining ladies, I think I can assume that the way we talk about our parters = plain nasty to you. Firstly, there luckily is no such thing as an International Standard of Nastiness in Relationships. So what can be really nasty between two people can be okay between others.
Second, to describe the way some talk about their SO's as 'plain nasty' and 'disgusting' is not kind. In the light of this thread there was some complaining done and yes, maybe a bit over the top. But it upsets me that all of a sudden the complainers (aka 'me') get a scolding for being bad spouses, disgusting, plain nasty. This thread was a nice and not too angry place to vent and all of a sudden we're held against other peoples relationship standards? Why? Wondering why we don't want to share stuff or get upset with stolen brushes is okay. Calling us nasty, disgusting and appaling is uncalled for. That irks me. If you wondered why we talked so disrespectfully about the spouses, why not ask without being mean? You would've gotten the same explanation (we have different boundaries) without upsetting people.

Besides, this thread was, like Miss P. Moan said, a grown up version of 'eeeeew boys' and 'mama he stole my brush AGAIINNN' in the first place.

[Stormynights]

Family members usually use your things because they lose their own. Buy plenty of cheap combs and brushes and leave them out handy and easy to find. Keep yours put away and not easy to find. This will probably solve your problems.

[mz_butterfly]

Considering this came as an reply to the complaining ladies, I think I can assume that the way we talk about our parters = plain nasty to you. Firstly, there luckily is no such thing as an International Standard of Nastiness in Relationships. So what can be really nasty between two people can be okay between others.
Second, to describe the way some talk about their SO's as 'plain nasty' and 'disgusting' is not kind. In the light of this thread there was some complaining done and yes, maybe a bit over the top. But it upsets me that all of a sudden the complainers (aka 'me') get a scolding for being bad spouses, disgusting, plain nasty. This thread was a nice and not too angry place to vent and all of a sudden we're held against other peoples relationship standards? Why? Wondering why we don't want to share stuff or get upset with stolen brushes is okay. Calling us nasty, disgusting and appaling is uncalled for. That irks me. If you wondered why we talked so disrespectfully about the spouses, why not ask without being mean? You would've gotten the same explanation (we have different boundaries) without upsetting people.

Besides, this thread was, like Miss P. Moan said, a grown up version of 'eeeeew boys' and 'mama he stole my brush AGAIINNN' in the first place.



I don't think anyone called YOU nasty, disgusting or appalling. I will go back and re-read the actual posts but nobody called YOU or any of the other ladies disgusting or nasty.

I brought up the fact that I was a little shocked by the way the ladies were opening saying how DISGUSTING AND NASTY their partners were. You sound like a very bitter person and in all honesty, you don't sound like you like or even love your spouse very much even though you are adamantly claiming you do.

My life with my SO is not all sunshine, happiness, butterflies and unicorns. Sometimes he stinks from work and showers later because he is dead tired, sometimes he farts, sometimes he's greasy. I don't find it disgusting and I wouldn't tell everyone how gross or nasty or filthy he is. That isn't love, that's how you talk about someone you don't like.

Sometimes I am greasy headed from too much coconut oil, I feel gross and I tell him "I know I look greasy and probably stink because I didn't shower and am waiting until tomorrow to wash my hair and shower at the same time" Even though I thought I might stink, he said, "no babe, you never stink" (that can't be true, but he said it anyway)

Of course when he is really stinky form work, I tell him. I tell HIM, not countless strangers or friends or family. I tell HIM. "hey honey, you really smell like you've been working and sweating a lot" KINDLY, with love, not with venom and hatefulness.

Yes, your relationship is what it is and that is your life and how you live it. But when you come into a forum with several strangers and someone is indeed appalled by your words, don't be shocked about it. When you speak so vile and unkindly about your spouse, don't expect everyone to agree with your choice of words and to be happy that you are bashing him.

Nobody "scolded you", a couple of us pointed out how shocked we were. Nobody said that YOU were nasty, but that you were BEING nasty in the way you speak bout someone you say you love. There is a difference. You get offended when you think that someone called you nasty, but you don't expect people to get offended or be shocked at your demeanor and harsh words towards your husband.

This is not a grown up version of "ewwwwww boys" , it's bashing and belittling. There is a huge difference.


And of course, you can say anything you wish about your husband, however vile and unkind it is. I can still be shocked and appalled when I see you talk about him in such a vile way when I see your posts. That's the joy of the internet, sometimes we stumble on things that make us smile and laugh and other times we stumble on things that make us cringe or want to gouge our eyes out. Such is life. You will continue to do as you wish, you could change your actions but I don't think you will. I will continue to be shocked, because I cannot change how I react to those words, I am not hat jaded yet.

