Getting Sick of My Hair, Nothing Helps?

[danniro]

I've been silicone and sulfate free since last january and started cowashing around the same time. My hair has made a big transformation, it's much curlier and a bit shinier... but that's it. I feel like I'm in a hair rut. I love having long hair but I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing my limp, dull, and frizzy hair (the bottom layer is beautiful, smooth, shiny, and curly, the top layer sucks basically).
I've tried lots of techniques (plopping, LOC, oils, pre-shampoo stuff) but nothing ever really significantly helped. For a while I was diffusing and that temporarily gave me curls but they always fall limp. I've tried rinsing with acv, didn't help. I also battle dandruff and have tried multiple shampoos and treatments. None gave a permanent solution. The last shampoo had SLS and I think it kind of made my hair take a step back, health-wise.
Current routine:
Shampoo once or twice a week with a gentle, non-sulfate shampoo
massage conditioner into scalp in between shampooings
otherwise condition everyday
after shower I pat dry with a Turbie Towel (micro fiber), apply and scrunch Kinky Curly Knot Today, and plop in turbie towel.
Scrunch in Kinky Curly Curling Custard after plopping.

I also recently bought a nice mask that had great reviews on naturallycurly.com
It hasn't helped one bit. Granted I've only used it for 5 minutes or so in the shower, but that's what it says to do on the instructions.
I was thinking of cutting my hair to about my shoulders (taking off maybe 4") but I'm scared to. I also kinda want to try henna dye but I worry it wouldn't look good.
Any advice? So discouraged.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/51126269@N03/14237441920/

[Sarahlabyrinth]

Have you tried stroking 2 drops of baby oil through your hair? It made my hair shinier. Be really sparing with it though.

[GetMeToWaist]

You could try cowashing.

[Knifegill]

Yeah, ditch the shampoo almost entirely. At least try it out. My hair has always looked dry and frizzy, but since I started Conditioner Only a month ago, it's got sheen and way less frizz.

[Madora]

I've been silicone and sulfate free since last january and started cowashing around the same time. My hair has made a big transformation, it's much curlier and a bit shinier... but that's it. I feel like I'm in a hair rut. I love having long hair but I'm tired of looking in the mirror and seeing my limp, dull, and frizzy hair (the bottom layer is beautiful, smooth, shiny, and curly, the top layer sucks basically).
I've tried lots of techniques (plopping, LOC, oils, pre-shampoo stuff) but nothing ever really significantly helped. For a while I was diffusing and that temporarily gave me curls but they always fall limp. I've tried rinsing with acv, didn't help. I also battle dandruff and have tried multiple shampoos and treatments. None gave a permanent solution. The last shampoo had SLS and I think it kind of made my hair take a step back, health-wise.
Current routine:
Shampoo once or twice a week with a gentle, non-sulfate shampoo
massage conditioner into scalp in between shampooings
otherwise condition everyday
after shower I pat dry with a Turbie Towel (micro fiber), apply and scrunch Kinky Curly Knot Today, and plop in turbie towel.
Scrunch in Kinky Curly Curling Custard after plopping.

I also recently bought a nice mask that had great reviews on naturallycurly.com
It hasn't helped one bit. Granted I've only used it for 5 minutes or so in the shower, but that's what it says to do on the instructions.
I was thinking of cutting my hair to about my shoulders (taking off maybe 4") but I'm scared to. I also kinda want to try henna dye but I worry it wouldn't look good.
Any advice? So discouraged.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/51126269@N03/14237441920/

Generally speaking, try starting out with a clean hair slate. How? By clarifying with a clarifying shampoo. Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying shampoo has received good reviews here. After clarifying (which will leave your hair feeling like hay), do a deep conditioning treatment.

Now I realize your hair is slightly curly and you need to moisturize. But try and keep the moisturizing down to once a week. Leave off the hair masks and other oils and anything else that weighs down your hair.

If you need something to give your hair slip (and moisturize at the same time) try a tiny drop or two of Mineral Oil (also known as baby oil).

You apply a drop or two of Mineral oil to your HANDS (never directly from bottle to hair), rub it well all over the hands (only 2 drops, not more) then run your hands thru and down your hair several times until the oil sheen has almost disappeared from your hands.

