My hair is down to the middle of my back & my ends are very thin. Family wont shut up

[JCM]

I will try to describe this the best way I can.

My hair is down to the middle of my back and my ends are very thin.
The thin ends start about 5 inches above the end of my hair length and gradually work their way down to the bottom of my hair length.
My family will not shut up about this.
They keep telling me my hair is not as thick as it used to be.

Well obviously from the time my head was completely shaved to where I looked like a skinhead to right now as I am typing this, not every single hair on my head completed the journey down to the middle of my back.
Some of the hairs shed along the way.
I do not remember the last time I had my hair cut or trimmed.
2 years ago perhaps.
My profile picture was taken right around the time I joined this forum.

Does my family honestly believe every single hair from my profile picture was going to make the long journey down to the middle of my back?
My hair does shed quite a bit when I go to the salon to have it washed.
But every single hair I shed has the white bulb on the end. I know because I have checked the drain before.

I have antenna hairs of various lengths all over my head.
So obviously the shed hairs are growing back.
Plus if I grab a chunk of my hair and pull it straight up above my head and examine it I notice the hairs making up that chunk are all of various lengths.

I try to explain this to my family but they will still not shut up about it.

"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."
"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."
"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."

So finally I issued a challenge to one of them.

I will shave my head like a skinhead again.
They can examine my entire scalp.
I guarantee that my entire shaved head will go from skinhead to the beginnings of the crewcut stage (not just on the top but all over my head.) in less than 2 weeks. My hair regrows that fast.

Once this happens she is to hand over to me a piece of her prized jewelry collection I can take to the pawn shop and come back with $1,000 cash in my hands regardless of it's actual higher retail value.
All I want from her is $1,000 cash for the inconvenience of having to shave my head.

Finally.
They all shut their mouths.
Especially the family member I issued the challenge to.

How can I prove to them there is nothing wrong with my hair without having to shave my head and start from scratch?

[dulce]

When they start ,say you're not listening to this and walk away.Talking to them just encourages it.
You cannot change their minds but you can set limits..

[martyna_22]

Well, it's normal that when you shaved all your hair off, some of it was in the active growing stage, while some strands were close to falling out. If you decided to trim off some of the growth, say, every month as much as it grew during the month, or half of it, I guarantee you'll have thicker hair very soon. Or maybe if you're not patient enough, trim off a bit more, hair does grow back after all. Don't do it *just* to prove them something. If you shave your head, make sure it's what you want, because your opinion matters here.
I'm sorry your family isn't supportive. From what I see, though, it's a common occurence.. Anyway, wait a week or so before you take the plunge, to see if you still want to do it.

[emilia1992]

I agree with dulce. I think it's just become a topic for them to start on when they have little else to talk about - it's quite possible that they aren't actually that concerned with your hair thickness. You could try smiling and changing the subject; anything to let them know this repetitive discussion is not something you care for their opinions on.

[Gothchiq]

I think I would tell them that it is YOUR hair and not THEIR problem, and that you have heard quite enough about all this. It sounds ridiculously annoying.

[JCM]

I think I will just cut off the 5 inches and then maintain it every month by having it trimmed.

[Gothchiq]

That's not a bad idea. It will look really nice and even when you do this.

[Madora]

Just remember that hair grows at different rates and not all hairs will be the same length. Also, some people grow hair faster on one side than the other. Once you've cut off the 5 inches you mentioned, just let it grow. Trim it every few months (not every month or you'll be cutting off new growth and going no where fast).

Be patient and it will grow. Once it gets long enough to put up, learn some new styles. Once your hair is up the temptation to complain about its condition usually stops. Good luck!

[SkyChild]

I'm with Madora. I put my hair up most days and people don't notice or comment on what it looks like.
But maybe trimming would stop their comments, as long as it's what you want to do.

Don't shave your head just to prove a point - that way, they win

[AmyBeth]

I would not cut or even trim just to please the cynics. I think I would tell them that your hair is YOUR business and that any further conversation about it is unwelcome. I would continue to grow it with regular microtrims (as I do), and sooner than you think, you'll be able to show the"know it alls" how much healthy progress you've made. It takes time to grow out from a shave, and either they refuse to understand that, or it's just too much fun toupset you with their comments. Take their fun out of it by refusing to play along by getting upset. Ignore!!!

[diddiedaisy]

I have the same problem, 4 inches need to go through shedding. I'm not chopping until I've got another couple of inches then I'll maintain or micro trim until the new growth catches up. I just wear my hair up now as it looks a mess!!