[swearnsue]

Forums are the best places to rant! Rant away I say!

My DH has a bit of passive aggressive tendencies. He doesn't act it out by using my brush, but he will cross boundaries in other ways. On purpose or not is not known to me. BUT, what he does is chop on my favorite rose bushes, use "my" bathroom to take a big smelly one, brings home things that I can't/shouldn't eat, etc. In other words he messes with anything that is special to ME for no reason other than he can.

He acts like an alpha dog and goes around marking everything.

It's hard to explain but I can tell by the occasional smug look on his face that he has done something that I will not like. Red flag.

[sarahthegemini]

Considering this came as an reply to the complaining ladies, I think I can assume that the way we talk about our parters = plain nasty to you. Firstly, there luckily is no such thing as an International Standard of Nastiness in Relationships. So what can be really nasty between two people can be okay between others.
Second, to describe the way some talk about their SO's as 'plain nasty' and 'disgusting' is not kind. In the light of this thread there was some complaining done and yes, maybe a bit over the top. But it upsets me that all of a sudden the complainers (aka 'me') get a scolding for being bad spouses, disgusting, plain nasty. This thread was a nice and not too angry place to vent and all of a sudden we're held against other peoples relationship standards? Why? Wondering why we don't want to share stuff or get upset with stolen brushes is okay. Calling us nasty, disgusting and appaling is uncalled for. That irks me. If you wondered why we talked so disrespectfully about the spouses, why not ask without being mean? You would've gotten the same explanation (we have different boundaries) without upsetting people.

Besides, this thread was, like Miss P. Moan said, a grown up version of 'eeeeew boys' and 'mama he stole my brush AGAIINNN' in the first place.

Frankly I think you're being hypocritical - complaining that people are being nasty to you (they're not btw) whilst trying to justify your own mean comments, what? Secondly, nobody called you anything. Personally, I said your comments were disgusting. I never, and neither did anyone else, call you disgusting, appalling or a bad spouse. You are literally putting words in people's mouths.

[mouse2cat]

Ok so I need to chime in. I feel like some of these comments are very uncalled for. Any healthy relationship involves dealing with issues and a forum like this is a safe place. The only "disgusting" comments I have read are from people who are denouncing a woman for talking about an issue. She also said in the original post that her kids take her comb too. Isn't that one of the first hygiene things you need to teach your kids? Head lice?

[JustPam]

Yeah I too think this has gone too far. People need to get things off their chest sometimes and they maybe don't want to speak to friends or family or anyone who knows the person they are talking about, for the sake of anonymity. Nobody has been identified by name or face here, its their actions and attitude that have been emphasised on.

I can complain about my OH when he has been sitting at home all day on his days off, watching garbage, eating junk, stinking the place out and not even given a thought about washing a few dishes or running the vacuum around a couple rooms. Still love him, and venting about these little things every so often prevents the build up of anger and more permanent resentment.

So can we be grown ups and agree to disagree and stop this pointless arguing please?

[lapushka]

So can we be grown ups and agree to disagree and stop this pointless arguing please?

This. ^^ Even though I don't think it's arguing - yet. Just agree to disagree. Can we get on with it? ;)

[angstroms]

When I'm at home, we tend to have a lot of house guests, usually hunters my father has met in various parts of the country. They stay to hunt and fish and drink, so they're pretty gross old dudes and they often don't bring their own toiletries. Them using my hair shampoo/conditioner is really my worst pet peeve. I use <$1 conditioner, but I occasionally use an expensive shampoo. Sorry, but if something can't be bought at a drug store and is plastered with health-crazy marketing slogans, maybe don't glob a palmful of it onto your balding head? I love "the guys" and am happy to share other things with them (shotgun shells, scotch) but why do they use what, to me, is clearly pricey salon shampoo?

Hehe...my Df has greasy, dandruffy hair...but guess what?! So do I! My scalp has gotten a lot better since I cam to LHC but...no matter what I try it gets oily super fast and I have to wash it to keep from shedding. I think 6 days is my record, at which point I was shedding so much I had to wash with a sulfate shampoo.

The worst SO-ruined-my-hair-day experiences I have are really more when he hasn't washed his pillowcases for a long time and I sleep over in his dorm with clean hair and wake up with icky hair. That said, I seem to be one of the few in this thread who actually likes sebum/person smell, so I really wouldn't have it any other way. I find it super hard to sleep on a clean pillowcase the first few nights. I started wearing a sleep cap just so I could sleep on gross pillows happily without dirtying up my hair.

[truepeacenik]

Huh...Why is it considered so gross.I mean I have never been married so maybe it is different for married couples,but I'm sure you people do come in contact with your partners even if they have oily hair or kiss them before they brush their teeth,so I don't see the gross,just wash the utensils if it bothers you a lot,no need to buy new and new ones. As for your partner,perhaps a nice serious talk might work?

