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FallingDarkness
July 27th, 2014, 06:31 PM
Which means my mom gets to pick what shampoo and conditioner we bring. I just KNOW she's gonna bring a coney conditioner, which my hair now HATES after I went cone-free. :( I also know that I won't be able to oil my hair EVER, and IDK what I'm going to do. I can only stretch my washes for 6 days at most so I have no hope to just not wash my hair for the entire time. HELP.

Sarahlabyrinth
July 27th, 2014, 06:38 PM
Why don't you buy some shampoo and conditioner that you like, and just use that while you are away? Would your mom complain? If for whatever reason you can't do that, then just use what she brings, your hair will survive a week of it - I promise :) 8 days out of your life? Don't panic.

two_wheels
July 27th, 2014, 06:39 PM
If you can stretch 6 days dry, you might just about be able to do 8 days water only.
You could dilute the shampoo.
Or you could just sigh and go with the cones, put it up, and clarify when back.

Madora
July 27th, 2014, 06:41 PM
Why don't you be proactive and just put your favorite shampoo and favorite conditioner in plastic travel bottles and show your mom that that part of your travel needs is all prepped and ready for use?

Why won't you be able to oil your hair, ever? Can't you just put a small amount in another container and bring it with you?

To help with stretching washes, try and wear a white cotton scarf or straw hat over your hair.

FallingDarkness
July 27th, 2014, 06:48 PM
You know I probably COULD go water only.

My mom likes to travel light, so anything extra that I brought on my part (ie my own conditioner or coconut oil) would upset her.

two_wheels
July 27th, 2014, 06:50 PM
You could hide the coconut oil in a lip balm pot ;)

Maktub
July 27th, 2014, 06:54 PM
You would only need a small amount for a single wash. Don't bring a whole bottle, but only travel kit sizes (a few tablespoons should be enough at most). WO and/or protective style for the last days are good ideas too.
Will you be swimming ?

Depending on your hair, you could also scalp-wash only with the diluted shampoo (less product).

lilin
July 27th, 2014, 06:56 PM
I imagine, if you could stretch to almost a week, and thus only need to wash your hair once for the trip, she wouldn't notice you slipping a tiny bottle in your toiletry bag. You only need enough for one wash, and not much more than a few drops of oil, right?

FallingDarkness
July 27th, 2014, 07:01 PM
Well it's true - I wouldn't need a lot of oil.
Nor would I need a lot of shampoo.
I need TONS of conditioner tho, especially because I CWC. Thinking about trying to switch to CO sometime soon tho. :P

Quasiquixotic
July 27th, 2014, 07:04 PM
Do you get your own bag? Can you pack what you want in it? Your mom seems awfully controlling.

Chromis
July 27th, 2014, 07:07 PM
I'd just stretch the extra days. I like to travel light myself, so this is exactly what I would do if it were me :)

You can just wet your hair if you think not washing it would cause further strife since then it wouldn't be as obvious as always coming out with your hair still dry.

Inkspot
July 27th, 2014, 07:08 PM
Do you think it would be possible to use a bit more coconut oil at the end of your wash in order to counterbalance your lack of conditioner? For just one wash, skipping the first conditioner step of a CWC would not do too much damage, and if it would mean bringing your own shampoo and conditioner, you might feel better about the trip.

Maktub
July 27th, 2014, 07:08 PM
If you CWC and want to try CO, you could just do one CO wash and bring only that.

RavennaNight
July 27th, 2014, 07:12 PM
How awesome you're going away for a vacation! :cheer: Have a good time. As for the hair, don't worry so much. It's 8 days. Treasure the time away ;)

FallingDarkness
July 27th, 2014, 07:13 PM
My mom IS controlling ugh.

I'm not going to CO with coney conditioner tho, and because the way my family vacations are set up are that we bring one shampoo and one conditioner for EVERYBODY I would be throwing off that game plan. And I'm the only one who uses a cone free conditioner.