MO helps tame frizzies and is a great detangler. It leaves no after scent and washes out in the next shampoo. And it is dead cheap. It is most effective on hair that has been clarified first, but you can use it on DAMP hair as well.

I would ditch the micro fiber product and switch to something else. I find micro fiber products too "catchy" and not hair friendly.

As for washing, try and find something gentle that also addresses your dandruff issue. You might want to dilute your shampoo with a little bit of water.

I'd also stick to just shampooing and conditioning a little after the shampooing (not before).

I assume you are staying away from unfriendly hair things such as hot rollers, curling irons, bleach, backcombing/teasing/blow frying (except on cold setting).

If you are worried about moisturizing your hair, stick with the MO (2 drops) every other day.

The more you can streamline your shampooing/conditioning/moisturizing needs, the better for your hair. Less is more! And washing once a week is adequate. Good luck!

[Katyusha]

Did you like your hair better with silicones maybe? If you did, there is nothing wrong in using them again, the only thing you have to do is clarify once in a while.

[Zugar]

I found something that can help with some hair masks, to provide extra moisture. Even if it says on the tub "leave on for three-five minutes, then rinse", I´ve instead approached it as if I were doing a hot oil-treatment. First, wash your hair with shampoo. Towel-dry in turban. Put a generous amount of mask in hair, comb with a wide-tooth comb. Wrap your hair in cling paper, covering all your hair. Warm a big towel in the microwave, and put it as a turban around the cling-filmed hair. Leave on for at least 30 minutes. Rinse well. Condition. Towel-dry in a turban. Put a small amount of oil in hair. This has worked wonders when I´ve needed moisture, and it really brings out the curls.

[AlexDig]

I have that frizzy-too-layer-problem as well but I've gotten a lot of benefit from using aloe vera gel as my hair gel. It holds the curl and cuts down on frizz but doesn't get crunchy. (Not that you asked this but whenever I feel like cutting my hair because I'm frustrated with it, I buy a hair toy instead to play with...keeps me distracted for a while :-) )

[Anje]

Don't go with henna if you're not sure. It's too permanent for that. However, maybe some steaks of a fun wash-out color will cheer you up? (For what it's worth, I think Manic Panic's Wildfire is very close to henna in color, but it'll wash out. Both will likely make your hair pretty darn orange.)

[danniro]

I've been cowashing since about January. I got it so I didn't even hardly need to shampoo, but even though my hair wasn't oily I noticed I didn't have as much curl as after I shampoo'd.
I haven't tried baby oil/mineral oi though (aren't they about the same?). I'll give them a try, but I've always found oils to have either no effect, or make my hair oily when I tried to add a bit more.
I don't know about using a clarifying shampoo. I think my hair is too sensitive, if after using sls shampoo paired with a deep conditioner I've noticed I now have to shampoo about twice as often. Using a clarifying shampoo could take MONTHS to reverse.
When I used silicones (and sls shampoos) my hair was only 2a and very light and poofy and frizzy... it had no weight/moisture to it at all. I definitely wouldn't go back.
I think I will try using the hair mask differently though. And I'll try aloe vera because I have some.
I would probably use a brown or blonde henna though
Thanks for all the replies!

[spidermom]

I don't think there's such a thing as blonde henna. Henna is orange-red. It can be blended with other things (like indigo) for brown shades.

[two_wheels]

Spidermom's right, henna is orange. Anything else is lies, and who knows what's in it?

I think you should try cassia if you want conditioning without too much colour. It would make you a tiny bit more golden, if anything, and it's not permanent. Unlike henna...

I personally cannot dry my hair even with a microfibre towel if I don't want frizz. I can't even scrunch product in because the wave pattern is so wimpy. I have to rake in the product, then sit around and wait for it to drip dry. Seriously. Have you tried that? It's annoying, but if that's the way it is, at least you will know and you can start from there.

[ARG]

I don't think there's such a thing as blonde henna. Henna is orange-red. It can be blended with other things (like indigo) for brown shades.

She probably means hendigo or cassia.

