I really-really need HELP!:(( My hair remains the same length for almost a year now:(

[White tea]

Hi there all! Frist of all, sorry if I post this in the wrong place or something, I'm kinda new here!

I've seen that many of you have loooong and beautiful hair, and you all support each other, and I really need that along with a little help :(
I'm not obssessed but I really like to take care of my hair but no one shares this interest, lol :P

So, maybe this will be long but I feel I have to explain everything, I take good care of my hair and it's so ungrateful!:( No one would tell the routine I go through in order to have long and beautiful hair,
but it just doesn't reflect on my hair!:((( My main problem is, that I can't see or measure ANY change in the length of my hair. I measure it every month, on my roots I always could see that it's growth around 3 or even 4 centimeters (!!) but when I measured it's still remain the same! I think it's breaking off, my ends are always dry, no matter what I do, some people say that I should cut off a long section of my hair, but that's just stupid. That never worked for me. Last time I had this, was an accident. I asked my mom to trim only 1 cm of my hair, and she chopped of 9 centimeters because it was dry and "itt will be healthier now, you will see!" I almost cried, I knew that's not working for me, my ends always, ALWAYS become dry again.My hair was 71cm after this 'murder'. She didn't beleive me, and here I am, 9 months later, my ends were dry again by christmas and still are, my hair is 73 cm....

I'm gonna explain my hair care routine and really-really don't know what should I do with it :( I stopped dying my hair, for 3 months now, and I put rest on the hair mask. I would like to try catnip or neutral henna but very skeptical, because nothing ever worked for me, but I really want to have long, beautiuful and healthy hair.

1.) Always let my hair air-dry. If I want to have curls, I curl them up a little wet and pin them to my head, and let them air-dry again :) I never brush my hair until it's dry.

2.) I wash my hair every 4-5 days, until that it's fine. I use silicone-free shampoo. Before I wash my hair, I ALWAYS put on some self-made hairmask, for at least an hour. It's a mixture and coaints several things:

for my roots: coconut oil, castor oil, argan/moroccon oil and a spray which originally was created for damaged skin but I read that it does miracles for the hair too, its called Panthenol ( vitamin B5 ).

for my ends: coconut oil, argan oil and a milk protein conditioner

3.) I brush my hair only once in the morning and maybe in the evening if I go out.I use a boar bristle brush.

4.) I take vitamins for my hair, I take something which is specially made for hair, it contains zinc, B6,B1,B2,biotin,B12. I also take 1 fish oil capsule and 1 iron.

5.) I dyed my hair every 2 months for the last year but now it's 3 months since I stopped. I don't want to do anything to my hair until it's growth.

6.) I trim my hair every 2-3 months but only 1 cm.

7.) Sometimes I massage my scalp :)

8.) I have a healthy lifestyle. I do sports, eat healthy, lots of fruits and veggies and drink 2 l of water every day.


I'm sorry for this long post and all the whining but I AM desperate.... :(( I really put a lot of energy and money to have nice, healthy hair but I'm hopeless now... :( any advice?

( Also sorry for grammar mistakes, english is my second language! )

[panffle]

Do you wear your hair up in a protective style daily?

[White tea]

Like a bun? :) No, I usually have it out, or sometimes in pony tail.

[Larki]

Hm, for your ends, do you put the oil on and then apply the conditioner? I'd switch the order if that's the case; the oil may be sealing your hair and preventing the conditioner from doing anything.

[panffle]

Then that's the issue. You need to protect the ends to make sure they won't tangle and break off. Your hair IS growing, and the ends are the oldest part of your hair. Try wearing it up in a bun every day for a week, maybe then a month and you might see a difference... Just make sure it's not too tight or pulling on your roots. A ponytail isn't a protective style.

[White tea]

OMG, that's it ? Physical protection? :3 Thank you, I'm gonna it for a month and then measure.

Larki: I kinda mix them and leave on my hair for an hour or so :/ Is that bad?

[Johannah]

I'm going to repeat myself, since this forum doesn't want to sent my replies today:

You say your shampoo doesn't contain silicones. Does it contain SLS (sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate)?

It could be a simple case of clarifying. If you use many oils etc. on your hair, it might cause build-up. Your hair can become very tangy, piecey and dry.