I think it'd just be best to do maybe a water only somewhere near the end of my vacation. :) Or to cross my fingers and to try to stretch my wash the entire time.

Maktub
July 27th, 2014, 07:17 PM
I think it'd just be best to do maybe a water only somewhere near the end of my vacation. :) Or to cross my fingers and to try to stretch my wash the entire time.

I think that would be perfectly fine ! Enjoy your vacation !

Quasiquixotic
July 27th, 2014, 07:22 PM
Sneak a 4 3 oz travel bottle in your bag. 3 of conditioner 1 of shampoo. Take them in your pocket into the shower and take them out of the bath with you.

Hide them the rest of the time.

And remember you are almost of age.

RavennaNight
July 27th, 2014, 07:23 PM
Doing a scalp massage every few days will help distribute the natural oils so your hair won't look flat/oily. Sorry to hear there is that much control involved in something like what conditioner goes on the trip.

Isilme
July 27th, 2014, 07:35 PM
A couple of tiny bottles won't cause any difference to baggage weight and you can have them in your carry on luggage. Gosh, it's just hair products! No one needs to know, and as another poster said you're almost 18 and hair products cause problems? I took a small library with me on vacation when I was 15. If someone discovers your bottles just tell a white lie that their products cause itchiness or a flaky scalp, who wants to force someone to go around with a flaking scalp?

mz_butterfly
July 27th, 2014, 07:45 PM
double post

mz_butterfly
July 27th, 2014, 07:45 PM
It seems that you have some serious issues with your mother. One, she is very controlling and two, you can't seem to find the gumption to stand up to her or even make your own decisions.

I would simply do as other suggested, take some very small bottles of your own shampoo, conditioner and oil in your own bag. Make sure it's in a ziplock baggie and then wrap it in a plastic bag or paper sack to keep it hidden from view and to prevent it from spilling.

If you can't find the courage to take your own hygiene supplies, in your own bag, and carry them with you when you shower (think feminine hygiene, what would you do then? Does mom control that too?) and don't say anything to anyone about it. You need to be able to care for yourself and not worry about what anyone else wants you to do. This is your body, no one can force you to use their supplies and cannot prevent you from "smuggling" your own containers in your own bag.

The longer you cower at the thought of your mothers disapproval, over haircuts, shampoo, conditioner, or anything else, the longer you are going to be under her control. If you don't stand up (even silently by smuggling your own supplies) you are never going to be able to stand on your own two feet and she will always have you under her thumb.

Package it up, put it in your bag (hidden) use it in the shower and be done with it. :) You will feel much better and less stressed by just doing what you want to do (to a certain extent) and not being confrontational. Instead of worrying about how your mothers reactions or demands might be, just plan ahead and take your own items without telling her. This is really a non issue. You don't need to ask her permission to take or use your own hygiene supplies.

cathair
July 27th, 2014, 07:59 PM
I don't really understand why you Mum would mind you taking your own shampoo and conditioner if she knows that's what you normally use at home. So long as you are happy to carry it and not asking her to, I don't understand why it would be a problem when traveling light either.

I would do as others have said, just take small bottles or tubs of it. And make sure they are in a plastic bag in case the leak, I wouldn't want to give her anything else to complain about!

FoxyGhost
July 27th, 2014, 08:12 PM
A couple of tiny bottles won't cause any difference to baggage weight and you can have them in your carry on luggage. Gosh, it's just hair products! No one needs to know, and as another poster said you're almost 18 and hair products cause problems? I took a small library with me on vacation when I was 15. If someone discovers your bottles just tell a white lie that their products cause itchiness or a flaky scalp, who wants to force someone to go around with a flaking scalp?