Have you tried diluting shampoo? Maybe diluting a clarifying shampoo would help. Build up of oils can (and do!) happen. Do you have hard or soft water? Also, what are you doing to comb/brush your hair?

[danniro]

Huh, well there is some supposed blonde henna on amazon....so-so reviews though. Haven't decided if I even want to dye my hair, or if I'd go light or dark. But I've read so many testimonials where people said henna made their hair shinier and healthier, so...
I'll look into cassia.
I think scrunching helps form my curls better, I'm pretty sure letting my hair drip dry would make it dry straighter. I think I have about no elasticity. But like I said I did have better formed curls when I diffused, but that takes some time and I'm a bit lazy.
No I haven't tried diluting shampoo. I just am too scared to go back to sls, my hair hates shampoo in general. I've NEVER found a shampoo that doesn't make my hair dry and frizzy.
I haven't been brushing out the oils for a while but I should start again, I think that's what extended my wash days in the first place. And our water here is very soft

[two_wheels]

Well, IMO natural texture is the unmanipulated texture. Sure, it's straighter than scrunched, but if it doesn't frizz, I'll take that as a sign that that's how it wants to be.

The point with "blonde henna" is that yes, people sell something called "blonde henna", but it is not actually henna, because henna is orange. It could be something benign, like cassia, but if it's labelled as something it cannot possibly be, then who knows what is in the box? E.g. "Black henna" often has PPDs. I say this as someone with no fear of synthetic stuff in general. It's just important to know what's going on your head.

[jeanniet]

One suggestion I would make is to apply any products you use to soaking wet hair prior to any kind of plopping. Kinky Curly products in particular are meant to be applied to very wet hair, but in general the more you manipulate hair as it's drying, the more frizz you'll cause. Use the KC very sparingly, too. I'd also ditch the microfiber towel and use either a t-shirt or flour sack towel (you can get those at Target or Walmart). Microfiber causes frizz for a lot of people.

So what I'd do is: in the shower after you've finished the rest of your routine, flip your head over and scrunch in first the KCKT and then the KCCC (or smooth/rake/scrunch, however you usually do it), then go directly to plopping in either the t-shirt or flour sack towel. See if that makes a difference, and then you can tweak it if you need to.

[Zugar]

This might be a stupid question, but when you say your hair don´t like shampoo, is that if you only apply shampoo, or when using conditioner after as well? Co-washing did nothing for my hair, I need some kind of soap in there, and I need to conditioner afterwards. Cones and all.

[ExpectoPatronum]

I'm another person for mineral oil! I use mine after Kinky Curly Knot Today and my ends stay soft and moisturized until my next wash. It really helps with my frizz too.

[78Whispers]

I'm sorry you are so frustrated. I've been there.

Many fine haired curlies need protein, which can help with the wave pattern. It's basically structure for your curls. But if you don't need it, it can make hair crunchy feeling. However, all it takes to correct that is big doses of moisture. It doesn't hurt to try. A gelatin treatment is dirt cheap, but smells gross.

Henna is always orange/red. Anything that says a different color and henna I would avoid because if their marketing is that deceptive, I find the product suspect. Henna is also permanent so it's good to be sure.

I use cassia and amla on my hair for treatments. The cassia is conditioning but doesn't show up on my hair. Amla is supposed to help reinforce curl patterns, but you definitely want to research it and see if there is color change potential. It also helps with dandruff. Neem oil reeks to high heaven but can really help dandruff. Neem powder can help too.

If you dilute your shampoo with water you use less, so less potential damage, and it is easier for me to really manipulate the scalp and help get it clean and flake free. I also scrub my scalp, lightly, so lightly, with the tines of my Tangle Teezer with shampoo on, and if you are using a dandruff shampoo, it needs to be left in for a few minutes. I like Shea Moisture Black Soap and Say Yes To Carrots Scalp Relief, both of which have salicyclic acid to help loosen things up and move them along. Those are both SLS free.

