Thinking about cutting my hair, don't know what to do!

[TheHowlingWolf]

My hair is now at 43 1/3" & my goal length was 45", which is a little past classic length on me. I love the look of classic/ftl hair. I like getting compliments on how long my hair is. But my hair is driving my crazy!!!!! & it's ugly! The weight of it makes it so that I have NO volume, it has no shape, the length/weight has stretched my natural wave/curl, and it's really prone to tangles. I was thinking about getting layers, but I like a nice, thick braid (my go to style), and I'm afraid if I get my hair layered, it will create an even more noticeable taper when I wear my hair in braids (I don't mind the layers sticking out because I like the messy look).

I'm just wondering if this is something all/most long haired people go through? It's long enough now that I sit on it, and it's more annoying than I thought it would be. I know wearing your hair down causes more daily damage, but I would still like it to be an option every once in a while, and right now, it's not.
When I shut my eyes and imagine myself with long hair, the fantasy looks a lot different than what it actually looks like when I look in the mirror. I try to do pretty braids and different styles, but I will brush my hair out/detangle before I start styling, and my hair still tangles so badly! I just give up right away. I know cones would make my hair less tangley, but my hair hates cones! They dry out and suffocate my hair.

So basically my question is, is there anything you suggest I do? Should I just cut it? I'm thinking of getting it cut back to hip or bcl. And I was thinking about getting layers too.....but my question to people with long hair & layers is, does it greatly affect your braid thickness? I want to get face framing layers but besides that, I'm not sure what I should tell the person who cuts my hair!
I just don't want to regret getting layers because I've gotten layers before (that were cut really badly) & growing them out is a pain, especially since I'm impatient.
I know I should be excited that I'm really close to my goal length, but tbh I'm just so overwhelmed by how much my hair annoys me, and underwhelmed by how it looks!

[FallingDarkness]

Give it two weeks and if you still think that you want to cut your hair, then cut it.
I would advise against the layers though, unless you think that you're going to be wearing your hair down more often than not. Layers make braiding a pain (random ends sticking out everywhere) and buns are harder too.
Maybe try putting it in a bun more often so it's completely out of your way?
For what it's worth your hair looks gorgeous to me, and I would never cut my hair if I were in your shoes <3 Sooo jealous LOL.

[lapushka]

I'm just wondering if this is something all/most long haired people go through? It's long enough now that I sit on it, and it's more annoying than I thought it would be. I know wearing your hair down causes more daily damage, but I would still like it to be an option every once in a while, and right now, it's not.

This is *very* common when hair is getting a *liiitle* too long for comfort. Maybe cut an inch or so back and see how you feel, before doing more drastic things in any case!

[TheHowlingWolf]

I just realized something, today it has been officially 1 1/2 years since I got my hair cut. I got my hair cut for my birthday in 2013 & today is my half birthday. Anyway, I probably should have specified, an english braid is my go to style when going out, but if I'm at home or just running errands, I put my hair in a bun. So my hair is in a bun probably 75% of the time, but it still annoys me how a bun and simple braid are the only styles I can do. & I sit on my hair when I'm doing s&d & detangling, and it's supper annoying. & I don't mind ends sticking out of my styles because I like the messier look. When it comes to layers, I'm just nervous it will make my hair/ends look a lot thinner.

[Saldana]

I second the 'wait two weeks' advice. Then, if you still want to cut it, then cut it. I also advise against layers...unless you really want to wear it down most of the time. Let's say you really liked it when it was BSL. What I would say to the hairdresser: Cut it to BSL (and show her exactly where that is), and put layers in it.

If you don't want the layers, then if you decide to cut it, cut it back to the last length you remember really enjoying it. *shrug*...in the end, it's just hair. If you decide you want it longer again, grow it. If it's not short enough, cut it. :)

[cathair]

If your only 1.5 inches away from you original goal, I would wait till you get there to decide. It isn't far away and you might regret it later if you cut shorter. If you still want to cut then, I would do like lapushka says, cut an inch or so at a time and see how you feel.