I second this. I just tell my mom that her conditioner breaks out my back (Many do so it's not really a lie)

LongHairLesbian
July 27th, 2014, 11:20 PM
Carrying travel sized containers of your own products in your own bag shouldn't create a fuss. Don't even tell your mother that you are bringing your own supplies; unless she follows you into the shower while you bathe, she probably won't even notice. And if she ends up freaking out over you bringing your own products in a way that doesn't inconvenience her in the slightest, consider this a lesson in dealing with highly difficult people. Some people feel that everything needs to be their way. Use this as an opportunity to hone your skills in dealing with this type of person, because there are plenty of them in the world. Learn how to say "that's nice" and then do your own thing.

Hibernis
July 27th, 2014, 11:41 PM
Carrying travel sized containers of your own products in your own bag shouldn't create a fuss. Don't even tell your mother that you are bringing your own supplies; unless she follows you into the shower while you bathe, she probably won't even notice. And if she ends up freaking out over you bringing your own products in a way that doesn't inconvenience her in the slightest, consider this a lesson in dealing with highly difficult people. Some people feel that everything needs to be their way. Use this as an opportunity to hone your skills in dealing with this type of person, because there are plenty of them in the world. Learn how to say "that's nice" and then do your own thing.

I completely agree with this. You have pockets, right? A bra? A purse? Someone really needs to invent hair toys that store shampoo and conditioner in them.

This is creative problem solving. Decide you're going to bring your own stuff, and figure out a way to make it happen. This will not be the last time you will have to travel light.

letsgococo
July 28th, 2014, 12:01 AM
I would say to stretch the extra days, because you're on vacation and can always just bun it or WO if you need to. Have fun!

Marika
July 28th, 2014, 12:33 AM
I would take my favourite products with me and carry them myself. Your mother needs to relax and learn you're not a kid anymore. Have a great vacation! :cool:

FallingDarkness
July 28th, 2014, 01:05 AM
Okay, I'll go find some travel sized stuff (idk if even my fave conditioner carries travel-sized so I might just need tiny empty bottles) and smuggle it onto the airplane.
But yeah. My mom is a control freak at times. :/

FireFromWithin
July 28th, 2014, 01:05 AM
If you have your own bag, as long as it's the correct size and weight I don't see why your mum has to worry about what's in it. My mum only worries about things like that on family holidays when there's things that the family needs that get split between everyone's bags (we do lots of water sports and those supplies are heavy). If your mum has to do all the packing and control everything you all take that doesn't sound healthy and you'll get a big shock when you move away from her and have to do things for yourself.

WilfredAllen
July 28th, 2014, 03:11 AM
I agree with previous posters that you should just pack your own stuff. you're mom is being very irrational. I had a controlling mom and it was really rough.

also, if you only need to do one wash can you just put your shampoo/condition/oil in ziplocks (double bag them to be safe for spills obviously) do check to make sure that the liquids you pack and which luggage you carry them in complies with the rules

LumiereBlossom
July 28th, 2014, 03:49 AM
I just have one small question. Did you ask your mother if you could bring your own S&C in your own bag and she said no or are you just assuming she'll say no?

Merlin
July 28th, 2014, 04:47 AM
You're 17. so I assume your ma isn't doing your packing for you? My view is that if you want to take it and you're prepared to put it in your luggage rather than in her's then I don't see why you shouldn't do it; she's not going to decide on all your packing choices for you ("sorry dear, you're just not taking those socks or those knickers with you..") so I don't see she'll care about what shampoo you take so long as you're not expecting her to carry it!

Chromis
July 28th, 2014, 06:55 AM
They have still been requiring people to pull out their 3-1-1 (liquids) bag on all the North American flights I have been on recently. Has this been lifted elsewhere?

I would not recommend trying to sneak things past the x-ray machine. Sure, they might not notice, but it's going to be a much worse scene if they do!

Just stretch the washes, it's only two extra days, not worth the bother and fuss and potential for stuff leaking.

Cania
July 28th, 2014, 06:58 AM
I just have one small question. Did you ask your mother if you could bring your own S&C in your own bag and she said no or are you just assuming she'll say no?