Kinky Curly products, especially the Custard, tend to be full of glycerin. Glycerin is a humectant and it needs either a certain dew point or to be bonded with water (which is why you use the products soaking wet) to do more good than harm. I have to be careful with humectants (glycerin, aloe, honey, agave) here in Colorado or my hair becomes a giant poof. A humectant works to balance the moisture around it, and if there is more moisture in your hair than the air, guess where it gets it. I have also found most of the Kinky Curly styling products to weigh my hair down and pull out the curls. I think the shampoos and conditioners and oils are great, but I can't use the stylers unless I am putting my hair up.

The under layer of my hair forms much prettier waves and curls, while the top is frizzy and not as clumpy until a few days have passed and at that point I assume sebum and oil are starting to force my waves into a semblance of pattern. The canopy layer takes the most abuse and mechanical damage, not to mention the sun. That might just be the way your hair is.

I don't have dandruff (dermatologist diagnoses) but I may as well because the air is so dry here and my scalp gets super cranky, plus I have always been a wash stretcher. I really need to lightly massage my scalp with the times of my Tangle Teezer or a comb and brush the flakes away with a boar bristle brush after. This really help my scalp and I think my hair grows faster. I also use Jamaican Black Castor Oil with a few drops of essential oils (peppermint, rosemary, cedar wood, lavender) which smells great to massage my scalp the night before I wash. This helps moisturize, and if you have actual dandruff, it is bad for the little creatures that cause it. I use conditioner to break this up in the morning, and if you already co-wash it might help. Coconut oil is also good for the same things.

If what you want is long hair cutting won't help. Hair needs to be protected, especially dry and or fragile hair, and cutting four inches off may really limit what kind of protective styles you can do.

I hope you get something worked out soon so you can enjoy your hair! Good luck! I got tired of fighting my texture and having unreliable results so mostly I damp bun my hair and enjoy those waves. That helps fight the frizz a lot and with far less product for me than trying to make my natural waves happy enough to make an appearance.

[danniro]

Well I wasn't really planning on using blonde henna anyway, I think going darker would be better. But not black.
Okay, maybe I'll try using a t-shirt then. Though I thought microfiber was supposed to help with frizz!
I always use conditioner after I shampoo. And I usually use a deep conditioner, not that one or the other makes difference. Cowashing actually seemed to work pretty well for my hair, I need to extend my wash days and keep doing that.
I've tried protein treatments before though, and they either didn't make a difference or made my hair crunchy. Kind of gave up on that. I'll definitely look into cassia though, maybe neem oil too. I've been using a Shea Moisture conditioner, I didn't know the black soap helped with dandruff so I may give it a try! I have been looking at an Aubrey Organics dandruff sls-free shampoo for some time also.
I guess it's possible the Kinky Curl products are too much for my hair. I should look into some other ones. It seems though that a lot of non-popular brand curly hair products are geared towards african-american hair. I think I should try the Deva Curl products some though too.
I looked into jamaican black castor oil before but everyone told me it would be too heavy for my hair. I wouldn't mind using it but I would worry that I could easily end up with greasy hair-not the surprise you want when you're already running late for school!
I live in Oregon, and the air isn't generally too dry. We get a lot of rain and it's often humid in the spring or summer (not like the south though!). My hair gets really terrible in the winter with all the moisture in the air.
My logic with cutting my hair is that the majority of the hair on my head suffered through the sls shampoo everyday and cone conditioners, and only part of it has grown since I stopped all that. So maybe I need a fresh start...I'm not sure though. I think my hair grows fairly quickly.

[jeanniet]

Don''t pay attention to marketing. Curl pattern is less important than hair properties--porosity, density, etc. I just wouldn't go for anything too heavy. I personally like KCCC, but don't use it anymore because it just takes too long to dry. I don't like Deva products either, but the gels seem to be pretty popular. If you want to try a different gel, pick up some LA Looks Sport. It's pretty hard hold, so I don't think you'd need to use much. Dirt cheap, too, so if it doesn't work you're only out a couple bucks. Very popular with wavies/curlies. Use it on soaking wet hair as well.

[GetMeToWaist]

You could actually try WO if you're bored/want a change in routine? And what about pin curls, sponge rollers, braidwaves, rope braid twists, sock bun curls, rag curls if you want curlier hair?