[TheHowlingWolf]

Well tbh it has been about 2 weeks since I've wanted to cut my hair lol. But I still think I will wait. I'm moving to Chicago soon & I asked my mom if she would pay for my haircut as a "going away" present lol. But I probably wont cut it until a week before I leave.
Do you think if I just got face framing layers, it would look okay? Or would it be weird, like a backwards mullet? lol

[Madora]

I don't really have layers but my hair is uneven because years ago I stupidly cut off the tips of my braids (w/o loosening them) to even up the ends. Very bad mistake! If you have layers, you've got taper and your braid will look tapered,not to mention loose ends popping out and driving you nuts. Also, layers are much harder to do S and D on. One length hair is stronger too.

Also, you state that you don't have much luck with creating updos, and that your hair is tangly. Have you tried clarifying recently??(followed by a conditioning treatment).

How do you create your updos? Do you always detangle your hair with a comb before starting the updo??? Detangled hair is a LOT easier to work with when you're doing updos!

As for face framing layers...well, if you can stand tendrils of hair getting in your way...plus the time it will take for them to grow out again should you want to grow your hair longer, then go for it.

You have a beautiful head of hair, TheHowlingWolf. It would be a pity to cut it in layers..BUT it is your hair, and if you are not happy with it, then find a length/style that is more appealing and less trouble. I still say that one length shows your hair off to its best advantage...makes it look thick, vibrant and healthy. Just my two cents. Good luck!

[TheHowlingWolf]

Yeah, I detangle my hair before I try to style it. It seems as though I can NEVER get all the tangles out. I will detangle, think all the tangles are out, run my fingers through my hair, and find 5 other tangles. It seems as though my hair can never get tangle free. I don't use a shampoo specifically for clarifying, but I do shampoo my length with my shampoo (john masters organics spearmint meadowsweet scalp stimulating shampoo) every once in a while when I heavy oil my hair.

[Kay_Robideau]

You could get an inch or 1.5 from the ends to make it less tangled and healthy... I prefer this type of look the only other thing would be to cut your hair in a v shape...but like I said I think you would regret it I prefer this length...maybe in a few years you would like the extreme v shape cut for a change....

[rusika1]

The options for hair are mostly limited to up, down, or pulled back in a braid/pony. What exactly do you want to be able to do with your hair? If you get your hair layered, of course your ends will have more taper, but if you want to wear it down more often that might be the right decision for you. Mostly it sounds as if you just aren't happy with your hair at it's current length, and that's okay, the Goal Police won't haul you away for changing your mind.

When did you last enjoy your hair? at hip? waist? BSL? Lapushka's suggestion of cutting an inch or two sounds like a good place to start. (I'd suggest taking off however much you need to remove so you can't sit on it anymore since it sounds like that really bothers you.) You can always take off more length/add layers later if you still aren't satisfied.

[winship2]

I just got rid of my layers-- so happy. They were fine at BSL but as my hair got longer they just made it harder to manage splits and were messy in braids and buns.

You said that you do shampoo the length after a heavy oiling, but didn't say that you ever clarify. I would definitely clarify first, with a clarifying shampoo. Many people here use the Neutrogena product. I know that my hair is annoyingly prone to tangling and occasional clarifying helps. So try that, and then try cutting to remove damage that might have accumulated since it's been 1 1/2 years since you trimmed. I'd take off two inches. Then see how it behaves and how you feel. Might also seek out a conditioner with more slip.

[TheHowlingWolf]

How often should I clarify? I've heard some people clarify once a week, once a month, and sometimes just once every 3 months.

Honestly, I've never really enjoyed my hair due to it's frizziness, but I remember the last time I wore my hair down was probably 3-4 years ago when it was bsl/mbl. I did like wearing my hair down. I'm not sure if I will wear my hair down ALL the time but I def. want it to be an option and due to its lack of "shape", it's not an option right now. I look like cousin it lol.
But I don't want it to be as short as mbl, I want LONG hair, I just don't know what to do with it!