I'm wondering this too. You said you 'just know' she will bring something coney, could you not ask her to take yours for everyone to share?


I would not recommend trying to sneak things past the x-ray machine. Sure, they might not notice, but it's going to be a much worse scene if they do!

This, too.

If you really can't get the product you need, why not just use dry shampoo?

Rosetta
July 28th, 2014, 08:59 AM
My heartfelt sympathies on the controlling mum thing - I know what it's like, I have one too, and though I'm way older than you, she still tries to control my life. (Obviously I still do what I want, always, but I just hate all the flak I have to take from her because of that.)


This is creative problem solving. Decide you're going to bring your own stuff, and figure out a way to make it happen. This will not be the last time you will have to travel light.
Seconding this! (Many have suggested stretching, but I know not being able to wash my hair would totally ruin a holiday for me, though I also know not everyone's the same ;))


You have pockets, right? A bra? A purse? Someone really needs to invent hair toys that store shampoo and conditioner in them.
Now that'd be great! :lol:

browneyedsusan
July 28th, 2014, 09:46 AM
As a mom to a DS (19) and DD (17), just relax and enjoy the vacation. Try to pack your own travel-sized products. (If you're flying, google the requirements for the airline.) At the very worst, you'll use mom's products and chase it with a clarify and conditioning treatment when you get home. Mom may be trying to mother you while she still can, and her heart might be sad. Mine is sometimes.

Try really hard to have a good attitude and let Mom show you a good time. Show her a good time, if you can. Your hair will be fine. It's resilient stuff. :blossom:

NativeSparrow
July 28th, 2014, 12:03 PM
Looking at your hair I bet you could do 8 days of Conditioner only. & as far as the Coney Conditioner ... I dont like using it at all & would never buy it for myself. But in a pinch I will use it, using cones is better forf me than water only. Esspecially if you are swimming in saltwater or pools. I would never be able to brush mine without some kind of conditioner & for me water only would cause more harm through breakage & dryness than coney conditioners!! However, it seems like it would be fine if you take your own bottle of your own conditioner & just leave it in your bag, & take it from the bathroom when you leave. I bet it wouldnt raise any alarms for you to take your bag into the bathroom with you. I mean I usually do that when I am on a trip. That way I can shower & get dressed in the bathroom without having to walk around in my towel.

BUT if none of these suggestions will fly with your super controling Mom then just use the Coney conditioner & then clarify when you return home. & if you get greasy then your mom sounds like the kind of lady that would fuss about that & "make" you wash with whatever sulfate shampoo they use, & you sond like you dont want that to happen.

In the end its not going to cause any real harm (except the water only would likely cause damage for me in a week). & it is only 8 days. Sneak your own Conditioner or just go with the flow & co w theirs. I hope that you fighure something out & I hope that you have a blast!!!!

Gertrude
July 28th, 2014, 12:17 PM
You could bring your own tiny bottles in your hand luggage, and show them to security, but you know your Mom best and if it starts a big argument and scene if you do that and she finds out, you could just use the sulphate&cones duo and then clarify when you come back. A bit of pampering and your hair will shake off the other products.

spidermom
July 28th, 2014, 01:04 PM
Didn't read all the replies - sorry for any repeat.

8 days won't make or break your hair. We only took Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap on a camping trip years ago, and my hair hated it. HATED IT! It made my texture so nasty! So I went without washing the rest of the camping trip, and my hair actually looked far better drying with murky lake water or ocean water in it. I rinsed with clear water at the end of each day.

