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View Full Version : My mother just told me the last SIX inches of my hair are too thin, should be cut!



Larki
July 18th, 2014, 11:05 PM
I just had my hair trimmed by my mom. She only took off half an inch, like I asked, but she told me that the bottom six inches are too thin and that really, she should have cut all six inches!! :( I mean, I wasn't kind to my hair until about six months ago (brushed from root to tip, nearly always wore it down, flat-ironed a few times a year), but seriously, a whole SIX inches?!! I don't know. I knew my ends were a little raggedy, which is why I wanted a trim, but I didn't think there was anything wrong with the rest...I'm confused.

Purple shirt is before the trim, red shirt is after the trim.

http://i60.tinypic.com/2yobzas.jpg http://i59.tinypic.com/20pamhc.jpg

winship2
July 18th, 2014, 11:28 PM
I think you can safely but respectfully ignore her opinion :)

Becs
July 18th, 2014, 11:29 PM
Larki, I honestly think your hair looks lovely and your hemline is fine. I don't think it looks thin at all. I would not worry if it were me :)

GetMeToWaist
July 18th, 2014, 11:29 PM
Your ends look lovely to me, a normal blunt cut, no thinness

woodswanderer
July 18th, 2014, 11:31 PM
It looks fine to me. Moms always have some opinion that is a little off.

KittyBird
July 18th, 2014, 11:33 PM
There's nothing wrong with your ends, they look fine to me. I certainly don't think 6" need to be taken off! Maybe you could try Feye's self trim method next time? You won't have to worry about anyone cutting off too much hair then :)

Larki
July 18th, 2014, 11:37 PM
Thank you everyone, very reassuring! I was getting worried, like is there something that I'm not seeing? I guess it's just an over-critical mom thing. :p


There's nothing wrong with your ends, they look fine to me. I certainly don't think 6" need to be taken off! Maybe you could try Feye's self trim method next time? You won't have to worry about anyone cutting off too much hair then :)
See, I tried Feye's self trim once, in February right after joining. I wanted to take off an inch and ended up having to take off like 2 1/2 inches, because one side ended up 2 inches shorter than the other! It was awful. And my mom did follow my directions, she just criticized my hair while she did it. :p It did make me nervous that she would take off more than I asked, but she didn't. She did exactly what I wanted, 1/2 an inch off.

Henna Girl
July 19th, 2014, 12:23 AM
Larki, I honestly see nothing wrong with your ends. You can safely ignore your mother's comments.

Sparklylady82
July 19th, 2014, 01:50 AM
I agree with everyonge here...your hair looks gorgeous! What matters is that YOU are happy with it. :)

Siowiel
July 19th, 2014, 02:21 AM
And even if they WERE thin, which, judging from the pictures, they aren't, so what? Who says ends have to be thick and blunt, and everything else is ugly and unacceptable? Fairies everywhere disagree!
There's no accounting for taste, it is your hair. Don't give a damn what other people think.

Dreams_in_Pink
July 19th, 2014, 03:08 AM
LOL i hope your mom never sees my ends :D Yours don't even show any tapering IMO.

ETA: By the way, it's brave of you to let your mom cut your hair. She could've taken off those 6 inches without you knowing!

SkyChild
July 19th, 2014, 03:24 AM
I think you hair is beautiful and you have a lovely hemline.
Ignore your mother - sometimes they just need to pass comment. (This is why I cut my hair myself!)

JCM
July 19th, 2014, 03:30 AM
Did she cut your hair while it was behind your back or did she place some of it in front of both of your shoulders so she could cut it evenly on all sides?

Johannah
July 19th, 2014, 06:46 AM
I think you can safely but respectfully ignore her opinion :)

Exactly. Your ends are fine. Don't worry! :o

lapushka
July 19th, 2014, 07:28 AM
I didn't even think you needed a trim, to tell you the truth! :shrug:

SnowbirdRose
July 19th, 2014, 09:36 AM
Larki, I think your hair is lovely and doesn't need a trim at all.