[sourgrl]

Instead of layers, why not a deep U or V hemline? That would still give your hair some 'character' when you wear it down. I'm no where near your length but I do have the layers and all the things that have been mentioned above are the reasons I'm looking forward to being rid of them. But, I'm not keen on a blunt hemline either so my ultimate goal will be a a hemline with some shape. As you can see in my avatar, layers on my wavy hair still give the appearance of a blunt hemline.

I can appreciate the beauty of those with great lengths but I know it's not for me. Is it possible you feel the same way? I think the recommendation of holding off on cutting until you reach your goal is a good one since you're so close. But to be so unhappy this close is telling too. Wishing you lots of luck with your decision.

[Madora]

TheHowlingWolf, clarifying should be done as little as possible. Once a month is fine. It really strips your hair of all the buildup, leaving it feeling like hay. Do a conditioning treatment right after the clarifying.

Have you tried a few drops of mineral oil for the frizzies?

As for never being able to get rid of all the tangles..that boils down to detangling more thoroughly. Maybe the tines in your detangling comb are too wide apart, making it easy to miss those horrid little tangles that appear out of no where.

When detangling, for best results (personally speaking) do the detangling in SMALL, THIN strips. Taking the time to do it that way results in a more thorough detangling process. If you think you are still missing tangles, then try using a comb with tines that are a little closer together. As always, start from the ends of the strands and slowly work up to the scalp. Good luck!

[Madora]

Double post. Sorry!

[starfire]

If you like wearing braids and don't want taper, don't layer it.

I cut tons of layers (and thinned my hair) as my hair was growing out because otherwise it was wider than it was long (which I don't think is a good look on me). As my hair got longer, I stopped cutting altogether, but the taper in my braid is beyond ridiculous. Now, just layers without thinning won't produce as drastic of a taper, but I still would advise against it. It doesn't bother me too much since I only braid when I jog. I usually wear it down or in a bun. I will say that the taper makes it easier to tuck in the ends when doing buns.

[Chocowalnut]

I also like the idea of doing a v or u cut. It's a very pretty look and would give it some character but not so drastic a change that would take forever to fix like cutting a foot off your hair. Your hair is very pretty!

[TheHowlingWolf]

I found a picture of what my curl pattern looked like when I had layers....This was still towards the beginning of my "long hair journey" when I dyed my hair & washed with sulfates, I just didn't use any heat. I really miss that curl/wave. Like I said before, it's been lost with length.
http://i60.tinypic.com/10nrmuu.jpg

I think I'll cut off around 3-5 inches, so I don't sit on my hair anymore, and I'll get face framing layers/bangs. I'll also try clarifying (does anyone have any recommendations for natural/organic clarifying shampoos?) If that doesn't work, then I'll either get a u shaped hemline or layers

I have tried mineral oil, but I found it dried out my hair. Right now I just use my fingers to detangle, but if my fingers get tired/I'm in a rush, then I use my tangle teezer. I've tried combs before (TBS wooden comb & Mason Pearson rake comb), but found it took a lot longer & didn't really help get any tangles out.

[Santi]

I love the EO Pure Performance clarifying shampoo. It does not leave my hair feeling stripped. I also clarify w/ the Morrocco Method Zen Detox clay mask every now & then. Btw, your hair looks beautiful in your sig.

[spidermom]

I use VO5 clarifying shampoo about every other month, whenever my hair is either tangly or limp and dull. I also have layers with a U hem, and I love it this way. I've also had it blunt cut, and I hated how that looked like a cape. Yes, bits pop out of braids, and my braid isn't as thick, but guess what - bits popped out of my braids when it was blunt cut, too, because of the shed and regrow cycle. Everybody has hairs of all different lengths; that's normal.

Don't feel you have to lock yourself into one hair decision and stick with it. There are advantages and disadvantages to every hair decision you make (within reason).

[TheHowlingWolf]

Yes! It feels/looks like a cape! & parts do stick out due to new growth.

I found this shampoo, I'm thinking about trying it (along with other products from this company)....Do you think a non sulfate shampoo can be good at clarifying?
http://www.justnaturalskincare.com/hair-products/shampoo-to-remove-buil-up-.html

[Marika]

Your hair is beautiful as it is but I think long layers could work too because your hair is so thick. With a slight V shape or a deep U, it would create that waterfall look especially with more wave/curl... But maybe it's better to start with something less drastic :)

I haven't tried these myself but I know many people like Aubrey Organics Swimmer's shampoo and Avalon Organics Lemon Clarifying shampoo.

