Anxiety about wedding hair

[Zesty]

So, LHC, indulge me for a bit and let me talk about my wedding. Specifically, my hairstyle for the wedding.

I was thinking of a low side updo with semi structured curls and a swoopy bit in the front. Like a marriage (ha) of these two pictures (but without the loose bits):

http://cdn.modwedding.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Wedding-Hairstyles-5-062113.jpg

http://fabchicweddings.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/tumblr_lnob45vjih1qgtckqo1_500.jpg?w=640

Hopefully my hair will be long enough by then; if not, adjustments can be made as necessary.

The bigger issue is that I am an anxious person who also happens to have resolved to do as little damage to her hair as possible. I've sort of reserved a hair stylist who's affiliated with the salon my mom goes to, and I trust that she'll do a good job. But the wedding is in March, and I'm ALREADY worried about the damaging things that will have to be done to my hair to get this look. I really don't want to have a huge setback because of this hairstyle, you know? I assume it will mean a curling iron, which is the main thing I'm scared of.

Should I just bite the bullet and let the stylist do her job the way she normally would, since it's just one (very important) day? Am I overestimating the amount of damage that will be done? Should I discuss my concerns with the stylist and see if we can meet halfway? Or should I just forego a stylist altogether and wear my hair down? Any advice or reassurance would be greatly appreciated.

(Also know that I'm kicking myself for having cut my hair just in time to NOT have gorgeous long hair for my wedding... I'm super sad.)

{For those of you who care, my dress and veil: http://www.morilee.com/images/Picture/67491/bg_67491-200.jpg, https://www.etsy.com/listing/188418484/bridal-drop-veil-simple-veil-bridal

[amanda_the_tall]

That all looks beautiful!! I wouldn't worry about the damage. It's one day, if you think about it and don't heat style the rest of the time (I'm guessing), that's one day out of a year. That's .00273 of a year. That's not even close to 1%. I think if you do a deep conditioning after (and maybe before) you won't even notice a difference. I think that hairstyle will look lovely with your veil and dress, I'm happy for you getting married and don't forget the day is about you and your love and that's all that matters! :) also you could talk about doing a non-heat variation, maybe by doing the foam curlers with some kind of gel on damp hair? You could always try it at home to see how your hair holds the curl and what size you want them...

[Sparklylady82]

I think hairstyle is beautiful along with your dress and veil! It sounds like you really want this hairstyle so GO FOR IT! If you really don't want to heat style you could try setting it in rollers (waaay before the wedding to practice) and have the stylist use those curls. She may need to just touch up a few pieces here and there. Ultimately it's only one day so...

[gnome82]

You will look stunning, it is your wedding day do what you want with it!!!!!

[Phexlyn]

Beautiful choices, I'm sure you will look fantastic! :)

How important is having undamaged hair for you? And how important is having a perfect wedding hairstyle? Your hairstyle is going to be on all the pictures, and will be remembered for a very long time. Will you think of possible damage as much as of having compromised your initial choice? Or will you dislike your hairstyle in the future if it caused damage?

If your hair ist healthy overall, I don't think that one day can do much damage, especially since you don't have very long hair yet. I hope you'll have a wonderful wedding day :)

[embee]

This dress and veil look lovely. :) The hairstyle is a good fit too. I would guess there will be a lot of hair-spray. The one word of caution I've heard with hair-spray is to rinse it all out before trying to comb anything.

It's one day. The day of pictures. You'll be lovely. :)

[Johannah]

If you want it, go for it! The hairstyle is really pretty and I just fell in love with that dress. You'll look stunning!! (and don't forget to share a picture from your hair as well)!

[sarahthegemini]

You could try to learn some heat-less curling techniques or you could just say "screw it, it's ONE day" Besides, damage can be grown out. But being unhappy with your wedding look...

[pastina]

they might be able to form curls for you and then pin them into place without heat... for my wedding, my girls and i all had vintage updo's, and that's how it was done. it required lots of hairspray, but most wedding styles do!

i would advise against just wearing your hair down. personally, i like that my wedding-hair was a style i couldn't do myself on any random day, kwim? that makes it more special, imho!

[Zesty]

Thank you to everyone who responded, it means a lot and makes me feel better. I will ask if she can go easy on the heat, but I won't worry too much about it otherwise. :)

[Kitti]

I love your gown and veil, just beautiful! I think the hairstyle you chose will be perfect. Btw, congratulations!

[lilin]

I say go for it! It's very pretty and I'm sure you'll look great. :)

You can talk to her about using the lowest viable heat setting, or if it would be possible for her to use curls you set the night before using a heatless method. It will require spray, but you can avoid damage by doing a bit of extra moisturizing/sealing the night before to minimize dryness, and when you're ready to undo it, taking the pins out and hop right in the shower -- no manipulation before you jump in. The main risk with hairspray is trying to manipulate the hair while it's stiff.

Unless you know otherwise about your hair, I really wouldn't expect you to have any long-term issue at all as long as she's gentle, even if you decide to go with a bit of heat. Don't worry too much. :)