[LadyCelestina]

Have you tried chelating ?
Other than that,curlies do have frizz on the outer layer of hair.It's normal.Straighties do have it too,to a degree.If your hair is limp it's time to either clarify or use less heavy products.

[danniro]

I tried Devacurl gel today and I was fairly pleased with how my hair turned out. Still quite a bit of frizz but maybe a weekly mask will help.
I don't know what WO or chelating is...
I don't really ever do much with my hair. Ponytail if it's oily or a braid if I didn't have enough drying time before leaving the house. I'm not sure if I'd want to put that much effort into my hair, it should look good normally...in theory.
I don't think my hair needs to be clarified though, that would kill it. I think it's mostly that the length of my hair really pulls out the curls. Which is why it'd be fun to cut it shorter to see how the curls form at that length, since my hair has never been naturally curly and that short.

[lapushka]

I think it's mostly that the length of my hair really pulls out the curls. Which is why it'd be fun to cut it shorter to see how the curls form at that length, since my hair has never been naturally curly and that short.

From your description, you have wavy hair. Wavy hair gets less wavy the shorter it is - normally. Only curly, really curly hair, gets curlier the shorter it gets. Just FYI. :)

[danniro]

Lol no my hair is curly, just not super duper curly. Only have a few perfect ringlets here and there on a good day.

[78Whispers]

My avatar picture is a Ouidad cut. This is a lot of wonky layers that do not go into updos very well but it looks cute styled. It also needs to be re-cut every few months, maybe 6 or so at the most. I had to cut to shoulder length to even it out once I decided I didn't want to mess with it every day and keep up the maintenance. My un-Ouidad cut, just plopped with product, looks a lot like your avatar. I know my waves and curls do better with length, but I do understand your reasoning about thinking it may curl up more with less length. You could always try and see. Hair grows back.

Castor oil is too thick and goopy for my hair to leave on, so I just massage it on my scalp the night before I wash and co-wash it out. I have never had any troubles getting it out with a good conditioner massage in the morning, but I also understand your hesitancy. If you buy it at Sally it's about $6 and you can always return it if it doesn't work.

If protein didn't hurt your hair I would keep trying. It fills in the natural gaps of the protein where virgin, damaged hair should have it, and it could be a cumulative effect.

It literally took me years to figure out the best, least damaging, lowest maintenance, highest wave pattern retention routine for me, and it was all trial and error. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula, so I learned to look at the experiments as part of the process, and grew to enjoy it. And to bun and braid when things went awry. And every now and then I try something new, but just one thing at a time.

[jeanniet]

Lol no my hair is curly, just not super duper curly. Only have a few perfect ringlets here and there on a good day.

Curly hair is type 3 and 4. Type 2 is wavy/wurly. Lapuska is right, because type 2 hair typically doesn't have root curl and needs some length to really show its texture. Type 3 and 4 hair has root curl and usually the curling starts at a shorter length. I've seen a lot of wavies lament that when they've cut their hair too much, they lose their wave.. I get a lot more curl with a shorter cut, but part of that is because I have thick hair and the weight does pull the curl out. If you think this might be the case for you, you'd see your curl type at least at the ends of your hair (spirals), although if you comb/brush your hair dry that will pull the curl out as well.

[jeanniet]

My avatar picture is a Ouidad cut. This is a lot of wonky layers that do not go into updos very well but it looks cute styled. It also needs to be re-cut every few months, maybe 6 or so at the most. I had to cut to shoulder length to even it out once I decided I didn't want to mess with it every day and keep up the maintenance. My un-Ouidad cut, just plopped with product, looks a lot like your avatar. I know my waves and curls do better with length, but I do understand your reasoning about thinking it may curl up more with less length. You could always try and see. Hair grows back.

Castor oil is too thick and goopy for my hair to leave on, so I just massage it on my scalp the night before I wash and co-wash it out. I have never had any troubles getting it out with a good conditioner massage in the morning, but I also understand your hesitancy. If you buy it at Sally it's about $6 and you can always return it if it doesn't work.

If protein didn't hurt your hair I would keep trying. It fills in the natural gaps of the protein where virgin, damaged hair should have it, and it could be a cumulative effect.