[TheHowlingWolf]

Do you think if I tell the people at the salon that I want my hair in a "V" or "U" shape they'll know what I mean and know how to do it? Or are those terms mainly LHC terms? I'm not quite sure what I'd say if I decide to do that.

[KittyBird]

I have a U-hem and long layers, and I cut them myself. I use the method in this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamVwPGm3As). I'm happy with the results I get :)

[Tea Lady]

I had this dilemma recently. I had classic length hair, but I was dealing with a huge shed (now hopefully mostly resolved). My hair was long but it had thinned so badly, so the ends looked so very thin. Also, I felt that the long length was weighting the hair down (in spite of its thinness), making it look even thinner. Then, I had the tangle issue. It was awful and frustrating. I did find that lightly oiling the ends with jojoba oil helped, but I always seemed to overdo it, resulting it greasy ends.

I recently cut a few inches, which improved things. But earlier this week I decided to go even shorter, cutting back to somewhere between waist and tailbone. I am happy with this decision, although it was hard for me. "My hair feels so short!" (even though it certainly is not short). But I never worry about that because it grows back, seemingly relatively quickly.

I would also be careful with salons. You have to get someone who truly understands that you only want 1 or 2 inches. They can be scissor happy. I have my husband or daughter trim mine. I have sharp shears, only used for my hair, and have them cut it wet. Start with that small trim, if you end up deciding to go ahead with it. You can always do more later.

Tea Lady

[TheHowlingWolf]

So, I was trying to find a specific picture of what my hair looked like when I used to wear it down a lot and when I last felt comfortable wearing it down (I couldn't find it) & I found some pictures:
http://i59.tinypic.com/11llzzr.png
The pictures L-R: When my hair was a lot shorter and had layers, you can see how much more curly it is compared to pictures of my longer hair, but I don't want my hair to be that short. When my hair was longer and the layers were growing up, but still visible. My hair in a braid with layered hair.

[rusika1]

How often should I clarify? I've heard some people clarify once a week, once a month, and sometimes just once every 3 months.

Honestly, I've never really enjoyed my hair due to it's frizziness, but I remember the last time I wore my hair down was probably 3-4 years ago when it was bsl/mbl. I did like wearing my hair down. I'm not sure if I will wear my hair down ALL the time but I def. want it to be an option and due to its lack of "shape", it's not an option right now. I look like cousin it lol.
But I don't want it to be as short as mbl, I want LONG hair, I just don't know what to do with it!

Ah. Then you don't really want to cut it off, you want to learn how to do stuff with your hair. YouTube. Try TorrinPaige if you haven't seen any of her videos. She has light colored hair (easier to see what she's doing) and she describes what she's doing while she's doing it. She also leaves in at least a few of her glitches, so you know that even the 'experts' have problems with hairstyles sometimes. there are lots of other great videos by past or present LHC members, I just think Torrin is a good starting place. Plus her hair is about classic length and quite thick, so you'll see it can be done!

[Hootenanny]

If your only 1.5 inches away from you original goal, I would wait till you get there to decide. It isn't far away and you might regret it later if you cut shorter. If you still want to cut then, I would do like lapushka says, cut an inch or so at a time and see how you feel.

This. You are so close to your goal, why not make it and then cut back? You should be there by the end of the year at the latest. In my experience, it's a good idea to meet the goals you set for yourself, even if they are just little things like hair growth. It builds good habits and a strong character. :)

[spidermom]

I agree with Hootenanny that it's good practice to meet your goals. You only have a few months left and could experiment with styles like rusika1 suggested.