[Hrtchoco]

My hair is about the same length as yours, to be honest, I feel it's a really good length and I probably just going to maintain this length.

Do you let your hair rub between chair, pillow, sheets, towels or whatever? If you are already very careful, then I don't know why your ends are dry. Maybe try a more gentle shampoo and always use a deep treatment mask as conditioner?

[jacqueline101]

I'd like to say welcome first. Let's see condition before you oil might help tuck your ends under your buns or protective styles. Wear a satin sleep cap at night maybe the dying your hair is drying it causing it to break. If you don't want to give it up coconut oil helps I apply mine daily. You can do coconut oil soaks nightly.

[RapunzelKat]

Welcome White tea! :flower: You've come to the right place for hair help!

Let's see, a few things you can try... :)

Definitely start wearing some protective hairstyles. As mentioned above, this helps protect your delicate ends from the environment. Spin pins, hairsticks, and forks are all great ways to secure your hair. Avoid ponytail holders with metal or rough parts, as these can can catch and rip at your hair.

I'd suggest checking your shampoo for protein. If it has too much, it can make your hair dry and tangly. Also, clarifying (getting all the residue out of your hair) is always a good thing to try. Too much stuff in your hair, even the good stuff like coconut oil, can make your hair sticky and tangly.

Also, you mentioned that you brush your hair? Do you detangle it first? It's very important to detangle gently with a wide tooth comb before brushing, as pulling a brush through tangles can be very hard on your hair. Boar bristle brushes are great for hair health, but not good for detangling.

Your English is very good, by the way :thumbsup:

[MINAKO]

It could also be simply because you hair is reaching about terminal. I think it's a common misconception that everyone grows hair to their knees if the just try hard enough, of course you will only know, well, until you tried.
I would second the protective hairstyles and an extra bit of moisture in from of LOC or something along the lines.

[panffle]

OMG, that's it ? Physical protection? :3 Thank you, I'm gonna it for a month and then measure.
Yup, that's it! My hair was the same. Felt like it wasn't growing (or growing very little) and needed to be trimmed monthly... or at least microtrimmed. I've been wearing my hair up every day for about 5 months, and I haven't had to trim my hair at all for the past few months. It's so much better now, plus I am so used to wearing my hair up now that wearing it down feels off... :)

[Wildcat Diva]

Did you say that your ends are dyed? Those ends will always be a bit more prone to being more easily dry and breaking off. But if you baby them, you can grow them out fine. I am growing out straightener damage, but I won't trim it all off for years (or I'd be a real shortie). I can just baby it a bit and deal with it for now.

[White tea]

Thank you much for the advices and welcoming messages :o :) :) I will definitely wear my hair in a protective bun, I've never tought about that before :S
My shampoo is very natural, no SLS or other things :) BUT! I use my brush to untangle my hair, since everyone said that brush is the most gentle thing to my hair, but I didn't felt the same, I think that's another habit
to change tho :) From now on I'm gonna untangle my hair with a wooden wide-tooth comb, I just read a few minutes ago that that's better for it.

With the hair mask, well. I think I will use that catnip method i read about it here, give it a try ( I can use it on dyed hair right? ) and cont. to use coconut oil for the ends, just a little maybe for the nights.

I'm sure I wont use any hairdye until it's growth, after it I just don't know. That's another issue but I have time to think on it.

Really thanks girls for your help!! I'm gonna update my profile when there's a change :) And sorry again for the big post! :o

[Johannah]

If your shampoo doesn't contain SLS, I should clarify, just to be sure. Links that might help you as well:

Basic hair care tips. (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=5090)
Keeping splits at bay. (http://archive.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=5816%20[/URL)
Bun list. (http://forums.longhaircommunity.com/showthread.php?t=82713)

[spidermom]

I agree that your English is very good. As for dry ends - what do you mean exactly?