ETA: And sharing a towel being gross just seems plain odd.I mean they wipe their clean stuff there.You sometimes come in contact with that even if it isn't fresh out of shower. Of course it's better to have your own,but...maybe I am just a dirty person :shrug:


In my case, here is why it's an issue.

My live in partner is a fungal infection Typhoid Mary. He has it all the time and I get patches of it on my skin. Towels, which are damp, are the worst offenders.
On the topic of towels, I dry in particular orders, taught by my parents. Body, crotch, feet. ( hair has it's own, it was first before I needed two.)
I change the sheets every other day.
I don't want his fungal issue. He doesn't want to address it.
It's getting close to being a deal breaker.

Toothbrush, I've shared in a pinch, but I could never see sharing routinely. I'd rather use a finger. Or a chewed twig. Or a washcloth to scrub teeth.

I would not want to share a boar bristle brush, but a non absorptive brush? That doesn't bother me so much.
I do use my brushes on him right after his shower. As he will simply rip scalp to ends and break off hairs, and wonder why his hair won't grow.

I wash my brushes weekly.


But the OP issue is someone who isn't grasping that this is important. Maybe it seems silly to him, but it mattered to her.

Talk. Be clear, no joking tones. It isn't a joke. It's a breach of respect at worst, and miscommunication at best.

Eta, swearinsue, I am now imagining all these manboys lifting their legs. Thanks for the laugh.

People forget they have a signature scent that doesn't come from a bottle.
Your diet and your genetics play into how you digest and metabolize what you take in. (My coworkers often make comments about Caucasian farts....but they can't tell who drinks milk or eats meat by smell. Different wiring?)
Vegetarians do taste better, as actors and the acted upon.

If I already like the smell of a person, I'm usually fine with end of day scent, within reason.
Their scent, not stuff on them.

Scent is a huge barometer of compatibility for me. It is chemistry.

[Rushli]

Wow. I am a little surprised at how this thread went. Everything I have read I consider mild complaining. I have a group of 40 moms all with babies born the same month as my youngest and you don't even want to know what they say about their SOs.

My DH has some behaviors that many people, including DH, would think that is just the way he behaves and should be accepted. However, they offend me and make me feel unloved. He tries to remember the things we have talked about and I try to remember that he does not disrespect me just because he does one of those things. (And if I feel too unloved or jilted, I have to remember to tell him so we can make it right)

The big difference I notice though is that DH and I are able to respectfully talk (usually, haha, it at least always ends respectfully!). He often reverts to his old behavior quickly, but at least we talk. If he ever dismissed what I was feeling as being childish, we would have big issues. Eventually he is able to see my side of it even if he does not agree. Though it can take quite a few talks for it to happen. He forgets waaaay too easily.

It is also about how we grew up communicating. I grew up talking it out or bottling it up and forgetting about it and being very aware of how what I do affects others. He grew up in a family that did whatever they want and yelled at the littlest of things. It took us a bit to figure out communicating as husband and wife since our dating relationship had always been over long distance!

On a light hearted note-
DH was having a hard to remembering to put a few things back when he was done, such as the coffee pot lid, so I labeled them with "put me back". Hehe. We both joked about it, but it really did help. I have been thinking about taking them off those couple items he now returns to their place and putting them on new ones. It does not help that his last roommate of 3 years was a neat freak and did EVERYTHING around their apartment and before that he was in dorms which doesnt require extensive cleaning and before that his mom did everything.

[tigereye]

I do not share combs/brushes with anyone, and would have problems with someone if they didn't respect that, major problems if they suggested I was childish for it.
It's not the greasiness that bothers me - heck, my scalp is so dry half the time that a bit of extra sebum might not be bad - it's other issues that are the problem. It's the same reason that I use a small towel for feet, so I don't spread any issues to other areas of my body, such as my hands (since spread of a verucca was the reason I got warts on my hand as a kid, and they were a pain to get rid of). In my family, everyone has their own colour of towels because my brother and dad are prone to fungal issues, including ringworm a couple of times, and it avoids spreading it to anyone else until it's treated.
With combs it's a similar thing - I don't want fungal infections on my scalp, nor do I want head lice. The two times I shared my hairbrush as a kid, I ended up with head lice, and was taught by my mum afterwards not to share brushes or combs with anyone, as it only spreads these things. A lot of people don't know if they have the starting a of head lice or other issues, or just plain don't tell you, so I don't lend mine to anyone. There is one horn comb at my parents place that anyone can use on the condition that it is washed thoroughly in a mild bleach solution after use.