It literally took me years to figure out the best, least damaging, lowest maintenance, highest wave pattern retention routine for me, and it was all trial and error. Unfortunately, there is no magic formula, so I learned to look at the experiments as part of the process, and grew to enjoy it. And to bun and braid when things went awry. And every now and then I try something new, but just one thing at a time.

It's hard to tell from a little avatar picture, but your hair looks more like 2c and maybe 2c/3a. I'm curious why you only typed it 1c/2a?

[danniro]

I know my hair isn't that curly...My mom has the same hair though, hers is shoulder length and pretty curly. Her bottom layer is almost straight but the top layer is all ringlets.
Also the pieces that frame my face are significantly shorter than the rest of my hair and also are so curly they kink up and make unattractive bumps -_-
The few perfect curls I usually see start about ear length on my head, so that could be them being puller out. I kind of doubt I'm a type 3 but I feel at this point I could be a type 2c but maybe there's still some damage preventing my true curls? When I read the 2c description on naturallycurly.com it sounds a lot like me. But my ringlets aren't that big and only the top layer of my hair is coarse-ish.
78Whispers- I think there's a devacurl stylist at a salon in my area and I was thinking of seeing her but I think it's $60 :( haven't heard of ouidad cuts though

[memeow]

I know you've said you don't want to clarify, but if you do decide to cut I think you should try a clarifying wash first. If you're worried about it harming your hair, do a coconut oil pretreatment and moisturize thoroughly afterwards. SLS doesn't work for everyone as an every day thing, but it's not going to do permanent damage in one washing.

Do the outer hairs have splits or white dots? It's possible that you're dealing with damaged hair, in which case it won't be possible to fully rehabilitate it. But if you're not seeing either of these, it's more likely that you either have some build up, possibly left over from your silicone days (hence the recommendation to clarify) or that you just haven't found the right routine balance yet.

With regards to oils either "doing nothing" or "looking oily"--I had this problem too, because I was expecting dramatic results. In general, you want to put in a teensy amount of oil that will look like it's not doing anything. Then go about your day and see if you notice any difference. If you can tell that you put oil on when you're applying it, you're probably using too much. Personally I like mineral oil (you are right, this is the same thing as baby oil) immediately after washing, but just a single drop of it, rubbed between my hands and then worked into my hair.

[danniro]

Ok, I'll think about clarifying. Though I do feel using the SLS dandruff shampoo the few times I did really took some of the natural moisture out of my hair- that is, my hair gets oily more quickly now. I was looking for a clarifying shampoo at one point but I couldn't find one that had good enough reviews, they all had people who said it made their hair like straw. Also, my hair doesn't like coconut oil, it makes it rough and dry :/ I think that actually happened with a couple oils. But I have yet to try mineral oil!
I don't think I have many split ends, maybe a few. I've seen the white dots before though. But I don't think my outer layer has buildup, it's always so dry and poofy.
So you use the MO right out of the shower?

[memeow]

Clarifying shampoo definitely may make your hair feel like straw. This is really common if you have damage, but it is quite drying and can make even perfectly healthy hair feel unpleasant.

Did the dandruff shampoo you tried contain silicones? It seems very unlikely to me that it would have affected the chemical structure of your hair for more than a few days, but build-up might explain the resulting oiliness. It's also possible that it contained ingredients that your scalp reacted to. The advantage of a good clarifying shampoo is that it should have very few ingredients, so unless you are specifically allergic to SLS its unlikely to cause a dramatic reaction.

Coconut oil also dries out my hair if I use it as a leave-in, but I put it in a few hours before washing sometimes to try to avoid hydral fatigue. For this application I do just slather it on, since I don't care whether it looks greasy.

I do use the mineral oil right out of the shower. Well, I try to get some amount of water out of my hair first so as not to make a huge mess, but I put it in when it's still "wet", not "damp". It makes it really easy to comb through and I think it does keep more moisture in the ends.