FallingDarkness
July 28th, 2014, 01:23 PM
I did actually ask my mom if I could take my own shampoo and conditioner.
She said that it'd be pointless because she was bringing enough for all of us, and I said that my hair didn't like that type of conditioner, that it was damaging, etc, and she just couldn't understand where I was coming from.
Even if I pack my own clothes and toiletries and stuff she still goes over everything to make sure that we aren't forgetting anything and that we aren't over packing.
Bringing extra conditioner and shampoo would fall under the over packing category. :/ So I can almost see her logic.

kpzra
July 28th, 2014, 01:35 PM
I would still try to pack travel size bottles, they weigh almost nothing and take up very little room. If she takes them out I'd suck it up, one wash with something else generally won't ruin your hair, you just need to go back to your routine ASAP. I'd not worry and just enjoy vacation, it's not worth stressing about in the long run.

Isilme
July 28th, 2014, 02:56 PM
She goes trough your luggage before you leave home? Honey, that's not right at seventeen, seven, yes. Either stretch washes or find a way to bring your own products. You could even add them after she has checked your luggage.
Make a list to be sure you have everything necessary and don't give her a reason to rummage around in your bag, if you forget something, well, consider it a lesson unless it is something you absolutely need and don't let anyone know.

spidermom
July 28th, 2014, 03:09 PM
Using what she brings is not going to ruin your hair; I promise. Except in the case of severe allergy, this truly isn't worth worrying about.

Cania
July 28th, 2014, 03:28 PM
I was under the impression that cones weren't damaging, they just make hair look artificially healthy so aren't conducive to assessing true hair health. Have I been mistaken all this time, can someone fill me in? I thought lots of longhairs swore by it, I used them constantly up to waist... I still use them to get henna and oil out :confused:

You could still use dry shampoo for two days if you're that worried about cones, just pack some talc.

ETA: DBF just suggested, can you buy any while you're there?

Panth
July 28th, 2014, 03:43 PM
I agree you need to stand up to your mother (or, better, talk to her in a reasoned, sensible, non-confrontational manner about giving you a bit more space and freedom at least for little things). However, holidays can be stressful enough as it is and you don't really want to be cooped up with upset family for 8 days solid. It's about picking your battles and also the timing of them.

If you're flying, you're almost certainly going to have to present your liquids (incl. all toiletries) when you go through into the departures area. If you've hidden stuff in your hand luggage, you're going to come to grief there one way or another - either by presenting them, and your mother finding out ... or by not presenting them, them turning up on the X-ray machine, the customs officials digging them out of your bag and then your mother finding out.

One wash with cones is not going to irrevocably ruin your hair. If you're really concerned, stretch washes and do WO (or shampoo-only) for one wash. I personally can do a shampoo-only wash occasionally as enough stuff from the conditioner of the last wash stays in.

lapushka
July 28th, 2014, 03:50 PM
I agree with the others, you really are going to need to learn to say no, and stand up to your mother.

For the rest, it's just 8 days, her shampoo and conditioner is not going to kill your hair. There's bigger battles to fight over. I say pick your battles, this isn't one of them.

spidermom
July 28th, 2014, 04:06 PM
Cania, I think cones used continually without ever clarifying could be damaging, as in preventing moisture and essential fatty acids from conditioning the hair. One or two washes with a sulfate-containing shampoo, and hair is good to go again.

Cania
July 28th, 2014, 04:12 PM
Cania, I think cones used continually without ever clarifying could be damaging, as in preventing moisture and essential fatty acids from conditioning the hair. One or two washes with a sulfate-containing shampoo, and hair is good to go again.

Oh, that makes sense. I used to clarify so I guess that's why it was okay for me personally. Thanks for getting me up to speed!

Inkspot
July 28th, 2014, 04:58 PM
It's about picking your battles and also the timing of them.

Indeed, this can become something akin to an art form when done correctly. It is not only a useful skill to master, but in many cases, a necessary one. A persons maturity (not age, mind, but maturity; there are many older adults who lack this unfortunately) can often be gauged on how well such a skill is developed.

embee
July 28th, 2014, 10:30 PM
I'd just do either WO or a one-shot of very very diluted shampoo - when I do that I don't need conditioner at all. Really, this is not going to ruin your hair. I think you may be making too much of a big thing of it. Just let it go. Pick your battles, this isn't worth it. :)

FallingDarkness
July 28th, 2014, 10:58 PM
I know that it seems stupid that she'd go through our luggage but the thing is that with the 6 people in our family we try to pack only 3 bags. So I'm sharing a suitcase with someone else.