MsBubbles
July 19th, 2014, 09:50 AM
And even if they WERE thin, which, judging from the pictures, they aren't, so what? Who says ends have to be thick and blunt, and everything else is ugly and unacceptable? .

Well said! It's all just a matter of personal preference. Thin hair (ends or otherwise) doesn't equal unhealthy.

Larki
July 19th, 2014, 10:31 AM
Thank you, everyone! She was really insistent about that six inches being thin, it's good to know she's the only one who thinks so.

Did she cut your hair while it was behind your back or did she place some of it in front of both of your shoulders so she could cut it evenly on all sides?
While it was behind my back. She's always done it that way. Is cutting it in front of the shoulders better?

I agree with everyonge here...your hair looks gorgeous! What matters is that YOU are happy with it. :)
Thank you! I am happy with it. :)

LOL i hope your mom never sees my ends :D Yours don't even show any tapering IMO.

ETA: By the way, it's brave of you to let your mom cut your hair. She could've taken off those 6 inches without you knowing!
Haha there's lots of tapering, my braids show it. But thank you!

MINAKO
July 19th, 2014, 11:01 AM
I like your hair and to me the hemline looks absolutely fine, so i sure wouldn't cut more.
Just honestly, i can see where your mom might be coming from, in a way that would be influence by shampoo commercial (cgi sort of) hair.
Those hemlines are most of the time at maximun thickness, with absolutely zero taper, which is where you would be if you'd cut those six inches.
But like this it gives far more of a nattural look and seems absolutely healthy. Tell her you dont want to live in a pantene commercial and thats it.

spidermom
July 19th, 2014, 11:31 AM
Here is a way to cut your own hair without it coming out uneven.
Part down the middle.
Comb each side smoothly and evenly forward, then combine into a single ponytail right under the chin.
Comb the ponytail straight down.
Close a small book over the ponytail. I use a child's hard page book.
Keep the book level and slide it toward the ends.
Look at the ends and determine how much needs to come off.
Slide the book to that point and cut straight across the bottom of the book.

Repeat all the steps to be sure the results are even.

This gives a very slight U shape to the hem.

By the way, almost everybody gets thinner ends as the hair gets longer. It's because of the shed and regrow cycle. You'll always have more hairs that reach nape length than have grown all the way to the level of the longest ends.

queenovnight
July 19th, 2014, 11:44 AM
I disagree, and honestly.. I don't think you actually needed a trim at all.

Inconella
July 19th, 2014, 12:26 PM
Moms can be really weird with their daughter's hair. I know this is easier said than done, but try to let that stuff go in one ear and out the other. Your hair is beautiful, and you are the best judge of when you need a trim.

Zebra Fish
July 19th, 2014, 01:51 PM
Wow! No, you definitely don't need a cut! My mum does the same to me. I just became resistant, I think I don't even hear it now (or she stopped being annoying with it) :p

LongHairLesbian
July 19th, 2014, 01:59 PM
If your Mum saw my ends, she's probably be telling me the same thing. :lol: Is your Mum a life-long/long time short hair, by any chance? If so, she may not be used to tapering, which happens to 99% of people that grow their hair out without maintaining their length for a while. As MINAKO said, we don't live in a Pantene commercial, and don't need to aspire to. Six inches is very drastic, especially for you; I seem to remember you saying that you are around 5 feet? Six inches would have taken me to between BSL and MBL when I was at waist, but it would take you to APL! And there is absolutely no need for that. Mums can be extremely critical. I think that because they are your mother, some feel they are entitled to say whatever they like about your appearance; my Mum does it all the time. It has nothing to do with your ends looking objectively thin, but rather to do with your mother feeling like you should look the way she wants you to look. Your ends are looking great, keep growing Larki! :D