[danniro]

But isn't straw bad?
No it didn't. At least none ending in cone or conol.
I only used coconut oil as a pre-poo, I figured it would be too heavy for my hair otherwise. My hair looked pretty bad once it dried. Also had this odd rough feeling when I massaged the shampoo in.

[lapushka]

But isn't straw bad?
No it didn't. At least none ending in cone or conol.
I only used coconut oil as a pre-poo, I figured it would be too heavy for my hair otherwise. My hair looked pretty bad once it dried. Also had this odd rough feeling when I massaged the shampoo in.

Straw isn't bad if you condition well after. Try conditioning twice maybe. It will help hugely (the link is in my signature).

[danniro]

I guess so. I'm just hesitant because overnight treatments and in the shower treatments have never really helped me!
But I've never tried with a hot towel before.

[Madora]

Ok, I'll think about clarifying. Though I do feel using the SLS dandruff shampoo the few times I did really took some of the natural moisture out of my hair- that is, my hair gets oily more quickly now. I was looking for a clarifying shampoo at one point but I couldn't find one that had good enough reviews, they all had people who said it made their hair like straw. Also, my hair doesn't like coconut oil, it makes it rough and dry :/ I think that actually happened with a couple oils. But I have yet to try mineral oil!
I don't think I have many split ends, maybe a few. I've seen the white dots before though. But I don't think my outer layer has buildup, it's always so dry and poofy.
So you use the MO right out of the shower?

The clarifying shampoo (Neutrogena Anti-Residue Clarifying shampoo has received several good reviews here) makes the hair "feel like straw" because it has done what it was formulated to do, STRIP your hair of all the buildup. You restore your hair by doing a deep conditioning treatment afterwards. Your hair is restored to normal and the "hay like" feeling is done (at least, that is how it worked for me. I just used 4 drops of mineral oil, not a conditioner and not a treatment).

[danniro]

Hmmmmmm...... But how can I know if my hair really needs it?

[memeow]

Hmmmmmm...... But how can I know if my hair really needs it?

You can't, but if you're frustrated enough with your hair that you're thinking of chopping, it's something to try. It's also a common recommendation for people who are frustrated with something about their hair, because it's basically like pressing a "reset" button.

In general, clarifying is recommended when switching from a SLS/cone routine to any of the "no poo" routines. This is because cones can build up on your hair and need to be removed with a detergent. If you still had some in your hair when you stopped using shampoo, they are likely still there. If this isn't your problem, clarifying is unlikely to do any harm, and will give you a clean slate for experimenting with new conditioners/moisturizers etc. If you do have build up, it doesn't matter how many new routines you try because as long as the buildup remains nothing will work. This is why clarifying is a common first recommendation.

[Anje]

Hmmmmmm...... But how can I know if my hair really needs it?
After going through the buildup-clarifying cycle a couple times, you eventually figure out that when your hair feels like X, it's time to clarify. Do try it though; oftentimes it's a revelation for people who haven't made a specific point of removing buildup before, and the risk that it'll damage your hair is very low. Follow up with some deep conditioner that your hair loves and see how it feels.

[jeanniet]

If your hair starts curling up around your ears, you may see a difference with a little weight off...maybe, hard to say. You also have to consider what a proper Deva cut is (I'm not experienced with Ouidad cuts, so can't comment on them)--that is, it's a curl-by-curl cut, so if you straighten your hair it may look funky. I don't straighten, so I don't care about it being even. And it's definitely layered. A Deva cut may also be more effective for curlier hair, although a lot of wavies seem to be pretty happy with them. The difficult part may be finding a good stylist for the cut. The first stylist I had did a decent cut (but it wasn't exactly strict Deva technique) the first couple of times, and then got really sloppy and his final cut pretty much sucked. I went home and had to clip a lot of individual curls to get it to look better. The stylist I have now is really amazing. She works almost exclusively with curly hair, and it shows. Now my curls pop even after several days. So it's worth finding someone good. Standard price for a Deva cut with styling is about $60-75, and more in a city. Some stylists offer a cut-only price after the first appointment, so you can save about $20 if you skip styling.