If you haven't done a good clarifying wash in a long time, get a clarifying shampoo and wash all your hair from scalp to tips. I recommend that you then let it dry without any conditioner or oil to see how it feels and behaves so that you can experience the difference. You may find that with your hair, less is better. This is true of my hair. For example, I used to use gobs of conditioner. For every bottle of shampoo, I needed 2-3 bottles of conditioner. I've discovered that my hair is much better if I use only one pump of conditioner (about 1/2-1 tablespoon). I then spend time massaging and finger-combing this conditioner through my hair, then rinse. I also like a bit of coney serum for a leave-in because it helps me untangle my hair much easier. It doesn't cause a problem. I only use the serum about every 2nd or 3rd shampoo, and I only need to clarify my hair every 2-3 months.

To sum up: you may be doing too much to your hair, and it's all the products and oils, etc, that are causing a problem.

[Johannah]

I agree that your English is very good. As for dry ends - what do you mean exactly?

If you haven't done a good clarifying wash in a long time, get a clarifying shampoo and wash all your hair from scalp to tips. I recommend that you then let it dry without any conditioner or oil to see how it feels and behaves so that you can experience the difference. You may find that with your hair, less is better. This is true of my hair. For example, I used to use gobs of conditioner. For every bottle of shampoo, I needed 2-3 bottles of conditioner. I've discovered that my hair is much better if I use only one pump of conditioner (about 1/2-1 tablespoon). I then spend time massaging and finger-combing this conditioner through my hair, then rinse. I also like a bit of coney serum for a leave-in because it helps me untangle my hair much easier. It doesn't cause a problem. I only use the serum about every 2nd or 3rd shampoo, and I only need to clarify my hair every 2-3 months.

To sum up: you may be doing too much to your hair, and it's all the products and oils, etc, that are causing a problem.

Couldn't have said it better myself. ;)

[Johannah]

Double post.

[allycat]

I agree with Spidermom. If I did all that without clarifying once every few weeks, my hair would be a dry, tangly mess. Clarifying regularly works wonders for me. In fact dry ends are the first indicator that I need a good clarifying wash. Then, nice and silky returns.

Hope that helps, and good luck!

[Nadine <3]

I agree with Spidermom. When I first started growing my hair out I was putting so much stuff on it and trying so many different oils, serums, shampoos, conditioners, brushes, combs, washing techniques that my hair just got overwhelmed and got a lot of build up. I've since discovered that my hair doesn't really need all that. I wash, condition and apply a leave in conditioner and an oil to seal and that's it. I literally wear it in braids and buns for a week and that's it. My hair is MUCH happier!

[lapushka]

You say that it's dry and brittle. Do you use the protein conditioner *every* time you wash? Second of all. You may need to trim less. It might be growing more slowly, which means that cutting 1 cm every 2 to 3 months is too much. If it's every 2 months, then you're cutting half your growth off every time you trim.

[mira-chan]

I know you mentioned that you eat healthy and take vitamins but hair not growing can be a sign of a health issue. I had vitamin D deficiency and my hair stopped growing for a year. Thyroid and other hormonal issues are notorious for messing with hair growth. I'd suggest checking with a doctor about that in addition to treating your hair gently.

Sometimes dryness comes from water quality as well. If there are minerals in the water (hard water) then an acidic rinse, like diluted vinegar, may help.

[White tea]

Woohhoo Thank you so much for the many thoughts you added here! :) It feels good to be here :3

Well, yes I put all that stuff on my hair befre every wash. Since I added the milk protein my ends are soft after every wash, but I think it's a "fake" softness, bc a few days later I can see it's just as dry as it was.
I'm stopping all that stff now, give my hair a rest. I did all those things bc I was desperate :/ My hair is growing, to be honest it's growing fast! ( I used to dye my hair, and I could see exactly how much did it growth, usually it's around inch / month ( 3 cm ) but sometimes it's even more ( 4cm ) That's why I didn't understand why my hair is the same lenght. I trimmed it 2 weeks ago, I have no split ends so I' not touching it for a few months I guess.

I bought big and very soft hair elastics, and I have my hair in a protective bun now :3 Next mission is to find a decent comb to my hair, I found wide-toothed one which is from antistatic .... pvc or something? I tried to look at it close ( maybe in the store they didn't know what I want from that comb, lol ) I loooked seamless to me but I didn't buy it, I wanted to look up that is it good for my hair or nah ? :/

Johannah! thank so much for the links! There's a lot of reading to do :)) I'm trying to search now for clarifying wash/shampoo bc I'm not sure what it is. ..... soo, it's LIKE a regular shampoo but it's like a deep cleaning to my hair? Is it like an every once in a while thing? So not like a regular wash, but like a 'special' wash? Bc if it is, have to say, I never even heard of it :3 ( I know, I know... ) If i do it, will it do anything to my hair color? It's dyed and I don't want to loose that !