[whoa182]

You just have to stick to your word that you're growing your hair and eventually they'll give up. Engaging them and trying to defend your decisions will likely result in stress, and that's no good either. ;P

[memeow]

I think "proving your family wrong" is not the correct goal. Who cares what they think? You aren't growing your hair to make them happy, right? It doesn't even sound like they're telling you it needs to get cut, just that it isn't as thick as it once was. And you've admitted that in a sense they're right--your hair doesn't look as thick as it used to, because it's developed more taper as it's gotten longer. As long as they're not insisting you cut it, all you need to do is tell them you don't like the personal remarks they're making. They can think whatever they want.

Are you happy with how your hair looks now? If you're happy with it, carry on. If you want it to appear thicker, either cutting back to where it's thick or microtrimming until it catches up could both work.

[Agnes Hannah]

Its your hair, do what makes you happy. There is a motto somewhere around here which says "I'm not here to decorate your world", I love this and hold it true for me. My mum hates it when I bun mine, which is nearly every day, but I like it and it keeps my hair protected and I can grow it long this way. My hair my rules. Take care.x

[QMacrocarpa]

It's completely normal for ends to get thinner as hair gets longer. There's an excellent explanation of the phenomenon here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G4RyJMKtTc

But I doubt that presenting facts about hair growth to your family will solve your issue, it sounds like there's just a family habit of carping on your hair. If that's the case, consider how you might take your hair off the table as a topic of discussion. Could you wear your hair in a braid or bun around the most irritating critics?

After a big shed a couple years back I have quite thin ends (and with me the thin "ends" start pretty high up). My hair is definitely "not as thick as it used to be," but so what? I still prefer to keep it long. If I were forced to discuss my hair with annoyingly critical family members, I suppose it would go like this:

"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."
"I still prefer to keep it long."
"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."
"I still prefer to keep it long."
"Your hair is not as thick as it used to be."
"I still prefer to keep it long."

[lapushka]

How can I prove to them there is nothing wrong with my hair without having to shave my head and start from scratch?

Pfft. *snort* You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. Period.

[YamaMaya]

Start making comments about their hair.

"Your hair isn't as shiny as it used to be"
"Your hair isn't as soft as it used to be"
"Your hair isn't as full as it used to be"
"Your hair is more gray than it used to be"

Should shut them right up :)

[Flor]

I see 2 options here. 1 - explain hair growth, shedding and fairy tale ends. 2 - tell them to mind their own business/hair.

[Federica]

Start making comments about their hair.

"Your hair isn't as shiny as it used to be"
"Your hair isn't as soft as it used to be"
"Your hair isn't as full as it used to be"
"Your hair is more gray than it used to be"

Should shut them right up :)

This ^^^^^ :bow:

[curlylocks85]

It sounds to me you handled your family just fine. Why do you feel the need to prove anything about your hair? Ask yourself, "If your family was not telling you these things, would it even be an issue? Everyone has an opinion, but the only opinion that matters, is yours.

[JCM]

Thank You to everyone who responded.
I am still trying to decide what I am going to do.

If I do decide to cut/trim off a few inches...

Should I let all of my hair rest behind my back when it is cut/trimmed for a straight even line when all of my hair is behind my back?

or

Should I place some of it in front of both left/right shoulders so it could get cut/trimmed evenly on all sides which would then result in an uneven line when my newly cut/trimmed hair is once again resting behind my back?

[furnival]

Thank You to everyone who responded.
I am still trying to decide what I am going to do.

If I do decide to cut/trim off a few inches...

Should I let all of my hair rest behind my back when it is cut/trimmed for a straight even line when all of my hair is behind my back?

or

Should I place some of it in front of both left/right shoulders so it could get cut/trimmed evenly on all sides which would then result in an uneven line when my newly cut/trimmed hair is once again resting behind my back?

Shaving your head to prove a point would be like cutting your nose off to spite your face. If you want long hair, you grow long hair. It's nobody's business but your own. Sounds like your problem is more to do with being annoyed by family members than actual hair!

If you're concerned about taper, trim away: instructions for Feye's self-trim here http://feyeselftrim.livejournal.com

[Wildcat Diva]

If you do get a trim, look into what hemline you want for now. Blunt and straight across your back or a U or V. My barber pulls hair on the side of my head out to the side by my elbow to cut those parts, so it actually ends up a gentle U when it's all pulled to the back, which I prefer. You'll have to see what you want to do.

Their comments come from ignorance. Thinner ends naturally result for most of us when growing out. Your family are being overly critical of what is normal. It's not breaking off. Just ask them repeatedly to stop talking about a process they are not willing to understand.

[Johannah]

I recommend Feye's method if you want a trim. I've cut some inches back to thicken up the hemline and I didn't regret it. But just know it's your choice, only do it if you want.

[Wildcat Diva]

On second thought, maybe they are not being overly critical, it's more like they point out the obvious, but don't understand causation. Ok, your hair is thinner than it used to be (at the ends). You can reply, "yes, of course it is... It makes sense to me that this is so... And your point?"