[Agnes Hannah]

My hair is now at 43 1/3" & my goal length was 45", which is a little past classic length on me. I love the look of classic/ftl hair. I like getting compliments on how long my hair is. But my hair is driving my crazy!!!!! & it's ugly! The weight of it makes it so that I have NO volume, it has no shape, the length/weight has stretched my natural wave/curl, and it's really prone to tangles. I was thinking about getting layers, but I like a nice, thick braid (my go to style), and I'm afraid if I get my hair layered, it will create an even more noticeable taper when I wear my hair in braids (I don't mind the layers sticking out because I like the messy look).

I'm just wondering if this is something all/most long haired people go through? It's long enough now that I sit on it, and it's more annoying than I thought it would be. I know wearing your hair down causes more daily damage, but I would still like it to be an option every once in a while, and right now, it's not.
When I shut my eyes and imagine myself with long hair, the fantasy looks a lot different than what it actually looks like when I look in the mirror. I try to do pretty braids and different styles, but I will brush my hair out/detangle before I start styling, and my hair still tangles so badly! I just give up right away. I know cones would make my hair less tangley, but my hair hates cones! They dry out and suffocate my hair.

So basically my question is, is there anything you suggest I do? Should I just cut it? I'm thinking of getting it cut back to hip or bcl. And I was thinking about getting layers too.....but my question to people with long hair & layers is, does it greatly affect your braid thickness? I want to get face framing layers but besides that, I'm not sure what I should tell the person who cuts my hair!
I just don't want to regret getting layers because I've gotten layers before (that were cut really badly) & growing them out is a pain, especially since I'm impatient.
I know I should be excited that I'm really close to my goal length, but tbh I'm just so overwhelmed by how much my hair annoys me, and underwhelmed by how it looks!

Ugly!! are you bonkers! your hair is gorgeous, I'd love long thick hair like that, I'm soooo Jealous!!
Seriously though, try trimming an inch or two at a time, don't do anything rash whilst you are so close to your goal. Those with short short hair have very limited styles that they can do, longer haired folk have far more options even if we sometimes forget that. A u shape would look good too on you, but with your hair I think anything would look good its so pretty. Good luck.

[Isilme]

If you get layers there's no saying that you can't have long layers. Yes, it will stick out but I don't think that makes a braid less pretty, if you think so you could just leave the tassel to be longer, maybe even curl it on low heat with a curling iron.
You have been unhappy with your hair for at least two weeks you say, get a cut. Hair grows back and if you just cut a little amount it doesn't take long to grow back if you want to do so.

[DreamSheep]

If you want more 'body', how about experimenting with rag curls (basically wrapping your hair up in "rollers" while damp), which will give your hair more shape without sacrificing length. :) You can also experiment with new buns or new hairtoys. :) It seems a shame to cut away as you are so close to your goal - and if you truly hate it then you can cut back to a length you are comfortable with. :)

[TheHowlingWolf]

Hi, I'm in a hurry and can only reply to one but as for the torrinpaige suggestion: Yes, I am subscribed to her and watch her videos religiously. I've tried many of her styles but as I said before, my hair tangles so badly as I am styling (DESPITE detangling before hand) that I just give up. So is clarifying the answer? I'm nervous about using cones as I previously stated they dry out and suffocate my hair, as does mineral oil. I like using all natural products, or at least products without most of the bad chemicals. I use my fingers/the tangle teezer to detangle. Tbh the tangles are half the reason I think/thought about cutting it & getting layers, because I remember when my hair was shorter/layered it wasn't THAT badly tangled all the time.

[Panth]

Clarify and chelate your hair to remove build-up.
Consider 'cones and other slip-enhancing products to help deal with the tangles (there are 'cones now that won't build-up if you're concerned about that - look for amino-'cones and PEG-'cones).
Have a good look at your routine to eliminate anything that may be enhancing tangles. Make sure there's plenty of tangle-preventing stuff. Don't go OTT, especially on oils and leave-ins.
If you've not trimmed for ages, consider a small trim to help remove tangly ends (if the above doesn't fix them).