[White tea]

Okay. A month goes by and my hair changed NOTHING. I can't even describe the disappointment I feel. I hate my hair at the moment, I just f..... hate it!!! So ungrateful I just ugghhh! I wore it in a protective bun all month, I haven't dyed for 3 or 4 months now, I didn't put any oils on it and I'm using now a wide-toothed seamless comb. I just mesured my hair, and it's the same lenght, I mean the exact same length just like in the past almost a year. I had longer hair, so it's not reaching terminal, I don't know what's happening but I'm just really really sad now, nothing is f..... good enough for my stupid, sh.tty hair :mad::wail::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:

[browneyedsusan]

I have felt very similar: roots growing out, length not changing.
But I have DD (17 years old) for reference. She has WL+ hair, in spite of beating the daylights out of it! She gets regular highlights, and heat straightens almost daily. She never puts it up. Her ends have monster splits, and it STILL grows.
My length has looked like it's barely touching my bra for months and months, but my ends are way better than DD's. If her hair is growing, mine MUST be! It MUST! How can the roots grow, and the length not change? I know mine isn't breaking off like hers must be?

A few days ago, I checked my length again: solidly 1" below my bra. It's been there ever since. I don't know if I was standing different, or my hair was straighter, or what, but there it is!

Yours is growing, too. Your hair is curly and that causes all kids of measurement challenges! I'd try to forget about the length until Christmas, then check again. Just put it up and forget about it. It'll get there. :)

[two_wheels]

I know it sucks to wait, but especially if you're curly or even just a bit wavy, personally I think measurement is so prone to variation that you aren't going to see the difference in 1 month. My measuring tape has said 22" for months now, but I can see the difference by looking at photos from a few months ago!

Try taking a picture, wearing it up, keep doing everything you're doing, and take another picture in 3-6 months. That is the kind of timeframe where you can hope to see a small gain. Not 1 month. Sorry :flower:

[eadwine]

When I found out I was wavy I swear.. my hair got sucked back into my head! Give it time :)

[restless]

From your first post it doesnt seem like you use any heat, but have you been heat styling in the past? Dye and heat trashed my hair and for an entire year it didnt appear to be growing at all because it simply broke off. That old damage takes years to grow out so even if you stopped a couple of months ago, it will still be there. Of course, some people can do those things and still grow long hair, but it says youre a f/m so maybe you cant. I certainly couldnt.

As a fellow wavy, I also agree with two_wheels: the results can vary widely when you measure, so I dont think thats the way to go either, at least not monthly. I like the suggestion of taking a picture every couple of months instead.

[White tea]

Hey guys! I must be doin' something wrong on my profile, I'm a very very little bit wavy I think my hair is in the straight category. On my photo is just a hairstyle for one day, my hair is nothing like that :/ I expected growing in 1 month because when I used to dye my hair I always could seen from the roots that it has grown centimeters every single months! I never used heat for hairstyling but I used to torture my hair with dye and that was.... yes, I think that was the main cause of the dryness. That's why I stopped, I wanted to give my hair a break to rest and be healthy again. But maybe you all right, I just have to wait more and forget about all this. I'm just not sure If I do everything right ? I left all my bad hair habits and chaged to the things I was told here, and it reaaallllyyy sucks that others can literally fry their entire hair with heat or bleach or anything and still going full speed towards long hair. The ends are dry, old and probably tired, but I'm NOT trimming it, because it has no split ends, and I kept cutting my hair shorter but the ends always dried out in no time, so that's the one thing I am not going to do.

[restless]

The ends are dry, old and probably tired, but I'm NOT trimming it, because it has no split ends, and I kept cutting my hair shorter but the ends always dried out in no time, so that's the one thing I am not going to do.