[danniro]

Well I never really did a clarifying when I switched to no-cones, I figured using a normal SLS shampoo would get rid of it all...So it wouldn't have?
It's been a few days since I've washed and I've since only been mildly co-washing and water washing, today I'm liking how my hair looks it's fairly shiny looking :D too bad it couldn't look like this right after I shampoo.
Anje- I haven't found that deep conditioner my hair loves yet, which is why I'm leery of clarifying because I don't have a quick hair fix.
My mom always nags me about cutting my hair (I think she's trying to mold me into a mini-her) she thinks my hair with be less frizzy if it's shorter (doubtful imo as her hair is still quick frizzy, although she dyes her hair and still uses SLS shampoos and obviously when you get to be 50+/of menopause age your hair changes). But I am a bit curious about how my hair will be shorter, I feel like summer is the time for long hair and if I got it cut a bit below my shoulder now it'd be long again by summer so it wouldn't be the end of the world for me.

[lapushka]

Well I never really did a clarifying when I switched to no-cones, I figured using a normal SLS shampoo would get rid of it all...So it wouldn't have?

To clarify a normal silicone-free SL(E)S shampoo should do.

[danniro]

Oh ok so I shouldn't really have any build-up then

[nerdymomma]

I will second the recommendation a few pages back to try a new hairtoy. Your hair looks about the same length as mine and I made the mistake of chopping it to shoulder when I was frustrated and bored at BSL the last time. This time I am looking for new things to do with my new lengths, instead of turning to scissors. Tweaking your washing routine may help, and giving yourself a new toy or something to play with and feel pretty about may also help how you feel about it. :cheer: I am jus here to encourage you to not give up!

[danniro]

What kind of toys do you suggest? At the moment I have the basics: straightener, blowdryer, headband, bobbys, elastics, and a hot air brush. I never really do anything with my hair lol.
I could dye it still though...maybe temporary henna.

[Panth]

Oh ok so I shouldn't really have any build-up then

Cones aren't the only thing that can build-up. Oils, waxes, shea butter, certain waxy herbal extracts. Lots of things can build-up on the hair.

(Also, for me at least, a clarifying shampoo does significantly more than a plain regular sulphate-containing shampoo.)

[nerdymomma]

What kind of toys do you suggest? At the moment I have the basics: straightener, blowdryer, headband, bobbys, elastics, and a hot air brush. I never really do anything with my hair lol.
I could dye it still though...maybe temporary henna.

I just want to caution you, henna is really super permanent!! Head over to the herbal haircare forum and spend some time perusing the various henna threads. It is a big commitment. Personally, I am going for it, (this weekend, yay!) but I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about it and feel I have a good idea of what to expect. Maybe you were thinking of cassia?

Anyway when I said hairtoy, I was thinking of those pretty extras which add a bit of fun to wearing long hair. Flexi-8s, forks, sticks, swords, parandi, and etc. I personally am a flexi addict, but I plan to expand my horizons with some other things, maybe a nice wooden hair fork or some acrylic sticks, I really can't decide. Go over to the conventional hair products forum and check out some of the fun hairtoys threads for ideas!!

I hope some of these ideas help you love your hair again!

[lapushka]

What kind of toys do you suggest? At the moment I have the basics: straightener, blowdryer, headband, bobbys, elastics, and a hot air brush. I never really do anything with my hair lol.
I could dye it still though...maybe temporary henna.

I'd say spend some time around the forum first. Sorry if this comes out the wrong way, but you sound like a typical newbie. ;)

There's plenty more out there, and you'll learn as you go!

And there's nothing temporary about henna. Cassia will color as well, on light blonde hair, so *do* *a* *strand* *test* *first*!

[danniro]

Wow I haven't really heard of any of those toys...Hair skills are minimal. Have only in the past months mastered the "messy bun" ;)/?
Okay, I'll have to look into cassia a bit. Ideally the dye would be something that would grow out and still look pretty good... I wonder if there are any tricks to picking color? Ok I'll go check out other posts!

[nerdymomma]

Oh my goodness, go check out some of the hairstyles threads! So. Fun. Try a pencil bun first (there are tutorials on youtube), it is super simple and you can use a pencil or chopstick, so materials are easy to get your hands on.

[danniro]

Haha. Ok will do!