As for layers/hemlines - both layers and a V-shaped hemline will effectively give you more taper. U-shaped hemlines will also do that, though not so badly unless it's an extreme U. IMO, I'd try to deal with the tangling issue as that's going to be annoying even at shorter lengths. Once that's dealt with, you may find you're happier with the length as you can do stuff with it. If after the tangling issue is dealt with you are still unhappy, then consider trimming. Trim in baby steps. I'd avoid layers (especially short / many layers), V-shaped hemlines or anything more than a slight U-shaped hemline.

[RapunzelKat]

Some advice from a fellow tangle-head: :rolling: I'd suggest clarifying and a small trim to start. (Maybe 2-3" since that sounds like it might get you hair where you're not sitting on it and might be easier for you.) A good trim can work wonders for tangly-ness in my experience. Them you might be able to try some fancier styles and see if that helps you enjoy your hair more. Also, make sure that when you're sectioning your hair for braids or updos, you fully separate each section before putting it into the braid or the style. Run your hands down your hair, like a rake. Don't pull the strands apart.

If you're still not enjoying it after that, probably time for a larger cut. :) Hope you find something that works! :flower:

[TheHowlingWolf]

Thank you for such kind compliments, Agnes Hannah!!! Though, the reason I think it's ugly is because it's frizzy & when my hair is shorter, it's curlier, so the newer, curlier, growth looks weird against my straighter length. I just wish my hair was smoother.

My routine right now is:
Pre wash oil with coconut oil mixed with a few drops of argan oil. Wash with JMO Scalp Stimulating shampoo and condition with JMO Lavender & Avocado conditioner...Though, I am open to suggestions on new products to try, preferably on the more natural side from companies that don't test on animals.

I think I will go ahead with a trim, I know I'm close to my goal but my ends needed a trim anyway, & I'd rather wait 4 more months to get to my goal with a thicker, healthier, less tangled hemline than get to it sooner with it being tangled and me being annoyed. I think I will get face framing layers as I think I look much better with them, but I'm still not sure about my length, I think I'll just trim for now and try to deal with the tangles by finding the right routine/products....

....I was thinking about going back to co washing, do you think that would prevent or cause tangles?

[lapushka]

....I was thinking about going back to co washing, do you think that would prevent or cause tangles?

You might try putting more moisture (conditioning) into your hair. Try WCC. The link is in my signature. Better try than lose the length for nothing, you know. ;)

[TheHowlingWolf]

I've tried WCC and liked it but found using just my current conditioner worked just as well & I didn't want to spend extra money on more conditioner when I didn't feel I needed to.

Is there any way/technique to get thinner layers? So you still get some shape but it wouldn't be that much of a drastic change to the hemline?

[Eastbound&Down]

I'm not sure how you do you're routine, but have you considered a slight perm to bring some life back into your natrual curl? It's chemicals I know but if it's done correctly there won't be much damage and deep conditioning can help with any that does occur. Just throwing it out as an option.

[TheHowlingWolf]

Well I'd rather just use a gel or a styling aid to get some more curl. I heard perms are really damaging.
I was thinking about trying a variation of the curly girl method (which is why I was thinking about co washing again)

[Eastbound&Down]

I've permed before and had a good turn out, but to each their own, like I said just throwing it out there :) I do CO wash and I love it. I think your hair is very pretty btw!

[lapushka]

Is there any way/technique to get thinner layers? So you still get some shape but it wouldn't be that much of a drastic change to the hemline?

Both self-trimming compact cuts give some sort of V-shape, at least the one for shortest layers does give a pretty hefty V. I'm thinking you'll have to go to a hairdresser for anything else!

[TheHowlingWolf]

Yeah, I do plan on going to a hairdresser & not self cutting. I do have a pair of scissors I use for s&d but I wouldn't feel confident cutting my hair by myself & with those scissors.

[PinkyCat]

Is there any way/technique to get thinner layers? So you still get some shape but it wouldn't be that much of a drastic change to the hemline?

Yes - just get the hair from just behind the ears forward layered. Leave the back one length.

[spidermom]

One method for long layers is to make a ponytail on the very top of your head in the center, then put a second ponytail tie on it and slide the 2nd one toward the ends. Cut the very ends. Start with maybe 1 inch. That will give very subtle layering to the ends. If you want more layering, move the ponytail closer to the forehead.