You dont have to- its your hair and nobody can force you :) When I started growing out my hair it was in really poor condition due to the heat and dye mentioned above, but I was determined to keep the length I had no matter what and refused to get rid of it. I tried to save what I could by soaking it in coconut oil twice a week and even though hair cant be healed once broken, it can still improve in quality and that way you can postpone a cut. Apart from a few slightly bigger trims, microtrimming (just a centimeter every now and then) let me gain length while I slowly but surely got rid of the damage and as of today, I only have a couple of centimeters of dye/heat damage left (the virgin hair reaches to waist and the damage to hip).

Edit: I didnt mean you have to trim eventually either, Im just saying this is one way to go to get rid of any (dye) damage while still gaining length and improving quality.

[Nightshade]

Well, I think the bleaching/dying/heat-applications almost always catches up with people in the end.

What you have to remember is that even though you stopped your bad habits, your hair is still damaged from previous treatments and will continue to break off. You can mitigate how much it breaks off, but it is going to be more dry, brittle, and fragile than virgin hair.

I grew out very damaged hair when I first came here, and you might like the article in my signature about how I did it :)

[MsPharaohMoan]

First, breathe.

An old roommate had a lovely quote on her wall regarding comparing yourself to others and how it just wasn't worth it… Since I don't remember it, here's a wikihow link you may find useful: http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Comparing-Yourself-to-Others

Cheese?

[White tea]

Nightshade, I have to admit I got completely lost in that article :D In a good way I mean I read all of it, and then click all the links and than find some another stuff in te links so I totally enjoy this, thank you :)) I try to stay positive, I just really waited for measurement day and I didn't got what I expected so...

[Chromis]

I agree that one month might be too short a time! I did not dye my hair or use heat before coming here, but I did wear it in a ponytail all the time before I came here. Even though I used gentle holders and didn't tighten them, it left a lot of damage! After a while of wearing my hair up I could see the line from where I used to tie my ponytail at the nape as it moved down with the new hair growing. The hair was never as nice, no matter how well I treated it. I only gradually trimmed it though and eventually it was all gone. I only trim to keep my hemline even, otherwise I do something called "search and destroy" on these boards, or S&D. Basically if I see a split or a white dot, I cut just that. Most of my splits aren't at the very end, so just trimming does not keep them away. When I have a tangle, there is nearly always a split hair and sometimes a tiny bit of lint in the middle.

I braid my hair at night and use a smooth pillowcase. One other thing that I was doing before that hurt my hair was ripping the brush through while it was wet. I'm sure already you know not to do this though since you have been reading! I thought by brushing before and after I showered I would be getting rid of all the loose hairs, but of course, I was just breaking them! (I found this website originally because I was so tired of shedding so much haha)

[White tea]

Yeah, I will definetly give some time for my hair ( what else can I do? :D ) I really hope I'm doin' everything right. The funny thing in this forum that there are sooo many shorties what I don't understand and have to look up one by one :D S&D is one of them I learned it here :)) I'm doing it too, but fortunately I don't have split ends that brutal. I mean if i spot them, they are like 1-2 mm ( milimeters !!! ) and they are not even white :) Just like someone said above, my roots are growing but my length has not changin' and that's soo frustrating.

Actually, I'm glad that you mentioned the ponytail, because ( now ) I usually wear my hair up, in a protective updo. I make a bun, a loose one, like wrapping my hair in a bun and finish it by tucking the ends inside and secure it with a big very soft elastic. Is that good? I mean on the long term? Sometimes I braid it, but that's the only 2 styles I'm doin' unless I go out with friends. :)

[Chromis]

I know plenty of people like them, but I personally would say to ditch the scrunchii-kind of things (those big fabric covered elastic tubes). I really, really recommend trying out hair sticks or a hairfork. You don't have to get anything expensive to try this. My first hairstick was a children's chopstick. You can also use a double pointed knitting needle bent into a big long u-shape as a nice starter fork. U pins are hair friendly as well, much better than bobby pins. Like these: http://www.amishvalleyproducts.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/recent_news_main_image/GB%20036a_0.jpg Many people like spin pins which you might be able to find in a drugstore.