Larki
July 19th, 2014, 03:09 PM
If your Mum saw my ends, she's probably be telling me the same thing. :lol: Is your Mum a life-long/long time short hair, by any chance? If so, she may not be used to tapering, which happens to 99% of people that grow their hair out without maintaining their length for a while. As MINAKO said, we don't live in a Pantene commercial, and don't need to aspire to. Six inches is very drastic, especially for you; I seem to remember you saying that you are around 5 feet? Six inches would have taken me to between BSL and MBL when I was at waist, but it would take you to APL! And there is absolutely no need for that. Mums can be extremely critical. I think that because they are your mother, some feel they are entitled to say whatever they like about your appearance; my Mum does it all the time. It has nothing to do with your ends looking objectively thin, but rather to do with your mother feeling like you should look the way she wants you to look. Your ends are looking great, keep growing Larki! :D
Now that you mention it, yes, she's had very short hair (like 4 inches) for about ten years. And I think the longest she's ever had is like BSL. And yes, I'm 5 feet tall (60 inches), and my hair is currently about 22 inches, so... :p Six inches would be HUGE. Thank you!

chen bao jun
July 19th, 2014, 03:25 PM
It's your mom's opinion, she has a right to her opinion. Be grateful that she did what you wanted and saved you from going to a hairdresser (who probably would have cut off six inches) and just say thank you and expect that if she cuts your hair, she's going to have an opinion and may voice it, but it doesn't really matter, so long as she does what you want.
I think your hair looks great. But that's also just an opinion. If you think your hair looks great, that's the main thing.
Us moms have opinions like everyone else, they are not meant to hurt, they are just feedback. I am now at the age where I don't freak out at my mom's opinions anymore because I know she loves me and also that I am not forced to do them as I was when I was a kid (for good or ill) and also she is 80 years old and I won't have her around to listen to her opinions too much longer--or to feel her love, she loves me more than anybody else, including my husband and I am lucky to have a mom who cares so much. I am also at the age where my kids get mad at me every time I open my mouth and actually get mad at me even when I don't open my mouth (they say they know what I am thinking because of how I look etc. etc.), but this is just part of their natural desire to break away and become adults. One day when they are adults, I assume I will able to have opinions again without their thinking I am trying to bully them into doing what I want (which I don't want much out of them anymore, they are what they are at this point and I no longer have the job of training and forming them, thank Goodness! It's a hard job, although you do it because you love them ;)

sarahthegemini
July 19th, 2014, 04:21 PM
Personally I think your ends look great.

Wildcat Diva
July 19th, 2014, 05:30 PM
Aw Chen, you almost made me cry! It's hard to be a mom.

mary*rose
July 19th, 2014, 05:39 PM
chen what a beautiful post... :wail: *sniff sniff*

Anyway. I think your ends look fineLarki. My mom gets super critical about my hair, too, sometimes, and I came on here and got all the support I needed :) We're just here to tell you what you already know, but what you might not be hearing from a very important voice. If the blunt look was what you were going for, your mom nailed it! It looks great

Sarahlabyrinth
July 19th, 2014, 05:39 PM
If others think your hair is nice, you don't need to take your mom's advice about it. She may just prefer short hair. If I took my mom's advice I would always have had short, permed hair!

QMacrocarpa
July 21st, 2014, 08:10 AM
And even if they WERE thin, which, judging from the pictures, they aren't, so what? Who says ends have to be thick and blunt, and everything else is ugly and unacceptable? Fairies everywhere disagree!
There's no accounting for taste, it is your hair. Don't give a damn what other people think.
Exactly! My ends are way, way thinner than yours in the "before" photo, but I choose to keep them.

If my mother were in control of my hair it would be in a permanent bob (like hers). My mother could not be trusted to cut my hair, she always cut it to the (short) length she preferred. I'm glad your mother respected your wishes.

curlylocks85
July 22nd, 2014, 08:44 AM
Your hair looks beautiful to me. IMO I don't think your mom should cut your hair - it looks uneven in the second pic.

AngryVikingGirl
July 22nd, 2014, 10:49 AM
Your ends look fine to me, too. But I've come to the conclusion that hairstylists and *trendy* people usually have a different idea about healthy, well-kept hair from ours, here in LHC. Fairytales are not OK, tapering is not OK etc. It's not even meant in a bad way. Sometimes they just want to *make it look good*.
Also, tapering is natural, especially when you're growing your hair out. When you're improving your routine, thickness is travelling down. I've seen it myself. You save more hairs than before by being gentle.
Happy growing! :)