RoseofCimarron
July 28th, 2014, 11:01 PM
I would say to pick the smallest travel-size bottles you can, put them all in a small zip-lock baggie with your other toiletries, and hope for the best. Try to make them as unnoticeable and unobtrusive as possible. If your mother says bringing them is totally out of the question, can you braid? French or Dutch pigtail braids (or possibly cornrows) hide oil really well. They are my go-to for my otter-in-an-oil-slick days, and they look pretty cute too! If you are going to a tropical area (on a cruise or anywhere on an island) there might be people who you can pay to get your hair professionally (if you go with cornrows, I can't stress that word enough!) braided and it will keep washing to a minimum. Good luck with your mother, and I hope you enjoy your trip. :blossom:

noludoru
July 28th, 2014, 11:45 PM
It seems that you have some serious issues with your mother. One, she is very controlling and two, you can't seem to find the gumption to stand up to her or even make your own decisions.

I would simply do as other suggested, take some very small bottles of your own shampoo, conditioner and oil in your own bag. Make sure it's in a ziplock baggie and then wrap it in a plastic bag or paper sack to keep it hidden from view and to prevent it from spilling.

If you can't find the courage to take your own hygiene supplies, in your own bag, and carry them with you when you shower (think feminine hygiene, what would you do then? Does mom control that too?) and don't say anything to anyone about it. You need to be able to care for yourself and not worry about what anyone else wants you to do. This is your body, no one can force you to use their supplies and cannot prevent you from "smuggling" your own containers in your own bag.

The longer you cower at the thought of your mothers disapproval, over haircuts, shampoo, conditioner, or anything else, the longer you are going to be under her control. If you don't stand up (even silently by smuggling your own supplies) you are never going to be able to stand on your own two feet and she will always have you under her thumb.

Package it up, put it in your bag (hidden) use it in the shower and be done with it. :) You will feel much better and less stressed by just doing what you want to do (to a certain extent) and not being confrontational. Instead of worrying about how your mothers reactions or demands might be, just plan ahead and take your own items without telling her. This is really a non issue. You don't need to ask her permission to take or use your own hygiene supplies.

THANK YOU, finally, for gently and kindly pointing all of this out. I've been wanting to, but I'm a bit more on the blunt/harsh end of the spectrum.

To the OP: STAND UP TO YOUR MOTHER. You have the power to do so within you. You CAN do it. Tell her no to the hair cut and bring your own supplies without mentioning it. You don't need to be antagonistic or rude, but you do need to be firm. When you have to tell her no to something, it's okay to repeat yourself. Just do it.

JustPam
July 29th, 2014, 03:58 AM
This really is not something worth this much conflict. If your mum only wants to take one set of toiletries for practicality then that's totally reasonable, especially since airport security check all that kind of stuff, if they find something in blank bottles that you have kept a secret from everyone else that might look suspicious to them and cause you all ACTUAL problems. Just go and enjoy your holiday, wash your hair with the conventional stuff if you need to, it won't fall out, then carry on with your normal routine when you get back. Undermining your parents doesn't do anyone any favours.

Carolyn
July 29th, 2014, 06:25 AM
I know that it seems stupid that she'd go through our luggage but the thing is that with the 6 people in our family we try to pack only 3 bags. So I'm sharing a suitcase with someone else.
Won't you be carrying your own personal bag on the flight? Something like a purse or messenger bag? Couldn't you put your little baggie of small bottles in that bag? I think you said you are doing CWC. If I were you I would use the shampoo your mom brings along and bring my own conditioner in the little 3 oz. bottles along with a tiny container of oil.