[Agnes Hannah]

My hair is fragile, it is fine and thin. I have grown it from pixie to almost waist. I have done this by using gentle shampoo and less of it, with lots of conditioner. The conditioner I use is cheap and I use a lot of it. I have some extra conditioner with protein for my ends. After conditioning once, I condition again with a Tresemme, to seal in the goodness of the extra protein conditioner for my ends. I use serum or coconut oil on the ends every night and braid it without tying it off, before putting it into a silk sleep cap. I have a silk pillowcase too for added protection. I use combs mainly, very rarely brushes now. My combs are hand made, two are Kent and the other two are wooden and horn. Every day I wear it up up in one of my claw clips mainly, sometimes a hair fork or stick, but rarely. This routine has enabled me to protect my fine fragile ends, whilst growing it. Good luckx

[silvurgrin]

You could also try taking a silica and biotin supplement. This seems to work wonders for some people.

Good luck.

[urs]

hi White tea

I used to also think like you couple months back, but once I joined this forum I have achieved a lot and learnt a lot from this group. I have wavy and sometimes curly and it is difficult to measure, so relax.

I used to straighten my hair, but I have stopped for like 8 months now. my hair is always up.

I have a bun net that helps my ends to be tucked away.

:)

[urs]

hi White tea

I used to also think like you couple months back, but once I joined this forum I have achieved a lot and learnt a lot from this group. I have wavy and sometimes curly and it is difficult to measure, so relax.

I used to straighten my hair, but I have stopped for like 8 months now. my hair is always up.

I have a bun net that helps my ends to be tucked away.

:)

[NuclearApple]

Hi! :)

I see you told us that you used to styled and dyed your hair a lot in the past, but I can't understand if your hair now is dye free or if it has still dye in it.
If your hair has still dye/bleach/old damage, that's the problem!
Doesn't matter how well you treat your hair, it won't absorb any nourishment because it's "dead" hair that continue to thin out and break, no matter how many products you use or how healthy your routine is.
I bleached half of my hip length hair a year ago, and the ends started to get thinner and thinner and started to break too, I used any kind of oil, treatment, conditioner, no way! It was still damaged and grew slowly.
The only thing to do in this case is to trim all the damage out, with microtrims or a big chop (like I did); trust me it's the only solution possible.


If your hair is virgin (100% dye free) it's very strange. You can't have reached terminal length and your routine is super healthy. It might be as other said health issues, you may visit a doctor to see if you have lacks of some vitamins or similar.

Good luck! :)

[Dreams_in_Pink]

I think your problem is damages done to your hair in the past.

The worst part of growing hair is that all the damage you do sticks with you for years. You might be thinking "I dyed my hair over 3 months ago and my hair's still splitting to this day!" I'm sorry to say that it will keep splitting until all those damaged ends are gone. This is why people chop their hair back to shoulder length or even buzzcut and start fresh.

I, for example, am still suffering from thinning shears massacre from over 3 years ago!

So, what can you do?
- Keep having it up in protective buns. Protective means, the ends should NOT be exposed. So a regular english braid is not a protective style.
- Always brush/comb starting from ends.
- Be patient and forget about your hair. Benign neglect is the best hair growing method ever. It might take years, but there will come a time you start seeing positive results.

ETA: Forgot to add...Your routine looks too much to me. You're handling your hair frequently which might also cause friction. Put your hair in a bun and forget about it. Buy some fancy good quality hairsticks and forks (wooden, not plastic!) and wear a different one each day. Concentrate on the toys and styles instead of hair itself. Remember, watched pot never boils :)

[JustPam]

I can only echo what others have said here already. If your ends are damaged from dye, previous styling habits, physical wear and tear, then that damage is irreversible and those ends will break off, no matter how much you baby them. You can moisturise your damaged hair all you want, it will take that moisture, but it won't keep it in, when you see microscopic images of damaged hair you can see why. I have this problem myself, constantly dry ends from bleaching/straightening/wearing down in the past, I haven't dyed my hair in 15 months, my roots are 7.5 inches but I certainly don't have that much extra length, I didn't measure at the time but I'm pretty sure I was almost at BSL, and I'm now BSL +1". My goal is virgin at waist, and I know that's going to take about another 3 years. I've decided to maintain at around BSL until the worst of the damage is out then I should have an easier time growing.